sayd Mihi mundus (k) The world is crucified to me and I to it crucifixus est ego mundo In a word let not the soule be touched but let my Honour be blasted according to that accoumpt which the blinde world is wont to make of Honour that it may serue as a part of the punishement which is due to me The third that at the same instant his hat was brought him and one of his people being desirous to take his Montiera from off his head what are you doing sayth he They answered they would giue him his hat But he bad them let it alone saying That it imported not and he added with a soft voyce Looke heer a whyle they would faine honour this head of mine which I am to loose within few houres for my sinnes The VVill being then read and shut he throwing himselfe as it were vpon me with a most modest kind of sweetnes said Father I am already reconciled but I would faine make a generall Confession of my whole life to your Reuerence And althogh since I came into prison I did the same in effect at the instance of my Lady my Mother yet know that I had then no light or feeling of my sinnes in respect of that which now I discouer in my hart For One thing it is deare Father for a man to confesse himselfe when he is in the sight of death and another to do it not thinking of death or at least but considering it as a far off And so calling for a (l) There are euery wher to be had litle bookes of addresse wherby men are taught how to confesse their sins exactly little booke which he had aboue in the prison shewing a man the way how to confesse his sinnes exactly well which his good MOTHER had â—rought to him some dayes â—efore he began his confesâ—â—on Wherin my Lord God â—oth knowe that as it is â—awfull for me by that most â—mple authority which himself gaue me to declare as much therof as I should thinke fit so if I were able to expresse it I say not that Rome would be astonished at it but all Italy would be so For if I speake of the exact manner that he held for as much as concerned the particuler descending euen to idle wordes anâ— anie other (m) Confession is no such cursory or superficiall thing as they which know it not conceaue say such littlâ— thing me thought I waâ— hearing some well exerciseâ— Religious man In the explicating of circumstancesâ— and the vnfolding of intricate and intangled cases iâ— was as if he had bin some profound Deuine In relating the determinate number the various kindes of his sins he made proofe of one who had a most fresh and happy memory This rare Gentleman pawsing now and then betweene the Confession of his sinnes and suffering certaine teares to fall quietly vpon my knees he would be wiping them away and that being done he would often vse to say with sighes O Father how (n) He had great reason to say so good hath our Lord been to me Let him now be blessed as often and yet more often then I haue offended him in my former life Why lest he was accusing himselfe of his faults he would expresse theÌ„ in certaine few but they all liuely and most pious wordes and in som particuler cases so dearely tender that in his countenance one might see euident signes of how his very hart was euen rent within So that between (o) He pawsed sometymes between both to resthimselfe to recall his sins more freshly to his memory for though it were interrupted it was al but one ConfessioÌ„ till the Absolution were giuen the times of his confessioÌ„ the Confortatori doubting least perhaps he might grow to faint would be asking him if he needed not somewhat to restore comfort himself To which he answered speaking priuatly more then once to me This (p) An admirable Contrition only comfort or restoratiue I would desire That my very hart might burst for griefe and satisfaction might so be (q) To the iustice of God his sorrow being dignified by the death passion of Iesus Christ our Lord. giuen for my sinnes if perhaps euen that would serue the turne But for as much as to my thincking he did melt as it were by so enlardging himselfe in his Confession I had an eye vpon him and I ventured to say thus vnto him My deare Signor Troilo be not so excessiuely curious and particuler in accusing your selfe especially of those your former sinnes which lye not now vpon your soule O (r) See how truely this hart was touched with sorrow for his sins and the knowledge of himself Father sayd he I haue wasted my whole life in offending God and will you haue me or shall I content my selfe in one single houre to demaund pardon of so many offences So long in sinning and so short in confessing my sinnes That I am trouble some to you my deare Father I well discouer but what can I doe withall if I be forced to it And heer againe he began to make for himselfe a very bath of teares And interpretinge what I had said after his owne conceite he added with teares redoubled And this also do my sinnes deserue by way of punishment that hauing cast so much and so much time away in preiudice of my saluation I should now want time wherein I might euen confesse my sinnes Pardon me deare Father and endure this trouble for the loue of God for you shall (s) To do a good worke by the grace for the loue of God is meritorious for so Christ our Lord hath made it merit in his sight by helping this poore soule of mine towards saluation I will remaine with obligation to you when I shall go by the mercy of God your good meanes into the place of rest And finding that still he grew in teares I confesse my weaknes for I was not able to containe my selfe from expressing also tendernes by teares As soone as he perceaued this he said Father your Reuerence weepes and yet you weepe not for your selfe but for me and yet you will not haue me weepe for my selfe But then both of vs being silent for a time he after began againe to confesse with those accustomed short words but full of substance and propriety making me write down al those things which he confided to me for the dischardge of his conscience Whilest I was writinge he would needes for his contentment hold the Standish in his owne hands and read those lines when I had done and kisse them and then bath them in teares But of nothing did he accuse himselfe so much as of all that which had any relation to the Lady his Mother Nor am I able by any meanes to expresse with what aboundance of teares he accompanied those accusations of himselfe For beginning euen from his very Infancy Father sayth
in a fashioÌ„ very sutable to the occasion Then one of them sayd to him in this manner My Lord the houre which God hath prefixed for you is euen run out render your selfe into his mercifull handes And he without being troubled otherwise then by fetching a sighe which yet was both soft short did answere thus Let God be blessed behold I render my selfe to him and dispose you of me And so those good and charitable Brothers of that Congregation with some Fathers of the Society of Iesus casting theÌ„selues round about him and endeauouring to sweeten the bitternes of that newes by discreet decent meanes did comfort him the best they could He yielded to all did euen preuent them then knocking his brest and bowing down his head and kissing the Crucifixe he demanded pardon and like gentle waxe did suffer himself to be managed by them all One of those Confortatori did before all other thinges put him in mind of making his Confession Vpon the very first naming whereof recollecting himselfe he sayd And (k) The first thing he did was to confesse himself where is the Confessour And they shewing him a Priest of their Company with his Albe (l) These are some of the sacerdotall vestmentes which are vsed in the celebrating of Masse vpon his backe and his Stole about his necke that afterward he might say Masse in the proper tyme the first thing he did was to be confessed and we all went out to leaue the place free to them He being confessed and we returned we began to dispose him towards a good end by diuers spiritual exercises fit for that purpose And after many had spokeÌ„ I also beganne thus to say Signor Troilo This is that passage which whosoeuer doth once make well doth acquire eternall felicity if once it be ill made it draweth after it an euerlasting misery It now imports your Lordship to make it well that you may escape that eternity of torment This passage is narrow vneuen hard full of stones and thornes all the world doth see it and your Lordship finds it by experience but (m) Our Lord Iesus doth euen the vneuen way of death behold sweet Iesus who by his goodnes will euen it all Cast your selfe my Lord vpon him and then you will be able to say with courage Omnia (n) I can do al thinges in him that coÌ„forts me possum in eo qui me confortat He answered thus with a cheerefull and euen smiling couÌ„tenance Omnia possum in eo qui me comfortat By the mercy of my deere Iesus I know the necessity of making this passage well I acknowledge his prouidence ouer me and to his prouidence I add that of his ioue Ror as much as with extraordinary loue it is that he hath brought me hither I see it I coÌ„fesse it And how often deere Father haue I beene as I may say in the very iawes of death which if at that tyme it had seized vpon me infallibly this soule and body of myne had perished Behold (o) He acknow ledgeth and accepteth of Gods prouidence with great alacrity the cunning of my Christ to saue me he hath made choyce of this way And then bowing baring his head and with great life of spirit raysing himself from his chayre he further added I accept of this election which God hath made then casting himselfe vpon his knees before the Altar Nay I thanke thee sayth he O my good Father for thy so faythfull and louing care of me who haue not only beene a wandring but a contumacious Sonne of thyne To thee it doth belong to smooth and euen the ruggednes of this way since thou hast been pleased to addresse me by it And so bowing his face euen almost downe to the ground he remayned a while in menâ—all Prayer Being therfore wished to sit downe he was scarce setled in that posture when turning towardes me he sayd thus in myne eare You whom through my good fortune I haue heere to help me in this so weighty and high affayre in the place of God do yow commaund me I (p) He giueth himselfe away to his Ghostly Father giue my selfe as bound into your hands The Prince hath disposed of my body do you as much with my soule I sayd therfore to him I first desyre my Lord that you make the protestation (q) This is a declaration of his fayth with an entiere submission to the good will of God which is wont to be beliuered by such as are going to God Which being publikely pronounced by him with great sense and spirit he taking vp repeating my wordes I aduised him further thus Yow shall now make all those actes of Contrition which I shall call to your mind hauing the eyes therof first bent vpon God being offended as a Creatour as a Preseruer as a Iustifier and as a Glorifier Next vpon your selfe who haue offended him being his creature his household seruant his Christian slaue and one so deeply obliged by his benefits Thirdly vpon the offences themselues which you haue committed and be sory at your hart for hauing committed them and (r) For who can euer call to mind all his particuler sins if not in particuler for them all at least for the (h) He had already confessed his sinne now he is but exhorted to renew his sorrow for them most greiuous of them which shall represent theÌ„selues to your memory Fourthly vpon the good which you haue omitted the tyme which you haue lost and the yeares that you haue mispent Fiftly vpon the scandall which you haue giuen And if any thing more be to be done if (t) We cannot be saued vnles first we make restitution as well of fame as of goods if it lye in our power to make restitution eyther of fame or goods if to pardon others or to aske pardon your self restore and pardon and aske pardon If to perfourme any vowes or fulfill any promises performe and fullfill them Or finally if you leaue any debts or if you will make any signification of your repentance and pious end you are now to put your hand to worke To these thinges he offered himselfe most readily and did execute them all with so great deuotion that euery one now began to change his style in speaking to him And finding that whereas before they thought they should haue to do but with a yong man or rather but with a youth and weakeling (u) He infinitly ouercame their expectatioÌ„ they were now to treate with a manly generous and ripe Christian far superiour to that which might peraduenture haue been expected of him one of the Confortatori began with greate discretion to discourse vpon the horrour of Death which our most sweete Christ Iesus did by his agony dispossesse of bitternes Confide saith he and cast your thoughts vpon him and say Pone (x) Place me O Lord neere to thee let
the hand of any other fight against me me Domine iuxta te cuiusuis manus pugnet contra me And if now you find any bitter tast in death in this short night as without fayle you will say Pater (y) O my Father not as I will but as thou wilt thy will be done mi non sicut ego volo sed sicut tu fiat voluntas tua The contrite Lord made answere thus The wickednes of my life doth fright me more then the bitternes of my death O how wrechedly haue I spent these eighteene yeares How ill haue I vnderstood my Sauiour How vngratefull haue I beene for his noble fauours How rebelliously haue I liued against his lawes And now haue I run like a wild vnbridled horse in these later yeares of mine without any manner of restraint wheresoeuer the present occasions or conuersations or (z) The sinner is only to blame himselfe for hauing sinned rather for I haue sayd ill wheresoeuer myne owne passions and blind affections had a mind to plunge me It is I and none but I who did precipitate me and yet you bid me fixe my thoughts and hopes vpon God and say Pone me Domine iuxtate cuiusuis manus pugnet contra me fiat voluntas tua Vpon this another of the Confortatori did thus proceed It is an acte of magnanimity not to feare the angry face of death of humility to acknowledge our offences but of confidence to hope for pardon as your Lordship doth who well may say Propter nome tuum Domine propitiaberis peccato meo muitum est enim For thy names sake O Lord thou shalt forgiue my sin for it is great O how great sayd Signor Troilo Euen as greate after a manner as is the mercy of God which is immense The Proueditere then sayd Your Lordship may if you so be pleased make your last VVill and Testament to the end that no other thought may sollicite you but of your soule alon Heereupon the Baron without the least delay by way of answere did bid thē write And hauing taken out of his pocket a little note which he carryed about him he did suddainly dictate his Testament wherin he deliuered some particulers which in my opinion are very considerable First (a) The considerations which may be made vpon the manner of penning his will of tender Deuotiō for he recommended his soule to God by most deare and religious wordes Secondly of Ripenes which was more then of a young man because in a most particuler manner he had remembrance of all his seruants Thirdly of a most liuely Contrition because with a most profound internall affection of mind he demaunded pardon of many euen by name Fourthly of great Magnanimity because he coniured the Lady his Mother that she would pardon all his aduersaryes as he himselfe did pardon them a thousand tymes ouer Beseeching (b) what a true and noble Christian hart was this her by a long and christian circuite of wordes that she would neuer resent his death but he layd the fault vpon himselfe in al things Fiftly of Religious Piety leauing large almes to many Churches other holy places accommodating many poore (c) This is a deuotion and charity much vsed in Italy Virgins with dowryes at the particuler discretion and to be performed by the care of his heyres that God might the rather haue mercy on him Sixtly of entiere Iustice because he tooke care that euen more then was due by him should be restored Seauenthly of noble Gratitude because he rewarded whosoeuer had done him any scruice in prison Eightly of affectuous Reuerence because he did in a most sweet and deere manner aske pardon of the Lady his Mother of the rest of his kinred besids the expressing of other complements Hauing ended his last VVill VVell Syrs sayth he behold we haue this residue of tyme now wholy free for the care of our soule And turning towards me he sayd It (d) He speakes of his soule for as much as concerned the guiding of it vnder God is in your hand and therefore dispose of it for this only is now in my power to giue you I then by way of answere sayd Giue your selfe my Lord to IESVS I do so sayd he and he sayd it instantly And I againe Giue your selfe wholy to him He sayd I do Consecrate yourselfe he stil sayd I do Make your selfe sayd I entierely his But how sayth he O Father shall I make my selfe entierely his if I be vnworthy and if perhaps I be an enemy (e) As al grieuous sinners are if they do not throughly repēt which no man can be sure that he hath sufficiently done though he may haue great hope thereof of his But in the meane tyme whilest the VVill was in writing he that wrote it put vs in mind that it was to be publikely read that so it might be shut vp with a due (f) A restament is not valide there if it haue not seauen witnesses at the least number of witnesses And whylest this was in doing that is whylest the Notary was reading of it three thinges of some consideration did occurre The first that whē he read how he recommended his soule to God My body sayth he drawing neere me according to his custome I dispose not of for now it is no longer myne It once was myne and I would it had not beene so but (g) He acknowledgeth the prouidence and iustice of God in al things it is more thē reason that I hauing had so great care of it in my life tyme for my punishment should not be suffered to haue any power ouer it now in my death Let them therefore doe with it what they will for I sacrifice it to God whatsoeuer it be Father will not such an oblation as this doe me good It will said I without doubt it will and what (h) For he that giues his body doth shew in good earnest that he hath already giuen his soule more acceptable oblation can be made to our Lord then that of the body The second That when the Legacies were read it being obserued by the manner of expressing one of them that he deliuered himselfe as faulty in a certaine thing wherein indeed he was not so and therefore the VVill was to be redressed as I desired which serued not only as before for securing of his conscience but for the sauing also of his honour Vpon this putting off his Montiera or capp O Father saith he and he did it halfe smiling are you now taking care of my reputation and of the puntillios of Honour and of that smoake or vanity of the world Let my soule be saued let al the vaine Honour perish which I eyther had or might haue had Do you not remember that which euen (i) This is not mentioned heer before but he said also many other thinges which are not mentioned in this short Relatiō now you
turne my selfe more securely then to my deare Iesus Yea and yet if I were able I would not turne any way but to him It is true that I am forced but yet I am content withall One of the Confortatori then replied It is inough Signor Troilo So great and so liberall is the goodnes of God that he accepteth all and he doth it with delight And one of the Chiesa nuoua said That although our Lord receaued a Precept or Commandment that he should dye yet neuerthelesse it is affirmed it is true that he dyed voluntarily And hauing accompanied this speach of his with diuers choice examples one of our Fathers shut vp that discourse with shewing by what means that which was necessary (b) That punishment which is imposed by necessity may be made voluntary by a voluntary acceptation therof might so grow to be voluntary by a voluntary accepting of it and that so much more it would be meritorious as it should more willingly be imbraced Then teach me sayd the Baron how I may make this necessary death truly voluntary And then certaine deuout and apt waies how to do it being declared by the Gouernour of the Congregation of the Confortatori and imbraced by the Baron I said Perhaps Signor Troilo we weary you to much How can you weary me said he These discourses make the night short to me and they make my disastre fortunat And heere all were silent for a while when he rising vp for he was sitting said That he would speake with the Father And drawing neere me the (c) Whome the patient did accompany therin Confortatore said the Confiteor that being ended I desire saith he if it please you Father to call againe to mind some of the things aforsaid both for the better repetition of them for the additiō of some others Which I refusing out of the assurance I had that it was not necessary he said And it is possible deare Father that you will not giue me this last contentment VVill you not permitt at least that I may satissiy myselfe with confessing the offences which I haue committed against God And besides doth not your Reuerence remember that we must speake togeather of (d) The Father it seems had made him som such promise before pennance And I answered Let that Pennance be to dye and to dye well Then teach me that said he And I thus to him Offer now this death of yours to God with your whole hart in pennance for the sinnes with you haue committed I do saith he offer it with my hart and with my mouth and it grieues me as our Lord doth know that I haue not this night a thousand heades that in this one of mine they might be al cut off and a thousand liues that they might all be lost Nay (e) How much doth he giue to God how little doth he thinke it to be yet how faythfully doth he acknowledge it all to be of God I confesse and know that euen that pennance would yet fall short but since more I cannot more I know not what to do and since more I haue not I can giue no more and euen the doing and giuing of this little do I acknowledge to proceede from the hand of God I told him by the way of reply that it was well and that he should still be doing so And when sayd I you are laying your head vpon the blocke say thus in your hart O Lord by this act of myne I protest to do pennance for my sins as if I had a thousand heads and a thousand liues and I acknowledge and confesse that it is all but little But I doubt Signor Troilo whether then you will be able to remember this for then perhapps you will be as it were not your self It is no trifle to looke death in the face take my word for that The magnanimous Lord made this answere I wil not presume so much vpon my selfe but I (f) He can neuer faile who putteth all confidence in God none in himselfe hope well and confide greatly in God that he will not let it fall out of my memory And if by many accident you should perceaue that I were vnworthy of so great a grace doe me the fauour to bring me in mind of it for you shall find me ready to put it in execution In the meane whyle I beseech your Reuerence tell me somewhat els towardes this end of myne and that quickly for the tyme hath winges I bad him leaue the care of that to me For I wil sayd I go intimating from time to tyme whatsoeuer you are to thinke vpon whatsoeuer you shall be to say euē til your last breath And (g) He exhorteth him to a great deuotiō to his good Angell very now you shall begin to make a strait friendship with your Good Angell And first aske pardon of him with your hart for the little gratitude which you haue expressed for the Custody that he hath affoarded you which hath binso incessant so patient so diligent so full of loue Vpon which wordes he sayd casting himselfe vpon his knees Yea not only with my mouth but with my hart I begge pardon of him for the much and much ingratitude which I haue vsed notwithstanding his so great benignity and loue to me and so kissing my knee he sate downe againe So that I proceeded and said Consider then with your selfe that your (h) Saint Hierome sayth expresly That euery soule hath an Augaius Custos assigned to it by Almighty God from the first instance of the birth till the last of life Vide Hier. lib. 3. conc in 18. cap. Matt. The holy Scriptures and holy Fathers doe also abound in proofe of the ministery of Angella in the help of men good Angel now is heer who euen from your very first beginning when you were borne so much more at this houre which is so full of danger doth assist you and especially in six particulers First he hinders the impetuous assaults of the diuell and weakens the force of all those maligne spirits who do at this instant conspire to the damnation of your soule Secondly he breathes into your hart Preparation Generosity Deuotion and Contrition Thirdly he lightneth this Darcknes this Anguish this Death Fourthly with great sollicitude he carrieth foreward and backward those messages which passe betweene God and you he gathers vp your sighs your very countenances and the humiliations of your hart there is not one of them which he suffereth to loose his way Fiftly he negotiateth with other Angells of superiour (i) We read in holy scripture Daniel 10. how one Angell helpeth another for the good of men both the holy Scriptures and holy Fathers do euery where abound with shewing the tender care that the holy Angells haue of all thinges that concerne vs either in soule body or goods Quiers so to procure effectual assistances for your
restore my selfe to the seruice of God Nor could euer any Sonne desire any fauour or contentment of a Mother which myne did not of her selfe impart to me And I on the other side haue serued but to make her life most vnfortunate by this period of myne I beseech our Lord forgiue me to receaue the future affliction of her hart in present discount of my offences Then towardes the end of his Confession I desire sayd he a fauour of you now deare Father which you must not deny me It is that I may haue liberty to lament my sinnes with teares and that by them I may giue testimony to the Diuine Maiesty of the (g) That so the penitent himselfe by finding it might haue increase of comfort griefe wherewith my harte aboundes within Weepe out sayd I since our Lord doth giue you such a desire of weeping I had scarce brought forth this last worde when allready there beganne to fall a most aboundant showre of teares from his eyes in such sort (h) An admirable and almost miraculous Contrition as that he bathed a good part of one of my armes and my sleeue was as wett through as if it had rayned from aboue Which accident I obseruing after some halfe quarter of an houre and doubting least his hart might so discharg it selfe by his eyes rather for the apprehension which he might haue of death then otherwise I desired that for the loue of Iesus he would quiet himselfe not multiply his affliction nor continue to torment his mind in that manner To this he answered Father I giue you my fayth that I do not at all be wayle my death but I do only and purely lament the offences which I haue committed against Almighty God And (i) A happy coniunction of Christiā sorrow with noble coutage I haue so much hope in the mercy of my deare Lord that not only I shall shead no teares for my death but not so much as change my countenance Father I bewayle my most vnfortunate life and not my most happy death That life was indeed most vnfortunate whereas this death is most happy for in fine if in that I liued an enemy to God I hope in this I shall dye his friend Well then sayd I proceed in your Confession that so you may dye the friend of God and lay a part of your tears aside the whyle Whereupon The most obedient young Gentleman accommodatinge himselfe to my direction did iust proceed where he had left At this I wondred so much themore for as much as I my selfe had forgotten it though I also had one of those little bookes in my hand which instruct how a Confession may be well made But he going on did lay before me as if it had bin in one single prospect the whole course of his life with so great clarity and breuity that I found my selfe as obliged to aske him if during many dayes before he had not applied himselfe to make such a preparation To which the yong Noble man made this very answere So great is the light as I haue already insinuated which my deare Lord Iesus vouchsafes to giue me at this instant of my whole life that euen whylest I am confessing me thinkes I behold all my actions (k) This was a very extraordinary supernaturall fauous of Almighty God as in a glasse and I read all my thoughtes and wordes as in a booke And without doubt so it was For he without euer mistaking a worde did so call all his sinnes to minde that by that time he wanted little of hauing declared them al distinctly Only at the very end as it were of his Confession he returned to repeate some thinges which he had already said and I doubting that he did so as hauing forgotten what he had expressed before I told him of that inaduertence as I reputed it when yet he made me this answere I know well deare Father that I repeate some thinges but I do it to the end that I may now more perfectly detest them be confounded in my selfe And especially (l) How desirous this soule was to make God amends since I haue passed the greatest part of my life in such thinges as these to the displeasure of our Lord I do now for the better pleasing of him passe this tyme of my death in a misliking remembrance of the same And if it be troublesome to your Reuerence as I know it is so often to heare my so many offences do you remember once for all that this soule is of a sinner for whome Christ dyed Nay said I if your Lordship haue any such apprehension you may repeate as much and as often as it pleaseth you for I only aduised you of it before as thinking that perhaps you might haue done it by errour The errour sayth he was myne and a grieuous errour it was to offend them so many wayes who did euer stand in my defence But howsoeuer that be in this respect as in some others I shall dye contented in that I can neuer satisfy my selfe with cofessing my faults to you deare Father VVhich now by the goodnes of God are as well knowne by me as heeretofore they were little esteemed are now as bitterly lamēted as heertofore they gaue me gust though it were a false one I (m) The man did euen melt betweene griefe loue wish Othou most sweet Sauiour of my soule that I had as wel a thousand tongues that so I might fully confesse them a thousand eyes that so I might bitterly bewayle them and a thousand harts that so eternally I might detest them And that this grief for my sinnes committed against God might so breake my hart as the instrument of Iustice will take my head for them which I haue committed concerning men I do good Father by the goodnes of God know what a sinner I am As a sinner I lamēt my selfe and as a sinner I will dye but a sinner all humbled contrite and with my teares I will make my Funeralls then suffer me to performe them after myne owne fashion And heer cuen I not (n) I cannot blame him being able to containe my selfe from weeping he obserued it and said thus Most happy Funerals are therfore these of mine which are solemnized by the seruāts of God Yet this part belonges not to you but only as being a Father to my soule VVho knowes but that by these mutuall teares and this exchange of tendernes my impure conscience may indeed be cleansed Thus both of vs being silent for a while he then proceeded VVell my good Father it is now high time that by the (o) This authority was giuen to his true Church by Iesus Christ our Lord in his name by his power it is exercised Authority which God hath giuen you to loose and bind men on earth you loose me from so many chaines of sinns which hang vpon me To the en◠that as
you haue taught me 〈◊〉 may say Auditui meo dabiâ— gaudium laetitiam exultabunt ossa humiliata 〈◊〉 And first do you giue me Absolution and then I may performe my Pennance Though indeed what Pennance carrying proportion to my sinnes is your Reuerence able to impose At this he cast himselfe at my feete and bowed his head to my knee where I had layd my left hand and he all bathed it with teares and kissed it and expected the Penance and Absolution Which I gaue him fully in forme of a (p) This is an application of the superabundant merits of Iesus Christ our Lord to the soules which stand in need thereof Plenary Iubiley according to the most ample priuiledges (q) By the Popes which are granted to them of that Congregation which is called of the (r) It is called a congregation of Misericordia because it is so great a worke of charity mercy wherupon they imploy themselues Misericordia Being absolued and hauing done his Pennance with incredible affection of mind he sate downe againe by my direction and then the rest did come and circle him in round about after the accustomed manner I then spake first to him after this sort Most Illustrious Lord Troilo our Blessed Saniour IESVS Christ whom here we haue present did by dying vpon the Crosse gine remedy in his person this night to three thinges amongst many others He (s) An application full of life comfort dyed in the flower vigour of his youth that your Lordship might not haue too much tendernes compassion of your owne tender youth and so might say O but why is my life taken away in so tender years And this is the first He dyed and he dyed of a violent death that to your Lordshippe it might not seeme insupportable to dye vpon necessity and so you might say O but why is the flower of my yeares cut off by a violent hand and this is the second He dyed of the most reproachfull death which in those times was inflicted that it might not seeme strang to your Lordship to dye by the hand of Iustice and so you might say O but why died not I in my cradle or at least by some other natural accident Nay if your Lordship will accept this death in so tender yeares you offer him the best part of your tyme. By dying of a violent death you may make that which is necessary to be voluntary and by dying of a dishonourable death taking it as a Pennance for your sinnes you may fly the shame of that last terrible day And so much the better you may accept therof for that you are not to dye in publique vpon the Bridge as the ordinary Custome beares but (t) It is there accounted of lesse dishonour to be put priuatly to death They who dye priuatly dye within the Castle they who publâ—kely at the foot of the Bridge priuately heere below in the Court as is wont to be vsed towards your Peeres I added also some other coÌ„siderations so ended my speach To which the Baro who was euer ready made this answere And (u) How wise the grace of God is able to make a very yong man vpon a suddaine I O Father for as much as concernes the first dye willingly in this fresh age of myne because thus I shal be sure not to offend my Lord any more And from this instant I offer him my yeares my age my life and a hundred yeares and a hundred ages and a hundred liues As for the second I will make a vertue of necessity and being to dye perforce and according to reason I will dye willingly that so I may yield willingly vnto force willingly giue satisfaction to reason But as for the third I could wish for a more ignominious death And be you pleased to know that to haue dyed in publique would haue giuen me I know not what increase of consolation gust For so I might haue hoped by (x) Because publike sinnes require publike satisfaction publique Pennance to haue made a better amendes for my publique crimes And God doth know that I take no contentment to receaue the fauour of dying priuately But yet howsoeuer if the determination which is made be such I resist it not Our Lord will accept the promptitude of my wil. Heereupon the Proueditore tooke vp the speach and sayd Let your Lordship accommodate it selfe to the will and prouidence of God who hath not only one way of ariuing to saue our soules nor one only means of drawing them to him He leadeth one by one meanes and others by another It importeth not that (y) Mony of Gods iudgements are secret but they are all iust his Iudgmentes be hidden from vs but it sufficeth that they are iust Who can tell if your Lordship should haue dyed in any other sort theÌ„ this whether or no you should haue bin saued I am he sayth the Baron who can tell you that for I should haue tumbled headlong into hell Do you not know how God hath proceeded with me It is iust as a Huntes-man would do when he would take a wild beast but he would haue him brought to his hand whole and sound and not to be torne by the teeth or pawes of doggs nor strocken by the bow nor bruized by nets or snares He driues this beast sometymes one way and sometymes another but neuer lets slip the doggs nor dischargeth the arrow nor spreads he the net or Toyle vpon the ground or sets the snare but at the most with some outcryes or els by throwing of some stones he rowseth him and addresseth him towardes the place designed so long doth he driue the beast by seuerall wayes that at last he bringes him thither where he would haue him The Huntes-man knowes this well and did long expect him there he takes him and enioyes him all sound and safe I am (z) Note how wittily and piously he makes this application to himself he O my Good Iesus who haue beene this beast hunted hither and thither but thou hadst a mind to haue me safe thou hadst a mind to haue me sound And so thou didst not permit that I should be torne with dogs nor pierced by arrow nor taken by nets or Toyles or snares when thou deliueredst me out of so many dangers of death in which though very young I haue found my selfe wherin if I had dyed without faile I had perished for all eternity Thou didst only throw stones at me and thou cryedst out after me when by so many admonitions and inspirations thou didst solicite me And now I repent my selfe that I was so deafe to them But what meruaile if I were deafe who after a sort was (a) By sinne dead And thus hath his goodnes conducted me to this straite pace without my knowing of it that so I may be forced to leap into his lapp For whither am I able to
saluation In most particuler manner he moueth S. Michael the Archangell that he will defend you in this night Sixtly he solliciteth my good Angell also that he may procure me to be a competent instrument in this passage which you are making towardes your saluation Salute him therfore and say thus with me Angele Dei O (k) He pondereth the prayer which Catholikes say dayly more often then so to their good Angell Angele Dei qui custos es mei me tibi commissum pietate superna hodie illumina custodi rege guberna O thou Angell of God who art my keeper appointed by the goodnes of God illuminate me this day preserue me rule and gouerne me Amen thou Angell of God so ill knowne and so ill vsed by me qui custos es mei who keepest me with so continual care and perfect loue me tibi commissum who am committed to thee being a man so faulty and brought by the prouidence of God to this passage but yet a sinner who by his mercy thy prayers is contrite for his sinnes pietate superna by the goodnes of God for I find no desert but do cordially confesse much demerit in hac morte hac nocte in this death which is due to me for my offences in this last period of my life illumina custodi rege guberna do thou illuminate defend protect and gouerne me Amen This good Noble Man did repeate these wordes with affectuous and abundant teares euen by his countenance one might see his very hart split in his body And not contenting himselfe to say it only once he would needs repeate it then three times and afterwardes he did it againe so much more often the same night as that all the times ariued I thinke to ten letting me know withall that he had not felt greater solace and gust in any one spirituall exercise then in this Secondly sayd I you shal take the Glorious Virgin for your (l) To pray for him as one man may do for another though all the Saints much more the glorious Mother of God do performe it in a far more excellent manner intercessour and then S. Iohn the Baptist and S. Paul who were both condeÌ„ned to the losse of their heads as your Lordship is It is true sayd he that they were condemned as I am but with this difference That they suffered innocent I for my faults and therefore I I accuse my selfe of such and such and such offences which I haue committed against God VVhich howsoeuer I confessed before yet for the reasons which I haue already touched I do willingly repeate the same After he had ended his Confession and receaued Absolution vpon his knees I desired him to sit down againe that the wonted company might come about him And euer some one of them would be taking vp some verse of the holy Scripture which might be appropriated to the present occasion As for example Viam iniquitatis amoue à me de lege tua miserere mei Suscipe seruum tuum in bonum iustificationes tuas edoce me Bonum mihi quia humiliasti me vt discam iustificationes tuas Cognoui Domine quia aequitas iudicia tua in veritate tua humiliastime Fiat cor meum immaculatum in iustificationibus tuis vt non confundar Miferere mei Deus secundum magnam misericordiam tuam secundum multitudinem miserationum tuarum dele iniquitatem meam Erraui ficut ouis quae perijt quaere seruum tuum Domine Deus propitius esto mihi peccatori Deus in adiutorium meum intende And a hundred other such as these which now and then were declared by some one of (m) The Resigious men declared them though the Confortatori might represeÌ„t them vs according to the present occasioÌ„ wherin he tooke much contentment But (n) He was most tenderly deuoted to the B. Virgin especially he had great coÌ„fort in vsing these other Iaculatory Prayers Maria mater gratiae Mater misericordiae Tu nos ab hoste protege hora mortis suscipe repeating often these last wordes hora mortis suscipe And againe Eiaergo aduocata nostra illos tuos misericordes oculos ad nos conuerte Iesum benedictum fructum ventris tui mihi post hanc noctem ostende O clemens O pia O dulcis Virgo Maria. Ora pro me peccatore indigno in hac hora mortis meae Amen Amen AmeÌ„ Recordare Iesu pie Quod sâ—â— causa tuae viae Ne me perdas illâ— die c. In this exercise thoâ—â— brothers of the Congregatiâ—â—â— of the Misericordia were very perfect and discreete deliuering out in fit times a greate number of these versicles without importuning or perplexing him And so also did other Religious men according to the occasion without either interrupting the one the other or yet ouerweariyng the yong Noble Man and they also brought thinges so as to accompany them with certaine motiues and considerations with breuity but with great life of deuotion When these thinges were ended I said It will not be amisse that we recite the Letanies if these Gentlemen shall thincke it fit And I said the yong Lord if you and they be so contented will be he that shall recite them They all made answere in the negatiue saying to him Your Lordshippe would but weary your selfe too much Nothing lesse saith he but to me it will be of extreame contentment And so w th out more dispute they put the book into his hand and kneeling euen by me against a fourme he began the Letanyes to which we answearing Ora pro eo Pray for him there (o) It must needes be an obiect of great compassion was not a man amongst vs who accompanied not the words of his mouth with the tears of his eyes And especially when with incredible affection and deuotion he repeated these wordes A mala morte A porestate diaboli A poenis inferni libera me Domine Deliuer me O Lord from an euill death from the power of the diuell and from the tormentes of hell But (p) Nothing but only his sins could moue him to teares he O admirable repose of that mind did not shead one teare Nay my selfe being in teares who held vp the candle by him and not being able to represse them he stirred me with his elbow and made other signes to them that so giuing ouer their weepinge they might answere him And speaking of it to me after ward he said That there wanted little of their making him also weep for company When the Letanies were ended he sayd turning to me Father say you the prayers ouer me that follow And then he tooke the light out of my hand and so giuing me the booke I said those praiers ouer him which are wont to be said ouer such as are in their last agony CommeÌ„ao (q) These are as admirable and affectuous praiers as any are vsed in the whol office of the
any thing He neuer placed himselfe with any shew of wearines vpon his chaire He neuer shewed any vnquietnes He neuer wept but whylest he was making his confession He neuer sought to ease himselfe in the course of Nature He neuer had any thirst He neuer fainted He was neuer sleepy He was neuer ouerwroght with sorrow He was euer fresh and strong hauing been in that night so many and many tymes vpō his knees He euer answered readily and with a liuely voice His memory neuer failed or so much as wauered He was handsomely and modestly apparelled He (m) A strange image of perfection was this yonge Noble Man spake not so much as an inconsiderate word He neuer expressed a desire of any thing He had at certayne tymes and vpon certaine occasions a discharged and smiling countenance He did completely giue euery man those titles of respect which was his due without fayling so much as once as to one of Reuerence to another of Honour to another of You. He declared most currantly his last VVill which was a sheet of paper long He was not taken by passionate tendernes but only vpon the speach of the Lady his Mother He spake most honourably christianly of the Prince of the Iudges yea and euen of them who prosecuted the cause against him All which particulers or the most part of them do happen otherwise in others who are subiect to the like condition So that all those old experiēced Confortatori of that Congregation which is called of the Misericordia were amazed to see how aboundantly the Grace of God had wrought vpon that soule in the space of a few houres When this most deuout Noble Man had thus held his peace and we had been discoursing amongst our selues of the thinges aforesayd he calling me towards him who yet was standing not farre off spake to me in this manner Deare Father let vs make our last Reconciliation with God And then he made a short recapitulation of all his faults and began (n) A happy soule to be so speedily and so intierly cleansed to accuse himself of thinges so extreamely small as hath giuen occasion matter to this soule of myne vntill this day wherein I write and will vntil the houre of my death both to be comforted and confounded Being vpon the end of his Confession he fell into a most ardent weeping in such sort as that bowing downe his head towards my hand I was not able to endure the heat of his breath And when I sayd to him Troylo my Sonne Cast a bridle vpon those teares of yours doe not exasperate your own wound it is now inough and againe inough you haue wept inough you will haue tyme to weep yet againe when you come to lay your Head vpon the blocke for (o) He was to suffer death for his misdeds but he was to beare it patiently and willingly for the loue of Christ Christ His answere was this I haue already told you Father and now I tell you so once againe I weep for my sinnes and not for my death And when your Reuerence shall haue giuen me Absolution and I shall haue performed the Pennance which you will impose which only deserues to be accompanyed with tears you shall find that I will weep no more And iust so it hapned for wiping his face when I had absolued him I hauing acquainted him with some necessityes of myne owne to the end that he might giue me (p) By this holy prayers in heauen assistance in the sight of our Lord he remayned with eyes as full of serenity and as voyd of teares as if in all his life he had neuer wept But then hauing raised himselfe it was thought fit by all the Company that certaine Psalmes should be repeated whereof I was to pōder some of the verses togeather with the Confortatori till such time as his houre should ariue Wherupon he sayd It is now broade day and there cannot be much time remayning Our (q) Great piety gratitude Lord be blessed for making me passe through this night so happily and so holily I thanke you deare Father you Gentlemen for your so greate fauour The good God reward you for it And heere all of vs recommending our selues againe to his prayers we also againe beganne the Psalmes At this time the Executioner came in and no man had the hart to tell him of it but he perceiuing that there was a presse of people did gently turne his face about and saw him As soone as he had set eye vpon him he was not troubled with it at all but (r) Vndaunted holy courage he armed himselfe only with the signe of the Holy Crosse and making a countenance to me who stood close by him he rose and sayd VVell the houre is come Gentlemen let vs goe and that cheerefully And they all answearing thus Yea let it be done cheerefully Signor Troilo cherefully for the loue of Iesus he turned towardes the Executioner who kneeling down at his feete to aske his pardon Do your office said he in the name of God for so he will haue it Your Lordship said he is to vnbutton your doublet about your necke And he being as ready on the one side as he was modest on the other with his owne hands began to vnbutton It is not inough said the chiefe Executioner the doublet must be put off But the rest of those Officers of Iustice were not desyrous that he should put of his doublet Yet the generous Noble Man said That howsoeuer be would do it if they thought it fit For said he it shall not greatly trouble me and if you haue a mind to it I will strippe my selfe from head to foot for the loue of God Already therefore he was beginning to vntye himself but it sufficed that he was vnbuttoned to the shoulders Then one of the Confortatori putting him in mind of Non erubescam c. and the Officer comming to tye his arms in such a fashion as that when he should be arriued at the blocke his body might not haue much leaue to mooue In the name of God sayth he bind both my armes and my handes too if your will be such For (s) This man had true faith in Christ our Lord his sacred Passion who in contemplation and imitation thereof was so willing to suffer as you see my Lord Iesus was yet much worse bound for me Being therfore thus accommodated they cast a gowne about his backe and he kneeled downe before the Altar in act as if he had craued a benediction at the handes of our Lord. And without the least change of colour beginning the Miserere of himselfe and being come as far as the outward roome he paused there with an incredible decency and grace And he sayd to some of the by-standers Might I not thanke my Lord the Gouernour of the Castle before I dye And they presenting I knowe not what excuse of his