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A50713 Merry drollery, or A Collection of [brace] jovial poems, merry songs, witty drolleries intermix'd with pleasant catches The first part / collected by W.N., C.B., R.S., J.G., lovers of wit. W. N. 1661 (1661) Wing M1860; ESTC R43449 66,103 184

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we still should cry Not to be born or being born to dye A Cambridge Droll THE Proctors are two and no more Then hang them that makes them three The Taverns they are but foure I wish they were more for me Chor. For three merry boyes and three merry boyes And three merry boys are we We 'll make if our numbers mix The Muses triple trine For two and four make six As all men do devine For two three and four makes nine The Myter no more shall sink Though Pym himself were there For that were Popery to think That Puritans dare come there For catholick Sack is there The Dolphins were numbred never As all men plainly see For I am sure for ever The Dolphin shall swim free And that 's enough for me The three tuns are forgot Which few do go to see But there 's a tun behind For him for thee and for me To make us frolick and free But if the Doctors droop In whom our number dies As the Arches put us in hope They are not like to rise And wine shall make us wise The wise men they were seven I wish they were more for me The Muses they were nine The Worthies three times three And three merry boys and three merry boys And three merry boys are we Resolved not to part Man MY Mistris whom in heart I loved long Her unkind words alas hath done me wrong Loe where she comes I mean her love to try Oh stay a while and hear her kind reply My faithful friend whom I esteem'd so deer Rejected is and gone I know not where Forlorn I live away all joyes are fled I lost my Love alas my heart is dead I will go sail into some Forraign Land To France or Flanders I 'll go out of hand When I come there to strangers I 'll complain And say my Love hath me unkindly slain Wo. If into France or Flanders you do go I 'll not stay here but follow thee also If false report abroad there thou dost tell I 'll check thee for 't and say thou didst not well Ma. Else to the Wilderness full fast I 'll high Among wild beasts there I mean to dye Where Wolves and Bears and other Creatures The Elephant and Unicorn with their odd features Wo. O stay at home sweet heart and go not there For those wild beasts will thee in pieces tear If that I should behold them suck thy blood Thou shouldst have mine sweet heart to do thee good Ma. I would I were all in the raging seas Or in some Bark to go even where it please Where comfort none alas is to be found And every hour in danger to be drown'd Ma. I would I were all in the lofty skies So far from ground as any Eagle flies For to fall down to ease me of my pain That I might die but die to live again Wo. If in the lofty sky thou shouldst remain I 'd soar so high thy love for to obtain And like the Eagle keep thee from all harms That thou shouldst fall in no place but mine arms Ma. Thus many wishes have I wisht in vain But none of these can ease me of my pain This marshal ponyard that shall end all grief Shall ease my heart that findeth no relief Wo. O stay at home good heart let it not die Thy life I love thy death I do defie Come live in love and so thou 'lt banish pain Take a good heart and I will love again Ma. Go lusty Lads go you the Musick fetch Your nimble legs and joynts you shall out-stretch While others dance and caper in the streets We 'll dance at home the shaking of the sheets The Power of Money 'T IS not the silver nor gold for it self That makes men adore it but 't is for its power For no man does doat upon pelf because pelf But all Court the Lady in hope of her dower The wonders that now in our daies we behold Done by the irresistible power of gold Our Zeal and our Love and Allegiance do hold This purchaseth Kingdoms Kings Scepters and Crowns Wins battels and conquers the Conquerors bold Takes Bulwarks and Castles and Cities and Towns And our prime Laws are writ in letters of Gold 'T is this that our Parliament calls and creates Turns Kings into Keepers and Kingdoms to States And peopledomes these into highdomes translates This made our black Synod to sit still so long To make themselves rich by making us poor This made our bold Army so daring and strong And made them turn them like Geese out of door 'T was this made our Covenant-makers to make it And this made our Priests for to make us to take it And this made both Makers and Takers forsake it 'T was this spawn'd the dunghil Crew of Committees and ' Strators Who live by picking the crockadile Parliaments gums This first made then prospered rebels and traitors And made gentry of those that were the nations scums This herald gives arms not for merit but store And gives coats to those that did sell coats before If their pockets be but lin'd well with argent and ore This plots can devise and discover what they are This makes the great Fellons the lesser condemn This sets those one the Bench that should stand at the Bar Who judge such as by right ought to execute them Gives the boysterous Clown his unsufferable pride Makes Beggars and Fools and Usurpers to ride Whiles ruin'd Propriators run by their side Stamp either the Amrs of the State or the King St. George or the Breeches C. R. or O. P. The Cross or the Fiddle 't is all the same thing This still is the Queen whosoe'er the King be This lines our Religion builds Doctrine and Truth With zeale and the Spirit the factious endueth To club with Saint Catharine or sweet sister Ruth 'T is money makes Lawyers give judgement or plead On this side or that side on both sides or neither This makes young men Clerks that can scarce write or read And spawns arbitrary orders as various as the weather This makes your blew Lecturers pray preach prate Without reason or sence against Church King or state To shew the thin lining of his twice-covered pate 'T is money makes Earls Lords Knights and Esquires Without breeding descent wit learning or merit This makes ropers and ale-drapers Sheriffs of shires Whose trade is not so low nor so base as their spirit This Justices makes and wise ones we know Furr'd Aldermen too and Maiors also This makes the old Wife trot and makes the mare to go This makes your blew aprons right worshipful And for this we stand bare and before them do fall They leave their young heirs well fleec'd with wooll Whom we must call Squires and then they pay all Who with beggarly souls though their bodies be gawdy Court the pale Chamber-maid and nick-name her a Lady And for want of good wit they do swear and talk bawdy This marriages makes
Wine and Gossips so fine And sugar to sweeten their tipple There 's Item I hope there 's Item for Sope There 's Item for fire and candle For better for worse there 's Item for Nurse The babe to dress and to dandle Then swadled in lap there 's Item for pap And Item for pot pan and ladle A Corral with bells which custome compels And Item ten groats for a Cradle With twenty odd Knacks Which the little one lacks And thus doth thy pastime bewray thee But this is the sport in Country and Court Then let not these pastimes betray thee The Drunkard THE Spring is coming on and our spirits begin To return to their places merrily home And every man is bound to lay in a good Brewing of bloud for the year to come They are Cowards that make it of clarified whay Or drink with the swine of the juyce of grains Let me have the rasie Canary to play And the sparkling Rhenish to dance in my veins Let dotards go preach that our lives are but short And tell us much Wine doth quick death invite But we 'll be reveng'd before hand and for 't We 'll croud a lives mirth in the space of a night Then stand we about with our glasses full crown'd Till every thing else to our postures do grow Till our cups and our heads and the house go round And the Sellar become where the Chamber is now Come fill us some wine we 'll a sacrifice bring This night full of Sack to the health of our K Till we baffle the Stars and the Sun fetch about And tipple and tipple and tipple a rout Whos 's first rising raies that is shewn from his throne Shall dash upon faces as red as his own And wonder that Mortals can fuddle away As much wine in a night as he water i' th' day In praise of Chocolate DOctors lay by your irkesome books And all the petty-fogging Rooks Leave quacking and enucleate The vertues of our Chocolate Let th' universal medicine Made up of dead-mens bones and skin Be henceforth illegitimate And yield to soveraign Chocolate Let bawdy-baths be us'd no more Nor smoaky-stoves but by the whore Of Babylon since happy fate Hath blessed us with Chocolate Let old Puncteus greaze his shooes With his Mock-Balsome and abuse No more the world but mediate The excellence of Chocolate Let Doctor Trig who so excels Lo longer trudge to westward Wells For though that water expurgate It 's but the dregs of Chocolate Let all the Paracelsian Crew Who can extract Christian from Jew Or out of Monarchy or State Break all their Stills for Chocolate Tell us no more of Weapon-salve But rather doom us to a grave For sure our wounds will ulcerate Unless they 're washt with Chocolate The thriving Saint that will not come Within a sack-shops bouzing Room His spirits to exhilerate Drinks bowls at home of Chocolate His Spouse when she brim-full of sense Doth want her due benevolence And babes of grace would propagate Is alwaies sipping Chocolate The roaring Crew of gallant ones Whose marrow rots within their bones Their bodies quickly regulate If once but sous'd in Chocolate Young heirs that have more Land than Wit When once they do but taste of it Will rather spend their whole Estate Than weaned be from Chocolate The nut-brown Lasses of the Land Whom Nature vail'd in face and hand Are quickly beauties of high rate By one small draught of Chocolate Besides it saves the moneys lost Each day in patches which did cost Them dear untill of late They found this heavenly Chocolate Nor need the women longer grieve Who spend their Oyl yet not conceive But it 's a help immediate If such but lick of Chocolate Consumptions too be well assur'd Are no less soon than soundly cur'd Excepting such as do relate Unto the purse by Chocolate Nay more Its Virtue is so much That if a Lady get a touch Her grief it will extenuate If she but smell of Chocolate The feeble man whom nature ties To do his Mistriss's drudgeries O how it will his mind elate If she allow him Chocolate 'T will make old women young and fresh Create new motions of the flesh And cause them long for you know what If they but taste of Chocolate There 's ne'er a Common-Council man Whose life would reach unto a span Should he not well affect the State And first and last drink Chocolate Nor ne'er a Citizen's chaste wife That ever shall prolong her life Whilst open stands her postern gate Unless she drink of Chocolate Nor dos't the Levite any harm It keepeth his devotion warm And eke the hair upon his pate So long as he drinks Chocolate Both high and low both rich and poor My Lord my Lady and his With all the folks at Billingsgate Bow bow your hams to Chocolate A Catch THere was an old man had an Acre of land He sold it for five pound a He went to the Tavern and dranke it all out Excepting half a Crown a And as he came home he met with a wench And ask'd her whether she was willing To go to the Tavern and spend eighteen pence And for the other odd shilling The Cavaleer's Complaint COme Jack let 's drink a Pot of Ale And I shall tell thee such a Tale Will make thine Ears to ring My Coyn is spent my Time is lost And I this only Fruit can boast That once I saw my King But this doth most afflict my mind I went to Court in hope to find Some of my Friends in Place And walking there I had a sight Of all the Crew But by this Light I hardly knew one Face S'life of so many Noble Sparkes Who on their Bodies bear the Markes Of their Integrity And suffer'd Ruin of Estate It was my damn'd unhappy Fate That I not one could see Not one upon my life among My old Acquaintance all along At Truro and before And I suppose the Place can shew As few of those whom thou didst know At Yorke or Marston-moore But truly There are swarms of Those Whose Chins are beardless yet their Hose And Buttocks still wear Muffs Whilst the old rusty Cavaleer Retires or dares not once appear For want of Coyn and Cuffs When none of These I could descry Who better far deserv'd Then I Calmly did reflect Old Services by Rule of State Like Almanacks grow out of date What then can I expect Troth in contempt of Fortunes frown I 'll get me fairly out of Town And in a Cloyster pray That since the Stars are yet unkind To Royallists the King may find More faithful Friends than They. An Eccho to the Cavaleers complaint I Marvel Dick That having been So long abroad and having seen The World as Thou hast done Thou should'st acquaint Me with a Tale As old as Nestor and as stale As That of Priest and Nun Are We to learn what is a Court A Pageant made for Fortunes sport Where Merits scarce appear For bashful