THE SPIGHTFUL SISTER A New Comedy Written by Abraham Bailey of Lincolns-Inn Gent. Licensed April 10. 1667 Roger L'Estrange LONDON Printed for Thomas Dring the Younger at the White Lion next Chancery-Lane in Fleet-Street 1667. To the Reader EPistles and Prologues being for the most part skipt over without reading I had thought to have silenc'd my Pen as to either of them both had not the importunity of the Stationer who was unwilling to have a blank page but that the Buyer might have enough for his money prevailed with me so far as to give thee this short account of it That as it is a Play so I made the writing thereof onely my Recreation not my Study done in few hours and youthful years that may rightly consider'd excuse the Faults therein which if I am not partial are not great nor many onely these few committed by the negligence or oversight of the Printer I must desire thee either gently to pass over or else with thy Pen to correct PAge 3. line 20. the comma at weary and for steps read sleeps p. 4. l. 19. for warrant 1. torrent l. 31. for a fable r. affable p. 5 l 2. for surprize r. suppress l 27. for come r. can p. 7. l 31 for time r. line p. 12. l. 32 r. Kidnappers p. 14. l. 6. r. expostulate p. 16. l. 15. r. what p 18. l. 31 r. sollicited p. 26. l. 17. r. favour p 35. l 17. r. Occus p. 47. l. 12. r. Beucer p. 62. l. 23. r. you The Persons Names Occus An old Humerous Lord. Beucer His Clerk Hare A Debtor to Occus Litus A Suitor to Berania Harpes Litus his Ruffion Petus A young Lord afterwards Berania's Sweet-Heart Lidorus A Lord Friend to Petus Marus Petus's Father Lonus Litus's Father Admetus A Virginia Tobacconist King Chancellour Clowns Watchmen Constables Gods Goddesses Nymphs Servants Murtherers Berania Daughter to Occus Losana The Spightful Sister to Berania Thele Waiting-Maid to Losana Hacca Waiting-Maid to Berania Sarah An old Sweet-Heart to Beucer Winifred Sarahs Humerous Mother Books Printed for Thomas Dring Junior at the White Lion in Fleet-Street where you may be furnisht with most sorts of Playes A General History of the Caribby Islands being an exact Description of all the English Plantations c. in the West-Indies adorn'd with Sculptures Folio Direction for the Study of the Law 12o. Cupid's Courtship 8o. THE SPIGHTFUL SISTER Actus Primus Scena Prima Enter Occus Smoaking and Beucer Oc. I Say It is not so good to be cheated as to Cheat So I do Beu Do's he mean honestly Oc. Hang honesty he has put me to I-know-not-how-much trouble I vow so I do A-Deuce take him for a knave Beu Patience Sir he did not intend Oc. Intend a fool I protest so I do I don't know what to do I 'm so vext about it Enter Hare Beu He comes Oc. How de y' Sir Wel what say you de y' mark I protest So I do you had almost hindred me of seeing You so you had if you had not come as you Did Will you pay-in the Money and have your Bond Hare My fortunes bow to you Oc. I can't abide this elegant Fortune Not I My mony My mony Man Hare Let my Condition plead for me Oc. That won't the condition of the Bond is to pay it Double de se double I vow Hare Your Honour 's Merciful Oc. Merciful me no more than I Merciful you For I vow de se get it me quickly or I l'e Know why you won't so I will as I live-law Exit Hare Go bid Berania come to me do so Exit Beucer Enter Berania and Hacca Well how now Berania what say you to me about Litus I protest I believe he looks like a rich Man Ber. More tortures yet The harmless dove pursu'd By threatning death from the Jar-falcons Talons Avoyds that cruel touch and lives secure My duty checks too great a scorn but Love Can utter stranger to his qualities Free me from Inquisitions worse then Death Oc. Well then you won't ha' him I l'e tell him the Long and the short of the business so I will Exit Ber. 'T is strange to see wealths power more then the strength Of Vertue stack't by Craesus his false fame Mony 's Lord Paramount and Riches sway My Fathers fancy for a prudent Soul Content's a Paradice as unknown to most As are the furthest Limits of Euphrates Every Sense turns Secretary to record His or my own hard Fortune yielding's fatal I have set my Resolution and I 'le see Myself Incloystred e're his wife I l'e bee Enter Occus Litus two Foot-boys Lit. Well how stands the wind of your Daughter 's Good liking Oc. Why I protest-law it was so sharp North so 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 that it had like to ha blown my Nose Away I vow so soon as I mentioned you to her Law-ye Litus Be plain Oc. Why the Long and the short is de se she say's she Won't have you I am in haste I vow good b'y Exit Li. To Fortune's Jiggs the vulgar sort apply An arm'd resistance whose weak affronts Dare not consult with Passion unless It sings their requies sum To love Is to be resolute our wealth 's a blessing To be contemn'd by none but those whose thoughts Fly to a Pin-feather'd Philosophy And use a Microscope mounted on wings Of rare devotion to see if the World be any thing My blood thaw's silence at a womans scorn Stay till I come Exit 1. Foot-Boy My Lord will have her sure if Means can do it 2. Foot-Boy He 's too well known to be belov'd by her 1. Foot-Boy In his land her denial may walk so far Tell it 's weary steps and forget itself 2. Foot-Boy I don't know what they 'l do Enter Litus Li. Go deliver this Letter to Madam Berania Exeunt Fool-Boys The labour of a strict persute Is recompenc't by handling the Prize Delay like Poppy invites to a sleep That cutting news should be the hardlier felt Provide a bow for smiles but if disdain I 'le get by Force what fair Means can't obtain Exit Enter Berania Reading the Letter Ber. Your syllables make worse than banishment throws it to them More captive to impiety then the unwearied Passenger Toth ' fained mourning of a Crocodile Whose jaws while reeking in the bloud of those His last allurements sung sad Dirge's to Seeks larger Preys Enter Losana Lo. May duty teach my Sister Ber. What Lo. A Nobler lesson than Rebellion prompts to Recant your error so your Reason may A Prospect of all happiness seem clear As day whose Minut◠are seldom favour'd by Such smiles of Chance as those were proffer'd you Resolve amendment to your changed mind The Golden Sands of Factolus come flowing Imbrace Honour Ber. How Lo. By nourishing the hopes of Litus whose soul As sad as Niobe's takes pleasure In throwing down the Gems that dwel in it His Birth ne'r taught him Courtship for a Maid Below it self Ber. His rashness
like a Warrant Seconds his malice to these I am an Enemy Had he no more blasts of Morality Lo. To call him rash is Passionate Passionate witty An ornament to Youth Ber. Malicious too Lo. Hatred's a Puritan compair'd and frowns To see you learn your lesson but by halves Too openly bore down his friends at this Would keep the Scent and were you a Man Turn bloud-hounds ore-turn weapons ' til revenge Had gi'n the Lye to all that dare maintain Him otherwise then a Fable he sighs Meekly for you Ber. He 's worse then Savage that to get his will Won't Fawn and Flatter but denyed still His expectation suddenly converts His faigned Love to hatred and imparts Envy to Force till with his wile he gets His own desire by ' Proteus Changing fits Lo. All fancies Suppositions worse his wealth It 's so weighty 't would quickly surprize The swelling of a crook-back't quality Nobles are a Pumice hard enough to grinde His errors into nothing Ber. Rich and Noble Be coverlids of vices wrong 't is pitty Who 's greatest fit to govern he 's not fit To govern others that cannot rule himself They should grow big together Pliny never Mockt Physick better He comes I 'le not see him Exit Berania Enter Litus Li. To paint out to my self the warlick Trophies Due to a Conqueror of all that 's bad And strong the stoln hours Of Leander and Hero when the Hellespont Was but a Kennel to him argues their joys Pigmies Fiction short of truth my Sense Has made no Plaudit ' til your Sister Seem'd checking my hasty courtship with a brow Clear of Anger Lo. A pleasant Landskip Li. False Lo. A Dream may be Li. Worse Lo. My Industry may embalm your hopes Exit Li. I come senseless here with equal passion Heaven or hell mop't to a Bul-begger I Tantalize my self such a dul Agent Deserves to see a foollish Messenger Bring back his Letters covered wich the mocks Of a Chamber-maid Harpes true Harpes come Why stay'st so long ' Its past the time you promist Enter Harpes Harpes An 't I within my time my Lord Litus No less Then Ten pound for an hours work what say'st Harpes Propose Litus Trusty ha'st forgot that Vertue Harpes My Bonus Genius I am ne'r without it Litus Canst ' Fight Harpes No matter I can murder may be without it Litus Pish you are wide o' th' mark We are about Venial sins Harpes Nay that 's the mark I 'de aim at Litus A Lady I 'de ha'you and I steal from her Father Every night they walk at six a clock here Her Fatherâ—s an old fool can't fight Be ready But if we are caught canst swear Harpes If I can't swear I can doe nothing Litus Get a Coach ready at six a clock precisely Then meet me here Harpes I will Sir Exeunt Enter Lord Lidorus Lord Petus attended Lid. What Friar grac't his Order by a Miracle In Spelling you to a Platonick love Pet. Resolves after Deliberation make A Circle in whose Center the best life Lyes hid on puny spirits such as boast They have the Summum Bonum when they tread In an old Mark made by their Mistris Shoo I 'le bestow pitty Lid. To receiv't agen When tired with burdens of a way to Honour Your Motion 's quick your Hands gripe labour Mind Resolute to advancement purchast by A weary diligence a Ladies lap Inchants your purpose to a solitude That into sleep sleep to a dream whose language Courts you to sweetness inconceiveable As Considerations of Eternity A Thousand presidents bewail lost time in your condition Pet. He 's well can beware of others Harms Example don't excuse a Fault Love-sick's a great one Lid. Hold a line of this subject Pet. Let 's hear it Lidorus sings O Sacred Sacred Love earths chiefest joys above That with thy nimble bow take'st pride to stick below Thrice happy he whose Heart hath felt the quiver of thy Golden belt 2. When Moping spirits Muse what pleasure here to chuse Then Love's great shrine draws nigh with enterprizes high To sway Mens hearts and wrap them Eeven to joyes divine a taste of Heaven Pet. Parturiunt Montes To our business Letters Inform me of the neer approach of Death toth ' Reverend Old Man already 'tas took up all but his breath-room Those Industrious hands that have so often acted his words When they moved Audients passions to Love To Hate to Mirth to Tragedy Have now nothing to do but second fervent Prayers for you and I. Lid. I 'me promised news to day Pet. I expect some too Lid. At six a clock let 's meet here We 'll impart the Novelty of each stop And drown the time with tears that speaks him dead Pet. 'T may fall out not so Starrs and the bâ—st of Men Do rise to set and set to rise agen Exeunt Enter Occus Losana Thele Berania Hacca Hare and Beucer Oc. Well how now Mr. Hare well de se I don't know I vow Oh will you pay in the Money law-ye And have the Bond Hare You let others have it upon that condition I told you of my Lord. Oc. Sir I doe and I do not Hare How do you then Oc. Very well but that 's nothing my Money Man Hare I 'le provide it Exit Hare Oc. Good-buy come Daughters it 's almost time to walk As I live so it is i' th' Garden so I doe Ber. Will you bear us company Los My hours an 't my own Oc. Well Beucer you se so do you that this Hare Won't pay-in the Mony so he won't I Vow now de se you may go if you will I don't Need your Witnes-manship Exit Beucer Come Daughter I 'l walk presently as I live law-ye And tell you you are a Fool so I will I vow for not Marrying the Gentle-man Exeunt Enter Harpes and Lâ—tus with a Beard Lit. I shan't be known well Harpes art ' resolved Harpes My horse needs nothing but a Silver spur To hasten it on in such an Ambuscado Lit. She 's leight my Boy we 'll carry her with ease Harpes Leight All the sex are so Shee has been too leight For you already you may speak Probatum Lit. Stand in that corner you but firâ—t provide A Sword to fright the old Man the young one 's got The sooner Exit Harpes Honour 's not repaid with Checks If her estate be it bladder's her Pride I excell it if her birth excell that too These things well weighed my brest 's too generous To be submissive and at a Woman's scorn Turn Novice Enter Harpes with a Sword Harpes A cold Iron Litus Hot enough to make him run as Firebrands do The Beasts of Greenland within that place I 'm here Let 'um walk a turn or two we may Take 'um at the more advantage Harpes Coach waits Aside both Enter Occus Berania and Hacca Berania Are you ready Sir Occus I 'm ready to blow my fingers they 'r so cold I vow So I am Step i' th
where the offence is done against the will Chancellor It was my Liege he did not love to kill King Why fought he then Chancellor To vindicate his right King That 's got by Law and not by single might Chancellor 'T was Sir so sudden done forc'd by a plot That strength must needs decide what Law could not King The Fathers service and the Sons deport One in our Wars the tother in our Court Tho against my Law command me to asswage For once the penance of my Statutes rage But take notice lest it should authorize Others like manner precepts to despise Renew its force and hence will hardly I Give him his life that makes another dye Both. Your pardon But let it teach better things Exeunt Litus and Losana in the Gallery Litus I knew it would not take Lidorus is dead Losana I wish it had been Petus Litus Wishes nothing avail our treason 's divulg'd and If we are caught we shall soundly suffer Losana My disgrace is so great I dare not return But since 't is so I 'll alter our design And have his life or it shall cost me mine Exeunt Enter Petus in a Night-gown and Berania Petus A pardon it were better that I were Condemn'd to death by the most cruel torture To live is onely to be knawed upon And suffer lingrings which subtly beguile Me of my rest One blow consumes them all But on my life depends a dearer and If I were dead she 'd be expos'd to th' rage Of bloudy butcheries I 'll be reveng'd Dear Lidorus how shall I pacifie Thy angry Ghost I kill'd thee and were serv'd But just if thy deathy fingers should Pull out my timorous heart Berania You see my Lord The fruits of too rash anger Petus Would I had Dear Madam so sudden a Burial let me Sacrifice my life to asswage this fault In doubting of your chastity Draw's his sword Berania Hold my Lord I shall dye to see you thus 'T was foul but now it 's over Petus Oh that I could come at this demons urchin Litus appears i' th' Gallery I 'd break the charms of Belzebub and bite The sulphry links that keep her all the flashes Of brimstone should but heat my purposes Till with her blood I had made a deadly poyson Should kill all that but speak or think upon her Where art Air cover her not she will infect thee Ground swallow her up or throw her to me that I May rid the world of lust and treachery Exit Enter Litus and Losana Losana You see how things fall out Litus It is reported You are sled Petus beside himself Studies to make a sad example of you Losana Are you against me too Litus Not I I wish I could but see the colour of his heart-blood Till then I shant be quiet nor you peel off Perpetual shame Losana Does he tear at me thus Litus I heard him in the Gallery Losana Enough I 'll do his business stay here I have provided Exit Litus walks about Litus I wish I had ne'er begun this I am vext I dream of Blood and War in my condition Distraction banquets I have entred on it And will go on Enter Losana But this one way to save our lives go up Exit Litus Enter three men Losana Here here come hither They whisper All. We attend your will Losana There 's one has done me a great deal of wrong Weeps 'T will do no good to name it if you will Undertake to murder him you shall Be satisfied largely First No fear Madam we can do it Second I and we will do it Third Where 's the man Los Stand in that corner within a little while he comes to you Gentlemen be sure you kill him I can't describe him by his clothes but there none comes in a whole year dispatch him quickly First We 'll use swords to 't Second Best we have them ready Third Surest and safest these All draw will give him a meal he shall never disgest I 'll warrant you Losana Go and don 't fail to kill the first that comes Exit All. We will faith All stand aside Enter Losana with a Boy Losana Go to Lord Petus and tell him you saw Losana go down that lane just now do your arrand well and here 's for you then out by my Chamber Boy I will Exit Losana Boy meets Petus Boy I was a coming to you my Lord. Petus For what Boy I heard you inquire for Madan Losana And I see her go down that lane just now Petus Good Boy Exit Boy Now pitty be gone He goes apace draws his sword Four Clowns overtake him with clubs and surprize him taking him for Litus First Ha ha now we ha' you nay go to your Father Petus What mean you Gentlemen Second Gentleman us no more then we Gentleman you for I'faith you shall go He strives Third Hold fast there you are an undutiful son indeed we'll Litus you I'faith Fourth So I thought we should catch you at last Petus Stand off you rustick Bores He strives again All. Hold him fast if we let him go we shall all be hang'd Second Get you home we have searched the woods for you to some purpose Petus How dare you Villains First Uds waukers we 'll cudgel you so we will for all you 're a Lord. Fourth There 's a good one shall we please your father or you Third Swinge him swinge him agood if he won't go the King man set us a work to look you and gave us leave Petus Was ever Noble scratch'd with dogs before Strives again All. In with him in with him to his father come along good my Lord Litus come along or we 'll make you with a murrin All pull him in Fourth It must be Litus man and nobody else Exeunt all Litus and Losana in the Gallery Losana Now Sir from an abyss of discontent Three thrusts have built us up security Peace over all those mists that interpos'd Between Berania and you are vanish'd Petus is dead the Boy came to my Chamber And see him run to eternal banishment Them three dispatcht him ere one cry could come Toth ' ears of any living Court your Mistriss But make devotion to me I invented His death and your felicity Litus Rare Madam Seeing there 's no lets to my preferment I 'll Adore your memory and gratifie With forty Duckets them that laid him dead Come along Madam I 'll see how they sped Losana They could not finde resistance from him Litus ha Litus I 'm ravish'd with these Musical words I 'll see how they did their business and Content 'um for it Losana Well enough I warrant you Litus goes to the stage and to the Thieves Thieves set on him follow him out and fight Litus Hold I am not the man All. He is dispatcht They kill him and stop his mouth with an Hankerchaer Exeunt Enter Petus Petus Take me for Litus Oh I fear she 's gone He sees the body Ho ho Watch
Garden and walk Enter Lidorus Lidorus Haste Petus to his Elegy Enter Boy Boy My Lord Lord Petus stayes to speak with you Lidorus Bid him come in and bring hither a Table Exit Boy Enter Petus Boy sets down the Table exit Lidorus He 's gone those Ensigns of Honour Your proper due Succession ushers in Petus His Monuments Lidorus Rich with the power of a holy Relique Read it Go to the Table Throws it upon the Table Harpes and Litus set on Berania Berania Help help Lidorus Hark the cry of some distrest Gentlewoman Petus At the sight of a Frog Berania cryes out again Lidorus Hark hark in earnest let 's run They run and see her between them Occus crying Lidorus Dishonourable Villains what Commission Litus Our fancy 's to your cost Petus We 'l try provide all fight Occus creeps under the table and peeps Litus runs Harpes falls down Enter Occus from under the Table Occus The Rogues pittiful unvalourful Dogs I was mad as I live-law to see what Cowards they were I vow To set on us as we were walking but I Wisht 'um hang'd in heat of blood as I 'm here So I did thank the Gentlemen Daughter that Have so finely delivered you Berania Gentlemen To your protectors I 'le be devout And beg for a reward due to your Vertue All the entreaties of a bended knee Shall guard my Sacrifice till courteous Heavens Know the deliverance of an innocent Maid Lidorus Confirm we have serv'd you by excepting it The Gods make apprehensions of a Traytor Confound himself his means all dy'd with horrour Speaks daggers to his guilty soul and saves His enemy a triall Berania My life payes tribute to your valour Petus If it be valour Madam we no way Can guess it's rising but from the bright day Of your own Beauties which great Nature throws And duty ties to the hearts of all those As profess honour Berania Humble thanks your licent to my departure Both. Your obliged Servants Occus Well Gentlemen I protest so I do this is a Great kindness and I vow I don't know how to Make you amends so I don 't but good by I would thank you a great deal longer as I Live-law de se but I vow I am a going home Exeunt Occus Bera Hacca Petus Do'st know this pretty Gentlewoman prithee Lidorus Why d' ye ask Petus Her Wit Beauties and Behaviour are excellent Lid. Surprized indeed Petus Be impartial to a Corrector Lid. Maintain it who are most secure From Love his torments soonest do endure Exit Petus What sudden passion like damp news of death Conjures my blood about my heart grown weak Because I can't expound a petty riddle Delivered her what then I 'le ne're believe I alwayes dream'd till now I ha' been Garlick Destructive to Love's adamantick vertue Her very posture how it presents it self Before my intellect as a true prologue To some future and stronger invasion Exit Enter Berania Hacca Hacca Prefer the memory of those Gentlemen Doubtless Madam they were some that knew you Ber. Not one thunderbolt to kill this monster Hacca Trouble findes ease when open'd Madam To my obedience here 's my life Your counsel Is further from my mouth than Mahometism Ber. He in the beard had the voice of Litus Hacca Monstrous villany Can so foul intents Lie i' th pavement of so smooth disguise The world 's deceitful who by fair words Credit performances just and honourable Finde one is empty the other void Perfidious Ber. I wish all been't so Hacca That all for one be blam'd Heavens forbid Though foul pretences under fair he hid Yet mischief gathers mischief and who thought Others to catch in his own net is caught Ber. Providence may pay him so Sigh Hacca Let my industry ease you of these sighs Your Sister 's with him often Ber. Innocence is preserv'd by Angels Sigh agen Hacca Be it criminal and take away my life To speak my Mistress Secrets tell me Madam What I ha' been I 'le ever be In life a trust to death fidelity Ber. Inquire the names of the two Gentlemen That rescu'd me describe the blackest most Hacca You love I will dear Madam when I ha' done He begs admittance to kiss your hand Ber. Hush here 's my Sisters Maid be intimate enquire Hacca What she knows is my own already Enter Thele Thele Madam your Sister prayes your company Ber. I 'le go my self Exit Hacca Do'nt Litus often wait upon your Mistress Thele I know nothing Hacca Yes shee 'd have her Sister marry him His treachery ha's burthen'd all mens ears Thele How Hacca worse than a Rape Thele Who told you Hacca I was by and see it my self Thele Since you know it no longer I 'le deny Her private malice his invet'racy Hacca Shall be no more the cause of discontents To expectation happen cross events Exeunt Actus Secundus Scena Prima Enter Admetus and Beucer Beucer IT 's all as I tell you Admetus Your Pilot taught you that trick Beucer I lost my silver Hatband aboard Admetus You thought she had been a prey conveighed thither By Cidnappers upon that built your hopes That Virginia would a nurst your Bastards Instead of writing your Masters Accounts Nothing was heard but pray give Mistress Sarah More Punch white Bisket Oyl to her Fish her mother Will oyl your Fish Beucer By this hand I 'de not love A Wench as well as thou for more money Than you got by Annoque-Tobacco last year Admetus You love smoak too 't is a sign or else You 'd ne're a crept i' th' Stow. Beucer But say Wilt marry her I 'le adde to the Summe Admetus Marry I may do so Beucer You may Admetus I don't love Flie-blows tho farewell Exit Beucer It 's easie to do that with one finger Can't be remedied my business don't fadge Enter Thele Thele Did you see Hacca Beucer Not I. Thele How long ha' you been here Beucer Mum. Thele Pray tell me Sir Beucer Thele The man 's in a maze sure Exit Beucer I 'me in a maze sure enough with your face That sure is a Screech-owl to my advancement I wish I had a Wife to spoil this ugly business This Gentlewoman's better my conscience Is i' th' Spanish mode I 'le see to get her Her name 's Thele my Schoolmaster I remember S'ed the Beast Hyena had that in her Would be witch a man to love I think This Maid ha's some Hyena in her too I have a Book at home s'es Marriage is Angol Honourable but it is good to be honourable I 'le take another course use this no more It 's better love a Wife than keep a Whore Exit Enter Petus Petus Imperial Madam Could no lucky merit Resist the charm of an insulting passion A foe as just as cruel resents affronts With rage impetuous beyond proud Tarquin I 'le do more penance than a Gally-Slave That spurns his thraldom with laborious strokes Eager to anticipate