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Word A	Word B	Word C	Word D	Occurrence	Frequency Band	MI	MI Band	Prominent
death_n	die_v	live_v	lord_n	20,420	5	4.6559	4	true

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ID	Title	Author	Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication)	STC	Words	Pages
A57118	Considerations concerning marriage the honour, duties, benefits, troubles of it whereto are added 1. directions in two particulars, 1. how they that have wives may be as if they had none, 2., how to prepare for parting with a dear yoke-fellow by death, or other-wife : 2. resolution of this case of conscience, whether a man may lawfully marry his wives sister? / by Edward Reyner ...	Reyner, Edward, 1600-1668.	1657 (1657)	Wing R1221; ESTC R3111	49,078	102

the death of husband wife or children for we can contribute nothing by our Tears to their felicity if they die in the Lord or if not we cannot mitigate their pain or misery thereby All our Mourning for them cannot revive or recover them Upon this ground David ceased mourning when his child died Why should I weep any more as if he had said It is to no purpose Can I bring him back again 2 Sam. 12.23 We may say of Immoderate grief in this Case what Solomon said of Mirth what doth it It can doe our deceased friends no good It may do us much hurt by weakening our bodies and sadning our spirits so much as to deprive us of Comfort in our lives and livelyhoods and disable or indispose us for duties It is best for us to do in this as in other cases when God doth things crosse or contrary to our desires or expectations even to resolve our wills into Gods will and submit to it patiently and acquiess in it 7. God can supply the loss The seventh and last particular Considerable to prepare us for parting with a dear vokefellow is this God can supply our loss by death of a loving Husband or of a helpful wi●e or of hopeful children either 1. 1 Mediately Mediately by giving us another husband or wife fitted for us and fitted with like gifts and graces to equal if not exceed the former or by rai●ing up some friends or others to be very helpful and comfortable to us in our Solitary condition when God by death hath taken away our dearest companion from us and we are left alone 2. 2. Or Immediately Or Immediately by himself He is the fountain of all goodness and hath all that Love kindness delight comfort help in him self that is or can be in a husband or wife or in any other Relation yea and infinitely more more then is in all the husbands and wives in the world more then they can possibly contain because God is Infinite as in his essence so in all goodness and they are finite and shallow vessels but of a smal quantity and hold but little When God takes away my wife or my husband or my childe from me I may boldly seek to him trust in him and expect from him not onely inward support but the Comfort and help of my yoke fellow or child that is dead The Lord can and I hope will be better to me then ten Husbands or wifes or then a hundred children The Lord is able out of his wisdome and goodness and by the comforts of his presence to make an abundant supply and reparation of the loss we sustain by the death of our dear yoke-fell wes or any friend with this Addition that the Lord liveth and shall doe for ever though Husband or wife or friends dye What are our Relations but pitchers or Conduit-pipes to convey comfort and help from God unto us when the Pitcher is broken we should go to the fountain Dulcius Ex ipso fonte Waters drink sweetest there God gave us all the comfort of our Relations at first and if he take them from us he is able abundantly to make a supply either by other creatures or out of himself Nihil dat quod non habet When a Husband dies leaves his poor wife and children to the wide world and hath nothing in the world to leave them then God saith to him Leave thy fatherlesse children I will preserve them alive and Let thy widow trust in me q. d. I will take the charge and care of them I will provide for them I will be a Husband to the widow and a father to the fatherless God hath given many precepts and made many promises concerning widowes and orphans provisional protectional and consolational Let me adde this by way of caution we should take heed our affections be not inordinately set upon any of our Relations be it a wife or a husband or a childe that we do not love them too well or delight in them too much or dote on them or make Idols of them for this may justly provoke God to take them from us or to try us sadly in them Whereas the way to keep them is to be willing to part with them out of submission to God who gave them to us and whose they still are and who is worthy to be served with his own Because Abraham was willing to part with his onely Son Isaac in obedience to a difficult command of God therefore he injoyed him with a special blessing Gen. 22.16 17. Mr. Burroughes in his exposition on Hosea 2.9 relates a remarkable storie from his owne knowledge that a Godly man desiring his friends to meet to blesse God for his blessings in a plentiful harvest after dinner was done a little Childe comes in who was indeed very lovely oh saith the father I am afraid I shall make a God of this Childe by and by the Childe was missing and presently they went to look him and he was found sprawling drowned in a Pond Consider this ye Parents saith Mr. Burroughes who have your hearts inordinately set on your children QUAERE Whether is it lawful for a man to mary his wives own sister Answer IT is Unlawful which I prove by six Arguments First Argument A man may not marry one that is near of kin to him A mans wives sister is near of kin to him Ergo A man may not mrary his wives sister First A man may not marry one that is near of kin to him for that is Gods precept or Rule for Mariage Levit. 18.6 None of you shall approach to wit in a Conjugal way unto any that is near of kin to him or to any kindred of his flesh or to any of his flesh or to any flesh of his flesh as 〈◊〉 Hebrew word may be rendered 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 for it signifieth both flesh and kindred This law commands that a just and due Distance be observed and preserved in respect of blood and alliance by persons that would contract Matrimony that neither of them do come near the kindred of thier flesh N●w kindred as appears by the Catalogue of Particulars instanced Levit. 18. from the 7. verse to 19. is not onely Consanguinity whereby Persons are of a blood but Affinity also whereby they that are not of blood are allyed by Mariage each to other Houshold government cap. 5. Yet Affinity or Alliance growes as Mr. Perkins saith by Mixtion or Participation of blood in the coupling of man and wife together in lawful mariage 2. But a mans wives Sister is near of kin to him because 1. Brother and Sister whether by Consanguinitie or Affinity are next of kin in a Collateral Line therefore Mariages bettween them are unlawful and incestuous 2. She relates to him in the first degree of Affinity Doctor Halls cases Out of our Civilians and Canonists a Learned Author that writes of this subject gathers 2 Kinds

to him Let me adde Is it not an honour to Mariage that a most sweet choice Piece of Scripture was indited by the Holy Ghost as an Epithalamium or Mariage-song called The Song of Songs that is Cant. 1.1 of all songs the most excellent because it celebrateth the Mystical Mariage between Christ and the Church and poureth forth a Torrent of Spiritual love that is between them The forty and fi●th Psalm is of the same subject A Psalm of Love or Mariage-Hymn setting forth Christ the bridegroom in his Glory and the Church his spouse in her beauty Reas 4. 〈◊〉 General consent Reas 4. From General Consent and Opinion which as some observe hath setled mariage in Dignity and Honour Regers of Matrimonial Honour and graced it with Priviledges and granted Immunities to it far above single life both in war and peace Vse 1. Slight not Mariage Vse 1. Think not slightly of Mariage as a low contemptible thing but highly as a Solemn Ordinance of God of great consequence and Importance to you wherein the future Comfort of your Lives is bound up Therefore enter not rashly into it but advisedly with due consideration for the choise of a fi● yoke-fellow Prov. 20. ● Every purpose saith Solomon is established by Counsel and with good advice make war I may adde with good advice ma●y because Mariage is not upon liking God hates putting away Mala. 2.16 but for life It is the tying of such a knot as nothing but death can loose it is a businesse of lasting importance An Errour therein may prove dangerous Shall we account that Relation or condition mean or inconsiderable whereof God himself was the Institutor and Minister Adam and Eve the first couple and Paradise the place where and Innocency the state or Time when Mariage was celebrated at first which Christ hath chosen to act into his Church unto Eternity Vse 2. Preserve the Honour of it Vse 2. Then Husbands and Wives should preserve the Honour of Mariage in their Carriage and not blemish or stain the Glory of it Either 1. By being light vain loose frolick in their spirits or demeanour for that is a dishonour to the Gravity of Mariage 2. Or by being froward peevish proud sullen discontented impatient disdainful in their spirits or carriage for that is a dishonour to the Amity Suavity and Society of Mariage 3. Or by unfaithfulnesse and bodily uncleannesse embracing the bosoms of strangers for that is a dishonour to the Unity Purity Chastity of Mariage Whoremongers and Adulterers God will judge Hebr. 13.4 if Magistrates do not 4 Or by loving any other man or woman in a conjugal way better then his own wife or her own Husband This is a dishonour to Gods Justification of mariage and to the mariage-bond and covenant which tieth Husband and wife to forsake all others in this way and to cleave in love one to another inseparably till death Vse 3. Honour God in mariage Vse 3 Then take Care and indeavour to honour God in your Mariage by marying in the Lord 1 Cor. 7.39 and 11.11 Qu. What is it to marry in the Lord Ans To make God the beginning and end of our Mariage 1 The beginning of it Make God the beginning of Mariage by seeking earnestly to God for councel direction therein for guidance of our Affection to a right object for the choice of a fit yoak-fellow for making the Woman a Comfortable help and the man a sutable Head expecting to receive one another as a special gist and token of favour from the hand of God For who findeth a wise findeth a good thing and obtaineth favour of the Lord saith Solomon Prov. 18.22 Prov. 19.14 And House and riches are the Inheritance of fathers a man may have a woman and a portion from her father but a prudent wife or the Qualifications of a woman to make her a wife is from the Lord the same may be said of the man Also by looking chiefly at or for the grace of God one in another as the load-stone of our love and the inkindler of our affections each to other Look more at inward goodness then at outward goods or beauty especially at sutableness in Religion Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers saith Paul 2 Cor. 6.14 Do not mary with Idolaters or Infidels this is 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 as when beasts of diverse kinds draw together an ox and an asse might not be coupled together in the law Deu● 22.10 We should be affraid to yoke our selves with any untamed heifers or bullocks that will not bear Christs yoke We should let Religion have a Negative voice in our choice that is not to mary any who are not really or hopefully religious When persons match themselves to those that are either profane and of no reglion or of false and contrary Religions then their wedding garment as one saith is made of Lincy wolsey Deut. 22.11 and the wedding Ground is plowed with an Ox and an Asse Such mongrel mariages brought destruction upon the old world Gen. 6.2 3. God forbids such ungodly matches Deut. Gen. 26.35 chap. 27.46 7.3 4. Esaus marying the daughter of the Canaanites was a great grief of minde to his father and mother and made Rebekah weary of her life If Moses mary an Ethiopian he cannot change her colour or her Qualities she will be a vexation to him Wo to Sampson if he mary a Philistine though he was the strongest man If Solomon mary Idolatrous wives they will turn away his heart after other Gods though he was the wisest man upon earth Kings 11.1.3 4 To marry unequally as a wise man to a foolish woman or a vertuous woman to a profane wicked man Charron is as one saith to binde the living to the dead which was the cruellest Death invented by Tyrants to make the living languish and die by the company of the dead 2 To make God the end of our Mariage Make God the end of mariage 1 by propounding Gods glory as the principal end of all our Mariage-comforts and enjoyments 2 By ordering our whole Carriage in that Matrimonial state according to the rule of Gods word 3 By depending on God for his presence therein and blessing thereon 4 By improving mariage to promote our serving of God and the saving of our own souls But more of these in the next thing to be confidered in Mariage II. The Duties of Mariage WHich are 1 Special of the one Party to the other 2 Or common to both and to be performed by both joyntly and mutually 1 1 Special duties of husband to wise 6.1 Love The special Duties of husband to wife are these 6. 1 A love to her which should be pure chaste sincere intire constant The Husband should love his wife 1 As Christ loved his Church Eph. 5.25 2 As the man loveth his own body ver 28. 3 As he loveth

by Enjoying our Relations with Submission to the will of God for time and measure how far and how long God pleaseth to Continue them to us and by labouring to get our spirits into such a frame or posture of preparation and readiness as freely and submissively to part with Husband wife children and to resigne them up to God when he takes them from us or us from them Acts. 21.14 and to say obedientially The will of the Lord be done We have any thing as if we had it not which we are willing to part with to God or for God or else we oppose our wills to Gods will as if we will have or keep persons or things whether God will or no. Objection Parting with a dear yoke-fellow is a great and sad Trial how may we be prepared for it 7 Preparatives for the death of a yoak-fellow Ans By serious and frequent Preconsideration of these seven particulars for when the the stroak is sudden it falls heavy but when it is foreseen and we are forearmed and prepared it may be more easily born 1. God hath a propriety in our Relations 1. Let us consider that God hath a special propriety in our Relations my husband or my wife and children are the Lords by absolute right whilst they are mine yea more the Lords then mine God made and qualified them for me and gave them to me or rather lent them for a Time reserving to himself his Interest in them As he doth in all other Mercies as he did in Israels Corn wool wine and flax If God take husband Hos 2.8.9 or wife or children away by death he doth us no wrong Math. 20.15 for he requires no more but his own Is it not lawful for God to doe what he will with his own Job 1.21 Did not Job bless God upon this account when he took from him what he gave to him God hath given us so much Comfort and benefit in our Relations and continued them so many years unto us we should rather be thankful to God that we have injoyed them so long then murmure or mourn too much because we must have them no longer 2. 2 Hope of their happines Consider we our hope of their happiness dying in the Lord that they are released wholly from all their pain sorrow and misery and are gone home to their fathers house to inherit a kingdome prepared for them and are now actually possessed of fulness of joy and rivers of pleasures which shall endure for evermore Therefore as Christ said to his disciples John 14.28 If ye loved me ye would rejoyce because I go to the father So if we love husband wife or children we will rather rejoyce for their Gain by death then mourn for our loss of them because the one is far greater then the other Paul would not have Christians to sorrow for their deceased friends to wit imoderately even as others which have no hope 1 Thes 4.13 to wit of their friends resurrection and salvation 3. 3 Hope of our going to them Consider we our hope of going to our dear Husbands wives or children who have got the start of us and are gone to Heaven before us and of our fellowship with them there in that place of perfect joy glory and felicity where they and we shall meet one day and never part more This was Davids Comfort when his Childe died 2 Sam. 12.23 I shall goe to him but he shall not return to me This was Jacobs comfort at his death Gen. 49.29 I am to be gathered unto my people that is to my holy fathers and friends or Saints who are gone hence to their everlasting rest and joy 4. Let us consider that the time is short 4 Shortness of Time 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 1 Cor. 7.29 It is a Metaphor from sailes which are wrapt up and contracted when the ship draws neer harbours 1. 1 Of life The time of life is short and uncertain neither Husband nor wife knowes how long or rather how little a while they shall yet live together or enjoy one another or how soon death may step between them and part them The consideration hereof 1. Should quicken us both to diligence and expedition in all duties of our Vocation general and particular and of our Relations because we have much work to doe and but a little time to do it in and a losse of time may bring great grief and misery upon us Some that have lain a dying would have given a world for time to repent believe and serve God in I have heard saith a reverend man some crying day and night call time again but time past is irrevocable and irrecoverable This should also quicken Husband and wife to preparation for parting one from another 2. This consideration may also comfort us that if the one party be taken away by death the other may follow soon after or not stay long behind and so both may meet in Heaven they know not how soon 2. 2. Of Peace The time of Peace may be short Troublesome times may come tribulations and persecutions all outward Comforts may be clouded in a day and they may be violently pulled one from other Will it not be a mercy either to husband or wife to be taken away from the evils to come and may not the Surviver of them when single perhaps shift better for him or her self This was Pauls resolution of the Corithians Question about mariage In 1 Cor. 7. that for those that were not maried it were good and expedient to keep them so considering The present distress ver 26. that is the persecution of Christians at that time for they were compelled by the Roman Tyrants and Pagans to fly with their wives and children for preservation of their lives and to flie from place to place as Aquila and Priscilla did to seek safety where they could find it As for those that were already maried he gives them this counsel Let them that have wives be as if they had none c. Times of persecution or of publick calamitie may make a separation between husband and wife It 's their wisdome to prepare before hand for parting the one with the other For this is one part of their preparation against evil Times 5. 5. Mixture of grosses Let us consider the Mixture of Crosses Troubles and sorrowes with comforts and refreshments in our matrimonial state and many times the former weighs down the latter God layes the same as wormewood upon the brests of mariage to wean us from it and make us more willing then otherwise we would be to part with our yoke-fellow as also to endear unto us both our fellowship with Christ which is altogether sweet and no bitterness in it and Heaven where there is all joy without any Sorrow at all 6. 6. The inefficacy of sorrow Let us Consider the inefficacy of immoderate sorrow for