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A62214 The second Spira being an example of an atheist who had apostatized from the Christian religion, and dyed in despair at Westminster, Decemb. 8, 1692 : with an account of his sickness, convictons, discourses with friends and ministers, and of his dreadful expressions and blasphemies when he left the world : as also a letter from an atheist of his acquaintance, with his answer to it / publish'd for an example to others, and recommended to all young persons to settle them in their religion by J.S. Sault, Richard, d. 1702.; J. S. (J. Sanders); J. S., Minister of the Church of England. 1693 (1693) Wing S733; ESTC R1947 20,486 71

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've undeceiv'd me now it s too late I was afraid of nothing so much as the Immortality of my Soul now you have assured me of that you have ascertain'd me of that you have ascertained me of a Hell of a fearful Expectation of Judgment of a Portion among those that have apostatiz'd from their Religion of the Lot of Atheists and Denyers of Christ You have now sealed my Damnation by giving me an Earnest of it I mean a wakened Conscience that brings my Sins into my Remembrance reckoning up the numerous Catalogue for which I must go and give an an Account Oh Apostate Wretch from how great Hopes am I fallen Oh that I had never known what Religion had been then had I never deny'd my Saviour nor been so black an Heir of Perdition I was so surprized at such kind of Expressions that I stood speechless for a considerable Time for having received the Character of a Person that had imbibed some atheistical Principles I little expected such a desperate Change but rather that I should have an hard Task of it to consider seriously of a future Life But so soon as I could recollect my self I said Sir I would desire you to take heed how you violate the Mercy of God and think so slightly of the Sufferings of Christ as if they were not sufficient for the Redemption of the greatest Sinner This may be a Delusion of the Devil who would now hinder you from Repentance and Faith in Christ I hope if I have convinc'd you of the Immortality of the Soul 't is to a good End for the way to cure a Distemper is first to know it if you had dyed ignorant of it you had been miserably undeceived in another World whereas knowing it now you have an Opportunity and some time left to prepare for your welfare As to the Mercy of God in Christ I once knew and tasted what they are which is now part of my Curse in that I am more sensible of the loss of them They are I will grant you sufficient to those that have any share in them but what 's that to me who have denyed Christ Who have daily crucified him afresh and put him to open shame The Devil has nothing to do with the Torture I undergo 't is no Delusion of his but the just Judgment of God upon me and your Convictions are also part of my heavy Judgment in that you have given me a sensible Horror of my Sin by proving my Soul immortal whereas had I gone streight to Hell in my old damnable Opinions I had endured but one Hell whereas I now feel two I mean not only an inexpressible Torture which I carry in my Breast but an Expectation of I know not what a Change Oh that I were in Hell that I might feel the worst And yet I dread to dye because that worst will never have an end All that he spoke was with an Air of such horror and eagerness as in scarce be imagined indeed it had such Effects upon me that I knew not what to answer I trembled at the Judgment of and I remember I wisht within my self that one or two of the loosest Atheists in the Age had been there verily believing it would have put a stop to their Impiety The Gentleman was got to Bed refusing all Sustenance and sweating through Violence of his Torments in the most prodigious manner that ever I saw or heard of As soon as he was got to Bed I desired to pray by him before I took my Leave which with much Reluctance he consented to In the midst of Prayer he groaned extreamly tossing and turning himself as if he had been under the deepest Agonies of Death When Prayer was over I ask'd him how he did and why he groaned after such a rate in Prayer time To which he answered As the Damned in Hell which lift up their Eyes in Torments and behold afar off the Saints in Abraham's Bosome have their Torments thereby doubly enhansed first by reflecting on their own Misery and then taking a prospect of the Beatifick Vision they have lost even so I who know my self to be hardned and sealed unto Damnation hearing the Prayers of the Righteous to which God Almighty's Ears are always open granting their Requests this encreasing my Torments to think how I am exclued from such a priviledg and have no other Portion left me but Blaspheming Weeping and Wailing and Gnashing of Teeth for ever Pray Sir said I Consider that there 's a vast deal of difference betwixt you and those that are in Hell they are so irrevocably for ever-more without any opportunity of Reprieve or hopes of Pardon but you are yet alive and have Promises belonging to you in common with other Sinners Christ died for Sinners and God hath Sworn by himself that he delights not in the Death of a Sinner but rather that he should turn from his Wickedness and Live and that at what time soever a Sinner returneth from the evil of his ways he shall receive pardon To which he reply'd with his usual earnestness I 'll grant you as much difference betwixt me and those that are in Hell as betwixt a common Devil and a Devil Incarnate If these are irrevocably lost without opportunity of reprieve or hopes pardon and I am yet alive what then what 's the Consequence not that the Promises belong to me in common with other Sinners nor to any Sinners but such as Repent Believe If Christ dy'd for Sinners 't is for such as Repent and Believe but tho' I would I can do neither I have outstood my Day of Grace and am hardned and turned Reprobate If God delights not in the death of Sinners 't is of such Sinners as repent and return unto him but his Justice will vindicate it self upon such obstinate perverse Sinners as I who have deny'd his Power and Providence both in my Words and Actions and now he has met with me for it and oh 't is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God If God was not against me I should not value it tho' all the Legions of Hell engaged me tho' all the Power and Malice of Men joined in one Complicated Body to study and excuse the utmost Barbarities that Flesh and Blood could inflict upon me but when an Angry Irreconcilable God looks upon his Creature in Wrath and consigns him over to his Eternal Vengeance and Fury this is intolerable inexpressible afflicting and grievous Ah who can dwell in everlasting Burnings Oh ye that have any hope and have not yet past your Day of Grace Cry mightily to God Day and Night think no labour too much which secures you from the Wrath of God Oh who can stand before him when he is Angry what Stubble can resist such a Consuming Fire This and more to the same purpose he spake with so deep a Concern the Tears trickling all the while down his Cheeks that no Body in the Room
making your Body Sound and Vigorous Sickness and Death are the common Lot of Mankind and to Repine and Grieve at the bearing of this Lot is to Combat the Laws of Nature and Fight against Impossibilities what Wise Man Repines at the Heat in Summer or Cold in Winter or troubles himself that the Sun ever goes out of our Hemisphere all the Night time a Common Evil that every Body bears ceases to be an Evil because there 's no one has a better Fortune to compare with it and without Comparison nothing can be said to be better or worse thus also a Good made common Palls into Indifferency from the same Reasons But perhaps your Melancholy suggests unto you that 't is a dismal thing to Launch out into an unknown Abyss to be you know not where nor what I Answer I Dream sometimes of frightful things and the Ideas that I have of them impress as afflicting Resentments upon my Spirits as if they were real but when I awake all vanishes Thus if we will examine Death and its supposed Consequences by the Prejudices of a Melancholy and Distracted Brain we may be Miserable proportionable to the heighth of our Folly but if by our Reason we take a view of these Formidable Monsters they grow tame and familiar to us I would demand of him that Asks me What Estate I shall be in after Death What Estate he was in before Life Pain and Pleasure will leave their Impressions upon a Humane Spirit 't is as natural as Wax to receive the Impression of that Seal by which it is Sealed Therefore is I was either Happy or Miserable before I commenced Humanity I must still retain some Impression of it but I now do neither therefore shall do neither hereafter I came out of a State of Nothingness and shall return into the same again as the Flame of an extinguished Candle dissolves and loseth it self in the Circumambient Air even so the Taper of Life vanishes into pure AEther and is no more when the Laws of the Vnion of the Soul and Body are violated and broken Death it self is nothing and after Death there 's nothing and why should I be afraid of Nothing Take Courage Man and either Die like your self Master of your Fate and Happiness so long as it is to be kept or Recover and Live Worthy the Character of a Person that knows how either to Live or Die So Wishes Your real Friend and Servant A. B. I had no sooner read this Letter through but he surpriz'd us all with repeated dismal Groans as if his Soul had been strugling under the last Throws of Separation We thought it not convenient to press for the Reason of it considering that Human Nature feels or at least supposes an Ease by complaining of the Evil it suffers and it happened according to our Expectations for at length he broke out into these Afflicting imprecations Cursed be the Day wherein I commenced such a fatal Friendship Oh unhappy Time when first I imbib'd these Atheistical Principles When first I exchanged the Christian Faith for the Creed of Spinoza and the Leviathan When first I relinquisht all reveal'd Religion for the natural one and the last for none at all When casting his Eyes upon me he said I am not able to write an Answer to that Letter though I earnestly desire there should be one nor is it worth my while to get an Amanuensis for that purpose for I suppose I shall have no occasion to write any more I 'm also sensible that you might be better able to answer such a Letter than I and yet my present Circumstances are such I being not only a Party but the dismal subject Matter my self that what comes from me may make a deeper impression upon the Spirit of my Friend than what comes from a strange Hand therefore you will oblige me if you will only lend me your Hand and let me dictate which I freely offering he ordered a Chair to be set on the other Side of the Bed thinking it convenient to be as secret and free from Noise and Diversion as possibly he could And then he proceeded SIR BEing not able to use my own I have borrowed another Hand to answer yours possibly I may subscribe my self You say well It s a gratefuller Office to endeavour to remove the Evils of the Mind than of the Body What you urge of the common Lot of Mankind as Death and Sickness I could wish it were my Case but mine alas is a discovery that I pay dearly for viz. That Despair and Heli is the common lot of Atheists Now your Arguments cannot reach my Case unless you first prove that Atheism is as inevitable as Death and Sickness and that therefore the effects of it are to be born patiently unless a Man will combat Necessity and fight against the Laws of Fate Your way of arguing is such as I have us'd my self formerly and I cannot but wonder now how I could think it conclusive Perhaps I never indeed thought of that but was pleased with it because I wish'd it to be true and because I saw it my Interest that it should be so If you please I 'll just make a Reflection or two upon what you have writ and then give you my Sentiments of the whole matter You say That if we examine Death and its supposed Consequences by our Reason those formidable Monsters grow tame and familiar If by our Reason you mean either the peculiar Creed of Atheists or the common Reason of Human Nature I am sure those Monsters will be less tame and familiar the more you think of them for since no Reason discovers what an unexperienc'd death is or the unknown change consequent thereupon how can we judg of things that we know not Reason as long as you please upon things that you are ignorant of and at last you will be as far from Truth and Satisfaction if not farther than when you first began like him that demanded a considerable Time to tell what God was and when that was expired he demanded yet a greater and being ask'd why he did so he replyed the more he thought the less he knew of him It might have been retorted on him though the same History gives no account of it Why then did he petition for means of greater Ignorance and Confusion Your Argument is extream weak about a pre existent and future State viz. I retain no impression of Happiness or Misery that I had in a pre-existent State therefore shall retain none in a future State How that 's a consequence in any Rules of Logick I see not Next you would have me believe upon your bare Word That Death is nothing and that after Death there 's nothing Pray how do you know either having not yet tryed there are a great many that say the contrary I have only concerned my self as to the rationality of your Letter that I might induce you to believe I am not
their Kinsman and with Amazement at the dreadful Judgment of God upon him But in in the midst of their Sorrows they had the Prudence to think of the Reputation of their Family and to provide for as much Secrecy as they possibly could in such a Case for the Rumor of a Man in Despair beginning to spread they conveyed him by Night to other Lodgings but he was grown so very weak that notwithstanding the Care of those who conveyed him in the Chair it had like to have proved fatal to him for he fainted away several Times but they got him into his Chamber and to Bed as soon as they could After a little Rest he yet found so much strength as to express himself thus I am not concerned to enquire whither you have brought me or your Reasons for so doing it had been something if you had brought my Person hither without my Horrors and accusing Conscience or if you had changed my unhappy State with my Lodgings but my Torments are rather the greater than before for I see that dismal Hour is approaching and just at hand when I shall bid you all a sad Farewel The Doctors that had been with him in the beginning of his Sickness were again sent for and they yet declared they could do nothing so long as the Disturbance of his Mind was the Cause of his Weakness only they ordered him some Cordial Julips which they said might perhaps strengthen his Nature so that he might live two or three Days longer My Business called me away for a Day or two and I came again upon Thursday Morning pretty early the Day of his Death When I came into the Room I enquired of his Friends how he had spent his Time who had been with him what Discourse or Expressions had dropt from him And they told me in general he had little Company and that his Expressions were much shorter than before being now unable to speak many wordstogether yet that what he did speak seemed to have more Horror and Despair in it than formerly Afterwards I went to his Bed-side and saw perfect death in his Face mixt with such Amazement and Anguish that it was the saddest Spectacle I ever saw in all my Life-time I askt him how he did To which he reply'd Damn'd and lost for ever I desired him not to entertain such a Thought the Decrees of God were secret and God might punish him thus in this life to make him fit for a better They are not said he secret to me but discovered for my greater Torment and my Punishment here is for an Example to others and for an Earnest to me of my own Damnation Oh that there was no God or that this God could cease to be for I am sure he will never have Mercy upon me Alas said I there 's no contending with one Creator therefore forbear such words as may provoke him more True reply'd he there 's no contending I with there were a possibility of getting above God that would be a Heaven to me I entreated him not to entertain such a Blasphemy for Here he interrupted me saying Read we not in the Revelations of those that blasphem'd God because of their pains I am now of that number Oh how do I envy the happiness of Cain and Judas But reply'd I you are yet alive and do not feel the Torments of those that are actually in Hell To which he answer'd This is either true or false if it be true what are my expectations and how heavy will my Torments be if I yet not feel the uttermost But I know that 't is false and that I now endure more than the Spirits of the damn'd in Hell for I have the very same Tortures upon my Spirit as they have besides the Torments I endure in my Body I believe that at the day of Judgment the Torments of my Mind and Body will be both of 'em more intense but as I am now no Spirit in Hell endures what I do How gladly would I change my condition for Hell And how earnestly would I intreat of my angry Judge to send me thither if I was not afraid that he would out of vengeance deny me Here he clos'd his Eyes a little and began to talk idly and besides himself every now and then groaning and gnashing his Teeth but when he open'd his Eyes and lookt about he grew sensible again and felt for his own Pulse saying How lazily my Minutes pass on When will be the last Breath the last Pulse that shall beat my Spirit out of this decay'd Mansion into those desir'd Regions of Death and Hell Oh! I find 't is just at hand and what shall I now say I 'm now afraid again to die Ah the forlorn Hope the destitute State of an Atheist that has no God to go to nothing to fly to for Peace or Comfort Here his Speech fail'd him again and we all believing him to be just a leaving the World went to Prayer which threw him into an Agony in which tho' he could not speak perfectly he made what noise he could to hinder himself from hearing and turn'd away his Face that he might not see the Action which we perceiving we recommended him to the Mercy of God and gave over His Speech return'd not again for a considerable time but he fixt his Ghastly Eyes upon us and by the Air of his Countenance shew'd that we had not a little disoblig'd him And as soon as he cou'd speak he said Tygers and Monsters are ye also become Devils to Torment me and give me a Prospect of Heaven to make my Hell the more intollerable Alas Sir reply'd I what Interest can we have in making you miserable 'T is our desire of your recovery and reconciliation with God that casts us down at the Throne of Grace if we must not seek assistance at the hand of God where else should we seek it If God denies who else can give it If he will not have Mercy whether must we go for it To which he reply'd Ay that 's the Wound God is become my Enemy and there is none so strong as he to deliver me out of his Hand he consigns me over to his Eternal Wrath and Vengeance and there is none that is able to Redeem me Was there another God as Mighty as he who would Patronize my Cause or was I above or Independent of God then I could Act and Dispose of my self as I pleased then would my Horrors cease and the Expectation and Designs of my Formidable Enemy be frustrate but this cannot be for I Here his Voice failed him again and he began to struggle and gasp for a little Breath which having recovered with a Groan so Dreadful and Loud as if it had not been Humane he Cried out Oh the insufferable Pangs of Hell and Damnation and so he Died Death setling the Visage of his Face in such a Form as if the Body tho' Dead was sensible of the Extremity of Torments How God disposed of him we know not Secret things belong to the Lord to us Charity and Hope yet not so much as to make this no Example to us for such Instances are signalized on put pose to Teach us Fear and Reverence to Judg our selves and use the utmost Diligence and Care to make our Calling and Election sure FINIS Books lately Printed for John Dunton THE late Tryals of several Witches Published by Cotton Mather The sense of the United Nonconforming Ministers against some of Mr. Dacy's Erroneous Opinions Casuistical Morning Exercises the Fourth Volum Heads of Agreement assented to by the United Ministers The Country's Concurrence with the London Ministers by S. Chandler The Second Edition of Gospel-Truth stated A Defence of Gospel-Truth being a Reply to Mr. Chancy's First Part. A Discourse shewing what Repentance of National Sins God requires c. The Vanity of Childhood and Youth these Four last written by Dan. Williams The Life of Mr. Tho. Brand by Dr. Annesley The Mourners Companion by John Shower A Practical Discourse on Sickness and Recovery Early Religion or a Discourse of the Duty of Youth Fall not out by the way or a perfwasion to a Correspondence between Brethren of the same Faith by T. Rogers M. A. The Life and Death of the Reverend Mr. Eliot by Cotton Mather Mr. Barker's Flores Intellectuales both Parts Mr. Increase Mather's Sermon to a Condemn'd Malefactor Mr. Quick's Young Man's Claim to the Sacrament A Practical Discourse on the late Earthquake Mr. Crow's Vanity of Judicial Astrology Mr. Oakes Funeral Sermon Mr Kent's Funeral Sermon both by Mr. Sam. S●●●er Mr. B●●ton's Treatise of Fornication a Penitentiary Sermon The Celestial Pair by Mr. Buck.