guilt and obligation to eternall punishment and lives with us in Hell to keepe us everlastingly living or dying for I cannot tell whether it be life or death to live in nothing but torment and dead to nothing else but happinesse I beseech you thinke Now what will be Then and let the thought of that Thâ—n teach you how to prize the Prophets Now for Ex hoc mâ—mento pendet aeternitas the eternall Condition of your soules depends upon it O now for the Tongue of Angells to perswade you but miserable man that I am I check that holy ambition knowing that to be so excellent that I cannot attaine unto it but such as I have I give unto you and beseech you as you vallue the joyes of Heaven as you dread the paines of Hell by those Soules of yours to redeeme which cost Christ himselfe his blood and by that precious blood the priâ—e of your soules redemption by the love of that God who was before all 〈◊〉 lasting beyond all time being the Eternity it self to make a true use of this time Now O let not this day passe with out some reformation let not this dayes Sun set and the wrath of God still upon us but draw neere unto him now so neere that you may kisse the sonn for if his wrath be kindled yea but a little Blessed are all they that put their trust in him Let me expostulate with the prophet doth not the Suâ—llow and the Crane know their time yet poore man for whom these were made knowes it not Happily sometimes we feele Agripâ—as ague some motions and groouings of repentance but we are still at a stand for a Conuenient season and so the fit goes off for the soules ague Contrarie to that of the body beginns with a hott fitt and ends in a Cold Truely though no time be amisse in respect of God for at what time soever a sinner doth repeâ—t that is the acceptable time that is the day of saluation yet Esaw's teares when the time was past the Virgâ—ns knocking when the dores were shut these shew what Solomon said that there is a time for every thing if we loose that time we shall weepe and knock as foolishly as they Opportunitie is it self a favour and t' is a second favour to discerne it but the greatest is to lay hold fit and from the want of these spring the causes of our Procrastination which is the common error of repentance I beseech you marke it eyther our Ignorance in not discerning the time or our Negligence that when wee doe discerne it do not yet embrace it This Christ laments with bitter teares and of that God himself complaines Ier 8. verse 7. Even the Storke in the ayre the Turtle the Crane the Sâ—allow observe the time of their comming but my people knoweth not the Iudgement of the Lord God useth not thus to complaine but in â—reat cases to slight his so graciously offered opportunity he accompts no triviall matter T' is a point of the greatest consideration in all Christianitie else God would not have complain'd nor Christ so passonatly have bemoaned Ierusalem for the losse of it O saith he If thou hadst knowne that this day had bin the day of thy visitation and what then there he breakes off the teares comming so fast that he was forc't to weepe out the rest of his meaning O those teares silently tell us what the losse of time is for therefore did he weepe then because they wept no sooner But mee thinkes I heare flesh and blood begin to pleado May I not lay by the consideration of my repentance a little I am yong and healthy and gladly would I befriend my youth with the pleasures of the world a little longer and then I will turne to God with all my hart O be not deceaved a suddaine death may snatch us hence and send the soule into the other world with all our sins upon it and what the condition of that soule is I dread to tell you But suppose the best that Death send his harbinger by some languishing sicknesse kindly gives us warning of our departure yet lett me tell you that infinite are the perplexities which disturbe the repentance of the death bed Our owne paines will disquiet us and make us roare for uery anguish and so to cry to God is rather passion then repentance Can we be fitt to turne unto God when we can scarce turne our selues in our bedds the thought of the poore widdow we shall leave behind us will make the soule forget her spowse and swetest bridgrome Christ the feare of death will horribly affright us and a trembling dread so over whelme us that fearing to die we think not how to dye and so loose the life of the blessed the enemie will then raise Deuils in our consciences and present our thoughts with a sad Idea of hell and shew us all the torments we have deserued torments so intollerable so immarcessible that the damned soule would be glad to be but a Deuill and thinke it a high preferment to be nothing And to shew fâ—ll malice in the conclusion at our very departure he will shew us all our sinns in such a shape that despairing we may grow mad and die Tell me then is this a fit time for repentance Is the death bed a conuenient Altar to offer up our bodyes a living saâ—rifice and then to when we lie a dying O God giâ—e us grace to thinke of this betimes and lett me add that the Conuersion of our last time is seldom free but inforc't by the feare of hell but in that feare there is no loue and with out loue there is no hope of heaven To feare him onely for his iudgements and not as sonns is to find him a Iudge and not a Father Besides the actions of vertue performed then are not of that vallue with God as those which come to him wing'd with cheerefullnesse in our health and prospeâ—ity What great mercy is it to pardon an enemy when we have no power to hurt him or what great charity to distribute ouâ— goods when we cannot keepe them Alas in this estate Peccatâ—te dimiserunt non tu illa thy sinnes forsake thee Thou dost not forsake thy sinnes And let me argue the unsoundnesse of late repentance by the usuall experience of sick men who make protâ—tations of great contrition but restored to health returne to sinne as the dogge tâ— his vomit and so as they mend grow worse But sinne I know is full of flattery and now I call to mind the Thâ—ife on the Crosse was not he saved the very last hower of his life though he scarcely ever thought on God before was not he prefer'd from the Crosse to Paradice without the trouble of more râ—pentance Vnhapily argued but shew me such another example and sinne on till you lye a dying and truely that soules hardly put to it that hath no better shift then to make that a ground
of presumption which onely is a helpe in despaire This was a particular act of Christ as Saint Augustine notes and so can make no generall rule if a Prince pardon one malefactor at the place of execution a thousand others dye without it This was to display the power of Christ on the Crosse then in his greatest infirmity that when he would not save himselfe from a temporall death yet he would save him from an eternall death 'T was a rare thing that a Theefe should confesse Christ when his neerest friends forsooke him and the reward of this was as rare as his goodnesse Truly the point is of such consequence I know not how to leave it and thereforâ— let me inferr further that this late repentance must needs be very dangerous when as repentance at the best withall advantages of life is a worke of the greatest difficulty why then should we post off that to the last minute for which all our life is to little Converse with a soule newly loos'd from â—infull slaveâ—ie and it will tell you that She sayl'd in a calme while she went the Devills voyage but when once she begun to thinke of returning home and leave that Sea so full of Syâ—ens then the storme arose temptations multiplyed like the Waves every billow striving which should first devoure her And truly I have spent many thoughts upon that storie of him in the 9. of Marke possest with a dumbe and deafe spirit and I thinke it wonderfully remarkable that the Devill would neither heare nor speake whilst he had a quiet possession of that body but when Christ went about to turne him out of dores charging him to goe out of him then the mercy of Christ to the man wrought an unpleasing miracle on the Dâ—vills for the deafe heard presently and the dumbe spake and now forced to depart he tore and rent him and tormented him into such a trance tha◠〈◊〉 spectators thought him dead 〈◊〉 heare the Wise man in this My sonne when thou 〈◊〉 come to the service of God prepare thy soule for temptations though perhaps we feele not the Devill in us before yet when holy resolutions come upon us then he begins to strive and struggle presently And would it not make one afraid to pray with David Creatâ— in mâ—e O Lord a cleane heart humanum dico I speake now afâ—er the manner of men when as the â—ouse iâ— the Gospell was no sooner swept but â—ight Dâ—â—vills rusht in at once but the Text there gives the reason they found it empty but if God be in thy heart if the Trinity keepe house there wee neede feare no Devillish intrusions But to prosequte the point in hand See it figured out in Pharaoh who when he found in the Children of Israel a disposition to depart then his boyling rage ran over in the multiplication of afflictions If Saint Paul have a motion of the law of the spirit presently the Divill urgeth his statute law in the law of his members to resist the law of the spirit you see then repentance is not without strife and conflict it stirr's up warre in the soule and blessed is he who in this strife can get the Victorie and I hope we shall thinke it a hard worke ere we have done it will be a signe we are the neerer to it Much more might be added to this purpose The Fathers are full of it but I le shutt up the point with some breife collections out of the conversion of Saint Augustine in the eight booke of whose confessions 1. and 2. Chap we find his flesh and spirit in a dreadfull conflict God drawing on one side the world the flesh and the Divill pulling him backe on the other In this Agonie of temptation he repaires to Simplicianus a learned and a devout man then to Saint Ambrose these were his Councell of warre in these assaults of his soule But after consultation with these he was more furiously encountered then before The Divill it seemes was loath to loose this great witt Then he retyred him selfe to privacie and then Saith he what did I not say against my selfe how did I beate and whipe my Soule forward to make her follow thee O God but like a â—ullen jade she hung backe loath to leave her old path of sinne Heere insued a grievous conflict and then some truce made for a time he goes into an Orchard ' I le not dispute the conveniencie of that place but if Saint Augustine come off heere he will doe more then Adam did But heere all his Carnall pleasureâ— past begun to Court him Dimittesne nos a momentâ— issto non erimus tecum ultra in aeternum wilt thou forsake us and must we part with thee now for ever And then as the same Father tells us the Devill bayted his hooke with all his sinfull pleasures past and truely t' was doubtfull but he might then have swallowed some of them but contrary at the thought of these a suddaine tempest of teares shrow'rd from his eyes and whilst he was thus weeping and talking to God in deepe contrition of spirit he heard a voyce from heaven Tolle lege Tolle lege Take up and reade Then opening his booke the first Scripture that presented it selfe was that of Saint Paul Not in chambering and wantonnesse c. Which hit Saint Augustines disease right and then denying all worldly lusts he accomplish't his finall Conversion and in exultancie of Spirit sends forth his soule in thanksgiving O Lord I am thy Servant thou hast broken my bonds in sunder let my heart and my tongue praise thee O Lord and let my bones crie unto thee and say who is like unto thee O Lord and say thou to me I am thy salvation And now to summe up this Repentance is a worke of warre many assaults stâ—ong resistance It wants first councell then grace to follow it it requires private an often conferrence with God by prayer an over-maâ—â—ering force of zeale to spurre the sluggish soule forward a contempt of former pleasures which will now againe flatter us for entertainement It requires â—â—ouds of teares and the voyce of God to call us though not thus miraculously yet by the still voyce of his spirit and all this considered now tell me whether it be so easie a thing to repent that it should be left to the last Whether we can retreate backe to God in an hower that have strayed froâ— him all our lives whether a few dropps at the end of our dayes are sufficient to cleanse that soule to whom sin hath contributed the staines of many yeares No no And therefore for this shall every man that is godly make his prayer unto thee in a time when thou mayst be found but in the great water flouds they shall not come nigh tâ—ee Now then doubtlesse is our time to seeke and I pray God we be not neere our time not to find The waters of afflâ—ction are risen indeed the flâ—â—ds
away from such a sight if there were but any way to turne And if so God knowes wee must runne away from our selves and unlesse we runne away from our selves wee shall run from all that is God's except his judgements and those we cannot scape unlesse we turne from our selves by repentance we shall turne from God by dispaire and that 's the worst turning O whether then shall they be turned that will not turne to the Lord Truly I am loth to tell you David will doe it for me The wicked shall be turned into hell and all the people that forgâ—t God But Quo me vertam ut convertar ad te Domine is Saint Bernards question Lord which way shall turne that I may turne to thee for thou art every where Supra â—n infra ad dextram an ad sinistram shall I turne upward or downeward to the right hand or to the left All these waies we have gone from God and therefore all these waies let us returne First let us returne upward by raising our soules from earth to heaven esteeming all things but drosse and â—ung to those treasures which are above Then let 's tuâ—â—e dowâ—ewards by descending low into our soules in horror and humiliâ—tion for our sinnes acknowledging it were just with God to cast us into the bottomlesse pit and in expression of this humility to 〈◊〉 with Iobe on the Dunghill to lye with David on the earth nay with the Primitive Christians to lye under the earth by strowing ashes on our heads God himselfe was humbled disdaine not then to walke the path that hee hath troden wee cannot turne to God better then in his owne way Humiliare apprehendisti saith Saint Bernard bee but humbled and thou hast him Turne next upon the right hand in the true use of prosperity imploy the blessings of God the right way and if with the prâ—digall we have spent our portion let 's returne to our father Specially if we have wasted our stocke of Grace nothing left but the miserable inheritance of wanting it and a snatch now and then with the swine the proper punishment of our sensuality O then 't is high time to returne he hath Shoes he hath a Robe he hath a Ring Shoes to stay at home in and wander this way no more a Robe of righteousnesse that shall cover all our sinnes a Ring which shewes our wandring hath beene circular and that wee are now come in where we went out And by this Ring to testifie that our soules are married to our Saviour for ever never to part againe Lastly we must turne ad sinistram to the left hand by a willing patience to endure afflictions Christ was rayl'd on despised spited on and beaten and wounded and all for our transgressions and shall we repine at our iust punishment Heare but Bonaventur's passion in this point Nolo viuere sine Vulnerecumte videam vulneratum O my god my wounded God as long as I see thee wounded I â—will never liue with out a wound Crist's Crosse is the Christians inheritance and therefore it is obseruable that he bare it not all the way himselfe but part of the way Simon caried it for him we have and shall keepe an interest in this to the world's end O disturbe not the joy of the Martyrs by shunning Christian sufferings Make not the Confessors blush in heaven to behold our tergiversations But let us march barefoot through the path that leades to Heaven though the way be strow'd with thornes go through fire water Goe upon the point of swords Nay passe through hell it self if that were the way to heaven any thing any thing for Christ and if any of us have beene apt to recoyle from our faith for any feare of danger let us now turne to him in a willingnesse to endure the worst this will be a brave Conversion and a true testimony that we do not turne only Complementally but Cordially without heart And indeed the Prophet makes that the condition of our Conversion we must turne In câ—rde with ouâ—heart a Corporall Conversion will not advantage us God regards not much the outside of the platter I doubt not Herodias charger was faire and cleane without but there was bloud Murther within it If revenge and mallice thirst of ruine more then reformation lurke within our hearts for all our cunning complying in the outside of Religion wee doe but offer to God Iohn Baptists head in a platter In the choice of friends we desire hartines let 's then measure our duty to God by our own desire If we should unbowell our selves and pull out our own hearts and give them to God a sacrifice for our sinnes it were to little But God requires a cheaper sacrifice that we would turne to him with the affections of our heart and shall we not doe that O yes I know you 'le say you will and Iâ—le put you to your tryall presently Can you first but take off your heart from the things of this world and make your treasure in Heaven Could you be content now if God should require it to sell all you have and give to the poore would you not begin to shrug and with the young man in the Gospell gâ—e away sorrowfull Could you be content now to sit downe and wash all your servants feete yet Christ did it Could you be content to kill your only son and make a burnt offering of him yet Abram did it did it in his willingnesse to doe it did it though he did it not Nay more could you give your only sonne to your enemies to your enemies to kill him and yet that death rightly apply'd to save the Murtherers yet God him selfe did it Once more could you be Crucified and revil'd and mockt and wounded have your hands and your feete peirc't so that the Iron should enter into your soule and in the midst of all this pray heartily to your Father to forgive your tormentors Yet Christ did it Are you not startled now O Lord who is sufficient for these things I see I must descend lower Can you pray fervently and send your heart up to Heaven in desire of mercy Are you sorrie when you thinke upon your sinnes and doe you thinke upon them Nay more and that 's lesse when you finde a defect of these can you heartily wish you could performe them If you finde that you do not greive sufficiently for your sinnes can you grieve hartily that you cannot grieve Well if but so this is a hearty turning and God accepts it But heer 's one Condition more it must be in toto Corde with all the heart that is with all the foure affections of the hart First that we love him so that we love nothing else but for him Secondly that we feare him and no other no not those that kill the body Thirdly that we make him the ioy of our harts and Lastly to sorrow for nothing so much as that by sinne we have
is good councell that one gives us Omnia ista contemnito quibus corpore solutus non indigebis Timely despise those things in the body of which thou hast no need out of the body despise and deferre all other things as unworthy the expence of a moment but thy repentance put not off from day to day do that Now least perhaps you do it never And sure I am that the Devill hath no greater pollicy to circumvent us then by benumming of our zeale by this hanging weights upon our soules by the delay of our repentance and I dare be peremptory to conclude that more perish this way then any other For the Devill can worke on few so farre as to perswade them that they never neede Turne to God at all but alas who doth he not endanger by delaying it Saint Augustine found this in himselfe as he tels us in the Eight Booke of his confessions Chap. 12. For there finding the Devill flattering his soule with perswasions to delay his repentance at that time when he was most resolved to performe it he had much strife in himself but knowing that now the Divill had no other Engine to batter his soule withall so much was his resolution for the maine strengthned by assisting grace and knowing the Divill's plot by this procrastination was onely to bind him faster in the custome of his sinne Now at last he violently breakes the snare and complaines and cryes bitterly to his God Vsque quo domine quam diu quam diu cras cras quare non modo quare non hac hor a est finis tâ—rpitudinis meae Oh my God saith he how long wilt thou suffer me thus How long shall I say to morrow to morrow why should I not doe it now and this minute end that filthynesse of life which otherwise will betray me to a life of woe for ever But beside the example of this godly Sainct give me leave to present you with the reasons why we should Now without any delay turne to our God First because by delaying our repentance sin is so fortified by custome and continuance that every day drives the nayle in further till 't is hard to be removed and so our conversion becomes a task of greater difficulty Againe the longer we continue in our sinnes the more God calls backe his grace and assistance from us so that the bancke breaking which did defend us the full streames of temptation breake in and overflow us Thirdly By continuance sinne takes deeper rooting and so the weede which had but little fastning before requires more strengh and violence to pluck it up Lastly all the good motions and inclynations of our wills by the strength and growth of sin are more infeebled That plant pines where elder stronger weâ—ds attract all the moisture Passions grow bold where reason dares not stirre against a custome When sinne shall be fast rooted in the habit of it when the Divill shall be neere to assault and God farre from assisting O how diffiâ—ult will our conversion be He that but standâ— in the way of sinners is in a posture of to unhappy constancy he that goes on thrives to fast in that trade which will undoe him and is never no true a proficient as when he goes backward but if once it come to sitting in the seate of the scornfull quasi ad hoc vacans as Saint Augustine glosseth that place having nothing else to doe but to sinne To sit at ease upon the Stoole of wickednesse and imagine mischeife as a law this is to give sinne a cushion which is loath enough to rise from the uneasiest constancie Saint Augustine Commenting on that miracle of Iesus in raysing Lazirus from the grave when he had beene dead foure dayes searcheth the reason why Iesus begun that worke with a Prologue of teares why he groaned and troubled himselfe so much when as he rais'd others with facility without those saddâ—r Prefaces and from the Consideration of this extracts this mortall Divinity That there are foure degrees of a sinner corresponding to the foure dayes of Lazarus his interment The First is a voluntary Delectation the second is Consent the third is Accomplishment the fourth is the Custome and Continuance of sinne and he that hath layne out these foure dayes in the grave of sin buried thus is hardly raised to life againe saith that Father No lesse then a miracle can call backe such a man he must have teares and sights and groanes inward trouble and consternation and when these are growne to perfection the dead man is rais'd indeed And though I will not conclude as some have done that Lazarus thus rais'd dyed no more yet sure I am that from this spirituall resurrection no death of sinne shall relap's us and therefore Lazarus must leave off his grave clothes and be unbound forsaking all relations to the grave to shew that those very sinnes being dead that killed him he lives by their mortality Saint Augustine Lib. 6. de Civitâ—t Dei cap. 10. makes mention of an old Comedian a constant actor in those Comedyes which the blinde Idolaters of those times instituted to the honour of their false Gods that he was so innamored of the applaus the people gave him that playing for the Gods he acted all as for men but being old and forsaken of his usuall troope of auditors he would crawle to the Capitoll and feebly act his Comedyes before the Statues of his false Gods doing all as he said then for the Gods nothing for men And do we not act our parts thus when we dedicate the first fruits of our time to our own sensuallity give God in whom we live but the gleanings of our lives Beginning then to serve God when feeble age hath made â—s unapt for the service of sin Never trembling in the sense of Gods wrath nor shaking in any thing but our palsie Are we then fit to run the path of Gods Commandements when we cannot goe without a staffe And truely we doe not unfitly to take the helpe of more leggs to carry us out of the world then we had to bring us into it who by a long life have contracted a greater burthen of sinne upon us Then only to cease from beholding vanity when we have not faculty enough left to see to frequent the house of God with deafe eares Then onely to come to heare when with Davids idolls we have Eares only not to Heare Not to sin because of the innabâ—lity of age is impotency not innocency for the taynt habit of our youthfull sins remaine though the act be wanting O miserable condition of sinne never to grow old not in Age it selâ— Never to dye whilst we live when we can do nothing else to be able to do that Strange power of impotency to be able to do nothing but sinne and stranger life of sinne that lives in us onely to kill us alive and lives when we are dead in the