Selected quad for the lemma: death_n
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A60295
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Sir Arthur Haselrig's last will and testament with a briefe survey of his life and death
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1661
(1661)
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Wing S3873; ESTC R12781
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5,469
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12
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Sir Arthur Haselrig's LAST Will and Testament With a briefe SURVEY OF HIS LIFE and DEATH LONDON Printed for Henry Brome and are to be sold at his shop at the sign of the Gun in Ivy-lane 1661. Sir ARTHVR HASELRIG'S LAST VVILL TESTAMENT WITH A briefe Survey of his LIFE and DEATA O Death how unwelcome art thou to a troubled Spirit Is my long hanting after worldly Honour and fishing after Church Lands to inlarge mine Inheritance by an injurious surprizall of others Rights brought to this Precipice Yes most justly that Sacred-secret Synod from which all my sinister Actions have ever peremptorily appealed has justly and irrevocably decreed that ARTHVR who was once such an eminent Champion at the ROUND TABLE should be now deserted nay shamefully stripped of those weak stayes whereon He miserable He in the height of his swelling Fortunes so strongly relyed and imprudently doated Ah me what an eye-sore is this to see Lawn-sleeves rise to their wonted height and my blasted Honour sinking down with contempt into a disconsolate Depth O Bishoprick where in my Regality I so much Soveraigniz'd or as some will have it Tyranniz'd must I now leave thee and leaving thee recommend thee to a Prelacy which was most hated by me Though for pity sake that Prelatical State might retain this opinion of me for otherwise they traduce me highly that I never bore such hate to their Persons as I bore love to their Personages nor such dis-esteem to their Professions as I had and hold ever in my estimate of their Possessions But now my hydroptick Thirst is quenched my earthly desires though much against my will unfortunately sated whence I collect with an heavy eye to what I have left behind me what a vading breath or light blast is this flash of Honour whose overswollen Bladder as it puffs us up living so it stifles us dying But it is high time for me now to recollect my self and look a little back having so small a space left me to look forward I may expect a Funeral but OLIVERS vast excess usher'd in with such scorn and registered with such shame deters me from injoyning too much cost lest my Executor might be enforced to pay more than either the price of my Carcass or the remnant of my forfeited Estate would discharge My Rebellion as this late Synod by cutting and cutting of our late Rump styles it has sufficiently all the world over proclaimed me Bankrupt it would grieve me to leave my Heir protested against for a Vessel of crumbled Dust which I am confident will be accompanied by more Fiends than Friends more Followers than Mourners so as in this case a Rope of strong-sented Onions would do excellent service for enforcing wet-eyes from dry hearts to pump tears with a few feigned fghs to delude the Spectators at my death as my actions under a vizard of zeal bravely though now unfortunately performed all my life On which State-Stage there is none that ever knew Sir ARTHUR but will ingeniously confess to his honour that there was no Shimei of all that Leven who acted his part more politickly nor daringly nor promoted the Interest of the Good Old Cause with more acrimonious fidelity Upon which account though Self-interest turn'd the wheele that steer'd all my Actions I behav'd my self in that posture and manner as I was ever held I appeal to my mortallest enemies if this be not true a most useful and serviceable Instrument to the Antimonarchical Tribe and withall such an endeered Favorite to redoubted OLIVER as his ear was as attentive to me as it was ever to his close faithful Cuâ— St. Johns till he found my averseness from King-ship whereto his vast ambition subtilely aspired Mean time though I stood ever a profest enemy unto Monarchy I appeared a constant Zealot for a Pentarchy A Fift-Monarchy-Man I was cordially whose Spirits now when I am dying sound in mine ears mortally stirring though my short Lease of Life will prevent me from partaking the issue of that fair Quarrel Sure I am Phanatick heat will not be quenched without much blood This our dislaughtered Complices who lately sacrificed their active lives with undaunted valour to the hands of the common Executioner expected which my brother HARRISON gave a touch of at his death saying I see the Lord will not appear to us this day But discontents must not be so cured Our trusty Phanaticks hope a day will come which seeing my weak divining Spirit cannon prefine it I unwillingly leave to those that shall live to see it And no doubt but the discontented Party seconded by our baffled Reformades and desperate Decoys of our late disbanded Army may find our impregnant City a ready Foster-Mother to nurse these distempers in her ranting Racketers besides the winning demureness of our conscientious Anabaptist which will strengthen the Quarrel mainly and make our Phanatick ruffle bravely upon these grounds if not timely diverted which we hope the Liberty of the time will slowly look into there is small doubt to be made but this teeming age may breed as many John Leydons apt to design a fresh massacre in every circumstance equal to that memorable one of Munster But to my grief rhough it be not my fortune to be a Spectator of it nor Actor in it my desires are as strong as my faculties weak I shall swell in my wishes dying what I could not atchieve living But leaving these till time shall repent them and posterity become more sensible of them let me petition Death to whose arrest I hold my Fame much indebted for snatching me from the claws of ravenous Dun to respit me a little a very little my words shall be but few because my hours cannot be many and these shall be bestowed on the discovery of my life wherein to unrip my Infirmities I hold it needless seeing the whole Island has been long time Pronotory of them No Court of Record in all Westminster but may bear Record of my restless Passion which these Reverend Judges would usually give way to out of their indulgent favour being highly taken with the erring tumour of my active State-valour though Runaway Downs as the Usurper sometimes twitted me may witness the contrary The sallies and various occurrences of which Field were every way as terrible to me as the encounters of Death now approaching me or Duns dreadful attendance upon my feverish tryal Truth is that in the height of my being as I was generally held a confiding man and one that intended to have his voice and voto bear sway were it right or wrong against all Opposers there was no Plea were it legal or illegal which I pursu'd and expected not a successful issue Neither in the prosecution thereof did I encounter with any affront to my then imperious power more disgustful than from those virulent aspertions thrown upon me by a tart but acute Counsellor whose Coife might authorize him to make bold with me But I am perswaded his
spleen to my Person having before made it my endeavour to bring him within the compass of Delinquency gave more fuel to the fire of his passion than his pretended Zeal to his Client an useful Instrument to his Profession I must confess and the remembrance of it is some Còrosive to me that my acrimony of spirit was so quickened towards that Gentleman his Client as I mortally hated him and by a tedious suit so much did my strength over-top his weakness so exhausted him for challenging his own as I am confident the cure will prove worse than the disease and that the recovery of his Estate will scarcely countervaile the expensive charge of his Suit For after sundry Verdicts returned for him I was no wayes deterred but doubling my Fyles and reviving my Claim wherein I found Saint Johns ever my indulgent Hearer whose joynt assistant I had been in all his designes My resolution was not onely to crush him with my purse whom I could not conquer by the equitable Rule of the Law But out of my vindicative spirit as none more violent nor virulent I publickly vowed to intail that Suit upon my Heir for ever Neither was my quenchless fury onely discovered in this but in aggravating the rackt Compositions of Delinquents amongst which my inveterate spleen was such to a Favorite of the Muses who opposed my demands as I made my self a Party and so by degrees brought him to taste sharply for his folly To enlarge the number and measure of my practis'd insolencies Prophanation of Temples oppression of Tenants extortion in pursuit of Offices shall render me unexemplary to all succeeding ages With which Pressures I grew so daily mired as my Conscience became wholly seered The corroding memory whereof makes me appear ignominious in my self odious to all Upon review of these my Funeral Hearse if any such Decency be admitted me is to expect only dry eyes to accompany it No Mourner unless Squire Dun bemoan his own Interest for not having a hand in putting off my Cloaths But it was my Physitians pious policy by the help of a Clyster to palliate my indangered Fame and for want of a Perpendicular Line to strip him of his Booty I should now dispose of my Estate but our late Reformed State has done me the favour to save me a labour So as I must leave mine Heir with the Chamelion to feed on Air. But my britle Glass is run out not one grain of Sand left to supply the Cruet Wo is me shall I never see Westminster more Must my hopes of a Change be changed into heaps of dust Oh I sink I sink And I feel my earthen thoughts so heavy as they cannot fix on ought that is heavenly A due to all the world O how happy I if I had never known it or had less lov'd it so might I more cheerfully have left it So good night to Sir Arthur With all his debaucht Honour Hic jacet Arthurus terris nunquam rediturus Obrutus ut Curis cognitus arte Furis His Supplement portrai'd to life WOuld you know more of him Take a survey of his Carriage during that too long reign of the Rump where you may hear from all hands in what braving manner this cowardly Cliuias bore himself He would not stick with an insolent shrug to maintain not only Anarchy but flat Apostacy with his Sword Though he was never holden for a Blade-man but such a baffled Spirit as He represented the face of a Christian in nothing more then in an inbred fear to be cudgeled out of his incivility To sundry desperate extreams did his furious Passion ingage Him being in no place secure because in no place constant to himself So factiously active was his Quick-Silver-Brain as his projecting Pate would not suffer him to sleep His nightly devotions were bestowed in devising new Utopian States Principl'd to his own Phanatick Fancie and in setling these so irresolute as the following day never approved what the former day did which rendred him as weak in resolving as he was light in devising He had got the knack of Preaching or Prating rather in Divinity but edified himself least in Rules of Humanity In his beginning being then in his rising he grew so familiar with Oliver as he would not stick by way of Argument to coller with him but the inraged Tygre no sooner furrowed his Front then this feverish Rateun let fall his Crest So soon was his spriteless valour resolved into fear His sleeps were short and those troubled arising from the vapours of an addle Brain wholly disordered But no Dreams struck in his thoughts more terrour than the affrightful visions of a Tippet and a Mitre These call'd him to an Account before his time but having got the Act of Oblivion by heart he took it for a Dream and so the vision vanished He sacrilegiously removed the Altar from B. A. Church to his own House under which to save the charge of a Monument his Lady was after buried And to enlarge his Prophanation he razed down to the ground a beautiful Chappel whose splendor and antiquity might plead a priviledge against the hand of hostility From the ruines whereof he reared to himself a Dining Parler preferring his own licentious humour and secular pleasure before Gods honour And to summe up all in one for should we insist upon all they would require an ample Volume to authorise his Insolencies It is the opinion of many that he died of a Cold Palsey and very likely The proper symptoms or consequent products of a Paraletick distemper Sylv. since the whole course of his life was over-swayed by unsetled Passions Weakness and Levity Near his Death he found more quiet within him because a Lethargy had seaz'd on him So far did his Disease afford him Ease wherein he might justly cry out with that phrentick forlorn Ethnick O that this Distemper would never leave me But like a Lightning before death or a Beamling striking forth before a storm heaving himself up a little and drawing his breath slowly as one approaching near shore after a deep groan fetcht from a burthened soul He shut up all with this sad but suitable farewel I am passing I am passing but I know not whither Oh that I might sojourn here for ever SUPER OSSA Olivari Cromwelli Bradshai Iretoni c. Nuperrimè exhumata condignis Exequiis tradita UT venti sonuere graves à morte Tyranni Murmure conspirant Ossa levata pari Talia si terris formidine plena ministres Qualia tartariis fers Olivare locis Ionis Sulphur erunt spiritus ipse Procellae Portio num sapiunt naribus ista tuis Quas Bradshawus opes quas Ireton sustulit iras Qui sceleris socii suppliciique tui Quid tibi Nauta Blagus quid Pridux Consul equestris Pridus Baxterus Husoniusque Whalus Quam tibi Coetus opem tribuit quam de Styge portam Aperiet reducem Desine claude viam Nulla salus miseris spes nulla relicta salutis Nec tibi nec sociis restituenda quies Seimus ab Inferno concessa Redemptio nulla est Novimus ense tua ferre perinde pati Upon OLIVERS Bones and his two Complices Tyburn'd January 30 1660. FRom the Red-Lyon was this Leopard brought Where He was wont to mount before He fought A fitter Iune could not devised bee For NOL to mount the Sledge to th' Triple Tree Epitaph Here hangs his Trunk whose restless Bones could have No ground but under Tyburn for a Grave First time inshrin'd like to some Brittish King Next with dishonour pendent in a string Two Consorts there appear who hang beside him Being so dear 't were pity to divide them Thus Fate has shred that threed which Fury spun Hang'd without suffering by the hand of Dun. To them ask why these Rebels hang so high Treason mounts higher still then Felony Mourn Mercer Draper with distilling Eyes Or with sad looks instead of Elegies Habits must pay themselves penurious Dick Defrayes all scores how in Arithmetick But heark my Boyes if you have wit to call In time old BESS has stuff to pay you all Protector Praeses Consul Lictorque Tyburnus Funeris officiis succubuere suis Iste parat laqueos laqueis Hi corpora tendunt Lictor ut infligit perfida Turba ruit Ecce consortes scelerumque morum Naribus tetrum pariunt vaporem Traxit ut Dunnus retulit saporem Lerna malorum Lo lo to what corruption Traiters sink Divert your Sense Dun stirs them till they stink No Infection like Rebellion Iack Cutts bemoans this hanging for his Wench Was struck to th' heart by that Rebellious stench So as those Trayters may be counted th' Head Who slaughter'd living and who poys'ned dead For Treason is of that contagious nature No Carrion smells like th' Carcass of a Traiter Redde Sinonem similem per Orbem Subditis trietem Superis prophanum Vel magis cursu temerè ferocem Principis hostem FINIS