in some measure bethink my self and consider my latter End Lord I have reason to conclude that few Sands remain in my Glass to run With what Astonishment Anguish and Trouble may I review my Life past not one Thought Word or Action but needs a Pardon I blush to see how vile I have been and if I cannot bear the Scrutiny of my own Conscience how shall I abide thy severe Trial who hath kept an exact Account of all my Sins and Offences A numberless Number of Sins may be charged upon me which I confess I have been guilty of To whom shall I betake my self for Relief and Mercy but to thee O my gracious God for that I have heard that the God of Israel is a merciful God that he is slow to Anger and plenteous in Mercy that he doth abundantly pardon and forgive the Sins Offences and Provocations of his poor Creatures and therefore as I would not presume so I dare not despair Lord I fly from the Throne of thy Justice to the Throne of thy Mercy and humbly implore Pity Pardon and Compassion for thy Son's sake Magnify thy Grace in pardoning me though my Sins have abounded let thy free Grace superabound Blot out all my Sins out of the Book of thy Remembrance and let my Name be written in the Book of Life Let me be meet for the Inheritance of the Saints in Light when this earthly Cottage shall crumble to Dust. Let me be admitted to that Building an House not made with Hands eternal in the Heavens Let not me though unworthy be excluded from thy Presence Look on me in and through thy well-beloved Son in whom only thou art well pleased and for his sake be reconciled to me a vile Wretch By his Stripes let me be healed I have nothing to plead for my self only the Satisfaction of my Blessed Saviour on whom alone I rely for Pardon and Life Give me some undeniable Evidence that I do belong to the Election of Grace and that within a little while I shall be released from this Body of Sin and Death and shall be made perfectly blessed in a full Injoyment of thee to all Eternity Let me have some comfortable Hopes and Foretaste of a blessed Immortality to sweeten my Passage through and out of this World I am hastning and posting apace into an endless Eternity O that I were ready for my Appearance at thy Bar. Ah Lord if my Judg be not my Advocate with what Dread and Astonishment must I needs think of thy Tribunal where I must appear before a Heart-searching and a Sin-revenging God! There is not one Sin in my whole Life but is seen to thine all-seeing Eye and is all naked and open to thee Lord I would humbly beg that my Sins though many and great may all be pardoned and forgiven Many horrid Sinners have been received to Mercy and though my Sins are of a Crimson and Scarlet Dye yet the Blood of an All-sufficient Saviour can wash them white He is able and willing to save all those that come to God through him and he ever lives to make Intercession for them Help me by Faith to lay hold on this Redeemer who came into the World on this very Errand to save poor Sinners and reconcile them to God If so I dare not I will not despair yet Lord I beg I may not presume Help me humbly to cast my self prostrate at thy Feet and implore thy Heavenly Benediction Bless me even me in turning me away from all my Sins let them never separate between thee and my poor Soul Let them all be remitted and then it will be as if they had never been committed In my last and sorest Agonies let me see thou art reconciled to me Be with me till I die and when I die and when this World can yield me no Help Comfort or Support let me find it all in thee I know thy Presence can sweeten all the Troubles of this Life and Death it self Then let me not be dismayed at that last and great Enemy When I pass thorow the Valley and Shadow of Death I will fear no Evil for thou wilt be with me O Lord I beg thou wouldst not then be a Terror to me Thou art my Hope in the Day of Evil Help me then to hold up my Head with Comfort hoping my Redemption draweth nigh Let not this World have such possession of my Heart and Affections as to make me unwilling to dislodg and go hence when thou callest me off the Stage of this Life Let the last Scene of my Life be the best part of my Days Let me honour thee by doing thy Will and submitting to whatever thou my God shalt think fit to lay on me Help me to bear patiently thy afflicting Hand either Sickness or worldly Crosses or Death it self Let me not dare to murmur grumble or complain when Death looks me in the Face Let me not be too much daunted startled and affrighted at its Approach Thousands and ten thousands have gone through that dark Passage and shot that Gulph and there is no escape for any of the Children of Adam they that have deserved Death Eternal have no cause to grumble at Death Temporal especially if it be unstung nay then there 's Cause of Triumph for it is an Entrance into Life and Messenger to Glory therefore I hope and firmly believe and trust that that God who hath conducted so many safe through those dark Regions will not leave my poor Soul in its last Conflicts PAPER X. I Sensibly find my outward Man perish and decay but how comfortable would it be to me if I could as easily perceive the inward Man to be renewed day by day This Earthly Tabernacle is tottering and e're long will tumble down but in what plight is the poor Soul that now inhabiteth this ruinated Cottage What Provision hath it made against that Day when it must be turned out hath it got an Interest in and a Title to an enduring Substance a House above eternal in the Heavens This Life of mine is but a Vapour it appeareth but for a little while and then vanisheth away Lord teach me to number my Days that I may know how frail I am This outward Man is daily consuming wasting perishing and decaying and shall I be careless negligent remiss and unconcerned about my future State how it will go with me hereafter in the other World Though my bodily Strength abate yet let the inward Man be renewed every Day and wax stronger and stronger When the Comforts of this Life are as Iob saith of the White of an Egg unsavory have no Relish and are no Satisfaction to me let me have Comforts and Cordials that this World knoweth not of even the Light of thy Countenance and that will put Gladness into my Heart more than all the Treasures and Pleasures of this vain World Whatever thou deniest me deny me not thy self to be my God and Portion and let me have an
invidious Death O why so soon Why must her Night come e're sh 'as ended Noon Well may those Wretches fear to die Whose ill-spent Life No Prospect but Eternal Wee does give Thou calmly didst surrender up thy Breath Unterrify'd at the Approach of Death Nor did emasculating Grons betray Thee emulous of any farther stay Or loth the gastly Summons to obey Thy Life was wondrous but its Exit is A Glorious Apotheosis Thus though with Splendor Phoebus gilds The Morning of his Race Yet are his brightest Beams reserv'd The setting Sun to grace Feb. 19. 1693 4. Sic moerens deflevit HEN. CUTTS The CONTENTS of the Papers Paper I. AN humble Avouchment of God to be her Portion pag. 34. Paper II. An earnest Expostulation with her self in reference to the great Concern of her Pretious and Immortal Soul p. 37. Paper III. Her most serious Thoughts on this Passage You will not come unto me that you may have Life p. 44. Paper IV. Her grave and godly Advice to her Children p. 47. Paper V. Her humble and chearful Deportment under Afflictions p. 53. Paper VI. A thankful recounting of many particular Mercies vouchsafed to her p. 55. Paper VII The Scriptures of great Use and Comfort p. 63. Paper VIII Serious Reflections on the late Earthquake p. 67. Paper IX X. An awful Sense of Death and her own approaching Dissolution p. 71 76. Paper XI A delightful Contemplation of the Blessedness of the Saints in Heaven p. 82. Paper XII Texts of Scripture that yielded great Comfort and Support under her desponding Thoughts p. 90. Paper XIII An earnest Desire to be fitted for and brought unto Heaven p. 99. A Funeral Sermon 1 COR. 7. 30. And they that weep as though they wept not I Shall insist upon that Clause at this time In it I shall observe 1. A Concession He grants them some kind of Sorrow and Grief 2. A Correction He moderateth it 1. He grants them some kind of Sorrow in that he puts Weeping for Adversity the Affection for the Condition the Effects for the Cause as allowing them an holy Sensibleness of their Misery they that weep Then he correcteth and moderateth this Sorrow as if they wept not because he will not trust such a dangerous Weapon in their own Hands and leave the Corinthians to the Vileness and Waywardness of their own Affections though I allow you to weep yet 't is as if you wept not The Points are two I. That God alloweth yea requireth of his People some Sorrow and Sensibleness of their Condition II. That the Heart must be so managed under this Sorrow that we may be said not to weep rather than to weep at the same time it must be with such Moderation Or thus Christians should so sorrow under the Sense of their Condition as if they did not sorrow I shall speak briefly of both these Doct. I. God requireth and alloweth some Sorrow They that weep I shall 1st shew you that God doth so 2dly Shew you what this Sorrow is 1. To prove that so it is I will not stand to instance Places of Scripture in a Point so familiar The Reasons are 1st This is the End why we have Affections that they may be exercised in their Season God hath planted in every Man Affections sutable to every Condition in which he placeth him It is said the Stars in their Order fought against Sisera so Affections We have Joy for Prosperity Sorrow for Adversity What did God mean to give us such contrary Affections if not that they should be acted in their Order and Time that these Affections should like the Spokes turn with the Wheel of Providence And therefore God complaineth much as if he were frustrated of his End when we do not answer Providence by an Exercise of those Affections that are sutable to it as Ier. 5. 3. I have smitten them and they have not grieved God wondereth they should be so unnatural as not to grieve when stricken by him So for Mercy Hos. 11. 3. I taught Ephraim to go taking them by their Arms but they knew not that I healed them that is they were not sensible of it did not take notice and were not sutably affected with the Love of God They are ranked among the rest of Men that are under their natural Condition who are 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 without natural Affection to be flinted hornyhearted such as have no Smartness no Quickness of Affection especially when the Misery is of such a Nature that near Friends are taken from us is very displeasing to God 2dly Because that due Exercise of Sorrow under Affliction is very serviceable and beneficial to the Soul 1. To help spiritual Duties Anima nunquam melius agit quam ex impetu insignis alicujus affectus The Soul works best when it hath the Advantage of an Affection When the Soul is made better by the Bitterness of Grief we feel and the Soul maketh the Affection of Sorrow to be Vehiculum a kind of a Chariot to carry on the Work of Repentance Ier. 2. 19. Know and see that it is an evil thing and bitter that thou hast forsaken the Lord thy God When the Iron is hot if you strike in you may get good take the Advantage of your Hearts under your Sorrows 3dly To make it serious Sorrows gather the Soul together and make it more it self A Man cometh to himself in his Grief Usually God taketh this Course with his People though they begin in the Flesh they end in the Spirit Sorrow maketh Reason to stand still Solomon speaketh of bethinking themselves in the Land of their Afflictions 1 Kings 8. 57. Jolly Persons are slight never think upon any thing Those that wallowed in Pleasures did put far away the Day of the Lord Amos 6. 3. Till the Prodigal was tamed by outward Grief and Want he never had Thoughts of returning They that did not grieve when God struck them Ier. 5. 3. refused to receive Correction The more sorrowful the Mind is the more serious Sorrow drieth up all those swimming Thoughts and pleasing Imaginations by which Men drive away their Time and divert their Care and therefore there is a great deal of Benefit comes by it it puts the Soul in an advantagious way of receiving Good 4thly This would double the Affliction not to grieve for such things as nearly touch us To break the Bent and Course of Nature is dangerous Affections when strongly stirred must have their Exercise for fear of greater Harms It is an Ease sometimes to mourn Strangled Grief choaks the Heart 1 Sam. 25. 37. Nabal's Heart became as a Stone within him when he heard Tidings that mightily affected him it had been better he had wept and mourned As Chirurgeons first let the Sore soften before they begin to draw it Iob 2. 13. Iob's Friends said not a Word to him the first seven Days for they saw that his Grief was great They let Sorrow have its Course for a
Cains look with fallen Countenances Gen. 4. 6. Let the Pharisees please themselves in their sowr Looks Mat. 6. 16. A Christian's Countenance should shew him to be above his Misery sprightly and chearful though you take away their Coat as Ioseph's Mistress did you cannot take away their Comfort they are glad they can escape with their Conscience though they should leave their Coat behind them I remember Scaliger playeth the Critick with Homer because Champion Achilles is brought in weeping his beloved Briseis was taken from him So it is a Disgrace to our high Profession when a Christan is brought in 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 weeping it is beneath you It is said in Acts 5. 41. They departed from the Presence of the Council rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer for Christ. Philpot's Stocks in the Bishop of London's Coal-house was but a pair of Organs as he saith Nor is it true only in these honourable Sufferings for the Glory of our Religion but in the Strokes of Providence in this very Business of deceased Friends The Apostle makes it the Property of Pagans to mourn excessively 1 Thess. 4. 13. Sorrow not as those that have no Hope i. e. as Pagans they did abound in it as see Gen. 50. 3. compared with v. 10. Ioseph mourned for Iacob but seven Days the Egyptians seventy even ten times as much Nay Pagans err so much this way that if they could not find Grief they would force Grief and therefore at their Funerals if they had no Sympathy they would slash their Faces and cut their Flesh that they might be sorrowful And therefore God saith Deut. 14. 1. Ye shall not cut your selves and make Baldness in your Eyes for the Dead ye are the Children of the Lord your God that is you have higher Principles you know such Sorrow needless And hence was it that the Primitive Christians were wont to sing triumphant Psalms at Funerals as it appeareth out of many Places of Chrysostom to shew they had higher Hopes of their departed Friends 3. It is very prejudicial You have no Benefit but a great deal of Hurt by it 2 Cor. 7. 10. there it is summed up in one word Worldly Sorrow worketh Death that is chiefly Sorrow for worldly things that works Death temporal and eternal in its Desert temporal Death as it exhausteth the Spirits wasteth the Marrow Worldly Sorrow leaveth a very strong Impression upon the Body as Solomon saith Prov. 17. 22. A broken Spirit drieth the Bones it dulleth and deadens the Heart If a Man would not save his Tears yet he should reserve them keep them up for holy Uses God may give you many spiritual Occasions to empty your Bottle do not be over-free of them Affections over-exercised are usually restrained against the next Occasion And as they procure Death in respect of the Vigour of the Body and Soul so an eternal Death too it deserveth it And so the Apostle is to be understood for he opposeth it to Godly Sorrow which hereafter you shall see you have no cause to repent of as you have of Worldly Grief is a most serious Passion and though a Man may forget himself in his Joy he should not forget to think of the Danger Worldly Sorrow worketh Death 4. It is very unreasonable If Men would cite their Affections before the Tribunal of Reason and ask them what 's the matter why they are so violently stirr'd they might discern much of their Folly Psal. 42. 5. David calleth himself to an account Why art thou so disquieted O my Soul why art thou cast down within me Ask why it is and you will see either no reason or a corrupt one Iniqua lex est quae se examinari non patitur saith Tertullian And so it is an evil Heart that will not be called to an account Suspect those Passions that are loth to be examined Do but ask your selves why do I grieve now you shall see the Answer will be foolish unreasonable unthankful or savouring of Discontent Why it may be you will say Many dear Comforts are taken from me O Brethren that is an ill Expression no outward Comfort can be taken from a Christian We should live in such a continual waiting for God's Pleasure and in such a quiet Submission thereunto as not to look upon our Comforts as taken from us Iob indeed useth the word Iob 1. 23. The Lord hath given the Lord hath taken but he useth it so as if he would be understood as if the Lord had accepted of the Resignation for he blesses God for it Even our highest Comfort our Lives the Lives of the Saints are not taken from them God doth but as it were accept of the Resignation As Stephen Acts 7. 59. Lord Iesus receive my Spirit So Rev. 22. 20. Even so come Lord Iesus come quickly It is said of the Wicked indeed that their Lives are snatched or taken away as Iob 27. 8. What Hope hath the Hypocrite when God taketh away his Soul or snatcheth it away So Luke 12. 20. Thou Fool this Night shall thy Soul be required of thee 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 they shall challenge and get away thy Soul from thee Therefore we should resign up our holy Friends to God as well as they do themselves But let us see how unreasonable this very Particular is of Mourning for the Dead Is it to do them good They are not the better for our Tears they are past Recovery by our Weeping Is it not to envy their Blessedness to wish them alive again 2 Sam. 12. 23. Wherefore should I fast can I bring him back again I shall go to him he shall not come to me Is it because they were so good that we mourn The better for God they are gone to their own home Is it because so bad 2 Sam. 13. 39. David was comforted concerning Anmon because dead though he died in Sin Or is it because they died so soon which heightens your Loss Consider who decreed it are you wiser than God Is it for your own Good you weep that is an holy Weeping Weep as if you wept not Thus if Men would expostulate with themselves they would see the Unreasonableness of their Sorrow it is to no purpose We express things to no purpose by Water spilt on the Ground certainly Tears in such Cases are but spilt Water Use 1. To instruct you to take home this Lesson so to sorrow under the Sense of your Afflictions as if you did not sorrow be it the Loss what it will though I shall chiefly speak to the present Occasion Do not let the Grief oppress your Heart Ay but how shall we do so I shall give you some Motives As 1st Be sure to get an Interest in spiritual Mercies The Doctrine saith Christians ought so to sorrow as if they sorrowed not We cannot speak to others in this Language unless we should perswade Men to slight the Hand of God We throw Bones to Dogs but Bread to Children
cast into the Fire God will dash the Potter's Vessel Gen. 19. 22. Haste thee scape to Zoar for I cannot do any thing till thou be come thither I cannot mark that Exod. 32. 10. Let me alone and I will make of thee a great People God offereth Moses Composition Acts 27. 24. The Lord hath given thee all them that sail with thee These are the Staff and the Stay therefore we have Reason to be sensible of their Removal from us Use 2. We have Reason also to be comforted 1st For the Glory that cometh to God by her sweet Departure Those that have envied her Life may wish for her Death even such Solace as she felt in the most bitter Agonie Numb 23. 10. Let me die the Death of the Righteous and let my latter End be like his It is a great Comfort that wicked Men have not wherewithal to blast Religion when they see how the Love of God can compose our Spirits in the greatest Extremities that befal us either in Life or Death 2dly That she hath left us for Glory It was indeed through many Throws and Pains and Sorrows but Death played the Midwife to help her into Glory It is the Apostle's Exhortation to the Thessalonians 1 Epist. chap. 4. ver 13. That they should not sorrow even as others which have no Hope concerning them which are asleep in Jesus but admonish them to comfort one another with these Words That at Christ's Coming they which survive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the Clouds to meet the Lord in the Air And so shall we be ever with the Lord. Wherefore comfort one another with these Words FINIS PAPER I. I Hope I have avouched the Lord to be my God and resolve to walk in his Ways and to keep his Statutes and his Commandments and his Judgments and to hearken unto his Voice And I humbly implore that the Lord would avouch me to be one of his peculiar People and that he would enable me to keep all his Commandments I often question whether I have any Interest in the Eternal God or whether he will own me as one of his but Lord I humbly say I have and do avouch thee to be my only God and Saviour O cast me not off and I earnestly beg Grace to walk in thy Ways Help me to keep thy Statutes continually Let me not dare to offend thee O that I might never provoke thee my good God to be angry or displeased with me but let me O Lord be a Doer of thy Commandments that so I may have Right to the Tree of Life Lord I have no Right I can plead no Right I fall infinitely short of my Duty but have not I a blessed Saviour to plead for me who died for the Chief of Sinners and he hath promised that none that come to him he will in any wise cast out I know he is able to save to the utttermost all those that come to God through him in his prevailing Name and for his sake I implore Divine Assistance to enable me to persevere and hold out to the end that at the last I may enter in through the Gates into the City into the Heavenly Ierusalem where the Saints and Angels and Cherubims and Seraphims are continually singing Hallelujahs to their King Holy Holy Holy Lord. I acknowledg my Unfitness my Unworthiness for this great inexpressible inconceivable Privilege but though I am unworthy if thou my God wilt count me worthy through the Merits of my dear Saviour I shall have Cause for ever to bless thy Name in the highest Heavens World without End Though I have no Right if thou wilt give me Right to those Treasures and Pleasures which are at thy right Hand for evermore this will be Matter of Thankfulness to Eternity Give me some Hopes that I have an Interest in these invisible things by my Care to please thee and my Fear to offend thee by my unfeigned Respect to all thy Holy Righteous and Just Commandments and by my harkning to thy Voice the Voice of thy Word and the Voice of thy Rod. Thy Dealings are variously dispensed towards me I met with many contrary Winds O let them all blow me nearer to thy blessed Self Lord I humbly say I have avouched thee to be my only God my Salvation my Portion my Rock my Fortress O be thou my reconciled Father to whom I may continually resort and when my Flesh and Heart here fail me as frequently they do be thou the Strength of my Heart and my Portion for ever O God my God do not forsake me nor cast me utterly out of thy Sight The Things of this World they do not they cannot they will not content me O give me some comfortable Hopes that I am thine that thou hast adopted me and that thou wilt sanctify me and make me meet for thy blessed Self I would be every Day sitting and preparing my self for my last Day for my accounting Day when I must be summoned before thy Tribunal Seat to give a strict severe Account for all my Thoughts Words and Actions whereby I have offended thee my gracious and good God but I find my self unfit for any spiritual Duty Lord help me to mind the Work of Time while Time lasts furnish me with Divine Assistance to enable me to do my Duty without which I am utterly uncapable of serving or pleasing thy blessed Majesty Death is hastning Eternity approaching the particular Day of Judgment near and yet for all this how inconsiderate art thou O my Soul to neglect the things that belong to thy everlasting Peace I am often thoughtful what will become of me here and how Matters will go with me here in this Life Ah but when is the time to provide for Eternity to get my Title to Heaven cleared to get an undeniable Interest in Christ Jesus which will yield me Comfort in the greatest worldly Distresses Lord give me some Hopes that thou hast avouched me to be thine and that I have sincerely without Reservation or Power of Revocation avouched thee to be my God PAPER II. DO thou by a patient Continuance in Well-doing seek for Glory and Honour and Immortality and Eternal Life Be not weary of Well-doing for in due time thou shalt reap if thou faint not Is there Glory Honour Immortality and Eternal Life set before me and yet shall I tire and wax weary Dare I be impatient and fret at any of the Lord's Dealings towards me If Heaven were oftner in my Eye and View I should be more calm and composed in the midst of all Trials Troubles and Afflictions that do or may overtake me during my Abode in this distracting and Sin-defiling World Is there Glory to be had hereafter and shall not I endeavour to be a Sharer therein Is there Honour to be conferr'd upon those that are true Worshippers of the Lamb and shall I be dull and dead and sluggish and unmindful of the Honour that
hunger no more neither thirst any more neither shall the Sun light on them nor the Heat for the Lamb which is in the midst of the Throne shall feed them and shall lead them unto living Fountains of Water and God shall wipe away all Tears from their Eyes O what blessed Imployment are the Saints ingaged in in serving God Day and Night in his Temple where the everlasting JEHOVAH that sitteth on the Throne shall eternally dwell among them The Bliss of these Heavenly Inhabitants is inconceivable Well may the Apostle say Eye hath not seen nor Ear heard what God hath laid up for them that love him It is exceedingly above what we can think or imagine or conceive Who can tell what it is continually to injoy the comfortable Presence of the great God and the Lamb When God's People have had but some Glimpse of his Favour and Friendship and some Hopes of dwelling with him they have impatiently longed for a Dissolution They count this World as a Prison in which they are separated from their God their Christ and the Holy Angels which will be their everlasting Companions Those that God will admit into his everlasting Glory he hath told us they shall be exempted for all hurtful Evils never shall they hunger more nor thirst any more Lord too too many Thoughts do I spend about these outward Supplies of Meat and Drink and Raiment O when when wilt thou bring me to Heaven where these things will be of no Use nor Value to me Happy and only happy are they whom the Lamb which is in the midst of the Throne will feed and lead to the Fountain of Living Water from whose Eyes all Tears shall be wip'd they shall know no more what Death meaneth In Heaven there is no Sorrow nor Crying nor shall there be any more Pain for all old things shall be done away the former things are passed away past and gone nothing remains but Joy and Gladness and praising of our Great Creator sounding out continual Halleluja's to the King of Kings Lord is it my Duty to be fitting and preparing my self for this blessed State and for my Approach before thy awful Tribunal and dare I still neglect it Help me to remember that I must work while it is Day the Night of Sickness Sorrow and Death are approaching and then I cannot work Lord Jesus make me meet make me fit for thy blessed self that when I come to leave this base World I may be admitted to the Heavenly Society of Saints and Angels Cherubims and Seraphims where are ten thousand times ten thousand saying with a loud Voice Worthy is the Lamb that was slain to receive Power and Riches and Wisdom and Strength and Honour and Glory and Blessing Every Creature in Heaven and Earth shall then say Blessing Honour and Glory and Power be unto him that sitteth upon the Throne and unto the Lamb for ever and ever Amen and Amen PAPER XII I Am frequently assaulted with this sore Temptation that I shall never persevere and hold out to the end but shall tire and saint and grow weary so that every Trial shall master and overcome me so that I sometimes fear there is no Hopes for me of entring into Rest I fear I shall fail short of eternal Life which is a cutting Consideration to me and sometimes sinks me into the Depth of Misery But that I may not wholly despond I will here recite some Places of Scripture which consist of Precepts and Promises and which I hope may be of use to me and may make me stir up my self to do what in me lieth to lay hold on the Hope set before me and may cause me to look to thee O blessed Father for Grace and Strength to hold out to the End of my Days Let me not grow weary in Well-doing for in due time I shall reap if I faint not In Rev. 2. 10. it is said Fear none of those things which thou shalt suffer Behold the Devil shall cast some of you into Prison that ye may be tried and ye shall have Tribulation ten Days Be thou faithful unto Death and I will give thee a Crown of Life Doth God say Fear none of those things which ye shall suffer and yet shall I be overwhelmed and dejected and distracted for fear of Troubles and Calamities Here is mentioned the worst of Enemies the Devil he shall afflict some and cast them into Prison but at this we ought not to be terrified for sometimes God doth it to try his poor People and he doth permit them to be in Tribulation but God limits the time it is expressed here ten Days that is a certain for an uncertain time it implies but a short time were it at our Adversary's the Devil's Disposal we might be as many Years as here are mentioned Days yea all our Life-time in continual Sorrow but we are in the Hands of a merciful God and though he see meet sometimes to scourge and try us yet he will not let us be tempted beyond what he will enable us to bear and for our Incouragement he hath said If we be faithful to Death he will graciously reward us He that saith Be thou faithful make me faithful and then I need not doubt but he will give me this Crown of Life It is not nor cannot be merited by us it is the free Gift of God Here are several Promises he hath graciously made to those that hold out to the end as in ver 7. To him that overcometh will I give to eat of the Tree of Life which is in the midst of the Paradise of God Who would not strive to overcome that at last he may be admitted into the Paradise of God where he shall eat of the Tree of Life and then shall hunger and thirst no more but shall be happy in the Injoyment of God and the Lamb to all Eternity Ver. 11. He that overcometh shall not be hurt of the Second Death What a comfortable Promise is this The First Death is nothing in comparison of the Second What 's Death Temporal if compared to Death Eternal When we die we are deprived of earthly Friends and earthly Comforts but if the Second Death hath Dominion over us then there is an eternal Banishment from the comfortable Presence of God and an eternal Separation between God and the poor Soul which is Hell it self O Lord give me Grace that I may so fight strive run and conquer and at last overcome that I may not be hurt of the Second Death Ver. 17. To him that overcometh will I give to eat of the hidden Manna and will give him a white Stone and in the Stone a new Name written which no Man knoweth saving he that receiveth it This is an unspeakable Privilege indeed to have the Bread of Life This hidden Manna it is hidden from the World and given only to those who through Faith and Patience lay hold on eternal Life How happy are those that
or less though with some Abatement to her dying Day by which her Life was many times a very Burden to her Her Doubts as to her Eternal State were sometimes very grievous but yet through the Goodness of God she still kept up this Resolution to venture her Soul in the Hands of her Redeemer Having one time ask'd very earnestly Will not Christ receive me if I come to him receiving some encouragement in this Matter she replied with Chearfulness Then will I come to him She took great Delight in reading her Father's Sermons especially those of the Life of Faith under our Affliction and very comfortable was the insuing Passage of one of them to her under her Doubts and Fears viz. The Question being propounded by poor doubting Souls thus How shall we know whether God be our God Answ. Why do you love him as your chiefest Good Do you seek his Glory as your utmost End Do you obey him as your highest Lord and Law-giver and do you depend on him as your Paymaster and Benefactor But if all this will not help you to judg your Hearts there are but two things will give you Comfort and those are your Choice and your Resignation Do you chuse God for your Portion Though you cannot say God has chosen you and that he is yours yet you will chuse him Do you by an Holy importunate Faith thus fasten your selves upon God and say Lord if thou wilt not honour me love me bless me as thine for I am resolved to be thine and if I perish one must perish that desires to be thine And this she would often repeat The Night before she died her Husband earnestly and humbly besought the Lord that he would graciously be pleased to give her some comfortable Manifestations of his Love to her poor Soul O let it never be forgotten the gracious Condescension of God to his unworthy Creature The next Morning her faithful and loving Servant who attended her in all her Ilness brought him Word that now the Case was altered with her Mistress she was now reconciled to the Thoughts of Death and was refreshed with the Sense of God's Love and desired to have no more Cordials given her she had better Comforts to refresh her Soul This was on the Lord's Day in the Morning She spake not much after but lay in a quiet composed Frame of Spirit softly groaning under the Pains of Death that made his nearer Approach to her every Hour but even then when she heard her Husband speak to her she would answer with a very pleasing and chearful Voice A dear Friend lay on the Bed by her a very little space of time before she expired and heard her utter distinctly though softly full of Comfort Soon after she ended her Life with the Sabbath and went to Rest on the 16th of March 1689. THE Person that succeeded her in this Relation was also the Daughter of that Reverend and worthy Divine Mr. Thomas Burroughs Minister at Cotsbrook in Northampton-shire till the Year 1662 when he with some hundreds more were turn'd out for Non-conformity After a convenient and decent Space of time of her continuing a Widow she chang'd her Condition into a married State though much against her own Inclination and Temper but purely out of her Respect and Kindness to Mr. Terry whom she knew intirely lov'd her But when once the Nuptial Knot was tied her Carriage as a Wife was with all imaginable Respect accompanied with most indearing Tenderness often expressing how much her Love was increased to her Husband much more than she thought it could have been though before as a Friend she equally preferr'd him to all others of that Rank Her Domestick Affairs she managed with great Prudence and in that Station she gain'd Love and Respect from all She had a most tender and compassionate Regard for the Souls of her dear Children She took great Care to instruct them in the Principles of Religion and incouraging them to read and learn the Holy Scriptures This her Care also did extend to her Servants whom she would on all occasions be ready either by her Advice or by reading some good Book to them her self when their Business would permit and endeavour to beget in them a true Sense of their Sin and Misery and the Worth of their precious Souls God who is the God of Nature as well as of Grace was pleased to endow her with a great Proportion both of Natural and Spiritual Excellencies She was a very beautiful and lovely Person in her younger Years few exceeding her and of most excellent Parts and of great Understanding yet of a very humble Spirit and very mean in her own Eyes though deservedly valued by those that knew her Such was the Sweetness of her Temper accompanied with true Godliness that she was an Ornament to her Profession To speak of her as a Christian would exceed the Limits of these Papers God had greatly adorn'd and beautified her Soul with the Graces of his Holy Spirit and agreable thereunto she lived in some Holy Proportion answerable to the Vows of her Consecration and to the Godly Education she received from her pious Relations She intirely devoted her self to God to be wholly his and at his Disposal She had a singular Value for the Holy Scriptures which she constantly made conscience of reading and would sometimes write them out with profitable Remarks on them for her own spiritual Use. Other good Books also had their due Esteem and Use but she would often say none of that kind yielded her more Comfort and Satisfaction than Dr. Manton's It was very usual in her own Bible and Books to give some little Mark at those Passages that were of particular Concern to her self under the Variety of the Dispensation that she passed through She had a most high Esteem for the Publick Worship and Service of God which she never or rarely omitted to frequent unless hindred by some unavoidable Occasion The Sabbath was a Day of Delight to her she made conscience as of seeing Religious Duties performed in the Family so also of redeeming Time for her private Converse with God and this was resolved and subscribed to under her own Hand many Years ago that she would spend some Time in Prayer and Meditation and herein followed the Method she received from the Directions of Worthy Mr. Daniel Burgess to help her in that Work viz. to go over the Creed the Lord's Prayer and Commandments all which she did perform with many other Portions of Scripture as appears from the many Papers left under her own Hand She was much pleased with what she heard a worthy Divine relate in pressing his Hearers to Private Prayer of a Holy Man that would never omit this Duty but when like to be hindred by any Company would make this honest Excuse I must take my leave of you for a while there 's a Friend above stays to speak with me meaning God that has commanded this
Duty And indeed private Prayer conscientiously and constantly performed is a notable Sign of a gracious Heart for I think an Hypocrite can rarely be constant and uniform in this Duty for that of Iob may be very applicable to this Will he delight himself in the Almighty will he always call upon God I neither do nor dare I censure all those that make such a Bustle about their Ten and Three a Clock Devotions I hope and believe that many serious and godly Christians may in all Sincerity perform them but I think as they are now ordered they come not so near that Command of our Saviour When thou prayest enter into thy Closet Besides there 's too much Ground to fear they shut out both Private and Family-Prayer too in many Places and it 's too too common a Practice in this City to go from the Temple to the Play-house from the House of God to the House of Belial It 's very observable that such as are most zealous this way accompanied with the Neglect of Family and Private Prayer are generally very loose and irregular in their Conversation As to her Deportment under Afflictions which she was exercised withal both spiritual and temporal for God chastens every Son whom he receives it was accompanied with great Humility and Self-judging often expressing her Unworthiness of the least of the Mercies that God vouchsafed to her She was far from a querulous or murmuring Temper endeavouring after a humble submissive Frame of Spirit and under these Afflictions that sometimes did greatly depress her sweet and tender Spirit she would frequently express how much Comfort and Reviving she received from God's Holy Word and not only under her Troubles but also when freed from them in the most quiet and sedate Frame of Spirit She would bless God that this Life would not last always She had frequent Illness and was once thought by her Friends past Recovery but when restored again though thankful to God for his Favour to her she did seem to bewail her Infelicity I thought said she that I was going off the Stage of this evil World to the Place where I should sin and sorrow no more but I now see I must again be toss'd on the Waves and Billows thereof When it was told her that according to the Course of Nature she might yet live thirty or forty Years this was so far from pleasing her that Nature that usually abhors the Thought of Death did as it were shrink and recoil within her to think of being so long kept out of Heaven Under her last Ilness being with Child in which there were some more than ordinary Symptoms of her Danger at which she was not at all dismayed but said As to Application of Means I am willing to submit to any thing for the Satisfaction of my Friends but as for my self I am content without any This cutting Expression she utter'd to her dear Husband with great Chearfulness She was so far from desiring to live that she much rather desired to be dissolved and to be with Christ. The Night before she died she had spent some time in secret and read one of Dr. Manton's Sermons but such was her humble and self-condemning Temper that she to her very last bewail'd her not Improvement of her last Days Mercies as she thought she ought Her Death was very surprizing to her Friends though not to her self She always believed her approaching Change was near though her Friends had some Hopes of her Recovery till by a sudden and surprizing Stroke they found her Desire accomplished and her Words true to their astonishing Grief and Trouble She died the 9th of November 1693. in the 38th Year of her Age. No more shall be here mentioned of her but refer you to the Perusal of some few amongst many of her Manuscripts in which you will perceive a Vein of Vertue and Piety running through all the Course of her Conversation an humble Avouchment of God to be her Portion and a thankful recounting of God's Mercy to her from her very Infancy her tender Regard to the Souls of her dear Children her humble and submissive Temper under her Afflictions her earnest Perswasion to others and her self to work the Work that God has given them to do with a Sense of the Sins and Judgments deserved and expected on the Nation her awful Sense of the Day of Death and Judgment with the happy State of glorified Souls with her Fear and Hopes in relation to these A Pindarique Ode to the ever glorious Memory of my honoured Aunt Mrs. Ann Terry who put on her Immortal Robes and Incorruptible Crown March the 16th 1689. in the 36th Year of her Age. Stat sua cuique dies Breve irreparabile tempus Omnibus est Vitae sed famam extendere factis Hoc Virtutis opus Virgil. Stanza I. MY melancholy Muse so ost imploy'd On the ungrateful Themes of Death Hop'd now a Vacancy to have injoy'd And for a while t' suspend her mournful Breath But lo a recent Scene of Grief appears Ponderous overwhelming Grief Without Allay without Relief Too great to be express'd by any Poets Tears For who amongst the Sons of Harmony Can give due Praises unto thee Or can sufficiently deplore The Loss of such in vulgar Excellence As took its Flight in thee from hence And will perhaps bless the unworthy World no more II. Ah! how unequally does Heaven bestow Its Favours on poor Mortals here below Sometimes it suffers us to be O'recharg'd with surfeiting Felicity Grown big with Ioy we think our selves secure Of the much-wish'd-for Blessing but alas We little know how soon from us 't will pass A sudden Metamorphosis Deprives us of our charming Bliss Bliss too Soul-ravishing long to endure Else had we not been summoned now by Fate With overflowing Eyes To sing thy much too early Obsequies And Godlike Vertues to commemorate III. From the Illustrious Manton sprung Too great a Theme for my mean Song And fit alone for his who David's glorious Actions so di In whom the Graces all conspir'd vinely sung To render him belov'd admir'd Who firmly has enroll'd his Name In the most durable Records of Fame Who with such wondrous Art conjoins Solidity and Sweetness in his Lines Great by thy Birth yet greater by thy Merit Thou didst more of his Worth than Wealth inherit Such was thy generous Stâ—â—k Nor didst thou any Lustre thence derive Thou didst not back again wich greater Intâ—rest give IV. Thy Spring with Beauties did abound With them thy riper Years were crown'd Thou all Perfections hadst and more Than any of thy Sex before The Composition of thy Heavenly Mind In which Iudgment Fancy and Wit Did every one enthroned sit Was fraâ—'d to Vertue and from Vice refin'd A kinder Wife no Husband e're cou'd boast A more indulgent Mother never Children lost Tender thou wast to an Hyperbole To all thou knew'st in Misery So very ready to relieve They scarce could ask faster than