onely thou an Epigram dost season With a sweete tast and relish of enditing With sharpes of sense and delicates of reason With salt of witt and wonderfull delighting Form my iudgement him thou hast exprest In whose sweet mouth hony did build her nest Epigr. 28. Ad Guilielmum Suttonum WHen breath and life through my cold miserie Did euen fayle and hope had made an end Thou Sutton did'st put breath and life in me With the sweet comforts of a faithfull friend O that I likewise might keepe thee from death With my pens life and with my papers breath Epigr. 9. NEuer so many masters any knew And so fewe gentlemen in such a crewe Neuer so many houses so small spending Neuer such store of coyne so little lending Neuer so many cosins so fewe kynde Goodmorrowes plenty good wils heard to finde Neuer so many clerkes neere learning lesse Many religious but least godlinesse Iustice is banished lawe breeds such strife And trueth and why for swearing is so rife Thus in her strength of causes vertue dieth But vice without a cause still multiplieth Epigr. 30. Ad Cacum THere was presented you an odd Libell For which you knowe Cacus you payd me well But well I knowe of me sir you had none Remember then Cacus I owe you one Epigr. 31. In Libellum LIbel all rawe with indigested spite Whose witt doth droppe inuenymde iniurie Whose pen leakes blots of spitefull infamie Which the synke of thy paper doth receite Why dost thou boast for if thou had'st don well In naughty things twere easie to excell Epigr. 32. Ad Mathonem MAtho if common liking might suffice And temprate iudgement when you do repeat Then would I praise your verses once or twise But I must rage and cry and sweare and sweat I must condemne the writers of all ages And wrong diuiner wits which were before When hauing spent and consum'de all my praises Yet you reade on and yet you looke for more Henceforth looke for no praise at your recyting Wordes are but winde i'le set it downe in writing Epigr. 33. A Wealch and Englishman meete on the way Both poore both proud full of small courtesy They fall in talke till each of them display Both their great mindes and small abilitie The wealch man from one word of discontent Of an huge quarrell tooke occasion Telling the englishman he should repent For he should fight with all his nation The english man would put vp no disgrace But said I will doe you appoint the place Epigr. 34. in Thymum THymus is so enspirde so mortifide So pure a ghost so heauenly spirituall That all things else to God he hath deny'd Feete knees hands breast face eyes lips tongue all As false religion he doth reuile it Which loues the knees or any outward part With his stinking lounges will not defile it Nor with his purest blood nor with his heart In spirit he doth ride walkes eates and drinkes In spirit he hates he rayles I worse then this He cares not what the vulgar sort do thinke Alas they knowe not of what spirit he is Neyther know I yet thinke I of an euill And feare his spirit will turne into a deuill Epigr. 35. DAreus nose when time of death drew neere So hideously did swell none could suppose What was the cause two beds prepared were One for Daneus to'ther for his nose One said it bredd a wolfe againe an other Did iudge the tympany the cause of rising Some sayde it was tormented with the mother Some with the scurvies for not exercising Being ript vp the cause of death was spied Ten thousand iestes were found wherof it died Epigr. 36. THe peasant Corus of his wealth doth boast Yet he scarse worth twise twenty pounds at most I chanc'de to worde once with this lowsie swayne He calde me base and beggar in disdaine To try the trueth hereof I rate my selfe And cast the little count of all my wealth See how much Hebrew Greeke and Poetry Latin Rhetorique and Philosophye Reading and sense in sciences profound All valued are not worth forty pounds Epigr. 37. MAtho in wealth and ease at libertye Expresseth neither witt nor honesty But is secure and idle dull and vaine His pleasures man and his sweete fortunes swayne But when he is awakt with misery With executions and pouertie When he is quite vndonne and nothing worth Then like a viper his witt crawleth foorth Epigr. 38. In Seuerum SEuerus hates my pens lycentious grace He liked not of my gadding poetry He tearmes my writing like the wildgoose race In fine he saith that all is vanity Away saith he I like not this redundance Away with him a Poet is abundance Epigr. 39. Ad Essexiacomitem IF I could turne my verse into desart Or tune my sense to thy nobilitie Great Essex then should'st thou enioy my arte And chalenge me thy Poet worthely But since I cannot equall thee with art Take thy reward out of thine owne desart Finis Libri Tertij ΕΠΙΓΡΑΜΜΑΤΩΠLiber Quartus Epigr. 1. Ad Librum suum LYe not my booke for that were wickednes Be not too idle idle though thou be Eschewe scurrilitie and wantonnesse Temper with little mirth more grauity Rayle not at any least thy friends forsake thee In earnest cause of writing shew thy witt Touch none at all that no man may mistake thee But speake the best that all may like of it If any aske thee what I doe professe Say that of which thou art the idlenesse Epigr. 2. Ad Do. Mountioy MOuntioy among the labours of my pen Which my glad muse aspireth to present To thee as worthiest of all other men Of thee as patron and high president If any had these had bin worthy best But since all are these are vnworthy least Epigr. 3. Ad Librum suum MY booke some handes in Oxford wil thee take And beare thee home and louingly respect thee And entertaine thee for thy masters sake And for thy masters sake some will reiect thee But to my faithfull friendes commend I thee And to mine enemies commend thou me Epigr. 4. Ad vtranque Acadamiam YE famous sister Vniuersities Oxford and Cambridge whence proceeds your hate Brothers rare concord do ye imitate Each greeting each with mutuall iniuries Brothers fall out and quarrell I confesse But sisters loue for it becomes you lesse Epigr. 5. Ad easdem WHy striue ye sisters for antiquitie Can not your present honour you suffice VVhy striue ye sisters for that vanitie VVhich if ye sawe as twas you would despise You must make loue loue is your surest hold Others must honour you and make you olde Epigr. 6. De sua Clepsydra SEtting mine howre glasse for a witnesse by To measure studie as the time did fly A lingring muse posseste my thinking brayne My minde was reaching but in such a veyne As if my thoughtes by thinking brought a sleepe Winglesse footelesse now like snailes did creepe I eyde my
of Bakers of all such as brewe Of Tanners of Taylers of Smithes and the rest Of all occupations that can expres'de In the yeare of our Lorde six hundred and ten I thinke for all these will be Gentlemen Epigr. 19. in Philonem PHilo if naked loue you aske of me White loue cleare loue and such as loued was Of our forefathers in simplicity Then loue and looke on me I am your glasse This cuts you off your friend must fawne flatter Nay more then this your friend must you beelie I to your face and that for no small matter But for your woorth your wirt and honesty This cuts me of the cause if you require I would not haue my friend proue me a lyar Epigr. 20. In Misum Mopsam MIsus and Mopsa hardly could agree Striuing about superioritie The text which sayth that man and wise are one Was the chiefe argument they stoode vpon She held they both one woman should become He held both should be man and both but one So they contended dayly but the the sâ—rife Could not be ended till both were one wife Epigr. 21. In Gillonem YOu which haue sorrows hiddeÌ„ bottom sounded And felt the ground of teares and bitter moâ—n You may conceiue how Gilloes heart is wounded And iudge of his deepe feeling by your owne His toothlesse wife then she was left for dead When graue and all was made recouered Epigr. 22. In Lanionem medicum PHisition Lanio neuer will forsake His golden patiente while his head doth ake When he is dead farewell he comes not there He hath nor cause nor courage to appeare He will not looke vpon the face of death Nor bring the dead vnto her mother earth I will not say but if he did the deede He must be absent lesse the corpse should bleed Epigr. 23. in Dacum DAcus hath all things that he can desire He hath fayre land and yellow goold to spare The good of which God knows he comes not nere But pickes out paine and fee deth on the care He will not warme his backe with one good coate Nor spend one penny to offend his store He will not feast his belly with a groate Hunger and he are matches and no more Heele tast no sweete of all his happinesse Belike he knowes his owne vnworthinesse Epigr. 24. OVr peruerse age doth recon least of all Of the true noble plaine and liberall And giueth honour most iniurious Vnto the base craftie and couetous What makes the good repine what wrongs the wise What is the spoyle of all fortunate vice Epigr. 25. in Timonem TImon is sicke of seuen which deadly be And yet not like to die for ought I see He hath the soggie sinn of Ale and cakes He hath the sinn of lace and fustniapes He hath the seeing sinn the heartes great'st woe And yet he hath the sinn of winken to He hath the sparrowes sinn these which follow He hath he hath the redd sinn and the yellow Epigr. 26. In Septimium SEptimius doth excell for daintie cheere His diet is olde Murton and new beere And sugred mustard and sweete vinegeere Epigr. 27. In Cophum COphus doth liue as if he could bestowe Life on his friende and life vpon his foe As if he had a life to sport and play As if he had a life to cast away As if he had change of liues and life did sound Not as one farthing of his thousand pound As if his landes were wondrous large and great And life but one small dust to that huge heape Yet life is all his goold and all his land Himselfe and all if he did vnderstand Epigr. 28. Translatum ex Martiali NEighbours I meruaile much to see your strife Since ye are so well matcht so like of life A most vile husband a most wicked wife Epigr. 29. In Lalum A Dry beame feedes the mind as Pyndar writes And quickneth reason with refined spirits But your conceipt is dull and nothing such Lalus I thinke you wett your mind to much Epigr. 30. In Castorem THe gooldsmith guildeth siluer tinn or brasse The painter paints on wood or baserstone What gooldsmith guilded goold that euer was What painter euer painted rubies none But Castor paints himselfe and thinks it good To steale away his pictures praise from wood Epigr. 31. In Lotum LOtus owes little vnto memory He will forget his purse his cloake his hat I both a good turne and an iniury His friend himselfe and more I know not what Nothing remaines of all things more and lesse To be forgotten but forgetfulnesse Epigr. 32. In Momum HEaring my short writs Momus saith of me Why should not I endite as well as he As well as I Momus so mought ye doe Rather then I should write as well as you Epigr. 33. in Vlyssem VLysses hauing scapt the ocean floood â— wise ten yeares pilgrimage in foreyn landes And the sweete deathes of Syrens tunde with blood And Cyclops iawes and Circes charming handes Comes home and seeming safe as he mistakes He steps awaie and fals in to a Aiax Epigr. 34. in Medonta TOward my martâ— Medon I will said I 〈…〉 a booke but you refused Which for your kindnesse sake I did denie 〈…〉 nde as being more abused And cause you had of both to be afraide Whether it were to paie or to be paide Epigr. 35. WIth charge of soules as Polititians say Possesse one clerke should but one benefice But without charge of soules we see how they Sticke not to lay vp fowre and seauen apiece We clerkes would keepe one liuing and no moe So you which are not clerks would keepe but two Epigr. 36. in festum TEll Festus that this mirth and iollitie These suts these feasts this daily flocking to him This gameling and this wanton luxurie This carelessenesse this free heart will vndoe him He cannot heare his wits are not his owne But his sweete fortunes whose commaund is such That Festus senses quite are ouerthrowne Since she gaue him of hers a little too much Then why aduise you him let it suffice That he doth that himselfe must make him wise Epigr. 37. In Asbestum CHlorus was greene when in his tendernesse Asbestus did contemne his littenesse Yet did he force his buds and wreake his spite Vpon his leaues before his fruite was ripe When thou bar'st fruite Chlorus as little tree Then did Asbestus pull thy fruite from thee Till time drew on which did his rage impeach And bare thy fruite on high aboue his reach Then other meanes by malice he had none To worke reuenge but hang himselfe thereon Epigr. 38. in Scillam NO enemie of Scillas can accuse him Of any wrong or villanie pretended Of any prouocation or abusing Or the least cause why they should be offended Yet Scilla hath a fault to make amendes He will abuse none but his deerest friends Epigr. 39. in Merum MErus doth reconcile Philosophie To belies want and
sweares he is nor false nor wicked Free from great faults and hath no other lett Saue this great fault he is in debt This is the greatest sinne he hath committed This is a great and hainous sinne indeede Which will commit him if he take not heede Epigr. 13. GAllus would made me heire but suddainly He was preuented by vntimely death Scilla did make me heire when by and by His health returnes and he recouereth He that entendes me good dies with his pelfe And he that doth me good hath it himselfe Epigr. 14. In Matho nem optatinum MAtho the wisher hath an ill entent But for the fact I thinke him innocent If he see ought he wisheth it straight way Wishing the night wishing he spendes the day Nor horse nor man nor wife nor boy nor maide Can scape his wish nor ought that can be said Your house your bed your board your plate your dish All he deuours tis all his with a wish He views whole fields sheep on them which stray Riuers woods hils he wisheth all away Yea witt and learning and good qualities He would not want if wishing might suffice And this the disarde Matho nothing games By wishing oft and yet he takes great paines Epigr. 15. In Mirum medicum PHisition Mirus talkes of saliuation Of Tophes and Pustules and Febricitation Who doth ingurgitate who tussicate And who an vlcer hath inueterate Thus while his Inkehorne termes he doth apply Euacuated is his ingenie Epigr. 16. SOme say that some which Colledges did found Were wicked men I grant it may be so But what are they which seeke to pull them downe Are not these wicked builders let me know How do times differ how are things discust For see their wicked do excell our iust Epigr. 17. de poëta Martiali MArtiall in sooth none should presume to write Since time hath brought thy Epigrams to light For through our writing thine so prais'de before Haue this obteinde to be commended more Yet to our selues although we winne no fame Wee please which get our maister a good name Epigr. 18. THe poore man plaines vnto a Crocodile And with true tears his cheeks he doth bedew Sir I am wrong'd and spoild alas the while I am vndone good sir some pitie shewe Then weepes the Crocodile but you may see his teeth preparde and hollow rauening iawe Then dry the poore mans teares away goes he Must rape be pitied is there such a lawe He did me wrong which robde me as you see But he which stole my tears stole more from me Epigr. 19. in Auaritiam AVarice hath an endlesse eye Attende and I will tell you why The minde the bodies good doth craue Which it desiring cannot haue The like resemblance may be made As if the bodie lou'd a shade Epigr. 20. in Cacum CAcus desired me to set him foorth O how I burne saith he O how I long And yet I cannot register his worth And why for Cacus neuer did me wrong Epigr. 21. De Typographo THe Printer when I askt a little summe Huckt with me for my booke came not nere Ne could my reason or perswasion Moue him a whit though al things now were deere Hath my conceipt no helpe to set it forth Are all things deere and is wit nothing worth Epigr. 22. In Scillam SCilla had bin in France a weeke or two When he returned home with victory Boasting of ten which he to death did do Nine in the fight the tenth but cowardly For him he smote vntrussing of his hose Alas that soldier di'de a filthy death Yet he made vp the compleat summe of those Of whose occision Scilla glorieth And by his Rapiar hilts O bloody deed Embrau'de with golde he sweares victoriously And hundred at his next returne to speede Ten him no tens an hundred more shall die But neuer he returnde nor euer will Counting more glory now to saue then kill Epigr. 23. in Caluum CAluus hath hayre neither on head or brow Yet he thanks God that wit the hath enowe The witt may stand although the hayre doe fall Tis true but Caluus had no witt at all Epigr. 24. FAustus is sicke of care the doctors say His cure and remedy must be delay While sicke consuming Faustus keeps his bedde An hundred whole men are consum'd and deade After all this Faustus recouereth I see care is a tricke to cosin death Epigr. 25. in fucantem faciem suam HE which put on a false vpon thy face Hath done that ill which was done well before Thus he hath put thy picture in thy place Making thee like thy selfe thy selfe no more Depriude of liuing comlinesse and feature Fye on thee art thou com'st to neere to nature Epigr. 26. de Adam primo homine WHen Adam couered his first nakednes With figge tree leaues he did he knew not what The leaues were good indeed but not for that God ordaind skins gainst his skins wretchednesse But gainst diseases and our inward neede To piece our life which slitting still doth passe What leafe do we not vse what herbe what grasse Their secret vertues standing vs in steede Thus in our garmentes these we cast away And yet our life doth weare them euery day Epigr. 27. In Cophum COphus on Antimonium doth plodd Beleeue me Cophus but you are too bolde To search into the secret depth of God After Potatoes of resolued golde The Paracelsians taught you this to doe And you will ferett Nature from her denne Yee'le make men liue whether they will or no. But trust me Cophus they are trustlesse men For Cophus they haue taskt you like a noddy To study th'immortalitie of the bodie Epigr. 28. THey which reade Horace Virgill and the rest Of ancient Poets all new wits detest And say O times what happy wits were then I say O fooles rather what happy men Epigr. 29. In Gallum THe good turne Gallus which you promised When I beleeuing foole doe aske of you Then you obiect your name is blemished By my reportes and more which is not true You might bin liberall as ye did boast But you are angry now with halfe the cost Epigr. 30. FLorus exceeded all men of our time So braue so pert so lust ye and so trimme But sodainly me thought he did decline So wanne so blanke so sily and so thinne I aske the cause he leads me through the streete He brings me to his house where I may see A woman fayre softe gentle and discreete Behold saith Florus what hath tamed me What is this true can such a wife doe so Then how must he be tamd which hath a shroe Epigr. 31. Epitaphium Timonis HEere I lie sealed vnder this stone Deathes loathsome prisoner lifes castaway Which when I liued was loued of none Nor louely to any as all men can say Now all men for dying doe loue me though ill I would not reuiue to loose their good will Epigr. 32. THey say the Spaniards make
But we succeding husbands can haue none Which are so wicked husbands to our owne The wife tofore which many husbands had With their soft rayment and rich iewels clad Deckt with their comely loue and costly care Tyr'de like a Princesse and without compaire VVe haue cast of from her owne blood kinne To serue a stranger and to stoope to him And she alreadie groanes as thrall indeed And we yet liuing stinke of this foule deede VVhat should the enemie do with barbrous knife Learne of the husband to torment the wife Wolues to your selues vipers to your own mother And caterpillers eatinge one an other Epigr. 32 HOw deerly doth the simple husband buy His wiues defect of will when she doth dye Better in death by will to lett her giue Then let her haue her will while she doth liue Epigr. 33. De Poeta Martiali MArtiall in Rome full thirtie yeares had spent Then went he home was not that banishment Epigr. 34. In Laetum LEtus in vertuous manners may excell But what neede hath he so rath to be good His strength of body which he knowes to well His life forbids him and his youthly blood Thus vice and pleasure haue our strength prime And vertue hath the leauings of them both She hath the orts and parings of our time Then when euen sinne our carion course doth loath We may be good but must be aged surst Thus we are good neuer or at our worst Epigr. 35. Epitaph Iohannis Sande WHo would liue in others breath Fame deceiues the dead mans trust Since our names are chang'de in death Sand I was and now am dust Epigr. 36. De puero balbutiente ME thinkes tis pretie sport to heare a childe Rocking a worde in mouth yet vndefild The tender racket rudely playes the sound Which weakely banded cannot backe rebound And the soft ayre the softer roofe doth kisse With a sweete dying and a pretie misse Which heares no answere yet from the white ranke Of teeth not risen from their corall banke The alphabet is searcht for letters soft To trye a worde before it can be wrought And when it slideth forth is goes as nice As when a man doth walke vpon the yce Epigr. 37. SVch was my griefe vpon my fatall fall That all the world me thought was darke withall And yet I was deceiued as I knowe For when I proou'de I found it nothing so I shewde the Sunn my lamentable sore The Sunne did see and shined as before Then to the Moone did I reueale my plight She did deminish nothing of her light Then to the stars I went and lett them see No not a starre would shine the lesse for me Go wretched man thou seest thou art forlorne Thou seest the heauēs laugh while thou dost mourn Epigr. 38. YE Cookes and Pothecaries be my friend For ye of all my booke dares not offend I made him for the homely countries tast They loue not spice they vse not feede on past If he haue salt enough then let him go You haue no neede to put in pepper to Epigr. 39. Ad Do. Mountioy IF in these naked lines perhaps be ought Great Lord which your conceipt or sense may fit Then had that dy'de and perisht from your thought Had not audacious neede preserued it If neede haue well done I am glad therfore But I be seech you lett her do no more Epigr. 7. ad Lectorem IF my bookes easie of digestion be Thanke not my matter reader but thanke me How many verses haue I cancelled Howe many lompes of meaning seasoned I suffer Epigrams to sprowte forth when I vse mine arte and prune them with my pen. For he that will write Epigrams indeed Must vse to wring the meaning till it bleede Epigr. 41. in Sabellum BIting Sabellus hereat takes offence Because I lay not open all my sense All must be plaine and nothing I must hide There must be notes at ende and notes by side There must be nothing fett and nothing strayned The reader must delighted be not payned But I am of an other minde for why Should not he take some paines a well as I Epigr. 42. OVr vice is runne beyond all olde mens sawes And farre authenticall aboue our law S. And scorning vertues safe and goolden meane Sits vncontrolde vpon the high extreame Circes thynne monsters painted out the hue Of fayned filthinesse but ours is trewe Our vice puts downe all prouerbes and all theames Our vice excels all fables and all dreames Epigr. 43. WHē books poore men they their parish burned These their low houses raz'd ouerturned Are driuen to seeke changing their olde repayre They in the ground these dwelling in the ayre When sport is made of damned fornication And vsurie an honest occupation When dull cramde grosse and swollen gluttony Scornes wholsome temperance with leaden eye When pride like polling miller sits vpon The bated gryst of poore religion When holy tithes the highest callings price Make iags for coates and fuell for the dice May we not well O times on manners cry This were an ease it were no remedie Epigr. 44. In Brillum BRillus tolde such a tale as neuer man Did heare or thinke of since the world began Tw'as not of murther strange nor filthinesse Nor open wrong nor secret wickednesse Nor legend tale nor ancient poets fable Nor such as parasites do tell at table It was nor monstrous lie nor pleasant fiction Nor of affirming nor of contradiction All writers trauellers merchants are to seeke Yea Iohn deuiser neuer tolde the like It was a tale of oaths abhominable God was the iest and our dread Christ the fable Epigr. 45. LAetus did in his mistresse quarrell die Quintus was slayne defending of the lie Germanus in his friendes defence did fall Sakellus died striuing for the wall Merus did spend his life vpon a iest Sanmus lost it at a dronken feast Merus at Sundaies wake reueng'de the wrong Of his bull dogge vntill he lay along What sayst thou now contemn'de religion Vice hath her Saynts and martyrs thou hast none Epigr. 46. In Porum BItus desired Porus of his grace That in his seruice he might haue a place He sayde he was of of honest occupation He could no lye nor false dissimulation He knewe no wicked meanes to fill his purse But Porus answred he likes him the worse Epigr. 47. De Hominis Ortu sepultura NAture which head long into life doth thring vs with our feet forward to our graue doth bring vs What is lesse ours then this our borrowed breath We stumble into life we goe to death FINIS Printe Loade stone Gunne Herlilques