Kingdome to wit when all thy desires shall bee satisfied both in praising and loving mee and when I shall bee all iâ— all Therefore it is that â—hou justly cravest and justly with thy whole heart deâ—irest in that Prayer which I gave â—hee Let thy Kingdome come Wherefore O daughter if thou lovest mee rightly â—aithfully fervently thou wilt desire with all thine heart this Kingdome that is this state or condition for this with sighs thou wilt pray to wit that my Kingdome may come wherein thou maist with most sweet love bee to mee united wholly in mee melted and molded And because as I said before this cannot come to passe but by death therefore this Death which is the gate and passage to life is to my Saints in desire and life in patience Hence thou seest how a soule perfectly loving mee feareth not death For whath hath such a Soule to lose by exchange of this miserable-unhappy life but the staâ—e of sinning snares of offending occasions of ruine deceits of enemies self-frailty feares with other innumerable Occurrents which straiten the Soule either ignorâ—â—t or weake or luke-warme not to speake here of the dangers of the body and therefore alwayes fainting and falling Manythings here would the soule have which shee ought not or which she even knowes nor though shee would have them Many things would shee which she cannot In many things is the soule ignorant blind and walking among Snares or in darknesse whence shee knows not how to free her selfe How then may shee not worthily wish how not rejoyce that shee is delivered from these sorrowes and dangers Why therefore O Soule doest thoâ— feare why dost thou not desire death For tell mee what evill shall death bring unto thee If thou fearest nothing in this world death can take nothing from thee If thou love any thing in this world it is with danger yea thou lovest thine owne danger Cease therefore to love the world before death that thou maist nothing at all feare death Furthermore if thou love me onely in this life joy for that thou shalt dye for that thou shalt never enjoy what thou lovest before thou dye But I know what thou fearest Truly thou lovest nothing in this world thou possessest nothing which thou wouldst not lose or grievest to lose yet feare and terror surprize thee because thou knowest not whether thou beest worthy of love or hate thou knowest not how thou art to bee entertained by mee whether to rest or punishment O daughter thou oughtst not to bee too curious after the knowledge of these things yea it is not expedient for thee to know them Stand constantly although thou feare in hope and affiance both living and dying set thy rest upon mee Thou canst not live well of thy selfe neither canst thou dye well of thy selfe Thou hast both from mee What if I shall give thee grace to live holily shall I not also give thee grace to die happily Seeing thou hast all things from mee expâ—ctâ—â— all things of mee how canâ—â— thou expect the one and despaire of the other Of thy selfe thou canst neither live well nor dye well Put thy trust thâ—reâ—ore in mâ— cast thy thought upon mee ground all thy feare and care upon mee As thou canst resist no tentation avoid no sinne living so neither dying If I forsake thee noâ— living if I faithfully prevent tentation and moderate it in thy life that thou maist beare it I am ready to doe the very same unto thee at thy death that thou maist vanquish it Never goe to fight with thine owne weapons but rely on mee If thou rely on mee I will fight for thee And if thou have mee fighting with thee and for thee what hast thou to feare who art nothing of thy selfe And as concerning the condition or quality of death feare nothing There is no kind of death that can hurt the just for the just man with what death soever hee shall bee surprized shall bee at rest Wherefore let it trouble thee nothing whether thou die at home or abroad in thy bed or in thy field neither art thou to feare whether the death bee naturall or violent which takes thee away For if one kind of death were more unhappy than another all my Saints surely were most unhappy the most part whereof in times past in the judgement of the world and eye of flesh most unhappily ended this life Which of mine holy Martyrs dyed a naturall and timely death Whom hath not the violence of the Crosse racke fire or sword extinguished Nothing therefore shall it hurt thee whether thou dyest of the plague or an apoplexy or any other kind of death in the bed or in the field Onely watch that thou maist bee found in faith hope and charity and no death or kinde of Buriall shall harme thee But forasmuch as speaking to thee I likewise speake to them who are as yet imperfect in my love I advise you all in this that yee love innocence and hate iniquity If thou hast at any time sinned what Soule soever thou bee cease grieve repent that thou hast sinned so long as thou livest Yet so repent if thou wishest to thy selfe a fruitfull repentance that thou returne not againe to thy sins or to thy former state of sinning Alwayes expect death and prepare thy self for it as if thou wert at this very present to dye But lest some devout institution should be waÌ„ting to the weake in spirit by which supported they may learne in some sort how to dye I will adde something more to these First therefore thou oughtest to remember what mine Apostle saith and what Truth it selfe speaketh Yee have not here an abiding City but ye seâ—ke for one that is to come unto which here in this world no otherwise than in a journey yee walke as Pilgrimes Now your Pilgrimage is ended when your life is clozed Death therefore is the very last line running betwixt this exile wherein yee are and the Countrey whereto yee goe so as there is no other gate by which yee may passe from this valley of your Pilgrimage and enter your Countrey your heavenly inheritage but by death Death then most certainly doth wait for you like as a most certaine end is limited to your life But this difference there is betwixt the good and evill that here in your Pilgrimage yee all travaile mixtly all I say albeit not all in a right way yee long after your blessed Countrey all yee so long as yee are in your journey although yee wander may returne unto the true way But when yee shall come to the end of your journey in the gate it selfe that is at the point of death yee are discerned that Some of you may passe from exile unto life others to misery and eternall death It is not then lightly to bee considered nor negligently observed how every one is to bee prepared before death come For there yee leave all things after you in which
man is composed and compacted by so much more difficulty and violently is he dissolved hence it appeareth that the separation of my body and soule was more painfull than the death of others Also my blessed flesh by how much more it was freer from all spot or blemish of sin by so much also it became more sensible of torments Now concerning my Spirituall martyrdome which I suffered in my Soule as I said before unto thee it began at such time as I was first conceived in the wombe of my mother or that my Soule was infused into my body and continued without intermission 33. yeeres and a halfe till such time as my Soule was separated from my body upon the Crosse. So as I became a Martyr even in the Wombe of my Mother Wherfore I was not so much as one moment without the most bitter martyrdome of my Spirit Because whatsoever I suffered in the Night when I was taken or the Day following when I was slaine in mocking reviling spitting nayling and stretching upon the Crosse c. This throughly and wholly my most holy Soule long before suffered But thou art especially to consider that those dolorous piercing darts of the Virgin my blessed mother became the excessivest Object of my sorrowes who having a tender and respective eye to all my dolours in perfect Charity as became the condition of her motherly excellency so much grieved for my sorrowes as was sitting for such a woman to grieve And all the sorrowes of my Mother continually wounded my mind So as my Mothers Crosse ministred unto mee a new Crosse. Another Object of my continuall sorrow was all those martyrdomes which were at any time done or to bee done upon any of mine Elect for me So as in very truth I say unto thee that all those paines griefes tribulations persecutions and miseries which any man was to suffer or should suffer aswell in body as in soule from Adam even to the very last man that shall bee borne to the end of the World all these I suffered alwayes in my Soule must fully and through my compassion they did more hurt me and more sharply grieve me than any mans corporall paine which hee actually suffereth ever personally did And there are two causes which give sufficient testimony of the truth hereof One is because I in the glasse or mirrour of my Divinity did behold all things created and to bee created things past present and to come which were to me present And I from the very first instant of the infusion of my Soule into my Body began alwayes to observe till such time as I gave up my Ghost upon the Crosse all the paines which I was to endure and whatsoever all my Elect from the beginning of the world had at any time suffered and such as being not yet borne were to suffer even to the end of the world all this I suffered in the inferiour faculties of my Soule And in each of these was I more inwardly and grievously tormented in my Spirit than any one could be in his owne proper body at such time as hee is to suffer tortures or torments Another cause which procured so great paine in my Spirit was abundant love For love begetteth griefe and heavinesse in the spirit So as by how much thy love towards me was more intensive or greater by so much more is thy soule tormented with my Death and Passion And because I have alwaies and above comparison loved thee and every man more than hee can love himselfe therefore have I suffered greater paine than all that which any one hath ever suffered upon earth or was to suffer or shall suffer to the end of the world Thou knowest that when Paul had consented to the death and stoning of Stephen and did persecute Christians I said unto him Saul Why persecutest thou me And yet he persecuted not me in my owne proper person but in the persons of my beloved friends because what good or evill soever befalleth my friends befalleâ—h me And this proceedeth from the great love which I beare unto men Thus therefore maist thou consider how and by what meanes my Passion exceeded in paine the passions of all that ever suffered or shall suffer because I suffered both in my Body and Soule and that immaculate and by nature delicate and for so long time to wit for thirty foure yeeres did I suffer martyrdom in my Spirit both for my selfe and all my Elect. Laurence in one night was broyled on a gridiron Bartholomew in one day was slaine Katherine in one houre was broken on a Wheele c. All these tortures never hurt any one of them so much in their owne bodies as they tormented me in my Soule for thirty foure yeeres Whence Isay Truly he hath suffered for our infirmities and borne our sorrowes And therefore I could never laugh but often weepe appearing as one of forty yeeres when I was scarce thirty Which came to passe by reason of the continuall Justice which I incessantly bore for my Passion that was to come and the suffering of my Elect which I alwaies clearly beheld and painfully suffered by strength of imagination Whereupon I oftimes said unto my Father Many are my grones and my heart is sorrowfull To thee likewise doe I say that thou maist bee moved with compassion and affection towards mee that my life is waxen old with heavinesse and my yeeres with mourning Sinner Surely O my good Jesu as I have heard and understood no conceit can sufficiently apprehend the depth of those anguishes and sorrowes of thy most holy Soule nor griefes and passions of thy Body But a very deepe question doth trouble my mind to wit how heavinesse paine or anguish could befall thy blessed soule seeing it was alwaies in great joy through Contemplation of thy Divinitie which was so amiable to behold that if the damned in Hell could but behold the amiable countenance of God as the blessed Spirits doe in the Kingdome of Heaven they could bee tormented by no griefe nor heavinesse either by the fire of hell or sight of the Devils in hell Christ. It is true that my pure and blessed soule was glorified albeit my Body was mortall For my Soule from the very instant of her conception and ever after even when I was upon the Crosse was as glorious and in as great joy and delight in respect of her superiour faculties as she is at this day in heaven sitting at the right hand of God my Father But in respect of her inferiour faculties she was in a continuall and incessant heavinesse and sorrow for the causes aforesaid Which could not bee by course or order of Nature that in one and the selfe-same soule together and at once there should be so great joy and so great heavinesse for this was miraculous and supernaturall Because according to the course of nature joy and delight doe expell sorrow and griefe so as they cannot suffer together in one and the
even that Sunne whereof it is said unto you that feare the Lord shall the Sunne of righteousnesse arise health shall be under his wings and whereof the proud and wicked shall say The light of righteousnesse hath not shined unto us and the Sunne of understanding rose not upon us Hee shall bee our Summer Now fruits in Winter time appeare not in the root Thou observest how dry Trees are in winter He that knows not the observation of these things prunes the dry Vine before the fruit come and perchance next Spring it becomes so dry as it brings forth neither flower nor fruit when it should come Both these are alike in winter this liveth that is dead But the life of this and the death of that are both in secret The Summer approacheth life appeareth in this death is discovered in that Beauty of leaves precedeth plenty of fruit succeedeth the Vine is attired with that beauty in her leafe which she retains in her root Therefore my Brethren we are now while we are here in our condition like other men Like as they are borne eat drinke live and are cloathed and so passe over their life even so the Saints Sometimes doe these things deceive men whence it is they say Behold since this man became a Christian did his head never ake Or now being a Christian enjoyes hee more than I doe O dry Vine Thou observest the Vine planted neere thee how naked it is in winter but never how dry it is by heat of summer The Lord our beauty will come who lay hid in the root and then will He exalt the horne of his people after this our captivity wherin we mortally live Whence it is that the Apostle saith Iudge nothing before the time untill the Lord come who will lighten things that are hid in darknesse and then shall everie man have praise of God But thou wilt say where is any root where is any fruit If thou beleevest thou knowest where thy root is For there it is where thy Faith is where thy Hope and Charity is Heare the Apostle for yee are dead They appeared as it were dead in winter Heare how they live And your life is hid saith he with Christ in God Behold where thou hast thy root When then shalt thou bee adorned with beauty When shalt thou be multiplied in fruit Heare what followeth When Christ which is our life shall appeare then shall yee also appeare with him in glory THE Soules Jubilee Gathered from Saint Augustine in his Tract Upon the 85. Psalme Upon these words Rejoyce the Soule of thy servant for unto thee ô Lord doe I lift up my Soule For thou Lord art good and mercifull of great kindnesse unto all them that call upon thee REjoyce the Soule of thy Servant Rejoyce her because unto thee do I raise her She was in earth and in earth shee felt bitternesse Now lest she should pine away through bitternes and so lose all thy gracious sweetnesse I have raised her up unto thee Rejoyce her with thee For thou onely art joyfulnesse the World is full of bitternesse Surely very rightly doth he exhort his members that they have their hearts on high Let them then heare it doe it let them lift that up unto heaven which is in an evill state while it is upon Earth For there the heart doth not corrupt if it be lifted up unto God If you have corne in low places lest it should corrupt you remove it higher doe you then seeke to prepare a place for your corne and will you suffer your heart to corrupt on Earth you remove your corne to an higher room lift up your heart unto heaven But how may I doe this will you say What Cords what Pulleis what Ladders are needfull These staires are thy affections thy way is thy will By loving thou ascendest by neglecting thou descendest Standing on Earth thou art in Heaven if thou love God For the heart is not lifted as the body is raised The body that it may be raised changeth her place but the heart that it may be roused changeth her will For unto thee O Lord doe I lift up my soule for thou Lord art good and mercifull therefore rejoyce her As one wearied and tediously affected with the bitternesse of earthly things shee desires to bee sweetned and hath sought the fountaine of sweetnesse but could not find it on earth For what way soever she turned herselfe she found scandals tribulations feares tentations In what man living safe security Of whom certaine joy And if not of himselfe how much lesse from another For either men are evill and of necessity wee must suffer them yet hoping withall that they may be changed or they are good and so wee ought to love them yet fearing withall lest they become evill because they may be changed There the wickednesse of those begetteth bitternesse of soule here care and feare equally surprize us lest hee fall away from us who walked sometime uprightly among us What way soever then the heart shall turne her she findes bitternesse in earthly things shee has not wherewithall to sweeten her unlesse shee lift her selfe up unto God her Maker For thou Lord art good and mercifull What is this mercifull Thou supportest mee till thou perfectest me For truly my Brethren I will speak as a man unto men and of men Let every one bring hither his heart and behold himselfe without flattering and without glozing Nothing is foolisher than flattering seducing ones self Let every one then consider and see what and how many things are acted in mans heart and how for most part our very praiers are hindred by various thoughts so as our hearts will scarcely stand firme before God It desires so to enjoy it selfe that it may stand and in some sort it flyes from it selfe yet for all this it findes no lettices by which it may confine her thoughts or barres by which it may restraine her distractions and wandring motions and stand joyfully before her God Rare it is that a prayer should occurre devoutly fixt amongst so many prayers Now every one would say that what befalleth him befalleth not another unlesse we found in the Sacred Scripture of God that David in one place prayed and said O Lord I have found my heart that I may pray unto thee Hee said hee had found his heart as if it used sometimes to fly from him and he to pursue it as a fugitive and could not lay hold on it and to cry unto the Lord My heart hath forsaken me Therefore Brethren considering what hee here saith Thou art good and mercifull I conceive that for this cause he cals him a mercifull God for that hee suffereth these things in us and yet expecteth prayer from us that hee might perfect his good work in us And when we have given it him by offering our oblation of prayer unto him hee receiveth it freely and heareth it friendly
pusillanimity to be dejected to contemplate the examples of me and my Saints to commend thy selfe to the prayers and exhortations of good men to give way to my inward and divine inspirations to exercise prayer and holy reading never to admit of idlenesse to love silence and retirednesse These and such like doe change the naughtinesse of the mind and chase away the feare of death When thou shalt come in the end of every day say thus to thy selfe Now is my life become shorter by one day Earely when thou risest say thus to thy selfe O Gracious God now am I nearer to death by one Night An Exercise whereby earely or whensoever thou willest thou maist poure out thy heart unto God for a good death O Omnipotent eternall God my Creator and Lover I praise laud adore and blesse thee for that thou so mercifully and patiently hast suffered mee groveling in my sins and my unthankfulnes even unto this houre to which thou of thy goodnesse hast brought mee enriching me with thy benefits conferring this life with things necessary for this life upon me with an angelicall guardian protecting me and inlarging towards mee thy mercy who am injuriously â—nworthy and a spectacle of misery Ah gracious God who knoweth whether the terme of my life shall be proâ—ogued to the evening O what death shall I desire O â—ost mercifull Lord God and Father give unto mee contrition whereby with all mine heart I may bewaile my sins and my offending thee And doe not suffer my soule to goe forth from her bodie till she be reconciled to thee in mercy adopted to thee by grace adorned with thy merits and vertues inflamed with most perfect charitie and accepted according to thy all-good-will and pleasure O most gracious Lord Jesu Christ if this I desire of thee do please thee grant it unto me although I bee most unworthy to bee heard of thee grant unto me I beseech thee for thine infinite mercies and the merits of thy passion that I may bee purged in this life from all my sins that dying and through vehement and true contrition pricked and in most ardent charitie to thee united I may goe out unto thee my most sweet Redeemer being forthwith freed and secured from all damnation and future affliction Notwithstanding O most loving Jesu I doe offer and resigne my selfe unto thee whether it be to poverty penury or any other extremitie for thy glories sake according to thy good-will and pleasure beseeching thee only this that thou wouldst bee mindfull of my frailty vilenesse weaknesse and misery as also of thy goodnesse and charity that thou wouldest never forsake mee nor depart from mee but that thou wouldst alwayes wholly governe and possesse mee according to thy good pleasure Amen An oblation of Christ and his merits to his Father O Omnipotent most gracious Father I doe offer unto thee all those pains dolours reproches stripes and rebukes all adversities extremities and labours of thine onely begotten Jesu Christ the Lambe immaculate which hee suffered in his body for me likewise all his actions and every of his members afflicted for me his bloud shed for me and with prophane feet trampled also his most noble and devout Soule separated from his lovely Body for me his merits likewise and infinite vertues Likewise the powers or faculties of his Soule and body and all those vitall parts in him given up unto death for mee albeit inseparably united to his Divinity yea the whole Christ thy blessed Sonne God and man omnipotent and infirme despicable and glorious doing wonders and hanging upon the Crosse these I say doe I offer unto thy sacred Majesty to the expiation and satisfaction of all my sins and of all the world and to the mortification and extinction of all mine evill passions affections and vices to the supply of all my negligences and to thy praise and thanksgiving for all thy benefits O God be mercifull unto me a miserable sinner for his sake Have mercy on mee for the love of Jesu Christ thy beloved Son THE DYING mans Diary Or A Christians Memento mori Divided into a five dayes Exercise THere are who all the yeare long present the figure and feature of Death before them by some certaine Exercise and prepare themselves no otherwise for death than if they were even then to dye and that for the space of five dayes continually The first day they meditated of the griefes infirmities which goe before death and horrour of death unto all which they resigne themselves The next day they thinke of their â—ins confessing them with so great diligence and intention as if they were to dye presently after their confession Therefore they spend this day in sighs and teares The third day they come unto the blessed Eucharist with all the fervour they may receiving it as their Viaticum in their passage from this their exile The fourth day they make continuall supplications unto God for the unction of the Holy Spirit whereby they might be illuminated and the hardnesse of their hearts mollified And this they do as it were for extreme unction The fifth day they become most fervent Supplicants unto God for a spirituall death wherby they may perfectly dye to the world to themselves and live with God And to everie of these dayes may be applyed proper Psalmes and Prayers as also divine invocations giving of thanks for all benefits conferred by God upon them all their life long Profitable Counsell for one approaching neare the point of death O Daughter seeing thy selfe in this extremitie prepare thy soule for God so order and dispose here in thy life time of thy goods temporall that after thy death no difference nor debate may arise It is most profitable for thee to dispose of thy goods in thy life time and to redeeme thy sins whilest thou livest with works of mercie Whatsoever thou wouldest recommend to others to doe for thee labour to doe it of thy selfe For if after death thou go to eternall torment the Provision of a Will a pompous Funerall Almes and Doales after death what will these availe thee when thou art damned Offer these Oblations to me now whilest thou art living that thou mayest not onely be delivered from thy sins but by increasing in my grace never fall into damnation but by my preventing grace preserving thee from sin persevere in good works even to the end When death draweth neare see that thou wholly free thy selfe then from all unnecessarie cares and imployments strive to meet me immaculately affectionately faithfully promising nor presuming nothing of thy works but through my assured mercie to obtaine Salvation And in this faith committing and commending thy selfe and all thou hast in this world to my providence and good pleasure receive the Sacraments humbly and devoutly Those peculiar priviledges and graces also which have power in them through my merits and are given by mee as a treasure unto the Church albeit many oft-times abuse them
such a Guest And though every pusse every blast threaten her fall yet hopes shee with a little repairing to hold out still Foolish flesh if thou lov'st that Guest as thou professest why doest thou lodge her under such rotten tarrases For whilest thou keep'st her in that crazie Cottage thou hold'st her from a princely Palace ' Las shee came to thee not to bee a Dweller but a Sojourner Give her leave then to goe home againe for in a strange Land is shee while shee lodges with thee O but I heare thee answer This Stranger if you please to style him so is as loth to part with mee as I with her Is it so poore Soule hast thou wallowed so long in mire or encamped so long in these shades or shrouds of clay as thou beginnest to bee enamoured of them and never remove from them Is it so that thou hast beene such a long stranger in thy owne Countrey as thou hast quite forgot it or carâ—st not much if thou never see it H 'as the life of a Souldier so taken thee or the straying libertie of a Pilgrim so seaz'd upon thee as thou preferrest a wandring life before a setled being in thy Countrey Woe is mee for thee But 'pray thee tell mee what is it that hath so woo'd and wonne thee from thy first Love O I heare thee or that false Idumite which holds thee cry out O must I leave my Friends Honours Pleasures and Possessions Yes thou must leave and lose all Thy Friends and Honours may perchance accompany thee to â—hy Grave but there they will leave thee and for thy Pleasures and Possessions they will not doe thee that graâ—e to attend thee to thy grave â—â—r before thou come there â—hey have vow'd to leave thee These are strong stayesâ—o â—o depend on faire props to rely on firme foundations to build on I see then Languishing Soule what it is that holds thee Thou either griev'st to lose what thou here lovest or feares to feele there what thou for thy sinne deservest O my Soule by this may any one gather that thou hast beene a constant worldling For if thou hadst possessed the things of this life without loving of them thou wouldst easily lose them without grieving for them Seeing whatsoever without love we enjoy without griefe we forgoe But stay a little stay a very little and with patiâ—nce heare mee Be not O bee not so fast glued to Earth that thy thoughts become loosened from Heaven I know well it is thy Flesh which thus disquiets thee It is shee who suggesteth these things to thee Wrastle then with her and give her the foile it is better that shee faile than thou fall Tell her oh tell her For this will charme her Those worldly Friends on whom shee so much relyes can neither deliver themselves nor her from Death They may professe much and vow to intercede for her to any Prince or Potentate breathing while shee is living flesh but dying they will leave her for a prey to her Brothers and Sisters And all their friendly teares will be then dried up Sorrow takes quickly a Surfet in the Funerall of her dearest Friend His poore corps is with earth no sooner covered than their Time-love becomes discovered These be the shadowes wherewith our Flesh-flyes are deluded They may remember us sometimes while wee live on earth but they soone forget us when wee are laid in earth Aske her then will shee be stayd by these friends of which Time makes shadowes or injury profest foes Secondly if Friends have not in them such firme dependence as to promise any assurance hopes shee from Honours to receive any sure footing or continuance No tell her these are of all temporary blessings most various and dangerous Various in respect of the Object from whence shee receives them being man and consequently apt enough upon the least occasion to change his minde And dangerous in respect of those corrivals and privie underminers whose highest taske it is to bring these Favourites into disgrace O how happie had many beene had they never knowne what Honour meant For as it incumber'd them living so it distracted them dying exposing them to many dangers both living and dying Aske her then will shee bee staid by these Honours which can neither privilege her from death nor comfort her at the houre of death nor secure her after death Thirdly if shee bee thus forsaken of all her Honours what can she expect from Pleasures Laâ— These long since left her when Age seaz'd on her and thrice happy shee had shee left them before they left her If there bee pleasure in cramps and aches her weake decrepit limbes retaine stilâ— a memory of them These she h'as constantly to attend her nor vow they to leave her till the cold Earth receive her For now those Ivory-beds Carpets and Laces are but as so many racks and tortures to her when shee remembers them All these have left her in paine and if shee taste pleasure in that may she long enjoy it But thouâ—h those more active pleasures have wholly left her shee sees her Buildings and to leave them and to whom shee knowes not it deepely grieves her Those pleasant walkes which with the helpes both of Art and Nature shee so carefully contrived those shadie delightfull Arbours wherein shee so retiredly and contentedly reposed Those silent Groves christall Springs dainty Refectories wherein shee so delightfully sported bathed banquetted must she lose all these and for a cover of mouldred earth wherein all her beautie lyes buried It must bee so there is no remedie the cold earth must receive her perished beautie Nor should the losse of all these grieve her seeing these were so confined to time as they could promise no constancie to her Yea they deserved rather to bee loathed than loved seeing the Sight of them too often estranged her thoughts from Him that made them Aske her then where bee all those who sometimes enjoyed these pleasures to the full Where those Objects wherein they delighted Looke Reade Their Memories are as Letters written in dust Their glorious Buildings have lost the Names of their founders They sleepe in their earth but that Account sleepeth not which they mnst render for their vanities on earth Fourthly seeing her forepast pleasures have wholly left her but the bitter remembrance of the abuse of them stayes with her the sweetnesse of the one being spent but the bitternesse of the other left what content may shee finde in her Possessions the Worldlings Minions 'Las nothing these are tane from her and bestowed on another Shee is now to goes to her long home and another is to possesse her dwellings Though here shee held passing of time a meere pastime and a large possession the Sole Solace of a Worldling now she findes enough of Earth in a very smal portion of it No matter now whether her Granars be enlarged her Revenues increased her Treasures slored These be none of hers The
fulfill thee throughout that Where sin hath abounded grace likewise may superabound Yet I would beloved I would be trusted I would with sighs and teares be intreated than which no sweeter melody can unto me be tendred Sinner O my crucified JESU I know I am dearer to thee than I am to my selfe for to thee I am alwayes deare who as it is written Lovest all things that are and hatest nothing of those which thou hast made But man is not alwaies equally deare to himselfe as he is unro thee because hee that loveth iniquity hateth his ownâ— soule Christ. This have I shewn in the continuall sorrowes of my whole cruâ—ified life For I received the Crosse of my Passion in the Womb of my mother and continually bore it in my heart and confirmed it with much austerity in my body So as that I might purposely shew the unmeasurablenesse of the sorrowes of my soule my finall passion then approaching it was my will to sweat blood thorow all my members and that which lay hid as a secret of my crucifying from the wombe of my Mother with sensible signes to reveale to my faithfull ones which seemed fittest to be at my passage and poinâ— of death Sinner I conceive my good JESU how in that bloudy sweat with which thou wert deep-died and engrained in all thy members thy blessed soule wholly suffered because it is whole in every part of the body yea and the very life of the body But tell me what thou requirest of me for so great anguish continually sustained for me Christ. Onely to love me againe For to this end have I suffered my passion that I might purchase thy affection Sinner Surely most worthy art thou to bee loved because thou art good in thy selfe and none good but God alone And because thou art the Lord delivering from the power and slavery of the Devill And because thou art God forgiving sinnes which none forgiveth but God alone And because thou lovest those that love thee Whence it is that thou sayest I love those that love mee And because thou hearest those that begge of thee whence one saith I have loved the Lord because hee will heare mee Thou also as the peace of charity comming into the world to warme and inflame the cold and lukewarme hast said I came that they might have life to wit the life of grace in this life and more abundantly to wit of glory in the life to come Christ. Surely there is nothing which may so inflame the fire of Gods love in thy heart as a continuall consideration and meditation of this speech of mine I came that they might have life and that more abundantly And of that much like unto this So God loved the world as he gave his onely begotten Sonne Sinner Truly wretched and miserable is hee in whose heart the fire of love is not kindled when hee considereth these things wherein the Charity of God hath chiefly appeared But ô thou only begotten of God suffer not my heart to bee so frozen or benummed with this icy congelation but rather through thy mercy in the remembrance of these thy Words like Snow melting by the heat of the Sunne let me say with that princely Prophet My heart is become as melting wax Christ. Humane impiety before the time of my passion tooke occasion of being unthankfull For man being created but not as then redeemed said I am no more bound to God than other creatures be For he spake the word and I was made hee hath bestowed no more labour on me than any other brute creature But now the mouth of these that speak wickedly is stopped and no place now is left for unthankfulnesse For I have laboured more in the sole redemption of man than in the whole frame and fabrick of the World For of a Master I became a servant of Rich poore of Immortall mortall of the Word flesh of the Sonne of God the son of man I suffered reproaches of such as upbraided me I suffered underminers in my Works contradicters in my Words scorners in my Woes necessities of the flesh horrour of death ignominy of the Crosse. Sinner O how admirable was this love What shall I render to my Lord for all his sorrowes Christ. If thou recall to mind how great things the Lord of Majesty the Sonne of God suffered for thee though thou shouldâ—t dye a thousand deaths yet wert thou not equally sufficient to answer me for the estimate of so great a benefit exceedeth all meanes of requitall Sinner As thou best knowest how much I owe unto thee the Lord of glory who subjectedst thy self to death for me that I might enjoy that happinesse which neither eye hath seene nor eare hath heard recount unto me I beseech thee the reasons which caused that most dolorous paine in thy most holy soule For thou saidst right now that in the wombe of thy blessed Mother thou receivedst the Crosse of thy Passion and bore it continually to the houre of thy dissolution Christ. To this end that thou mightst by affection compassion become an acceptable sacrifice unto God wholly inflamed with the fire of Charity all the rust and rubbish of sin being consumed and wasted Consider diligently with a lively heart how I suffred a double Martyrdome one in my body another in my soule or Spirit As touching the Martyrdome of my Body consider that there was never the suffering of any martyr so sharp so painfull that it might be compared with my suffering which I will prove unto thee by authority by signe by reason First by authority For I my selfe crying out of the greatnesse of my sorrows said O all yee who passe by this way consider and see if ever there were sorrow like unto my sorrow as if I should have said there was never any Secondly by Signe Forasmuch as there were never so many Signes seene in the Martyrdome of any as at my Passion implying the sharpnesse and painfulnesse of it to wit When the Sunne was darkned the Earth moved c. As if by the dolorous clamours of my passion they had conceived a sense of devout compassion bemoning me the Son of God hanging on the Crosse. For it was not in the creature to indure the injury done to the Creatour Wherein wicked and obdurate hearts are justly reproved who will not be wrought to compassion nor softned with a pious devotion in the remembrance of my death Thirdly I prove unto thee the bitternesse of my passion by reason Forasmuch as my complexion was most excellent both by reason of the incorruption of my flesh as also by reason of the most proportionable union or mixture of the Elementary qualities For I tooke corruptible flesh of the Virgin for the freeing of all Originall sinne that is of inordinate concupiscence Now to such a complexion was required comelinesse of beauty and strength of body Because therefore by how much more proportionable the union is of those Elements and qualities whereof
selfe-same soule And to the end thou maist more clearely understand these things I would have thee to know that the Source and Fountaine of all my sorrowes was that high and ineffable divine dispensation whereby it was forbid mee that the influence of my glorie and fruition thereof which were in the superiour faculties of my Soule should redound to the inferiour for otherwise shee had felt no sorrow But because this influence was by the divine dispensation prohibited mee therefore did I at once perfectly enjoy all joy according to the Superiour faculties and perfectly suffer and become most vehemently afflicted according to the Inferiour faculties And thus miraculously hath the power of my Father joyned anguish with greatest sweetnesse and highest power with lowest weaknesse Because that this influence prohibited me was altogether repugnant to the course of Nature For naturall it is and according to the course of Nature that the Superiour powers or faculties redound to the inferiour and the Inferiour have impression in the Superiour And by how much this Dispensation was more wonderfull by so much was my sorrow more sharpe and dolefull Thou art to know also that I kept my naturall strength during my Passion even to the point of death Whereby it followeth that my Passion was more dolorous Sinner Surely hee is worthy of death who refuseth to live to thee my LORD JESU who laidst down thy life for us Yea though alive yet he is dead who in the remembrance of thy most bitter continuall Passion and representation of thy Crucifying beareth not thy pricks in his body by sharpnesse of repentance and upon the altar of his heart crucifieth not himselfe for thee by making a Crosse for himselfe to represse carnall delights Christ. He that will come after mee let him deny himselfe and take up his Crosse dayly and follow me Sinner O Jesu the power of God and the wisdome of God give me the understanding of these words Christ. In these my words I have proposed three things to a reasonable man made to the Image of God to wit Servitude Lowlinesse Sharpnesse Servitude is implyed in denying himselfe Lowlinesse in bearing of my Crosse Sharpnesse in imitation of mee That hee who by disobedience fell from the state of a threefold felicity might rise againe by Obedience being humbled with the affliction of a threefold misery For he had fallen from himselfe from society of the Angels from the sight of God that is from Dignity Liberty Felicity Let him therefore heare my counsell that by denying himselfe that is his owne proper will hee may regaine his owne Liberty by taking up his Crosse that is by chusing to bee contemned and disvalued by others hee may regaine the Angels society By following me that is by imitating the steps of my Passion by chastising of his flesh he may regaine the sight of my glory Sinner Truly it is meet and right yea necessary that they suffer with thee who will reigne with thee that they imitate thee who will enjoy thee Christ. Happy is this sentence of thine owne mouth Happy yea three and fourefold happy is he who alwaies considereth how strait and narrow how bitter and sharpe the way is which leadeth to life when it behoued me to suffer that I might enter into my glory If I bought my owne glory at so high a rate Who shall have it altogether freely and for nothing Therefore there is no other way by which thou canst come to the heavenly reward but by labours and afflictions That Rich man who chastised not himselfe with labours of repentance in this world is now in eternall paine in hell But the Poore man with the dolour and labour of this miserable life hath purchased a crowne of eternall glory Sinner Woe is mee that I am allured with the sweetnesse of carnall delights and deceived with the vanity of secular joyes when as I ought to imitate thee whom I read to have oft sorrowed and lamented but once in Spirit to have rejoyced Mary thy Virgin-Mother once rejoyced in a Soâ—g O how ofâ—en hath the sword of sorrow gone thorow her Soule Iohn thy forerunner Paterne and Preacher of repentance rejoyced once in his mothers wombe but how often may wee well beleeve that hee lamented after his comming from her wombe Christ. When I hung upon the Crosse I promised Paradise to none but one that was upon the Crosse. Such are upon the Crosse who cruciâ—ie their flesh with the vices and concupiscences thereof Upon the Crosse also I prayed onely for such as sinned negligently not for such as sinned wittingly For so long as they are such sinners they are excluded from the embraces of me that was crucified who with hands spred upon the Crosse embraced all for whom I suffered If thou wilt therefore ascend after me and reigne in heaven with mee thou must follow mee by the way of the Crosse by which I have entred into my glory Look for no easier way in the way which I have gone before thee thou must follow For if thou stray from my steps thou shalt perish Attend diligently that thou maist know by what way thou maist ascend into Heaven At such time as I came into the World I descended by a Ladder that had three steps to wit of humility whence it is read of me Thou shalt finde the Babe of Poverty whence it followeth in the same place Wrapped in cloaths And of austerity as ensueth laid in a manger And by these steps I afterwards returned to heaven These steps mine excellent Apostle Paul intimateth writing thus of me He emptied himselfe behold the step of Poverty Taking vpon him the forme of a Servant behold the step of Humility becomming obedient even unto death behold the step of Austerity But whither hath this Ladder of three steps brought mee Heare what followeth For this cause therefore hath the Lord exalted him and given him a name which is above all names Fooles therefore and mad-men are they who would ascend up into heaven after me by a Ladder that hath steps contrary to these to wit by Richesse Delights and Honours Surely this Ladder leadeth to Hell as the first did to Heaven Sinner It is a great shame for the servant to bee feasting and idling while his Master is suffering and labouring Christ. Whosoever devoutly meditateth of this my Passion cannot but bee ashamed to follow the pleasure of the flesh The memory of my crucifying crucifieâ—h all vices In the paines of my Passion all the delights of the flesh and of the world are condemned which if thou wouldest subdue without difficulty thou must devoutly remember my Passion and sweetly delighting thy selfe in it sincerely cleave to my wounds yea if thou wouldst foile and resist the Devill who especially pursueth and persecuteth the religious and restraine him from annoying thee thou oughtest dayly and devoutly to remember my Passion But necessary it is that they imprint the example and fimilitude of
my Crucifying in their manners who imprint the signe of my Crosse for their defence in their foreheads that by his Law they may bee formed by whose Faith they are armed For otherwise he disloyally beareth the stampe of his King whose will he doth not observe Neither doth hee rightly protect himselfe with his signe whose command he doth not obey Sinner O good Jesu vouchsafe to bestow on my hearing a fuller joy by recounting to mee thy most unworthy Sinner the rest of those benefits and fruits arising from the dayly remembrance of thy most holy Passion Christ. The memory of my death by a dayly ruminating thereof ought to burne upon the altar of thy mind for many reasons First because thou canst doe nothing more acceptable unto mee than to exercise thine heart in my most holy Passion with love compassion reverence and imitation Whereof thou canst not doubt being assured thereof by many authorities of holy Scripture Wherefore I doe advise thee to stamp my painfull love and loving paine in thy soule and to be thankfull unto me saying Set me as a signet upon thine heart As if he should say Love mee as I love thee Remember not onely how great things I have done for thee but how sharpe and unworthy things I have suffered for thee and see if thou doest not give mee an ill requitall if thou doest not love mee For tell mee who loves thee as I doe Who desireth to be loved of thee as I doe Set me therefore as a signet upon thine heart that thou maist love me with all thy strength upon thine arme that thou maist performe those things which please mee with all thine affection upon thine heart that whatsoever is deare unto thee thou maist set aside for me and alwaies preferre me and alwaies more and more love me Secondly thou oughtst continually to remember my Passion because by it thou art led by the hand to the love of God For by my Passion I have shewne to thee the quantity of my affection And love deserveth love againe Understand what I say I would not reedeme man with praier for so oft times man freeth man from captivity Nor with the price of gold and silver for so sheep and Oxen are bought but with the price of my bloud that by the price of the thing bought my love might bee weighed Do not therfore dis-esteeme thy worth consider oft times thy price If I had redeemed man with gold or silver it might have beene thought that the soule of man had beene comparable â— to temporall riches That which is redeemed is more precious than that by which it is redeemed Therefore the soule of man is more precious than my bloud Thirdly â—or stirring of devotion Whence it was that Sampson found an Honeycombe in the mouth of a dead Liâ—n I am the Lion of the Tribe of Iudâ— in whose death the honeycombe of devotion is found wherewith the spirit of man is refreshed O that thou wouldst seriously consider how upon the Crosse my mouth appeared like one halfe-alive open and my tongue bloudy surely if thou hadst an heart of iron it would have melted with compassion and devotion The fourth fruit arising from the memory of my Passion is that in it is found a guard of defence against all Enemies Whereupon my Apostle Peter Christ suffered for you arme your selves likewise with the same mind And I say Enter into the rocke As a Souldier who unable to withstand his enemy in the field flyeth to his Tents Briefly the Enemy shall prevaile nothing against him whom the daily exercise of my Passion doth delight The fifth is because with no exercise is man so much enriched as with my merits applied to him and made his by the hand of faith for the foundation of all grace and the root of merit as it hath sole relation to me and derived to man by Faith in me consisteth in the sorrow of heart and body for my Crosse. For this cause mine Elect Apostle said I have esteemed my selfe to know nothing but JESUS CHRIST and him crucified And that devout sonne of my blessed mother Bernard It is my highest philosophy said hee to know CRIST JESUS and him Crucified But thou oughtst to grieve because there are many enemies of my Crosse. For the lovers of pleasures are my persecutours they are guilty of my death not as authors or fautors but as contemners 〈◊〉 my death These are they who make the merit of my Passion in them of no effect who make themselves unworthy of mine heavenly blessing unspeakable glory who living in their delights laugh at the mysterie of my Passion who tread mee the Sonne of God under their feet and lay reproach upon the Spirit of Grace A carnall life is an injury unto God contempt of my Crosse and redoundeth to the contumely of all the blessed Trinitie The sixt is the allaying of the labours and dolours encountring man in his way of repentance and life of Religion For a devout faithfull Souldier hath no feeling of his owne wounds when hee seeth the wounds of his loving Captaine And to this end have I contemned all earthly goods that I might shew how they were to bee contemned and sustained all adverse things that I might teach how they were to bee sustained The seventh is the extinguishing of carnall desires for with the sight of my Passion whatsoever is carnalâ— decreaseth The eighth is the stirring of compunction and repentance for sinues For who is he that grieveth not highly when he recals to mind how his sinnes were so odious to God the Father that for taking them away he would have his beloved Sonne crucified and put to death The ninth is the begetting of good hope and considence For in my Crosse the Sinner hath his Sanctuary as a murderer flying for refuge to the Church-yard Nothing is so bitter even unto death which may not be cured by my death I have changed the sentence of thy eternall punishment into the crucifying of my Body subject to a dolorous languishment For I in that sentence which Pilat pronounced against me taking upon me the person of all Sinners to purge their sins wherein they had long laboured was adjudged to death for all Sinners Sinner I conceive and contemplate by this which thou my good Jesu hast said that albeit this sentence was very unjust and therefore execrable in respect of thee because man had no power over God the wicked over the just yet in respect of us it was manifold common modious and profitable and the reason hereof is amiable and venerable because hee wholly reversed that sentence pronounced upon the first man for sinne For the sentence of a dolefull exclusion was denounced against him Whence it is written The Lord cast out man from the Paradise of pleasure and set an Angell to keepe the way of the tree of life But happy and honourable was thy sentence because 〈◊〉 called back a banish'd man for by this
a soft bed a pleasant chamber and delight of the flesh Bee ashamed therefore O my soule when thou beholdest thy Lord hanging upon the Crosse Where imagine him to bee preaching unto thee and rebuking thee after this manner I tooke for thee O man a Crowne of Thornes Thou in contempt of mee wearest a garland made of Flowers I for thee stretched out my hands upon the Crosse wilt thou reach thine forth to pleasures and dalliance I dying could not quench my thirst so much as with water wilt thou seeke after precious Wines and Viands I both on the Crosse as likewise all my life long was full of reproaches and sorrowes wilt thou bestow thy time upon honours and pleasures I suffered my side to bee opened that I might make thee even partaker of my heart wilt thou have thine exposed and opened to vaine and perillous loves A Short and fruitfull Confession of a Sinner unto God for obtaining Contrition O God of inestimable and eternall mercy God of unmeasurable piety God the Creator and Redeemer of mankind who purifiest the hearts of such as confesse their sinnes unto thee who releasest all such from the bond of iniquity as accuse themselves before the sight of thy divine majesty I beseech the power and depth of thy goodnesse with inward groanes that according to the multitude of thy mercies thou wouldst grant mee to make a pure and sincere confession before thee of all my sinnes whereof my guilty conscience doth accuse mee And that thou wouldst give mee true repentance for all such things as I have committed in naughty thoughts depraved cogitations wicked consent unjust counsell in concupiscence and uncleane delights in evill and hatefull words in malicious works in my seeing hearing tasting smelling and touching I truly even in all my members doe conceive my selfe guilty above measure because as the starres of heaven and sands of the Sea so doe I know my sinnes to bee innumerable But to thee Lord who knowest all secrets and who hast said Thou desirest the repentance of a Sinner doe I reveale all the secrets of my heart accusing my naughtinesse and my many and very great sinnes which I have committed before the eyes of thy fearefull Majesty all my wretched life long especially these here for the better increase of thy devotion and spirituall compunction maist thou particularize some of thy grievouser Sinnes with all those my evils which are open and manifest O God of mercy in thy sight And now O most gracious LORD looke upon mee and have mercy on mee and give unto mee a fountaine of teares and remission of all my sinnes through thy free mercie and that with inward confession of heart and affection of desiring remission seconded with so sincere a Confession Rectifie and reforme in mee O most loving Father whatsoever is depraved in mee either in word deed thought through my owne impietie or the Devils subtiltie and by joyning mee a member to the unity of the Church make mee partaker of thy Redemption and admit mee to the Sacrament of blessed reconciliation as one who hath no confidence but in thy mercy and compassion A Confession of Sinnes by Blessed Augustine O Mercifull pitifull great and terrible God I confesse unto thee my sins to thee to thee doe I discover my wounds for thine ineffable goodnesse bestow a Salve on mee Thou O most mild Lord vouchsafedst to say I desire not the death of a sinner but rather that hee may turne from his wickednesse and live I confesse that my life is in thy sight wicked and crooked that my life is falling into the lake of misery and my Soule perishing in my iniquities Lust sinfull delight naughty works wrath pridâ— impatience malice envy gluttony ebriety theft rapine lying perjury scurrility foolish speaking murmuring detraction ignorance infidelity distruct negligence of Gods Commandements as contagious glagues have slaine my Soule Mine heart and lips are polluted My seeing hearing tasting smelling and touching have enfeebled my Soule with sinnes and I am wholly lost as well in my cogitation as action I beseech thee O my Lord God whose mercy hath no end draw mee unto thee as thou drewest that sinfull woman As thou gavest grace unto her not to cease from kissing thy feet washing them with her teares and wiping them with her haires so graciously vouchsafe to grant unto mee that according to the greatnesse of mine iniquities thy great love may bee in mee that for thine unmeasurable piety thou maist forgive mee all my sinnes Bestow on mee pardon for evils past continence for evils present and cautelous prudence for evils to come Grant mee I beseech thee before I dye most fully to obtaine thy mercy and suffer not my dayes to bee ended till my sinnes bee pardoned but as thou willest and knowest have mercy on mee Amen A PRAIER before the holy Communion HAile O most holy flesh and bloud of Christ wherereof I am made partaker in these visible Elements Haile O thou highest sweetnesse who knowest no losing takest away all loathing destroyest death restorest life Haile thou blessed food which leadest thine Elect from the exile of this World to their Country Haile thou happy Sacrifice which art offered upon the Altar of the Crosse to God â—he Father for the whole burden of our sinnes Haile thou Manna more white than snow more sweet than honey more precious than all gold Take from mee I beseech thee O good Shepheard mine iniquities that with a purified heart and spirit I may deserve to taste these Holy of holiest Let this venerable Sacrament bee an impregnable Safeguard to mee against the deceits of the enemy that fed with this wholesome Viand I may passe the slippery wayes of this life in a blamelesse conversation and come unto thee the Bread of life and the true Lord of Angels without any hinderance of the Devils subtilty or malice O Lord heare mee bee pacified with mee attend mee and tarry not from mee O my God for thy goodnesse sake For none can bee worthy of so great a mystery unlesse thou ô Omnipotent God make him worthy Amen A PRAIER OF Th. Aquinas to be said after celebration of the holy Communion I Give thankes to thee O holy Lord OmnipoteÌ„t Father Eternall God who hast vouchsafed to refresh me thy grievous sinner and unworthy servant for no deserts of mine but for thy sole mercy sake with the precious Body and Bloud of thy Sonne our Lord JESUS CHRIST And I beseech thee that this holy Communion may not bee of guilt to mee unto condemnation but a soule-saving intercession of remission and consolation Let it bee unto mee the armour of faith and the shield of good-will Let it bee unto mee a removing of my vices a rooting out of lust and licentiousnesse an increasing of Charity and Patience Humility and Obedience and of all Vertues Let it bee a strong defence against all mine Enemies as well visible as invisible a perfect quieting and composing of my
motions as well carnall as spirituall a constant cleaving in thee the one and true God and a happy consummation of mine end And I beseech thee that thou wouldst vouchsafe to bring mee thy most unworthy â—inner to thatineffable Banquet where thou with thy Sonne and holy Spirit art true light full satiety sempiternall joy consummate gladnesse and perfect felicity to thy Saints Through the same Christ our Lord Amen Another Praier of S. Bonaventure O Most sweet Lord JESU transpierce the marrow and bowels of my soule with the most sweet and wholesome wound of thy love with cleare sincere and most holy Apostolicall Charity that my soule may languish and melt alwayes with the onely love and desire of thee Let her long and faint afâ—er thy Courts Let her desire to be dissolved and to be with thee Grant that my soule may hunger after thee the bread of Angels the repast of holy soules our dayly bread super-substantiall having all pleasantnesse of taste and all delight of sweetnesse May mine heart alwayes hunger and feed on thee on whom the Angels desire to looke and with the sweetnesse of thy taste let the bowels of my soule be filled May shee alwayes thirst after thee the fountaine of life the fountaine of Wisdome and Knowledge the fountaine of eternall Light the streame of pleasure the fulnesse of the house of God May shee alwayes looke about for thee seeke thee finde thee draw towards thee come to thee meditate of thee converse with thee doe all things to the praise and glory of thy name with humility and discretion with love and delectation with facility and affection with perseverance to my dissolution And bee thou alwayes my onely hope my whole trust my riches my delight my joy my gladnesse my quiet and tranquillity my peace my sweetnesse my perfume my solace my meat my repast my refuge my succour my wisdom my portion my possession my treasure wherin my mind and mine heart may be alwayes fixed grounded and unmoveably rooted Amen A PRAYER for all Judges and Justiciaries O Almighty God who judgest iniquity in equity and doest inscrutable things Thou who weighest the mountaines in a balance and wilt bring the Iudges of the Earth to judgement Direct their understandings to discerne what is right give them courage and resolution to doe what is right Give them wisdome in their waies faithfulnesse in their works uprightnesse in their walkes Remove from them covetousnesse and let it bee their ambition to advance thy glory Let neither rewards bee in their hands nor revenge in their hearts Take from them all drousinesse and dulnesse all security and remisnesse Imprint in their hearts a feare of thy name a reverence to thy throne and in all their judgements a sweet attemprature of meâ—cy and judgement Make them tremble when they call to mind whom they personate and imitate thee in being compassionate Let not the Orphans prayers nor the Widowes teares be unremembred seeing these are bottled up by thee let them not bee despised by them that represent thee O let righteousnesse drop upon the Earth that as dew falleth upon the grasse so every flowry border of this thine inclosed garden may bee watred by the dew of thy grace Suffer not this Iland to mourne nor her People to grone because of injustice oppression and wrong Put an hooke in the nostrils of all such imperious Iudges who take thy Law into their mouth and hate to be reformed As for those who turne Iudgement to wormewood and leave of righteousnes in the Earth These who buy the poore for silver and the needy for shoes These that put farre away the evill day and approch to the seâ—te of iniquity The Lord will be avenged of them Hee will mite the great house with breaches and the little house with clefts But remove these judgements from thine Israel O God May no corruption raigne in her Palaces nor iniquity in her pathes May a Zeale of thine house a feare of thy name a love of piety an hate to partiality seize upon the hearts of all Iudges and Iusticiaries in this Kingdome that they may execute their places without respect of persons and afterwards raigne with those three individuate Persons GOD the Father GOD the Sonne and GOD the holy Ghost Trinity in Unity and Unity in Trinity to whom bee all Glorie Amen A Prayer for Peace or tranquillity of Mind GRacious God who art a God of peace and hast pronounced a blessing upon those who make peace give mee that which thou blessest that I may enjoy what thou lovest embrace that which thou approvest affect that which thou commendest possesse that wherin thou delightest Thou knowest that debates variance and contention doe distract our devotion distemper the affection disquiet every good motion disturbe every pious intention Grant therfore I beseech thee that these differences to which I am ingaged or may hereafter bee intangled or inthralled be to the glory of thy great name the preservation of mine honest repute and fame and quiet of my affaires peaceably composed Cut out of mee towards my family all severity towards my familiars all disloyalty towards my Neighbours all extremity Grant mee peace of mind in my living peace of conscience at my dying and after death that peace which passeth all understanding Cause all tumults of the flesh to cease in mee all immoderate affections to decrease in mee all inordinate motions to dye in mee Sanctifie my heart purifie my mind direct my spirit erect my faith correct my life Remove from mee all occasions of difference that I may find quietnesse of conscience Grant that I may sow the seed of righteousnesse walke in the wayes of holynesse make profession of my faith with all singlenesse that I may come to the possession of happinesse Let mee seeks peace and ensue it Love thy Law and pursue it reforme thine Image and renue it Suffer not the tempests of this world to dismay mee the errors of this life to perplex mee or the terrors of death to appall mee I know O Lord affliction to bee bitter to him that suffers it impatiently but sweet to him that suffers it constantly Thou provest those thou lovest and afflictest those thou affectest Affliction then cannot be bitter when it maketh us better What though disgrace obscure mee wrongs inure mee reproach impeach mee injuries presse thicke upon mee I am made strong through him to beare them who bore the Crosse for me suffered all dishonour for mee shed his bloud for mee lost himselfe to finde mee became sold to redeeme mee racked upon the Crosse to reach mee a Crowne climing Mount Calvarie to mount mee to glory O make mee then ready in my suffering to imitate thee my Saviour Though warre assaile mee without give mee peace within Humble my Spirit that I may bee of that temper as I may still reflect upon the Image of my Saviour that living in his feare I may dye in his favour
Amen Of the presence of the Conscience in every place Gathered out of Saint Bernards Meditations Cap. XIII I Cannot conceale my sinnes because whither soever I goe my Conscience is with mee carrying with her whatsoever I have laid up in her bee it good or evill Shee keepes for mee living shee renders to mee dying whatsoever shee hath received from mee to bee laid up in her or kept by her If I doe well shee is present or if I seeme to doe well and thence become proud shee is present likewise Shee is present with mee living shee followes mee dying every where is there inseparable confusion for mee according to the quality of that which is laid up in my Conscience by me Thus thus in mine owne house and from mine owne family have I accusers witnesses Judges and tormentors My Conscience doth accuse mee my memory is a witnesse against mee Reason is my Judge Will my Prison Feare my Tormentor delight my torment For so many as there have beene of evill delights so many there shall bee of sharpe and painfull torments for thence are wee punished whence wee are delighted A consideration right pithy profitable and proper to inforce in us a more serious Meditation of the former WHither then wilt thou fly O miserable soule or where wilt thou make thy retire Neither to the East nor to the West nor to the desart Mountaines Fly thou maist but escape thou canst not Woe is mee what a day of terror will that bee when thou shalt finde no place to secure thee no friend to speake for thee no meanes to reprive thee all to reprove thee none to relieve thee When Adam must bee brought from his bushes and Sarah from behind the doore and man shall say to his Conscience â—s Ahab said to Elias Hast thou found mee O mine Enemyâ— Poore guilty soule though â—hou shouldst fly from the Field to the City from the â—ity to thy House from thy House to thy Chamber yet wouldst thou finde no rest For there even there where â—he wals inclose thee privacie seemes to secure thee the Curtaines of the Night to obscure thee yet there will thy surcharged Conscience accuse thee thy Memory witnesse against thee the rule of Reason judge thee thy Will imprison thee Feare torture thee Delight torment thee Miserable Creature where pleasure becomes a torture delight a torment Alas if thou hadst none without thee to hunt thee thou hast one within thee will haunt thee afflict thee affright thee though none should pursue thee The wicked flee when none pursueth O cast thine eye upon thy selfe and see if thou bee not one of this number What hast thou done during thy wayâ—aring in this vale of misery that might deserve the least drop of Gods mercy What sinnefull motion hast thou not admitted what sensuall action not committed what spirituall direction not omitted Behold thy state in sin conceived by sinne deceived and into Satans family received Thou hast surâ—eted in the delights of sinne and estranged thy thoughts from the joyes of Sion Thou hadst rather enjoy the pleasures of sinne for a season and to the slavery of sense subject the Principality of reason than by contempt of Earth lay thee a sure foundation in heaven Miserable soule what will become of thee when these earthly joyes shall bee taken from thee when these time-suting friends which seeme to love thee shall leave thee and by reason of that corrupt shell wherein thou sojournest shall loath thee When left to thy selfe and through anguish of spirit well neare bereft thy selfe thou shâ—lt call for comfort but none will come neare thee for one of thy many friâ—nds but none will heare thee for one minutes rest but none will ease thee for the least hope of comfort but none will cheere thee Where canst thou looke and not finde new objects of grieâ—e If to Heaven see how thy sinnes have incensed it if to Earth see how thy example hath defil'd it if to Hell see how thy sinnes purchase hath deserved it What hast thou to plead for thee What succour what shelter to secure thee Alas now thou art to bee presented before a Judge who is upright and will not bee bribed who is all-seeing and will not bee blinded who is equally minded and will not be bended Forged oathes cannot delude him personall respect deprave him hireling Advocates by perswasion draw him or powerfull Potentates by countenance ore-awe him The Judges of the Earth shall bee judged by him and the Kings of the Earth shall tremble before him O what will become of thee sinne-soiled soule in these straits of extremity these intricate mazes of misery Poore thou art and who will enrich thee naked of good workes and who will cloath thee Hungring after this world which cannot feed thee thirsting after honours which cannot fill thee O how long hast thou preferred the prodigals huskes of vanity before the delitious viands of eternity How long hast thou turned in thy bed like a doore on the hinges promising thy selfe security when nothing was farther from thee O reflect upon thy misery and implore gods mercy Even that God in whose sight the very Heavens are uncleane such is his purity That God which came not to call the righteous but the sinner to repentance such is his piety Art thou sick Yea sin-sick soule-sick Teares are the best Electuary to cure this desperate malady The penitents brine is the Angeâ—s wine When Sinners weepe Angels rejoyce for right well they know that they which Sow in teares shall reape in joy Bee a Turtle then in thine heart passionatly throbbing a Pelicane in thy brest compassionately piercing an Hart in thine eyes incessantly weeping a Swan in thy voyce deaths Elegy singing a Philomel in thy note for thy lost chastity â—ighing a Crane in thy life circumspectly watching O shut yea speedily shut I say thine eyes from vanity that the Objects of Heaven may onely delight thee shut thine eares from levity that the subject of vertue may invite thee shut all thy senses from the deluding motives of sensuality that reason may bee thy guide the love of God thy goad Heaven thy goale peace of conscience thy crowne of glory Shut the doore of thine inner Chamber and there poure out thine heart to Gods honour where reposing and from the world retyring thou maist thus invoke him thus invite him Let nothing bee unto mee I beseech thee pleasant without thee nothing sweet nothing specious nothing appeare unto mee without thee precious Let all things appeare vile unto mee without thee Whatsoever is contrary to thee let it bee displeasing to mee and let thy good-will and pleasure be my indeficient desire and endevour Let it irke mee to rejoyce without thee let it delight mee to rejoyce with thee and weep with thee O good JESU if it bee so sweet to weep for thee how sweet is it to rejoyce for thee Thus to meditate is to recreaâ—e
yee trusted Bee they riches honours friends or any other vaine thing whatsoever they shall availe you nothing at the houre of death but leaving these behind you ye shall goe naked unto the Tribunall of God to receive according to your works What blindnesse nay what madnes is it then to rejoyce here in your journey to love fraile things which profit nothing to neglect the time and occasion of living well and as if without all sense of God through drousinesse and drynesse of mind to rellish those things onely which are of the flesh to have in pursuit those things onely which are outward and not at all to consider the dangerous state of the inward man and so to come unto death Alas how innumerable are those miserably wretched ones who are here deceived with the love of the world ensnared and â—y drawing after them the yoake of the Devill how unhappily slaved And thus unexpectedly they come unto death with hearts both hardned and blinded Alas how unhappy is the end of their life with whom there was never Meditation of death nor preparation for health Such things therefore are to bee rejected as hinder the spirit delight the flesh Such things to bee relinquished as are not expedient In such sort is every one to live every houre as if that were his very last wherein he should dye and goe to judgement This is the most fruitfull profitable soveraigne counsell O Daughter that thou maist live after this manner and that death may be to thee no terrour Now then if not continually yet frequently should that houre bee presented before thee as if it were before thine eyes wherein thy soule going out of thy body shall be judged for all thy workes words and thoughts This therefore oughtst thou even at this present to injoyn thy selfe that thou maist live so even now to the end thou maist be found so prepared is thou wouldst thy selfe to bee prepared whensoever death shall undoubtedly come It is the property of a most sottish and senselesse heart to deferre amendment of life to that time when time expireth when thou canst live no longer when now thou art not to amend thy life but to appeare before God as thou art already amended Surely not sinnes only but even all things doe leave thee going out of this life Thou art not then properly said to leave thy sins when thou canst now sin no more But if whilest thou hast ability to sin thou cease from sin true repentance is never to be called late but this which is deferred to the end of thy life it is to be feared that it is seldome true For if through feare of damnation only being even now to die thou sorrowest and art ready for the avoiding of punishment to performe any taske be it never so extreme to obtaine pardon Thou sorrowest not out of charity in that thou hast offended God but out of selfe-love for that thou wishest to thy selfe good and not evill For thou sorrowest because thou hast brought to thy selfe eternall damnation by thy sinnes Wheras if thou rightly sorrowest for this only wouldst thou sorrow in that thou so disobedient unto me so unthankfull to me so reproachfull to me hast not exhibited due honour and reverence unto me whom thou oughtest with al affection to have honored whatsoever should befall thee Whereas now forasmuch as thou only sorrowest for thy selfe if danger were avoided or no revenge on sinne inflicted thou wouldst never lament though thou hadst offended me a thousand yeares together True Repentance which reconcileth the soule unto me springeth from Charitie and bewaileth this especially that shee hath so greatly and grievously contemned and offended mee her best greatest gracioust and most faithfull LORD GOD her Creator and Redeemer Hence I say is his heart wounded for as much as so unthankfully so disobediently and so proudly being buâ— dust and nothing hee hath lifted up his head against me Whosoever therefore desireth to dye happily let him as mine A postle admonisheth him live soberly justly and holily An evill death followeth not a good and just life but precious in my sight is thâ— death of my Saints yea after what sort of death soever they die that is whether they dye by water or fire or in bed But to prepare thee all the better for death the Meditation whereof is the life of every wise man take here along with thee this short exercise by which every one may instruct and addresse himselfe that he may take a course to be found in that state in which he may not feare to dye Wholesome Admonitions teaching a Christian how to dye well WHATSOEVER dying thou wouldst wish that thou hadst done doe the same even now Whatsoever thou wouldst have done doe not commit this unto others to be done after thy death but doe thou it thy selfe for if thou thy selfe bee negligent of thine owne salvation and a traytour to thy selfe how shall strangers tender thy happinesse Doe not repose trust in uncertaine and vaine promises neither commit thy selfe to doubtfull events So live and so doe that thou maist bee safe in thy conscience and as if thou wert this day to dye Never goe to sleepe till such time as thou hast examined the expence of the day with the conditions and actions of thy life Discusse and call to judgement thine heart and examine all thy senses and whether thou art become better or worse this day Never goe with that conscience to sleepe with which thou darest not dye If thou findest thy selfe in that state wherein thou fearest to dye search out the cause of this feare For peradventure some sins are in thee whereof thou hast not as yet repented or refusest to confesse or else thou forbearest to abstaine from sinne and occasions of sin or thou takest upon thee some profession office or vocation which I admit not of or thou continuest in hatred or in the unjust possession of others goods or too much affected to the desire or delight of temporall affaires or taken with the inordinate love of some creature or drowned with the delight of earthly and visible things as of honour and riches thou canst not turne thy selfe to mee tasting nothing of those things which are of the Spirit but onely let loose to outward things and loathing those which are divine therefore it is that thou fearest death Because thy soule guiltie of evill in her-selfe foretelleth what torments shall befall her after death If any of these shall be in thee thou oughtest to abhorre pursue and with all thine endevour to free thee of them For which purpose and the better effecting of so glorious a designe it may helpe thee much to imitate my steps embrace my crosse and with rigour of mind and with holy hatred commenced against thy selfe to denounce warre upon all thy vices to have a purpose to sinne no more frequently and infatigably to renue the same with no infirmitie or
I can by no meanes nor measure compare mine understanding to it yet I desire in some sort to understand thy truth which mine heart beleeveth and loveth Neither doe I beleeve to understand that I may beleeve but I beleeve that I may understand For this likewise I beleeve that unlesse I beleeve I shall not understand Therefore O Lord thou who givest understanding to faith give unto mee that I may understand so much as thou knowest to be expedient for mee for thou art as wee beleeve and this thou art which wee beleeve true God who livest and reignest world without end DEAHTS Memoriall The Child of God thinkes willingly of death To rest with Him who after death gives breath NOw to shut up all with that which closeth all by imposing a Period upon all We are to consider now when the sinfull soule beginneth to be loosened from these bonds of flesh with what bitter terror shee is afflicted with what stings of a biting conscience shee is distracted Shee remembers the things forbidden her which shee hath committed Shee considers the things commanded her which shee hath negligently contemned she bemoanes those opportunate times of repentance offer'd her and which shee so fruitlesly apprehended shee bewailes that immoveable article of strict revenge inevitably approching her She h 'as had sufficient time of sojourning here shee is now compelled to goe hence Shee would regaine that which shee h'as lost but she is not heard Behind her shee beholds the whole course of her forepast life all which shee accounts as one short pace She casts her eyes upon her selfe and collects the space of an infinite perpetuity She laments therefore in that she h'as lost what in so short a space she might have got the joy of all ages She bemoanes her selfe in that for so short a pleasure of fleshly delight she h'as lost the unspeakable sweetnesse of perpetuall solace Shee blusheth in that for this substance which is subject to wormes shee h'as neglected that which was to have beene ranked amongst Quires of Angels Now she lifteth up the beames of her minde and no sooner beholdeth the glory of immortall riches than shee becomes confounded for that she h'as lost them for the poverty of this life Againe when shee casteth her eyes under her in a despicable reflex upon the valley of this world and eying it to be nothing but darknesse but above her wonders at the beautie of that eternall light she clearly sees that it was night and darknesse which shee loved O that shee might but purchase some small remainder of time for repentance what a sharp course of conversation would she take upon her what and how great things would shee promise with what vows of devotioÌ„ would shee enwreath her In the meane time while her divine eyes grow darke while her heart beats while her hoarse throat gaspes her teeth grow by little and little black and draw as it were unto them a certaine rust her countenance becomes pale and all her members stiffe While these then and such like as forerunning offices of approching death attend her all her works and words present themselves before her nay not her very thoughts are absent and all these bring in bitter testimony against their author All these are heaped together before the eyes of her viewing them so as even those things which she shunneth to behold she is inforced though against her will to take notice of Besides all this there is here an horrid troupe of Devils and there a glorious traine of Angels By that which appears betwixt them may be clearly perceived which of them h'as most property in her For if tokens of piety bee discovered in her shee is cheared with the delights of an angelick invitation and allured with the sweetnesse of an harmonious melodie to go forth But if the blacknesse of her merits and the impurity of her foule and filthy life adjudge her to the left hand presently with an intolerable terrour shee becomes surprized with the violence of a sudden force she is disturbed dejected invaded and from the prison of miserable flesh violently haled that to eternall torments with bitternesse shee may be tugged Now after her departure from the body who can utter what armed troopes or Squadrons of wicked Spirits lye in ambush for her what treacherous traines furnished with cruell tortures besiege the way that receives her And lest the soule should escape theÌ„ legions of furies as it were in military rankes or battalions inclose her This and â—uâ—h like frequently to meditate of in thine heart what else is it than to shunne delightfull blandishments to be divorc'd from the world and to shake off unlawfull motions of the flesh and constantly to retaine the sole purpose of attaining perfection Which that wee may doe God for his mercy grant us Amen Sedeo Sileo Signo Deaths distinction O My soule good is the death of the just in respect of tranquillity better in respect of novelty best in respect of security Contrariwise the death of sinners is the worst and rightly the worst evill in losing the world worse in parting from the flesh but worst in that twofold anâ— guish of a worme never dying and a fire ever burning and which is worst of all in being deprived of divine contemplation HOLY MEMORIALS Or Heavenly Memento's Memor fui Domini Delectatus sum A bono die bonum opus suscipiamus ab illo die in quo veluti Christus ascenderit piis desideriis ascendamus Of his Conception MEMORIALL I. I Was not and thou didst make mee I had no being and thou gave it mee I was conceived in sinne before I conceived what was Sin Nature laid on mee a staine before she brought mee to a visible state My bloud was corrupted before ever I entred Tainted it was when Eve was tempted and weakely consented Thus did my parents make mee forlorne before ever I was borne Even then wheÌ„ the second skin was my coat was Sin my Cognizance Seeds of sin sprung in mee before the Light tooke notice of mee And these had their rooting from those that bred mee Long before I had abilitie to sin were all my members made instruments of sinne Before I had the use of any sense sin had made a slave of every sense For mine eyes while they were as yet sealed sights of sin had enter'd theÌ„ For mine eares though they were as then closed ayres of sin had pierced them For my taste before I enjoy'd it an Apple had poyson'd it For my Touch before I employ'd it had Eves pulse soiled it For my Smell before I knew how to use it had the steames of earth choaked it I was shut up as one in darknesse and darke I was within as well as without by means of mine originall uncleanenesse I conversed with none none with mee my mothers wombe was that living tombe which inclosed mee Thus before ever I saw the Sun became I a growing lump of sin
them Now tell mee was this all that might bee required of mee Was it sufficient for mee to commend to others what I meant not to amend in my selfe Was this the duty of an Author Whether bee our lives to bee showne in our pens or our pens in our lives Truth is for one Active man we have â—en Contemplative Amongst which none ever professed more and expressed lesse than my selfe I could sometimes say and confirme it with a vow That I could never dictate with tongue nor relate with pen what I conceived not first in heart But none could finde this in me that did reade me or by conversing with me found mee So as withdrawing my selfe a little aside from â—he world and considering my owne fearfull estate whom even ripenesse of time cals out of the world I goe on many times in this Appeale to my selfe Looke I pray thee looke a little on thy selfe and let no strange eye see thee nor eare heare thee nor tongue judge thee but thy selfe What hast thou writ or of what hast thou writ Of love of Love but didst thou not corrupt that style and make it Lust Yes heavens know thou didst Againe didst thou chuse a better subject how didst thou handle it wel enough in thy line but too too ill in thy Life O then let it be thy Labour in this thy small remainder to begge forgivenesse of Him whom thou didst so much dishonour and if ever there bee spent by thee more Lampe-light on those Studies let Him onely have the praise who rewards â—â—ery faithfull Labourer in the Evening and gives to his Labour successe His Life MEMORIALL IX LIfe is a Race or progresse to Death The House I sojourne in a Tent or Tabernacle The People I converse and consort with as I am and all our Fathers before us Pilgrims Every day h 'as his date yesterday was nor as to day nor to day as to morrow Two things there are which makes mee ever to wonder the more I thinke of them The one is to heare a Stranger as we are all to breathe out so many longing wishes languishing desires O that I were at home O that I were in mine owne Countrey And what home is this hee meanes Is it his owne home his owne native Countrey No It is his earthly Tabernacle Perchance he liveth if a Pilgrimage may be properly called a Living farre in the North and upon occasion he is call'd up to the South O how tedious are his houres till he returne yet was hee as neare his Countrey before as now The Latter is to see a poore way-faring man as we are all when he is in his journey and wearied with Travaile overload himselfe as if hee purposely meant to fore-slow his speed to his Countrey Or set himselfe on building in the way as if he had quite forgot the place whereto he was to goe This I am sure is my estate Albeit I have found even in those who would have highly rejoyced in enjoying that light which I am call'd to and no doubt would have made far better use of it than I doe excellent resolves touching their contempt of earth although their understandings were so darkned as their mis-guided thoughts could mount no higher These could conclude Wheresoever we be we are in our Countrey and our Countrey with us so it be well with us But well it cannot bee with us so long as Passions of the minde disquiet us within and Infirmities enfeeble us without I heare some call this Life a Prison but yet these who call it so live not like Prisoners Delights and Delicacies become not Fotters Nay if we truely held it a prison wee would desire our libertie but we either know not or acknowledge not our misery Others can call it a Banishment others a Punishment others a Death But if a Banishment why wish wee not to be restored if a Punishment why seeke wee not to bee released And if a Death why sleepe wee in it and desire not to be raised No no these are but words in the aire Like such as commend Abstinence in their Surfets or discourse of Mortification in their Cups Not one of these who compare themselves to prisoners would be if they might bee freed Nor one of these Exiles infranchised Nor one of these who hold themselves thus punished delivered nor one of these who hold themselves Dead-alive revived This I am sure is my case Though I finde all things in the World to bee nothing but Vanitie and of those Man the greatest Vanitie and of all men my selfe thâ—â—â—â—lest of Vanity For I have rejoyced all my dayes in a thing of nought And I thought still in mine heart to put farre away the evill day by approaching to the Seat of iniquitie but I found that the eyes of the Almighty were upon mee and that I groped but in Darknesse to wound my selfe Wretched man How long have I been in a miserable state and knew it not How long have I beene a Stranger to my Fathers house and returned not I have read it Deare Lord in thy Book and I have found it by experience in that publike Register of mans mortality how this Life is truly compared to a Course to a Roast and what swifter To a Weavers shuttle and what â—â—icker To a Tale that is told what shorter To a Shadow what sooner vanishing To Grasse what sooner withering To the Tracke of a Ship what lesse appearing To the Flight of a Bird what more speedily gliding Yet for all this have I loaded my selfe with thicke clay as if I were too fleet in my course to heaven and needed trashing But would you know in what places I have beene most versed and with what persons most conversed I shall render you a just Account meane time what Account I shall make for my mis-spent houres heaven knowes After such time as my Parents had brought mee up at Schoole to get mee an inheritance in that wherewith no earthly providence could endow me I was sent to the Vniversitie where still with an humble acknowledgement of others favours and seasonable endevours I became such a Proficient as Time call'd mee and Examination approv'd mee for a Graduate And in these Studies I continued till by universall Voice and vote I was put upon a Task whose Style I have and shall ever retaine the Sonne of Earth Terrae Filius From the performance of which exercise whether it were the extraordinary favour which the Vniversitie pleased to grace mee withall or that shee found some tokens in mee of such future proficience as might answer the hopes of so tender a Mother I know not but sure I am I received no small encouragement both in my studies and free tender of ample preferment And too apt was I to apply this the worse way For this extraordinary grace begot in mee a selfe-conceit of my own worth ever thinking that if this had not proceeded from some more deserving parts in mee that rich Seminary
selfe but a Planet in both Fixt I could not bee till some constant Calling admitted mee I resolved then seeing I found nothing either in Court or Citie but cares Cares in the one of getting to hoord and gather cares in the other of getting to spend and scatter in the one more rinde than pith in the other more pith than rinde This partaking more of Complement that of Substance yet a naturall straine of Insinuation in both but their Objects different The one making a cringe for fashion the other for gaine While the former makes his vowes too familiar with his protests to be beleeved the other sees too deepe a glosse of his commodities with shopoaths to be lik't The one with a low dook of your Servants Servant proclaimes him the Servant of time and no ones servant This I wholly dislik't for I found the title of Servant otherwise applyed by that Divine Vessell of Election that devout Sanctuarie of Sanctification that pure Mirrour of Supreme Contemplation His title was as it was likewise of others of his Fellow-Labourers Paul a servant of Iesus Christ Iames a servant of Iesus Christ Iude a servant of Iesus Christ. With this Complement These began their Epistles A Sainâ—-like Preamble an heavenly Courâ—â—hip Such as all Christians are to imitate The other with his subtill weights and measures reserving ever my best thoughts for the best made mee suspect him that hee sold his commodities by retaile and his conscience by whole sale Upon review of these I say I resolv'd to leave those Cinnamon Trees of the Court with their sweet rindes and those Palmato's of the Citie with their broad shades and to turne honest Countrey-man where my Parents providence had setled a competent estate upon mee Here I lookt to finde nothing but plaine dealing where I found in very deed nothing lesse For upon a more serious perusall of that life with the benefits that rose from it and conditions of those who were borne and bred in it I found a cunning Colt wrapt up in a russet coat Men as apt to catch as if they had beene hatcht in the Harpies nest Such as would not stick to hazard their part and portion in the Tabernacle for a Symoniacall Contract And still I went on to dive into the qualitie of those Ilanders Where I found some pining through want others repining at their neighbours wealth few or none coÌ„tent w th their estate yet none so poore in estate as hee would not though hee spared it from his belly have a fee in store to maintaine a suit Long I had not remained in this fashion till it pleased the Prince to put mee in Commission for administration of Iustice a vertue and a choyce one too yet such an one as by the abuse of man not of time may be compared to the Celedony stone which retaineth her vertue no longer than it is rubbed with gold For my carriage therein I appeale to such as knew mee many imperfections and failings Heaven knowes accompanyed mee which by an humble acknowledgement of mine owne wants an earnest desire of supply by Gods grace became so rectified in mee as what before seemed crooked was by that golden Rule of his divine Will in mee streightned Thus have I passed my dayes traced many wayes where the longer I lived the more I sinned which caused mee to wash my couch with teares and to remember the follies of my Youth Manhood and Age with anguish of heart O how much it now grieves mee to have grieved so much at the sight or thought of gray haires and to have grieved so little at the thought or sight of my sinnes May it then bee my care to call for grace lest I bring my gray haires with lasting sorrow to theiâ— grave O may the remainder of my dayes teach mee to number my dayes that I may goe to him and live with him who is the length of dayes His Death MEMORIALL X. WElcome thou unwelcommest to man because I have in part puâ— off man through his grace by whom I am and who for mee became man to free mee from the curse of the Law due to man O Death how terrible hadst thou been unto mee if hee who dyed for mee had not conquer'd thee And yet many things present themselves before mee which highly perplex mee Sinnes nothing but sinnes muster themselves before mee to affright mee Yea sinnes which I never thought of till now appeare foule and ugly unto mee But I know my Redeemer liveth and that with these eyes I shall see him Though the Furies of Sinne and Satan enter their pleas against mee though my secret Sinnes tell mee that I am the child of disobedience that I have justly incurred Gods heavie wrath and displeasure and that my strange sinnes have deservedly made me a Stranger and Alien to the house of my Father Though my whole course hath beene a continued curse by transgressing his Law who satisfied the Law for me Though I have made every Creature mine Enemie by offending that heavenly Maker who made them and me Though I finde no good thing in mee not one Witnesse within mee to speake for mee Not one day nay not one houre of my life without Sinne to accuse mee Not one poore worke of Charitie so pure and without Vain-glory as to plead for mee Not one Friend amongst all those many who profest themselves mine to appeare for mee Yet have I One who h'as vanquished Death Sinne and Satan One who will Cure my Wounds because I have opened them and Cover my Sinnes because I have discovered them One who will bring mee home to my Fathers house bring forth his best roabe to adorne me put a ring on mine hand to inrich me and bring me to his Great marriage Feast which shall for ever refresh me One who wil turne his Curse into a Blessing and with the sight of his Dearest Selfe satisfie my longing One who as hee made his Angels Ministers for mee on Earth will make them my Companions in Heaven One who though hee could see no good thing in me will of his owne free goodnesse supply mee One who will send his holy Spirit to witnesse for mee and will shew to his Father those Prints of his Love those Skars of his Wounds to speake for mee One who will evince the testimony of Sinne so as though it accuse mee it shall never impeach me One who is all charity and with the eyes of mercy will looke on my misery and in this houre of my necessity will plead for mee One who when all my friends shall leave mee will cleave neare mee and at the houre of my death will so defend mee that mine Enemie may have no power over mee Yet for all this old Acquaintance cannot be so easily parted I feele a trembling in my flesh it is death to her to be divided from her Soule Therefore shee desires still to bee a Cottage though a crazie one for the entertainment of