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A42135 Essayes and characters written by L.G. Griffin, Lewis. 1661 (1661) Wing G1982A; ESTC R40526 25,748 100

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therefore if Woolsey served the King it was for his own base ends And if our Covenanting Zelots served God it was onely to make him a Patron of their Rebellion A loyal Subject is a good Christian who carefully and conscienciously observes both the first and the fifth Commandement and carries a fair Correspondence both to Heaven and Earth not robbing God to pay Caesar but rendring honour fear tribute homage and service to whom they are due It follows then He is no swearer for therein he would dishonour the Majestie of Heaven and pull down a judgement upon the Kingdome Because of Oaths the Land mourns And where the Land mourns I know not how the King should be merry He who speaks treasonable words deserves death then what will become of swearers and blasphemers who dayly speak treasonable words against the King above Neither is he one of those Pot-Champions who have nothing to manifest their faithfulness but that they talked of his Majestie in the Tavern he remembers the King in his Prayers oftner then in his Cups and is very sensile of that Cup which his Saviour and his Soveraign both drank of and hath chosen rather to pledge them in a bitter draught of Affliction spiced with sequestration and imprisonment and having a block or Gallows at the bottome then to tipple in those base Elements of Wine and Beer for to drink bowls and glasses of Sack will sooner increase the wealth of the King of Spain then the health of the King of England In a word although it may be more easie to shew you what he is not then what he is he is a prudent Counsellour a faithful Informer and a valiant Souldier like Joseph to King Pharaoh like Mordeca to King Ahashuerus and like Monke to King Charles A Male content IS a thing quite contrary to a Temporizer for he swimmes alwayes against the Tide His chief end is that he may be taken notice of in the World and like Theudas he boasteth himselfe to be some body he is an Enemy both to Civil and Religious Ordinances and is offended at that which even God himself hath set up He was not pleased in the dayes of the Old King nor contented in the time of Tyranny neither is he satisfied now but having seen two dayes and a night he hath still continued in an unquiet condition for in the day time the heat of the Sun hath molested him and in the night he hath barked at the moon He is not altogether void of learning but hath Philosophy enough to make him an Atheist And Divinitie to serve him to take Gods Name in vain Yet he is a meer child in Knowledge continually crying and whining and knows not what he would have His ignorance is joyned with willfulnesse which makes it beyond the cure of a Pestel Morter He hath been used to Cant very Highly which hath endangered if not effected the cropping his lugs but such a poor punishment doth but harden him in his folly for they cannot circumcise his heart with his ears In short he is a mere Lilburn or King-Fisher Who though you should hang him up would turn his breast against the wind A noble Spirit IS one that hath really attained to that which King Agrippa was almost perswaded unto that is Christianitie which is a kind of Nobilitie that comes by the second birth much more excellent then that of blood yet if he be of an honorable Family it adds lustre to his Religion and makes his vertues more conspicuous However he hath a more then ordinary birth-right not only above all other Creatures as a Man but above other men as a Christian and is possessed of not only the one Talent that is Natural Reason and the two that is the Law of Moses but also of the five that is the Gospel of Christ Thus by Adoption he is the eldest brother and his Portion is more then double the Jews and the Heathens And by the improvement of these Talents he is grown very rich in grace having found out and purchased that Treasure which is hid in a Field redeemed his time renued his Covenant and bought the Truth which is better then Riches better then Riches indeed for it is a sure stock not subject to the corruption of Moth and Rust or the violence of Thieves and Robbers but beyond the Reach of Rumps Devils or Sequestrators He Trafficks by his bountie to the poor as Merchants by Bills of Exchange freely disbursing part of his Estate here well knowing he shall receive it a thousand fold hereafter Nay more he hath learned the highest point of Religion that is To doe good to them who doe evil to him and this is Christians Vnguentum Armentarium which heals the Patient by being applied unto the instrument wherewith he is wounded To conclude he is compounded of an Ounce of Serpent and a Pound of Dove Martha and Mary a Protestant Faith and a Roman Catholick Charitle A bad Wife WHen the common enemy of Mankind Satan had obtained a commission from the high Court of Heaven to afflict poor Job he took away his Sheep Camels Asses Oxen Servants and Children but t is observed he left him that cursed thing they call his wife Oh the subtilty of the old Fox Who in every particular affliction slew all his servants save only one whom he left to grieve him wiah the news of his losses and so likewise in his general calamity slew all his neer relations but only his Wife whom he left to vex and torment him for he thought he did him as much injury in leaving her as in taking his children When our first Parents made themselves Garments of Fig leaves to cover their nakednesse in what fashion they were I cannot tell but one translation cals them Aprons and an other Breeches and no marvaile for in London it is common for Men to weare Aprons but more common for Women to weare Breeches When Apprentices have served out their time and are made free they usually say they have buried their Wives It seems then they account their apprentiship a marriage if so let the words be termini convertibiles for without question marriage is an apprentiship In a word if you would know what an evil Woman is ask the Citizens of London they can best inform you she is a great burden and a grievous cross which none knows but he that hath her The R Parliament WAs the dregs and dross of a Senate a small number met together in the name of the and doubtless he was in the midst of them At Westminster they kept Shop and hired some wide-mouth'd Presbyters to Cry in the Citie and Countrie Pulpits what Wares they had to sell viz Religion and Reformation and two things were carried before the Speaker The Mace and the good Old Cause The one he had to shew his Authoritie and the other to cover his The Mace was like a golden or silver Dream which commonly Ushers in ill Luck and The good Old Cause like the Curtain in the Frontispiece of Argalus and Parthenia which hides the Argument and Contents of the book But at length The Mystery of Iniquitie appeared in its colours and all their promises proved like the Heathenish Oracles capable of a double signification for they did according to their pretence make the King glorious but after an inglorious manner wickedly accomplishing that which Caligula sinfully desired a general Destruction at one blow a Decollation both of Prince and People Thus England that had for many hundred years enjoyed the blessings of God in the happy constitution and lawful name of Kingdome was according to the Principles of Dippers rebaptized in bloud Christned Common-wealth signed with the sign of the Red-Cross that she might not be ashamed to fight under the Banners of disloyal Regicides Then was wee like Hugh Peters his strange Beast Monstrum Horrendum a thing like a Kingdome and yet no Kingdome there was more legs in one side then the other and the tail stood where the head should stand then had not the Tower so many savage Creatures as the Parliament House and the Serpents skin was not so monstrous a sight as the Scottish Covenant A long time they sate but to what purpose To weave Spiders webs to hatch Cockatrice-egs They made fine Cobweb-lawes that would catch little Felons but would not hold Grand-Traitors Pettie thieves did sometimes stand at the Barre whilest great ones sate upon the Bench and blind Justice prepared a pair of Stocks for one sort of Drunkards and a Throne for another as though it were a greater sin to be drunk with Wine then Blood But herein was the height of their malice and crueltie that as they had destroyed Gods Image in their own souls and Mans Image in the KINGS Body so they thought it necessary to leave our Caesars Image upon the pieces of money and for their Coyne devised a new stamp a new Inscription Deus nobiscum no wonder It was a right Motto for the Silver was their Emanuel and of the Moneyes they might truly say God with us But Heaven was just and for all these things God called them to an account They who for a long time had used tedious Prayers as so many Graces before their meals of Widdowes houses They which had swallowed up such sweet morsels of unjustly sequestred lands they who were intoxicated with the Wine of the Grapes of Naboths Vineyard began now to surfet fell extream sick and were necessitated to one of these Remedies either the Halter or the Act of Indempnitie As for those who died in their beds and had their Trials adjourned till the Day of Judgement although thier Deaths were not Answerable to their deserts yet they were suitable to their lives and their latter end were like their beginning and the rest of their actions They lived and died notorious thieves for as in their life-life-time they plundered the Church so at their death they rob'd the Gallows FINIS
him more fit to be set upon a Farmers Hovel to scare Crows then to serve the King in his Royal pallace they are blots in a Princes Train who have nothing to set them forth but gay cloaths and impudent behaviour For they carrie the stalls of pedlers about their knees and of Tinkers in their foreheads Indeed rich Garments are fit for honourable persons but servants ought to imitate the vertues of their Masters and not the fashion of their cloaths That which becomes a King or Noble Man is not decent for a Peasant or base fellow the Lyons skin would not fit the Asse In wearing Apparel we must observe three Concords the first is when a mans apparel agrees with his birth the second when it agrees with his purse the third when it agrees with his parts or breeding He that wears apparel above his birth forgets his parents he that wears apparel above his purse undoes his children he that weares apparel above his breeding is guilty of a false concordance in the rules of morality and is a very incongruous gentleman It is a vulgar report perhaps a vulgar error concerning his excellency the Duk of Albermarle that he once wore a wooden sword in a velvet scabbard It would be a safer point of faith for the Country-men to believe that in there are wooden Courtiers in velvet Coats It was ingeniously observed by the Fabulist of the flye that though she boasteth of her nobility yet she lives only in summer a true Hieroglyphick of a Courtier that flourishes only in the summer of prosperity and in the Sun-shine of his Princes favour We read that flies were a plague to King Pharaoh and so have Parasitical Courtiers been to other Princes If Domitian had rightly understood this he would have purged his Court from the one as well as his chamber from the other In briefe a prophane Sycophant in a royal Court is a flie He was at first but a maggot generated in the Carcase of some decayd family But now friends intrest have given him wings that which he most desires is a silver hook and that which he best deserves is a hempen line and having these two he is a fit bait to fish for the Devill An Vniversity Bedle. CAnnot be defin'd like Qui Church for the word Est comprehends both his genus and difference He hath got just so much Latine as to call a congregation in which worke his mouth is often opened to very little purpose and never stopt without great cost There is nothing so much staggers his faith as our Saviours miracle of feeding the multitude with five loaves and two fishes and nothing so much stumbles his obedience as a day of publick fasting and humiliation had he been of the Kings counsel we should not have observed Lent He accounts no plague so terrible as famine no vertue so difficult as temperance and no Treason comparable to the conspiracie of the members against the belly He sits down at a feast as a moderator in that great dispute betwixt Os Ossis and Os Oris but he never sayes to the Respondent Abunde satisfecisti The hungry Sizers wish their knives as deep in his panch as his in the beef for he is like to leave them poore reversions his guts and Gown sleeves are like Scylla and Charybdis for that which misses the one falls into the other In the temples of the Heathens there were two Idols Bell and the Dragon In the Churches of the Christians there are two Hieroglyphicks Time and Death Amongst the Heathens the Bedle might have served for Bell because he is a great devourer and amongst the Christians he may be an emblem of time for he is Edax Rerum Yet in the Vniversity he is not Idolized but made a laughing-stocke He is a Jack a Lent to the merry Sophisters and a mark at which the Tripos and his bretheren shoot their fooles bolts The cock is not so much throwen at on Shrove-Tuesday as he on Ash-wednesday Yet he is a man whose conversation is void of offence for he never does wrong to any but his Breeches His practice is contrary to that of the Pharises for he makes clean the inside of cups and platters He is a great example of patience in suffering all those Iokes Ieeres Quirks tricks and abuses that are put upon him He makes use of them as sower sauce to make his sweet gains have the better relish In a word though he bear the outside of an Achademian he is a man better fed then taught having a fat paunch and a lean pate a full purse and an empty brain he employes his tongue to find his teeth work and his life is like that of a Swine he is alwaies either crying or eating A Phanatick IS a new name for an old Heresie one of the Dragons Angels who being cast out of Heaven is now come to make war upon earth He would have you believe that he fights for the Gospel although the Gospel forbids fighting he calls his Captain Jesus a Saviour when in truth he is Apollyon a Destroyer When he pretends to worship God he intends to Massacre his neighbours and like Pilate mingles blood with his sacrifices Thus he abuses our Gracious Kings Mercy by committing murder in the Streets for when Justice is dormant in the Court cruelty is rampant in the Citie Peace and Truth are the Jachim and Boaz both of Church and State The Phanaticke doth really pull down the one whilest he professes to build up the other He scatters his blasphemous Libels in the Streets and high wayes as they that are infected with the Pestilence doe their Caps Gloves and Hand-kerchiefs but amongst all the plagues of Aegypt there is none like his When Oliver Cromwell tolerated liberty of erroneous Opinions it was as when Epimetheus opened Pandoras box for the one let out as many Diseases upon the soul as the other upon the body The Opinions and judgements of men are like their faces Amongst all those Millions and multitudes in the world there is not any two so like but they may be known one from the other Yet a thousand several faces though by some small token they may be known asunder may every one of them have the Image of man and a thousand several souls though they differ in some slight notions and circumstantial points of judgement may all of them have the Image of God But the Phanaticks and all that prodigious off-spring of the Rumps Reformation are Monsters in Religion having not the right make and shape of Christians but either adding to or diminishing from the holy Scriptures Though they are Giants in Rebellion yet they are but Pigmies in Pietie Antipodes in Faith Deficients in what they ought to doe and believe and Redundants in what they ought not and mere Heteroclites in Divinity Religion that should be a matter of practice they have made a business of Controversie the Itch of disputing is grown to such a scab in the