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A20054 The dead tearme. Or, VVestminsters complaint for long vacations and short termes Written in manner of a dialogue betweene the two cityes London and Westminster. The contentes of this discourse is in the page following. By T. Dekker. Dekker, Thomas, ca. 1572-1632. 1608 (1608) STC 6496; ESTC S105243 36,593 55

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able to make it leape out of my Iurisdiction More Mayden-heades I verily beléeue are cut off vpon my owne feather-beds in one year than are heads of Cattell cut off in in two amongst the Butchers that serue my families But I feare O London that by dwelling so near thée thou hast infe●ted my houses with these two plagues that now run ouer all the Kingdome for all the world knowes that euen thy shop-kéepers and poorest Tradesmen lay by their owne occupations and fall to these Other sinnes lies gnawing like diseases at my heart for Pride sits at the doores of the rich Enuy goes vp and downe with the Begger féeding vpon Snakes Rents are layde vpon the racke euen my own sight and by my own Children that I haue borne whilst Conscience goes like a foole in pyed colours the skin of her body hanging so loose that like an Oxford Gloue thou wouldst swear there wer a false skin within her Couerousnes hath got a hundred handes and all ●●●se hands do nothing but tye knots on her Purse-strings but Prodigality hauing but two handes vndoes those knottes faster than the other can tie them O thou Darling of Great Brittaine thy Princes call thée Their Treasurer and thou art so But more peeces of Siluer and Gold passe not through thy fingers then oathes from the mouthes of my inhabitants Thou art held to be O London the lowdest swearer in the kingdome because some say thou hast whole shoppes and Ware-houses filled vvith oathes yet I feare I haue those about me that for filthy mouthing wil put thée down for I am haunted with some that are called Knights onely for their swearing Ranckely doe these and other stinking wéedes grow vp in my walkes and in my Gardens the sauours of them are Pestilent to my Nosthrils and are able to kill me yet much good wholesome fruits do I féed vpon that are to my life a preseruation So that for the aches that these diseases bréed in my bones I doe not languish neyther Thou knowest and I confesse it for if I should not the whole world would swear it that thou possessest the more but I the more goodly buildings thy hauses are contryued for thrist and profitable vses mine for state and pleasure thou dwe lest vnder plaine roofes I within royall Pallaces euery roome that thou lodgest in is but called a Chamber and euery Chamber I sleepe in is a Kinges Court In thine Armes lie the sonnes of England to suck wealth but in my lap sit the Princes of England to be Crowned In my bosome doe they slumber whilest they liue and when they dye they desire to bee buried betwéene my breasts To testifie this all the annoyted kinges and Queenes except one who receiued his Crowne at Glocester with all the Wiues of those kinges that haue raigned heere since that Norman Conqueror would if they were now liuing speake on my side in that behalfe for the full number of 21. Kinges and two Quéens being a payre of Sisters haue receiued the glorious Titles of Maiestie and were seen the very first day of their sitting on the English throne onely at my hands and in my presence of which that conquerour and Matilda his wife had the honour to begin for till hys time other places wer made happy by that dignity as Kingston c. which then were farre aboue me but now can no way be my equall To proue how much the Rulers of this Monarchy haue loued mee euen on their Death-beds their bodies which they haue as their richest Legacies bequethed to my kéeping are royall witnesses I can shew thee O thou Noblest of thy Nation the bones not onely of most of those kinges before-named but of some that liued here long before them But because the Graue is the vtter destroyer of al beauty yea and so defaceth the lookes and the bodies euen of the goodliest princes that men abhorre to behold them also for that it is helde an acte most impious and full of Sacriledge to offer violence to the deade I will onely giue thee the names of all those Kinges Queenes and Princes Royal bloud that now lay their heads on my knées must sléepe there till that day when all that rest in graues shal be summoned to awaken Of these was Sybert King of the East Saxons the first with his wife Aethelsoda Sybert gaue me my first being in the world and at his departure from the worlde did I giue his body an euerlasting habitation Next vnto him did I lay Harold Sir-named Hare-foot King of the West Saxons Then Edward the Confessor vppon whome king William bestowed a shryne of Syluer and Golde And then these Aegytha wife to that Conquerour Matilda wife to Henry the first and daughter to Malcoline king of Scots Henry 3. who builded a great part of that my famous Temple and whose Sepulcher was adorned with precious stones of Iasper fetched by his sonne Edwarde the 1. out of France Eleanor wife to that Henry Edmund second Sonne to that Henrie the first Earle of Lancaster Darby and Liecester wyth Auelyne hys Wife who was Daughter and heyre to the Earle of Albemarle Besides him all the Children of the sayde Henry the 3. and of Edward 1. being nine in number Edward the first who offered to the Shryne of Edward the Confessor the Chaire of Marble wherein the kinges of Scotland had wont to be crowned and in which the king that first made England and Scotlande one Monarchy was now lately inthronized Eleanor wife to that Edward 1. and Daughter to Ferdinando king of Castyle In memory of whose death so many stately Crosses as Mon●umentes of his loue to her were erected in all those places where her body was set downe when it was sent to bee lodged with mee Eleanor Countesse of Barre Daughter of Edwarde the first Edward 3. and Phillip of Henalt his wife Wiliam of Windsore and Blanch his Sister children to Edward the third Thomas of Wood-stock sonne likewise to that Edward Iohn of Eltham Earle of Cornewall sonne to Edward the second Richard 2. that vnfortunate king with Anne his Wife Daughter of Vinceslaus king of Bohem which Anne brought vp the fashion for women to ride in side Saddles which till her time rode as men Then that Guttorum Mastix the scourge of the French Henry 5. to doe honor to whose victorious and dreaded name Katherine his wife and daughter to the King of France caused an Image to the portraiture of hir husbande to bee made of Massy Siluer all gilded ouer which was layde vpon his Monument but Couetousnes not suffering euen hallowed places and the shrines of the dead to bee frée from hir griping talents the head of that Image which was al of Massy siluer is now broke off the plates that couered the body stoln and conueyed away That royall Quéene and Bedfellow of his Lady Katherine was with mee likewise layd to rest but after
to stretch forth too imperious a hand Thou art contented to receiue in the Golden Haruest but loath to bee shaken with the breath of Autumne Thou likest it well to haue a Summer all the yeare but dost not consider that Winter is as wholesome for thy body This shewes thy indiscretion thy improuidence and indulgence of thy selfe to bee pampred like an Epicure Thou art gréedy as the Sea and wouldest deuoure all thinges but wouldst part from nothing thou art catching as ●●re so thy self mayst be fed thou carest not who perish Uncharitable are thy wishes immodest are thy longings and most vnconscionable are thy aspyrings and most vnneighborly are thy fore-stallings That which thou wouldest haue done is not I graunt against all Law but it is with All Law for thou desirest to haue men go to Law all the yeare long which wish of thine is as dishonest as if it were to haue continuall warres and continuall wars are continual Slaueries It is as if thou shouldest wish to haue an euerlasting thunder for what are pleadinges of causes but noise without ceasing Thou sayest the foure Tearmes are vnto thée as foure great Feasts yet doost thou in bitternes of thy sorrow cry out vpon foure Vacations wherein thou behauest thy selfe all one as if thou shouldest complain because thou art not euery houre féeding If foure Tearmes should be without tearme and neuer come to an end those feastes which they incite thée to would be to their incurable surfeits and so consequently thy destruction If the sounde of Lawyers tongues were but one whole twelue month in thine eare thou thy selfe wouldst euen loath it tho it were vnto thee neuer so delicate Musicke Nothing increaseth in vs as a delight in any pleasure but to haue that pleasure taken away for a time But that the night offends vs with darknes we should grow weary of the day So that foure Vacations if thou canst rightly make vse of them may be vnto thée as 4. seueral saw●es to sharpen thy stomacke against those great feasts are serued vp to thy Tables So goe to Law I confesse is necessary in a Republike So is it to haue a Plague for thereby the Superfluo●s numbers of people which otherwise if they increased would deuo●ure one another are swept away So is it to haue War for the Sword cuts off those idle branches that steale away the Sap from the profitable boughes of a Kingdome But to haue a Warre without end or a Plague without mercy is the vndoing of a Realme and so would it be if men were euer in brablings The 4. Vacations are like so many Soundings of Retreat after 4. Battailes in which breathing-times men renew their courages their forces and their manners of fight where else the Pleader neuer giuing ouer would grow too rich and so bee enuied and the clyent euer spending would be made a Beager and so gather into faction Uaine therefore idle sencelesse shapelesse and of no validity are those Encomiasticke honors with which thy rhetoricall cunning hath fethered a Pen so gaily An Idoll hast thou made of it whereas in the true nature it is a pyneon puld from the left wing of the deuill A Pen The inuention of that and of Incke hath brought as many curses into the world as that damnable Witch-craft of the Fryer who tore open the bowels of Hell to find those murdering engines of mankind Guns and Powder Both these are alike in quality in mischiefe yea and almost in fashion The Pen is the Piece that shootes Inck is the powder that carries and Wordes are the Bullets that kill The one doth onely destroy men in time of warre the other consumes men both in warre and peace The one batters downe Castles the other barters them away Cedant Arma Togae let G●ns therefore giue place to Gownes for the Pen is the more dangerous weapon to run vpon Why then doost thou nay howe canst thou without blushing defend a cause so notoriously badde How darest thou hang a Trée so barren of goodnesse and so rancke of poyson at the roote with so many Garlandes of prayses Canst thou find in thy heart to write Ealogies in honour of that deadly double pointed Engine that hath béen the confusion of so many thousands Then let wreathes of Lawrell Crowne their Temples that shall sing the dishonorable Acts of those Swords which basely haue béen inbrued in the bowels of their owne Countrey for in what other tryumphes then in the afflictions of men are these warlike Instruments of writing imployed One dash of a Pen hath often beene the downefall of a man and his posterity By help of this Wiues practise to abuse their Husbands by the Witch-craft of Amorous passions which are coniurd out of a Goose-quill Louers intice young wenches to folly This is that which spreads abroad and sowes the Séedes of Schismes and Heresies This is that which marres all Learning and makes it contemptible by making it common It is the Weapon of a Foole and oftentimes his braynes drop out of the end of it in stead of Incke It is a sharpe G●ade that prickes our young Gentry to beggery for in lesse than a quarter of an hower with a Pen doe they betray all the Landes and liuings purchased by their progenitors into the hands of Brokers Scriueners and Usurers What forten hand hath euer béen working in the forge of Treason for the deuastation of this Kingdome for the extirpation of the Religion in it or for the murdering of our Princes But Pennes like Hammers on an Anuile haue continually béene beating out the plottes and conueying them hither to bee made smooth and to passe currant What Libilles against Princes against Péeres against the State or against our Magistrates were euer like pricking Thornes thrust into the sides of this Empire to make it bléed of which a Pen was not guilty This by leauing a word vnpoynted was the death of Edward the second with this holding it but in his hand did Richard the second giue away all the royalties belonging to a Crowne and blotted out his owne name for euer any more to be found written with the name of a King In conclusion the Tragedie of so many of our Ancient Nobility were neuer acted on Scaffo●des but a Pen was chiefe Actor in their deaths and downefals So then you may perceiue that this Rauens bill draweth bloud where it once fastneth The Iawes of a Toade sweating foaming out poyson are not more dangerous than a Pen being filled with that banefull and venomous mixture of Gall and Copporas Accursed therefore be that Bird out of whose wing so pestilent and so malitious an enemie to humane creatures is taken offensiue to the stomacke be for euer the meat of it and apt to engender mortall surfeits sithence so small a part of it as a Quill hath bred from the beginning and til the dissolution of this Vniuersall Frame will be the cause of so much distemperature