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A66701 The new help to discourse or, Wit, mirth, and jollity. intermixt with more serious matters consisting of pleasant astrological, astronomical, philosophical, grammatical, physical, chyrurgical, historical, moral, and poetical questions and answers. As also histories, poems, songs, epitaphs, epigrams, anagrams, acrosticks, riddles, jests, poesies, complements, &c. With several other varieties intermixt; together with The countrey-man's guide; containing directions for the true knowledge of several matters concerning astronomy and husbandry, in a more plain and easie method than any yet extant. By W. W. gent. Winstanley, William, 1628?-1698.; Winstanley, William, 1628?-1698. Country-man's guide. aut. 1680 (1680) Wing W3070; ESTC R222284 116,837 246

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fate Perceiving near worn out would needs translate 'T was a good thrifty soul and time hath bin He would well liquor'd wade through thick and thin But now hee 's gone 't is all that can be said Honest John Cobler is here-under-laid On John Taylor the water-Poet HEre lies the VVater-poet honest John VVho rowed on the streams of Helicon VVhere having many Rocks and dangers past He at the Haven of Heaven arriv'd at last On a Man and his Wife buried together REader cease thy pace and stay Hearken unto what we say As you are such once were we As we are such shall you be Then provide whilst time ye have To come Godly unto your grave An ancient Epitaph on an Earl of Devonshire HOstay who lies here I the good Earl of Devonshire And Mand my VVife that lov'd full dear VVe lived LXV year VVhat we spent we had VVhat we gave we have VVhat we lent we lost On John Lilburn UNtimely cause so late and late because To some much mischief it no sooner was ●s John departed and is Lilburn gone Farewel to both to Lilburn and to John Yet being dead take this advice from me Let them not both in one Grave buried be Lay John here and Lilburn thereabout For if they both should meet they would fall out On Hugh Peters HEre lies the first and last edition Of Hugh the Teacher of Sedition VVhose fatal thread that thread of Life VVas cut in two by Squire Dun's Knife His Iests and Drols could not him save To go untimely to his Grave Mean time Tyburn felt the loss That he was hanged at Charing-Cross On VVilliam Summers King Henry the Eights Jester STay Traveller guess who lies here I tell the neither Lord nor Peer ●o Knight no Gentleman of note ●hat boasts him of his ancient Coat VVhich Heralds curiously emblazon For men well skill'd therein to gaze on ●now then that this was no such man ●nd I 'le express him as I can He that beneath this Tomb-stone lies ●ome call'd fool some held him wise ●or which who better proof can bring ●hen to be favour'd by a King ●nd yet again we may misdoubt him A King hath alwaies fools about him Is he more Idiot than the rest Who in a guarded coat can jest Or can he wisdoms honor gain That is all bravery and no brain Since no such things wit truly bred I' th' habit lies not but i' th' head But whether he was Fool or Knave He now lies sleeping in his Grave Who never in his life found match Unless the Cardinals fool call'd Patch Of whom some Courtiers who did see Them two alone might say We three And 't may be fear'd it is a phrase That may be used still in these days VVell more of him what should I say Both fools and wise men turn to clay And this is all we have to trust That there 's no difference in their dust Rest quiet then beneath this stone To whom late Archy was a drone Stultorum plenasunt omnia On Hobson the merry Londoner HEre Hobson the merry Londoner do● lie And if that you would know the reas●● wh● It was because when as his Jests grew dry He thereupon took pet and so did die On a very fat Man UNder this same stone Here fast sleepeth one And that is not two Yet was without doubt Far bigger about Than both I and you His Kidneys encreast So much that his Waste Was hooped all round But his Girdle Death cuts And down fell his Guts 'Bout his heels to the ground On an Usurer HEre lies at least ten in the hundred Shackled up both hands and feet That at such as lent Money gratis wonder'd The gain of Usury was so sweet But thus being now of life bereaven 'T is a hundred to ten he 's scarce gone to Heaven On a Miller DEath without question was as bold as brief When he kill'd two in one Miller and thief On a Taylor who dyed of a Stitch. Here Stich the Taylor in his grave doth lye Who by a Stich did live and by it dye On Death THe death of all men is the total sum The Period unto which we all must come He lives but a short life that lives the longest And he is weak in death in life was strongest Our life 's like Cobwebs be we ne're so gay And death the Broom which sweeps us all away RIDDLES or dark Propositions ' oftentimes used in Discourse Riddle 1. UNto the Exchange I went some knacks there for to buy Within a Cloyster there was pon't a Monster certainly Feet and hands it had full eight Four eyes clear of sight Four ears whereby to hear And two bodies exceeding clear Kesolution It was an Exchange woman big with Child Riddle 2. I went to the wood and I got it I sat me down and I sought it I kept it still against my will And so by force home I brought it Resolution It was a man that had a thorn in his foot Riddle 3 A Beggar once exceeding poor A penny praid me give him And deeply vow'd nere to ask more And I nere more to give him Next day he beg'd again I gave Yet both of us our oaths did save Resolv He gave him but a penny Riddle 4. Beyond Sea there is an Oak and in that Oak's an Nest and in that Nest an Egg and in that Egg there is a Yolk which calleth together all Christian folk Resolution The Oak is the Church the nest is the Belfrey the Egg is the Bell and the Yolk the Clapper Riddle 5. In thickest Woods I hunt with Beagles ten After the chase which when I do descry I dispossess me of not useful then And what I take not only that keep I. Resolution One scratching his head with both his hands Riddle 6. I went and I went I cannot tell whether I met and I met with I cannot tell who I had a gift given me I shall never forgo and yet I came a true maid home Resolution It is a Child went to be Christened Riddle 7. What is that is as white as snow And yet as black as any Crow And more plyant than a wand Tyed in a silken band And every day a Princes Peer Look on it with a mirth that 's clear Resolution It is a Book tyed with a silken lace Whose paper is as white as snow Ink as black as any Crow And leaves more pliant than any wand Riddle 8. My Coat is green and I can prate Of divers things within my grate In such a prison I am set That hath more Trap-holes than a Net Resolution A Parrot in a Cage of wyre Riddle 9. There was a Bird of great renown Useful in City and in Town None work like unto him can do He 's Yellow Black Red and Green A very pretty Bird I ween Yet he is both fierce and fell I count him wise that can this tell Resolution The painful Bee Riddle 10. I am called by the name of a man
Yet am as little as a mouse When Winter comes I love to be With my red Target near the house Resolution A Robin Red breast Riddle 11. What part of Man may that part be That is an Implement of three And yet a thing of so much stead No woman would without it wed And by which thing or had or lost Each marriage is quite made or crost Resolution The heart of a man a Triangular figure the beginning of Love Riddle 11. Two legs sate upon four legs and eight legs run before in came three legs and upon eight legs fell I count him wise that doth this Riddle tell Resolution It is a Man upon a Horse driving two sheep before him and a Wolf that hath lost one of his legs seizeth the two Sheep Riddle 13. Four and twenty white Buls sat upon a stall Forth came the Red-Bull and over-lickt them all Resolution It is ones Tongue and his Teeth Riddle 14. Learning hath bred me yet I know no letter I have liv'd among books yet am never the better I have eaten up the Muses yet know not a verse What Student is this I pray you rehearse Resolution A Worm bred in a Book Riddle 15. It was not it is not nor never will be Hold up your hand and you shall see Resolution It is the little finger that was not nor is not nor never will be so great as the other fingers Riddle 16. All day like one that 's in disgrace He resteth in some secret place And seldom peepeth forth his head Until Day light be fully fled When in the maids or Good-wives hand The Gallant first had Grace to stand Whence to a hole they him apply Where he will both live and die Resolution A Candle Posies for Rings GOd did decree Our unity Rings and true friends Are without ends We are agreed In time to speed In comely hue None like to you In thy breast My heart doth rest I trust in time Thou wilt be mine Faithful love Can ne're remove No force can move A fixed love 'T is love alone Makes two but one My fancy is Endless as this I seek to be Not thine but thee In thee each part Doth catch a heart My love to thee Like this shall be So decreed And so agreed The love I owe I needs must show As I affect thee So respect me My love for this Deserves a kiss In body two In heart but you As I to thee So wish to me When Cupid fails Thy eye prevails Where hearts agree No strife can be God above Increase our love Heart and hand At your command Where this I give I wish to live Best election Is constant affection Though far apart Yet near in heart Nothing for thee Too dear can be Loves delight Is to unite As I expect so let me find A faithful heart a constant mind The sacred purpose and decree Is manifest in choosing thee My faith is given this Pledge doth show A work from Heaven perform'd below The eye findeth the heart chooseth The hand bindeth and death looseth Wit Wealth and Beauty all do well But constant love doth far excel Fear God and love thou me That is all I crave of thee Be it my fortune or my fault Love makes me venture this assault ACROSTICKS On these words If thou hadst granted I Joy had wanted To a proud rich but deformed Gentlewoman In danger puft you say I prove Fraught with the steam of lust not love Time was you say I priz'd the face High and renown'd as if its grace Ore-past compare but now I seem Urg'd unto wrath to disesteem Honor's attendant unto thy praise And to disrobe thee of thy rays Disgorging thus such surfeits you Sound forth these words I am untrue 'T is true I said three Goddesses Grac'd thy rare parts as like to these Rich Juno was but like a Sow As foul as fat and so art thou Next wisdom was in Pallas but Thou like to her art turn'd a slut Eye-pleasing Venus would admit Delight in bed and you love it Incensed by thy wily mind I thus requite thee in thy kind Ore charg'd with anger venting spleen Yearst to one Fool one Slut one Quean Harbound in one I did compare thee Although truth known I seemed to spare thee Digest me as you please yet know Will ne're did mean what wit did show And though Art taught me to be bold No part I lov'd in thee but Gold Take this from me pray that a fool Espouse thee so thy filth may rule Detain no wise man for thy self No such will love thee but for thy wealth A cross Acrostick on two crost Lovers Though crost in our affections still the flames Of Honor shall secure our noble Names Nor shall our fate divorce our faith or cause The least Mislike of Loves diviner Laws Crosses sometimes are cures Now let us prove That no strength shall Abate the power of Love Honor wit beauty Riches wise men call Frail fortunes Badges In true love lies all Therefore to him we yield our Vows shall be Paid Read and written in Eternity That all may know when men grant no Redress Much love can sweeten the unhappiness Acrostick on Malt Malt is the grain of which we make strong Ale Ale is the liquor that doth make us merry Let but a Toast be put in 't 't will not fail To make the heart light and to sing down derry Another Malt is the grain by which a Fox we gain Ale is the liquor makes our tongues run quicker Let these two boast but the honor of a toast Then sit and tipple 't will your senses cripple Acrostick on time Time with his Sythe brings all to their last home In vain to plead none can withstand his doom Monarchs by Deaths triumphant hand are made Equal i th' grave unto the Sythe and Spade An Acrostick Epitaph on a virtuous Gentlewoman Askest thou Reader who it is lies here No common corps then list and thou shalt hear Goodness rare meekness zeal pure chastity Interr'd together in this ground do lie Behold her acts whilst here she made abode She liv'd belov'd of men dy'd lov'd of God Acrostick on Death Death is the last end of our mortal Race Each hour we spend we thither hie apace A little time it is in life we have Today w' are here tomorrow in our Grave Help us then Lord no aid but thee we crave ANAGRAMS Anagram TOAST A SOTT Exposition A TOAST is like a Sot or what is most Comparative a Sot is like a Toast For when their substances in liquor sink Both properly are said to be in drink Anagram SMOCK MOCKS Exposition Strait-smocks to whoremasters do oft prove Mocks Who thereupon do bann and curse Strait-smocks Anagram ROUND-HEADS HEAVENS ROD. Exposition When Cavaliers by sin offended God The bloody Round-heads were made Heavens Rod. Anagram JOHN TAYLOR Water Poet. LOYAL IN HART Exposition And well he did deserve this Anagram Who was unto his end a Loyal
Fuller to be therein most exquisite who is reported that he would walk any street in London and by the strength of his memory tell how many and what Signs they were hanging in that street from the one end to the other according as they were in order As also if five hundred strange names were read unto him after the second or third hearing of them he would repeat them distinctly according as they have been read unto him Qu. What difference is there betwixt Prophets and Poets An. Thus much according to the old Verse Of things to come the first true Prophets are What the other of things past do false declare Qu. What creature is that which at once brings forth nourisheth her young and goeth with young again An. The Hare that fearful but fruitful creature who is represented as the Emblem of good providence because she sleeps with her eyes open Qu. Why do men commonly deck their Houses with Ivy at Christmas An. Ivy is said to be dedicated to Bacchus the God of wine and good cheer at which time men commonly eat and drink hard as one writes At Christmas men do always Ivy get And in each corner of the House it set But why do they then use that Bacchus weed Because they mean then Bacchus like to feed Q. Who brought up the first custom of Celebrating the Twelve days in Christmas with such Feasts and Sports as are still retained in some Gentlemens houses A. The famous King Arthur one and the chief of the Worlds nine Worthies an Institution which the Scottish Writers of these late times very much blame as being a time fitter for our devotion than for our mirth Qu. What is it which being contained in its self yet from it thousands do daily spring and issue A. The Egg from which is produced Fowls Fishes Birds and Serpents Q Was the beard created before the man or the man before the beard A. This seems to be a ridiculous question for most will think that the man must needs be created before the Beard and yet we find it otherwise for all beasts were made before man was made and amongst others the bearded Goat Q Whether was the Egg or Bird first A. Some will say the Egg because all Birds are produced from the Egg but we must know that the first rank of creatures was immediately from God without secondary causes and not produced by the Egg as is since by the course of nature Q. In what part of the world is it that trees bear living Creatures A. In the Isles of Orcades in Scotland wherein grows a Tree that bears fruit like unto a Fowl which dropping down into the water becomes a living creature like to a Duck to which Mr. Cleaveland alludeth in these verses A Scot when from the Gallow-tree got loose Drops into Styx and turns a Soland Goose Q. What Custom was that observed formerly in Scotland the like whereof we hardly read be practised in any Country A. It was called Marcheta Mulieris and took its beginning as the Scottish Write say in the reign of Ewen the third who i● the fifteenth King in their Catalogue after the first Fergus This Ewen being a Prince much addicted or rather wholly given over unto lasciviousness made a Law That himself and his Successors should have the Maiden-head or first nights lodging with every woman whose Husband held Land immediately from the Crown and the Lords and Gentlemen of all them whose Husbands were their Tenants or Homagers This was it seems the Knights-service which men held their Estates by and continued till the days of Malcolme Comner who married Margaret the Sister of one Edgar Etheling at whose request he abolished this lascivious ungodly Law ordaining that in the room thereof the Tenants should pay unto their Lords a Mark in money which Tribute the Historians say is yet in force Qu. Who was the most famous whore in her time An. Corinthian Lais who exacted ten thousand Drachma's for a nights lodging which made Demosthenes to cry out Non emam tanti paenitere I will not buy repentance at so dear a rate and occasioned the old verse Non cuivis homini contingit adire Corinthum 'T is not fit for every mans avail Unto Corinth for to sail She was afterwards for her extortions and spoiling the trade of the other petty whores set upon by a company of those strumpets and by them stoned to death as one writes of her At last a Crew of whores did set upon her A whore she was and whores to death did stone her Q. What Laws were those that were so severe and yet were kept and continued for the space of seven hundred years together A. The Laconian or the Laws of Lacedaemonia once a famous Commonwealth in Greece which Laws were compiled by Lycurgus who going a Journey bound the people by oath to observe all his Laws till he returned and being gone from thence commanded that when he was dead and buried his ashes should be cast into the Sea by this means his Laws endured for a long time in Sparta which by reason thereof flourished in great prosperiry Q. What place is it that is accounted the middle or center of the Earth A. Some say Palestine and in particular the Valley of Jehosaphat of which opinion are many of our ancient and modern Divines but some of our Historians and Poets allo● the same to Pytho or Pythia a Town in Greece of which they say that Jupiter desirous once to know the exact middle of the Earth let flie two Eagles one from the East the other from the West these Eagles meeting in this place shewed plainly that it was the Navel or mid part of the Earth Q. What are the causes of ebbing and flowing of the Sea A. Several men are of several minds Some ascribe it to the Moon who by her approaching to the South doth by her beams and influences make warm the Sea whence the rising exhalations do proceed wherewith so swelling to empty it self it floweth to the Shores and Havens but descending to the Horizon and Wane as her beams by little and little diminish the waters do fall and abate which causeth her Eddy or Ebb. Others impute it to God and his Spirit moving upon the waters moveth the waters which Iob expresses by the similitude of fire under a pot saying It is God that maketh the Sea boil like a pot which fire is taken to be partly in the saltness of the waters which in the night shows like fire and causes a moving in the same Another reason is for that the Earth hath more fire in it than water which fire lieth hid in the subterraneous stones and this fire doth partly cause the motion of the Sea an Element of it self liquid and active and subject to motion which thereto when once by this fire occasioned the precedent part is thrust forward by the subsequent Others again give this reason that the Earth being round and
than wise did undiscreetly refuse the same A short English Catechism We must believe twelve and we must do ten And pray for seven if we 'll be godly men Qu. What strange custom is that which is reported of the Muscovia women An. That they love those Husbands best which beat them most and think themselves neither lov'd nor regarded unless they be twice or thrice a day well-favourdly bang'd To this purpose there is a story reported of a German Shoemaker who travelling into this Countrey and here marrying a widow used her with all kindness that a woman could as he thought desire yet still she was discontented and the more he sought to please her the further off was from any content at last learning where the fault was and that his not beating her was the cause of her discontent he took such a vein in cudgelling her sides that in the end he killed her I suppose it would be a very hard matter to bring up this custom in England or to perswade our women that their Husbands beat them out of pure love which they bear unto them Qu. How comes it to pass that there be more women in the world than men An Some assign this reason because that women are freed from the Wars which devoureth many thousands of men few of them pass the dangers of the Sea suffer imprisonment and many other troubles and hazard of the Land to which men are incident and this they think to be a sufficient reason others there are who argue more merrily alledging that in the whole course of Nature the worst things are ever the most plentiful hence we have more Weeds than Hearbs more Lead than Silver more Crows than Partridges more Women than Men and therefore one thus merrily writes of that Sex If women were as little as they 're good A Pescod shell would make them Gown and Hood And another to the like purpose There is not one good woman to be found And if one were she merits to be crown'd Qu. Who was the first that invented Printing An. He who first taught it in Europe was one John Gutthenburg a German about the year of our Lord 1440. at Haarlem it is said to be first practised and at Menez perfected M. C. T. de officiis was the first Book which ever was printed which Copy is to this 〈◊〉 reserved in the publick Library in Frankford though many are of the opinion that the Chynoys had it long before us who print not as we use from the left hand to the right nor as the Jews from the right to the left but from the top of the leaf downward to the bottom whoever invented it no question but it is a most noble and profitable Art we having that done in one day by one man that without it many could not do in a year by writing Only I wish this most exquisite invention were not so much abus'd and prostituted to the lust of every foolish and idle Paper-blurrer the treasury of Learning being never so overcharg'd with froth and scum of foolish and unnecessary Discourses as by this means many people having a great ambition to be known in the world though they get nothing thereby but only to become Fools in print Qu. Who invented Guns An. That fatal Instrument the Gun was first found out by one Bartholdus Swart a Franciscan Fryer and a great Alchymist who being one time very studious to find out some experiments in his Art was tempering together Brimstone dryed Earth and certain other Ingredients in a Mortar which he covered with a stone The night growing on he took a Tinder-box to light him a candle where striking fire a spark by chance flew into the Mortar and catching hold of the Brimstone and Salt-petre with great violence blew up the stone The Fryer guessing which of his Ingredients it was that produced this effect made him an Iron pipe crammed it with Sulpher and stones and putting fire to it saw with what great fury and noise it discharged its self then longing to put his invention in execution he communicated the same unto the Venetians who having been often vanquished by the Gensuese and driven almost to a necessity of yielding to them by the help of these Guns gave their enemies a notable overthrow This was about the year of our Lord 1330. being the first battel that ever those warlike pieces had part in which not long after put to silence all the Engins and devices where with the Ancients were wont to make their Batteries of which Engine we may say as the Poet formerly did of that weapon the Sword Of murdering Guns who might first Author be Sure a steel heart and bloody mind had he Mankinds destruction so to bring about And death with horrour by near ways find out Qu. Where was wild-fire invented An. At the siege of Canstantinople by Caliph Zulciman about the year of our Lord 730. with which the Grecians did not a little molest the Saracens Ships This fire we for the violence of it call Wild-fire and the Latins because the Greeks were the inventers of it Graecus ignis Qu. Who invented the Battle-Axe An. Penthesilea who came with a troop of brave Virago's to the aid of Priam King of Troy she fought with the Battle-Axe and was slain by Pyrrhus Son to Achilles not long after her death was Troy taken by the Greeks who lost of their own men 860000. and slew of the Trojans and those that came to help them 666000. so as that of Ovid may be truly inferred Jam seges est ubi Troja fuit resecandaque falce Luxuriat Phrygio sanguine pinguis humus Corn sit for siches now grows where Troy once stood And the Soyl's fatted with he Phrygian blood Qu. By whom were the games of Dice and Chess first invented An. By the Lydians a Countrey of Anatolia who being sorely vext with famine invented the games that by playing at them they might beguile their hungry bellies Necessity thereunto informing according to that of Persius Artis Magister ingeniique largitor venter Qu. Who were the first Inventers of Paper and Parchment An. Paper was first found out in Aegypt and made of thin Flakes of Sedgy-weeds growing on the banks of Nilus called Papyri from whence it tooks it name By means of this invention Books being easier to be transcribed and reserved Ptolomeus Philadelphus made his excellent Library at Alexandria and understanding how Attalus King of Pergamum by the benefit of this Aegyptian Paper strived to exceed him in that kind of magnificence prohibited the carriage of it out of Aegypt Hereupon Attalus invented Parchment called from the place of its invention Pergamena from the materials thereof being Sheep-skins Membrana the conveniency whereof was the cause why in short time the Aegyptian Paper was quite worn out in place whereof succeeded our Paper made of rags The Author of which invention our progenitors have not committed to memory the more is the pity that he
Myrrh as unto a man ready for his sepulchre Three kings to th' King of Kings three Gifts did bring Gold Incense Myrrh as Man as God as King Three Holy Gifts be likwise given by thee To Christ even such as acceptable be For Myrrh tears for Frankincense impart Submissive prayers for pure Gold a pure heart Qu. Wherefore did Pilate wash his hands after he had condemned our Saviour An. Vainly thinking by that Ceremony to wash the blood off from his guilty Conscience O faciles animi qui tristia crimina caedes Fluminea tolli posse putatis aqua Too facile souls which think such heinous matters Can be abolish'd by the River waters We before spoke of the Popes Christening of Bells now we will shew you in what manner it is done The Bell that is to be baptized is so hanged that it may be washed within and without Then in comes the Bishop in his Episcopal Robes attended by one of his Deacons and sitting by the Bell in his Chair saith with a loud voice the 50 53 56 66 69 85 and 12 Psalms or some of them then doth he exercise severally salt and water and having conjured these ingredients into an Holy-water he washeth with it the Bell both on the inside and the outside wiping it dry with a Linnen Cloth he then readeth the 145 146 147 148 149 and 150 Psalms then he draweth a Cross on it with his right thumb dipped in hallowed Oyl Chrisme they call it and then prayeth over it His Prayer finished he wipeth out that Cross and having said over the 48 Psalm he draweth on it with the same Oyl seven other Crosses saying Sanctificetur consecretur Domine Campana ista in nomine c. After another Prayer the Bishop taketh the Censor and putting into it Myrrh and Frankincense setteth it on fire and putteth it under the Bell that it may receive all the fume of it This being done the 76 Psalm read and some other prayers repeated the Bell hath received his whole and entire baptism and is from thenceforth very fit and able to ring out Ding Dong Dong Qu. Who are those that pray for all Defend all Feed all Devour all An. In the representation of an ancient picture it was thus resolved The Pope with his Clergy says I pray for you all The Emperor with his Electors I defend you all The Clown with his sack of Corn I feed you all at ●ast comes Death and says I devour you all For Mors ultima linea rerum Death is a Pursivant with Eagles wings That strikes at poor mens doors and gates of Kings Further Verses upon Death Death is a Fisher-man the world we see His Fish-pond is and we the Fishes be He sometimes Angler-like doth with us play And slily takes us one by one away Diseases are the murthering hooks which he Doth catch us with the bait Mortality Which we poor silly Fish devour till strook At last too late we feel the bitter Hook At other times he brings his Net and then At once sweeps up whole Cities full of men Drawing up thousands at a Draught and saves Onely some few to make the other Graves His Net some raging Pestilence Now he Is not so kind as other Fishers be For if they take one of the smaller Frye They throw him in again he shall not die But Death is sure to kill all he can get And all is fish with him that comes to Net Qu. Why do the affections of Parents run upwards to their Children and not their Childrens un downward to them An. Experience tells us that Parents are more tender and loving to their Children by far than Children are dutiful and obsequious to their Parents Even as the Sap in the Root of a Tree ascends into the Branches thereof but returns not from the branches to the Root again but runs forth from thence into seed so parents love their Children who return not that love to them again but their affections run forwards to a further procreation Hence comes it to pass that one father with more willingness brings up ten children than ten children in his want will sustain one Father And whereas you hear of one unnatural Parent you shall hear of ten disobedient children Qu. Have the Heavens a particular influence upon the same Climate though the Inhabitants be changed An. Yes they have for as these Caelestial bodies considered in the general do work upon all sublunary bodies in the general by light influence and motion so have they a particular operation on particulars An operation there is wrought by them in a man as born at such and such a minute and again as born under such and such a Climate The one derived from the setting of the Houses and the Lord of the Horoscope at the time of his Nativity the other from that Constellation which governeth as it were the Province of his birth and is the Genius or Deus Tutelaris loci Qu. In what Points doth the Greek and Muscovite Church differ from that of the Romesh and the reformed An. In these ten 1. Denying the Holy Ghost to proceed from the Father and the Son 2. Denying Purgatory but praying for the dead 2. Believing that holy men injoy not the presence of God before the Resurrection 4. Communicating in both kinds but using leavened bread and mingling warm water with wine which both together they distribute with a spoon 5. Receiving children of seven years old to the Sacrament because then they begin to sin 6. Forbiding extream Unction Confirmation and fourth Marriages 7. Admitting none to Orders but such as are married and prohibiting marriage to them that are actually in Orders 8. Rejecting carved Images but admiring the painted 9. Observing four Lents in the year And tenthly reputing it unlawful to fast on Saturdays The main points in which the Grecians and Muscovite differ is in this manner of distributing the Sacrament and the exacting of Marriage at the Ordination of Priests Qu. Wherein do the Cholchians differ from other Christians their Neighbours An. In three circumstances 1. In not Baptizing their Children till the eighth year 2. In not entering into Churches till the sixtieth year but hearing Divine Service without the Temple 3. In dedicating their youth to theft and rapine their old Age to the difficult work of Repentance Qu. Whereon do the Jacobites differ from the Greek and Roman Church An. In four several opinions 1. They acknowledge but one Will Nature and operation in Christ 2. They use circumcision in both Sexes 3. They sign their children with the sign of the Cross imprinted with a burning Iron 4. They affirm Angels to consist of two substances fire and light These Jacobites are so called from Jacobus Syrus who lived Anno 530. the Patriarch of this Sect is always called Ignatius he keepeth residence at Garani in Mesopotamia and is said to have 160000 Families under his jurisdiction Qu. Of what Sect are those Christians called Melchites
who should shroud themselves in his long fleece when he would jump into Heaven and so convey them all thither With a thousand of the like fopperies Qu. Which Heretick in his time had the most followers An. Arius a priest of Alexandria who hatched that devilish Doctrine against the perpetual Divinity of Christ to beat down which Heresie the first Council of Nice was called wherein was made the Nicene Creed and the Clause of one substance with the Father proved to be agreeable to the Word Constantine being then Emperor sent for Arius to subscribe to the Decrees of this Council who went to Constantinople with his own heretical Tenets written in a paper and put into his bosom where reading before the Emperor the Decrees of the Council he writ a Recantation of his Heresie laying his hand on his breast and swearing he meant as he had written but though thereby he blinded the Emperor God manifested his hypocrisie for passing in great triumph through the streets of the City a necessity of Nature enforcing him he withdrew aside into a House of Ease where he voided out his Guts and sent his soul as a Harbinger to the Devil to provide room for his body However his Heresie died not with him but overspread so far that one of the Fathers complained The whole world is turned Arian And long time it was ere this Serpent of Error was knocked on the head by the Hammer of Gods Word though very powerful then in the mouths of many faithful Ministers Many other Heresies might be reckon'd up which were frequent in the primitive times as the Nicholaitans Donatists c. but we descend to speak of some more modern Qu. Who was the first that broached that ridiculous Schism of the Adamites An. One Picardus a Native of Belgia or the Low Countreys who coming into Bohemia drew a great sort of men and women unto him pretending to bring them to the same state of perfection that Adam was in before his fall and having gotten a great many disciples they betook themselves to an Island called Paradise and went stark naked having no respect unto marriage yet would they not accompany any woman until the man coming to Adam said unto him Father Adam I am enflamed towards this woman and Adam made answer Increase and multiply But long they had not lived in this lascivious course of Irreligion but Zisca that renowned Bohemian Captain hearing of them with a selected Band of Soldiers entered their Fools Paradise and put them all to the Sword An. Dom. 1416 The same pretence to bring men to Paradise though in a different way was once practised by Aladine a seditious Persian who inhabited a Valley in that Countrey which he fortified with a strong Castle Hither he brought all the lusty Youths and beautiful Maidens of the adjoyning Provinces The women were confined to their Chambers the men to prison where having endured much sorrow they were severely cast into dead sleeps and conveyed to the women where they were entertained with all the pleasures youth and lust could desire or a sensual mind affect To the eyes were presented curious Pictures and other costly Sights the Ears were charmed with melodious Musick the Nose delighted with odoriferous Smells the Taste satiated with costly Viands and the Touch satisfied with whatsoever might be pleasing unto it nothing was wanting which a sensual appetite could desire to enjoy Having lived in this happiness a whole day they were in a like sleep conveyed to their Irons Then would Aladine come unto them and inform them how they had been in Paradise in which place it was in his power to seat them eternally and which he would do if they would hazard their lives in his Quarrels They poor souls thinking all to be real swore to perform whatsoever he requested whereupon he destinated them to the massacre of such Princes as he had a mind to be rid out of the way which for the hopes of this Paradise they willingly put in execution refusing no dangers to be there the sooner One of these was he who so desperately wounded our King Edward the first when he was in his Wars in the Holy Land Qu. Who was the most notorious Heretick of these latter times An. One David George born at Delft in Holland who called himself King and Christ immortal He fled with his wife and children Anno 1544 to Basil where he divulged his doctrine the chief heads whereof were 1. That the Law and the Gospel were unprofitable for the attaining of Heaven but his doctrine able to save such as received it 2. That he was the true Christ and Messias 3. That he had been till that present kept in a place unknown to the Saints And fourthly that he was not to restore the house of Israel by death or tribulation but by the love and grace of the Spirit He died in the year 1556. and three years after his doctrine was by them of Basil condemned his Goods confiscated and his bones taken up and burned He bound his disciples to three things 1. To conceal his name 2. Not to reveal of what condition he had been And thirdly Not to discover the Articles of his doctrine to any man in Basil Thus every age produces Hereticks Who against Christ and true Religion kicks Qu. From whence had the Sect of the Anabaptists their first original An. From Germany about the year 1527. being very ripe in the Province of Helvetia where one of them in the presence of his Father and Mother cut off his brothers head and said according to the humour of that Sect who boast much of dreams visions and enthusiasms that God had commanded him to do it Since which time this Sect like a pernicious infection hath spread it self into many Countries having been very baneful to England in our late uncivil wars I might instance many examples more of our late Schismaticks as of the Ranters Fifth-Monarchy-men c. but we will now turn our pen to other matters Qu. What women of all others are most fruitful An. Beggars wives that of all others one would think should be most barren Qu. What is mans ingress and egress in this world An. He is born head-long into this world and carried to the grave with his feet foremost of which one thus writes Nature which head-long into life did throng us With our feet forwards to our grave doth bring us What is less ours than this our borrowed breath We stumble into life we go to death Qu. What is that State comparable unto wherein is most Nobles and Gentry and the Husbandmen are made their meer drudges An. Sir Francis Bacon in his History of Henry the Seventh likens them to Coppice-woods in which if you let them grow too thick in the stadles they run to bushes or briars and have little clean under-wood This may be evinced by the Countrey of France which is very numerous of Nobles and Gentry but the poor Peasants kept in
ground remaining a deep pit August 4. Anno 1584. At the end of the Town call'd Nottingham in Kent eight miles from London the ground began to sink three great Elms being swallowed up and driven into the Earth past mans sight March 17. 1586. A strange thing happened Mr. Dorrington of Spaldwick in the County of Huntington Esquire had a Horse which dyed suddenly and being ripped up to see the cause of his death there was found ●n a hole of the heart of the Horse a Worm of a wondrous form it lay on a round heap ●n a Kall or Skin in the likeness of a Toad which being taken out and spreed abroad was in form and fashion not easie to be described the length of which worm divided into many grains to the number of eighty spread from the body like the branches of a Tree was from the snout to the end of the longest grain seventeen inches having four Issues in the grains from whence dropped forth a red water The body in bigness round about was three inches and a half the colour was very like the colour of a Maycril This monstrous worm crawling about to have got away was stabbed in with a dagger and so died which after being dryed was shown to many persons of account for a great rarity Sunday December 5. in the thirty eighth year of Queen Elizabeths Reign a great number of people being assembled in the Cathedral Church of Wells in Sommersetshire in the Sermon time before noon a sudden darkness fell among them and storm and tempest follow'd after with lightning and thunder such as overthrew to the ground them that were in the body of the Church and all the Church seemed to be on a ligat fire a loathsome stench followed some stones were stricken out of the Bell-Tower the Wyers and Irons of the Clock were melted which tempest being ceased and the people come again to themselves some of them were found to be marked with strange figures on their bodies and their garments not perished nor any marked that were in the Chancel How daily ought we then for to pray thus From Lightning and Tempest Lord deliver us Anno 1604. in the Reign of King James John Lepton of Kepwick in the county of York Esquire a Gentleman of an ancient Family and of good reputation his Majesties Servant and one of the Grooms of his most honourable privy Chamber performed so memorable a journey as deserves to be recorded to future ages because many Gentlemen who were good Horse-men and divers Physicians did affirm it was impossible for him to do without apparent danger of his life He undertook to ride five several times betwixt London and York in six dayes to be taken in one week betwixt Munday morning and Saturday night He began his journey upon munday being the 26 of May in the year aoresaid betwixt two and three of the Clock n● the morning forth of Saint Martins near Aldersgate within the City of London and came to York the same day betwixt the hours of five and six in the afternoon where he rested that night The next morning being Tuesday about three of the clock he took his journey forth of York and came to his lodging in Saint Martins aforesaid betwixt the hours of six and seven in the afternoon where he rested that night The next morning being Wednesday betwixt two and three of the clock he took his journey forth of London and came into York about seven of the clock the same day where he rested that night the next morning being Thursday betwixt two and three of the Clock he took his journey forth of York and came to London the same day betwixt seven and eight of the clock where he rested that night the next morning being Fryday betwixt two and three of the clock he ●ook his journey towards York and came thither the same day betwixt the hours of seven and eight in the afternoon so as he finished his appointed journey to the admiration of all men in five days according to his promise and upon Munday the seven and twentieth of the same Moneth he went from York and came to the Court at Greenwich upon Tuesday the 28. to his Majesty in as fresh and cheerful manner as when he first began Anno 1608. in the fifth year of King James upon the 19. of February when it should have been low water at London-Bridge quite contrary to course it was then high water and presently it ebbed almost half an hour the quantity of a foot and then suddenly it flowed again almost two foot higher than it did before and then ebbed again until it came to its course almost as it was at first so that the next flood began in a manner as it should and kept its due course in all respects as if there had been no shifting nor alteration of Tydes all this happened before twelve a clock in the forenoon the water being indifferent calm And now we are come to our own memory viz. the Reign of King Charles the First in which we find that there was a Fish taken and sold in Cambridge Market which had in its belly a book of an ancient print part whereof was consumed but enough left to be legibly read as you may find in Mr. Hammond Lestrange his History of King Charles the first The wonder of his time old Thomas Parre a Shropshire man who attained to the age of 152 years and odd months being afterwards brought up to the Court as a miracle of nature but having changed his air and dyet he soon after dyed and was buried in Westminster Abbey The Woman at Oxford which was condemned upon a supposed crime having hanged a good space and being by the Soldiers knockt divers times on the breast with the but-end of their Muskets to put her the sooner out of her pain yet afterwards when she was cut down and ready to be Anatomized there was life perceived in her and by applying some things unto her she recover'd her memory and senses was afterwards found guiltless of the fact married and had three or four children June the second Anno 1657. a Whale of a prodigious bulk being sixty foot in length and of a proportionable bigness was cast on shore not far from Green-wich which was lookt upon to be a great presage of some wonderful matters soon after to ensue and indeed the event proved it to be true for not long after Cromwel full sore against his will in a great wind was hurryed away into another World The last but not the least wonder is of one Martha Taylor hear to Packwel in Darbyshire who from Saint Thomas day in the year ● four Lord 1667. to the present writing hereof being the 11. day of January 1668. hath not asted any sustenance in all that time she ●s still living and audible to be heard but more like an anatomy or Picture of death than ● living creature Qu. What other wonders are there to be
Earldoms of Guyen and Poictou by Elbiner his wife and a great part of Ireland by conquest towards the latter end of his Reign he was much troubled with the unnatural Rebellion of his Sons He dyed the sixth day of July Anno 1189. and Reigned twenty four years and seven months lacking eleven days Richard the first for his valor and magnanimous courage sirnamed Coeur de Lion he with a most puissant Army warred in the Holy-Land where by his acts he made his name very famous overcoming the Turks in several Battels whom he had almost driven out of Syria he also took the Isle of Cyprus which he afterwards exchanged for the Title of King of Jerusalem after many worthy atchievements performed in those Eastern parts returning homewards to defend Normandy and Aquitain against the French he was by a Tempest cast upon the Coast of Austria where he was taken prisoner and put to a most grievous Ransom finally he was slain at the siege of Chaluz in France by a shot from an Arbalist the use of which warlike Engine he first shewed to the French whereupon a French Poet made these Verses in the person of Antropos Hoc volo non alia Richardum marte perire Ut qui Francigenis Balistae primitus usum Tradidit ipse sui rem primitus experiatur Quamque aliis docuit in se enim sentiat artis It is decreed thus must great Richard die As he that first did teach the French to dart An Arbalist 't is just he first should try The strength and taste the Fruits of his own Art In his days lived those Outlaws Robin Hood Little John c. King John next succeeded or rather usurped the Crown his eldest Brothers Son Arthur of Britain being then living He was an unnatural Son to his Father and an undutiful subject to his Brother neither sped he better in his own Reign the French having almost gotten his Kingdom from him who on the Popes curse came to subdue it with whom joyned many of his Subjects by which the Land was brought to much misery Finally after a base submission to the Popes Legat he was poysoned by a Monk at Sw●nested-Abby after he had reigned seventeen years and five months lacking eight days and lyeth buried at Worcester Henry the third Son to King John against whom the rebellious Barons strongly warred yet however he expelled the intruding French out of England confirmed the Statutes of Magna Charta and having reigned fifty six years and twenty eight days was buried at Westminster of which Church he built a great part Edward the first sirnamed Long-shanks who warred in the Holy-Land where he was at the time of his Fathers death a most Heroick magnanimous Prince he awed France subdued Wales and brought Scotland into subjection disposing of the Crown thereof according to his pleasure he brought from thence the Regal Chair still reserved in Westminster-Abby he was a right vertuous and fortunate Prince Reigned thirty four years seven months and odd days and lyeth buried at Westminster Edward the second a most dissolute Prince hated of his Nobles and contemned by the vulgar for his immeasurable love to Pierce Gaveston and the two Spencers on whom he bestowed most of what his Father had purchased with his Sword as one writeth in these Verses Did Longshanks purchase with his conquering hand Albania Gascoyn Cambria Ireland That young Carnarvon his unhappy Son Should give away all that his Father won He having Reigned nineteen years six months and odd days was deposed and Edward his eldest Son Crowned King Edward the third that true pattern of vertue and valor was like a rose out of a Bryar an excellent Son of an evil Father he brought the Scots again to a formal obedience who had gained much on the English in his Fathers life time laid claim to the Crown of France in right of his Mother and in pursuance of his Title gave the French two great overthrows taking their King prisoner with divers others of the chief Nobility he took also that strong and almost impregnable Town of Callice with many other fair possessions in that Kingdom Reigned fifty years four months and odd days and was buried at Westminster Richard the second Son to Edward the black Prince the eldest Son of King Edward the third an ungovern'd and dissolute King He rejected the sage advice of his Grave Counsellors was most ruled by his own self-will'd passions lost what his Father and Grand-father had gained and at last his own life to the Lancastrian faction in his time was that famous or rather infamous rebellion of Wat Taylor and Jack Straw He having Reigned twenty two years three months and odd days was deposed and murdered at Pomfret Castle Henry the fourth Son to John of Gaunt Duke of Lancaster third Son to Edward the third obtained the Crown more by force than by lawful succession he was a wise prudent Prince but having gotten the Crown unjustly was much troubled with insurrection of of the subjects which he having quieted surrendred to fate having reigned thirteen years six months and odd days and was buried at Canterbury Henry the fifth who from a dissolute vicious Prince became the mirror of Kings and pattern of all Heroick performance he pursued his Title to the Crown of France bear the French at Agin Court and was in a Parliament of their Nobility Clergy and Commons ordained Heir apparent to the French Crown but lived not to possess it dying in the full carrier of his victories at Vincent Boys in France and was brought over into England and buried at Westminster He Reigned nine years five months and odd days Henry the sixth sirnamed of Windsor his birth-place of whom it was prophesied that What Henry of Monmouth had won which was his Father Henry of Windsor should lose He was a very pious Prince and upheld his State during the life of his Unkles John Duke of Bedford and Humphrey of Glocester after whose deaths the Nobility growing factious he not only lost France to the French but England and his life to the Yorkish faction He having reigned thirty eight years was overthrown by Edward Earl of March descended by the Mothers side from Lionel Duke of Clarence second Son to King Edward the third was arrested and sent to the Tower where within a while after he was murdered and buried at Cherlsey since removed to Windsor Edward the fourth a prudent politick Prince He after nine bloody Battels especially that of Tawton in which were slain of the English thirty six thousand on both sides was at last quietly seated in his dominions of England and Ireland Reigned twenty two years one month and odd days and was buried at Windsor Edward the fifth his Son a King proclaimed but before his Coronation was murdered in the Tower Richard the third brother to Edward the fourth was Crowned King ascending to the same by steps of blood murdering King Henry the sixth and Prince Edward his Son 3.