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ID Title Author Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) STC Words Pages
A43160 Hic et ubique, or, The humors of Dublin a comedy, acted privately, with general applause / written by Richard Head, Gent. Head, Richard, 1637?-1686? 1663 (1663) Wing H1255; ESTC R15208 45,314 68

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my fate Take life or death or from your love or hate Your most affectionate servant PEREGRINE Cass Peregrine who 's that Jane Don't you remember the Gentleman that you were commending yesterday Cass Thou talkest at randome Jane 'T is the very same Cass Why shud a love me and yet why do I ask that question since I know not well why I love him Jane For what else but for a beautiful face and let me tell you Mrs. you have one that 's tempting enough for so say most Gentlemen that come to our house Oh! I have heard 'em wishing you know what I mean Cass You are too bold huzy pray learn to be silent and that at least will make you seem wiser Jane Indeed Mrs. you wud not only seem so but be really wiser if you wud resolve to make better use of your time had some as many sweet-hearts as you they 'd make more hast to understand what a pretty pleasant life they that are married do enjoy Cass Peace thou talkest idely I find an alteration in me already reads sure this paper contains magick otherwise it could not perswade me to love so suddenly O my freedom I now begin to fear the loss ou 't But let it go to him I 'le not refrain This single loss returns with double gain Exeunt Act 3. Scene 2. Enter Phantastick and Hic ubique HIc Were ever men thus bafled how glad the strumpet was to be rid on 's Phant. Hang her shee 's like the rest of her sex that value men by the quantity of their moneys and not their worth Hic Wud I had again what I 've spent on her twud be now very seasonable to supply my empty pockets Phant. O Sir are you come to that ne're wish for 't if you intend to thrive don't you remember your old maxim Hic Prethee leave off your jeering and lend me a crown Phant. Why then your money 's all gone it seems Hic Yes I may thank you for 't Phant. Nere thank me for the matter but thank your self however ther 's a crown but make no practise of borrowing of mee this is the last time Hic Now y' faith if thou wilt wee l go to th' Tavern agen and I 'le spend it I 'me half drunk already and so art thou Phant. No not I. Hic Then th' art mad Phant. Why Hic thou 'dst ne're have lent me a crown else I conceipt my self now as rich as Craesus Here boy fetch me a quart of sack a short life and a sweet ther 's nothing like it A Pox o'those dull men whose bosoms are fil'd With the doubts of their fortunes and cares May be starve in a Prison that feareth to yield In seasons of plenty his belly a share Let 'em still live in scorn With their money and their corn Till the terrour of sin makes 'em free They are not companions for thee nor for mee Enter boy with Sack So well done sill a brimmer Here 's a health to all those that will never be poor That conquer the frowns of their fates with their wine That will quaff and carouse and never give o're Till their faces by drinking like Comets do shine In these we 'l delight Enter Pouch With these we 'll unite And our happiness still shall endure As long as our company Sack can procure Su. Pouch 'T is very well Gentlemen that you are so merry but I 'de have you remember you did not discharge the large reckoning last night I don 't like this shuffling you can run o th' score in my house and find ready money abroad for the Tavern Gentlemen I can stay no longer my Brewer must be paid and my Baker has been here to day for money Phant. As for your Brewer he may be an honest fellow but hang your Baker I have nothing to do with him but pray what is it I 'me engaged to you Su. Pouth Since you paid me last 't is just twenty five shillings four pence 'T will be long enough before you Mr. Hic will ask how much you owe and if you did I think 't is much at one for you never intend to pay as far as I can see I ne're saw a penny of your money yet and that which is worse I know not when I shall had I known you 'd have roar'd and ranted so much you shud have sought your lodging some where else Besides I doubt you have both been too familiar with my maid Dorothy I examin'd her upon her crying out last night and she confest that you were both uncivil and did I 'me asham'd to tell what wud I had been in her place I de have taught you to have medled with a woman again after that manner Hic And for ever after made us hate the cry of kitchin stuff for thy sake Prithee good butter-barrel don't think to melt thy self by our fire thou Tun of Heydleberg thy bunghole's so big that I am afraid to come near it lest falling therein I hazard a drowning Had Garagantua liv'd thou mightst have taught him without much endangering of him to have kneaded dough in thy trough Phant. Could a man have but seen 'em in conjunction the resemblance had been to nothing more proper than the Ox at St. James's fair roasted whole with a Pudding in his belly Hic Come Landlady I have more charitable thoughts than to think thee a because thy age wants temptation But I 'me sure not hot inclination but as for cheating and extortion two excellent moral vertues they 've qualified thee for a shee-saint of thy profession Su. Pouch But that I am patient and not given to the language of Billingsgate I would say that thou art a son of the Whore of Babylon to abuse an honest woman of my sort thou spawn of Iniquity vile vain Vilainous Raskal 'T is no wonder thou should'st thus scoff at me thy self being so handsome come up here thou maggot fac't fellow thy hose wu'd serve for a hand-saw Get thee a lookinglass and there thou shalt see the Image of Nebuchadnezzar newly come from grass away foh thou stink'st of superstition there 's something in thy face that bears the resemblance of a prophane large wrought Christmass candle Hic This won't do I must cog her into a better humour Aside Honest Landlady I was but in jest all this while only to try your temper to be serious what you find fault withall shall speedily be amended as for what I owe you my bills of exchange which I expect by every post are enough to satisfie you ten times over and so here 's to ye she Drinks nay y'faith Drink 't off Phant. Come le ts be merry Hic Boy call in the musick I sent for my Land-Lady and I must have a Daunce Su. Pouch I can't Daunce I 'me old but when I was yong I could have footed it to the horn-pipe with the best of ' em Hic Nay then I durst swear you han't forgot it They Dance
therefore don't repeat it lest I make thee a companion for subterian spirits Hic Thou hadst best if tha 'st a minde to be hang'd Phant. What for killing an Elfe or an Ass Hic No I mean thou durst as well be hang'd as draw Phant. I 'le try that drawes Hic Nay have at ye then drawes Phant. Murder Murder Mrs. Hope Help Help Enter Kiltory and Patrick Kilt What Draw upon a woman cowardly villians draws what your intent tell me quickly or this all-piercing stell shall set your bloods abroach Hic Sir We came not to injure the Gentlewoman Mrs. Hope Sir They are both my servants and 't is Jelousy that occasions 'em to quarrel Kilt Madam I shud think such poor spirited fellowes deserve not the honour of that title Mrs. Hope I thing so too Sir I was forc't to entertain 'em because I knew not how to be rid of ' em Kilt Madam I 'le quickly do you that courtesie and by so doing I may pleasure my self her beauty hath already captivated me aside Villians Expect not the honour to fall by my hands Patrick go cut their throats Patr. For fuat joy to put the Kill upon my shelf Kilt Go sirrah or I 'le cut your's turns to Mrs. Hopewel Patr. O yea for Christis shake make help for my shelf moyster or else poor Kilpatrick will be made Kil upon Kilt To provoke cowards too much is the way to make 'em desperate Beats 'em of sirrah did not you tell me you cud fight upon that account I entertain'd you Patr. Yes feat at cuff or skean Kilt None serves me but those that durst blow in a charged pistol and valew a sword no more than a cudgel Patr. See for this by got a chree he wu'd put some lead in my belly but there was no sharge powder upon the pishtol he did make intention to cut off my head feat Kilt Be gone I shall talk with you some other time Madam shu'd I say I love you from this interview you wu'd condemn me as rash but blame me not if your beauty commands me to be yours eternally May I request the great favour as to know your lodging Mrs. Hope It deserves not your knowledge Your pardon Sir Exit Kilt Follow her sirrah and see where she houses and bring me word at the three Tunns If she disdainful proves then I 'le give ore 'T is but the second I will court no more Finis Actus secundi Act 3. Scene 1. Enter Contriver and Cassandra Contr. MAdam I hope the fervency of my love will in some measure excuse the boldness of my intrusion since the time that I first saw you I have been extreamly impatient and the force of my imagination was so strong as to make me conceit every minute of Delay to be a compleat day till I had found out an opportunity to make you acquainted with the reality of my affections Cassand And pray Sir what do you propose to your self now you have found it Contr. I shall in part ease my self of a great load of love that lies on my heart Cassand Pray Sir if that be all disburthen your self quickly charity commands me to give you my attention if that will do you good Contr. Very much if you 'l let my penetrating expressions sinke into the hollow recesses of your heart Cass I can't promise you that for I know not what you mean every word you speak to me is an Hieroglyphick or some forraign language which will require an Interpreter Contr. Then Madam I 'le be my own and unriddle that Emblem which seemingly puzzles you so much to understand I love you and that in so great a measure that were the quintescence of all love contracted together it could not exceed mine Cassand I 'me sorry that you have shot your Arrows at the wrong mark your hopes have mistaken their lodging and you have cast Anchor in a bootless harbour Contr. Pray don't say so I have a stronger faith than to be mov'd with such customary denials which your politick sex still defends themselves withal when the forlorn hope of their affection receives it's first incounter Lady you are flesh blood and can't be out-law'd from the Court of Love though your beauty birth and education may advance the verge of your thoughts to a far higher fortune than my self Yet I question not but the strength constancy of my Love may ballance it Cass Sir your eagerness puts me in mind of a common saying that what is violent is not permanent every days experience informs us that hot love grows soon cold yet what I speak is but by hear-say for as the tenderness of my years may perswade any that I am unacquainted with Love-affairs the same argument may make you know that I understand not your amorous discourse Cont. The many examples of younger matches are enough to sway down the subtil evasions of your sophistical arguments Cass Ther 's no contradicting you for they say men have the art of perswading women contrary to their own beliefs though for my own part I think I am proof against it as designing my affections to be guided by my Parents will and pleasure Contr. Were I but assur'd of your consent I am confident of your Fathers assent and then there can be no remora or impediment to our conjunction Cass Excuse me Sir the world is now grown very deceitful therefore 't is requisite I advise with my self consult you as you please with my Father Contr. The result of which I hope will tend to your lasting contentment exit Cass I never yet cud give a reason for Antipathy as soon as I saw him methought of all men living I lov'd him least Enter Jane How now what 's the matter with you Jane The matter Mrs. I believe I have matter enough in my hand for you O the sweetest Gentleman I think in my conscience that ever lay by a womans side Cass What ar't mad Wench Jane Yes and so w'ud you too had you seen what I did Cass What was that Jane I tell you the finest Gentleman I warrant 'a has Cass 'T is no matter what a has but what of him Jane He gave me a Letter and enjoin'd me to deliver it to your own hands Cass A Letter for mel sure th' art mistaken Jane Will you believe your own eies delivers it Cass These for that matchless piece of beauty Mrs. Cassandra Thrivewel 'T is a fair title I 'le see if the contents correspond reads Madam How well did nature in her plots contrive A way to keep her own prerogative By the sweet Edicts of her subtil Law Pride quakes and savage creatures stand in awe Them Man commands and makes their fury fall But Woman Natures wonder conquers all I that have felt the tempers of each Zone And know most climates better than my own Cu'd never love till your commanding Eies Shot schorching flames and did my soul surprize I am your Captive therefore must