of this good womans trouble shee was served by all her friends which wonne much and wrung many things from her in love which could not otherwise possibly have been attained For alas All that while they are in a spirituall fever and what and Physitian will adventure to give physick in a burning fever 3. When they begin to mend and become more docible wee must no then bring like Iobs friends who mistook his case the Law for the Gospel This is Satans work usually most of them are to apt to lay too much load upon themselves It is an easie matter to throw down when one is a going facilis discensus Averni then it is Satans work down with it down with it down with it even to the ground O but it is the work of the great God to raise one up who is dejected It is the work of the Holy Ghost in that case to raise up encourage and convince us in a despairing estate Wherefore spirituall Physitians must be like Christ the great Physitian of whom it is said A bruised reed shall hee not break and smoaking flax shall he not quench untill hee bring forth judgement unto victory or a victorious sanctification in us as wee were glad to doe by this good creature by all gentle meanes to toll on uphold and cherish her spirit untill God at length came in and did all Twelfly But lo lo whilst we are now towards a conclusion where Thanksgiving also appeareth in treating on the passages of this Rare Case not to be forgotten so as the stupidiâ—y dulnesse deadnesse and sluggishnesse of our sinfull dispositions might be whetted and set on edge more then ever thereby unto more exact and serious frequent actings thereof for our freedome from those innumerable troubles sorrowes sicknesses and diseases both inward and outward of all sorts which tormenteth many others better then we who enjoying abundance of unperceived ordinary mercies doe therefore slight and neglect the same For when vexations of tooth-ach stone strangury convulsions gout palsies burning fevers agues ulcers swellings broken and dis-joynted bones streined sinews displaced arteries inflammations and the like annoy us terrors of conscience with a wounded spirit Satans incessant buffettings apprehensions of Hell and the wrath of God affright us O what torments dolefull dayes and miseries doe we endure to bec as it is Deut. 28. In perpetuall feares having no assurance of our lives And yet O how unthankfull are wee and senslesse of so great and wonderfull mercies as daily and nightly we are freed from the least whereof when their contraries surprize us makes us cry out as most miserable witnesse this good Gentlewoman forementioned Who being and living in continuall feares valued nothing at all this world took no comfort in any thing here below And yet it is strange how daily we slubber over our Thanksgivings and freedom from miseries we enjoy as though they were not most great and wonderfull every morning renewed mercies or else we should have wonderfull and dolefull dayes But it is our misery and frailty that a prick of a pin in our flesh usually wee are more sensible of then of the health and harmonicall concord both of soul and body And therefore hereafter to chafe survey and consider of our present mercies to bruise and tosse them as men doe Aromatick sweets that their fragrancies may the more abundantly spread forth themselves whilst the North and South winde of the spirit thus blowes upon them to shew forth and make us consider of their excellencies unto Admirations utmost wonder thus to ascend a higher pitch upon this mount of Thanksgiving and become more perfect upon earth of our endlesse work in Heaven Thirteenthly As we began with this good Creature who led forth the Van in a Tempest so now having been victorious let us so far honour her as to bring up the Reere and make the last Use which she her selfe made unto all succeeding Survivers howsoever afflicted especially by dissertion or hardnesse of Heart That they should upon experience of her CASE and Gods goodnesse unto her not be so discouraged in any estate whatsoever as to give over the use of meanes but to ply them still trust and wait and they would prevaile at length Therefore then from hence let all such learn to wait and depend upon God And since as it is Isa 30. hee waits in all their troubles for an opportunity to shew mercy unto them therefore to wait and depend upon him untill hee come For though they may wait long yet herein they may abundantly comfort themselves That God will comfort them according to all the dayes they have beene afflicted and the years wherein they have seene evill That hee who hath shewed us sore and great troubles will yet quicken us againe and bring us up from the depth of the earth encrease our greatnesse and comfort us on every side Psal 71.20.21 That though they have beene led through fire and water causing men ride over their heads yet that he will bring them forth unto a wealthy place Psal 66.12 That when they walk in the midst of trouble God will revive them and maintaine their cause Psal 140.12 That after deliverances from affliction their souls shall be as a watered Garden and shall not sorrow any more at all Ier. 31.12 And that in deliverance they shall have severall comforts answering their severall crosses Ier. 31.8 being built up againe as at the first Ier. 33.7 And therefore to persist and goe on trusting still and depending upon God because though they may for the present want sense and feeling of Gods love yet as Peter speaks because in the interim they are kept by the power of God unto salvation that they are all in Gods hand at the worst Deut. 33.3 from above having the eternall God for their refuge beneath being claspt in his everlasting armes Deut. 23.27 And so Because hee brings light from darknesse perfection from weaknesse by death bringing unto life and by the gates of Hell unto Heaven Seeing he makes all things work together for good unto us and all his works how crosses so ever beautifull in time O let the Saints after so rare a President of this good woman never hereafter bee out of Heart assuring themselves of deliverance whatsoever their Case be in using of the meanes For What is a hard heart yea ten thousand hard hearts unto that great God who with a Word made Heaven and Earth for whom nothing is too hard Gen. 17.1 Who over-turneth the Mountaines by the roots who shakes the Earth Heaven dropping at his presence Psal 78.8 who calleth all the Stars by their names by the greatnesse of his might spans the Heavens clothing them with blacknesse making Sack-cloth their covering commanding the Sun not to rise and sealing up the Starres c. Upon all these grounds therefore and many moe too tedious to relate let all stoope unto God Saint-like lie and sit down at his feet receiving of his words taking the experimentall counsell of this good woman to keep close unto God in the use of meanes and then they are safe Resolving that though they die yet to die at his feet and so to wait and trust still unto the last for he will come at last unto them as Habacuc hath it The vision is for an appointed time though it it tarry yet wait for it will come and not tarry as it did unto this good woman after ten years expectation whose abundant feeling and comforts in the end did manifoldly surmount all her sufferings and troubles in an unspeakable manner and measure leaving her selfe as the matchlesse monument of Gods unspeakeable mercy unto all stout stiffe and hard-hearted sinners for ever even though for a while they doe resist the meanes who for all this may be won by overcomming mercies as she was so tryumphing over all their spirituall enemies as to sing at length in a more ensulting and lofty way with Deborah Judg. 5.21 O my Soule thou hast trodden down strength FINIS Errata Pag. 52. 1. 9. for knâ—w â—ead known p. 138. l. 2â— for strangely â— suddenly p. 131. for Mr r. Mistrisse p. 162. l. 13. for fell sleep r. had slept
but that that once before my death hee would reveale Christ unto mee give mee some sense and feeling of his love And open the brazen Gates of his hard heart of mine that the King of glory might enter in After which as you had prayed this sudden out-crying fit of unsupportable joy and feeling surprized mee with such violence rushing in upon me as I could not containe my selfe but make this sudden out-cry amongst you all But I must confesse unto you I know not neither doe I remember what I said But now I beseech you to make this use hereof hereafter unto all in my Case Triumphant rare Speech and confession After mee never dispaire of any how desperatly miserable so ever their Case bee which at the worst cannot exceed mine but use and apply the meanes unto them and they will prevaile at length I was like a piece of knotty timber who have endured so many the more knocks with strong wedges so much adoe there was so work me but now I thank God who hath heard my prayer and revealed Christ unto me and now I care not for all this world The fountaine of all my misery hath been that I sought for that in the Law which I should have found in the Gospel and for that in my selfe which was only to be found in Christ A wrong way I confesse which hath occasioned unto me so much sorrow but now all is well O pray pray pray O give thanks for now you have it you have it you have it This so solid and strange speech so heavenly rationall gave a great deale of contentment unto all present Mr Dod according unto her desire framing himselfe unto a prayer altogether of thanksgiving admiring Gods infinite work in her and for her beseeching a happy close of this great work begun For matter of petition now shee cared not for lying like a Conqueror with an extraordinary cheerefull aspect full of rapt joy as now shee had been possessor of all things having no need of any thing now that Christ was hers all things being hers also the remainder of the day being spent in over-joyed speeches with exhortations to Thanksgiving still telling us Now you have it yee have it you have it and taking our hands in hers and heaving them up and down many times together very thankfull unto us all as shee wished us to bee thankfull unto God for her This same Tuesday She bath the like Rapture againe again about foure a clock in the afternoone the Chamber being full of her friends joyfull to see her so fraught with joy after so many sorrowfull dayes Suddenly shee fell out againe in a strange manner in such an other rapt fit of joy beyond all expression uttering just about the same things as formerly in the same manner as in the morning enduring about the same time and so ceased and was quiet againe as formerly She thereupon called Mr Dod wondering at the strangenesse of the thing told him That her joy and sense thereof was so over-comming and strong as shee could not for her life containe her selfe from bursting forth thus againe for as shee said her fraile flesh was overcome therewith and so shee entreating him again to give thanks he did so spending the remainder of that day in heavenly discourse of another world hoping that shee should that night have slept soundly having now watched and been without sleep above a week together But it seemes as as the lame man Act. 3.8 having received his feet for joy did nothing for awhile but skip frisk and leap so shee now having been as it were in another world revived with uncouth new joyes could not take any rest or sleep but rejoyce alwayes and talke of the same And so that night having divers friends to watch and sit by her shee spent the same in good discourse and singing of Psalmes All the time shee had been ill shee could not of all the Psalmes endure to joyn in singing of the thirty Psalme but that night of her selfe she cal'd for it with this expression Cousin now turn to the thirty Psalme by the Relator alwayes urged upon her to belong unto her but I durst never appropriate or apply the same unto my selfe untill now and so that Tuesday night sung the same very cheerefully as was said she passing this night over also without any inclination to rest or sleep On the Wednesday morning Her dressing for the grave her indulgent Mother that worthy good soule Mr Tottle did rise betimes and came to visite her when finding her in a strange unusuall Attire for that morning now apprehending death at hand she had caused her selfe to be dressed from top to toe all in white concealing her conceit therein untill her Mother came who seeing her thus strangely drest spake lovingly unto her in her accustomed phrase How now Daughter what 's the matter with thee me thinks thou lookest like a Bride So I am Mother said she a Bride now trimmed for Christ the Bridegroome and now Mother I have my last suit to make unto you for I am a woman of another world when I am dead I pray you dresse me just thus as you see me now and so let me be laid in my grave for for this cause I caused my self to be dressed thus this morning that you might see how I would be laid in the grave Whereunto her Mother bursting forth into weeping shee comforted her all shee could saying Mother me thinks you should rather rejoyce to see me so neare home after that I have so long a time been storm beaten and sea-sick not now to grudge that I am arrived so neare the haven And so prayd her to suffer her willingly to depart home in peace whereupon her Mother for that time being a matchlesse tender Mother parted with many teares Soone after this came Mr Dod and Dr Presâ—on to her unto whom she with a great deale of joy told the same discourse as formerly she had done unto her Mother That thus as shee was then drest she desired to be laid in the grave After their departure having prayed with her and given thanks for no other part of prayer shee now affected as being heire of all things not having need of any thing shee sent for divers of the house severally Shee schooles the servants unto whom shee gave seasonable and sutable exhotations fitting unto their places thaking her leave of them all wherein shee was so punctuall that with her good will she would have had every servant of the house to have come severally unto her but that her Mother fearing that which after came to passe some weaknesse to ensue so much watching speaking and toyling incessantly of her spirits durst not expose her unto the hazard of so insupportable a toyle Being now very much spent this Wednesday after dinner shee caused to voide her Chamber of every body and sent for her Father to speak with schoole and take leave of
ment 2 This were directly against his nature mission and office and the Decree of God Thus to beat men off the use of meanes discouraging them in the good way who must wait and lie at the doore of mercy still untill the Lords good time and pleasure were revealed and known in the use of meanes And this also was press'd unto her further Argu ∣ ment 3 what a horrible blasphemy and impiety it were either to honour the Devill so farre or assume unto her selfe by his meanes the knowledge of things to come this being that which was only proper unto Iehovah himselfe by his spirit to shew and reveale advising her to beware in this kinde not to encrease the wrath of God against her seeing God Isa 44.7 46.10 differencing himselfe from Idols and all their discoveries is to know things that are come and a comming declaring the end from the beginning and from ancient times the things that were not yet done From all which issued this deduction that shee was infinitly abused in this strange conception and that the Devill or shee from him were not certaine of any things to come unlesse revealed by the Spirit of God shee having from thence no such revelation that therefore she was by Satan utterly cozened and abused in the matter of Gods Decree and so was bound to use the meanes trust and wait upon God therein shee being his creature to let him do what he pleased with her either in life or death This strong fiery dart thus repulsed quenched shee became also convinced in this point that only God not the Devill could reveale his owne Counsels and Decrees and therefore that perhaps shee might bee deceived in this her strong confidence in that kinde But still retaining the third That her indisposition unto all manner of goodnesse Satan holds hard having once got ground pronenesse unto all manner of evill her naturall temper and composition of minde not able to use any meanes or take any paines for heaven too evidently demonstrated that shee had no part or portion there and therefore that she had better leave off all then labor in vaine Answ 1 Hereunto answer was made That God though he had Decreed to save mankinde by the meanes of a Mediator yet in his good wise Providence had so ordered the conveyance of our salvation as Austin speaks that he who made us without us The use of meanes is strongly pressed upon her to bee saved will not save us without us therefore that all our life time we must be humble sutors labourers after endeavourers and strivers after that salvation which he hath appointed for us using all those meanes constantly and not to lie still in a ditch without endeavouring to rise and to cry Lord help us such a one hee told her did worthily perish It was further now also press'd unto her that God now after that miracle of all miracles in the sending his Sonne to assume our flesh and save us now ordinarily wrought not the same miraculously but by ordinary concurring meanes and endeavours revealed in the word that as those who in the Wildernesse were stung by the fiery Serpents were not healed unlesse they looked up unto the Brazen Serpent no more any now could obtaine salvation unlesse they believed in christ its antitype Argu ∣ ment or motive 1 And that therefore if she used not the meanes but rejected and wilfully withstood the same as there was no hope any way of salvation so if she used the meanes there being hope and many promises annexed to the same there was good hope of her salvation Argu ∣ ment or motive 2 And put the case which hee denyed that she must needs perish yet much better it were to perish in a way of obedience and duty full of hope all the way and usually successefull whereunto were annexed many promises wherein the truth of god who cannot lie but is faithfull in all his promises is engaged then in a wilfull way of disobedience Argu ∣ ment or motive 3 That all experiences since the beginning of the world have shewed that it never yet was in vaine or unsuccessefull but alwayes advantageous and prosperous to use the meanes waite and depend upon God yea though it were as long and longer then the impotent man Ioh. 5. lay at the poole of Bethesda ere hee had help And therefore seeing her case was now just like those foure Leapers who sate at the Gate of Samaria 2 Kin. 4. Motive 4 pressed home Who being like to perish in that great famine resolved if and since they must needs perish if they sate still there but if they adventured into the Campe of the Aramites they might peradventure be saved at the worst but die at their approach thither finding the Amarites fled they had choyce of the spoyle So if shee used not the meanes but despised them shee must of necessity perish but if used shee might no question be saved And so to this effect were urged those places Micah 2.7 O thou that art called by the name of the house of Jacob is the Spirit of the Lord straigthned and those his doings doe not my words doe good to them that walk uprightly and this Seek yee the Lord all yee meek of the earth which have wrought his judgement seek Righteousnesse and seek meeknesse It may bee yee shall bee hid in the day of the Lords anger Zeph. 2.3 And so that of Amos 4.12 Therefore this will I doe unto thee O Israel and because I will doe these things unto thee prepare thy selfe to meet thy God O Israel even that God who is said Amos 5.8 to turn the shadow of death into the morning all which put her on strongly unto the matter of endevour seeing as it is Micah 4.12 None know the thoughts of the Lord neither understand they his counsell so that their being a possibility for ought shee could know to use the meanes as she was able there was an absolute necessity for her to submit her selfe unto the meanes These and the like things thus deliverd did much amaze her spirit to have beene thus farre deluded and mistaken in her own Case and wherein shee was so setled resolute and confident unto all which shee at length made this Reply Her convinced answer That now she was convinced and did certainly believe that none but God knew things that were to come that shee had erred in judgement in so thinking of her selfe That the desperate Case and estate shee was in had caused her to make such conclusions against her selfe That now shee believed the Devill had no knowledge of Gods Decrees concerning the everlasting estate of the creature no more then pleased God to reveale unto him That she was contented to do what shee could in using of the meanes if shee might bee assured to reape any benefit thereby But that the accidentall indisposition both of her body and minde were such as shee in this Case
gift of God which hee might at his pleasure give and accept in good part whatsoever measure thereof he were pleased It was not to be doubted of but that she might in time attaine unto so much thereof in the use of meanes as hee would accept of and as might bring her unto heaven For God of all his Attributes is said only to delight in mercy Micah 7. his nature being to forgive and forget iniquity transgression sin and sinnes of custome Fifthly That as sinne was a perpetuall act in us so in God there was a perpetuall act in pardoning of sinne not transient but in a perpetuall constant current as Zach. 13.1 a fountaine opened ever running to wash away all sinne and uncleannesses with many the like things which now againe wonne her spirit to rest upon God though now and then upon divers occasions she used to fly out a little Yet being continually hammered and hewen with the tough acute disputations of this good man Mr Hooker who was very assiduously industrious in watching her disposition and various inclinations of her changes and tentations by Gods mercy shee grew still better using to present her selfe constantly to the use of meanes having prayer catechizing expounding and reading of the word and singing of Psalms constantly in the family now with delight and willingnesse acted being never weary to have the word expounded yea and in private spending some time by herselfe alone daily as the indisposition of her distempered body heart-burning and in a manner perpetuall head-ach would permit her but yet would not bee known nor confesse unto any what in private shee did being alone The good soule is yet tossed up and down Now have wee her in the wildernesse tossed up and downe like the Church in their march unto Canaan fraught with divers stormes now backwards now forwards with many turning and winding temptations restlesse in her thoughts because desire hath no rest having some glimmering glimpse of hope but as she faid had no grounds for the same expecting when the Lord would bee pleased to work in her some great work for enabling In which Case now up now down the better shee grew in her minde having still therewithall the greater weaknesse and indisposition of body she continued a long time her old friend Mr Dod now and then once in a quarter of a year comming to visite her whom she much rejoyced to see praying not any more to stay so long away for now shee rested assured her time on earth was but of small continuance About which time it fell out that Mr Hooker also having acted his part with her and done his best to comfort uphold and rectifie her spirit so fitting her for mercy as nothing remained to bee done but a full gaile of spirituall winde to blow upon her to bring forth her fruit that by Gods Providence he was married unto her waiting-woman After which both of them having lived some time after with her and he cal'd to bee Lecturer at Chemsford in Essex Master Hooker leaves her they both left her her Husband having provided another for the Cure but not like unto the other who also came often to visite her being much there And there lived also two miles from thence a worthy good Minister one Mr Witherell of Waltham upon Thames whom shee went constantly to heare and was alwayes very helpfull unto her but especially when Mr Hooker had thus left her whom every Thursday shee heard hee being a painfull able good mercifull man did then much help her both in publike and also in private helps of conference and expounding of the Word which now shee much delighted in at all occasions especially shee found a little comfort in opening of that chapter Micah 7. one time when Mr Dod was with her three Moneths before her death though as shee said she durst not acknowledge nor confesse the same for feare it had not been so But ah should I now lance forth into the discourse of the losse of so good a friend The preparation unto her death but what say I of losse No she was not lost shee was now found with her face strongly bent home Heaven-wards Having therefore thus far proceeded in this said Trage-Comicall discourse I must now proceed to the Catastrophe thereof If therefore good Reader thou wilt have a little more patience to heare the rest thou shalt quickly see the Scene change with a joyfull Comicall conclusion For though all this while shee hath gone forth weeping carrying pretious seed now thou shalt see ber returne with sheaves of everlasting joy though weeping hath beene many an evening yet now thou shalt see joy come in an everlasting morning Though Satan hath much toyled wearied out and vexed her spirit yet thou shalt see how the God of peace shall shortly tread downe Satan under her feet her reward infinitely surpassing all her momentany sufferings which now comes to bee the fourth and last thing propounded Her death and the preparation unto it Divers years since Mr Dod left her and some large time also after that Mr Hooker was removed unto Chemsford shee remained more chearefull in minde though tormented with her heart-burning and in a manner perpetuall megrum which made her to lie much of the day upon her bed unfit for any other actions of endeavor in the use of meanes she would or should otherwise be employed in About this time a strong distaste was given her from a neare friend A new griefe is added to the former not necessary here to relate nor to our purpose Which yet fastened so upon her that it grew more and more and brought her into a posture of great discontent so as shee became in her thoughts a woman in some sort of another world who being resolute in her way unremoveable having resolved and alwayes purposing when shee found her selfe neare unto her last to die at her Fathers House and lie with her kindred and friends at Ammersum Shee suddenly told her Husband that shee found her selfe very ill and therefore that shee was purposed to goe suddenly unto her Fathers House Hee much wondering at the suddennesse of her resolution told her If her resolution were such to goe so quickly his businesse was such as hee could not yet goe with her unlesse she would stay until his businesse was dispatcht but if she were resolute to goe that hee would not stay her she might when she would So shee being resolute the next day with two of her men shee departed for her Fathers House where being arrived they wondering that shee came so without her Husband shee in plaine termes told them That shee alwayes had resolved to die at Sharolois and therefore shee not knowing how long her time should be finding her weaknesse great had now come without her husband to die there saying that her husband would shortly follow after They much wondering at this sudden newes from her and unexpected strange speeches yet at her
him whom shee dealt with and schooled having him all alone for above an houre together Shee chooles and takes leave of her father whom when shee had said her minde unto and taken her leave of shee dismissed him At his descending from her the Relator did what hee could in a a faire way to have fished from him what she had said unto him Of whom nothing could bee obtained save in the generall That shee had given him very good counsell both touching his wife and himselfe and concerning the ordering of his estate and family and to keep a Preacher in his house with many other all good things as hee said Presently after this shee called to speak with the Relator Her farewell speech to the Relator whom having made to sit down by her shee first gave him many solemne thanks in a sull gaile of loving expressions for his care and paines taken with her and then she said she had a suit unto him Who replyed that any suit of hers if in his power was granted ere known which yet served not the turne but shee would have his hand to forgive her which being done she prayed him to forgive her who wondering at the strangenesse of this needlesse suit told her that hee had rather cause to ask forgivenesse of her having much failed both in duty and love unto her A rare confession O no said shee you must forgive me that you for so many yeares together having shewed mee so much love and beene a meanes of my everlasting comfort and happinesse that yet I have been so unkind unto you for I have not loved you by the hundred part in that measure I ought to have done according to that love you have shewed mee But will you know the cause I could love no body as I should so long as I was not assured of Gods love to me for that onely sets our love a fire to runne strongly the right way I could untill then neither love you nor any body else during so much distraction and diversion as I should have done And now that my love is thus kindled this is my sorrow my time being short that now I can no otherwise expresse my selfe then by this poore acknowledgement in a time I am so unfit and disabled to performe my desires But I well hope that what I cannot doe that God who set you a work for my good and my other friends will performe when I am gone And so for that time with abundance of love and thanks dismissed the Relator Thus having in some ample manner disposed of all the businesse shee seemed to have in this world The remainder of this afternoone shee lay in her former joyfull posture rejoycing to speak of the best things unto every one neare unto her yet without any rest or sleep or inclination that way When Mr Dod and Dr Preston came to visite her shee still entreating to give thanks no other discourse shee had as wanting nothing So continuing all this day untill the evening late that there was a great change as in part shall be shewed for least shee should bee lifted up through her former revelation joyes and rapture so short which endured not surpassing her strength shee had a weakning cooler to keep her down low For lo lo Shee is surprised with a weakness the Scene now changes againe the curtaine waves and tosses a little with an uncouth winde party coloured no firme impressions appeared She who lately was in a glorious triumph flying away forcibly from us all as it were with Eagles wings mounting upwards is now suddenly surprized with an extreame fainting and weaknesse of spirits being for ten dayes and nights over-wearied watched and toyled out so as now shee bewrayed some weaknesse in her expressions not being as formerly so lively and substantiall which continued the Thursday and Friday after never having any rest or sleep all the time which distemper made them send post to London for two Physitians hoping by their advice to have made her rest But all in vaine No physick could cure her but heavenly physick Therefore on the Saturday Mr Dod Dr Preston and Mr Hooker A Fast kept for her kept a private fast for her the issue whereof was in that forenoone she fell asleep rested soundly some five or six houres together and then waked in a very midle gentle temper Then shee cal'd unto her Cousin Herreis a good Gentlewoman alwayes exceeding carefull of her Sarah tell me did not I lately in some speeches forget my selfe Whereunto her Answer was Truly Cousin so you did but we imputed the same to your many dayes and night-watching and over-wearying of your spirits unable so long to hold out So it was said she My spirits were spent and gone which caused that weaknesse Then shee remembring all that had passed Her death her strange Raptures but nothing which then shee had said in them retaining her former grounds comfort and cheerefulnesse as in so much weaknesse could bee expressed cald for Mr Dod Dr Preston with the rest of her friends causing them to give thanks with her and for her venting her selfe unto them thus That her time was now at hand prayd them not to leave her and being very weak spake then her minde unto her Father Mother and Husband in a sort taking leave of them sent for her Children and blessed them now imagining to have done all her work And so from thence fell into a silent Rapture of joyfull singing of Hymnes and verses of Psalms not greatly caring to speak unto any body save now and then unto Mr Dod when hee moved an occasion And so shee lay this Saturday night and the next Sunday only when Mr Dod came desiring still to give thanks all which time shee grew weaker and weaker having by this time no audible but a hollow low voyce scarce to be understood The Munday after in the morning when shee fell asleep being come Mr Dod with the rest comming unto her shee when shee saw them all about her rejoyced and smiled taking them all by the hand with a cheerefull countenance beckned unto Master Dod to give thanks and bent her selfe what shee could with lifted up hands to joyne speaking softly unto her selfe in her Hymning way And so whilst they were at Prayer suddenly her hands falling and her lips going she sunck down in the bed and departed leaving all her friends mourning about her Thus have we seene the strange Story and scarce credible the like never heard of before I believe of this good Gentlewoman whom now wee will suffer to rest in peace freed from all the stormes and tempests wherein shee left her survivers Her buriall Who two dayes after was buried according to her desire at Ammersum in that Attire shee before her death had dressed her selfe Dr Preston Preaching her funerall Sermon with the infinite teares of all her friends and poore of the Parish Shee was of an extraordinary
righteous must needs end in joy Sixthly Then also we see here that crosses and afflictions are only lesser and greater as it pleases the great God to set them on lesse or more as it pleases him to abstract the light of his countenance from us turn loose Satan upon us enfatuate our judgements giving us some taste and sense of his encensed wrath Oh! who then can dwell with such everlasting burnings and if smaler sins discovered thus set on and torment yea some thoughts only as in this good Gentlewoman Oh! what may the greater doe if he should aggravate them discovering the wrath due unto them without a suitable sight of mercy Therefore to break off our sins betimes repent of them and to sow for our selves in righteousnesse that wee may have a sure reward and bee able at last to stand with boldnesse before the Son of Man Seventhly So seeing too eager desire of feeling cost this Gentlewoman so deare though shee had her desire therefore not to dote too much upon it being restlesse untill they have it as many good soules doe who like Rachel restlesse for children cryd out still comfort comfort feeling feeling or else wee die But let them be contented of what measure thereof God of his infinite wisedome thinks best for them For He who hath created them for eternity of glory surely knowes the best meanes and way to bring them thither Seeing feeling at the best is uncertaine short and quickly vanishing and too much doted upon and eagerly persued brings us onely to a habit of discontentment without it whilst wee cannot bee contented unlesse every day the Almighty feast us forgetting that wee walk by faith and not by sight and that the life we now live in the flesh is by the Faith of the Son of God vision and sense for to come Eighthly Then behold from this rare experience here this lesson Not to prescribe or appoint God a way which way to bring us unto glory Hee knew the fittest and shortest way to have brought the children of Israel unto the Land of Canaan without passing through a red sea But out of his infinite wisedome he made choyce of the wildernesse way unto them That as Moses shewes hee might prove them try them and doe them good at their latter end And yet how crooked soever his wayes seem unto our corrupted senses they bee alwayes straight how full soever of turnings and windings as the Psalmists That hee brought them out by a right way unto Canaan Therefore to rest confident herein that this which God appoints is alwayes best for us whether hee lead us in a wildernesse in a a straight crooked smooth tedious long afflicted way by the gates of Hell unto Heaven or with a more gentle comfortable gale of joy let us be contented so he bring us thither as hee did this good woman here if by any meanes wee attaine unto a joyfull Resurrection of the Dead it is a very great purchase as Paul acknowledges Ninthly For which is the next Sure it is Seeing a glance of Heaven a little taste of heavenly joy is so prevalent to make us to forget all even an age of afflictions as this good Gentlewoman found who thereupon forgot all her by-past troubles swallowed up in surmounting joyes I say if a touch a taste a short glance onely bee so forcible and ravishing How surmountingly excellent glorious and revishing shall that estate bee to drink at the fountaine head of the beatificall vision out of the rivers of his pleasures for ever Therefore to rest confident and patient in all afflictions seeing our comforts are at length beyond all our crosses seeing God ruines none by afflictions but purges purifies cleanses whitens enlightens and fits us thereby to bee vessels capacious of so much the more glory out of the ruines of the flesh erecting framing and building up that glorious structure of the new creature to mount up at length out of the wildernesse of this world fraught with Myrrhe and Frankincense and all the spices of the Merchant unto eternity of glory for ever Tenthly Next hence observe That God never comes too late unto his servants but will alwayes bee seene in the Mount making our extremities his opportunities as he did unto Abraham in Isaac's case and as this good Gentlewoman found who being much afflicted comfortlesse for many yeares together even at the point of death yet at length hee was entreated came and revived her in a swifter course then the running swift Charets of Aminadab nay came flying as it were upon the wings of the winde passing ans skipping by all the hills of sinnes and mountaines of her corruptions when in her appearing last suit unto him and extreame weaknesse she had beg's now at length once before her death to open the brazen gates of her hard heart that the King of glory might enter in which was abundantly done Therefore though he stay never so long let all the hard-hearted gaine by this experience of hers with the Churches resolution in Isaiah I will wait upon him who hides his face from the house of Iacob and I will look for him and reason good For he never failes of comming being waited for and engaged by so many promises wherein it is impossible for him to deny himselfe Eleventhly Further also hence wee may learn how to deale with those in affliction in whatsoever Case View them well first be not too brief with them Heare them vent themselves Try the symptomes and pulses of their disease as Iobs three friends who sate it is written seven dayes and nights silent because thay saw his griefe was great for unseasonable comforts are and prove but like raine falling upon hard stones which runs off as fast as it comes making no impressions whilst their buzzing heads and transported spirits are gadding plodding elsewhere with strong diversions as it fell out with this good Gentlewomen who passed not for all was said unto her for a long time neither was hope of cure untill the Devils counsell was bewrayed 1. Therefore it behoves to be circumspect and patient awhile to finde out the cause and circumstances of distempers or else no good can bee done for though counsell in the heart of a man be like deep waters yet Salomon shewes that a man of understanding will fetch it out 2. And then his counsell being bewrayed the Patient must be mildly meekly and gently used not hald and puld hurried and chid O no this is a wrong course but used with abundant patience and love waited upon with many good words and suffered to bemoane themselves as much as they list repeating one thing still over and over againe as often as they please Many good things fit for them must be uttered in their hearing not too soone pressd upon them as spoken unto others they must have here a little and there a little not pressd beyond their strength wonne by degrees with a loving sweet affable carriage as all these yeares
unjustly against her selfe setting her affections on fire by his injected wild-fire temptations That he made no doubt of her recovery but that now being acquainted with her Case and minde hee would goe home and consult with God what were fittest answers for the same returning ere long againe if God were so pleased then to endeavor to satisfie and heal all her doubtings In the meane time untill then enjoyning her chearefulnesse patience moderation in all things before her Husband and Parents and to attempt no more violence against her selfe all which shee faithfully promised and kept Still shee holds the maine conclusion Hee being gone in his absence shee carried her selfe discreetly and modestly not refusing to speak with any of those Divines who in the interim came to visit her and would sit and dispute with them a long time together but still in the old bias holding her strong maine conclusions the fabrick whereof appeared to be so strongly rooted in her that they seemed unremoveable all who as appeared did no good unto her save so much as they could to perswade her from such stiffe peremptory conclusions against her selfe and from prying into Gods secrets presuming to know those things which God in this life reveales not unto any but reserves as his own high prerogative only to know what his decree is touching the everlasting state of the Creature to come affirming that this knowledge which she pretended to have thereof was false and that this revelation was only known in the sanctified use of meanes which shee so farre refused as she could not be perswaded to goe to Church by any though they much urged her unto it Only now she would kneele and joyn in prayer with them but by no meanes in singing of any Psalme which shee affirmed not to belong unto any in her Case being now very sad and retired and now and then in weeping fits and sometimes in shewes of jollity and mirth so by turnes it pleased her to out-face her present misery Patience moderation and milde dealing much prevails with such But this as a Catholicon we observe in dealing with her that the more patient we were to suffer her to complaine and bemoane her selfe repeat one thing over a hundred times as shee used over and over again giving her good words using much meeknesse affability and service unto her even in her most untoward crosse carriages this got much ground upon her spirit and brought her to doe many things which no harsh crossenesse could possibly effect with her And therefore this couse was now taken not to vex her any more or urge her with perswasions to goe to Church or to doe any thing so displeasing unto her but to goe along with her spirit with patience abounding with love mercy good words and the like untill shee were convinced in judgement when they needed not to hale or pull her Duties would then come off freely For indeed this is the undoing of many poore souls in the like or any distempers to chide rate and urge them to much which is a crosse way displeasing and unprosperous yea disproportionable unto that course Christ takes whom wee should imitate not to break the bruised reed nor quench the smoaking flax and a crosse way To make judgement return unto victory In which Case Iacobs pace with his flocks with such is the best and safest way to drive them gently especially those who are with young in whom Christ is now but abreeding and forming that so he may as the Prophet speaks Isa 53 see of the travell of his soule and be satisfied And indeed such harsh spirits who are too quick with such poor souls being too nimble with them before they know their disease are but like rude Surgions or unskilfull Physitians who venter to give physick before they know the ground of the disease who many times in place of curing doe either kill or so much the more ulcer their wounds Hitherto we have seen Satan malicious A change in her occasions violent subtile various in his temptations changing shapes by all meanes striving to have overthrown this good soule abuse her judgement affections fancy and best reason to fight against her selfe notwithstanding all which the Lord miraculously preserved her was with her in and brought her through this fiery affliction to wonder and admiration Wherefore if the Reader will have a little more patience he shall see how the Lord overthrew all those strong holds which the enemy had by his wild-fire unresisted temptions and fiery darts injected in this good creature which being not presently cast forth againe as wild-fire should be thus enflamed her affections and endeavours against her selfe as in part hath been and God willing shall be related Tempta ∣ tion 1 For first he fastned this temptation upon her as his great maine Bulwork That she had sinned that great unpardonable sinne against the holy Ghost and therefore that it was in vaine for her either to use any meanes for salvation or hope for it and therefore that it were fruitlesse and in vaine for her to heare the word read pray and the like which hee wonderfull fastly had radicated in her Tempta ∣ tion 2 Hereupon hee inferred that by Gods Decree shee was a Reprobate a cast away appointed for damnation being shee was such a hard-hearted impenitent sinner not being able to repent and therefore was a treasurer up in all shee did of wrath against the day of wrath and the revelation of Gods just Judgements againsts her and therefore seeing that shee must eternally perish living for heaping up sin only for aggravation of her punishments therefore to make her selfe away the sooner the better which temptation a long time stuck fast seeming unremovable Tempta ∣ tion 3 From whence Satan made this third deduction like a Sophisticall Logitian begging the Question that therefore now it was in vaine to use any meanes at all but seeing her portion was now only in this life therefore to deny her selfe no manner of pleasures or jollity and mirth but to cast off all these sad and soure things of holy duties performing which were to no purpose now that the irrevocable Decree was past which was unchangeable And therefore if shee should bee saved shee should bee saved howsoever and that God would soften her heart and give her grace to use the meanes But that the fearefulnesse of her estate did shew hee suggested the contrary that all her endeavors would prove in vaine this stuck hard a long time Now against any of these nothing could bee fastned upon her against them which was not presently shook off again But especially in that first mentioned of the Sin against the Holy Ghost herein shee kept close the Devils counsell revealing the same at first unto none but unto Mr Dod though afterwards of her selfe three years after being in a good humor shee acquainted the Relator herewith and more also then he hath thought fit to vent abroad
as unnecessary giving him leave to publish and make known after her death so much of her Case as might in some such misery be usefull unto others After this Mr Dod at his appointed time returned having seriously pondered all her business digested the same and was joyfully welcomed of her friends though by her in a muddy strange way former tentations by that time having againe growne somewhat strong upon her when yet hee in his usuall mercifull way cheared her up encouraging her what possibly he could And so in some few dayes after fell flatly upon the businesse how to beat down and convince her erroneous opinions wherein shee was so setled and wherein shee thought her selfe most secure in her owne judgement unremoveably setled The sinne against the Holy Ghost discussed and stated The maine grand matter troubling her and quite unhooking her off from all manner of duties as hath been said was That she had sinned that unpardonable sin against the holy Ghost which shee firmly believed Whereunto Master Dod thus replyed directly crossing all her thoughts herein in the negative affirming that she neither had sinned this sinne nor was ever hitherto so qualified as to be guilty thereof which seemed unto her very strange to prove but was easily done For he shewed unto her our of Heb. 6.4 That those who commit that sin fight against their convinced enlighting having tasted the good word of God and the powers of the world to come having also tasted of the heavenly gift being made partakers of the holy Ghost who in their practise crucifie to themselves the Sonne of God afresh and put him to an open shame and trample upon the blood of the Covenant maliciously opposing the known truth in a constant course remorselesse unto the end having lived thriven under powerfull means which yet they slight maliciously and purposly oppose and persecute But that shee being still in her natural estate A strong assumption by her own confession being farre from this enlightning never having tasted of this heavenly gift nor of the powers of the world to come was never thus qualified and so had never neither could have committed this sinne so that her temptations and feares in this kinde were but meer delusions onely And for that other sort who committed this sinne without the former inward illumination and taste such as were the Scribes and Pharisees Julian the Apostate and the like who maliciously persecuted and blasphemed Christ notwithstanding that by his Doctrine and Miracles they were convinced of his Diety of this he shewed her shee could not be guilty of All she could alleadge against her selfe consisting only in a matter of thoughts which could not without action and former qualification bee that sinne or within the compasse thereof Which were only things wrapt up in that we call tentatio Foeda strange injected thoughts of God as Rom. 1.23 representing him to the fancy in abominable similitudes likening him unto the vilest and basest things which were only Satans wild fire tentations for which seeing shee even then and since abominated them being sorry for them Satan must answer for they being hers no further then as shee entertained and allowed of them And also that these thoughts being thought of and injected betwixt the top and bottome of the hill whereupon her Fathers house stood never breaking forth into any speech or action which shee was sorry for could not be any such sinne as shee imagined and therfore prayed her to content her selfe and to rest satisfied and not suffer the Devill to delude and torment her any more in this kinde All this discourse shee heard willingly without replication untill he had finished what he would say when shee being very rationall and convinced of the truth of what hee had delivered acknowledged her error and Satans delusion promising no more to entertaine any such like thoughts of that sinne A further complaint But withall shee told him that it was no matter for this though shee were free thereof yet she had other sinnes enough to damne her and was assuredly a Reprobate and cast away being shee could not love God nor any other creature being devoid of all naturall affection and given over to a Reprobate sense so as shee was most certaine that the Decree of God against her was past being that shee had no heart or power to performe any holy duty but was like a creature starke dead yea twice dead good for nothing but for hell fire wherewith shee sometimes would laugh and smile but wee must conceive that even in the midst of this laughter the heart was sad for in private not long after shee would have sore fits of weeping In vaine it was now to dispute with her Knowledge of Gods Decree denyed unto any one or perswade her in any thing untill her judgement was convinced rectified in that matter of the Decree of God For shee flung off all with seeming assurance of her knowledge being sure that the Decree of her reprobation was past of her rejection whereof she was sure and certaine Therefore this being the next strong hold to be battered down he bent in the next place all his strength this way Denying unto her that it was possible either for the Devill or any other creature to know the Decree of God either for salvation or reprobation but that this revelation came in the use of meanes God blessing the same for which cause all must use the meanes who would bee saved not medling with the Decree of God nor prying into his secrets for which then was alledged that excellent Scripture Deut. 30.12 That what they were to performe and know Was not in heaven that we should say Who shall goe up for us to heaven and bring it unto us that we may heare it and doe it Neither is it beyond the sea that thou shouldest say Who shall goe over the sea for us c. But the word is very nigh unto thee in thy mouth and in thy heart that thou mayest doe it Further hee urged that if thus much were certainly know by her he shewed her Argu ∣ ment 1 it must be by a Spirit of revelation demanding of her what spirit had revealed thus much unto her If the spirit of the Devill as it could bee no other then he was a liar and the father of lies as Christ Ioh. 8.44 speaks hee speaking of his own and not from God therefore not to believed And as the for the Spirit of God he shewed who only searches knowes and reveales unto us the deep things of God 1 Cor. 2.10 none but hee knowing the things of God not any creature This holy Spirit he shewed her had no such office assigned him of Christ in the word to be a spirit of discouragement to revealed reprobation being the Comforter appointed to lead the Saints in all Truth to reveale and tell things to come and teach us all things Ioh. 14.26 Argu ∣