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A29918 The discovery of a proiector shewing the beginning, progresse, and end of the projector and his projects : also the projectors last will and testament, with an epitaph to his memory / by T. Brugis, Gent. Brugis, Thomas, fl. 1640? 1641 (1641) Wing B5222; ESTC R252 19,877 46

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sought most earnestly to have a Patent of Priviledge to engrosse these Projects solely to themselves pretending no benefit at all to them but onely so farre forth as to defray their necessary expences but all the profit to acrew onely to his Majestie and the good of the Common-wealth which how false they are the successe of these severall Projects in this Age will shew to every one These Projects had very ill successe because as I have shewed you they had every one of them some great faults as insufficiency exceeding dearnesse exceeding basenesse or uglinesse The new Waterworkes to raise Waters being lesse sufficient for the purpose then the old way and more chargeable to be erected and in regard of excellency more imperfect became a worthlesse Project The new Invention of melting Iron from the Oare with Seacoale had one of the before recited faults for though it may be melted that way yet the good Mettalicall quality of the Iron is destroyed or at least the greatest part of it for there is a certaine Arsenicall or Antimoniall quality in all subterraneall substances combustible both which are poysons to Iron and make it altogether insufficient The Engine to sowe Wheat was lesse excellent then the old ordinary way of sowing The Invention of making Windowing of pure Venice Glasse the sale Mechanicke was exceeding deare and costly and therfore although it be more excellent or more sufficient then the ordinary kinde of Windowing by greene Glasse yet the Projector can doe no good of it because it hath the fault of exceeding dearenesse The great Imperiall Engine before spoken of was to bee tryed amongst the whole Company of Projectors but when the fire was given it being overtaken by mistake of measure and moderation a matter which Projectors seldome regard and spends so much money in fundamentall tryals as they call them it sodainly recoyled and breaking in the discharge tooke Pompeon Bread such a blow on the bosome that he was presently carryed off and is never likely to repaire to the Court againe untill a deare yeare repaire his reputation The Fulling Milners famous woodden Horse not like the Trojan Horse used to Warre started at the mighty cracke cast his burthen and before he came to Islington brake one of his hinder legs by which he became utterly unserviceable and not long after also gave up his unparaleld life bequeathing his vaste body like Tom Lankfords Gelding to his Master for Winter fuell to comfort his melancholly soule These things and many others falling out very contrary to this brave couragious minde cast him into an incurable consumption of Conceit although he was a while palliated by some letters from others his fellowes of a better successe upon another triall but all would not serve turne his Physitians found that he was much troubled with a Reference but was a little lightned by a cordiall Certificate yet in the end no Physicke could be administred that could worke with him but of an extraordinary obstruction and stopping at the Great Seale he shortly after dyed Since whose death I finde that in the time of his sicknes be made his last Will and Testament in writing desiring that there might be an Office erected of purpose for the enroling of the same and of others his successors wherein he shewed himselfe a true Projector both in life and death The Projectors last Will and Testament IN the name of the great Egerian Nympha propitious Patronesse of all Projectors since she first inspired her Pomphilius the most Potent that ever was of that Profession J that was before busied in making and framing of Common-wealths as my least Imployment am now become no more then an ordinary mortall man making my last Will and Testament in manner and forme following Imprimis I will that my tenth part in the running Lottery be bestowed in the building of an Hospitall to which the maimed Projectors that have miscarried shall be conveyed to be there well provided for recovered and made serviceable Item My will is that if any Courtier after my decease prove so miraculously honest as to performe to mine Executors what hee contracted with me in my life time it bee disbursed in the erecting of certaine Almes-houses for the receite only of such as have consumed their estates in attending for great Preferments Offices Clerkships and Surveyors places upon the deceitfull proofe and successe of Projects and one of these Almeshouses I thinke fit to bee built in Ramme Alley where they may have the benefit of the Temple Garden and Gallery to free them from the lest suspition of danger for of all Spices the very sight of the Mace frights them almost into a quotidian Ague another I would have to be in Milford Lane where I have found good refuge my selfe at a pinch the third to be in Fulwoods Rents in Holborne for the benefit of Grayes Inne and Purpoole Lane for their outlet and the fourth to be in Mountague Close for their Summer house Item I give and bequeath all that piece of ground lying betweene the trees in the Inner Temple on the East side to be a Summer walke for Gentlemen of that Profession for ever Item I give and bequeath unto the said Professors the long Wooden Gallery extending over the Middle Temple Lane going towards the Water side to be their Winter retyring place for ever Item I likewise bequeath my whole share of the Moytie of the late Project for pickling of Pilchers Westward towards the repairing of the said Gallery now much decayed and for the glasing of the said Windowes there that the Sisiphonian heads of our Projectors be not endammaged by reason of the cold and so their Designes become ayrie and unprofitable Provided alwayes that if any of them shall be heard to talke of any lesse some of money then thousands in either of the said places they forthwith lose the benefit of this present Legacy Item I further bequeath unto the said Professors and their successors the whole profit that shal arise and acrew in and by the late invention of the sole making and erecting certaine profitable Stoves for roasting baking boyling of all meates and drying of Mault without sight of fire or touch of smoake whereby the food is not corrupted and the liquor so much more subtile for and towards the staying of their sharpe stomacks before dinner time upon this condition that their morning meeting for this purpose shall be at the Welsh Ordinary in Chancery Lane and their dyet no other then what shall be cooked and dressed by the said invention that their wits may be refined and so exceed ordinary capacities Item I give and bequeath unto the Salt-Peter men aforesaid my little Tenement by the Ducking Ponds to be their Worke-house for ever Item I give and bequeath unto the Professors aforesaid all my Instruments and Tooles Permanent and Transient both Plegnicke Lenicke and Caminicke as Presses Vices Screwes Bellowes Tongues Moulds Dryers Rammers and all my Instruments whatsoever with their and every of their appurtnances which are at my Workehouse at Isllington Highbury or elsewhere within these his Majesties Realmes and Dominions of England Scotland Ireland and Wales Item I give and bequeath unto my brethren the Brokers of London my whole standing Wardrobe in hope that they will Register this deed and for the Donators sake for ever observe the Vigils of Saint Hugh His Funerall I will passe over as not worth speaking of onely I will bestow an Epitaph on him which is the last point of service that I can doe him And may this Story many Ages after For losse of our Projector move much laughter FINIS EPITAPH REader if thou faine would'st know who lies here entomb'd below Know 't is one who in his time the Common-wealth striv'd to refine All Trades now us'd seem'd to him toyes as if th 'ad been devis'd by boyes He had such wayes to mend the same That got him an admired name With many friends and riches store yet for all this he died poore All you therefore that this way passe and cast your eye upon these lines Lament our brave Projectors losse who hath not left his like behind For here he lies got wealth and lands that now wants strength to stirre his hands And here beleeve it he hath found after many a weary looke A parcell of concealed ground never came in Tippers Booke Let him have this little quillet for his Wormes and he will fill it T. B.