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A59165 Apokolokyntosis. Or A mockery upon the death and deification of Claudius Cæsar Written in Latine by Lucius Annæus Seneca the philosopher. Imprimatur, Junii 17. 1664. Roger L'Estrange. Seneca, Lucius Annaeus, ca. 4 B.C.-65 A.D. 1664 (1664) Wing S2508A; ESTC R221003 10,457 27

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Months of Iuly and October and thou know'st how much misery I endured in sitting to hear the Lawyers plead night and day into whose hands hadst thou fallen though thou beest very stout thou wouldst rather have cleans'd again the Augean Stables so much more dung did I rake up Well said Hercules I am content to be thy Patron because I will and then brake into the Assembly of Demi-gods who were consulting about Claudius who murmuring at it said It is no wonder thou rushest into the Court no place is shut from thee But tell us now what God thou would'st have him An Epicurean he cannot be for he has no employment himself nor gives any to others A Stoick God how can he be as Varro says round and perfect having neither head nor prepuce 'T is true he hath something of a Stoick for we see he hath neither brains nor head yet he might justly have desired this favour of Saturn whose feast he celebrated all the year long But Caius Caesar would never endure it in regard he sought what he could to kill Lucius Syllanus his Son in Law whom he condemned of Incest And why I pray Because he desir'd that his Sister being one of the sprightfull'st women in the City and was therefore called Venus should be styl'd Iuno He would not seem to tolerate Incest at Rome though it were permitted in the half degree at Athens and in the whole at Alexandria because as he said at Rome Mice lick Mil-stones This man would teach us to make crooked things straight What he does in his Chamber we know not but he searches all the corners of heaven and would be made a God He thinks it a small matter to have a Temple in Britain where the Barbarians give him Divine honour erecting as it were an Altar to his eternal Dominion At length Iupiter finding the matter agitated with confus'd interlocutions among inferiour Gods advis'd them to dispute no longer and wish'd every one that had interest in that Assembly to declare his opinion I Fathers Conscript saith he have permitted you to deliver your judgements in this sublime Court which you have made no better then a Thatch'd house I will have the ancient discipline observ'd This man whatsoever he is what will he think of us Claudius being withdrawn first Father Ianus was ask'd his opinion who being very subtle was made Afternoon-Consul in the Calends of Iuly and alwayes looks both before and behind at once He having been conversant in Courts of Justice was very Eloquent and spake so much that the Scribe of the Court could not set down all and therefore I do not repeat it lest I should put what he said into other words He spake much of the Greatness of the Gods and that so high honour ought not to be given promiscuously It was wont to be counted a great matter to be made a God you have lessened the reputation of it And therefore said he that I may not in my sentence look so much upon the person as the matter I advise that none henceforth be made a God that eats the fruits of the earth or whom the fertile earth in any sort nourishes Whosoever contrary to this Act shall be made feign'd or be painted a God let him be thrown to Hobgoblins and at the next Prize to be play'd by the new Fencers let him be soundly whipt The next that delivered his judgement was the Son of Vica Pota who was also design'd a small Bankier Consul formerly he subsisted by Traffique and in petty Cities sold Jars of Oyle Hercules stept handsomely to him and rounded him in the ear He then said Since divine Claudius was near in blood to divine Augustus who no less then he did sollicit the Deification of his Grandmother Augustae and did indeed far excel all mortal men in wisdome and that it is expedient for the common good to have one who can with Romulus devour boyling turneps My judgement is that Claudius be made a God in as ample manner and with as good right as others were made before him and that this miracle be added to the Metamorphoses of Ovid. The opinions were various and Claudius seemed to have most votes For Hercules who saw his own iron in the fire ran up and down from one to another saying Envy not me the honour of this work I am concern'd in it when you have occasion I shall requite the courtesie one hand washes another Then stood up sacred Augustus to deliver his opinion which he did with very much Eloquence Fathers Conscript said he I call you to witnesse that since I was made a God I have not spoken a word here I always mind my owne businesse But I can no longer dissemble nor contain my sorrow which my modesty makes greater For this cause I made peace at Land and Sea furnish'd the City with Laws and adorn'd it with stately Buildings What to say grave Fathers I cannot tell no words are sufficient to d●clare my indignation I must make use of the expression of Messala Corvinus an eloquent man He hath cut in sunder the Majesty and Jurisdiction of the Empire This man Fathers Conscript that seems to us scarce able to fright away a fly has chopt off mens heads with as much facility as a dog eats tripes But how can I relate his many cruelties I have not leisure to lament publick calamities when I look upon my own domestick miseries Those therefore I will omit and these rehearse Though Phormea understands little Greek yet I doe and remember the Proverb Indignation hardly grows old He whom you see lurking so many years under my name in requital hath kill'd two Julia's my Nephew's Daughters the one with the sword the other with famine and also my Nephew's Nephew Lucius Syllanus Consider Jupiter the cause being so wicked and which concerns you near whether this man shall remain with us Tell me divine Claudius why thou didst condemn any of these of either sex without hearing or taking cognizance of the cause Has this been usually done in heaven Certainly it was never done We know that Jupiter who hath reign'd here so many years only broke the thigh of one Vulcan and taking him by the foot threw him out of heaven and being angry with his Wife hung her between heaven and earth to punish her But did he kill her Thou slew'st Messalina to whom I was great Vncle as well as to thee Thou wilt say thou know'st not The curse of the Gods light on thee so much more shameful it is that thou know'st not then that thou didst it This man ceased not to prosecute Caius Caesar after his death he slew his Father in law this his Son in law Caius Caesar would not permit the Son of Crassus to be styled the Great This man restor'd his name and took off his head He slew in one house Crassus the Great Scribonia Tristonia and Assario all Nobles But Crassus such a fool as he