to day are and to morrow are cast into the oven extend thy mercy to thy distressed servant O my God thou seest the nakednesse which I suffer and thou feelest the cold which my body endures for of thee ô Christ I am a part of thy mysticall body I am a member These meane and ragged coverings doe speake at once both my wants and my desires What shall I doe ô father Shall I noe longer believe thy providence Or shall I despaire of thy power O I dare not doe either for I know that thou canst and wilt relieve mee when thou in thy wisedome shalt see it requisite Blessed Lord subdue my heart as thou hast humbled my body and forgive the sinnes of pride and discontent which harbour therein Many of thy Saints have wanted the things of the outward man yet hast thou enriched their soules with the graces of thy Spirit I know Lord that thou delightest not in the ornaments of the body Thou canst give what thou wilt and withhold what thou pleasest Lu 16.22 Distressed Lazarus who for a while did lye at the gate of gorgeous Dives was caried by Angells into Abraham's bosome Enable mee with patience to suffer my wants and willingly to submitt to thy heavenly pleasure Ps 104 1. O thou that art cloathed with Majestie and honour vouchsafe to cover my naked soule Through the merits of thy Christ let it be presented to thee both cleane and unspotted Make mee to labour the purifying thereof with a flood of my teares Io. 11.33 and accept of my groanes through the righteousnesse of him who groaned in spirit when hee beheld the teares of lamenting Marie Holy father adorne thou my inward man with righteousnesse and holinesse that it may be acceptable unto thee when it shall come to thy tribunall Nothing can hide it from thy wrath ô father but the garment of the righteousnesse of Christ my brother Wrappe mee ô Iesus in that sacred mantle that I may be hid from the wrath of the reveng-full judg Is 50 3 O thou that cloathest the heavens with blacknesse and makest sack-cloth their covering doe thou apparell my soule with the blacknesse of sorrow and the sackcloth of mourning for my crying offences And so accept of my contrition that I may hereafter appeare in a long white robe with thy holy Saints Reu 7.9 and be admitted a member of thy church tryumphant there to reigne with thee world without end through Iesus Christ my onely Lord and Saviour Amen subject 8 THE EIGHTH SUBJECT A Virgin 's teares The Soliloquie Treating of the virginitie both of the body and the soule THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words ô Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voyce of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray THe un-maried woman saith the faithfull Apostle careth for the things of the Lord 1. Cor. 7.25 vers 34 that shee may be holy both in body and spirit Such a one am I unmaried I am but am I such a one allso in my care Doe I care for the things of the Lord that I may be holy both in body and spirit This is a question not easily resolved it is a duety not ordinarily performed The externall forme doeth commonly borrow the howers of virgins the dresses and the ornaments of the fading body imploy our minuits and our care is generally more for the day of our mariage then the time of our account Seldome doe wee vallew religion above our dresses or the service of God above the ornaments of our selves But neither is the beauty of the countenance prevalent with the All-mighty nor the neatenesse of attire vallewed in his eyes Hee love's not that care which ariseth from pride but that which discovereth a zeale for his honour The most admired beauty shall be shriveled in the flames of eternall horrour unlesse the soule be more comely by farre then the countenance The exactest features of the outward man doe illest suite with a lascivious tongue or an immodest thought Devoutest virgins are allways fairest and borrow so much of the flowers of the spring as to weare a maidens blush in the seate of beauty My God hath given mee the honour of virginitie and expecteth to be honoured both in it and by it If my soule be as un-spotted as my body is un-defiled I may hope for a seate with the tryumphant virgins Reu 14.1 With the Lamb saith Saint Iohn were a hundred fortie and foure thousand having his fathers name written in their fore-heads vers 4. These are they which were not defiled with women for they are virgins these are they which follow the Lamb whithersoever hee goeth That Lamb is Christ those hundred fortie and foure thousand virgins are the elect his name in their foreheads is their adoption by grace they follow the Lamb in the puritie of their soules and in their chast spirituall virginitie they are preserved from the pollutions and uncleanesse of the seducing tempter With these virgins I desire to sing my part for my sexe cannot hinder the hope of immortalitie With those saints which defiled not themselves with women shall accord those women not defiled with men It was an honour to our sexe and my present condition that my Saviour was borne of the virgin Mary But I must know that virginitie consisteth not so much in the chastitie of the body as the puritie of the soule Even those that are maried may have virgin soules and wee that are virgins may be spirituall adulteresses 1. Thes 4.4 Shee that preserve's her vessell in holinesse performeth a duety required by our maker but unlesse to this be added the chastitie of the soule both body and soule may suffer eternally The purest virgin is the loyallest wife for though wee never were engaged by mariage to a man yet all of us ought to be maried to Christ 2. Cor 11.2 Saint Paul saith that hee had espoused the Corinthians to one husband that hee might present them as a chast virgin unto Christ This husband is mine for to him am I espoused to him am I wedded But am I a loyall wife to this indulgent husband Doe I love him Doe I honour him Doe I obey him Have I beene allways true and faithfull unto him If every sinne be a spirituall adulterie if every transgression be a dishonour unto him ô then my conscience will write mee guilty O my sweete husband ô my Iesus what shall I say or pleade for my selfe I have forsaken my redeemer to sinne with the tempter I have declined my husband to committ un-cleanesse with that ugly serpent for hee enticed and I consented Lev 20.10 By the ould law an adulteresse was to suffer death That law doeth still remaine in force for death eternall is decreed as a punishment for those that dishonour my patient husband O what then shall I doe when hee shall question my disloyaltie
bee none to deliver us O thou who didst suffer thy selfe to be wounded for our transgressions be pleased to cure the wounds and maladies both of the soule and body of thy distressed servant Thou knowest Lord that the feeble soule cannot praise thee with cheerefullnesse nor serve thee with alacritie The sicknesse of the body disturbeth the soule and maketh it un-apt to serve thee with readinesse O say of his disease that It is enough and remove from him speedily this heavy visitation Thine hand ô Lord is layed upon him and the stroake is so heavy that it woundeth us both Mercifull God let the sinnes of both of us be blotted out of thy remembrance like a clowde Is 44.22 and be appeased with us through the merits of thy Sonne Mar 2.17 The whole have noe neede of thee the physitian but wee that are sick O be thou the Physitian to cure our soules and then in thy good time restore thy diseased servant to his former health But if thou hast sent him this sicknesse as a messenger of death ô give him patience to beare and willingnesse to suffer whatsoever thou sendest Ranke him not in the number of those rich and wicked Eccl. 5.17 who have much sorrow and wrath in their sicknesse but ease his sorrow and appease thy wrath Make him willing to submit to thy will and pleasure that so whether hee liveth Rom. 14.8 hee may live unto thee or whether hee dyeth hee may dye unto thee yea whether hee liveth or dyeth that hee may be thine Luc. 18 13. Lord be likewise mercifull to mee a sinner Thou knowest how deepely this affliction woundeth mee To him thou gavest mee whom now thou visitest that so hee might be both my head and my directour and thou knowest my weakenesse and my frailties that I cannot understand I cannot walke in thy wayes without a counseller I cannot apprehend what I reade Act. 8.31 except some man should guide mee O be thou pleased therfore to spare his life whom I am commanded to learne of at home 1. Cor. 14.35 for if thou callest him to the joy of thine heavenly Kingdome let it be thy goodnesse to moderate my sorrow upon earth If thou takest him from my societie let mee not be left alone but send mee the comforter even thy holy Spirit to be my Protectour and my guide unto death Ps 48.14 Release him of his torments whom thou visitest with this sicknesse and ease thou my sorrowes which arise from his paines Give the comforts of thy Spirit both to him and mee that when this painfull life shall have an end wee may be found of thee in peace 2. Pet. 3.14 Is 9.6 through the merits and mercies of the Prince of peace even Iesus Christ my Lord and onely Saviour Amen THE NINETEENTH SUBJECT Teares of a woman lamenting the death of her beloved husband The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray WHen Mary came where Iesus was Io. 11.32 and saw him shee fell downe at his feete saying unto him Lord if thou hadst beene here my brother had not dyed Shee wept indeede yet it was but for a brother and the Iewes allso wept vers 33. yet it was but for a common friend but what was all that to the death of a husband O my husband my husband That very name of husband mee think's would flatter mee with comfort as if I might imagine that hee could heare mee But oh hee is dead hee is dead hee cannot heare mee hee cannot behould mee hee cannot answer mee his eares are locked up his eyes are closed his mouth is sealed his soule is gone O what shall I doe for my head my guide my heart my husband Were my Saviour upon earth againe I could send one to him as Mary did vers 3. who should say Lord behould hee whom thou lovest is dead Dead say I O dead dead hee is gone hee is departed and can never be re-called But why Why can hee not be called back againe Did not my Iesus cause Lazarus to arise when hee had beene fower dayes dead vers 44 vers 39 Yes hee did but what then I neither love my Saviour so well as Mary did nor I feare doeth hee love mee so well as hee did Mary or if both were so yet since miracles are ceased I cannot so much as hope that hee will call back the spirit of my Lord my husband Oh could hee be wooed by the teares of a sinfull woman never did any mourne so much as I would But nothing will perswade I seeke but the disturbance of him whom I mourne for if I desire to call him from his eternall rest Yet I hope that it is noe sinne to grieve that hee is gone I lament not his happinesse but mine owne losse vers 35 My Iesus himselfe did weepe for Lazarus in testimonie of his affection for so sayd the Iewes vers 36 Behould how hee loved him And was my love to my husband so litle or so cold that I should forget to testifie it in a sorrowfull teare O I cannot forbeare the remembrance of him Is 1.2 Lam 1.12 who was deerer unto mee then life it selfe Heare ô heavens and give eare ô earth Was it nothing to you all yee that were by him when yee saw him breathing out his soule and forsaking the world O behould and see if there be any sorrow like unto my sorrow which is done unto mee wherewith the Lord hath afflicted mee in this day of his anger Tell mee not how Iacob lamented the supposed death of his sonne Ioseph Hee was misse-taken in the cause but I see and feele the chillowed clay of mine indulgent husband Iacob mourned onely for a sonne but I for an husband Iacob had more many more I had but one 2. Sam 1.26 and the love of this one to mee did passe the love of women Yet though Ioseph was alive and though hee was the youngest save one of twelve sonnes Gent 37.34 Iacob his father rent his cloathes and put sackcloth upon his loynes and mourned for him many dayes c 23.2 Tell mee not how Abraham bewayled the death of Sarah his wife who dyed in Kiriath arba in the land of Canaan Hee was a man so neither his passion nor his losse could paralell mine Hee had more-wives but I had not more husbands And yet though Abraham lost but onely a wife I reade that hee came to mourne and to weepe for her Tell mee not of Abijah the sonne of a King how hee dyed and was lamented Could a Prince be as neere and deare to the people as a loving husband to the wife of his bofome Yet though neither mariage nor blood could pleade for a teare I find that all Israël mourned for him
makest sick in smiting by reason of my sinnes yet in considence and full assurance of thy mercy I commit the keeping of my soule unto thee as unto a faithfull Creatour O let that live and it shall praise thee for in thee doe I trust let mee not be confounded neither let mee despaire of the greatnesse of thy mercies Ps 23.4 And though now I walke in the shadow of death yet I know that it is in thy power to restore mee to health Lord if it may stand with thy secret will be pleased to recover mee that I may glorifie thy goodnesse in thy worke of power Blesse all the lawfull meanes that shall be used for that purpose Give skill to the Physitians vertue to the medicines strength to my spirits and health to my body Let mee recover my strength that I may imploy it in thy service and restore mee to health that I may be more active in mine obedience to all thy commandements But if otherwise thou hast determined and resolvest at this time to make mee as water spilt upon the ground 2. Sam. 14.14 graunt mee a willing and ready submission to thy decree Either abate the torments of mine afflicted body or increase my patience that I may not offend thee in my sufferings Make mee to magnifie thee whether by life or by death and graunt mee so safe a passage and conduct in the armes of thy mercy that I may be conveyed safely into Abraham's bosome Graunt this ô father for the love and merits of thy Sonne Iesus Christ my onely intercessour and redeemer in whose name words I farther call upon thee saying Our Father which art in heaven Hallowed be thy name Thy Kingdome come Thy will be done in earth as it is in heaven Give us this day our dayly bread And forgive us our trespasses as wee forgive them that trespasse against us leade us not into temptation but deliver us from evill for thine is the Kingdome the power and the glory for ever and ever Amen exercise 4 4. The consolation of the godly in the hower of death VVHerfore is light given to him that is in miserie saith holy Iob and life unto the bitter in soule Iob. 3.20 vers 21 Which long for death but it cometh not and digge for it more then for hid treasures vers 22 Which rejoyce exceedingly and are glad when they can find the grave This was the complaint of a faithfull man and may now be the lamentation of a sorrowfull woman I have grieved and I have mourned for my sinnes and my good God I blesse him for it is gratiously pleased in the bowells of his mercy and compassion to give mee an assurance of happinesse by the merits of my Iesus But when comest thou ô my sweete my longed for my desired Saviour Thou knowest my paines which draw from mee many sinsull thoughts and un-fitting cryes Thou takest notice of the cunning suggestions of my greatest adversarie and his busie allurements to rob mee of my hope Thou seest how sometimes hee would leade mee into carnall securitie and sometimes into a beliefe that my verie vicet are vertues or not seene by Thee or not to be punished by thee and sometimes againe hee striveth to hurrie mee into the verie gulfe of despaire But I know and am assured that through the merits of my Redeemer the gates of hell shall not be able to prevaile against mee Mat. 16 18. Io 13.1 Prov. 12.28 for whom thou lovest thou wilt love unto the end I know that in the way of righteousnesse there is life and in the path-way thereof there is noe death Hence away therfore yee fowle fiends and rebellious tempters What doe yee here fawning and grinning hoping to betray a penitent soule These teares which I shed for the wounds that I made in the body of my Saviour by my piercing sinns are too pretious a water for you to hath in too choyce a wine for you to tast of here are noe hopes for the enemies of mine indulgent Iesus Though my groanes alas cannot be free from the pollution of sinne yet they shall not advantage you in what yee desire Ps 119.115 Away from mee yee wicked ones I will keepe the commandements of my God Thinke not to affright mee with my approaching death Phil. 1.23 for I desire to be dissolved and to be with Christ Death I feare thee not come come and trye thy power but know that thy countenance which is so terrible to reprobates is the producer of joy comfort to my wearied heart Thou poore feeble despised nothing what power or strength is left thee to boast of Grave why gapest thou why standest thou so open as if thou didst hope to tryumph Hos 13 14. and conquer mee My Christ did threaten to be thy plagues ô death my Iesus did resolve to be thy destruction ô grave and that repentance should be hid from his eyes Is 25.8 1 Cor 15.54 Hee promised to swallow up death in victorie and to wipe away teares from off all faces This hee did promise and this hee hath performed for by his blessed Apostle I am well assured that death it selfe is swallowed up in victorie Now I dare challenge you ô yee impotent and powerlesse adversaries I dare scorne vers 55 and contemne you O death where is thy sting O grave where is thy victorie Thy sting ô death was pullud out by him who is the Lord of life The strength of thy sting was that law which was fullfilled by my mercifull Iesus Hos 13 14. Ps 49.15 Rom 14.9 Hee hee hath ransomed mee from the power of the grave hath redeemed mee from death Hee hath redeemed my soule from the power of hell for hee shall receave mee To this end hee dyed and rose againe re-vived that hee might be Lord both of the dead and of the living Ps 68.20 Ps 48.14 Rom 14 7. vers 8. Hee that is my God is the God of salvation unto whom belong the issues from death This God is my God for ever and ever hee shall be my guide even unto death I live not to my selfe nor doe I dye unto my selfe for whether I live I live unto the Lord whether I dye I dye unto the Lord whether I live therfore Phil 1.20 or dye I am the Lord 's Christ shall be magnified in my body whether it be by life or by death for to mee to live is Christ vers 21 Heb. 12 18. vers 22 vers 23 vers 24 and to dye is gaine I come not to the mount that might not be touched nor to blacknesse and darknesse and tempest but I come unto mount Sion to the generall assemblie and â—rch of the first-borne which are written in heaven and to God the judg of all and to the spirits of just men made perfect and to Iesus the Mediatour of the new covenant and to the blood of sprinkling that
and my petitions to God must be likewise upon conditions when I begge of him but temporall blessings His blessings descend not unlesse they be called downe by my religious obedience nor may I pray for the blessings which concerne this life but with this condition If they may stand with his pleasure In his power it is to graunt the suite which so earnestly I make I wish it may be his pleasure to fullfill my desires Barren Sarai was promised a sonne and Isaak was borne Gen. 21 2.3 Lu 1.7 vers 57 Gen. 29 31. c 30.22 vers 23 Though Zacharias and Elizabeth were stricken in yeeres and Elizabeth was barren yet they were blessed with Iohn the Baptist. Though Leah was hated by reason of her barrennesse yet wee reade that the Lord did open her wombe God remembred Rachel and hearkened unto her and opened her wombe and shee conceaved and bare a sonne and sayd God hath taken away my reproach The wife of Manoah the Danite was barren Iud. 13.2 vers 3. vers 14 yet the Angel of the Lord appeared unto her and sayd unto her Behold now thou art barren and bearest not but thou shalt conceave and beare a sonne And the woman bare a sonne called his name Samson and the child grew and the Lord blessed him 1. Sam. 1.10 Barren Hannah was in bitternesse of soule for want of a child when Peninnah her fruitfull rivall provoked her sore to make her fret vers 6. vers 20 because the Lord had shut up her wombe and shee had a sonne whom shee named Samuel Thus may God if hee please looke upon my reproach and send mee a child which I may dedicate to his service I will therfore follow the stepps of Hannah the devout vers 15 I will weepe with her and I will fast with her and with her will I powre out my soule before the Lord. Who knoweth but my teares may prevayle through the merits of my Redeemer and my sobbs and sighes may draw downe a blessing Ps 30.8 On my knees therfore will I goe unto the Lord and gett mee unto my Lord right humbly I will weepe and pray and mourne and pray and sigh and pray and praying I will say The Prayer HEeavenly King father of mercies Ps 72.5 thou who tookest mee out of my mother's wombe but hast denyed unto mee the fruit of mine vouchsafe to looke upon the reproach of thy servant I know that my sinnes doe stoppe the current of thy mercies but it is thine honour that thou art a forgiver of offences Forgive my sinnes the cause of thy curse and heale the barrennesse of thy despised hand-mayd 1. Sam. 1.11 O Lord of hosts if thou wilt indeede looke upon the affliction of thine hand-mayd and remember mee and not forget thine hand-mayd but wilt give unto thine hand-mayd a man-child then I will give him unto thee all the dayes of his life Thou knowest that I am a woman of a sorrowfull spirit and out of the aboundance of my complaint vers 16 and griefe doe I pray unto thee Send mee I beseech thee a Samuël even such a child as I have asked of thee if it may stand with the pleasure of thee my Lord and King that may bring honour unto thee and comfort unto thy petitioner I shall never bee satisfied untill thou hearest my supplications Pro. 30 15. Either graunt my desires or arme mee with patience that in all things I may serve thee with quietnesse Mat 4.28 and content The earth thou hast made to bring forth fruit of her selfe and it is as easie for thee to blesse mee with increase But if thou hast otherwise determined in thy secret will howsoever graunt that I may never conceave wickednesse in my heart Act 5.4 to whom thou denyest the conception of a child Iam. 1.15 Let not lust conceave in mee lest it bring forth sinne and sinne when it is finished bring forth death Say unto my heart as effectually as once thou didst unto the fig-tree Mat 21 19. Gal 5.22 vers 23 Heb. 12 11. let noe such fruit grow on thee hence forth for ever but let mee allways produce the fruits of the spirit against which thine Apostle assureth mee that there is noe law Let this thy chastening yeeld unto mee the peaceable fruit of righteousnesse since I am exercised therein so shall I willingly submit to thy pleasure and beseech thee to graunt mee comfort and joy in that blessed sonne of a happie woman even Iesus Christ my onely Lord and Saviour Amen THE TWELFTH SUBjECT Teares of a child-bearing woman 1 At the time when she beginneth to fall in travell 2 After her deliverie I st Her teares when she beginneth to fall in travell The Soliloquie consisting of three parts viz 1 The cause of the sorrow and the confidence of the sorrowing 2 The greatenesse of the pangs hazards and feares of a travelling woman 3 Consolation and comfort for a woman in the bitternesse of her travell The first part of the Soliloquie treating of the cause of the sorrow and the confidence of the sorrowing THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words ô Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voyce of my cry my King and my God for unto the will I pray VVHen David confessed his actuall crimes hee forgot not the guilt of originall corruption therfore he professed saying Behold I was shapen in iniquitie vers 5. and in sinne did my mother conceave mee By the corruption of nature even Saint Paul himselfe was not without sinne that dwelled in him That which is borne of the flesh is flesh Rom 7 17. Io. 3.6 as my Saviour himselfe did tell Nicoden us and this flesh concludeth us all to be carnall Rom 7 14. and sold under sinne This originall stayne is the ground of all our actuall impieties justly therfore is the birth of a child accompanied with the torments and sorrowes of the mother left women should forget the tast of the apple I will greatly multiply thy sorrow Gen 3.16 and thy conception sayd the Lord unto Eve in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children O this heavie chastisement doth now approach to make mee sensible of my sinfull beginning As I caused the teares to flow from the eyes of my groaning mother so now even in mine eyes doe they likewise arise through the pangs which doe seize on mee by reason of my babe Lord what a trembling possesseth every joynt of mee and when I hope for ease by changing my seate or lying on my Couch or attempting to walke even in every place doeth the sharpnesse of the paine increase its strength and though I multiply my cryes yet mine anguish ceaseth not O what miserable perplexities are wee weake and sinfull women involved in Wee who can worst endure are most afflicted and allthough our tempers and constitutions conclude us weaker by farre then our husbands
thee untill hee have consumed thee from offe the land whither thou goest to possesse it Yea yet once againe The Lord said unto Moses Num 14.11 How long will this people provoke mee And how long will it be ere they beleive mee for all the signes that I have shewed among them vers 12 I will smite them with the pestilence and disinherit them and will make of thee a mightier nation then they O the fathomlesse treasure of the bountie of my God! Rom 2 4. O the riches of his goodnesse and patience and long suffering leading us to repentance What were the Israëlites that hee should not plague them Why not presently The wages is due so soone as the service is done and the punishment is as due so soone as the offence is committed and yet allthough God be forward in the former hee is slow to the latter allthough hee delight in the former yet is hee hardly drawne to the latter Mee think's when I consider the Israëlites I wonder at their rebellions and yet mee think's when I consider our selves I wonder much more Is 5.1 What could have beene done more to this vine-yard of God that hee hath not done unto us vers 2. Hee hath senced us and gathered out the stones from us and planted us with the choycest vine and built a tower in the midst of us and allso made a wine-presse in this his vineyard and yet for all this when hee looked that wee should bring forth grapes behould wild grapes Oh how my heart panteth within mee and my whole selfe is in a trembling feare when I consider his mercies and our rebellions Dan 5.5 O mee think's I see a hand-writing against us allmost upon every doore every inhabitant written as it were with the fingers of a man's hand as once Beâ—shazzar saw upon the plaister of the wall which maketh my countenance change vers 6. and my thoughts be troubled so that the joynts of my loynes be loosed and my knees smite one against another and I cry for mercy for I have offended and I knock for compassion for I have transgressed God did threaten Israel with a pestilence when they should be gathered together in their citties with a Pestilence that should consume them from off the land with a Pestilence that should dis-inherit them and all this to avenge the quarrell of his covenant because they still provoked him because they would not believe him for all the signes that hee had shewed among them But where in had Israel offended In what manner In what measure which this land hath not exceeded And yet ô how unwillingly doth the All-mighty punish us O how slowly O how gently Matt 11.12 The kingdome of heaven suffereth violence saith my Iesus Violence indeede by our daring sinnes for wee draw the revenger's sword for him wee bend his bowe for him Ps 7.12 and make it ready wee allso prepare for him the instruments of death vers 13 Ps 64.3 because wee whett our tongues like swords and bend our bowes to shoote our arrowes even bitter words vers 4. that wee may shoote in secret at the perfect suddenly doe wee shoote at him feare not And what now can wee expect but judgments seeing that wee will not offer the just and rightfull violence to the Kingdome of heaven even the violence of our prayers the violence of our teares the violence of sobbs and sighs and groanes in our spirituall combats and conflicts What can wee expect but vengeance And what doe wee meete with but destruction Hee hath threatned and threatned againe and againe and yet wee have resisted and resisted againe and againe too Is 5.7 When hee looked for righteousnesse behould oppression justly therfore now wee looke for mercy behould a cry A cry in the beds of the languishing a cry in the chambers of the infected and pined prisoners a cry of the healthfull for feare of infection a cry of parents for their tender children a cry of children for their dying parents Brother cryeth for brother sister for sister all cry for helpe Ps 102 1. all cry for mercy O Lord heare our prayers and let our cryes come unto thee The Sixth part of the Soliloquie treating of the duety of a Christian decreeing both to whom and for whom wee ought to pray in the time of Pestilence I Weepe and weepe and sigh and sigh and pray and pray but why doe I thus weepe and sigh and pray If for my selfe it is a debt which is challenged even by nature it selfe so that I may have any hope by these meanes either to prevent or to cure the sicknesse If for others it is charitie it is a religious duety Thus wee are commanded by the Apostle Beare yee one anothers burdens Gal. 6.2 and so fullfill the law of Christ And againe by the same Apostle I am commanded to weepe with them that weepe Rom. 12.15 But must my teares be generall Must my prayers be universall For all For the wicked as well as the godly There was a time when the Prophet Ieremiah might not pray for Iudah The Lord said unto him Pray not for this people for their good Ier. 14.11 vers 12 When they fast I will not heare their cry and when they offer burnt-offerings and oblations I will not accept them but I will consume them by the sword and by the famine and by the Pestilence There was a time too when the Lord said concerning the sonnes c. 16.3 and concerning the daughters that were borne among the Iewes concerning their mothers that bare them and concerning their fathers that begat them vers 4. They shall dye of grievous deaths they shall not be lamented neither shall they be buried but they shall be as dung upon the face of the earth and they shall be consumed by the sword and by the famine and their carkeises shall be meate for the fowle of heaven and for the beasts of the earth vers 5. For thus saith the Lord Enter not into the house of mourning neither goe to lament nor bemoane them for I have taken away my peace from this people saith the Lord even loving kindnesse and mercies vers 6. Both the great and the small shall dye in this land they shall not be buried neither shall men lament for them nor cutt themselves nor make themselves bald for them And there was a time allso when the eyes of Iehojakim the sonne of Iosiah King of Iudah c 22.17 and his heart were not but for coveteousnesse and for to shed innocent blood and for oppression and for violence to doe it vers 18 Therfore thus sayd the Lord concerning him They shall not lament for him saying Ah my brother or Ah sister they shall not lament for him saying Ah Lord or Ah his glory vers 19 Hee shall be buried with the buriall of an Asse drawne and cast out beyond the
to whom shall I goe To what physitian or Chyrurgion shall I repaire Lev. 13.2 I reade that if any man of the house of Israël had in the skinne of his flesh a rising or a swelling or a bright spott and if it were in the skinne of the flesh like the plague of Leprosie then hee was to be brought to Aaron the Priest or unto one of his sonnes the Priests vers 3. and the Priest was to looke on the plague in the skinne of the flesh and then to proceede according to order Thus under the Law the Priests were the Physitians both for the body and the soule where upon the Prophet Ieremiah complained and accounted it as a greate judgment upon the people for their sinnes that From the Prophet even to the Priest every one dealt falsely Ier. 6.13 vers 14 they healed allso the hurt of the people sleightly Hence allso another Prophet reproved them Eze. 34.4 because The diseased they had not strengthened neither had they healed that which was sick neither had they bound up that which was broken Under the Gospel allso the Apostles were likewise Physitians for both Mat. 10.1 for when Christ had called unto him his twelve Disciples hee not onely gave them power against un-cleane Spirits to cast them out but allso to heale all manner of sicknesses and all manner of diseases Doubtlesse by this I am likewise taught into whatsoëver sicknesse I fall Psa 110.4 Mal. 4.2 Make use of the prayer which followeth the next Meditation whatsoëver disease I am visited with first of all to goe to the Priest to the Minister of God first to examine my soule before I looke for the cure of my body To the Priest will I therfore goe to the chiefe Priest to the high Priest to the chiefest and highest that ever was even to him who is a Priest for ever after the order of Melchizedek and humbly will I besiech him to teach mee to feare his name and then I know that hee who is the Sunne of righteousnesse will arise with healing in his wings and will make mee goe forth and grow up as calves of the stall 2. Teares of the visited being marked with the Tokens The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray THere is a time to kill saith Solomon and a time to heale Eccl. 3.3 O that time to kill is now come upon mee but I know not how so much as to hope for the time of healing for here I find the tokens of death the markes of my mortalitie This flesh this sinfull flesh of mine which hath beene so washed so unguented so smoothed and coloured according to the choycest witt of art and industrie hath now the staines in it of a contagious sicknesse Where are now those admirers of comelinesse those idolatrous doaters upon the beawtie of women Let them come and learne the vanitie of their opinions chide their simplicitie by these tokens of vengeance O what a fraile thing is woman easily deluded into a beliefe of her beawty and as easily stricken with her owne deformitie But what doe these spotts meane to die my flesh and strike such a deepe tinture in a smoothed sknne Are diseases blind that thus they fasten every where without either choyce or exception Vaine woman as I am why doe I spend these minuits these few and winged minuits alotted unto mee in such impertinent quaeres These blewish staines tell mee that I must provide to answer for my sinnes yea shortly speedily before him who dispatched them hither unto mee Death approacheth mortalitie knocketh at my burdened heart Lord how heavie is my soule Even as if it were allready at the greate tribunall and pleaded guiltie of millions of enormities They have corrupted themselves saith Moses by the Israëlites Deut 32.5 their spot is not the spot of God's children they are a perverse and crooked generation Is there a spot then which even the children of God may be subject unto Why then may not these be some of those spotts and my selfe be one of those children of God Lord how willingly how greedily doeth every one strive to dye the death of the righteous How easilie are wee apt through ignorance to dwell in the letter of the text when wee should rather prie into a farther intent of the blessed Spirit That spot of the children of God is not seated in the body but in the soule and that spot in the soules of the Israelites was chiefely Idolatrie True it is that even the righteous have their stainei too vers 15 16.17 but not such bloaches not such greate and fowle spots or howsoever not of such a deepe tincture not dyed so in graine as are those of the wicked for they are washed out with the teares of sorrow through the blood of the Lamb. O that my spotts were onely in my skinne and not in my soule and that I could truely justifie my selfe in the language of Iob. Iob. 31.6 vers 7. Let mee be weighed in an even ballance that God may know mine integritie If any blott hath cleaved to my hands But alas I cannot I dare not Yet if I could but come to a sight of my sinnes and be truely humbled for them then am I sure that hee who taught Iacob how to increase his flock of the speckled and the spotted Gen. 30.39 Is 1.18 would easily make mee white as wooll But how or upon what grounds can I expect his mercy feeing all that I can suffer is not punishment enough for all that I have trespassed Heb. 9.22 Without shedding of blood is noe remission sayth the blessed Apostle What comfort then can I expect or what mercy can I hope for seeing that my blood my life is not of vallew enough to suffer what my sinnes have merited much lesse to purchase remission of my sinnes What now shall I doe What hope can I have that my body should be freed from these spots of my disease when I know not how to be freed from the pollutions of my soule By the Mosaicall law If any one of the common people sinned against any of the commandements of God concerning things which ought not to be done Lev 4.27 vers 32 A Lamb without blemish was to be his offering and so the atonement was made for the sinne vers 35 and it was forgiven Here yet was some ease for a distressed soule the sinne was forgiven through the blood of the Lamb. But what hope have I of remission That Law doeth noe longer stand in force nor will the blood of a common Lamb be accepted for the least the smallest offence Yet Cheere up O my drooping soule Let my fainting spirits and my sorrowfull heart take comfort in the middest of my deepe distresse for there is
I climb up into a tree for it Yea I doe climb and into a tree too O it is the tree of mine owne pride and vanitie which beareth leaves goodly broade shadowing leaves but it beareth noe fruit at all nothing but keyes and those keyes are fitted onely for the wide gate that leadeth to destruction Mat. 7.13 they will never un-lock the gates of heaven This child is young hee is a babe a babe in age a babe in growth I am a babe not in age not in growth but such a one as the Corinthians were to whom the Apostle wrote 1. Cor. 3.1 and sayd that hee could not speake unto them as unto spirituall but as unto carnall even as unto babes in Christ My child is young and tender and simple apt to be led with trifles to stragle abroad with children to be caried any whither at the pleasure of her to whose charge hee is left I am a child too a verier child then mine owne apt to be tossed to and fro Eph. 4.14 and caried about with every wind of doctrine by the sleight of men and cunning craftinesse whereby they lye in wayt to deceave And now what shall I doe I am the verier child of the two the most sinfull of the two and yet my child is afflicted with sicknesse and to mee noe other punishment is at present alotted but the griefe which I have for the sicknesse of my child Hee still cryeth still must I therfore cry Hee groaneth and I must allso groane Yea I doe groane I groane in spirit that my Iesus may cure the diseases of my soule I groane too for my child my prettie sweete babe that my Iesus may howsoever cure the infirmities of his soule and if hee so pleaseth recover allso the health of his body This must be the way to him I must thus goe Io. 14.6 Ps 30.8 for hee himselfe hath styled himselfe the way I will therfore cry unto the Lord and get mee unto my Lord right humbly I will goe to the gate of the physitian the gate of mercy and there I will knock and call and cry for entrance I will fall upon my knees and wring my hands and smite my breast Is 38.14 and weepe and mourne like a Crane and chatter like a Swallow even untill mine eyes faile with looking upward and thus will I say unto him The Prayer GReate God whose power is irresistable and whose pleasure is the rule of thy servant's obedience bow downe thine eare to my sad intreaties Thou hast stricken mee with sorrow who have not mourned for the cause and by the sicknesse of mine infant thou hast taught mee the frailtie of our mortall bodyes I see that all flesh is as grasse 1. Pet. 1.24 and the glory thereof but as the flowre of the field Mine impenitent heart I must confesse deserveth thy justice and my sinfull life this punishment of my tender infant But thou ô Lord art mercifull though I am sinfull and art apt to forgive those that truely repent O my God I desire to be sorrowfull for mine offences and earnestly I besiech thee to give mee true contrition for all my sinnes Iob. 7.20 O thou preserver of men remitt both my sinnes and the punishment which is justly due unto mee for them that I may rejoyce in thy mercy and magnifie thee for thy goodnesse Looke gratiously upon this child who feeleth the scourge though gently of thy justice due both for his and for my transgressions O let not thy wrathfull displeasure continue upon him nor my greater crimes cause an addition unto his torments Thy servant David confessed his sinnes and submitted to thy rod but yet hee cryed concerning his people 2. Sam. 24.19 and sayd These sheepe what have they done I dare not justifie this thy patient but I must needes acknowledg that for mine iniquities as well as for his thou thus doest wound him But ô thou who didst once command Mat. 19 14. that litle children should be brought unto thee didst prefer them for patternes both of innocency and humilitie shew now thy power in the weakenesse of this child Enable him with patience to endure thy visitation and direct mee to the meanes which may conduce to his recoverie if thou in thy secret decree hast so determined it Ps 6.2 Have mercy upon him ô Lord for hee is weake ô Lord heale him and free him from his sufferings Thou art hee that tookest him out of my wombe Ps 22.9 Ps 9.13 Ps 41.2 and canst as easily if thou pleasest lift him up now from the gates of death Preserve him ô God if it may be thy heavenly pleasure and keepe him alive that hee may be blessed upon earth ô heale his soule and raise him up againe Give a blessing to the meanes which shall be used for his recovery Ps 119 91. Ps 56.8 that all things in their order may be knowne to serve thee O let the teares of mee thine afflicted supplicant be put into thy botle and let the cryes of mee thy mournefull hand-mayd who beg for this infant be heard in the eares of thee the Lord of hosts Thou thy selfe didst weepe ô Christ Io. 11.35 for the death of Lazarus take compassion therfore on the weeping mother of this diseased child O let not my teares be shed in vaine but mercifully free this infant from his anguish and sufferings Yet howsoëver thou hast decreed righteous father not my will Mat 26.39 Ier 10.24 but thy will be done Onely let mee besiech thee to visit him in mercy and not in thy fury lest he be consumed and brought to nought Make him able to beare what thou determinest to send and in thy good time raise him out of this miserie Lord give mee allso a willing submission to thy holy pleasure that so I may neither discover too much fondnesse of affection to this my beloved issue when I see him subject to frailtie and mortalitie nor too immoderately grieve if thou receavest him to thy selfe Forgive whatsoëver is amisse in him and let his soule de deare and pretious in thy sight O Let thy mercy pleade against thy severitie let thy gratious promises be had in thy remembrance and let thy Christ be heard in his intercession both for mee and mine To thy will ô Lord make mee readily submitt to thy holy pleasure make mee willingly yeeld Thine is this infant Ps 39.13 and thou lentest him mee ô spare him a litle that hee may recover his strength before hee goe hence and be noe more seene To thy pleasure ô heavenly father I willingly refer him besieching thee to send him thy grace while hee shall remaine upon earth and after that receave him into glory for the worthinesse of thine onely begotten Sonne Iesus Christ our onely Lord and Saviour Amen subject 17 THE SEAVENTEENTH SUBjECT Teares of a Mother for the death of her child The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5.
mind Though I have lost my husband yet still I have my God Hee is and will be mine so long as I remaine and continue his What though I misse my head my deceased Lord my dead husband in every place What though hee sitteth not with mee at the table and therfore I sigh What though I find a misse of him in my sole and single life and therfore I grieve What though I want him to instruct mee in the wayes of goodnesse and to provide for the affaires allso concerning this life and therfore mourne I may be pensive in the remembrance of him whom I loved and I may lament the losse of my instructer and my comforter but if I grieve too much I shall but discover that there was folly in my love and that there is dispaire in my teares Hee was not mine but God's and with him hee liveth It must be my comfort that hee lived so well while hee was upon earth that I may hope assuredly that hee 's a saint in heaven and it must be my confidence that hee is onely gone a litle before to that place of happinesse whither I shall follow him Hee who lent mee him can furnish mee with another or else give mee content with this single life Hee was not my choyce but God's If I ponder upon my losse with sorrow and griefe I must yet thinke upon his advantage with joy and content I will therfore reverence his memorie without too many sobbs and I will be thankfull to my God because hee once did lend mee so good a directour I will by his blessing live a widow with content and quietnesse untill hee shall be pleased either to call mee againe to the state of wedlock or else free mee from this sinfull and troublsome world If I marrie noe more the greater command shall I reteine of my selfe I am now at libertie to employ my time in religious dueties whereas if I were wedded to an un-godly man even my religion it selfe without the mercy of my God might receave some prejudice But if the Lord shall be pleased to bring mee againe into obedience to another I will besiech him so to direct mee in my choyce that I may marry in the Lord. I will not rashly attempt so weighty a matter but with my prayers and teares I will begge of the Lord to guide and direct mee Thus that I may live in the love of my God and that hee may allways overshadow mee with his blessings Ier. 31.32 and be a husband unto mee as hee promised to be unto Iudah and Israël I will humble my selfe at his foote-stoole and pray unto him and say The Prayer BLessed God thou who once didst promise to the barren church of the Gentiles that thou wouldest be unto her both a Redeemer and a husband Is 54.5 be pleased to looke upon the low estate of a pensive widow Thou knowest how irksome and full of forrowes this solitarie life is thou viewest my sad and dis-consolate condition O be thou unto mee both a husband and a comforter that in the multitude of my sorrowes which I have in my heart thy comforts ô Lord Ps 94.19 may refresh my soule It is thy promise that Prov. 15.25 though thou wilt destroy the house of the proude yet thou wilt establish the border of the widow Though the wicked doe noe good to the widow Iob. 24.21 yea though they stay the widow and murder the fatherlesse Ps 94.6 Ps 68.5 yet thou thy selfe hast promised that thou wilt be a father to the fatherlesse and defend the cause of the widow even thou ô God who dwellest in thine holy habitations Iob. 22.9 O send not then a poore and distressed widow away emptie but be pleased to be my Gâ—… my guide and my counsellour Make mee 〈◊〉 honour thee in all my wayes to rely upon thee iâ— all my sorrowes to sue unto thee in all mâ— wants Eph. 4.24 Ps 89.22 and firmely to be wedded unto thee 〈◊〉 righteousnesse and true holinesse Let not thâ— oppressour exact upon mee nor the Sonne 〈◊〉 wickednesse doe mee harme but doe thoâ— allways preserve mee under the shadow of thy wings Be thou my directour in all my wayes that whether I shall continue in this stated of widow-hood or be ordered by thee to change my condition and be joyned againe in holy wedlock I may sue for thy counsell and be seconded with thy blessing But so long as I shall leade this single life let mee remaine contented Lu. 2.37 and make mee like Anna the Prophetesse not departing from thy temple but serving thee my God with fasting and prayer night and day Be thou unto mee in a more excellent manner then was Iob unto the widowes causing my heart to sing for joy Iob. 29.13 that so though mine afflictions are many and my desolate condition be full of perturbations and anxious thoughts yet I may so cleave unto thee that I may have comfort in thee whilest I live upon earth and be hereafter admitted into the societie of thy saints and Angells there to reigne with thee world without end through Iesus Christ my onely Lord and Saviour Amen subject 22 THE TWENTIE-SECOND SUBjECT Teares of an Orphane at the death of her father The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray AMong other abominations which Ierusalem was guiltie of it was not the least that In her had they set light by father and mother Eze. 22 7. But could there live such people as neglect their parents Could nature become so silent in children that they should forget the honour due to progeâ—itours Surely if even affection inhabited the breast of a Christian it needes must dwell in the heart of a child and point to the fathers that did beget him Alas I feele a desire of expressing such an affection which I would be as readie to manifest in reall expression but ay mee the object of 〈◊〉 love and my duety is snatched from mee Oâ— hee that begat mee is dead hee that tooke caâ— to breede mee hee that supplyed my wants bâ— that instructed mee in religion hee that defenâ—… mee from injuries hee whose labour indstrie was chiefely imployed for the good of mee his boloved child Prov. 4 3. I was oh I may say I was my father's child tender and onely beloved of my mother But now where ô where is that man of affection Where is that father who so earnestly loved mee who so deerely affectâ— mee Sick hee was dead hee is But was my duety to him correspondent any way to his care of mee Did I endeavour to requite his love by my service Gen 48 1. obedience Did I visit him in his sicknesse as Ioseph did his dying father When one could him saying Behold thy father iâ— sick hee
pronounced against them who take away the right from the poore of the people of the Lord that widowes may be their prey and that they may robbe the fatherlesse Yea and from God himselfe by the mouth of King Solomon the advice is given Remove not the ould land-marke Prov. 23.10 and enter not into the fields of the fatherlesse By the Allmighty to the fatherlesse friends are raised thus was Iob Iob. 29.12 I delivered the poore saith hee that cryed and the fatherlesse and him that had none to helpe him c 31.17 And againe hee saith If I have eaten my morsell alone and the fatherlesse hath not eaten thereof vers 22 then let mine arme fall from the showlder-blade and mine arme be broken from the bone Thus if I am God's then God will be mine If in my wants I misse my father my God will relieve mee if in my troubles I want my father my God will deliver mee What could my earthly parent have added to my content which my heavenly parent cannot much more supply If therfore I grieve too much for the death of him I forget my God who liveth for ever If too much I complaine of his absence who delighted in mee I manifest my rebellion against him who should be my delight Mat. 6.9 Hee taught mee to pray and when I pray hee taught mee to say Our father which art in heaven On him therfore will I depend who is the father of all that believe in him Rom. 4.11 To him in my wants will I addresse my selfe who is the giver of all Iam. 1.17 Upon him will I call and to him will I cry and say The Prayer ALl-mighty God heavenly father who art a Lord of comfort Rom. 15.5 and a God of consolation looke downe upon a sinfull and distressed orphane bereft of the joy and helpe of an earthly parent Thou ô Lord didst send mee unto him that thy Kingdome might be increased and thou hast taken him from mee that my faith and patience might be fully tryed I was apt to forget thee while hee was living looking upon him as the donour of blessings and neglecting thee from whom they proceeded I relyed too much on the arme of flesh 2 Chr. 32.8 and trusted too fondly in the power of man but now thou hast humbled mee by his mortalitie and taught mee wholly to rely and depend upon thee Mine owne unworthinesse of so loving a father made thee to take him away from mine eyes My dis-obedience to his commands and my neglect of honouring him according to thy lawes have provoked thee to anger and to deprive mee of his comfort Lord forgive my manifold offences since I find that all flesh is but as grasse 1. Pet. 1 24. Iam. 4.14 and that the life of man is but as a vapour which van sheth away make mee allways to apply my service wholly unto thee who livest forever Remember thy promises which thou hast made unto the fatherlesse and that I may be capable of those thy promises give mee grace to become thy child by obedience Thou ô Lord art my father to whom belongeth honour Mal. 1.6 thou art my master and requirest mee to feare thee Lord make mee feare to offend thee who art a righteous judge and make mee love and honour thee who art a gracious father Be with mee in all the wayes wherein I shall walke in this mortall life Lu 1.79 guiding my feete into the way of peace Comfort mee in my sorrowes support mee in my miseries provide for mee in my wants and in all places and at all times be thou my father Ps 62.6 Ps 82.3 my rock and my strong salvation Doe thou defend the poore and fatherlesse doe justice to the afflicted and needie Supply all my wants and conferre upon mee all necessarie blessings O be reconciled unto mee in the blood of thy sonne that I may here depend upon thy fatherly protection hereafter be receaved into thy celestiall Kingdome there to reigne with thee world without end through Iesus Christ my onely Lord and Saviour Amen subject 23 THE TWENTIE-THIRD SUBJECT Teares for the death of a beloved brother And may likewise serve at the decease of any other faithfull friend The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words ô Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voyce of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray A Friend saith King Solomon loveth at all times Prov. 17.17 and a brother is borne for adversitie Friendship which is begotten by the outward forme or any other sinister and by respect liveth noe longer then that ground of affection but nature is stronger then our election can bee and religion obligeth farre more then both O how greate then is my losse of my dearest brother in whom both excellency of feature neerenesse of blood and a gracious conversation conspired together to render him matchlesse To mee hee was a friend but now to the grave what losse can be greater then the losse of a friend To mee hee was a brother but now to the wormes and what losse can be more deplorable then the losse of a brother But to mee hee was yet more hee was a friend in his love and courtesies a brother by his blood yea and an instructer a teacher of religion and goodnesse and yet nor love nor blood nor religion could preserve him mine O what sorrowes doe accompanie all thing transitorie His love could not dye but his body could and so I am deprived of the societie of my brother because my brother was subject to corruption But is this the adversitie for which hee was borne according to King Solomon Did the wise man intend that a brother is borne to bring adversitie Or rather to comfort us in the time of adversitie Had hee beene a cause of my least disturbance while hee was living hee would have eased my griefe by grieving himselfe Hee would have comforted mee in the time of trouble had hee lived to see my grievous mourning But now alas I am left to lament alone and so much the more for the want of his comfort I now must grieve for him who was my joy and my laments and my griefes increase the higher because for his sake they arise who cannot allay them Had wee lived in hatred his death peradventure might have beene my comfort Had wee loved but sleightly a teare or two I might have thought enough to pay at his funerall But our love was firme it was strong yea strong as death Cant. 8.6 and who then can blame mee if my sorrowes in some measure keepe pace with my love O what tye can be so greate as that of affection What love so greate as of a brother and sister And yet so vaine is man so fraile are mortalls that either our affection or our persons must have a divorce Had my deceased brother
heart so that the wrath of the Lord might not come upon mee O that I could pray with Hezekiah weepe with Hezekiah that the Lord might say unto mee as hee did unto him Is 38.5 I have heard thy prayer I have seene thy teares That curse which David prophetically layed upon the wicked in his time Ps 58.7 mee think's doeth seeme at the first severe but yet it is just Let them melt away as waters which runne continually vers 8. as a snaile which melteth let every one of them passe away like the untimely sruit of a woman that they may not see the Sunne The snaile consumeth wheresoëver it crawleth and yet the providence of God is such that the consuming snaile is often found a remedie for the Consumption Thus what is good for my disease is troubled with the same and that which some have found to be a remedie is to mee a certaine remembrancer of my miserie ô that every thing might put mee in mind as well of the cause of this my disease Lord how my flesh doeth quiver though but litle is left of it How my heart doeth tremble as if noe comfort were left mee I have sinned I have done very wickedly But doeth the cure of my sicknesse as much exceede the power of my God as the skill of my Phisitian Noe noe hee may if hee please restore mee to health againe and hee may when hee pleaseth commit mee to the wormes All is in his hand ô what shall I doe to purchase his favour What shall I doe to have him reconciled Faine I would weepe for my sinnes but I know not how Faine I would shed some penitent teares but hardly will nature afford mee moisture enough But I resolve howsoever that noe excuse shall save a teare or a throb since without these I cannot hope for excuse and pardon Alas my sinnes lye heavie at the doore Gen 4.7 but I will rowle them away with the force of a water course I will grieve for my offending so mercifull a God I will lament for the offences which I have committed against him that visiteth mee I have but a litle time to continue upon earth unlesse it shall please him to restore mee to health Earth I am I must confesse it but I would not be drie I would not be dust untill I am layed to sleepe in the dust Io 9.6 Hee who made clay with his spitle to cure the blind can open mine eyes with the blessing of a teare Mee think's I am like unto the corne that is ground in a mill for so am I torne so am I crumbled worne into meale But since I am so I will make dough of this meale I will leaven it with my sorrowes I will adde unto it the water of my teares I will kneade it by contrition and bake it with the heate of that zeale which I will preserve in my heart and then will I pray that it may be a present accepted by my God Thus will I weepe in my languishing sicknesse thus will I lament for the cause of my sicknesse but I will weepe in faith and I will lament in hope that my Iesus will say unto mee as hee did to the woman that touched his garment Mat 9.22 Daughter be of good comfort thy faith hath made thee whole thy sinnes are forgiven thee part 3 The Third part of the Soliloquie setting forth the Patient's hope of recoverie THe hower of death seemeth neere approaching and putteth mee in remembrance of my last account The weakenesse of my body telleth mee now that the time is comeing wherein I must appeare at the greate tribunall Mee think 's these leane and languishing joynts doe seeme to wonder at mee for so long entertaining the fleeting ayre and doe groane under the burden of this sharpe disease Lord I cannot hope to continue here long since the litle house of my body is so tottering and shaking And yet mee thinks I have not sufficiently compleated the worke of my repentance and cannot therfore account my selfe ready to meete my God I repent indeede of whatsoever formerly I have done amisse and yet I cannot choose but doe amisse againe even as soone as I have repented I tremble when I thinke upon the punishment due to offenders and yet I tremble not when I commit when I act mine offences Readie I am not to dye too desirous I would not be to live and yet dye I must and yet live I may Lord if thou prolongest my life renew mine obedience I would be contented to live but then I would live without sinne I could yeeld to continue a while that I might perfect my repentance but then I am sure I should adde to the number of those sinnes whereof I repent I will resolve therfore neither to hasten my death nor yet too eagerly will I desire life I must needes confesse that I am willing enough to live Lord graunt that if I doe live I may live to thy glory and if I doe recover my health I may expresse my thanks in a religious life Thus I pray with my lipp but doe I pray so with my heart I am apt to promise unto God more then I feare I shall be able to performe and all these promises are made in hope that I may recover my strength Yea and it may please him who is the Physitian both of the soule and body to restore my body to health and strength I know that it is in his power hee may doe it if hee pleaseth Mat 19 26. With men indeede this seemeth impossible but with God all things are possible If I live I will spend my time in his service and upon these conditions I may hope to live Yea and so I will hope why should I not Hee in whom alone I doe hope hath power to graunt the thing that I hope for yea and to give a blessing thereto if hee full-filleth my hopes By him even dead bodies have beene restored to life it is not hard therfore for him to restore a living body to health When Tabitha was dead Act 9.37 vers 39 and washed and layd out Peter went into the upper chamber where all the widowes stood by him weeping and shewing the coates and garments which Dorcâ—s had made whilest yet shee was with them vers 40 Then the Apostle put them all forth and kneeled downe and prayed and turning him to the body hee sayd Tabitha arise and shee opened her eyes when shee saw Peter shee sate up Here was a wonder wrought by a man farre greater then the recoverie of my health would prove but this man receaved his power from God Mat. 9.8 Well might the people marveile when they saw such things and glorifie God who had given such power unto men But Saint Peter is dead and in these latter times those miracles are ceased of restoring the dead What then I am yet alive and my cure is not difficult to
blesse you if yee be righteous vers 28 Ps 5.12 Ps 115.13 2. Tim 4.6 and â—ith favour hee will compasse you as with a shield Hee will blesse them that feare him both small and greate And now my children I have not much more to say to you for the time of my departure is at hand If yee doe heartily love your God I know that yee will affectionately love each other yee will be observant to your guardians and instructours yee will be courteous unto all Be not dismayed at any crosse or affliction at any losse or povertie which may fall upon you Mat 6.33 Deut 28.8 Ex 23.25 but seeke yee first the Kingdome of God and his righteousnesse and then all other things shall be added unto you Then the Lord shall command the blessing upon you both in your store-houses in all that yee set your hands unto Hee shall blesse your bread and your water Deutâ— 28.3 and take away sicknesse from the midst of you Blessed shall yee be in the citty and blessed shall yee be in the field vers 4. Blessed shaâ— be the fruits of your bodies and the fruit of your grounds and the fruits of your cattell and the increase of your kine and the flocks of your sheepe vers 5. Blessed shall be your basket vers 6. and your store Blessed shall yee be when yee come in and blessed shall yee beâ— when yee goe forth c. 7.13 The Lord will love youâ— and will blesse you and multiplie you buâ— will allso blesse the fruit of the wombe unto you and the fruit of your land and your corne and your wine and your oyle and the increase of your kine and the flocks of your sheepe in the places where yee shall live c. 28.12 Hee will open unto you his good treasure the heaven to give the raine unto your land in his season and to blesse all the worke of your hands Gen. 49.25 and yee shall lend unto many and yee shall not borrow Hee shall helpe you and blesse you with the blessings of heaven above blessings of the deepe that lyeth under and blessings of the breasts of the wombe And that hee may thus blesse you the same Lord direct your hearts preserve you in his blessing All that I can doe now is to pray for you and my weakenesse will hardly permit mee to doe that yet so long as I can speake I trust I shall pray and in my petitions remember both my selfe and you While I am yet alive it is my duety to pray for you and it is your duety allso to pray for mee The Lord graunt that wee may all doe what hee requireth at 〈◊〉 hands Doe not yee grieve too much that I am so neere my rest for it is the decree of â—…y God and the longing expectation of my â—earied selfe The Lord give you patience to â—ndure this affliction and the Lord give mee â—atience and perseverance unto the end Now I goe the way of all the earth 1. King 2.2 Keepe yee the Charge of the Lord your God to walke in his wayes to keepe his statutes vers 3. and his commandements and his judgments and his â—estimonies as it is written in the Scriptures that yee may prosper in all that yee doe and whithersoëver yee turne your hands The Lord give you the blessing of Iudah Deut. 33.7 and â—eare your voyces and let your hands be sufficient for you and let him be an helper to you from your enemies and the Lord give you the blessing of Benjamin vers 12 The Lord cover you all the day long and dwell betweene your shoulders And the Lord give you the blessing of Ioseph vers 13 Blessed of the Lord be your land for the pretious things of heaven for the deaw and for the deepe that coucheth beneath vers 14 and for the pretious fruits brought forth by the Sunne vers 16 and for the pretious things put forth by the Moone and for the pretious things of the earth and fullnesse thereof and for the good will of him that dwelt in the hush The eternall God be your resuge vers 27 and underneath you the everlasting armes 2. Sam. 7.26 And now ô Lord God let it please thee to blesse the house of thy servant Vers 29 and with thy blessing letâ— familie of thy servant be blessed for ever Deut. 26.15 ps 67.1 Lâ—… downe from thine holy habitation from heare and blesse them O my God he mercifull uâ— them and blesse them and cause thy face to 〈◊〉 upon them And now with Iacob I have made an 〈◊〉 of commanding you Gen. 49.33 and ready I am to gathâ—… up my feete into the bed and to yeeld up the 〈◊〉 and to be gathered unto my fathers Onâ—… come yee neere my deere ones that I 〈◊〉 kisse you and that my cold and clammy haâ—… may be layed upon your heads that I may once more blesse you and dye Fare-well my prettie ones farewell the children of my deare affection 2. Cor. 13.11 I must leave you and I hope I shall leave my God with you who will be unto you a father of mercies and 〈◊〉 God of all consolation Once more fare-well 1. Pet. 3 8. 2. Tim. 4.23 Love as brethren and the God of love and peace be with you The Lord Iesus Christ be with your spirits Grace be with you all Amen subject 26 THE TWENTIE-SIXTH SUBjECT Teares of a dying woman wherein is set downe her religious exercises 1 A Soliloquie in which is set forth 1 A desire of life 2 The certaintie of death 2 A godly preparation against the minuit of death 3 A prayer of the sick 4 The consolation of the godly in the hower of death 5 The resignation of the soule into the hands of God exercise 1 â—he Soliloquie wherein is set forth part 1 1. A desire of life THE EjACULATION â—sal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray VVHen Ahazia had fallen downe through a lattesse in his upper chamber 2. King 1.2 that was in Samaria and was sick of 〈◊〉 fall hee sent messengers to enquire of Baal-zebub the God of Ekron whether hee should recover of that dangerous sicknesse Every one desireth a fore-knowledg of events that they might prevent those dangers which otherwise might ensue Herein mee thinks wee endeavour a kind of imitation of our maker labouring unjustly for his attribute of prae-science But if wee desire what hee forbiddeth wee seeke but our destruction in the pursuit of our desires Of some things hee often permitteth us a fore-knowledg and somethings againe hee hideth from us that so both by ouâ— knowledg wee may conjecture at what a blessing wee should have enjoyed had not Adam transgressed and allso that by our ignorance wee may
set it forth from day to day Ps 96.2 part 2 The Second part of the Soliloquie wherein is set forth the certaintie of Death A Braham is dead the Prophets are dead and my Saviour Christ sayd Io 8.52 If a man keepe my sayings hee shall never tast of death At this the Iewes were very much stumbled and mee think 's they had some collour for their contention about it For if Abraham were dead Rom. 4 11. Iam 2.23 Gen 22 18. Lu 1.70 who was the father of the faithfull who was the friend of God hee in whose seede all the nations of the earth were promised a blessing because hee obeyed the voyce of the Lord And if the Prophets were allso dead those holy Prophets which have beene since the world began and by whom the Lord did reveale his pleasure unto the people If all these were dead well might the Iewes wonder when our Saviour said If a man keepe my saying hee shall never tast of death Well indeede they might wonder for ignorance is the cause of all our merveiles Did wee but know a certaine reason for every event wee should never wonder at that which happeneth but wee should magnifie the first greatest cause which is God The Iewes wondered because they were ignorant and supposed that our Saviour had spoken of a temporall death whereas hee meant that which is eternall True it is that the temporall death is an effect and fruit of the first sinne but eternall death is the punishment of impenitencie and infidelitie for those who both can and truely doe repent neither can nor shall be lyable to an eternall death Nay dye they cannot in any kind for this which wee call a death shall be to them but a deliverance and that death which is a perpetuall living death in the land of darknesse they shall be certainly freed from by the blood of the Sonne of God Yet this passage this sweete change in the godly and allso this gate which openeth to the ungodly the way to eternall woe the Scripture doeth commonly tearme a death this death cannot possibly be avoyded by the children of Adam Heb. 9.27 for it is appointed unto men once to dye 'T is true 't is true indeede I am ready to find it verefied in my selfe for the harbingers of this death have taken up my body where it intendeth to lodg The weakenesse of my limbs and the faintnesse of my spirits and the shortnesse of my breath and the lownesse of my voyce and the palenesse of my cheekes and the hollownesse of mine eyes all these doe but assure mee of the approaches of this death But is there noe resistance Is there noe reversing of the decree Noe repealing of the statute Alas noe none at all This body which hath beene pampered with the delicacie of meates must now be slaughtered and make a feast for the wormes These bones which have layen upon the beds of ease must become as tables for the loathsome vermine And this skinne this prowde skinne which hath stollen so much time to imploy in the suppling and colouring and smoothing and covering of it must serve like a cloath spread on these tables whereon must be presented this collation for the wormes Short is my life fleeting are my dayes and my winged minuits fly with such speede that I caâ— hardly count them so fast as they consume Wheâ— I enjoyed the most sound and beloved health even then the shortnesse of my life was discovered in my breath for I was intrusted onely with a litle ayer which neither was in my power long to keepe nor long without it could I possiblie continue I was so false in my promises which I made unto my God that hee would not trust mee long with the keepng but of a litle of that element I have allways lâ—ved at the brinke of death and yet never seriously enough thought of that which now is ready to approach I never thought indeede of the hower of my death by a due preparation to entertaine it when it should come Nay I fondly imagined that it must of necessitie keepe the roade of diseases sicknesse whereas it might have hastened by wayes un-expected When I was healthfull I grew so proude that I imagined certainly it either could not or durst not assayle my body and yet when I was afflicted with the smallest paine then againe I was so cowardly dejected that I was afraid it hastened by each part and member When I smarted I was taken off from my pride but the cure of that sinne was an immoderate and a slavish feare But now I am well assured that neither strength nor youth nor beauty nor physick nor any thing else can secure our bodies from returning to the earth True it is that the dead know not any thing Eccl 6.5 neither have they any more a reward for the memorie of them is forgotten but the living know that they shall dye c 8.8 There is noe man that hath power over the spirit to reteine the spirit neither hath hee power in the day of death Wherfore then have 〈◊〉 so long lived in ignorance or forgetfullnesse of mine end If I had remembred it I would have fitted and prepared mine accounts against the time it should come If I had knowne it I would have laboured to have made the judge my friend But ô I forgot it for I increased my sinnes and thought not of the debt I was ignorant too and knew not the terribloesse of the Iudg. Now mee think's these cold and clammie sweats doe chiefely arise from my chiding conscience and from the convulsions which there I suffer through the guilt of my sinnes I never was so carelesse or ignorant of death as I now am certaine of it yet afraid to dye Eccl 12.7 Iob. 30.23 Now I am sensible that my dust shall returne to the earth as it was I know that the Lord will bring mee to death to the house appointed for all the living Die say I Yes But must I dye Yes But when That I know not many dayes or howers I cannot expect to live who am allready pined into the leanenesse of an Anatomie But where must I dye That I know not neither even in this bed it is most likely where I now lye languishing in the torments of my disease But how or by what meanes must I dye Nor can I tell that allthough this sicknesse seemeth to be dispatched hither for this very purpose But if it be so sure that dye I must is it likewise as sure to what place I shall goe O this question is the common troubler of the dying There are but two havens where soules can arrive the one is the holy land the new Ierusalem the haven of eternall happinesse the other is a land too but it is a land of darknesse a land of smoakes and stinkes a place of eternall horrour To the former the godly are wafted by a convoy of
order unto him and in obedience to his commands I will love my neighbour as my selfe I will love him with the same affection as my selfe For his sake for whom I love my selfe even for God's For the same reason as my selfe even for grace conferred in this life present and for a certaine hope of eternall glory in the life to come In the same order as my selfe which shall be above the world but inferiour to my God Vpon the same ground as myselfe even because of the image of God imprinted in him and because hee is capable of immortall happinesse lastly as long as myselfe even from the beginning unto the end untill this fraile flesh shall be forsaken by my pensive my sad and sorrowfull soule And that my brethren my neighbours may be the better assured of my love which cannot be firme unlesse I accord with them in the same beliefe Heb 4.14 and that it may be knowne that through the grace of my God I hold fast the profession of my faith wherein I have lived even the same which was taught by my Saviour and his Apostles according to the trueth and puritie of the same without leaning either to prophanesse atheisme superstition or any other errour or heresie and to the intent that they may joyne with mee in thanksgiving to my God for preserving mee in the same and in prayer unto God that I may continue in the same both to the end in the end I will therfore cheerefully faithfully and confidently rehearse the articles of my beliefe and say I beleeve in God the Father Allmighty Maker of heaven and earth and in Iesus Christ his onely Sonne our Lord which was conceived by the holy Ghost borne of the Virgin Mary suffered under Pontius Pilate was crucified dead and buried hee descended into hell the third day hee rose againe from the dead hee ascended into heaven and sitteth on the right hand of God the Father All-mighty from thence hee shall come to judg the quick and the dead I beleeve in the holy Ghost the holy Catholike Church the Communion of Saints the forgivenesse of sinnes the resurrection of the body and the life everlasting Amen Thus I believe Lord helpe my un-beliefe Mar. 9.24 Eph. 4.14 and graunt that I may not be tossed to and fro and caried about with every wind of doctrine by the sleight of men and cunning craftinesse whereby they lie in wayt to deceave vers 15 but that speaking and believing this trueth in love I may grow up unto him in all things which is the head even Christ my Redeemer And that I may thus repent mee of my sinnes and continue in love and persevere in the faith and submit to his good pleasure I will with a bended heart and a sorrowfull spirit and weeping eyes pray unto him and say exercise 3 3. The Prayer of the sick FAther of mercies Lord of life thou God which art a refuge in the time of trouble Ps 6.2 have mercy upon mee Ps 143.4 for I am weake and my heart with in mee is desolate A sinner I am I must confesse it not deserving thy mercy a fowle a grievous sinner I am who have disobeyed thy statutes and broken all thy commandements and never have I set my selfe in any good way to seeke my peace and reconciliation with thee My conscience check's mee and my sinnes testifie against mee and mine adversarie the devill strjveth to pluck from mee my considence in thee O Lord be thou my protectour and my gracious father Be reconciled unto mee in Iesus Christ in whom alone thou art well pleased Io 16.23 and in whose name whatsoëver I shall aske of thee I am sure thou wilt give it unto mee Heavenly Father doe thou assist mee doe thou comfort mee in these my trpâ—… and afflictions Ps 60.11 o be thou my helpe in trouble for vaine is the helpe of man To thee I cry to thee I come with a panting heart with a sorrowfull soule with an humble spirit I have sinned ô I have sinned and done amisse and my portion might be justly therfore in the land of darknesse there to be tormented with the devill and his angells forever But ô thou who hast promised to heale all those that are broken in heart Ps 147 3. and to bind up their wounds be reconciled unto mee in the wounds of my Redeemer Speake peace unto my conscience in this agony Ps 143.6 in this sorrowfull and deepe sighing for my skarlet sinnes To thee Ps 143.6 and to thee alone I stretch forth my hands to thee my soule gaspeth as a thirstie land vers 7. Heare mee ô Lord that soone for my spirit waxeth faint hide not thy face from mee lest I be like unto them that goe downe to destruction O let not these teares be refused nor these groanes be sighed and sobbed in vaine but by the power of his passion out of whose pretious side did issue both water and blood be thou reconciled unto mee the unworthiest of thy creatures Though my soule be deepely stained with the pollutions of my transgressions yet his blood hath power to make it white as snow On that remission of sinnes by his torments and sufferings doe I wholly rely My selfe I abhorre Iob 42.6 and repent in dust and ashes my workes I disclaine for I know their unworthinesse on thee alone ô my Iesus I wholly depend and by thee alone I hope for remission Be thou my Iesus be thou my Saviour Cure mee by thy wounds heale mee by thy stripes ease mee by thy torments comfort mee by thine agonie refresh my fainting soule by thy bluodie sweat revive mee by thy death and ô Sonne of God and Saviour of the world present mee to thy father in the robe of thy righteousnesse Ps 94.13 Give mee patience in this time of adversitie that I may quietly and contentedly submit to thy good pleasure rely upon thy mercy be thankfull for thy chastisement and in all things so looke up unto thee in this time of my sicknesse that I may hereafter be raised to glory by the power of thy resurrection This sicknesse for ought I know may be unto death but in thee I trust it shall be a passage unto life If thou hast passed the sentence of the first death upon mee decreeing to execute it by this my sicknesse to lay mee in the dust by this present visitation howsoever be pleased ô my father for the worthinesse of thy sonne to free met from the horrour of the second death Let mee be found of thee in peace 2. Pet 3 14. Hab 3.2 Is 9.13 Iob. 3.25 Mich 6 13. 1. Pet 4 19. Ps 119.175 that it may clearely appeare to mee that thou art a God of trueth and in the midst of judgment remembrest mercy Vnto thee I turne for thou hast smitten mee and the thing that I so greatly feared is fallen upon mee My body thou
destruction nor the threatned fall nor thy resisting us nor Sodom's ruine Lord forgive this iniquity amongst us and give us now such humble hearts Ps 75.6 that wee may noe more set our hornes on high nor speake with stiffe necks for why Thou ô God art the judg vers 8. thou puttest downe one and settest up another Wee are taught ô thou just God of truth Prov. 11.1 that a false ballance is abhomination unto thee but a just weight is thy delight and wee know that thou didst question by thy Prophet saying Mic 6.11 Shall I count them pure with the wicked ballances and with the bagg of deceitfull weights vers 10 Are there not in Ierusalem and Samaria the treasures of wickednesse in the house of the wicked and the skant measure which is aboâ—minable Yea and wee know that thou doâ—… stricktly forbid Deut 25.14 vers 13 vers 15 saying Thou shalt not have iâ— thine house diverse measures a greate and 〈◊〉 small thou shalt not have in thy bagge diversâ— weights a greate and a small but thou shalâ— have a perfect and just weight a perfect and just measure shalt thou have that thy dayes may be lengthened in the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee And yet for all this the same complaint may be made against many of us Ier 6.13 which was against Iudah wee are given to coveteousnesse and wee dealt falsly Iustly therfore ô most righteous judg thou mayst question us as thou didst the Iewes and say c 7.9 vers 10 will yee steale murder commâ— adulterie and sweare falsly and come and stand before mee in my house which is called by my name and say wee are delivered 〈◊〉 doe all these abominations O thou that art the easer of the oppressed thou God of compassionate bowells to thee are allso knowne both the deceaver and the oppressour walking hand in hand among us Surely thou hast seene it Ps 10.15 for thou behouldest ungodlinesse and wrong therfore thou callest Amos. 8.4 vers 5 saying Heare this ô yee that swallow up the needy even to make the poore of the land to faile saying when will the Sabbath be gone that wee may set forth wheate making the Ephah small and the Shekel greate and falsifying the ballance by deceit vers 6. that wee may buy the poore for silver and the needy for a paire of shooes Yea ô thou that makest inquisition for blood and forgettest not the complaint of the poore to thee wee must confesse that with the deceitfull is joyned allso among us even the bloody murderer allthough wee are well assured that the blood-thirstie and deceitfull man shall not live out halfe his dayes Ps 55.25 Yea Lord thou God of justice thou mayest allso complaine of us as thou didst of the Iewes Is 59.4 and say that few or none among us calleth for justice or pleadeth for truth wee trust in vanity and speake lyes wee conceave mischiefe and bring forth iniquity Hos 4.2 By swearing and lying and killing and stealing and committing adulterie the people breake out and blood toucheth blood Therfore doth our land mourne vers 3. and every one that dwelleth therein doth languish Thus ô thus wickedly thus contemptuously Iud 10 15. thus outragiously yea and many more and worse though closer wayes have wee sinned o Lord doe thou unto us whatsoever in thy mercy seemeth good unto thee For these Ier. 50.4 and for all other our private and publike our secret and our open our particular and our generall crimes I besiech thee o father of mercies to graunt that I and all the people of the land may goe weeping as once did the children of Israel and of Iudah Lord be reconciled unto us in the blood of that Lamb of thine who taketh away the sinns of the world Cause us all now in this time of our visitation to learne vers 5. and aske the way to Sion with our faces thitherward saying Come let us joyne our selves unto the Lord in a perpetuall covenant that shall not be broken Amos. 7.2 Dan. 9.19 Ioel. 2.21 vers 26 O Lord God forgive us I beseech thee by whom Shall Iacob arise For hee is small O Lord heare ô Lord forgive o Lord hearken and doe it so shall wee be sure that thou wilt doe greate things Cause us once againe to eate in plenty be satisfied praise thy name o Lord our God when thou hast dealt thus wonderously with us and wee shall never be ashamed Ier. 29.11 O let thy thoughts be thoughts of peace towards us and not of evill Wee should o my God 1. Pet. 3 8. wee should have loved one another as brethren and should have beene pittyfull and courteous but to our shame I must acknowledg with a sad and a broken heart that wee have beene more ready to bite and devoure one another Gal. 5.15 and therfore now are wee justly consumed one of another It is most just with thee o thou sin-revenging God thus to visit our offences with the rod Ps 89.32 our sinns with scourges Vnnaturall have beene our crimes therfore unnaturall are likewise our punishments Ps 37.15 for our swords doe goe thorow our owne hearts and wee our selves are become the destroyers of our selves O eternall mercy O eternall goodnesse be thou gratiously pleased I beseech thee to give us a true sight sense and feeling of these and all other our faylings and back-slidings give us hearty remorse contrition and sorrow for them all together with a stedfast resolution of new obedience yea and so strengthen us in these our pious resolutions and so enable us to the performance of the same yea so sanctifie us throughout that our whole spirits and soules bodies may be kept blamelesse unto the comeing of our Lord and Saviour Iesus Christ Thou hast threatned that If a man will not turne Ps 7.13 thou will whet thy sword this long time thou hast bent thy bowe thou hast prepared for us vers 14 and brought among us the instruments of death and hast ordained thine arrowes against thy persecuters Yet Lord thou art yesterday and to day and the same for ever The same father of mercies and God of all consolation Remember therfore I beseech thee how gratious thou wert to the people of Iudah to whom thou sentest thy Prophet to speake Ier. 26.3 If so be they would hearken and turne every man from his evill way that thou mightest repent thee of the evill which thou didst purpose to doe unto them because of the evill of their doeings O Lord doe thou rent our hearts in thy mercy and make us turne from our evill wayes that thou mayst repent thee of the evill of our punishments Make us turne unto thee with 〈◊〉 our hearts Ioel 2.12 with fasting and with weeping and with mourning Ex 32.12 and then turne thou from thy
speaketh better things then that of Abel Rev. 2.10 1. Cor 3.21 vers 22 vers 23 I know that if I am faithfull unto death hee will give unto mee a crowne of life I know that all things are ours so long as wee are his whether the world or life or death or things present or things to come all are ours and wee are Christ's Christ is God's Why the doe I crie out upon my paines Is any paine which I can suffer either so much as I deserve by offending my Iesus or comparable to his torments which hee suffered for mee Flesh thou hast disturbed mee all my life with thy sweete and sugered baites hast allured mee to sinne but I will drowne thee therfore in my teares Thou art allready drawen low by my sicknesse and yet because this punishment is not enough thou who wert kept from staines with curious though simple art shalt now be tumbled into the dirt from whence thou camest For the beds of downe on which thou hast stretched thy selfe thou shalt lye downe in the hard and stonie earth for the greate and spatious chamber◠which thou didst pride thy selfe in thou shalt be confined to the skantnesse narrownesse of a coffin for the curious hangings which adorned thy roomes were the costly adventures and labours of forreiners thou shalt be closely wrapped bound in thy grave-clothes and for the gallant societie which thou so cheerefully delightedst in thou shalt have the companie of nothing but wormes yea and such wormes too as thou didst loath in thy seeming prosperitie shall be at once both thine associates thy greedie devourers World thou art an imposter hast treacherously deluded mee with hopes of vanitie but now I find that thy braverie is but follie thy riches but fumes smoakes that vanish thy friendship but hatred thy pride but madnesse thy beautie but uglinesse and all thy temtations are but leaders to destruction I hate thee therfore thou vaine world and leave thee behind mee as contemning the societie of trifles so un worthy and though for a time thou mayst foole the un wise and bewitch them with the false glasses of thy seeming glory yet know thou that the time shall come when thou shalt consume in thy flames and shalt burne in a heape at the day of revenge And as for you ô yee black and uglie slaves of perdition yee hellish-criew of infernall fiends goe seeke some other to delude with your suggestions in mee yee have neither share nor hope for neither should your torments be lessened if yee could seduce mee nor shall nor can your madnesse prevaile against thy redeemed soule to increase the number of your schreeches and howlings And now ô my Iesus come come away for I am thine and thou art mine Why stayest thou so long Why delayest thou the time The longer I live I doe but the more offend thee and the more I offend thee the more doe my sorrowes burden mee for these mine offences O would it not be more for thy glory to free mee from corruption that I might sing praises to thy name without any feare of displeasing thee How long Lord how long wilt thou keepe mee from thy tryumphant quire Ps 42.2 My soule is a thirst for thee my heart panteth after thee ô when shall I come and appeare in thy presence ô my God O how truely and eagerly doe I long for death that I may live with thee who art the truth and the life Io 14.6 I know that one day dye I must but my death shall be nothing but a passage unto life for though in Adam all dye yet in thee ô Christ 1. Cor. 15.22 shall all be made a live I cry Lord I cry to thee I cry because thee I have offended to thee onely I cry because thou onely doest heare and wilt helpe to thee onely I cry because thou onely hast redeemed mee to thee ô to thee I cry to hasten to come with speede O God make speede to save mee O Lord make hast to helpe mee Dan. 9.19 Rom 7 24. Ps 22.17 O Lord heare ô Lord forgive ô Lord deliver mee from the body of this death These pale cheekes and these hollow eyes and these staring bones and this sbrivell'd skinne are now mee think's adorned with beautie because they bring mee the glad tidings of the approaches of my Redeemer This bed is hard to what I shall find in the grave these sheetes are course and un-easie to that which I shall be wound in Come ô Christ ô stay noe longer I feare thou art angrie with mee or else ere now I should have seene thy face but if thou art angry Ps 30.5 I am well assured that thy wrath endureth but the twinkling of an eye and in thy presence is life My spirit cryes come and my wearied soule cryes come and my weake limbs cry come Come therfore ô my Redeemer Come Lord Iesus Come quickly exercise 5 5. The resignation of the Soule into the hands of God THe Prophet Ieremiah admonished the house of Israel saying Give glory to the Lord your God before hee cause darknesse and before your feete stumble upon the darke mountaines and while yee looke for light and hee turne it into the shadow of death and make it grosse darknesse That glory I have given and now I doe render to the Lord my God so farre as hee in his goodnesse is pleased to enable mee And now that time is come that happy moment O Well-come blessed hower so long expected so long desired How rebellious hath beene my flesh that it held put so long and now hides it selfe under my dryed skinne and shrink's it selfe up as unwilling to yeeld Away proud dust thou canst have noe hope of a freedome from putrefaction allthough the time shall come when the Lord will glorifie thee That time I know will come indeede yea I know it assuredly Ps 56.9 Iob. 19.25 vers 26 for the Lord is on my side I know that my Redeemer liveth and that hee shall stand at the latter day upon the earth and though after my skinne wormes destroy this body vers 27 yet in my flesh I shall see God whom I shall see for my selfe and mine eyes shall behold and not other though my reines be consumed within mee I have though weakely and imperfectly endeavoured to glorifie my God before this hower approached both in the confesion to him of my grievous sinnes ah those uglie sinnes which I still grieve for am sorry for them and yet not without a certaine confidence and assurance of his mercy Lord I thanke thee for this happy hower Now I find that though the wicked is driven away in his wickednesse Pro 14 32. yet I am filled with hope in my death Wicked alas I was and woe is mee wicked I am if considered in my felfe but in thee ô Iesus I am holy in thy righteousnesse I am righteous therfore