hold out I was not taken off from the performance of holy duties no I thought with my self that I am commanded by God to perform holy duties which is the way and means whereby wee may meet with God For hee is ordinarily to bee injoyed no where but in his own ordinances but the Lord took mee off from resting and trusting in Ordinances And as hee made mee to see that without the practise of them hee would not accept of mee so also hee made mee to know that it was not for holy duties for which I was accepted The sins that cleave to my best performances are enough for which the Lord may justly condemn mee if I had no other sins 5 The Lord brought mee to see a Superlative beauty and excellency in the Lord Iesus Christ and my soul was deeply in love with him even with whole Christ in all his Offices and if I know any thing at all of my owne heart I desired Christ as much to bee my King and Prophet to teach and guide mee and subdue mee to himself and rule over mee as to bee my High-Priest to make Attonement by offering up of himself for mee and washing mee in his blood by which I must bee justified 6 The Lord brought mee to see a soul-satisfaction in the Lord Jesus Christ alone and I think I should bee as fully satisfied with Christ alone as my heart can desire If I know my heart it panteth after Christ and Christ alone None but Christ none but Christ. The whole world in comparison or competition with Christ is nothing to mee But in him I see full contentment To see and know my interest in him and to injoy communion with him is that which if the Lord would bestow upon mee I should with Iacob say It is enough and with old Simeon Now let thy servant depart in peace for my eyes have seen thy salvation Now I desire to set down some other Scripture Evidences that I finde upon search and examination of my heart by laying it to the Rule The Word of God My Second Scripture Evidence is taken from Mark 2. 17. Where Christ saith They that are whole have no need of the Physitian but they that are sick and hee came not to call the Righteous but sinners to repentance Now through Gods mercy I can say that I am a sin-sick-sinner the Lord make mee more sick I am not righteous in mine own eyes but a sinner and see my self undone for ever without the righteousness of Christ bee imputed to mee and therefore I hope I am amongst the number of those whom Christ was commissionated by his Father to come to save From Matth. 11. 28 29. I am weary and heavy laden now Christ hath promised to give ease to such And I am willing to take his yoke upon mee and would fain learn of him the lesson of meekness and lowliness and therefore am invited to come unto him I can say with David that my sins are a heavy burden to mee they are too heavy for mee Psal. 38. 4. and I can say that I mourn because I cannot mourn no more for my sins now Christ saith Blessed are they that mourn for they shall bee comforted Mat. 5. 4. From Matth. 5. 3. I think if my heart do not deceive mee I am pòor in spirit now theirs is the Kingdome of Heaven saith Christ. From Matth. 12. 20. I am a bruised reed and smoaking flax and therefore Christ hath promised hee will not break such a reed nor quench the smoak of grace if it bee true grace but hee will increase it more and more as hee saith Untill judgement breake forth into victory And hee came to set at liberty them that are bruised Luke 4. 18. Therefore I hope I am such a one as hee came to binde up and set at liberty Yea and that hee was anointed and sent by his Father to mee and such as I am Isa. 61. 1. From 1 Tim. 1. 15. This is a faithfull saying and worthy of all acceptation saith Paul That Iesus Christ came into the world to save sinners And so say I too it is worthy all acceptation that Christ should come from the bosome of his Father who was infinitely glorious and happy that hee should come into the world to save mee mee a sinner mee the chiefe of sinners mee that if saved I do verily beleeve there is none in heaven nor any that ever shall come thither that hath or will have the cause to magnifie and adore free grace as I shall have And herein doth God commend his love towards mee For if when wee were enemies wee were reconciled to God by the death of his Son much more being reconciled wee shall bee saved by his life Rom. 5. 10. I can say with Paul that I delight in the Law of God after the inward man and I am grieved that I cannot keep it I finde that spiritual war in mee between flesh and spirit which Paul complaineth of and I can say that Paul doth confess over my heart in his confessions Rom. 7. And I can go along with him there from verse 9. to the end of the chapter and from hence I gather that there is some spiritual life in my soul and an indeavour to walk after the spirit and therefore I hope and desire to conclude with him that there shall bee no condemnation to mee but that the Law of the spirit of life in Christ Iesus shall make mee free from the law of sin and death I finde an earnest desire wrought in my soul to bee made like unto Jesus Christ and that it may bee my meat and drink to do and suffer his will as hee would have mee I can say that the Lord hath in some measure put his fear into my heart that I fear to offend him out of love to him and I love to fear him I can say with the Church to Christ Cant. 1. 7. O thou whom my soul loveth and if I know any thing at all of mine own heart Christ is altogether lovely and most desirable to my soul. I think I can truly say with David that I have none in Heaven but thee and there is nothing on earth that I desire besides thee in comparison of thee in competition with thee Though all that is dearest to mee in the world should forsake mee yet if God whom I have chosen for my portion will not forsake mee I have enough It is my desire and endeavour more and more to account all things but loss and dung that I may win Christ. I can with Peter make my appeal to him and say Lord thou who knowest all things thou knowest that I love thee and that it is the desire of my soul to love thee more and to love thee for thy self because thou art holy and good and gracious and the chiefest amongst ten thousand Yea God in Christ alone is worthy to be
another I should bee loath to lay such a clog upon you consciences as to say That every maid-servant and man-servant is bound to know and to bee acquainted with all those with whom they communicate in the Lords Supper Indeed the Church-officers are the eyes of the people and are to know all and to bee acquainted with all But yet notwithstanding this I say It is the duty of every member to endeavour according to his place and calling to grow up in spiritual acquaintance one with another as God shall offer occasion and not to be so strange and unacquainted but to walk in love one towards another to bear one anothers burden and so fulfill the Law of Christ Gal. 6. 2. And this you ought the rather to do that so you may contribute to the keeping of the Sacrament of the Lords Supper pure in the Congregation to which you belong There is much complaint amongst many and not without just cause of mixt communions and of 〈◊〉 universal liberty which some take in giving the Sacrament promiscuously to all that come though grosly ignorant and notoriously scandalous and in making If I may so speak the Chancel-door as wide as the Church-door This in my judgement is a great iniquity 1 It is to give holy things to Dogs and to cast Pearls to Swine It is a prophanation of the Ordinance in giving it to those who are visibly unworthy to receive it and to whom wee know Christ would not have us to give it 2 It is an act of great uncharitableness to those who are grosly ignorant and scandalous For it is to give them that which wee know will further their damnation 3 It makes the Church-Officers who have power to hinder them and do not use it partakers of other mens sins 4 It is an Act of cruelty to the Nation For because wee have been Prodigal of Christs blood therefore hee hath been Prodigal of ours 5 It is a great scandal to the truly godly and a stumbling-block to weak Christians causing them though unadvisedly to separate from our Congregations 6 It is to walk contrary to the practise of most if not all of the Churches of Christ in the Christian world To prevent this Sacrament-prophanation there are some Ministers wh◠wholly surcease from administring it This I allow not unless in case of absolute necessity For this is as it were to suspend the whole Congregation and to deny Children their bread for fear of giving it to Dogs The best way is to follow the advice which our Lord Jesus Christ gives Matth. 18. 15 16 17. where hee propounds Rules and Directions for the removing of scandals out of the Church If thy Brother shall trespass against thee saith Christ go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone Hee doth not say Go and separate presently For this is to rend the Church not to heal it This is to hinder thy Brother from Christ rather than to gain him to Christ. Hee doth not say Go and tell others for this is to backbite thy Brother This is to reproach him rather than to reprove him But hee saith Go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone if hee shall hear thee thou hast gained thy Brother But if hee will not heare thee then take with thee one or two more c. And if hee shall neglect to hear them tell it to the Church that is to such who are impowred by Christ to redress offences but if hee neglect to hear the Church let him c. Hence learn That all Church-reformation and Sacrament-purity must begin from Church-members and proceed from them in Christs way unto Church-officers That if any man who is called a Brother bee a Fornicator or a Railer or a Drunkard or guilty of any other scandalous sin It is your duty who are members of the same body with him and know his guiltiness to labour by private admonition to gain him to God not to shame him by telling others but to gain him by telling him alone But if hee will not hear you then you are in an orderly way to bring it to the Church which if you neglect to do the sin of Church-pollution is your sin and not the sin of your Church-officers If there bee three doors to get into an house hee that keeps mee out of the first keeps mee out of the other two All Sacrament-reformation begins with you you are the first door at which it enters if you faile of your duty the sin lyeth at your door not at ours It is the custome of all people though otherwise godly if a scandalous sinner bee admitted to the Lords Supper to charge the sin of it upon the Minister and in the mean time to forget that the sin is theirs not his because they have not done what Christ would have them for the gaining of him and for the inabling of the Church to proceed against him by censures if hee prove obstinate The Lord give you hearts to thinke of this and give you grace instead of murmuring against and complaining of mixt communions and of separating from us because of them to contribute your utmost towards the purging of our Congregations and to practise all those duties which Christ requires of you in order thereunto I have much more to say of this particular but I perceive that the Epistle swells to too great a bigness and therefore I shall defer what I have further to say till God shall offer mee another such opportunity 18 Labour to maintain peace and unity amongst your selves It is a good and pleasant thing for brethren to dwell together in unity Have Salt in your selves and peace one with another Labour to get your souls seasoned with the grace of humility self-denial and mortification and this will keep you in peace Remember the saying of Christ Blessed are the Peace-makers Now I beseech you Brethren by the Name of our Lord Jesus Christ that yee all speak the same thing and that there bee no divisions among you but that yee bee perfectly joyned together in the same minde and in the same judgement 19 Study often and often the quatuor novissima the four last things Death Judgement Hell and Heaven The meditation of Death will prepare you for Death The meditation of Heaven will make you heavenly-minded The meditation of Hell will keep you from Hell Therefore Bernard perswades us to go often down to Hell by meditation while wee live and wee shall not go down to it when wee dye The meditation of the day of Judgement will bee both fraenum calcar a bridle to curb you from sin and a spur to incite you to all godliness that so you may give up your account with joy at that terrible day 20 Study the exceeding great and precious Promises of the Gospel make a Catalogue of them meditate on them and labour to apply them to your own souls for your everlasting comfort And for this
Dilectum delictum thy peccatum in deliciis thy beloved sin what is that sin to which thou art most of all inclined and if that sin prevaile over thee and thou canst not say with David Psal. 18. 23. I have kept my self from mine iniquity It is very probable that for the subduing of that sin thou art corrected of God 4 If ever thou hast been at the gates of death despairing of life consider what that sin was which did thee most of all trouble and perplexe thy conscience or if ever thou hast been in a dream supposing thy self to bee dying and breathing out thy last what was that sinne which did then most of all affright thee It is very likely that God by afflicting thee intends to get that sin more conquered and mortified 5 Consider what those sins are for which thy godly Minister under whose care thou livest doth reprove thee and of which thy true and real friends do accuse thee for if thou hast sleighted the voyce of thy faithful Minister and friends surely God out of his love to thee followeth their advice with the voyce of his Rod that thereby hee may open thine ear to Discipline and command thee to depart from those iniquities But if thou canst not finde out that particular sin for which God afflicts thee labour to repent of every sin and then thou wilt bee sure to repent of that sin If thou canst not finde out the Bee that stings thee pull down the whole Hive or the thorn that pricks thee pull down the whole Hedge Do that out of wisdome which Herod did out of malice who because hee could not finde out the Babe Iesus killed all the children in Bethlehem from two years old and under that so hee might bee sure to ' kill Iesus Let us seek the utter ruine and death of all our sins and then wee shall bee sure to destroy that sin for which God afflicts us and when the cause is removed the disease will forthwith bee cured and the Almighty pacified and reconciled unto us 2 Let us labour that the good wee reap by our afflictions may abide upon us after our recovery from them There are very many who while they are under the Rod seem to bee very penitent and do purpose and promise to amend their lives but as soon as the Rod is removed they returne like the Dog to the vomit c. Such was Pharaoh whilst he was plagued he confessed his sin and prayed for pardon but as soon as ever the judgement was gone hee hardened his heart Such were the Israelites Psal. 78. 34 35 36 37. They were not stedfast they turned back Just like a truantly School-boy who while his Master is whipping him will promise any thing but when it is done forgets presently to doe what hee promised Or like unto water which while it is upon the fire is very hot but as soon as ever it is taken off the fire presently groweth cold I knew a man who in the time of his sickness was so terrified in his conscience for his sins that hee made the very bed to shake upon which hee lay and cried out all night long I am damned I am damned and made many and great Protestations of amendment of life if God would bee pleased to recover him In a little while hee did recover and being recovered was as bad and as wicked as ever before And therefore let us labour that the good wee get by our afflictions may not vanish away with our afflictions but may abide on us after wee are recovered that wee may bee able to say with David It is good for mee that I was afflicted not onely that I am but that I was David praiseth God in health for the good hee had got in sickness and which still abode with him Let us say with the same Prophet Psal. 66. 13 14. I will go into thy house with burnt offerings I will pay thee my vows which my lips have uttered and my mouth hath spoken when I was in trouble Let us pray unto God that his afflictions may not onely skin over our spiritual diseases and coup up our sins but mortifie them and so change our natures that wee may never return to folly I will conclude this point with a famous saying of Plinius secundus worthy to bee written in letters of gold A friend writes to him and intreats him to give him advice how to frame his life so as hee might live as becomes a good man Hee returns him this answer I will not prescribe many rules there is this one only which I commend to thee above all other Ut tales esse perseveremus sani quales nos futuros profitemur infirmi Let us labour to continue and persevere to bee such when wee are well as wee purpose and promise to our selves to bee when wee are sick There is hardly any man so wicked but hee will in sickness make many and great promises of a new life and of universal reformation if God would restore him Now then if we not onely bee such but continue to bee such when restored as wee promise to bee when sick then wee shall bee excellent Schollars in the School of Affliction and God will either as I have already said deliver us out of affliction or send us to heaven by affliction So much for the first Truth supposed The End of the first Sermon THE Word of God IS THE Saints Delights SERMON II. PSAL. 119. 92. Unless thy Law had been my delights I should then have perished in mine Affliction NOw I come to speak of the second Truth supposed in the Text. That the Word of God is the Saints darling and delights not onely their delight but in the plural number their delights that is as our Annotations say a Saint doth greatly delight in Gods Law or as Iunius All the delight of a Saint is in Gods Law Gods word is the center of his delights Nisi lex tun erat omuit oblectatio mea Many were the troubles and sorrows of Davids life but against them all hee found as many comforts and delectations in Gods Word therefore hee saith vers 29. Thy Testimonies are my delights c. and 143. Trouble and anguish have taken hold on mee yet thy Commandements are my delights And in the Text Unless thy Law had been my delights c. Whilst others delight in vanity and iniquity whilst others take pleasure in hunting hawking carding dicing eating and drinking the Saints of God can say with Austin Sacr a Scripturae tuae sunt sanctae dellctae meae Thy holy Scriptures are my holy delights Quest. Why do the Saints of God take such delight in the Law of God Answ. 1. Because they are spiritually inlightned their eyes are opened to behold the glory and beauty and to understand the deep mysteries of the Law therefore David prayeth vers 18. Open thou mine eyes that I may behold wondrous things out of thy Law As the Apostle
Gal. 1. 8 9. Use 2. Let us prize the word of God above gold yea above fine gold Let us read it diligently reverently praying to God to give us the same spirit that wrote it to inable us to understand it and conscientiously to practise it Let us make it the joy and rejoycing of our heart and as it is in the Text Let us make it our Delights but of this I spake in the former point The onely motive I shall now use to perswade you to make the Word your Delights shall bee this in the Text. Because it will keep you from perishing in the time of your greatest affliction It will comfort you when you have most need of it that is under heart-sinking-afflictions and at the hour of death and it will comfort you when all outward comforts and creatures fail It wil bee food to strengthen your weake Faith Physick to cure the remainders of corruptions it will bee a Cordial to revive your drooping spirits and fainting souls It will make you more than Conquerors over all temptations and distresses Quest. But now the great Question is How a childe of God ought to manage and make use of the word of God so as to make it a Conduit of support and comfort in the day of his greatest Afflictions Answ. To bee able to do this there is a great deal of spiritual wisdom and understanding required For the word to many people is like Sauls Armour to David which was so cumbersome to him that hee could not wear it There are many know not how to use the Word so as to bee comforted by it As the woman of Samaria told Christ Ioh. 4. 11. The Well is deep and thou hast nothing to draw with So may â—I say The word of God is a deep Well it is a Well of salvation but it is deep and the deeper the sweeter but most people want Buckets to draw with they want a spiritual Art to fetch out of these Wells of salvation divine supportation and consolation and therefore to help you in this great work you must know That the word of God may bee divided into three parts Into Commandements Threatnings and Promises And though a Christian must not neglect the commanding and threatning word yet if ever hee would make the word a Channel of Divine comfort hee must study the promising-word for the Promises are a Christians Magna Charta for Heaven All comfort must bee built upon a Scripture promise else it is presumption not true comfort The Promises are pabulum fidei anima fidei the food of faith and the soul of faith As faith is the life of a Christian so the promises are the life of Faith Faith is a dead Faith if it hath no promise to quicken it As the Promises are of no use without Faith to apply them so Faith is of no use without a Promise to lay hold on And the great reason why the people of God walk uncomfortably in their afflictions is because they do not chew the Promises they are rare Cordials but as a man cannot taste the sweetness of a Cordial unless hee chew it no more can wee receive any spiritual refreshment from the Promises unless wee meditate on them The promises are as a Mine full of rich treasure but as Mines unless wee digge deep into them wee can never get the gold and silver hid in them no more can wee injoy the soul-ravishing comfort of the promises unlesse we digge into them by a serious consideration of them They are as a garden full of rare flowers able to sweeten any condition But because wee doe not walk in this garden and pick out these flowers hence it is that wee live so disconsolately and dejectedly under our afflictions There are many rare stories declaring the comfort that some of Gods Saints have received from the promises in the day of their distresse Mr. Bilney that blessed Martyr was much wounded in Conscience by reason of the great â—n hee committed in subscribing to the Popish errors but hee was much comforted by reading those words 1 Tim. 1. 15. This is a faithful saying and worthy of all acceptation that Iesus Christ came into the VVorld to save sinners of which I am the chief Beza was supported under his troubles by the words of Christ Iohn 10. 27 28 29. Mr. Bolton tells us of one that was upheld under great affliction and comforted from Isa. 26. 3. Of another from Isa. 57. 15. I knew a young maid that went triumphantly to Heaven by the refreshing shee found in that well known Text Matth. 11. 28. and many that have been wonderfully cheared by reading the eight Chapter of the Romans and by that Text 1 Ioh. 3. 14. VVee know that wee have passed from death unto life because wee love the Brethren The truth is there is no promise but if God bee pleased to illighten it and shew us our interest in it will afford a Harvest of joy It is with Promises as it is with Sermons That Sermon which once heard did not at all work upon us the same Sermon heard at another time may exceedingly affect us And the same Text of Scripture which sometimes doth not at all comfort us may at another time convey much comfort to us Two men troubled in conscience may both of them read the same chapter and hear the same Sermon and one of them may have his troubled minde pacified and the other continue troubled and the reason is because the Spirit of God makes the Word effectual to one and not to the other How often hath a distressed Saint read Mat. 11. 28. 1 Tim. 1. 15. Ioh. 10. 27 28. Isa. 26. 3. Isa. 57 15. 1 Ioh. 3. 14. and found no comfort in reading of them But if the Spirit of God did come in and open his eyes to behold the rich mercies wrapt up in these promises and his interest in them they would fill him with comfort above expression And therefore if ever you would make the Word of God Gods instrument to conveigh support and comfort to you in the time of soul-sinking afflictions you must study the promises and pray unto God that his Spirit may irradiate them and shew you the fulness of them and your interest in them Quest. How must wee improve the promises so as to make them spiritual bladders to keep us from being drowned in the deep waters of Affliction Ans. You must doe three things 1 You must make a Catalogue of the Promises 2 You must seriously ponder and meditate on them 3 You must apply them to your own souls as belonging to you in particular 1 You must make a Catalogue of the Promises you must gather them up as they lye scattered in the Word into a spiritual Nose-gay and binde them together You must doe as they that gather up ends of Gold and Silver you must lose none Every promise is as a ray of gold as a Star in the firmament And
for it because it will surely come it will not tarry This did Daniel when hee understood the time approached c. hee prayed Dan. 9. 2 3. Thus did David Psal. 56. 9 10 57. 1 2. Thus must you do These are the three great Duties which the Lord requires of us at all times but more especially in these our dayes wherein the Providences of God seem to run quite cross unto his promises The Lord give us grace to practise them So much for this Text. The End of the Fifth Sermon A Brief Repetition of what was said of Mrs. Elizabeth Moore at her Burial THough I have finished my Text yet I have another Text remaining of which I must speak a few words and that is The Party deceased at whose Funeral wee are here met Shee was a Woman I verily beleeve truly fearing God and yet throughout her whole life loaded with many and great troubles God picked her out to bee a pattern of afflictions as hee had not long before that Reverend and godly Minister Mr. Ieremiah Whitakers This Pattern teacheth us three Lessons 1 That all things come alike to all in this world and that no man knoweth love or hatred by any thing that is before him The best of Saints sometimes are upon the Dunghil when the vilest of men are upon the Throne The best of men are afflicted when the worst of men are in prosperity 2 That there is not so much evil in affliction or so much good in prosperity as the world imagineth For if there were God would not bestow so much prosperity upon the wicked and exercise his dear children with so many afflictions 3 That there will come a rewarding day in which it shall certainly bee well with the Righteous When I see a wicked man prosper I say Surely there will come a punishing day in which the wicked shall be turned into Hell When I see a godly man in adversity I say Verily there is a reward for the Righteous verily there is a God that judgeth in the earth Such examples prove that there is another life besides this And that if the godly had hope onely in this life they were of all people most miserable I will not trouble you with a relation of her Christian carriage in the time of her health because it is sufficiently known to most here present I shall onely take notice of her great care and diligence in making her calling and election sure Shee had not her Ark to build when the flood came nor her Corn to get when the seven years of Famine came Shee had laid up a stock of graces and comforts against the evill hour Shee had not her Evidences for Heaven to get at the houre of death But shee had collected and composed them in the time of her life and when shee came to dye shee â—ad neither her graces nor her comforts nor her Evidences for Heaven to seek shee had nothing to do but to dye Her sickness was very long and very painful concerning which I shall briefly acquaint you with these few particulars 1 God moved the hearts of very many godly people to take compassion of her sad and afflicted condition and to contribute liberally shee being poor towards her relief this merciful providence wonderfully comforted her She saw Gods love in it and was so much affected with it that she was for a little while really and exceedingly afraid notwithstanding her great torments by reason of a cancer in her breast lest she should have her heaven in this life and lest this mercy should bee all her portion The Lord recompence that labour of love and that Christian charity a thousand fold into the bosomes of those who manifested so much kindnesse to her 2 Her Patience was very great As God increased her pains hee increased her patience even to the admiration of such of us as were frequent spectators of it She was brought to such a sweet frame of spirit as to bee willing to live under all her torments as long as God pleased and to dye whensoever he pleased 3 Shee was a woman of a very fearful nature and in the time of her health had many doubts and scruples notwithstanding all her care forementioned about her salvation But in her sickness all her doubts vanished God chained up Satan The Devil had no power to tempt her shee felt a great calmness in her soul and had much inward peace and injoyed more of God and his consolations in the time of her sickness than in the time of her health 4 Shee was very forward in spreading and diffusing those graces which God had bestowed upon her and in giving good counsel to those who visited her I have heard her often and often perswading her friends to prize health and to improve it for the good of their souls to lay up against an evill day and to stock themselves with grace before sickness come Shee would frequently say O the benefit of health O prize health praise God for health and improve health for your eternal good 5 Shee was very well vers't in the Scriptures The Law of God was her delight and this kept her from perishing in her affliction Shee was continually fetching cordials out of the Word to comfort her under her great pains and to preserve her from fainting The twelfth Chapter of the Hebrews was a precious cordial to her so was the eight of the Romans and the 2 of the Corinthians the 4. Chapter and the 17 18. verses For our light affliction which is but for a moment worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory While wee look not at the things which are seen but at the things which are not seen for the things which are seen are temporal but the things which are not seen are eternal 1 Cor. 15 53 54 55 56 57. For this corruptible must put on incorruption and this mortal must put on immortality So when this corruptible shall have put on incorruption and this mortal shal have put on immortality then shal be brought to pass the saying that is written Death is swallowed up in victory O death where is thy sting O grave where is thy victory The sting of death is sinne and the strength of sin is the Law But thanks bee to God which giveth us the victory through our Lord Iesus Christ. Phil. 3. 21. Who shall change our vile body that it may bee fashioned like unto his glorious body according to the working whereby hee is able even to subdue all things unto himself A little before her death shee said In the Lord Iehovah there is righteousness and strength righteousness for justification and strength for supportation Shee said that the Word of God was the best cordial in the world And that one minutes being in Heaven would make amends for all her pain and misery 6 And lastly I cannot but take special notice of the happy close of her life and of the blessed end shee
beloved and it is my highest priviledge that hee will give mee leave to love him who only can satisfie my soul and redeâ—m it from death eternal who hath justified mee by his blood and sanctified mee by his Spirit whom therefore I love with all my heart and all my soul and all my might and all my strength Finding therefore that God hath drawn out my heart to love him and make choice of him alone I from hence gather and ground my hope that God loveth mee according to that Scripture 1 Ioh. 4. 19. Wee love him because hee first loved us I finde my heart much inflamed with love to all the children of God because they are Gods children and the more I see or finde or hear of God in them the more I finde my heart cleaving to them and I thinke I can truly say with David That my delight is in the Saints and those that excel in grace not because they are friends to mee or I have relation to them in regard of outward obligations but because they bear the Image of God upon them and manifest it in their holy conversation I love them whether rich or poor And though I did never know some of them but onely hear of their holiness and piety yet I could not but exceedingly love such Therefore I hope that I am passed from death to life because I love the Brethren 1 Ioh. 3. 14. I do not only love God and the children of God but I labour to keep his Commandements and they are not grievous to mee But I pray with David O that my waies were directed to keep thy statutes Lord inlarge my heart and I will run the waies of thy Commandements Give mee understanding and I shall keep thy Law yea I shall observe it with my whole heart for therein do I delight I finde I am one that is very thirsty after Jesus Christ and the grace of Christ and I thirst to have his image more and more stamped upon mee and I would fain bee assured by Gods Spirit that I am transplanted into Christ and therefore I long and indeavour after a true and lively Faith because that Grace is a soul-transplanting and uniting grace Now Christ hath promised to satisfie the thirsty Matth. 5. 6. and such Christ hath earnestly invited to come though they have nothing to bring but what may make against themselves yet to come empty and hee hath promised to fill them Isa. 55. 1 2. I am willing to confess and with all my heart to forsake all my sins I am willing to give glory to God in taking shame unto my self I acknowledge my self a guilty malefactor and judge my self worthy of the just condemnation of the righteous Judge of all the earth And I do not only confess my sins but with all my heart I desire to forsake them and to turn to the Lord Now hee hath said hee will have mercy on such and will abundantly pardon them For his thoughts are not as our thoughts nor his waies as our waies Isa. 55. 7 8. It is my constant indeavour to dye to sin to live to newness of life And this is my comfort and hope that hee who hath begun a good work in mee will perfect it For it is hee that worketh all our works in us and for us Isa. 26. 12. and hee that hath wrought in mee to will to do that which is pleasing in his sight will work in mee to do also and that of his good pleasure Phil 2. 13. I hope I am one whom God hath taken into Covenant with himself because hee hath bestowed upon mee the fruits of the Covenant because hee hath circumcised my heart to love him and hath put his fear into mee and hath wrought an universal change in mee and hath given mee a new heart and a new spirit yea his own spirit which hee hath put within mee even the Spirit of Truth which will guide mee into all Truth It is his own promise to give his holy Spirit to them that aske it of him as I have done often Luke 11. 13. and I hope that God will make it in his due time a witnessing and a comforting Spirit I will wait upon him for the accomplishment of all his promises both of grace and to grace Hee hath said hee will bee a Sun and a Shield he will give grace and glory and no good thing will hee with-hold from them that walke uprightly And hee hath promised to subdue our sins for us and hath said That sin shall not have Dominion over us Rom. 6. 14. That hee will bee our God and wee shall bee his children and hee will save us from all our uncleannesses I hope I have a share in this blessed Covenant of Free Grace As for my Affliction that lyeth upon mee though it bee in it self very heavy I much more desire the sanctification of it than the removal I earnestly labour to learn all those lessons which God teacheth mee by Affliction I know I should not bee scourged nor bee in tribulation but that I have need of it it is for my profit to make mee partaker of his holiness Afflictions are an evidence of Sonship Heb. 12. 6 7 8. God hath promised that all things shall work together for good to them that love and fear him And I have had much experience of his faithfulness who hath not suffered mee to bee tempted above what hee hath inabled mee to bear therefore I will bear the indignation of the Lord because I have sinned against him Hee hath chastized mee less than mine iniquities deserve Hee chastizeth mee here that hee may not condemn mee hereafter Faith is the condition of salvation Beleeve in the Lord Iesus Christ and thou shalt bee saved And this is his Commandement that wee should beleeve in his Son Iesus Christ Now I find nothing so hard to mee as to beleeve aright to cast away all my own Righteousness as dung in point of justification and to cast away all my unrighteousness so as that bee no bar to mee and to role and cast and venter my immortal soul upon Jesus Christ and his Righteousness for life and salvation by him alone and to see my self compleat in him this is supernatural Yet I must and will give glory to God and say Lord I beleeve help thou my unbeleef And by this I prove that this precious grace of faith is wrought in mee because Jesus Christ is to mee very precious and I finde in the Word that to them that beleeve hee is precious and I am willing to take Christ upon his own termes as hee is tendred in the Gospel and am willing to give up my self soul and body wholly to him and my love to God and to the children of God is a fruit of my Faith as also my desire to bee made like unto him For hee that hath this hope in him purifieth himself