feign that she boyl'd him so long till she renewed hi Age. And Valerius Maximus tells you a Story of young Clodius Pulcher who being a dissolute young Shepherd and wholly dedicating himself to the Embraces of a Common and Infamous Syren Erubescendo mortis genere Consumptus fuit dy'd a Death which was a shame to rehearse for saith he Abdomine avide devorato saede sordide Intemperantiae spiritum reddidit The lower parts of his Belly being all eaten away he yielded his Life to the conquest of most nasty and sordid Intemperance The fury of tâ—is Distemper is antiently set forth by the Greek Poet Nicander in his Alexipharâ—aca wâ—o lived in the time of Attalus the last King of Pergamus 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 For if the vigour of Meclean Fury but once Begins to parch the Marrow of the Bones Wo worth the Man that finds not Surgeon out And if he scapes the first takes to'ther bout When wasted with inexorable Pains He moans the Anguish spread through all his Veins Oh cruel Pleasure that we buy so dear For one hours sport to plague a Man a year Surely said Eucolpius to pass through the several Hospitals where the Cures of this Distemper are perform'd is a Journey more pleasant than that of Aeneas into Hell to see a poor Shepherd with his Head and Chops muâ—â—led up like Bevis of Southampton in his Helmet lay'd all along upon the side of his Couch like the Statue of Thamesis pouring out a River from the Urn of his Mouth To hear the strange Noises and hollow Sounds that others make having lost the Oâ—gans of Speech how they curse and ban the Artist for not having made their new Noses according to Directions for having made a new Pallat more like the Roof of an Oven than to be put into the Mouth of a Gentleman Go a little further and you shall hear another â—uming against the cause of his Misfortune a plague of all Religious Syrens had she not told me she had been one of Baxter's Hâ—arers she should have been damn'd ere I wou'd have medled with her How I came by this sad Accident cry's another Heav'n knows for I have not laid with any but my own Shâ—pherdess this half year but he is soon taken up short by his fellow in Affliction Hell take your Shepherdess for me for I had to do with her but a week since and she gave me this A huge mountainous Shepherd Grave and Elderly had been claw'd off by a little diminutive Pigmy and he sate in his Indian-Gown with a blew Satin-Cap Laced and Bordered with a Rich Point comforting himself up with Hall's Meditations Shakespear and Foxe's Book of Martyrs and giving wholsom Advice to all that came to sâ—e him O my dear Friends and Companions quoth he have a care of Syrens little approaching to a door fast lockt ye might discover through the Key-hole a poor Shepherdess disconsolately creeping about the Room lamenting and sighing to her self and at length heâ—ving a Glass of Liquor to her Mouth which went down with so many sour Faces and with so much reluctancy that it seem'd to be neither Hippocras nor burnt-Claret Are these the sweets of Love quoth she The Pleasures of my Youth have sowr Sawce for I am undone and never shall be my own Woman again But the old Nurse that was with her cry'd Have patience and all will be well in due time ' â—was his Ignorance and you must pardon one another Pardon me quoth the other what am I guilty of Alas I beg'd as for an Alms to tell me the truth and he still cry'd it was a Strein that he got it at playing at Leap-frog I pityed him I nursed him and plaistered him till it was come to that I could almost look in at his Mouth quite through the nape of his Neck then too late I discovered my Error and his Untruth The Distemper is so general that a Man cannot shrink up his Nose in any Company for the shooting of a Corn against wet weather but they ask ye what hâ— you have got ' em Now as there are many Philosophers that have largely treated of Valour and Fortitude many that have made Essays upon Patience but none of these make any mention of those that so boldly and magnanimously Adventure Life and Limbs in the Combates of Venus He that looses a Limb in Battle reaps Honor and Scars beget Renown But let a Venerial Furioso with a Colly-Flower upon his Forehead Encounter Bacchus himself never so briskly his Nose which by this means he is forâ—'t to purchase of pure Gold is not so much esteemed as the others wooden Leg no man calls them Hero's but Fools And therefore Heroules is not brought in mad by the Poets for having the Disease but because he was such aâ— Fool to get it 't was a swinger and he dy'd on 't But bâ—cause Hercules the Hector of the World dy'd on 't that 's no Argument that the Hectors of Betâ—y-land should run such terrible Râ—â—quâ—s for the fag end of Hercules his Fame Therefore Nessus the Centaur who gave Dejanira her Doze gave the better Advice who being slâ—in by Hercules for vitiating his Mistress upon his death-bed left Dejanira this Legacy Give quoth he the same Clap to Hercules that I have given you and I 'le secure you he shall never love Syrens more The effect of which Counsel was good and doubtless to be followed rather than the Example of Hercules most fit for those that accidentally commit an Error to take warning by in time But they that try the Experiments for the Experiments sake deserves no better end than Hercules had but what Remedies Remedies more than there are Atoms playing in the Summer-Sun-Beams A Distemper that opposes the Generation of Man to set up and advance its own generative faculty For it has produc't and daily procreates such multitudes of Vermine and strange Monsters that the sultry Bogs of Africa never produc'd the like French Quacks Italian Mountebanks German Operators English Empericks Experienc't Hunters Vniversal Pillmakers Paracelsians Chimists Hermetical Astrologers Compounders Confounders Projectors Dissectors Injectors These made such an Alarm in the world that the Curats Parish-Clerks and Sextons nay the whole Prerogative Office was in an up-roar and all joyning together drew up a Remonstrance which they presented to Death One of the Curates in a formal set-Speech inform'd his meagre Majesty of the danger he was in how many new Pills Potions Waters Elixirs Spirits of Salt Lozinges and Chimical Extractions these Enemies of his had invented to his Destruction To commiserate the Ruin of so many Families that liv'd by Dust to Dust Grave-digging Bell-tolling Chancel-ground middle-Isle-ground and Belfry-ground To pitty the decay of the Civil-Law should they lose the Probat of Wills On the other side the people of Betty-land finding that they were now to be immortal fell to all manner of Debauchery Gluttonizing
Drinking Whoring to the height of all Excess laying all care of Health aside as altogether needless and frivolous encountring Claps and Pox with that boldness as if they had done it in defiance of Death making Lampoons against that poor Miscreant as if he had not been worthy to wipe their Shooes As for Old Time with his Scyth they bid him go to Harvest-work and labor hard in the Summer lest he is starved in the Winter some askâ— him why he did not make friends to get into the Charterhouse Death and Time too were not a little troubled to hear these things and therefore to understand the truth of their Practices they resolved to take a turn or two about the Town The main Obstacle was to get into Moorfields where the chief heads of the Rebellion liv'd for fear of the Prentices But time being the master of Opportunity bid him leave that to his Care so coming into the Street they beheld to their no small Astonishment all the Posts all the dead Walls all the Posterns all the Arches so be-plaistered so be-smear'd with Bills and printed Papers bidding open defiance against them as if the Bricks and Stone would sink under their several burthens with the Support and Enablement of these potent Sear-Cloths By and by comes a Fellow with a Brush and pot of Past and his Arms full of Quarto's and giving Death such a shoulder as had almost thrown him into the Kennel claps up another brisk Challenge i' th very teeth of him Death let him go as he came for he did not like his Company and when he was gone fell to Reading In the first place No Cure no Mony Cheek by Jowl by that stood At the Gun in Moorfields liveth one that never fails Much ado had Time to keep Death from striking his Dart into his own Breast at the sight of thâ—se two confident piâ—ces of Mortality But when he lift up his Eyes and spy'd the Three Infallible Cures Dii and Pluto guard me quoth Death Three Infallible Cures Then wo is me poor Death I never knew my self till now a whole Crown for one quarter of Brandy for these bold Mortals have almost broke my Heart But time the subtler of the two gave him kind words of Comfort assuring him that he doubted not but in a short time to let these Boasters find how vainly they contested with so great a Prince as he was But as publick as they are abroad they prâ—tâ—nd the greatest Secrecy imagiâ—able at their own Habitations For the People of Betty-land whatever Revel-Rout they make when they get this Distemper yet when they find themselves tainted are the most cautious that can be to let theiâ— Friends Relations or Acquaintance know it They sneak into the Habitations of the Syrens with their Cloaks over their Noâ—es pop out again when tâ—ey see tâ—e Street clear but within doors are ashamed of no Extravagance for pleasure is a kind of drunkenness that makes men mad puts all the Senses and Pastions upon the stretch of duty and when the heat is over lays them tyr'd and â—anguid to sleep leaving none but the usual Centinels upon the Guard Suspicion Fear and Repentance FINIS Books Printed for and Sold by Thomas Fox at the White-Hart â—ver against St. Dunstans-Church in Fleet-Street and at the Angel in Westminster-Hall THe History of the Grecian War by Thâ—yâ—dides and Englisht by Mr. Hobbs of Malmsbury Folio The History of the Life Reign and Death of Edward 2d King of England Lord of Ireland with therise and fall of his great Favorits Gaveston and the Spencers Fol. Cowels Interpreter a new Law Dictionary fol. Daltons Office of Sheriâ—â—s fol. Daltons Country Justice Folio Boccaces Tales folio The Tryal and Condemnation of Stephen College at Oxford for High-Treason with his last Speech at the place of Execution fâ— stiâ—â—ht The Papers and Speeches of the late Lord Russel Cap. Walcot Iohn Rowse and Will. Hone at the place of Execution fol. stitcht An Examination of the state of the Case of the Earl of Danby â— An Account of the state of his Majesties Revenue as it was left by the Earl of Danby at Lady-day 1679. in a Letter to a friend occasion'd by his Lordships answer to an Examination of the state of the Case of the Earl of Danby by the Honourable Sr. Robert Howard â—ol stitcht The Examination of Edward Fits-harris Esq taken before Sr. Robert Claâ—ton and Sr. Geo. Treby publish'd by the order of the House of Commons fol. stitcht A true Account of the whole proceedings betwixt his Grace the Duke of Ormond and the Right Honourable Arthur Earl of Anglesey late Lord Privy-Seal before the King and Councel and the said Earls Letter of the 2d of August to his Majesty on that occasion With a Letter of the now Lord Bishop of Winchester to the said Earl of the means to keep out Popery and the only effectual expedient to hinder the growth thereof and to secure both the Church of England and the Presbyterian Party f. st A seasonable Address to both Housâ—s of Parliament concerning the Succession the fears of Popery and Arbitrary Government by a true Protestant and hearty lover of his Country quar stitcht The Bishop of Herefords Legacy to his Diocess being Sermons against Popery and a Treatise on the Sacrament quart Mr Whitehals Answer to Mr. Hobbs's Civil Wars of England Octavo Cottoni Posthuma or divers choice pieces of that Renowned Antiquary Sr. Robert Cotton Bar. Oct. Romes Tradition the Law and Gospels Destruction being a sober defence of the Church of England from the Faction of the Romanists with short historical Observations on the Actions and Policies of the Popes of Rome in 2 parts by Geo. Topham Rector of Baston and Prebendary of Lincoln Oct. Grammatical Drollery by Captain Hicks Octav. Hobbs's Tripos in 3 Discourses The first Human Nature or the fundamental Elements of Policy The second de Corpore politico or the Elements of Law moral and politick as of the Law of Nature Oaths Covenants several kinds of Go-vernment with the changes and Revoluâ—ions of them The third of Liberty and Necessity wherein all Controversie concerning Predestination Election Free-Will Grace Merits Reprobation is fully decided and clear'd the 3 Edition by Tho. Hobbs of Malmsbury Octavo Mr. Hunts Argument for the Bishops Right of judging in capital Cases in Parliament Oct. The Lord Hollis's Remains being a second Letter to a friend concerning the Judicature of the Bishops in Parliament in Vindication of what he wrote in his first and in answer to a Book Entituled The Rights of the Bishops to judge in Capital Cases of Parliament clear'd and also to the Grand Question c. To which is added Considerations in answer to the learned Author of the Grand Question c. by another hand and reflections upon some passages in Mr. Hunts Argument upon that Subject by a third Oct. An answer to Dolman alias Parsons upon the Succession written by S. Iohn Hayward Knight and Dr. of Laws Octav. The Ramble an Anti-Heroick Poem together with some Terrestrial Hymns and carnal Ejaculations by Alexander Ratcliff of Grayes-Inn Esq. Octav. Europe a slave unless England break her Chains discovering the grand Designs of the French popish Party in England for several years The 2d Edition Twelves The Roman Historian or compendious History of the Lives signal Enterprizes and Deaths of all the Roman Emperors from Iulius Caesar to Leopold the first now Reigning together with an exact Succession of all the Popes to this present time Illustrated with the Sculptures of the Caesars in Copper-Plates and Englisht from the Original Italian by a Person of Quality in Twelves French Intreagues or the History of their delusory Promises since the Pirenaean Treaty written in French at Cologne and now made English Twelves Sr. Walter Rawley's Remains Twel
sit in a Steeple with the noise of six Bells about his Ears but on the other side they are very good natur'd for if you do but now and then that is once in a month or so give them a fine Gown a rich Petticoat a rich Looking-Glass a rich set of Chairs or any such Bauble you shall win their very Hearts give them but a Neck-Lace of Pearl and look how many Pearls there be upon the string they shall give you so many kisses for them which is a great sign of a tender Disposition They have an excellent Art of making of Horns at which they are very industrious so that many of them get very good Livings by it And as for Astrology there 's none of your Bookers or Lillies could ever come near them for they 'l tell a Shepherd his fortune to â— hairs breadth to which purpose they will lye an hour together sometimes upon their backs considering the motions of the Stars Many of your Betty-land Shepherdesses are deeply Learn'd for having nothing else to do as they sit upon the Plains they are always reading Cassandra Ibrahim Bassa Grand Cyrus Amadis de Gaule Hero and Leander the School of Venuâ— and the rest of these classick Authors by which they are mightily improv'd both in Practice and Discourse Put them to their shifts and they are the beâ—t in the world at an Intreague or stratagem Ah! says the poor Soldier in Petronius that had neglected his Duty to comfort a poor Shepherdess that had been bewailing the death of her dear Melibeus for three weeks together Here while I have been spending my time to comfort thee the most distressed Shepherdess in the world they have stole the Criminal from the Cross whom I was set to watch and now must I be Crucified for him But she reliev'd him presently Rather than so quoth she with tears in her Eyes here take my poor beloved Shepherd and hang him up in the others place death makes no distinction of faces No less witty was the Shepherdess in Boccace who loving a Shepherd yet knowing not how to let him understand it went to one of the Priests of Pan telling him it was his Duty to rebuke such Shepherds as should attempt the Chastity of any Shepherdesses in Arcadia Look here quoth she such a Shepherd sent me this Purse of Gold but I defie him and his Gold call him Father and school him severely The poor Priest did so the cunning Shepherd smeling the Rat smiled to himself but outwardly promis'd to dâ—sist when the Shepherdess next day comes again and tells the Paiest She wondred he would be so neglectful in his Duty Why quoth the Priest I call'd him chid him and he promised never more to Molest your quiet Alas quoth she but the last night he got in o're the Garden climbes a Fig Tree that grows under my Window and had got into my Chamber had I not happily espy'd him and shut the Casement The Shepherd was call'd again rebuk't and chid but you may easily guess at the end of his sorrow but you must not think I have a Lords Estate to buy paper enough to set down all the Stratagems Devices and Wiles of the Sâ—epherdesses in Betty-land And therefore you must apply your self to the Learning of that Country and when you have read nothing else for 5 years together then if demanded you may perhaps be able to give an Account thereof The young Shepherdesses of Betty-land are very studious in Net-work Vulcan's Net was a piece of Botâ—hery to their Art They are made of Glances Smiles and the curling Hair of their own Locks so delicately twisted together that all the Skill of Arâ—châ—e cannot compare with them Of these Net-makers the Farmer Homer makes mention in his Book of Betty-land Agriculture call'd the Iliads 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Then from her Breast her Mantle she unloos'd And from her Bosom Charming Arts diffus'd Alluring Glances Mirth deluding Smiles And flattering Speech that Wisdom oft beguiles The first Net-makers in the world were Venus among the Gods and Pandora upon Earth who tho they were no Nuns yet their workmanship for Curiosity and Fineness was far beyond any thiâ—g that ever was made in any Nunnery through the whole Empire of Betty-land That Box of hers had such a confounded company of Trinkets in it that the woâ—ld had better have wanted fire and never tasted Rostmeat then to be so punisht as it has been for Prometheus stealing only a few lighted Charcoal out of Iove's Kitchin shame for his weak stomach that could not eat raw Victuals For the poor Farmers in Betty-land have rued the price of hot Caâ—dles ever since But there are a sort of elderly Shepherdessâ—s in this Country which in the Spanish part of Bettyland are called Maquerela's that with a force irresistible carry all before them Their proceedings are Militant for they Besiege Assault Batter Mine and Countermine and as if Victory were Entail'd upon them they never fail of Success Insomuch that their continual Conquests gave occasion to the Husbandmen of Greek Bettyland to â—ffirm that Cupid had rob'd all the Gods of their Arms. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Behold poor Gods how they unarmed stand Spoil'd of their Arms by Love of Betty-land Phaebus his Quiver Jove his Thunder misses His Corslet Mars and Helmet pawns for Kisses Jove's Son lays down his Club for Nanny-Cock And Neptunes Trident yields to Holland Smock Bacchus will give his Thyrsis for a Slut And Hermes Heels a Wench his wings shall Cut The Chast Diana will not go a Hunting At th' hour appointed when to meet her Bunting If thus the Gods to Cupid yield their Arms How can weak Mortals think ye scape his Charms The most Renowned of these Elderly Shepherdesses was Yâ—leped Hecate who after the Mode of later times for Fashions like the Spheres have their Circular Motions had always a kennel of lap-Dogs at her Tail 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 And aâ— her Table fed A Cry of yelping Shocks eat poor folks bread Such is the Efficacy of their Charms so much Courage in one of their Posâ—eâ—s so much warmth in one of their Jellies such the force of their Perswasion that had Vlysses met with one of these Betty-land Shepherdesses of the right stamp his poor Shepherdess Penelope might have spun more sheets in Expectation of him than ever she was like to make use of Thus therefore that subtle Man Ovid describes them Nec mora miseri tosti jubet hordea Grani Mellaque vinique meri cum lacte coagulo passo Quique sub hac lateant furtim dulcedine succos Adjicit accipimus sacra data Pocula dextra Without delay so many Grains of Pearl With Rubies mixt she strait presents the Girl She showrs sweet Hony and the strongest Wine Words may