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A01512 The hospitall of incurable fooles: erected in English, as neer the first Italian modell and platforme, as the vnskilfull hand of an ignorant architect could deuise; Hospidale de' pazzi incurabili. English Garzoni, Tomaso, 1549?-1589.; Nash, Thomas, 1567-1601.; Blount, Edward, fl. 1588-1632. 1600 (1600) STC 11634; ESTC S102909 90,029 174

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publike affaires entred into the counsell chamber and cried out aloud I giue my verdite that euery one of you be dawcockes And one Norandino of Sauignano was not much vnlike these being a most vitious foole who at a time when a great disputation was helde in the citie of Cesena neere to that towne and passing by chance through the place where all the disputāts were gathered togither making roume amongst them all with a good quarter staffe he spake with a loud voice I hold this conclusion that Sauignano is not distant from Cesena aboue ten miles and next I maintaine this other that Sauignano is male and Cesena is female as also I le stand to this that more people will giue eare to me which am but a Foole then to you who would appeare to be wise And last of all I will affirme and prooue this other that if euer a wiseman went thorough Cesena I should not be a foole my selfe These of this kinde therefore are called vicious fooles and within the Hospitall they enioy a cell which hath hanging without the image of the goddesse Themis vpon whom as their protectrix in this vnder supplication we will call for helpe A supplication to goddesse Themis for vicious Fooles O Great daughter of heauen and earth so woonderfully beloued of Iupiter as thou art desirous of his loue be not niggardly of thy help to those who being fooles and vicious seeke at the handes of Themis the goddesse of reasonable demaunds that which is requisite for them to request and sue for They demaunde therefore this iust and lawfull sute that of Heauen thy father thou wouldest obtaine wit for their vnderstanding and vertue for their mindes for if by thy grace and fauour they shall be deliuered from such a defect in thy temple so much honored by the Boëtians neere the riuer Celisus thoushalt see offred vnto thee a Spanish mule which will be an euident signe of the great victorie and triumph thou shalt obtaine by such a deliuerie Of malicious and despightfull fooles the thirteenth discourse SOme men there be that inwardly haue inserted in thē such a spirit as if they happē at any time to be offended or iniuried by anie one with a foolish wilfulnes at one instant they begin to contend with him and as of the offenders side iniuries and offences multiply so likewise togither with hatred doe continuall rancors and despightes encrease on their part so as the matter commeth to this passe that brutishly thus hammering and boiling in their mindes they obtaine the name of malitious and despightfull fooles Amongst auncient examples that peraduenture of Cleomedes Astipalensis a man of mightie strength named by Plutarke may well be placed who being defrauded of a certaine rewarde due vnto his vertue entred for this cause into such malice and despight as one day he laide his shoulders to a pillar which susteined the common schoole wherein were all the children of the chiefest men of the place and bearing it furiously to the ground he killed the master and all those yoong youths togither In the number of these also may that Merganore in the Poet Ariosto be reckoned who for the death of his two sonnes conceiued such mortall hatred against women-kinde as looke howe many women soeuer came within his circuit they were al for this cause rudely scoffed and hardly intreated by him For a malicious and peeuish Foole of late daies a certaine literate quoy quanquam is of all men crowned or such a kinde of peeuish Poul-iobham that for the biting of a flea could finde in his hart to kill the whole world when he is in his spleene sir Iohn Chimneis humor he feares not all the great ordinance of the Tower for enuie and despight take away from him all foresight of the danger and blow that hangeth ouer the head of his furie Wherefore to this our purpose it is reported of him that on a time another calling him head of a base violl he was through this word mooued to such choler that he reached him such a blow which missing him lighting vpon a pillar by broke all this Fooles owne hand arme and when he cleerly saw the dammage which redounded to himselfe entring into greater furie then before he threw a flinte-stone to haue hit him on the head which lighting against the wall and recoyling backe tooke himselfe on the breast so that raging presently with double furie and madnes he went to runne his head against the other mans belly who drawing back he ran his owne head against the wal broke it all ouer and last of all hauing no otherthing wherewith to shew his spleene hee indiscreetly out of his stomacke powers a belch in his face saying Goe to take this seeing I can in no other sort reuēge my self Christoforo of Crispino was a notable wayward and despitefull Foole who because on a time another said vnto him he being of rude and homely aspect you are a welfauoured yoong man abhorring this mans ironicall speech hee threw a cheese at his breast and because he tooke vp the cheese carried it away to eat he sent after him a knife which he had but he taking vp the knife also to serue his turne to cut the cheese withal being neer to a bakers shop the other tooke vp as much bread as hee could in his hand and threw it at him the which in like manner he taking vp to serue him to eate his cheese withall the other would last of all haue throwen an emptie cup without wine at him which was readie at hand but hee saying vnto him nay gentle brother but fill it with wine and then send it after mee in gods name With these words he grew into such a furie as running to a fountaine neere hand he would needes haue cast it full of water at him but this man smiling and flying away like a trecherous Parthian or snearing companion said I will haue the knife the bread and the cheese and let the cup and the water remaine with thee for we are now share and share like and thus did he delude the last blow of this despitefull Foole who in the end perceiued that he was exceedingly derided for his foolish enterpise A more famous example of malitious Folly cannot be produced then that which diuine Ariosto setteth downe in peruerse and wicked Gabrina especially in that Stanza which beginneth thus Hearke thou said she that art so stoute and fell As thou contem'st and mak'st a scorne of me For if thou knew'st what newes I could thee tell Of her whom dead thou dost bemoane I see Then would'st thou me behold with merrie glee But rather then I will the same declare Thou shalt me into mammocks pull and tare For the cursed olde wretch with all furious despite sought to wreake her selfe on miserable Zerbino not imparting to his lamentable Fortune one onely sparke of pitie or commiseration like a diuelish and impious witch as
conceits sonnets madrigals and songs to sende flowers nosegaies newe-yeeres gifts presents and bounties and to set downe by himselfe in effectuall wordes his endured amorous seruitude he goeth by little and little in this manner extenuating his wit and consuming his iudgement and vnderstanding in these fantasies Amidst these his foolish desires he coueteth to be a flea a flie or an ante that by this meanes he might enter into the chāber of his beloued he contēdeth to mine vnder the earth as conies do for the self same effect he hūgreth after al kind of greatnes beauty parts fauour that aboue all the world he may know how to be in her grace and which is worst he would that both life and death should serue his turne at an instant In conceite he frameth amorous deuises wittie and excellent embleames sweete and smooth falling rythmes sententious censures artificiall sayings ingenious stratagemes and thus hammereth he in his mind both night and day about whatsoeuer he thinketh in the end may procure him any assistance with resolution he determineth to attend the conclusion and to be firme in his intentions resoluing with himselfe no more to endure nor any longer to suffer torment and griefe but marke what he saith determineth and resolueth for by and by he affronteth her with wordes and courteth her sometimes bitterly otherwhiles sweetelie and then in mediocritie with his gestures hee seeketh to mooue her to compassion crossing his armes with an high-ho and if he be cunning in his motions and actions hee will make her euen readie to kill herselfe with compassion to conclude his carriage is such that beastes themselues are sometimes wiser and more prudent then one of these amorous fooles for an onely example of these amorous Fooles Romain Marke Antonie is set downe who besotted with the loue of Cleopatra Queene of Egypt lost for her onely cause both his empire life and honour That of Pyramis and Thisby entangled one with an others loue can not be concealed who one for the other miserablie died whereupon Strozzapadre in these verses following celebrateth their death Of Pyramis and Thesbie example we may make Whom cruell death vnto himselfe by equall means did take And Calentius in his Epigrammes writeth of them Pyramis and Thisbies loue was most vnfained sure For both of them with proper hande did meeke their deathes endure The example also of Hercules is most famous who Iuiled in the affection he bore to Omphale Queene of the Lidians he was brought for her loue to apparell himselfe like a girle and spin amongst damosels and yoong maides as a woman wherefore in the Poet Propertius he thus debateth with himselfe In long side gowne I Lydian webs did spinne This seruile function following euery day My breast was couered with a partlet thinne And with these hands I could the girle well play And euen so in like manner is that of Theban Hemon a notable example who for loue killed himselfe before the tombe of Antigona the daughter of Oedipus and Iocasta as also that of Sappho who threw herselfe headlong from the Leucadian promontorie for Phaoes sake whereupon Angelus Politianus in his Elegies writeth of her Sappho Virago who in death did oft exclaime Of loue both honour to Leucadian sea and blame That of Phedra who hanged her selfe for loue of Hippolitus Ausonius saying of her I haue perswaded what I can trie nowe some other tell me whom marrie let Phedra or Elisa giue thee an halter or a sword That of Didoe who cast her-selfe into the burning flame for Aeneas his loue whereupon Silius Italicus saith Deepe wounded Dido stands vpon the burning pile Commaunding future Tyrians warre to make The treacher Troian he to mid-seas gets the while And spreading saile the shoare doth now for sake And last of all that of Phillides daughter to Licurgus king of Thrace who hanged her selfe vpon a beame for loue of Demophoon sonne to Theseus whose death is by Pamphilus Sassus described in these verses following Phillis to me of death a noble pattern giues Hangd was her bodie yet her liuing fame suruiues Was not that folly of Aristoteles verie great who offered incense to a concubine he had as to a goddesse as also that of Nero who married himselfe to Sporo a yoong boy and Doriphoro his freeman with that of Periander Corynthian who according to Herodotus lay with the harlot Melissa when she was dead Is not this of Semiramis a wonderfull example of Folly who according to Caelius in his thirtie seuenth booke and Iustine in his first grew foolishly inamoured with a Bull Of the shepheard Crathis who as Volterran affirmeth was taken with the loue of a shee-goate This of Aristophanes Ephesian who according to Plutarch in his Parallelles was besotted with a female asse Of Fuluius Romanus who by the same Authors testimonie exceedingly affected a mare by whom he had a daughter called Hippona Of Cyparisso that fell in loue with a Doe Of Pigmalion and Alchiades Rhodian who were each of them affected with the loue of a dumbe Statue And last of all of Serses who sincerely loued one Platano Of latter daies Galleazzo Mantuano as Pontanus reporteth being nuzled in fancie with a Pauian girle at her commandement when in iest shee bad him goe drowne himselfe cast himselfe foolishly into the riuer Tesinus And yet of fresher memory Tiron Milanese ouergone with the loue of a fish in a Pond which hee tearmed il Gobbo or the bunch-backt it hauing beene eaten by certaine good fellowes remained many daies afflicted out of measure for this losse neither could he any waies be comforted he alwaies thinking that the death of his fish Gobbo would likewise draw speedily after it his owne life These bee therefore amorous Fooles recommended to God Cupid his protection whom to this ende in their behalfe wee affectionately sollicite with this inuocation following An inuocation to god Cupid for amorous Fooles GOD saue thee faire winged child al haile most gentle son of Venus liue for euer thou most excellent quiuered Archer and yet once more Viue thou discreete warriour in the Marshall enterprises of Loue All these Fooles taken in thy net catched with thy baite and in thy prison captiuated as humble subiects of thy dominion and Empire they with all humble submission entreat thee that thou wouldest be touched with their torments and haue that commiseration of their tribulations and griefe which in so tender and effeminate a god as thou art is not onely thought requisite but euen proper and euerie way pertinent to thy deitie Remooue thy snares take away thy hooks put vp thy arrowes lay aside thy bow shew thy selfe vnto them naked disarmed to the ende they may not be affraid of those weapōs wherwith somtimes offended they haue sufficiently prooued what hurt they carrie with them The which thing if thou shalt vouchsafe to effect in that notable Temple thou