A MERRIE AND Pleasant Comedy Never before Printed called A Shoo-maker a Gentleman As it hath beene sundry Times Acted at the Red Bull and other Theaters with a generall and good Applause Written by W. R. Gentleman LONDON Printed by I. Okes and are to be sold by Iohn Cowper at his Shop at the East-end of St. Pauls Church at the Signe of the Holy Lambe 1638 The Printer to the honest and High-spirited Gentlemen of the never decaying Art called the Gentle Craft NOne but to you as whom of right it doth concerne I thought good to present this Play which though written many yeares since ought not therefore to be slighted I confesse we have better for Language in these our exquisite and refined Times yet for the matter and Subject none of a more delightfull and pleasant Style for it is well knowne to you Gentlemen Cordwiners that every yeare you doe celebrate the Feast of Crispine Crispianus not in a meane and ordinary way but with a great deale of Ceremony keeping it as an Holy-day feasting and entertaining your friends and neighbours And likewise it hath bin so well approoved by you in the acting of it upon the Stage and that with your loud alarums I meane your clapping of hands that I could not chuse but commend it to you now in Print for it is a Play that is often Acted and when others fade and are out of date yet this doth endure tò the Last I know it may come short of that accuratenes both in plot and style that this witty age doth with greater curiosity acquire I may thus excuse that as Plaies were then some twenty yeares agone it was in the fashion Nor could it have found a fitter or more seasonable publication than at this time when the glory of our Nation is so much admired and the valour of our English so much esteemd that it is sought for by forraigne Natives as you may reade in this Subject we have in hand but I leave it to your perusall and imitation and returne to you my brave spirited Gentlemen Shoo-makers upon whom for whose sakes I have published it wishing you all that have their courages and forwardnes their noble Fates and Fortunes So hoping you will goe through stich I leave thee to Fare well The Actors Names Allured King of Brittaine Elred and Offa this Kings two sounes borrowing the Names of Crispine and Crispianus Sir Hugh a Prince of Wales and a Sutor to Winifred Amphiabel a Nobleman Maximinus and Dioclesian the Emperours of Rome Nobleman and Warriers Bassianus Lutius Rutullus Roderick King of Vandals Huldricke King of Goths Enemies to the Emperour A Nuntius from the Emperor Dioclesian A Roman Captaine Souldiers and other Attendants Three Countrey-men A Shoomaker Barnaby and Raph his Journy-men A Queene Wife to King Allured and Mother to Crispine and Crispianus Winifred a Virgin of Wales Leodice Daughter to the Emperour Maximinus A Nurse who attends her Sisley the Shoomakers Wife A Shoo-maker A Gentleman Act. 1. Enter Allured wounded Elred Offa and the Queene Alarum King AWay stand off prop not a falling Castle with Your weake strength t is sinfull Charity and Desperate folly to meet a mischiefe whose Entertainment is assur'd destruction leave me I pray savegard your owne lives Queen Oh Royall Sir t is you that doe dispaire Wounds are not alwaies mortall Ellred Deare sir let them be drest King You tire me out of breath with vaine delaies as well May you give life unto a stone a sencelesse statue My life 's but lent to bid you shun your deaths and in that too Heavens mercy is miraculous yet you will not heare me Agen I charge you as a King yet none regards Declining Majesty then as a husband and a Father here Dost thou love me Quee. Approve it in my death if thou mistrust it Allured King Have you duty you Phaenix of my age for though Two persons be distinguishable yet ought there be but one Combined heart in your fraternall union your knees promise Both Our duties are much lower King Then here I charge yee for to leave the Field Fly from death hee 's now in persuite of yee Fly from the Tyrant for this unhappy day Those bloody Persecutors Maximinus and Dioclesian Display their by neckt Eagle over Brittaine While she lyes under as a bleeding prey One Talent here is fastned Enter Amphiabell and Sir Hugh Hugh Fly Noble Princes wee have stood out the utmost Of the day till hope had lost his anchorage Therefore fly and seeke some other day for victory Amphi. How fares the King Al. Ene one the Virge of Blisse O deare Amphiabell Noble Sir Hugh what more could I have wisht then breath To thanke your kind assistance in this haplesse day Oh take an equall jonyter with my Sonnes from this cold Oracle All I bequeath is Counsell for your safety fly the slaughter For dying men are halfe Propheticall if you abide A longer stay you fall oh doe not make me guilty of your deaths That drew you hither to expire your breaths this path I Progresse but avoyde my way you neede not haste To an assured danger Farewell my love my blessing here Shall fall performe my will else Fate avert it all Thou canst not boast grim death I did not yeeld Nor fell by Agues but like a King i th' field Quee. Aye me distressed Queene Amphi. Your griefe 's incurable remember the will of your dead Lord And be a good Executrix fly from persuing danger And you Royall youths must seeke some shelter to secure Your lives away t is all our Fates Elr. I could better dye on him that slew my Father Offa. Take my company in that deare Brother Qu. So make a Mother prove unnaturall I will defend the foe Through this breast you passe unto him have yee forgot your Father El. No wee 'l reveng his death Quee. And kill your Mother first Hugh What thinke yee Princes that we left behind The smallest attome of a seeming hope when wee Forsooke the field you le not thinke so Elr. What 's your Counsell Am. Take on some course disguise what poverty i st But will be rich being your lives protection Offa. Instruct and ayde us some superior power Which dost behold our forc'd necessity Eld. Brother it shall be thus some poore Souldier slaine in the Battaile will we change habits with so it may be thought That wee are slaine and stay the bloody Inquisition Offa. T is well advis'd wee le not assay to mend it This effected Mother wee le come and take our leaves Eld. What for your selfe Madam Qu. Here will I stay untill my eyes like briny Pyoners With their continuall Cadence have digg'd up A woefull Sepulcher for these sweet Corps And if these sterrill Founts prove weake and dry Here will I kneele till death has cloyd his Gorge And left the putrifaction the mortall dampe Shall kisse me to his company for ever Am. Oh Madam these are but
I feare me there 's a shooe wrings her i' th instep of my yong Shooe-makers making such fellowes as hee cannot chuse but bee slippery companions for first they know the length of a Ladies foote and then they have such trickes to smooth her shooe and tickle her sole as I protest if I were a Shooe-maker my selfe it would make my teeth water what a sweete thing it is to have a round sweete plumpe delicate Calve of a Ladies legge lye roling on his thigh whilst he lies smoothing her fine silke stocking slippes his hand to her garters and sometimes higher birlady I have been serv'd so my selfe there 's many a Gallant I can tell you would give all the shooes in 's shoppe to have a shooe-makers office in a morning Well well I say nothing but I suspect something Pitty of me shee 's as broad behinde as I am and round enough before I doubt me he has made her a paire of short-heel'd shooes with a turne-over Come sweet Mouse have you given instructions to your Shooe-maker Why what a fellow art thou canst not finde a Last to fit her yet Leod. Yes Nurse he has fitted me now Nurse That 's well You must be carefull sirrah you must take true measure And fit her to a haire I charge you Cris. I warrant you Mistris Nurse Mistris gods me I am a Madam sir knave though I am a Nurse I can tell you Goe too learne your duty and you shall worke to me too when you have done with my Lady you shall take up my legge too Come sweet honey Exit Leod. Adea my comfort Cris. Even so my heart goes from me O what waves swim Lovers in of feares of hopes of cares Of discontents terrours and dispaires A thousand feares doe now my poore heart shake What medcine 's best Counsell and that I le take Enter Barnaby Raph and Hugh Bar. Come come an you be men make haste You 't is a hanging matter the Emperour and all the Prisoners Are gone by already Raph Stay stay here 's our fellow Crispin let 's take him with us Wilt thou goe along Crispin Cris. Whither should I goe prethee tell me What make you all at Canterbury Bar. Not to buy the Cat a Bell Crispin but to make loyter-pins For this day Boy we have made holy at Feversham Shut up shop throwne by our shooe-thred and wash't our faces And now my Master and Dame and all of us are come To see the Emperour and the Christians that must dye to day They say there 's a fine young Queene amongst them Prethee goe along with us Cris. In sadnesse I cannot Bar. In madnesse now I care not For our shooes are made of running lether And therefore wee 'le gallop no man knows whether Farewell Crispine shalt see my Dame come chasting this away anon 'Cause we ran away from her Come fellow Hugh Thou art so sad now I prethee be merry Exit Barnaby and Raph. Hugh I le follow straight although to meete my ruine The Princesse Winifred is doom'd to die And I in death will beare her company Exit Cris. Misery of times when Kings doe kill Not arm'd by Law to doe it but by will From these deepe woes that my poore Countrey beares Heaven save the Queene my Mother Fates are just And till the thred be spun none turne to dust Enter the Shoomakers Wife sweating Wife Fie fie fie Heaven for thy pittie how am I us'd to day Here be youths indeed to runne away and leave me in this order Doe I keepe one two three foure and five journey-men Besides Prentises uprising and downe-lying And doe they all bob me of this fashion How now art thou there Crispine that 's well Did you see your fellows Cris. Yes my good Dame they are all before you Wife Then I le have you before me too but not so farre as they are Fie fie see how I sweat with following them Come sir though they gave me the slip you 'le not serve me so I hope Goe before and man me Cris. O my good Dame Wife How now Crispine what 's the matter Boy Why are so many Chancery Bills drawne in your face Now where sits the winde that you blow so What ayl'st thou Cris. I have ever found you a kind loving Dame nay a good Mother Both to my selfe and my poore Brother Crispianus Wife Blesse him good Heaven upon what ground soe're he tread He was an honest fellow and a good servant And so he shall finde if e're he come From the warres agen Cris. Oh my good dame I to your eares must now unlocke A secret which if ere you blab abroad Wif. Never by my Holy dame Yet I have much adoe to keepe my owne secrets But I le keepe thine I le warrant thee Crisp. Nay looke dame my life and death lies on it Wif. Let what will lie on 't it shall nere be talkt of by me Crisp. I le thanke yee then This it is but you will say nothing Wif. Dost thinke I am a woman or a beast Cris. Nor be angry with me Wif. Here 's a doe indeede Thou hast not got a wench with child hast Cris. You have found my griefe Good dame indeed I have Wif. Out upon thee Villaine Cris. Nay good Dame Wif. Hence you Whore-master knave God 's my passion got a wench with childe Thou naughty packe thou hast undone thy selfe for ever Precious coales you are a fine youth indeed Can you cut out no shooes but of Ducks leather With a wanion has your Master so little doings Your tooles must be working abroad in a forrainers shop Cris. Sweete Dame you swore You would say nothing Wif. Nothing hang thee villaine I le cry it at the Market Crosse I'faith is your Aul so free for smocke-leather Crisp. Good Dame Wif. By these tenne fingers I le double thy yeares for 't Oh that I knew the Queane I 'de slit her nose And teare her eyes out of her head y'faith Enter Shooe-maker Shoo. How now what 's the matter that it thunders so Wif. Oh you are as good a Master too o' th to the side you looke to your Prentises well one of your men has beene at greene-goose faire but he shall pay for the sauce I le warrant him Shoo. What Faire what Sauce goody gander-goose Wif. Nay 't is no matter as he likes this let him dance the shaking of the sheetes another time Shoo. What sheetes dame Guiniver what dance I pray yee Wif. Marry uptailes all doe you smell me now Shoo. I smell an Asse head of your owne what 's all this troe Cris. Pardon me Sir Unlesse you stand my friend Alas I am but dead Wif. Dead hang yee Rascall hang yee you were quicke enough when you laid your Whore on her backe to take measure of her new shooes Would you thinke it Husband this young knave has got a wench with child Shoo. Hoyda and is this the shaking of the sheetes you talke of goodwife Snipper Snapper s'foote I like
freeze though we cannot get him from prison I le sell my coate from my backe ere a Shoomaker Shall want Let us shew our selves Cavaleeres Or Coblers come every man his twelvepence A peece to drinke with him in prison Shoo. A good motion boone boyes fine knaves I like you well when you hang together Hold my brave Journey-men There 's a double share for me Crisp. And mine with all my heart y'faith Wif. And cause he 's a Knight thou shalt have my shilling too Bar. I thanke you Dame Nay wee le never leave a brother of our Company as long as flesh and bones Will hang together Shoo. Away boyes goe you before Joane jumble breech your Dame and I will follow Cherish him up tell him he shall not want He lives not in the world could ever say A Shooe-maker from his friend did flinch away Exeunt Flourish Enter Maximinus Bassianus Lutius Officers Albon and Amphiabel in their shirts as from Torments Max. Resolve me yet you stubborne Christians Cannot the severall tortures which we doe inflict Yet melt the Iron of your hardned hearts To make you bow unto our Roman gods Speake will you obey our hest Amph. None but the hests of heaven Alb. A thousand deaths have not the bitter stings As are the paines we have felt in torturing Yet Tyrant wee 'le endure tenne thousand more And laugh in deaths face e're we our faiths give o're Max. Renowned Albon on thy head I le set A Crowne of gold Alb. To make me heaven forget Never Amph. Never Max. Let me yet winne thee foolish man Remember what honours we and Dioclesian Heapt upon thee giving thee the stile Brittaines Stewardship The Prince of Knights Lord of Varlome Alb. And in thy Rackes thy Irons Gibbets and thy Wheele Doe I more honour and more comfort feele Than all those painted smoakes by thee bestowed Of me my Countrey may thus much boast Albon Stood firme and fixt in spight of tyrants wrath Brittaines first Martyr for the Christian faith Max. But not the last For to thy scorne I le adde millions of Christian flames to death and tortures Lut. Dispatch these first Max. I will dragge them hence in Chaines to Helnurst Hill three miles from Verolome Where Albons Lord there after blowes And spightfull buffettings for honour of his Knight-hood once held the chiefe He shall have a Knight to be his Heads-man Alb. That stroake shall well be given That makes roome for a soule to flye to heaven Max. This fiend Amphiabel From whose damn'd Teate he suckt this poyson Shall there be bound by a fixed stake To which nail'd fast the Navell of his belly Being opened then with your sword prick him And force him runne about like a wheele Till he has spunne his Guts out and that dispatcht Saw off his traiterous head Amph. Caesar in greater triumph nere was led Max. Away with them Albon's the first shall dye Alb. Thou honour'st me amidst thy tyranny come on dear friend Amph, Eternity protect us to our end Fight nobly then Albon To my latest breath I goe to a wedding friend and not to death Max. Goe dragge 'em hence this day wee le Quaffe the blood of Christians call forth more So perish all will not our gods adore Enter Hugh Winifred and Shooe-makers Bar. Nay fellow Hugh or noble Sir Hugh remember 't is not every mans case to dye a Christian prethee leave it then and save thy life the Roman gods are as good gods as e're trode on a shooe of leather and therefore sweete Hugh wee may get their custome and bring 'em to our shoppe and so we shall be Shooe-makers to the gods Hugh You trouble me I pray leave Bar. Leave thee not as long as thou liv'st I'faith Max. What are all these Bar. Men that respect a Christian no more than you doe Sir you neede not feare there 's not a good Christian among us Max. Honest fellowes Backe and give the Prisoners roome Win. Come my constant friend Noble Sir Hugh at last farewell joyne hands We never shall touch one another more When these we sever thou long hast Lov'd me truer ne're was found That both in life and death keepes faith so sound All that my love can give thee for thy paines I le marry thee but death must bid the banes Never to wedding was such honour given Our weding dinner must be kept in heaven Hugh At which Angels shall waite Saints be our guests our soules the wedding couple And the feast joy and eternity our bridall roome The Hall of heaven where hand in hand wee le come Martyrs to dance a measure which beginnes Unto the musick of the Cherubins Max. Meane time even here you both shall dance with death Yet if our Gods you 'le serve prolong your breath Hugh 'T is life we seeke to loose Tyrant strike home They are but walls of clay which thou beast downe Max. Call a Hangman flea that Villaine straight and teare that womans Flesh with burning Pincers Win. We both are ready Sir Yet heare me Maximinus by all the Rites Of honour I conjure thee in Law of woman-hood Let not my body be a Villaines prey But since I am a Queene and spotlesse Virgin Let me chuse my death Max. Because thou once wert daughter to a King Injoy thy wish so death may forth with strike Meete him in any shape thou best shall like Win. Be sure it shall Be thou the chiefe mourner at my funerall My earthly love farewell thy cheeke I le kisse Wee 'le meete anon within the land of blisse Follow my footesteps thou shalt soone be there Courage good heart to dye I cannot feare I le be the first and teach thee how to dye Leading the way to sweete felicity Come Tyrants lanch my arme to death I le bleed Sweete blood was shed for me and mine I le sheede Max. Dispatch and lanch her arme but save the blood The which this day to holy Iupiter I le sacrifice Win. My dearest friend farewell In one house shortly wee 'le for ever dwell Hugh The storme of death now comes Beare up brave saile Win. I feele no storme but oven the merriest gaile That ever life was driven with Oh how sweet a Dreame me thinkes I now am in Angels doe runne to meete and welcome Me unto the Land of blisse Singing I have spunne a golden thred Hugh That thread of gold weave still Win. I doe farewell make haste to meete Dies Hugh In faith I will in a whole Campe of Martyrs blest Fate Shee 's gone for ever to an Angels state Max. Dispatch him and dragge her body hence Hugh 'T is sister to the Saints oh give it reverence Why doe I linger here my love being gone Bar. A right Shooe-maker he loves a woman Hugh Mercifull Tyrant set me on deaths wings That I may beare a part where my love sings Eternall Hymnes of joy blest love I come as soone As I can set forth out of this house of earth and