Selected quad for the lemma: death_n
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A10402
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Aristippus, or, The Ioviall philosopher presented in a priuate shew : to which is added, The conceited pedler.
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Randolph, Thomas, 1605-1635.
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1630
(1630)
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STC 20687; ESTC S942
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25,762
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47
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Schoolemen in praise of our Tutor Aristippus Can you sing Simplicius Sim. How begins it pray you 1 Schol. Aristippus is better Sim. O God Sir when I was in the state of ignorance I con'd it without booke thinking it had been a Position Aristippus is better in euery letter Then Faber the Parisiensis Then Scotus Soncinas and Thomas Aquinas Or Gregory Gandanensis Then Cardan and Ramus then old Paludanus Albertus and Gabriella Then Pico Mercatus or Scaliger Natus Then Niphus or Zabarella Hortado Trombetus were fooles with Toletus Zanardus and Will de Hales With Occham Ianellus and mad Algazellus Philoponus and Natalis The Conciliator was but a meere prater And so was Apollinaris Iandunus Plotinus the Dunce Eugubinus With Masius Sauil and Swarez Fonseca Durandus Becanus Holandus Pererius Auienture Old Trismigistus whose volumes haue mist vs Ammonius Bonauenture Mirandula Comes with Proclus and Somes And Guido the Carmelita The nominall Schooles and the Colledge of fooles No longer is my delighta Hang Brirewood and Carter in Crakenthorps garter Let Keckerman too bemoane vs I 'll be no more beaten for greasie lacke Seaton Or conning of Sandersonus The censure of Cato's shall neuer amate vs Their frosty beards cannot nip vs Your Ale is too muddy good Sacke is our study Our Tutor is Aristippus Enter the Wild-man with two Brewers Wild-man There they be now for the valour of Brewers knocke um soundly the old Rogue that 's hee doe you not see him there soundly soundly let him know what Champions good Beere has They beat out Aristippus and the Schollers Wild-man solus Now let them know that Beere is too strong for them and let me be hang'd if euer I be milder to such Rascals they shall find these but stale courtesies How now what 's here the learned Library the Philosophicall volumes these are the bookes of the black-Art I hate them worse than Bellarmine the golden Legend or the Turkish Alcharon I wonder what vertue is in this powder-faced Authour that it should make euery one fall into loue with it so deeply I 'll trie if I can find any Philirus any loue-potion in 't by my Domine not a drop O stultum ingenium hominum to delight in such vanities Sure these are Comments vpon Tobacco drie and juicelesse vanities I 'll trie againe by my bonafide but this doth relish some learning still better an admirable witty rogue a very flash I 'l turne another leafe still better has he any more Authors like this what 's here Aristippus a most incomparable Authour O Bodly Bodly thou hast not such a booke in all thy Library heer 's one line worth the whole Vatican O Aristippus would my braines had beene broken out when I broched thy hogs-head O curst Brewers and most accursed am I to wrong so learned a Philosopher as Aristippus what penance is enough to cleare me from this impardonable offence twenty purgations are too little I 'll suck vp all my Beere in Toasts to appease him and afterwards liue by my Wife and Hackneyes Oh that I had neuer vndertooke this selling of Beere I might haue kept my house with Fellowes Commons and neuer haue come to this But now I am a Wild-man and my house a Bedlam Aristippus Aristippus Aristippus Enter Medico de Campo Medico How now neighbour Wild-man Wild-man O Aristippus Aristippus what shall I doe for thee Aristippus Medico What extasie is this Wilde-man O Aristippus Aristippus what shall I doe for thee Aristippus Medico Why neighbour Wilde-man disclose your griefes to me I am a Surgeon and perchance may cure vm Wilde-man O cry you mercy you are the welcommest man on earth Sir Signior Medico de campo the welcomest man liuing the only man I could haue wished for O Aristippus Aristippus Medico Why what 's the matter neighbour O I heare he has seduced away your Parishioners is this the cause of your Lamentation Wilde-man O no Sir a learned Philosopher one that I loue with my soule but in my rage I cannot tell you Sir 't is a dismall tale the sharpest Razor in your shop would turne edge at it Medico Neuer feare it I haue one was sent from a faith I cannot thinke on 's name a great Emperour hee that I did the great cure on you haue heard on 't I am sure I fetched his head from China after it had beene there a fortnight buried and set it on his shoulders againe and made him as liuely as euer I saw him in my life and yet to see I should not thinke on 's name O I haue it now Prester Iohn a poxe on 't Prester Iohn 't was hee hee I faith 't was Prester Iohn I might haue had his Daughter if I had not been a foole and haue liu'd like a Prince all the daies of my life nay and perchance haue inherited the Crowne after his death but a poxe on 't her lips were too thicke for me and that I should not thinke on Prester Iohn Wilde man O Aristippus Aristippus poxe on your Prester Iohn Sir will you thinke on Aristippus Med. What should I doe with him Wilde man Why in my rage Sir I haue almost killed him and now would haue you cure him in sober sadnesse Medico Why call him out Sir Enter Simplicius Wilde-man Sir yonder comes one of his Pupils Medico Salue Mr. Simplicius Simp. Salue me 't is but a Surgeons complement Signior Medico de Campo but you are welcome Sir my Tutor wants helpe Are you there you Vsquebaugh Rascall with your Metheglin iuyce I 'll teach you Sir to breake a Philosophers pate I 'll make you leaue your distinctions as well as I haue done Wilde-man O pardon pardon me I repent Sir heartily O Aristippus Aristippus I haue broken thy head Aristippus but I 'll giue thee a plaister Aristippus Aristippus Medico I pray Sir bring him out in his Chaire and if the house can furnish you with Barbers prouision let all bee in readinesse Exit Simplicius Wilde-man Pray Sir doe you thinke you can cure him Medico Him why neighbour doe you not remember the Thumbe Wilde-man What of the Thumbe I haue not heard of it as yet Sir Medico Why the Thumbe the Thumbe doe you not know the cure of the Thumbe Wilde-man No Sir but I pray tell the cure of the Thumbe doe you still remember 't Sir Medico Remember't I and perfectly I haue it at my fingers end and thus it is Two Gentlemen were fighting one lost his Thumbe I by chance comming by tooke it vp put it in my pocket some two moneths after meeting the Gentleman I set on his Thumbe againe and if he were now in Cambridge I could haue his hand to shew for 't why did you ne'r heare of the Thumbe Sir 't is strange you neuer heard mee speake of the Thumbe Sir Enter three Schollers bringing fourth Aristippus in his Chayre 1 Schol. Signior de Medico Campo if you haue any art or skill shew it now you neuer had a more
Beggers Rhymes which you are bound to beleeues as faithfully as their predictions of foule and faire weather you shal heare some of Erra Paters Poetry I wish you all carefully Drinke Sacke but sparingly Spend your coyne thriftily Keepe your health warily Take heed of ebriety Wine is an enemy Good is sobriety Fly baths and Venery For your often potations much crudities cause by hindring the course of mother Natures lawes therefore he that desireth to liue till October ought to be drunke in Iuly but I hold it to be a great deale better that hee went to bed sober And let him alone thou man in the Moone yet had'st thou but read a leafe in this admired Author this aureum flumen this torrens cloquentiae thou would'st haue scorn'd to haue bin of the water Poets Tribe or Skeltons family but thou hast neuer tasted better Nectar than out of Fennors Wassaile Bowle which hath so transformed him that his eyes looke like two Tunnels his nose like a Fausset with the Spicket out and therefore continually dropping the Almanacke-makers and Physicians are alike grand enemies of Sacke as for Physicians being fooles I cannot blame them if they neglect Wine and minister simples but if I meete with you I 'll teach you another receipt Sim. Why meet him Tutor you may easily meet him I know him Sir cognitione distinctâ confusâ I warrant you doe you not smell him Tutor I know who made this Almanack against drinking Sacke ha Stroffe haue I found you Stroffe you will shew your selfe I see when all is done to be but a Brewers Clarke Aristip. But farre better speaks the diuine Ennius against your Ale and Barly-broth who knew too full well the vertue of Sacke when Nunquam uisi potus ad arma prosiluit dicenda his verses are in Latine but because the audience are Schollers I haue translated them into English that they may be vnderstood Heere read them 1 Schol. There is a drinke made of the Stygian Lake Or else of the waters the furies doe make No name there is bad enough by which it to call But yet as I wist it is ycleped Ale Men drinke it thicke and pisse it out thinne Mickle filth by Saint Loy that it leaues within But I of complection am wondrous sanguine And will loue by th' Morrow a cup of wine To liue in delight was euer my wonne For I was Epicurus his owne sonne That held opinion that plainely delight Was very felicity perfite A Bowle of wine is wondrous boone cheere To make one blyth buxome and deboneere 'T will giue me such valour and so much courage As cannot be found 'twixt Hull and Carthage Aristip. But aboue the wit of humanity the diuine Virgil hath extol'd the Encomium of Sacke in these verses 2 Schol. Fill me a Bowle of Sacke with Roses crown'd Fill't to the brim I 'll haue my temples bound With flowry Chaplets and this day permit My Genius to be free and frolique it Let me drinke deepe then fully warm'd with wine Ill chaunt Aeneas praise that euery line Shall prooue immortall till my moistned quill Melt into verse and Nectar-like distill I 'm sad or dull till bowles brim fil'd infuse New life in me new spirit in my Muse But once reuiu'd with Sacke pleasing desires In my childhood kindle such Actiue fires That my gray hayres seeme fled my wrinckl'd face Growne smooth as Hebes youth and beauties grace To my shrunke veines fresh blood and spirits bring Warme as the Summer sprightfull as the spring Then all the world is mine Croesus is poore Compar'd with me he is rich that askes no more And I in Sacke haue all which is to me My home my life health wealth and liberty Then haue I conquer'd all I boldly dare My Trophies with the Pelcan youth compare Him I will equall as his sword my pen My conquer'd world of cares his world of men Doe not Atrides Nestors ten desire But ten such drinkers as that aged sire His streame of honyed words flowed from the Wine And Sacke his Counsell was as hee was thine Who euer purchast a rich Indiaen mine But Bacchus first and next the Spanish wine Then fill my bowle that if I dye to morrow Killing cares to day I haue out-liu'd my sorrow Aristip. Thus resting in the opinion of that admirable Poet I make this draught of Sacke this Lectures period Dixi. Simp. Dixi dost thou say I and I 'll warrant thee the best Dixi in Cambridge who would sit poring on the learned Barbarisme of the Scholemen that by one of thy Lectures might confute them all pro con I begin to haue distinction actualiter habitualiter yet a poxe to see I cannot leaue them nec principaliter nec formaliter yet I begin to loue the Foxe better than subtilnesse Oh Tutor Tutor well might Foxe be a Colledge Porter that hee might open the Gates to none but thy Pupils come fellow Pupils if I did not loue you I were {non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman} and an absurdity in the abstract Let 's practise let 's practise for I 'll follow the steps of my Tutor night and day by this Sacke I shall loue this Philosophy before I heard this Lecture Bankes his Horse was an Aristotle in comparison of me I can laugh to thinke what a foolish Simplicius I was this morning and how learnedly I shall sleepe to night 2 Schol. Sleep to night why that 's no point of our Philosophy we must sit vp late and roare till we rattle the Welkin Sleepe what haue we to doe with deaths Cater-cousin doe you thinke Nature gaue starres to sleepe by haue you not day enough to sleepe in but you must sleepe in the night too 't is an arrant Paradox Sim. A Paradox let me be crampt if I sleepe then but what must we sleepe in the day then Schol. Yes in the morning Sim. And why in the morning 2 Schol. Why a poxe of the morning what haue we to doe with the sober time of the day Sim. 'T is true I see we may learne something of our fellow Pupils and what must wee doe now fellow pupils What must wee doe now 1 Schol. Why conferre our notes Sim. What is that 2 Schol. Why conferring of notes is drinking off cups halfe pots are saying of parts and the singing of Catches is our repetition Sim. Fellow Pupill I 'll conferre a note with you 1 Schol. Gramercy braue lad and it 's a good one an excellent Criticisme I would not haue lost it for Eustathius and his Bishopricke it 's a generall rule and true without exception Sim. Fellow Pupill I 'll conferre a note with you too 2 Schol. Faith let mee haue it let 's share and share like boone Rascals Simp. I 'll say my part to you both 2 Schol. By my troath and you haue a good memory you haue con'd it quickly Sir Sim. But what shall we haue for repetitions now 2 Schol. I what for repetitions 1 Schol. Why the Catch against the