it do her any service Nurse Fondly But we indanger her life by the consenting to this journey for she that hath been bred with tenderness and delicateness can never indure the coldes and heats the dirt and dust that Travellers are subject to Besides to be disturbed and broaken of her sleep and to have ill Lodging or perhaps none at all and then to travel a foot like a Pilgrim Her tender feet will never indure the hard ground nor her young legs never able to bear her body so long a journey Foster Trusty T is true this journey may very much incommode her yet if she doth not go to satisfie her mind I cannot perceive any hopes of life but do foresee her certain death for her mind is so restless and her thoughts works so much upon her body as it begins to waste for she is become lean and pale Nurse Fondly Well! Heaven bless you both and prosper your journey but pray let me hear often from you for I shall be in great frights and fears Foster Trusty If we should write it may chance to discover us if our Letters should be opened wherefore you must have patience Ex. Scene 10. Enter the Lady Bashfull and Reformer her Woman LAdy Bashfull Reformer I am little beholding to you Reformer Why Madam Lady Bashfull Why you might have told a lye for me once in your life for if you had not spoke the truth by saying I was the Lady they came to see they would never have guest I had been she for they expected me to have been a free bold Entertainer as they were Visitors which is as I do perceive to be rudely familiar at first sight Reformer But to have told a lye had been to commit a sin Lady Bashfull In my conscience tto please the effeminate Sex is to praise their beauty wit vertue and goa most pious and charitable act in helping the distressed Besides you had not only helped a present distress but released a whole life out of misery for as long as I live my thoughts will torment me O! They wound my very soul already they will hinder my pious devotions For when I pray I shall think more of my bashfull behaviour and the disgrace I have received thereby than of Heaven Besides they will starve me not suffering the meat to go down my throat or else to choke me causing it to go awry or else they will cause a Feaver for in my conscience I shall blush even in my sleep if I can sleep For certainly I shall dream of my disgrace which will be as bad as a waking memory O! that I had Opium I would take it that I might forget all things For as long as I have memory I shall remember my simple behaviour and as for my Page he shall go I am resolved to turn him away Reformer Why madam Lady Bashfull Because he let them come in Reformer He could not help it for they followed him at the heels they they never stayed for an answer from you or to know whether you were within or no and there were a great many of them Lady Bashfull I think there was a Legion of them Reformer You speak as if they were a Legion of Angels Lady Bashfull Nay they proved a Legion of Divels to me Reformer There was one that seemed to be a fine Gentleman but he spake not a word Lady Bashfull They may be all what you will make them or describe them for I could make no distinction whether they were men or women or beasts nor heard no articulated sound only a humming noise Reformer They spake loud enough to have pierced your ears if strength of noise could have done it but the Gentleman that did not speak looked so earnestly at you as if he would have looked you thorough Lady Bashfull O that his eyes had that piercing faculty for then perchance he might have seen I am not so simple as my behaviour made me appear Ex. Scene 11. Enter Sir Peaceable Studious and the Lady Ignorance his Wife SIr Peaceable Studious I have lost 500. pounds since you went in with the Ladies Lady Ignorance 500. Pounds in so short a time Sir P. Studious 'T is well I lost no more But yet that 500. pounds would have bought you a new Coach or Bed or Silver Plate or Cabinets or Gowns or fine Flanders-laces and now it s gone and we have no pleasure nor credit for it but it is no matter I have health for it therefore I will call to my Stewards to bring me some more Lady Ignorance No do not so for after the rate you have lost you will lose all your Estate in short time Sir P. Studious Faith let it go 't is but begging or starving after it is gone for I have no trade to live by unless you have a way to get a living have you any Lady Ignorance No truly Husband I am a shiftless creature Sir P. Studious Yes but you may play the Whore and I the Shark so live by couzening and cheating Lady Ignorance Heaven defend Husband Sir P. Studious Or perchance some will be so charitable to give us suck'd bones from stinking breaths and rotten teeth or greasie scraps from fowl hands But go wife prithy bid my Steward send me 500. pounds more or let it alone I will run on the score and pay my losings at a lump Lady Ignorance No dear Husband play no more Sir P. Studious How not play any more say you shall I break good Company with sitting out Besides it is a question whether I have power to leave off now I have once begun for Play is Witch-craft it inchants temperance prudence patience reason and judgment and it kicks away time and bids him go as an old bald-pated fellow as he is also it chains the life with fears cares and griefs of losing to a pair of Cards and set of Dice Lady Ignorance For Heaven sake pitty me If you consider not your self Sir P. Studious Can you think a Husband considers his wife when he forgets or regards not himself when all love is self-love for a man would have his Wife to be loving and chaste for his honours sake to be thrifty for his profit sake to be patient for quiet sake to be cleanly witty and beautifull for his pleasure sake and being thus he loves her For if she be false unkind prodigal froward sluttish foolish and ill-favoured he hates her Lady Ignorant But if a Husband loves his wife he will be carefull to please her prudent for her subsistence industrious for her convenience valiant to protect her and conversable to entertain her and wise to direct and guide her Sir P. Studious To rule and govern her you mean wife Lady Ignorance Yes but a Husbands follies will be but corrupt Tutors and ill Examples for a wife to follow wherefore dear Husband play no more but come amongst the effeminate Societie you will finde more pleasure at less charges Sir P. Studious Well wife You
shades to find thee out O! O death quick dispatch Let me unprisoned be my body is old decayed and worn times ruins shews it Oh! Oh! let life fall for pitty pull it down stops a time Am I not dead you cruel powers above to lengthen out an old mans life in misery and pain why did not Time put out the sight of both my eyes and also deaf my ears that I might neither hear nor see the death of my lifes joy O Luxurious Death how greedily thou feedst on youth and beauty and leist old Age hang withering on lifes tree O shake me off let me no longer grow if not grief shall by force snip off my tender stalk and pitty lay me in the silent grave Heark Heark I hear her call me I come I come Childe He feches a great sigh O no she is gone she is gone I saw her dead her head hung down like as a Lilly whose stalk was broke by some rude blusterous wind He stares about There there I see her on her dutious knee Her humble eyes cast to the ground Her spotlesse hands held up for blessings crave asking forgivenesse for faults not done O no She is dead She is dead I saw her eye-lids cloze like watry Clouds which joyn to shut out the bright Sun and felt her hands which Death made cold and numb like as to Cristal balls She is gone she is gone and restless grows my mind thoughts strive with thoughts struggle in my brain passions with passions in my heart make War My Spirits run like furies all about Help help for Heavens sake and let life out Ex. Scene 15. Enter the Lady Mother Love alone LAdy Mother Love O my daughter my daughter is dead she is dead Oh that ever I was born to bear a Childe to dye before me Oh she was the Comfort of my Heart the pleasure of my Eyes the delight of my life Oh she was Good she was Sweet she was Fair O what shall I do what shall I do Ex. Scene 16. Enter Sir Thomas Father Love half distracted SIr Thomas Father Love Mercury lend me thy winged feet that I may fly to Heaven there to observe how all the Gods and Godesses doe gaze upon my Beautiful Childe for she is fairer than the light that great Apollo gives and her discourse more ravishing than the Musick of the Spheres but as soon as she sees me she will leave them all and run unto me as she used to do kneeling will kiss my hands which she must not do being a Goddess and I a Mortal wherefore I must kneel to her and carry her an offering but what shall the offering be Let me think Why I will kneel and offer up my Aged life unto her Memory but now I think of it better I cannot dye in Heaven wherefore let me Study let me Study what she did love best when she lived upon the Earth O I now remember when I did ask her what she lov'd best she would Answer her Father and her Fame but I believe if she were here it would be a hard Question for her to resolve which she preferr'd and being not to be separated in Affection we will not part in our Resurrection wherefore Mercury farewel for I will fly up with the Wings of her good Fame And carry up her Wit and there will strow It on Heavens floor as bright as Stars will show Her Innocency shall make new Milky waies Her Virtue shall Create new Worlds to praise Her never-dying Name Ha Ho! It shall be so it shall be so Ex. ACT IV. Scene 17. Enter the Lady Innocence alone studious with her eyes to the ground thou casting them up speaks LAdy Innocence I am not so much in love with the World as to desire to live nor have I offended Heaven so much as to be afraid to dye then way should I prolong my life when Honour bids me dye for what Noble Soul had not rather part with the Body than live in Infamy Then t is not Death that affrights me and yet I find my Soul is loath to leave its bodily Mansion but O to be buried in Oblivions grave is all I fear no Monumental Fame nor famous Monument my Soul displeases that makes it loath to leave the body in forgotten dust whilst it doth sadly wander in the Aire She walks a turn or two as in a musing thought then speaks Soul be at ease for the Memory of the dead is but like a dying Beauty vades by degrees or like a Flower whither'd hath neither Sent Colour nor Tast but moulders into dust so hath the mind no form of what is past But like as formless heaps those Objects lye And are intomb'd in the dark Memory O Foolish Vanity to be so much a slave to Fame since those that Fame doth love the best and favoureth most are not Eternal Wherefore Nature perswades me to release my woe Though foolish Superstition Natures foe Forbids it yet Reason aloud sayes dye Since Ease Peace Rest doth in the grave still lye Walkes about as in a silent musing then speaks I am resolv'd then Come sweet Death thou friend that never fails give me my liberty But stay my hasty resolution for I would not willingly go to the grave as beasts doe without Ceremony for I being friendless those humane Funeral rites will be neglected none will take the pains nor be at the charge to see them perform'd but some base vulgar person will throw me into the Earth without respect or regard wherefore I will Living perform the Ceremonies and as a guess or friend be at my own Funeral it shall be so and I will prepare it Ex. Scene 18. Enter Sir Thomas Father Love alone and for a time walkes as in a musing or thinking with his eyes cast on the ground then speaks FAther Love Multitudes of Melancholy thoughts croud in my brain And run to pull down Reason from his Throne Fury as Captain leads the way Patience and Hope is trod upon O these distracted thoughts burrie my Soul about Seeking a place to get a passage out But all the Ports are stopp'd O Cursed Death for to prolong a life that is so weary of its Mansion Enter Mr. Comfort Sir Thomas Father Loves friend Friend Sir will you give order for your Daughters Funeral and direct how you will have her interred Father Love How say you why I will have you rip my body open and make it as a Coffin to lay her in then heave us gently on sighs fetcht deep and lay us on a Herse of sorrowful groans then cover us with a Dark Black Pitchy Spungy Cloud made of thick Vapour drawn from bleeding hearts from whence may tears of showers run powring down making a Sea to drown remembrance in But O remembrance is a fury grown Torments my Soul now she is gone Friend Sir where there is no remedy you must have patience Father Love Patience out upon her she is an Idle lazy Gossip and keep
Conver. T is true they did so in former times when the Crown kept up Ceremony and Ceremony the Crown but since that Ceremony is down their grandeur is lost and their splendor put out and no light thereof remains But they are covered with a dark rudenesse wherein the Clown justles the Lord and the Lord gives the way to the Clown the Man takes the wall of his Master and the Master scrapes legs with Cap in hand to the Servant and waits upon him not out of a generous and noble Nature but out of a base servile fear and through fear hath given the Power away Exper. Trav. I am sorry to hear the Nobility is so degenerated Ex. Scene 7. Enter the Lord Courtship and his Friend Master Adviser ADviser I wonder your Lordship should be so troubled at your Fathers commands which was to marry the Lady Ward unlesse she had been ill-favoured and old Lord Courtship O that 's the misery that she is so young For I had rather my Father had commanded me to marry one that had been very old than one that is so young for if she had been very old there might have been some hopes of her death but this young Filly will grow upon me not from me besides those that are young give me no delight their Company is dull Adviser VVhy she is not so very young she is fifteen years of Age Lord Court Give me a Lady to imbrace about the years of twenty rather than fifteen then is her Beauty like a full-blown Rose in Iune her VVit like fruit is ripe and sweet and pleasant to the ear when those of fifteen are like to green sharp Fruit not ripened by the Sun of Time Yet that 's not all that troubles me but I cannot endure to be bound in VVedlocks shackles for I love variety and hate to be ty'd to one Adviser VVhy you may have the more variety by marrying Lord Court No faith 't is a Bar for if I should but kisse my wives Maid which a thousand to one but I shall my wife if she doth not beat her Maid making a hideous noise with scoldings yet she will pour and cry and feign her self sick or else she would Cuckold me and then I am paid for all Adviser Faith my Lord it is a hundred to one but a man when he is maryed shall be Cuckolded were he as wife as Solomon as valiant as David as fortunate as Caesar as witty as Homer or as handsome as Absalom for Women are of the same Nature as men for not one man amongst a thousand makes a good Husband nor one woman amongst a thousand makes an honest Wife Lord Court No saith you might well have put another Cypher and made it ten thousand Adviser Well my Lord since you must marry pray let me counsel you This Lady Ward being very young you may have her bred to your own Humour Lord Court How is that Adviser VVhy accustome her to your wayes before you marry her let her see your several Courtships to several Mistresses and keep wenches in your house and when she is bred up to the acquaintance of your customes it will be as natural to her Lord Court VVhat to be a whore Adviser No to know your humours and to be contented thereat Lord Court VVell I will take your advice although it is dangerous And as the old saying is the Medicine may prove worse than the disease Adviser VVhy the worst come to the worst it is but parting Lord Court You say true but yet a divorce will not clearly take off the disgrace of a Cuckold Ex. Scene 8. Enter Poor Virtue and old Humanity HUmanity I have found out a service a Farmer which hath the report of an honest labouring man and his wife a good huswifely woman they have onely one daughter about your years a pretty Maid truely she is and seems a modest one but how you will endure such rough and rude work which perchance they will imploy you in I cannot tell I doubt you will tire in it Poor Virtue Do not fear for what I want in strength my industry shall supply Humanity But you must be fitted with cloaths according and proper to your service Poor Virtue That you must help me to Humanity That I will Ex. ACT III Scene 9. Enter Sir Fancy Poet and the Lady Contemplation SIr Fancy Poet Sweet Lady Contemplation although your thoughts be excellent yet there are fine curiosities and sweet pleasures to be enjoyed in the use of the world Contemplation Perchance so but would not you think that man a Fool that hath a great estate a large convenient house well situated in sweet and healthfull Aire pleasant and delightful having all about for the eyes to view Landskips and Prospects beside all the inside richly furnished and the Master plentifully served and much company to passe his time with as a resort of men of all Nations of all Ages of all qualities or degrees and professions of all humours of all breedings of all shapes of all complexions Likewise a recourse for all Wits for all Scholars for all Arts for all Sciences Also Lovers of all sorts Servants of all use and imployments Thus living luxuriously with all rarities and varieties and yet shall go a begging debasing himself with humble crouching inslaving himself to Obligations living upon cold Charity and is denyed often times unkindly or kickt out scornfully when he may be honoured at home and served in state would not you think that this man had an inbred basenesse that had rather serve unworthily than command honourably that had rather be inslaved than free Besides that mind is a fool that cannot entertain it self with it's own thoughts a wandring Vagabond that is never of seldome at home in Contemplation A Prodigal to cast out his thoughts vainly in idle words base to inslave it self to the Body which is full of corruption when it can create bodilesse Creatures like it self in Corporalities with which self Creatures it may nobly honestly freely and delightfully entertain it self VVith which the mind may not only delight it self but improve it self for the thoughts which are the actions of the mind make the soul more healthful and strong by exercises for the mind is the soules body and the thoughts are the actions thereof Fancy Poet After what manner will you form this Body Contempl. Thus Understanding is the Brain Reason the Liver Love is the heart Hate the Spleen Knowledge the Stomach Judgement the Sinews Opinions the Bones VVill the Veins Imaginations the Blood Fancy the Spirits the Thoughts are the Life and Motion or the Motions of the Life the outward Form is the Mind it self which sometimes is like a Beast sometimes like a Man and sometimes like a God Fancy Poet And you my fair Goddesse Ex. Scene 10. Enter the Lord Courtship and the Lady Amorous LAdy Amorous My Lord you are too covetous to take a wife meerly for her riches Lord Courtship Believe me Madam
as to take the Victory out of your fair hands or so vain-glorious as to attribute it to our selves or so ungratefull as not to acknowledg our lives and liberties from your valours wisdoms and good fortune or so imprudent as to neglect your power or so ill-bred as to pass by you without making our addresses or so foolish as to go about any action without your knowledge or so unmannerly as to do anything without your leave wherefore we entreat you and pray you to believe that we have so much honour in us as to admire your beauties to be attentive to your discourses to dote on your persons to honour your virtues to divulge your sweet graces to praise your behaviours to wait your commands to obey your directions to be proud of your favours and we wear our lives only for your service and believe we are not only taken Captives by your Beauties but that we acknowledge we are bound as your Slaves by your valours wherefore we all pray that you may not misinterpret our affections and care to your persons in believing we sent you away because we were weary of you which if so it had been a sin unpardonable but we sent you away for your safety for Heaven knows your Departure was our Hell and your Absence our Torments but we confess our errours and do humbly beg our pardons for if you had accompanied us in our Battels you had kept us safe for had we fought in your presence our Enemies had never overcome us since we take courage from your Eyes life from your smiles and victory from your good wishes and had become Conquerours by your incouragements and so we might have triumpht in your favours but hereafter your rules shall be our methods by which we will govern all our actions attending only wholy your directions yet give us leave humbly to offer our advise as Subjects to their Princess if you think fit we think it best to follow close the victory lest that our Enemies recruit their forces with a sufficient strength to beat us out of what we have gained or at least to hinder and oppose our entrance and hopes of Conquering them where if you will give us leave we will besiege and enter their Towns and rase their Walls down to the ground which harbour their disorders offending their Neighbours Kingdoms yet we are not so ambitous as to desire to be Commanders but to join our forces to yours and to be your assistants and as your Common Souldiers but leaving all these affairs of War to your discretion offering our selves to your service We kiss your hands and take our leaves for this time All the women fall into a great laughter ha ha ha ha Lady Victoria Noble Heroickesses by your valours and constant and resolute proceedings you have brought your Tyrants to be your Slaves those that Commanded your absence now humbly sue your presence those that thought you a hindrance have felt your assistance the time is well altered since we were sent to retreat back from the Masculine Army and now nothing to be done in that Army without our advise with an humble desire they may join their forces with ours but gallant Heroickesses by this you may perceive we were as ignorant of our selves as men were of us thinking our selves shifdels weak and unprofitable Creatures but by our actions of War we have proved our selves to be every way equal with men for what we want of strength we have supplied by industry and had we not done what we have done we should have lived in ignorance and slavery All the Female Commanders All the knowledge of our selves the honour of renown the freedome from slavery and the submission of men we acknowledge from you for you advised us counselled us instructed us and encouraged us to those actions of War wherefore to you we owe our thanks and to you we give our thanks Lady Victoria What answer will you return to the Masculine Army All the Commanders What answer you will think best Lady Victoria We shall not need to write back an answer for this Messenger may deliver it by word of mouth wherefore Sir pray remember us to your General and his Commanders and tell them that we are willing upon their submissions to be friends and that we have not neglected our good Fortune for we have laid siege to so considerable a Fort which if taken may give an easy passage into the Kingdome which Fort we will deliver to their forces when they come that they may have the honour of taking it for tell them we have got honour enough in the Battel we fought and victory we did win Exeunt Scene 9. Enter Monsieur la Gravity Monsieur Compagnion and Monsieur Comerade MOnsieur Compagnion We are bound to curse you Monsieur Gravity for retarding our visits to the Widows for I told you we should come too late if we did not go before their Husbands were buried Monsieur la Gravity But I do not hear they have made a promise to marry any as yet Monsieur Compagnion That 's all one unto us but the noblest youngest richest and fairest VVidow is gone for though she is not promised or married yet she is incloistered and that is worse than marriage for if she had been married there might have been some hopes her Husband would have died or been kill'd or some wayes or other Death would have found to have taken him away Monsieur Comerade Let us comfort our selves with hopes that it is but a Ladies humour which she will be soon weary of for when her Melancholy fit is over she will come forth of her Cloister and be fonder to marry than if she had never gone in Monsieur la Gravity VVell since she is gone let us assault the other Monsieur Compagnion VVhat the old woman that hath never a Tooth in her head Monsieur Comerade VVhy she is rich and she will kiss the softer for having no Bones in her mouth Monsieur Compagnion The Devill shall kiss her before I will besides an old woman is thought a Witch Monsieur la Gravity Pish that is because they are grown ill-favoured with Age and all young people think whatsoever is ill-favoured belongs to the Devill Monsieur Compagnion An antient man is a comely sight being grave and wise by experience and what he hath lost in his person he hath gained in his understanding besides beauty in men looks as unhandsome as age in women as being effiminate but an old woman looks like the picture of Envy with hollow Eyes fallen Checks lank Sides black pale Complexion and more Wrinkles than time hath Minutes Monsieur Comerade Nay by your favour some old women look like the full Moon with a red swell'd great broad face and their Bodies like as a spungy Cloud thick and gross like our fat Hostess Monsieur la Gravity Gentlemen why do you rail against antient women so much since those that are wise will never marry such Boyes
is my Secretary Secretary Here Madam Madam Iantil. Read the Will I caus'd you to write down The Will read I Jantil the Widow of Seigneur Valeroso do here make a free gift of all these following Item All my Husbands Horses and Saddels and whatsoever belongs to those Horses with all his Arms Pikes Guns Drums Trumpets Colours Waggons Coaches Tents and all he had belonging to the War to be distributed amongst his Officers of War according to each degree I freely give Item All his Library of Books I give to that College he was a Pupill in when he was at the University Item To all his Servants I give the sum of their yearly wages to be yearly paid them during their lives Item I give two hundred pounds a year pension to his Chaplin Doctor Educature during his life Item I give a hundred pound a year pension to his Steward during his life Item I give fifty pound a year pension to his Secretary during his life Item I give a hundred pound per annum for the use and repair of this Tomb of my dead Husbands Item I give a thousand pounds a year to maintain ten religious persons to live in this place or House by this Tomb Item I give three thousand pounds to enlarge the House and three thousand pounds more to build a Chapell by my Husbands Tomb Item Two hundred pounds a year I give for the use and repair of the House and Chapell Item I give my Maid Nell Careless a thousand pound to live a single life Item I give the rest of my Estate which was left me by my Husband Seigneur Valeroso to the next of his name These following Speeches and Songs of hers my Lord the Marquess of Newcastle writ Iantil. So 't is well O Death hath shakt me kindly by the hand To bid me welcome to the silent grave 'T is dead and nuns sweet Death how thou doest court me O let me clap thy fallen Cheeks with joy And kiss the Emblem of what once was lips Thy hollow Eyes I am in love withall And thy ball'd head beyond youths best curl'd hair Prethee imbrace me in thy colder Arms And hug me there to sit me for thy Mansion Then bid our Neighbour worms to feast with us Thus to rejoyce upon my holy day But thou art slow I prethee hasten Death And linger not my hopes thus with thy stay 'T is not thy fault thou sayest but fearfull nature That hinders thus Deaths progress in his way Oh foolish nature thinks thou canst withstand Deaths Conquering and inevitable hand Let me have Musick for divertisement This is my Mask Deaths Ball my Soul to dance Out of her frail and fleshly prison here Oh could I now dissolve and melt I long To free my Soul in Slumbers with a Song In soft and quiet sleep here as I ly Steal gently out O Soul and let me dy Lies as a sleep SONG O You Gods pure Angels send her Here about her to attend her Let them wait and here condoul Till receive her spotless Soul So Serene it is and fair It will sweeten all the Air You this holy wonder hears With the Musick of the spheres Her Souls journey in a trice You 'l bring safe to Paradice And rejoice the Saints that say She makes Heavens Holy-day The Song ended she opens her Eyes then speaks Death hath not finish'd yet his work h 'is slow But he is sure for he will do 't at last Turn me to my dear Lord that I may breath My last words unto him my dear Our marriage join'd our flesh and bone Contracted by those holy words made one But by our Loves we join'd each others heart And vow'd that death should never us depart Now death doth marry us since now we must Ashes to ashes be mingling our dust And our joy'd Souls in Heaven married then When our frail bodyes rise wee 'l wed again And now I am joy'd to lie by thy lov'd side My Soul with thy Soul shall in Heaven reside For that is all my In this last word she dies which when her Servants saw they cryed out she is dead she is dead Here ends my Lord Marquesses writing Doctor Educature sayes thus Doctor Educature She is dead she is dead the body hence convey And to our Mistriss our last rights wee 'l pay So they laid her by her Husband upon the Tomb and drawing off the Tomb goe out Exeunt ACT V. Scene 20. Enter Citizens Wives and their Apprentices 1 CItizens Wife Where shall we stand to see this triumphing 2 Citizens Wife I think Neighbour this is the best place 3 Citizens Wife We shall be mightily crouded there 2 Citizens Wife For my part I will stand here and my Apprentice Nathaniel shall stand by me and keep off the croud from crouding me Nathaniel Truly Mistriss that is more than I am able to do 3 Citizens Wife Well Neighbour if you be resolved to stand here we will keep you Company Timothy stand by me Timothy If you stand here Mistriss the Squibs will run under your Clothes 3 Citizens Wife No matter Timothy let them run where they will They take their stand 1 Citizens Wife I hope Neighbour none will stand before us for I would not but see this Lady Victoria for any thing for they say she hath brought Articles for all women to have as many Husbands as they will and all Trades-mens Wives shall have as many Apprentices as they will 2 Citizens Wife The Gods bless her for it Enter a Croud of people She is coming she is coming Officers come Stand up close make way Enter many Prisoners which march by two and two then enter many that carry the Conquered spoils then enters the Lady Victoria in a gilt Chariot drawn with eight white Horses four on a breast the Horses covered with Cloth of gold and great plumes of feathers on their heads The Lady Victoria was adorned after this manner she had a Coat on all imbrodered with silver and gold which Coat reach'd no further than the Calfs of her leggs and on her leggs and feet she had Buskins and Sandals imbroidered suitable to her Coat on her head she had a Wreath or Garland of Lawrel and her hair curl'd and loosely flowing in her hand a Crystall Bolt headed with gold at each end and after the Chariot marched all her Female Officers with Lawrel Branches in their hands and after them the inferiour she Souldiers then going through the Stage as through the City and so entring again where on the midst of the Stage as if it were the midst of the City the Magistrates meet her so her Chariot makes a stand and one as the Recorder speaks a Speech to her VIctorious Lady you have brought Peace Safety and Conquest to this Kingdome by your prudent conduct and valiant actions which never any of your Sex in this Kingdome did before you Wherefore our Gracious King is pleased to give you that which was never granted nor
none Company but Cowards and Fools and slothful conscientious Persons neither is she usefull but for indifferent imployments for what is of extraordinary worth Patience doth but disgrace it not set it forth for that which is transcendent and Supreme Patience cannot reach Wherefore give me Fury for what it cannot raise to Heaven it throwes it straight to Hell were you never there Friend No nor I hope shall never come there Father Love Why Sir I was there all the last Night and there I was tortured for chiding my Daughter two or three times whilst she lived once because she went in the Sun without her Mask another time because her Gloves were in her Pocket when they should have been on her Hands and another time because she slep'd when she should have studied and then I remember she wept O! O! those pretious tears Devil that I was to grieve her sweet Nature harmless Thoughts and Innocent Soul O how I hate my self for being so unnaturally kind O kill me and rid be of my painful life Friend He is much distracted Heaven cure him Exeunt Scene 18. Enter two Gentlemen 1. Gentleman The Miracle is deceas'd the Lady Sanspareile I hear is dead 2. Gent. Yes and it 's reported her Statue shall be set up in every College and in the most publick places in the City at the publick charge and the Queen will build a Sumptuous and Glorious Tomb on her sleeping Ashes 1. Gent. She deserves more than can be given her 2. Gent. I hear her death hath made her Father mad 1. Gent. Though her death hath not made every one mad like her Father yet it hath made every one melancholy for I never saw so general a sadness in my life 2. Gent. There is nothing moves the mind to sadnesse more than when Death devours Youth Beauty Wit and Virtue all at once Ex. Scene 19. There is a Hearse placed upon the Stage covered with black a Garland of Ciprus at the head of the Herse and a Garland of Mirtle at one side and a Basket of Flowers on the other Enter the Lady Innocence alone drest in White and her hair hound up in several coloured Ribbons when she first comes in speaks thus LAdy Innocence O Nature thou hast created bodies and minds subject to pains torments yet thou hast made death to release them for though Death hath power over Life yet Life can command Death when it will for Death dares not stay when Life would passe away Death is the Ferry-man and Life the waftage She kneels down and prayeth But here great Nature I do pray to thee Though I call Death let him not cruel be Great Jove I pray when in cold earth I lye Let it be known how innocent I die Then she rises and directs her self to her Herse Here in the midst my sadder Hearse I see Covered with black though my chief Mourners be Yet I am white as innocent as day As pure as spotlesse Lillies born in May My loose and flowing hair with Ribbons ty'd To make Death Amorous of me now his Bride Watchet for truth hair-colour for despair And white as innocent as purest Ayre Scarlet for cruelty to stop my breath Darkning of Nature black a type of death Then she takes up the Basket of Flowers and as she strews them speaks Roses and Lillies 'bout my Coffin strew Primroses Pinks Violets fresh and new And though in deaths cold arms anon I lye weeps I 'le weep a showr of tears these may not dye A Ciprus Garland here is for my head To crown me Queen of Innocence when dead A Mirtle Garland on the left side plac't To shew I was a Lover pure chast Now all my saddest Rites being thus about me And I have not one wish that is without me She placeth her self on her Herse with a Dagger or pointed knife in her hand Here on this Herse I mount the Throne of death Peace crown my soul my body rest on earth Yet before I dye Like to a Swan I will sing my Elegie She sings as she is sitting on the Herse thus Life is a trouble at the best And in it we can find no rest Ioyes still with sorrows they are Crown'd No quietnesse till in the ground Man vexes man still we do find He is the torture of his kind False man I scorn thee in my grave Death come I call thee as my slave Here ends my Lords Writing And just then stabs her self In the mean time the Lord de l'Amour comes and peeps through the Curtain or Hanging and speaks as to himself whilst she is a dying Lord de l'Amour I will observe how she passes away her time when she is alone Lady Innocence Great Iove grant that the light of Truth may not be put out with the extinguisher of Malice Lord de l'Amour How she feeds her melancholy He enters and goeth to her What are you acting a melancholy Play by your self alone Lady Innocence My part is almost done Lord de l'Amour By Heaven she hath stabb'd her self Calls Help Help Lady Innocence Call not for help life is gone so farr t is past recovery wherefore stay and hear my last words I die as judging it unworthy to out-live my honest Name and honourable Reputation As for my accusers I can easily forgive them because they are below my Hate or Anger neither are worthy my revenge But you for whom I had not only a devout but an Idolatrous Affection which offered with a zealous Piety and pure Flame the sincerity of my heart But you instead of rewarding my Love was cruel to my life and Honour for which my soul did mourn under a Veil of sadnesse and my thoughts covered with discontent sate weeping by But those mourning Thoughts I have cast off cloathing my self with Deaths pale Garments As for my pure Reputation and white Simplicity that is spotted with black Infamy by Hellish slander I have laid them at Heavens Gates just Gods to scoure them clean that all the World may know how innocent I have been But Oh! farewel my fleeting Spirits pure Angels bear away Lord de l'Amour O speak at the last Are you guilty or not Lady Innocence I am no more guilty of those crimes laid to my charge than Heaven is of sin O Gods receive me Oh! Oh! Dies Lord de l'Amour Great Patience assist me Heart hold life in Till I can find who is guilty of this sinn Ex. The Herse drawn off the Stage Scene 20. Enter Sir Thomas Father Love brought in a Chair as sick his Friend by him Mr. Comfort Friend How are you now Father Love O Friend I shall now be well Heaven hath pitty on me and will release me soon and if my Daughter be not buryed I would have her kept as long out of the Grave as she can be kept that I might bear her company Friend She cannot be kept longer because she was not unbowelled Father Love Who speaks her
give away what they have Portrait Talk not of womens souls for men say we have no souls only beautiful bodies Bon' Esprit But beautiful bodies are a degree of souls and in my Conscience please men better than our souls could do Superbe If anything prove we have no souls it is in letting men make such fools of us Matron Come come Ladies by Womens Actions they prove to have more or at least better souls than Men have for the best parts of the Soul are Love and Generosity and Women have more of either than Men have Grave Temperance The truth is that although Reason and Understanding are the largest parts of the Soul yet Love and Generosity are the delicatest parts of the Soul Enter Monsieur Heroick Heroick Goodmorrow young Ladies you appear this morning like sweet-smelling flowers some as Roses others as Lillies others as Violets Pinks and Primroses and your associating in a company together is like as a Posie which Love hath bound up into one Bucket which is a fit Present for the Gods Bon' Esprit If you would have us presented to the Gods we must die for we are never preferred to them but by Death wherefore we must be given to Death before the Gods can have us they may hear us whilest we live and we may hear of them but partake of neither until we die Heroick O that were pity Ladies for there is nothing more sad in Nature than when Death parts a witty Soul from a young beautiful Body before the one hath built Monuments of Memory and the other gained Trophies of Lovers And as for the Gods you will be as acceptable to them when you are old as when you are young Ambition As nothing could make me so sad as untimely death of Youth Wit and Beauty so there is nothing could anger me more as for Fortune to frown upon Merit or not to advance it according to its worth or to bury it in Oblivion hindring the passage into Fames Palace Temperance For my part I believe Death will neither call nor come for you before his natural time if you do not send Surfet and Excess to call him to take you away Pleasure Indeed Mankind seem as if they were Deaths Factors for they do strive to ingross and destroy all other creatures or at least as many as they can and not only other creatures but their own kinde as in Wars and not only their own kinde but themselves in idle and unprofitable Adventures and gluttonous Excess thus as I said they are Deaths Factors buying sickness with health hoping to gain pleasure and to make delight their profit but they are cozen'd for they only get Diseases Pains and Aches Matron Pray Ladies mark how far you are gone from the Text of your discourse as from sweet-smelling flowers to stinking carrion which are dead carkasses from a lively good-morrow to a dead farewel from mirth to sadness Portrait You say right Mother Matron wherefore pray leave off this discourse for I hate to hear off death for the thoughts of death affright me so as I can take no pleasure of life when he is in my mind Heroick Why Ladies the thought of death is more than death himself for thoughts are sensible or imaginable things but Death himself is neither sensible nor imaginable Portrait Therefore I would not think of him and when I am dead I am past thinking Superbe Let us discourse of something that is more pleasing than Death Heroick Then by my consent Ladies your discourse shall be of Venus and Cupid which are Themes more delightful to your Sex and most contrary to death for Love is hot and Death is cold Love illuminates life and Death quenches life out Bon Esprit Let me tell you Sir Love is as apt to burn life out as Death is to quench it out and I had rather die with cold than be burnt with heat for cold kills with a dead numness when heat kills with a raging madnesse Pleasure But Lovers are tormented with fears and doubts which cause cold sweats fainting of spirits trembling of limbs it breaks the sweet repose of sleep disturbs the quiet peace of the mind vades the colours of beauty nips or blasts the blossome of youth making Lovers look withered before Time hath made them old Heroick It is a signe Lady you have been in love you give so right a Character of a Lover Pleasure No there requires not a self-experience to find out a Lovers trouble for the outward Actions will declare their inward grief and passion Superbe Certainly she is in love but conceals it she keeps it as a Secret Pleasure Love cannot be secret the passion divulges it self Portrait Confess Are you not in love Faction Nay she will never confess a Secret unless you tell her one for those that tell no secrets shall hear none Portrait O yes for a Secret is like a child in the womb for though it be concealed for a time it will come out at last only some comes out easier than others and some before their time Ambition Nay whensoever a secret comes out it 's untimely Faction Secrets are like Coy Ducks when one is flown out it draws out others and returns with many Pleasure Then like a Coy Duck I will try if I can draw all you after me Exit Pleasure Bon' Esprit She shall see she is like a Duck which is like a Goose and we like her for we will follow her Exeunt Scene 8. Enter Monsiuer Tranquillities Peace and his Man TRanquill Peace Have you been at Monsieur Busie's house to tell him I desire to speak with him Servant Yes I have been at his house Tranquill. Peace And will he come Servant Faith Sir the house is too unwieldy to stir and Monsieur Busie is too Active to stay at home but the truth is I went at four a clock this morning because I would be sure to find him and his servants and their Master was flown out of his nest an hour before Then I told his servants I would come about dinner-time and they laugh'd and ask'd me what time was that I said I supposed at the usual time about Noon or an hour before or after but they said their Master never kept any certain time of eating being full of business Then I asked them what time that would be when he would come home to bed They answered that his time of Resting was as uncertain as his time of Eating Then I pray'd them to tell me at what time they thought I might find him at home They said it was impossible for them to guess for that their Master did move from place to place as swift as thoughts move in the Mind Then I pray'd them that they would tell him when he came home that you would desire to speak with him They told me they would but they did verily believe he would forget to come to you by reason his head was so full of busie thoughts or thoughts of
not set a fouler mark than thy self upon me therefore come not near me Matron Worse and worse worse and worse O that I were so young and fair as my Beauty might get me a Champion to revenge my quarrel But I will go back to the Ladies they are fair and young enough as being in the Spring of Beauty although I am in my Autumnal years Satyrical Thou art in the midst of the Winter of thine Age and the Snow of Time is fallen on thy head and lies upon thy hair Matron They that will not live untill they are old the Proverb sayes They must be hang'd when they are young and I hope it is your Destiny Exeunt Scene 24. Enter Liberty and Wanton and Surfet LIberty I am come to tell you Wanton and Surfet that my Lady is gone to receive the Visit of Monsieur Tranquillities Peace who is come to see her and old Matron Temperance is gone to wait upon her wherefore you may go for there is none left with the five Senses but Excess They run out then enters the Five Senses in Antick Dresses to distinguish them but they behave themselves as mad-merry dancing about in Couples as Hearing with Wantonness Idle with Scent and Excess with Sigh and Surfet with Taste and Touch dances alone by her self and when they have danced they go out Exeunt Scene 25. Enter Bon' Esprit Superbe Faction Portrait Ambition FAction I wonder Mother Matron should stay so long Portrait I cannot guess at the reason Bon' Esprit She might have deliver'd her Message twice in this time Enter Mother Matron All the Ladies speak at once Ladies Mother Matron Welcome welcome welcome What Newes what Newes Faction What says Monsieur Satyrical Bon' Esprit Will he come Portrait Or will he not come pray speak Superbe Are you dumb Mother Matron Matron Pray Ladies give me some time to temper my passion for if a house be set on fire there is required sometime to quench it Ambition But some fires cannot be quenched Matron Indeed my fire of Anger is something of the nature of the unquenchable fire of Hell which indeavours to afflict the Soul as well as to torment the Body Superbe Iove bless us Mother Matron Are you inflamed with Hell-fire Matron How should I be otherwise when I have been tormented with a Devil Ambition Jupiter keep us What have you done and with whom have you been Matron Marry I have been with a cloven-tongu'd Satyr who is worse far worse than a cloven-footed Devil Bon' Esprit Is all this rage against Monsieur Satyrical Matron Yes marry is it and all too little by reason it cannot hurt him Faction How hath he offended you Matron As he hath offended you all railed against you most horribly railed against you He says you are all mad and hath condemned your Poems to the fire and your imployment to the making of bone-lace Bon' Esprit Why these sayings of his do not offend me Ambition Nor me Portrait Nor me Superbe Nor me Matron But if he had said you had been old and ill-favour'd carrion for Crows dust and ashes for the grave as he said to me then you would have been as angry as I Bon' Esprit No truly I should have only laughed at it Faction By your favour I should have been as angry as Mother Matron if I had been as old as she so I should have been concerned in the behalf of my Age Matron Marry come up are you turned Lady Satyrical to upbraid me with my Age Is this my reward for my jaunting and trotting up and down with your idle Message to more idle persons men that are meer Jackstraws flouting companions railing detractors such as are good for nothing but to put people together by the cars Faction By the Effects it proves so for you and I are very neer falling out But I thought you would have given me thanks for what I said as taking your part and not inveterates your spleen Matron Can you expect I should give you thanks for calling me old Can the report of Age be acceptable to the Effeminate Sex But Lady let me tell you if you live you will be as old as I and yet desire to be thought young For although you were threescore yet you would be very angry nay in a furious rage and take those to be your mortal Enemies that should reckon you to be above one and twenty for you will think your self as beautiful as one of fifteen Faction I do not think so although I believe our Sex have good opinions of themselves even to the last gasp yet not so partial as to imagine themselves as one of fifteen at threescore Matron It is proved by all Experience that all Mankind is self-conceited especially the Effeminate Sex and self-conceit doth cast a fair shadow on a foul face and fills up the wrinkles of Time with the paint of Imagination Portrait But the Eyes must be blind with Age or else they would see the wrinkles Time hath made in the despight of the paint of Imagination Superbe By your favour Self-conceit doth cause the Eyes of Sense to be like false glasses that cast a youthful gloss and a fair light on a wither'd skin For though the deep lines in the face cannot be smoothed yet the lines or species in or of the sight may be drawn by self-conceit so small as not to be perceived And were it not for the Eyes of Self-conceit and the Paint of Imagination as Mother Matron says which preserves a good Opinion of our selves even to the time of our Death wherein all remembrance is buried we should grow mad as we grow old for the losse of our Youth and Beauty Matron I by my faith you would grow mad did not Conceit keep you in your right wits Faction The truth is our Sex grow melancholy when our Beauty decayes Portrait I grow melancholy at the talking of it Ambition Let us speak of some other subject that is more pleasing than Age Ruine and Death Bon' Esprit Let us talk of Monsieur Satyrical again Matron He is a worse subject to talk of than Death Bon' Esprit As bad as he is you shall carry another Message to him Matron I will sooner carry a Message to Pluto for in my Conscience he will use me more civilly and will send you a more respectful Answer than Monsieur Satyrical Bon' Esprit Indeed I have heard that the Devil would flatter but I never heard that a Satyrical Poet would flatter Matron But a Satyrical Poet will lye and so will the Devil and therefore talk no more of them but leave them together Exeunt Scene 26. Enter Temperance and Madamoiselle Pleasure PLeasure O Temperance I am discredited for ever the Ladies the Senses are all sick What shall I do Temperance You must send for some Doctors Pleasure What Doctors shall I send for Temperance Why Old Father Time he hath practiced long and hath great Experience then there is Rest and
his first Wife either for goodness or badness Ease For my part I would not be kept in remembrance by one in my room but howsoever I shall love my self better than I 'm sure I shall love my Husband and therefore I desire to live long for I had rather live and have him in remembrance than die and to forget him and I had rather remember than be remember'd Enter Grave Temperance Pleasure O Temperance I heard say that you have seen the rare Beauty Madamoiselle la Belle Portrait And is she so handsome as she is reported to be Temperance Truly she is a pretty young Lady Faction Is she only a pretty Lady Bon' Esprit Why she is young and those that are very young are only pretty but those that are at full growth are beautiful and handsome and those in their Autumnal years are Lovely and those that are old are ill-favour'd Temperance No no those Women that have been once handsom never grow ill-favour'd Pleasure Well setting aside old women what say you to the young Lady Temperance I say she is handsomer at a distance than neer-hand Superbe That 's well for then her praises will be only at a distance Temperance No by 'r Lady she hath Beauty enough to be praised to her face Portrait I had rather appear handsomer at a distance than at a near view than seem worse at a distance and handsomer at a near view Ambition Why so Portrait By reason there is no Woman but is seen more by strangers than acquaintance besides whole streets of people view Ladies as they passe through in their Coaches when perchance not above half a dozen neighbours and acquaintance see them near hand Faction So you may have many Admirers but few Lovers Portrait Faith the rarest Beauties that ever were the more they were known and seen the less Esteem'd and Admir'd they were for an unacquainted face appears or at least pleaseth better although but an indifferent Beauty than a common face although it excels with Beauty Pleasure Did you not hear Madamoiselle la Belle speak Temperance No faith she may be dumb for any thing I know Bon' Esprit How is she behav'd Temperance After the Country Mode Ambition What manner of Woman is her Mother Temperance A Country Lady Faction Faith if Madamoiselle la Belle hath neither Wit nor Behaviour her Beauty will be dim'd for the want of either for Wit and Behaviour are the Polishers of Beauty otherwise Beauty is but like a Diamond unfil'd or unpolish'd or like gold untry'd or unresin'd Temperance Nay Ladies she may have a great Wit for all that I know for she did not express either simplicity or ignorance whilst I was in her company she spake not one word Superbe Let us examine no more but let us go see her and then discourse with her Exeunt Scene 10. Enter Mother Matrons Maid and Monsieur Frisk FRisk Pretty Maid would you speak with me Maid Yes and if 't please your Worship Frisk From whom come you Maid From my Mistris Frisk Who is your Mistris Maid Mother Matron Frisk What Message hath Mother Matron sent to me Maid She hath sent your Worship a Letter and desires your Worship to send her an Answer Frisk Go and stay within and I will give you an Answer Exit Maid Frisk This Letter is concerning some of the young Ladies that are in Love with me He kisseth the Letter Blessed Letter that art the Messenger of Love the Presenter of Youth Beauty and Wit and the Inviter to Pleasure He opens the Letter and reads it aloud as to himself The Letter Sweet Monsieur Frisk O Dear Monsieur Frisk since I last saw you and heard you speak so wisely as that you would wait upon the Ladies and proffer so kindly as to proffer me a kiss meeting you in the Lane called Loves Folly O that Lane that fortunate or unfortunate Lane for as my wishes succeed the Lane proves good or bad for since that time of meeting I have loved you or rather I may say I have been in Love with you or rather I may say I have Fancy'd you beyond all other young Gentlemen and I hope you will return the like to me For though I am not in my blooming Beauty yet I am not quite decay'd but there remains some fresh colour wherewith a young Gentleman may take delight and let me tell you the Autumn is more pleasant than the Spring for the Spring is raw and cold the Autumn is warm and comfortable wherefore let me perswade you sweet Monsieur Frisk to chuse the Autumnal fruits and reject the Springing buds which are incipid and tasteless Ripe fruit's are better than green and VVinter-fruits more lasting than the fruits of the Summer Staid Gravity is more happy to live with than wilde Inconstancy the wisedome of Age is more profitable than the follies of Youth not that I say I 'm old nor pray think me not so but that I am as wise as Age can make me and VVisedome is not a portion that is given to every one yet what wisedome I have I will impart to you sweet Monsieur Frisk you shall be the Receiver the Treasurer and the Disposer also with my wisedome I give my heart with my heart I give you my person which wisedom heart and person is not to be despised for by my wisedome you will receive Counsel with my heart Love and with my person that Beauty Time hath left me who like a cheating knave hath rob'd me of some but yet there is enough left dear Monsieur Frisk to delight your view for although I am not like Hellen of Greece yet I am like Hellen when she was Hellen of Troy for then by my faith she was in her Autumnal years as I am which was about fifty or by'r Lady somewhat more and then she was as dear to her Paris witness Troy and as much desired of her of witness the Greeks as when she was but fifteen Wherefore dear Frisk let me be thy Hellen and be thou my Paris and let our Loves be as bright as the fire of Troy but not so consuming but if thou deny'st me I shall consume in mine own flames and be buried in mine own ashes which will fly in the face of thy cruelty to revenge me thy Languishing Lover namely Mother Matron Frisk A pox of her luxurious Appetite to be Amorous at fourscore one might have thought nay sworn that Cupids fire had been put out with Times Extinguisher but I perceive by Mother Matron that time hath no power over that Appetite but I am forty time hath made her such a creature as not to be capable of curses for she is her self a curse beyond all I could give her but if she were capable I would bury her under a mountain of curses for raising up my hopes to the height of young beautiful Ladies by the outside of the Letter and then frustrating my expectation by the inside causing me to fall
from the bower of bliss into the grave of life the habitation of death from a young Beauty to an old doting Woman Oh I will tear this letter that hath deceived me but stay I will keep this letter to make sport amongst the young Ladies which sport may perchance insinuate me into some favour with the young Ladies for as idle and ridiculous pastime or means as this is hath got many times good success amongst Ladies wherefore I will for their sport-sake jestingly Court Mother Matron and in the mean time of the Progress write her a letter Exit ACT III Scene 11. Enter Madamoiselle Ambition and Monsieur Inquisitive INquisitive I hear Madamoiselle Ambition you are to marry Monsieur Vain-glorious Ambition No for I am too honest to marry one man and love admire and esteem another man beyond him but when I marry I will marry such a one as I prize honour love and admire above all other men or else I will never marry Inquisitive What man could you esteeem honour and love most Ambition He that I thought had the noblest Soul and had done the most worthyest Actions Inquisitive But put the case that man that were as you would have him were so ingag'd as you could not enjoy him in lawful mariage Ambition I could lawfully enjoy him although I could not lawfully marry him Inquisitive As how Ambition As in Contemplation for I could enjoy his Soul no otherwise if I were maried to him for if I were maried I could but contemplate of his Merits please my self with the thoughts of his Virtues honour his generous Nature and praise his Heroick Actions And these I can do as much although I should live at distance from him nor never be his Wife for the mariage of Bodies is no enjoyment of Souls Inquisitive This would only be an opinion of delight but no true enjoyment of pleasure for though an Opinion may affright the Soul yet the Opinion cannot pleasure the Body But say an Opinion could delight the Soul without the Senses yet the pleasures of the Senses are to be preferred before the delight of the Soul for the truth is that the spirits of life take more delight in sensual pleasures than in the Souls imagination for life lives in the Senses not in the Soul for were there no Senses there would be no Life Ambition By your favour there is life in the Soul when Death hath extinguish'd the Senses Inquisitive That 's more than you know you believe it only upon report but who hath had the trial or experience of the truth of it So that the report is upon an unknown ground and your belief is built upon an unsure Foundation Ambition What belief is for my advantage I will strive and indeavour to strengthen it on what foundation soever it 's built upon Exeunt Scene 12. Enter Monsieur Frisk and Mother Matrons Maid FRisk You will pardon me pretty Maid for causing you to stay so long for an Answer of your Mistris's Letter Maid There requires no pardon Sir for I have been very well entertain'd by your man I thank him Frisk I perceive my man hath had better fortune than his Master for he hath had youth to entertain but I hope if you receive the mans entertainment so thankfully you will not refuse the Masters Maid My Mistris would be jealous of your Worship if you should entertain me Frisk Why doth your Mistris love me so much Maid So much as she cannot sleep quietly for dreaming of you nor lets me sleep for she wakes me every night to tell me her dreams Frisk What dreams she Maid One dream was she dream'd that she was Diana and you Acteon Frisk What to set horns on my head Maid No my Mistris said that she in her dream did more as a Godess ought to have done than Diana did for she was generous in her dream and not cruel for instead of horning you she invited you into her Bath Frisk I hope you were one of her Nymphs Maid Another time she dream'd you were Mercury and she Herce and another that she was Venus and you Adonis but the last night she awaked out of a fearful dream Frisk What dream was that Maid She dream'd that she was Queen Dido and you the Prince AEneas and when you were ship'd and gone away she stab'd her self Frisk If she were Dido I should prove AEneas Maid On my Conscience she fetch'd as many sighs when she awak'd and made as many pitious complaints and lamentations as if her dream had been true and she really bad been Queen Dido insomuch as I was afraid that she would have killed he self indeed and was running forth the Chamber to call in company to hinder her but that she commanded me to stay saying that it was but the passion of her dream for she hoped that you would prove a more constant and faithful Lover than to leave her to despair Frisk The next time she is in the same passion tell her I will be like AEneas meet her in Hell In the mean time carry her this Letter Maid Lord Lord she will be a joy'd woman to receive a letter from you and I shall be a welcome Messenger unto her and the letter will be worth a new gown to me Frisk I wish it may be a gown of price to thee Exeunt Scene 13. Enter Monsieur Satyrical and Madamoiselle Bon' Esprit BOn Esprit How shall I pacifie my companions or qualifie their spleens who will be in a furious rage when they perceive and know my real love to you for they made me as their hook to the line of their Angle and hope to catch you like a Gudgion Satyrical All that Angle do not catch yet you have drawn me forth of the salt Satyrical Sea Bon' Esprit But their desire is that you should lie gasping on the shore of Love Satyrical Would they be so cruel as not to throw me into a fresh River Bon' Esprit No for they joy in the thought of your torments and their general prayers are to Cupid imploring him to wound you with a golden-headed Arrow and she you love with an Arrow headed with lead As for their particular prayers they are after this manner One prays you may sigh your self into Air and the Air so infectious as it may plague all the Satyrical of your Sex Another prayeth you may weep tears of Vitriol and that the sharpness of those tears may corrode your soul Another prays that your passion of love may be so hot as it may torment you as Hell-fire doth the damned but Mother Matron besides saying Amen to all their prayers makes her prayers thus That she for whose sake you must endure all these torments may be the oldest and most ill-favour'd deform'd woman that ever Nature Accident and Time made Satyrical She would have me in Love with her self it seems by her prayer Bon' Esprit If she did hear you she would die for want of Revenge
hope I shall be shortly Parrot Come we will go and chide your Husband that he hath been maried a week and his Wife not with child Lady Gosling Yes pray goe chide him and I will bear your company Exeunt Scene 45. Enter the Prince and Princess PRincess Sir pray perswade the unmaried Ladies to dance for I cannot intreat them Prince That 's strange for Ladies will dance without intreating for no intreating will make them sit still Princess It seems they are not in their dancing-humour to day for every one finds some excuse for to deny Prince Let them alone and take no notice of their reserved humours and they will dance without intreating nay they will intreat you they may dance Enter a Gentleman Gentlem. If it please your Highness the Ladies desire you would give them leave to Celebrate your Mariage with their Mirth and to express their Joy with their Dancing Prince We shall take it as a Favour to our Nuptials Exit Gentleman Prince Did not I tell you they would desire to dance Princess Truly I was so ignorant as I knew not so much the nature of our Sex Prince You knew not so much of their follies Exeunt Scene 46. Enter Mistris Parle Mistris Fondly Mistris Trifle Mistris Vanity VAnity Let us strive to make the Bride jealous Parle That 's impossible now but you may not work to good effect some a half a year hence Fondly Why I have known a Bridegroom leer her the next day he was maried Trifle Perchance a Bridegroom may for men are sooner cloy'd than women but a Bride will fondly hang about her Husbands neck a week at least Parle A week nay a moneth for a woman is fond the first moneth sick the second moneth peevish the third moneth coy the fourth moneth false the fifth moneth and Cuckolds her Husband the sixth moneth Fondly Then a maried man sprouts Horns in half a year Parle Yes for they are set the day of his mariage and some half a year after they are budded but not so fully grown as to appear to the publick view Trifle But will nothing hinder the growth Parle No 'faith but Death and Death like a Frost doth nip those tender buds Vanity Which death the mans or the womans Parle The womans for if the man dies and his Widow marries again the dead Husband is horn'd in his Grave and the living Husband is horn'd in his Bed Vanity Then their Horns may be put together as Stags in Rutting-time Fondly I had rather make Horns than talk of Horns therefore I 'll go dance Exeunt Scene 47. Enter two Gentlemen 1 GEntlem. Where have you been 2 Gent. At Church 1 Gent. Did a fit of Devotion hurry you to the Church to pray 2 Gent. No 'faith I went not to pray but to joyn a pair of Lovers hands in Wedlocks Bonds for they chose me to be their Father to give them in the Church 1 Gent. What Lovers were they that were so foolish to marry 2 Gent. So honest you mean 1 Gent. There is more folly in 't than honesty in my opinion 2 Gent. Thou art an Infidel nay a very Athiest 1 Gent. I am a Naturalist But who are they that are maried 2 Gent. Why Sir William Holdfast and the Lady Mute 1 Gent. The truth is he is a worthy Person and she is a virtuous and sweet Lady wherefore they deserve each other besides she is an Heir and he hath a great Estate 2 Gent. He hath so 1 Gent. What is the Wedding kept private 2 Gent. Yes there are only two or three Friends but I must goe dine with them therefore fare thee well unless you will go with me for you know you shall be welcome 1 Gent. I know I shall therefore I shall go with you Exeunt Scene 48. Enter the Prince and Princess and all the Ladies and Gallants as Knights and Gentlemen They dance upon the Stage and then go out FINIS EPILOGUE OUr Auth'ress here hath sent me for her pay She 's at the Charge of Wit to make the Play But if you think it not worthy of Praise Nor an Applause of Hands her Fame to raise She doth desire that it in pawn may lie Till redeem'd by a better Comedie The Actors Names The Lord Widower Sir William Lovewell and the Lady Hypocondria his wife Sir Henry Sage and the Lady Chastity his wife Sir Edward Courtly and the Lady Iealousie his wife Sir Humphrey Disagree and the Lady Disagree his wife Sir Thomas Cuckold and the Lady Wanton his wife Sir Timothy Spendall and the Lady Poverty his wife Sir Iohn Dotard and the Lady Driping his wife Sir Francis Inconstant and the Lady Inconstant his wife Sir Iames Hearty the Lady Inconstants Father Monsieur Amorous Monsieur Disguise The Lady Sprightly the Lord Widowers Daughter The Lady Procurer Mistris Forsaken afterwards named Monsieur Disguise Mistris Single sister to the Lady Jealousie Doll Subtilty the Lady Sprightly's Chambermaid Also a Waiting-Gentlewoman Nan Lightheel the Lady Jealousies Maid and likewise a Waiting-Gentlewoman Joan Cry-out the Lady Hypocondria's Chamber-maid and likewise a Waiting-Gentlewoman Briget Greasy Sir John Dottards Kitchin maid and two other Maids of his Three Maid-servants of the Lady Poverty 's Two or three Maid-servants of the Lady Disagree's A Maid-servant to the Lady Inconstant Nic Adviser Sir Francis Inconstants man Roger Trusty Sir William Lovewels man A Serving-man of Sir James Hearty's A Skipper Doctors and others Steward The first Part of the Play called the MATRIMONIAL TROUBLE A COMEDY ACT I. Scene 1. Enter Sir Francis Inconstant and Mistris Forsaken SIr Fran. Incon. When I forsake you let Heaven forsake my Soul Mistris Forsaken I do not doubt you for if I did I could not love you and whilst I love you I cannot doubt you Inconstant O how it wounds my heart to part from you my Thoughts are tortur'd and my Mind is set upon a melancholy Rack Forsaken Since your Journey cannot be conveniently avoided I will please my self with the hopes of your sudden Return Inconstant Farewel sweet Mistris Death is the worst of Nature and your Absence the worst of Fortune Exeunt Scene 2. Enter Master Thrifty the Steward and Briget Greasy the Cook-maid BRiget Greasy Good Master Steward give Order for some Beef-suet to be brought in for there is nor any left in the House and I must make a Venison-pasty and if I should temper my Pasty all with butter you would be angry Thrifty Why cannot you take some of the fat from the Beef-broth for your Crust Briget Yes if every one that eat of it had as fresh a mouth as you or loved drink so well as you do it would serve otherwise it would be too salt for their palats besides I am to make puddings in guts Thrifty If they prove as the last you made the dogs may eat them for the guts stunk so much as no man could eat any of them Briget I 'm sure 't was your fault in that
the Enemies hope to gain an advantage of his absence but he hath put a Deputy in his place to command in chief untill he recovers 1 Gent. What is become of the Female Army Messenger I hear they are marched towards the Masculine Army but upon what design I cannot understand Exeunt Scene 21. Enter Madam Jantil and her Maid Nell Careless Madam Iantil. Call my Steward The Maid goes out The Lady walks in a musing posture her eyes fixt on the ground Enter the Steward weeping Steward O Madam that I should live to hear this cursed news of my dear Lord and Masters Death Madam Iantil. Life is a curse and there 's none happy but those that dye in the womb before their birth because they have the least share of misery and since you cannot weep out life bear it with patience but thy tears have almost washt out the memory of what I was to say but this it is that I would have you sell all my Jewels Plate and Houshold Furniture to the best advantage and to turn off all my Servants but just those to attend my person but to reward all of them with something more than their wages and those Servants that are old and have spent their youth with my Lords Predecessors and in his service but especially those he favoured most give them so much during their lives as may keep them from the miseries of necessity and vexations of poverty Thirdly I would have you hire the best and curioust Carvers or Cutters of Stones to make a Tomb after my direction as First I will have a marble piece raised from the ground about half a mans height or somthing more and somthing longer than my Husbands dead body and then my Husbands Image Carved out of Marble to be laid thereupon his Image to be Carved with his Armor on and half a Head-piece on the Head that the face might be seen which face I would have to the life as much as Art can make it also let there be two Statues one for Mercury and another for Pallas these two Statues to stand at his head and the hands of these Statues to join and to be laid under as carrying the head of my Husbands figure or as the head lay thereupon and their hands as his Pillow on the right side of his figure let there be a Statue for Mars and the hand of Mars's Statue holding the right hand of my Husbands figure and on the left hand a Statue for Hymen the hand on the place of the heart of my Husbands figure and at the feet of the figure let there be placed a Statue for Fortune also about a yard distance from the Tomb at the four Corners thereof let there be four Marble Pillars raised of an indifferent height and an Arched Marble Cover thereupon and let all the ground be paved underneath with Marble and in the midst on the outside of the marble roof let the Statute of Fame be placed in a flying posture and as blowing a Trumpet then some two yards distance square from those Pillars let the ground be paved also with Marble and at the four Corners four other Marble Pillars raised as high as the former with Capitals at top and the body of those Pillars round and the Statues of the four Cardinal Virtues placed on those Capitals sitting as in a weeping posture and at the feet of those Pillars the Statues of the Graces imbracing each Pillar as the Statue of Charity the Pillar whereon the Statue of Justice sits and the Statue of Patience the Pillar of Temperance and the Statute of Hope the Pillar of Prudence and the Statue of Faith the Pillar of Fortitude then set a grove of Trees all about the out-side of them as Lawrel Mirtle Cipress and Olive for in Death is Peace in which Trees the Birds may sit and sing his Elegy this Tomb placed in the midst of a piece of ground of some ten or twenty Acres which I would have incompassed about with a Wall of Brick of a reasonable height on the inside of the Wall at one end I would have built a little house divided into three Rooms as a Gallery a Bed-chamber and a Closet on the outside of the Wall a House for some necessary Servants to live in to dress my meat and to be ready at my call which will be but seldome and that by the ring of a Bell but the three Rooms I would have furnished after this manner my Chamber and the Bed therein to be hung with white to signify the Purity of Chastity wherein is no Colours made by false lights the Gallery with several Colours intermixt to signify the varieties changes and incombrances of life my Closet to be hung with black to signify the darkness of Death wherein all things are forgotten and buried in Oblivion thus will I live a signification not as a real substance but as a shaddow made betwixt life and death from this House which shall be my living Tomb to the Tomb of my dead Husband I would have a Cloyster built through which I may walk freely to my Husbands Tomb from the injuries of the weather and this Cloyster I would have all the sides thereof hung with my Husbands Pictures drawn to the life by the best Painters and all the several accidents studies and exercise of his life thus will I have the story of his life drawn to the life see this my desire speedily carefully and punctually done and I shall reward your service as a carefull and diligent Steward and Servant Steward It shall be done but why will not your Ladyship have my Lords figure cast in Brass Madam Iantil. Because the Wars ruin Tombs before Time doth and metals being usefull therein are often taken away by necessity and we seldome find any ancient Monuments but what are made of Stone for covetousness is apt to rob Monuments of metal committing Sacrileges on the dead for metals are soonest melted into profit but Stone is dull and heavy creeping slowly bringing but a cold advantage wherein lies more pains than gains Steward But your Ladyship may do all this without selling your Jewels Plate and Houshold Furniture Madam Iantil. It is true but I would not let so much wealth ly dead in Vanity when exchanging them for money I can imploy it to some good use Steward Your Ladyship hath forgotten to give order for blacks Madam Iantil. No I have not but I will give no mourning untill my Husbands body be carried to the Tomb wherefore I have nothing more to imploy you in at this time but only to send hither my Chaplain Doctor Educature The Steward goes out Enter Doctor Educature Madam Iantil. Doctor although it is not the profession of a Divine to be an Historian yet you knowing my Husbands life and natural disposition best being in his Childhood under you Tutorage and one of his Family ever since I know none so proper for that work as you and though you are
Gentlemen Doll Pascify Gentlemen would you speak with me Monsieur la Gravity Yes for we desire you will help us to the honour of kissing your Ladyes hands thereon to offer our service Doll Pacify Sir you must excuse me for the Sign of VVidowhood is not as yet hung out Mourning is not on nor the scutcheons are not hung over the Gate but if you please to come two or three dayes hence I may do you some service but now it will be to no purpose to tell my Lady for I am sure she will receive no visits Exeunt FINIS THE ACTORS NAMES The Lord General and many Commanders Monsieur la Gravity Monsieur le Compagnion Monsieur Comerade Doctor Educature Doctor Comfort and divers Gentlemen Messengers Servants Officers and others Lady Victoria and many Heroicks Lady Jantils Lady Passionate Doll Pacify Nell Careless City Wives and others THE SECOND PART OF BELL IN CAMPO ACT I. Scene 1. Enter Doctor Comfort and Doll Pacify DOll Pacify Good Master Priest go comfort my old Lady Doctor Comfort If you will Comfort me I will strive to Comfort her Doll Pacify So we shall prove the Crums of Comfort Doctor Comfort But is my Lady so sad still Doll Pacify Faith to day she hath been better than I have seen her for she was so patient as to give order for Blacks but I commend the young Lady Madam Iantil who bears out the Siege of Sorrow most Couragiously and on my Conscience I believe will beat grief from the fort of her heart and become victorious over her misfortunes Doctor Comfort Youth is a good Souldier in the Warfare of Life and like a valiant Cornet or Ensign keeps the Colours up and the Flag flying in despite of the Enemies and were our Lady as young as Madam Iantil she would grieve less but to lose an old Friend after the loss of a young Beauty is a double nay a trible affliction because there is little or no hopes to get another good Husband for though an old woman may get a Husband yet ten thousand to one but he will prove an Enemy or a Devill Doll Pacify It were better for my Lady if she would marry again that her Husband should prove a Devill than a Mortal Enemy for you can free her from the one though not from the other for at your words the great Devil will avoid or vanish and you can bind the lesser Devils in Chains and whip them with holy Rods untill they rore again Doctor Comfort Nay we are strong enough for the Devil at all times and in all places neither can he deceive us in any shape unless it be in the shape of a young Beauty and then I confess he overcomes us and torments our hearts in the fire of love beyond all expression Doll Pacify If I were a Devil I would be sure to take a most beautifull shape to torment you but my Lady will torment me if I stay any longer here Exeunt Scene 2. Enter two Gentlemen 1 GEnt. Sir you being newly come from the Army pray what news 2 Gent. I suppose you have heard how our Army was forced to fight by the Enemies provocations hearing the Lord General lay sick whereupon the Generals Lady the Lady Victoria caused her Amazonians to march towards the Masculine Army and to entrench some half a mile distance therefrom which when the Masculine Army heard thereof they were very much troubled thereat and sent a command for them to retreat back fearing they might be a disturbance so a destruction unto them by doing some untimely or unnecessary action but the Female Army returned the Masculine Army an Answer that they would not retreat unless they were beaten back which they did believe the Masculine Sex would not having more honour than to fight with the Female Sex but if the men were so base they were resolved to stand upon their own defence but if they would let them alone they would promise them upon the honour of their words not to advance any nearer unto the Masculine Army as long as the Masculine Army could assault their Enemies or defend themselves and in this posture I left them Exeunt Scene 3. Enter the Lady Victoria and her Heroickesses LAdy Victoria Noble Heroickesses I have intelligence that the Army of Reformations begins to flag wherefore now or never is the time to prove the courage of our Sex to get liberty and freedome from the Female Slavery and to make our selves equal with men for shall Men only sit in Honours chair and Women stand as waiters by shall only Men in Triumphant Chariots ride and Women run as Captives by shall only men be Conquerors and women Slaves shall only men live by Fame and women dy in Oblivion no no gallant Heroicks raise your Spirits to a noble pitch to a deaticall height to get an everlasting Renown and infinite praises by honourable but unusual actions for honourable Fame is not got only by contemplating thoughts which lie lasily in the Womb of the Mind and prove Abortive if not brought forth in living deeds but worthy Heroickesses at this time Fortune desires to be the Midwife and if the Gods and Goddesses did not intend to favour our proceedings with a safe deliverance they would not have offered us so fair and fit an opportunity to be the Mothers of glorious Actions and everlasting Fame which if you be so unnatural to strangle in the Birth by fearfull Cowardize may you be blasted with Infamy which is worse than to dye and be forgotten may you be whipt with the torturing tongues of our own Sex we left behind us and may you be scorned and neglected by the Masculine Sex whilst other women are preferred and beloved and may you walk unregarded untill you become a Plague to your selves but if you Arm with Courage and fight valiantly may men bow down and worship you birds taught to sing your praises Kings offer up their Crowns unto you and honour inthrone you in a mighty power May time and destiny attend your will Fame be your scribe to write your actions still And may the Gods each act with praises fill All the women Fear us not fear us not we dare and will follow you wheresoever and to what you dare or will lead us be it through the jawes of Death THE PRAYER Lady Victoria GReat Mars thou God of War grant that our Squadrons may like unbroaken Clouds move with intire Bodyes let Courage be the wind to drive us on and let our thick swell'd Army darken their Sun of hope with black despair let us powre down showers of their blood to quench the firy flames of our revenge And where those showers fall their Deaths as seeds Sown in times memory sprout up our deeds And may our Acts Triumphant gat lands make Which Fame may wear for our Heroicks sake Exeunt Scene 4. Enter Doctor Comfort and Doll Pacify DOctor Comfort Doll how doth our Lady since the burying of my Patron Doll Pacify