Wrinkle or any such thing And this I beg with all Humility and Devotion that I am able to do upon the Account and for the Sake of my ever Blessed Redeemer and Advocate concluding in that Heavenly Prayer He Himself hath taught me saying Our Father c. A Prayer for the Author or Reader O Lord assist me so with Thy Blessed Spirit that all that I have now Written or Read in this foregoing Work may always be fresh upon my Heart and Soul and grant me O God that at this time I may pour out my Soul unto Thee upon my bended Knees in such like Prayers and Supplications that may be prevalent with Thee my Heavenly Father to guard and defend me this Day from all manner of Sins and power of Temptations whatsoever More especially against all those Sins that do so easie beset me and meet me at every turn those Sins thou knowest O Heavenly Father are my familiar and prevailing Sins that now by the special Concurrence of thy Blessed Spirit I may be able to strike at the very root of them all and like David kill the Goliah Give me O Lord a true rectify'd Spirit Sanctify'd throughout to overcome all Infirmities and Corruptions of Human Nature And that I may betake my self sincerely to the great Business of the Salvation of my Soul And that with the Blessed Apostle I may run the Race that is set before me looking unto Christ Jesus the Author and Finisher of my Faith who for the Joy that was set before him endur'd the Cross despis'd the shame and now is set at the Right Hand of God daily to make Intercession for me For him O Heavenly Father hast thou highly exalted and given him a Name above all other Names that at the Name of Jesus every Knee should how both of things in Heaven and of things on Earth O sweet Jesu O blessed Jesu who can but bow to Thee and supplicate to Thee and pour out their Prayers and Tears to Thee that left the bosom of Thy Father and all the Adorations and Chorus's of Saints and Angels and came down from Heaven to suffer the cursed and ignominious Death of the Cross for my Sins to have thy tender Hands that were always doing of Good and healing Diseases and thy blessed Feet that always kept the steady Paths of Eternal Life now to be turn'd twisted extended distorted disjointed and Nail'd to the Cross to drink the Vinegar and Gaul of Thy Father's high Displeasure for my great and grievous Sins to have Thy most sacred Sides pierc'd and to gush out with Water and Blood To see Thee all over sweating and pouring down Streams of Blood from the Crown of Thy Head to the Foot of the Cross and to suffer all this for my great grievous hainous Sins and abominable Iniquities Nay further O Dear Jesu to see Thee endure and to lie under Thy Father's Wrath and the pressure of all these Agonies and Torments which made Thee bitterly to cry out My God my God Why hast thou forsaken â—e O Lord What shall I do Who is able to behold Thee longer Who can but love Thee and in loving Thee adore Thee with infinite unbounded and unmeasurable Love and desire earnestly to be Dissolved and to be with Thee But if it is Thy good Pleasure to spare me longer let the true Love and perfect sense of all this Love and Suffering of Thine my Dear Lord and Saviour help me to live up to that exact Pattern thou hast left me here of Meekness Lowliness Humility Charity Forgiveness Bowels of Pity and Compassion and that a perfect sense of Thy Crucifixion may always be fresh in my Heart and Soul that so it may beget in me a compleat hatred and dread of all Sins that in the whole Course of my remaining Life I may be preserved and defended from the like Sins that I run not the danger of Eternal Damnation And that the inexhaustible Bowels of Thy Mercy may take pity of me so that I Crucifie Thee not again but being delivered from all Iniquities by thy most mighty Power may with finishing my Course here be receiv'd into the open Arms of Thy Eternal Salvation And this I most heartily beg upon the bended Knees of my Soul for Thy sake only and upon the alone account of Thee my Dear Lord and Saviour and ever-blessed Redeemer and Advocate Amen and Amen A Death Bed Meditation I Owe to God a Death as his Son did for me Ever since I have been born I have been sailing to this Haven and gathering Patience to comfort me in this Hour therefore should I be one of those Guests that would not come to the Banquet when they were invited What hurt is there is going to Sleep In going to Paradise I shall lose nothing but the Sense of Evils and anon I shall have greater Joys than I feel Pains for my Head is in Heaven already to assure me my Soul and Body shall follow after O Death Where is thy Sting Why should I fear that which I would not escape because my chief Happiness is gone before and I cannot have it unless I go to it I would even go through Hell it self for Heaven and therefore if I march but through Death I suffer less than I would for God My Pains do not dismay me because I Travel to bring forth Eternal Life My Sins do not fright me because I have Christ my Redeemer there The Judge doth not astonish me because I have the Judges Son my Advocate The Devil amazes me not because the Angels pitch their Tents about me The Grave grieves me not because I know it was my Lord's Bed O that God's Mercy to me might move others to love him For the less I can express of it the more it is The Prophets and the Apostles are my Fore-runners every Man will go before or follow after If it please God to receive me into Heaven before them that serv'd him better what Thankfulness do I owe him and because I have deferr'd my Repentance till this Hour whereby my Salvation had been cut off had I dy'd suddenly How doth my God in his Infinite Mercy to prevent my Destruction call me by this lingring Sickness and prepares me for my End and makes me by wholsome Pains weary of this beloved World lest I should depart unwillingly like to those whose Death is their Damnation Thus he loves me while he beats me and his Stripes are Plaisters to cure my Sores therefore who shall love him if I displease him This is my whole Business now to strengthen my Body with my Heart and to be contented as God hath appointed until I can Glorify him or He me If I live I live to Sacrifice If I dye I dye to my Saviour for Christ my Saviour is Sacrificed for me and therefore should I fear Death I have not that Faith and Hope I have profess'd but I doubted of God's Truth in his Promises Whether or no he will forgive Penitent Sinners which I sear not Come Lord Jesus for now thy Servant cometh into thy Everlasting Arms of Mercy I commit my Soul into thy Hands O Heavenly Father Come Lord Jesus come quickly A Letter written to his Friend in his Sickness Beloved I Marvelled not that you have Pain for you are Sick but I marvel that you cover it not for Offences because the Wisdom of Man is to bite in his Gpief and always to shew more Comfort in God than Pain in Suffering Now God calleth to Repetitious to see whether you have learn'd more Patience and Constancy than others If Sickness be sharp make it not more sharp by frowardness But know this is a great Favour to us when we dye by Sickness that makes us ready for God when he calls us Now you have nothing to think upon but God and you cannot think upon him without Joy Your Grief passes away but your Joy will never Tell me Friend or Patient How many Stripes is Heaven worth Is my Friend only Sick in the World or his Faith weaker than others You have always Pray'd Thy Will be done and are you now offended that God's Will is done How hath the Faithful Man forgot that all things even Death if self turn to the best to them that love God Teach the Happy O Lord to see his Happiness through Troubles Every Pain is the prevention of the Pain of Hell Every Ease in Pain is a fore-tast of the Ease and Peace and Joys in Heaven Remember therefore your own Comforts to others before and be not impatient when there is most need of Patience but as you have ever Taught us to Live so now give us an Example to Dye and deceive Satan as Job did FINIS
God Let them in scorn and derision be Crucifying my Saviour between two Malefactors as the chiefest of them I in the greatest bitterness of my Soul will be pouring out the most ardent of my Prayers with Sighs Groans and Tears that are unutterable to remember me both now whilst thou art on the Cross and as soon as thou art exalted in thy Kingdom of Glory O God! the Son Redeemer of the World have mercy upon me miserable Sinner By the mystery of thy Holy Incarnation By thy Nativity and Circumcision By thy Fasting Baptism and Temptation Good Lord deliver me By thy Agony and Bloody Sweat By the Cross and Passion By thy precious Death and Burial By thy Glorions Resurrection and Ascension And by the coming of the Holy Ghost Good Lord deliver me O Son of God! I beseech thee to hear me O Lamb of God! that takest away the Sins of the World Grant me thy Peace O Christ hear me O Lord hear me O Lamb of God that takest away the Sins of the World have Mercy upon me Lord have mercy upon me Christ have mercy upon me O Lord hear me and remember me now now thou art giving up thy most precious Life and pouring out thy innocent harmless and compassionate Soul Remember me when thou com'st into thy Kingdom What can a poor Soul beg more and desire more of its Redeemer at the point of Death Or what can be given or done more by an ever-blessed Saviour and Holy Jesu to save us from the Jaws of Death Power of Hell and Eternal Torments Than to be pouring out his own Soul by Prayers and Tears to his Heavenly Father at the very last minute of his precious Life for us But stay O blessed Jesu What is it I perceive and see still in this black and dismal hour O Lord Is it thee still in thy Agony and bloody Sweat It is so dark I can but just perceive thee Is it not finisht yet What say'st thou Lord now to my poor fainting dying Soul Speak Lord one word of comfort to me notwithstanding all thy Adversaries and implacable Enemies about thee Speak Lord and thy Servant heareth Speak Lord and my Soul shall live If thou art so faint thou can'st not speak in this grievous Conflict let thy good Prophet speak for thee Wherefore when I came was there no man to help When I call'd was there none to answer Do you think I am past Saving of you or Delivering of you in this time of my Dereliction Tho you all forsake me in this hour of my Crucifixion I do not forsake you my Children my Flock and my poor Lambs my Redeemed and the purchas'd of my Soul Is my Hand shortned at all though nail'd to the Cross that I cannot Save or that I cannot Redeem Or have I no power to deliver Behold at my Rebuke I dry up the Sea I make the Rivers a Wilderness The Fish stinketh and dieth for Thirst because there is no Water I cloath the Heavens with blackness and I make Sack loth their covering I make the Earth to quake and tremble and it would tumble down to the Eternal Abiss but that I bear up the Pillars of it at this very moment that I am bleeding and dying upon the Cross Let the Jews have as vile and mean thoughts of me as they please and cast all their scorn and malice mixt with their cruel rage and poison at me It 's I that make the Rocks to rent the Sun to gather paleness and the Moon to be turn'd into Blood Notwithstanding that all the Scriptures might be fulfill'd and my Redeem'd Ones the Purchas'd of my Soul set at liberty I give my Back to the smiters and my Cheeks to them that pluck't off my Hair I hid not my face from shame and spitting for the Lord Gâ—d doth and will help my Soul and sustain it Whatever my Body doth or shall cry out and say therefore I shall not be confounded therefore I have set my Face like a Flint and know that I shall not be asham'd He is near that justifieth me Who will contend with me Let us stand together Who is my Adversary Let him come near Behold the Lord will help me Who is he that will condemn me Lo they shall all wax old as a Garment and the Moth shall eat them up Who is it amongst you that feareth the Lord Who obeyeth the Voice of hit Servant that walketh in darkness and hath no light Let him trust in the Name of the Lord and stay himself upod his God Behold all ye that kindle a Five that compass your selves about with sparks walk in the light of your Fire and in the sparks that ye have kindled this shall ye have of my hand ye shall lie down in sorrow Isa 50. But my Soul draw near or else thou wilt lose the sight of thy Saviour Darkness hastens on a-pace O Holy Jesu is it not thee Let me wipe and drain my dim and almost spent and blind Eyes and look again Lord it is thee I still perceive thy Tears distilling down thy sacred Face Thy Temples boiling out of Spirituous Blood Thy Sacred Hands and Feet blubbering up and venting out from behind the Nails great Bladders of Blood and Froth from the expulsive force of thy most exquisite Torments O Lord even now my Soul fainteth and dieth within me My Spirits fail me My poor Mortal Eyes and tender fainting Heart is not able to behold thee longer Nor yet while my Life and Strength remains can I forbear when an interval of Tears will permit my sight looking after thee still and pouring forth my fervent and frequent requests to thee and falling into these most strict Examinations within my self What! From the Sixth till almost the Ninth Hour is my dear Saviour in the height of this vehement Agony and not over yet But still labouring and groaning under the burthen of my Sins What great and heinous Sin of mine is it that I am guilty of that is not aton'd yet That God is so extremely incens'd at and that he will not yet pardon That my poor Saviour is yet struggling for till the last drop of his most Precious Blood is exhausted Let me look immediately into my Soul into every corner and crany of it all must out and be discover'd of what nature or quality soever it be whether Lying Cursing Swearing and Forswearing Theft Murther Fornication Adultery Incest Pollution with the Dead or Copulation with Beasts Blasphemy Spite and Contempt against thy Holy Word and Sacraments O quickly quickly quickly help me O my God to find it out and to bring all to remembrance that thou mayest no longer be extorted and convuls'd in these grievous Torments Look upon me dear Saviour and cast quickly thy dying Eye towards me Christ cast his dying Eyes to a Supplicant Sinner as thou didst upon Peter in the High-Priest's Hall denying thee that I may immediately remember it seeing thy Righteous Father is so exact
of the whole World he suffered and endured here on Earth for us which made him bitterly complain and cry out Behold and see all ye that pass by if there were ever any Sorrow like to my Sorrow any Wounds and Torments like mine which I have receiv'd in the House of my friends Canst thou receive suffer and endure all this for our Sins and still call us friends Canst thou O Holy Jesu still cry call suffer bleed and dye for us and yet pray for us and still be an Advocate for us and a compleat Redeemer O infinite O unlimited O unbounded O inconceiveable O inexpressible O incomprehensible Love of God to us that so loved the World than he gave his only begotten Son to Death for us for us Sinners wicked Sinners apostatizing Sinners even dead in Trespasses and Sins and all this Peter thou art not ignorant of Now Peter more particularly to thy self The First Denial of Peter And as Peter was beneath in the Palace there cometh one of the Maids of the High Priest and when she saw Peter warming of himself amongst the Croud she looked steadfastly upon him and said in derision Thou also wast with Jesus of Nazareth but he denied saying I know not neither do I understand what thou sayest And he went out into the Porch as fearing they might seize on him tho' but the Night before he had said Tho' all forsake thee yet will not I But he still lingers and stays not that he intended to suffer and dye with his Master as he had promised but only had a mind to see what would become of his Master and to hear what they did say to him for now was the time that our Saviour told him The Devil will tempt you Peter Satan hath a mind to winnow thee as Wheat but I have prayed for thee and well were it for thee Peter that whatever thy Master endur'd for thee in his Sacred Body yet he had secur'd thy Soul I have prayed for thee thy Faith fail thee not And as he was standing in the Porch the Cock crew the first time but as yet neither the Time nor the Scripture was fulfilled nor did Peter take any notice of it Mark 14.68 And while he was yet in the Porch The Second another Maid saw him and said unto them that were likewise with her This very fellow pointing to him was also with Jesus of Galilee and when he had heard what she said he flatly denied with an Oath I know not the man Matth. 26.71 72. How now Peter now I see the Devil is tempting thee indeed Hast thou so much forgot thy self and thy Duty to so good and so great a Master Are all his Miracles forgot by thee Are all his Lessons Instructions and Sermons or Sayings forgot by thee Are his very last and dying Words too forgot by thee And are thy own Promises and Engagements to thy departing and dying Saviour forgot by thee This is a great Crime indeed Peter and in all Ages and Times hath been accounted most abominable and unworthy not to fulfil the Request of our dying Friends and Relations and also not to perform our Promises to their dying Person and last Gasp and especially for thee Peter who hadst so dear and tender a Lord and Master that had took such pains with thee and care of thee whose Words one would have thought could never have been forgot by thee more especially not so soon and at this very instant when thou wast so near as to hear how thy Heavenly Master was confronted and abused and most wrong fully impeach'd and most falsely accus'd yet not to reminiscentiate the words of thy Master but when thou wast so peremptorily charg'd thou so flatly denied Well Peter thou wilt pay for this at last It 's well thou hast a friend in Court Then came one of the Servants of the High Priest The Third being his Kinsman and whose Ear Peter had out off charges him home and says Did not I see thee in the Garden with him And dost not thou very well know I have a just Quarel against thee And this is a fit place for it for cutting off my Ear when I laid hands of your Master in the Garden Look here and behold the mark I still bear of my Ear for thee and if it were not that my Kinsman was so busie with thy Master and I do not know how soon I may be called and therefore am unwilling to create another Fray and Disturbance otherwise I would make thee an Example and make you know you was thee I have no so quickly forgot you nor your Ear-mark neither John 18.26 And moreover if you should deny and lye never so much if there were no more in it but your Speech your very Speech it self is enough to betray you Then began Peter when he had heard all this to Curse and to Swear with all the Execrations imaginable and positive Denials I never saw before this time the Man neither do I know him and immediately the Cock crew Matth. 26.74 And the Lord turned back and looked steadfastly on Peter and Peter seeing that remembred the Words of his Master how he had said unto him Before the Cock crow twice thou shalt deny me thrice and he went out and wept bitterly Luk 22.61 62. Now Peter art thou in the Gaul of Bitterness and in the Bond of Iniquity now thou know'st not where to hide thy head now the very Arrows of the Almighty pierce the very Soul of thee now thou seest thou art fallen Let him that standeth take precaution by thy Example lest he fall in the same manner thou hast done What! deny thy Master Peter thy Saviour and thy Redeemer And what with such abominable Oaths and positive Denials This would make the very dumb Ass to open his Mouth and upbraid thy unparalell'd unkindness Thou alone Peter to be the Man to deny thy Lord and Master who had the most reason of any of the Disciples to have own'd him because present with him and hearing the Ignominy and notorious Slanders that they impudently spake against him thy own Conscience bearing thee Witness O how with Cain Peter complaining and praying for himself am I branded with my Infamy My Sins are greater than I am able to bear O that some one would even slay me What! deny my Master My Lord and Master my God! my Saviour and my Redeemer and my ever blessed Jesus What! and three times and with Cursing and Swearing too that I did not know thee O sweet Jesu not thee what not know thee O heavenly Jesu that brought me up from the beginning that converted me to the Faith that made me one of thy Disciples and not the least neither one that thou more remarkably took'dst notice of and care for and foretold me of this very present hour of Satan's Tempting me and pray'd earnestly for me to be deliver'd from this fatal hour O blessed Jesu well was it
and severe that there is no Redemption of thy most precious Soul and Sacred Body from the Cross till thou hast paid the very utmost Farthing and hast made full and compleat Satisfaction for me O dear Lord That Cast of thy languishing distracted dying Eye towards me hath brought all to remembrance And there dear Saviour in the speedy conveyance of a most ardent Ejaculation is it most humbly and devoutly presented unto thee that thou mayest instantly be deliver'd from the Torments and Bondage of Death in making ample Atonement for it and my poor Soul may be recorded as soon as thou art exalted in thy Kingdom of Glory Stay O my Soul a small space longer for now Darkness hastens on amain that I can scarce see thee But what is it I hear Does this abominable Sin of mine stick so fast still in the strict Court of Heaven that it makes thee cry out thus Will it not yet be discharg'd What dreadful Cry is it I 'm sure it must be my Sin Thou O blessed Jesu art Spotless and without Sin Guile was not found in thy Mouth It must be mine O miserable and wretched Creature as I am How impossible was I and unable to have under went this Suffering and Agony for my Sin as a poor Worm Dust Ashes and sinful polluted Man when it makes the Son of God thus complain and cry out Hark! Hark! O my Soul what is it that sounds thus in my Ears 'T is no usual Cry it must come from my Tortur'd Redeemer Hark! Harst Silence Hark! What is' t Eloi Eloi Lama sabachthani My God my God why hast thou forsaken me O my Soul what is it What is it I hear Eloi Eloi Lama-sabachthani My God my God why hast thou forsaken me O Lord O God! O Saviour O ever-blessed Redeemer O my Christ Son of God! Lamb of God! Dearly beloved of the Father Where shall I go Where shall I hide my self from the Wrath and dreadful Displeasure of thy Father if thou cry'st out so that art his Son his only begotten Son in whom always he was so well pleas'd What then can I do or where shall I appear if Wrath break out never so little towards me when thou that art a God complains so bitterly What then must a poor vile wretched miserable undone Creature and grievous polluted Sinner do But stay my Soul Endeavour still to be looking up toward thy Saviour Let my tremblng fainting Heart still endure the Crowd If thou dyest here thou mayest still be remembred with the Penitent Thief It 's the only time and place under Heaven to give up a departing Soul but if otherwise thou art called for a longer time on Earth have patience and see the last of thy erer-blessed Saviour If the Mother of our ever-blessed Lord stand to see the last Gasp of her dearly beloved Son and if Mary Magdalen and others stand weeping and crying and praying to see the last Gasp and dismal End of this unparalell'd Tragedy thou hast as much need I say if amongst these Mary the Mother of our ever-blessed Jesu can stand to behold her Nine Months Labour in her precious Womb and to see the Travail of her Soul thus tormented to Death canst not thou do the same More especially thy Sins O my Soul are great which thou hast committed have patience a while and much shall be forgiven thee Let us now see what further the Jews have to do till their Wrath is quite spent And when the Sixth Hour was come there was Darkness over the whole Earth until the Ninth Hour and at the Ninth Hour Jesus cry'd out with a loud Voice saying Eloi Eloi Lama sabachthani Which being interpreted is My God my God why hast thou forsaken me And some of them which stood by said He calleth for Elias let him come down and save him if he can Then presently he cry'd I Thirst immediately one runs and fills a Spunge full of Vinegar and Gaul and gives it him to drink Psal 69.21 Mark 15.23 All this Suffering hitherto of our Blessed Lord and Saviour had wrought nothing upon these Cruel Incredulous Jewish Stony Hearts but they squeeze this bitter Potion into his most Sacred Mouth with bitter Revilings which at all times is counted most base and inhuman to insult over the most vilest Malefactors at the time of their suffering the satisfaction and penalty of the Law yet such is the Cruelty of these barbarous Infidels Let us see say they if Elias will come and take him down from the Cross and save him But our Blessed Jesu as he had liv'd Christ the Son of the ever living God so he would dye Christ and Saviour of the World pâ—aying for his most bitter and inhuman Enemies at the very last minute of his most precious Life Father forgive them they know not what they do But when they saw that all their Rage Malice and Barbarous Cruelty ended in a Prayer for them their Hearts began to smite them and they stood gazing one upon another and when they began to see such thick Darkness fall upon them and the Earth quaking and trembling under their Feet they began to be convinc'd in their Consciences some of them and to say one to another Surely this is the Son of God and cry'd What shall we do And looking up to Jesus again they saw him bowing his Head and saying Consummatum est Now it is finished Father into thy hands I commit my Spirit and bowed his Head and gave up the Ghost And as one devoutly observes the posture of this Death carries in it a lively Representation of his great Love to Mankind his Arms stretch'd out as it were to embrace all those that would come to him and his Head bowing down to kiss them And at the Ninth Hour there was Darkness over the whole Earth for the Sun began to hide his Head as not able to behold it The Vail of the Temple was torn from the top to the bottom the Earth quak'd and the Rocks rent which made the Centurion that stood by as a Sheriff by Pilate's Command to see our Saviour executed begin to be grievously afraid and to say Of a certain this was the Son of God Luke 23.30 Matth. 27.54 And no sooner had our dear Saviour let fly his Blessed Spirit and ascended to his Heavenly Throne and glorified Saints and Angels but they rejoycing at his glorious Presence immediately brake forth into singing of Praises and Hallelujahs with the Penitent Thief And having now overcome the Power of Death and Hell forthwith the Graves open'd and many Bodies of the Saints which slept arose Matth. 27.52 and began to glorifie God Like 23.47 But the Jews when they saw all this began to call to the Mountains to hide them from the Wrath to come Luke 23.48 And all the People that came together to that Sight beheld the things that were done and were amaz'd and smote their Breasts and return'd that the Scriptures might