Medicina Animae Or The LAMENTATION And CONSOLATION of a Sinner Together with severall Collections out of the Holy Scriptures By Joshua Mullard I sayd I will confesse my sinnes unto the Lord and so thou forgavest the wickednesse of my sin Psa 32.6 LONDON Printed by Tho. Harper 1652. To the Reader GEntle Reader I began some part of this Penitentiall Meditation long since when it pleased Almighty God to give me a sight of my sinnes and grace to hate and forsake them It may seeme strange that I should make a publicke confession of them when they are only knowne to Almighty God and my selfe But I find David confessing his Adultery and Manasses his Idolatry and S. Paul confessing himselfe to be the greatest of sinners and also I finde that whosoever confesseth his sinnes and forsaketh them shall find mercy I must confesse I did not intend to publish them but that I was prest by many of my friends to it but more especially when I had read the judgement pronounced against the unprofitable servant that hid his Talent Matth. 25.30 I thought it more safety to shew my imperfections to men then to disobey my Redeemer and to lose my Talent I desire thee Reader to read it all over before thou censure and to pardon the imperfections thou meetst with J. M. Medicina Animae Or The great Wound cured Being Pious Meditations and Prayers on the Lamentation and Consolation of a Sinner CHAP. I. O Who shall give water to my head and a fountaine of teares to my eyes that I may bee able to bewayle the losses of my soule with greefe agreeable thereunto for there is a manifest and great cause of sorrow when with the sight of my minde I doe behold my ancient dayes and my youthfull years in this Meditation my spirit hath fayled mee for I know what I was nay rather what I should have beene and understand what I am and fear what I shall be And the lesse I sorrow so much more doe I feare I would to God I sorrowed more that I might fear less But woe to me O Lord for now a long time thou smitest and yet I sorrow not Thou callest me and yet I heare not thou knockest and yet I open not the barre of my hard heart unto thee The sorrows of Death compassed mee round about and being filled with many sorrowes without I feele inwardly no sorrow that may work unto salvation and I feele not onely sorrowes of old age but I am a man of sorrow from my youth upward and all my dayes are full of travell and griefe and yet I sorrow because that alwayes sorrowing I cannot sorrow as I ought to sorrow O marvellous and unspeakable wisdome of the heavenly Physitian O wonderfull goodnesse of the most mercifull God! O singular benefit of him that is the Giver of all good things for thou O Lord givest unto me sorrow lest I should parish in pleasures and that I may learn to rejoyce without offence thou givest me sorrow for a time that I may not suffer everlasting paine thou afflictest my body that thou mayst save my soule Thou scourgest that thou mayest heale thou killest that thou mayest quicken But alas how unwillingly doe I receive thy salve out of the secret hand of thy mercy and being ignorant doe not acknowledge the sovereigne medicine of healthfull sorrow wherein thou art mercifully severe against me and how doe I acknowledge it if earnestly I desire to be delivered from sorrow who without sorrow cannot bee healed for how can hee bee healed without sorrow who by delight is made sicke Therefore O Lord make mee to sorrow and teach mee a saving sorrow that my griefe may bee turned into joy and that I may rejoyce in thy salvation CHAP. II. DAyes passe away and yeeres slide away but I unhappy man after so many corruptions of my soule after so most grievous and long follies doe not yet repent nor am not afflicted for my sinnes but continue the often falling into them againe and care not for rising from heaping new unto old and greater unto lesse What shall I doe O Lord or whither shall I goe when my last time shall come where shall I be hidden from thy wrathfull countenance or whither shall I flie away from thy face when thou shalt call mee unto judgement and require of me an account of the talent bestowd upon me what shall I answer unto thee or how shall I excuse my negligence when thou shalt sit upon thy throne of Majesty and command me to give an account of my stewardship to the uttermost farthing Surely I have nothing to say but Lord I beseech thee to answer for me for who am I that I should answer to thee in judgement but if thou compell me to answer I wil say as a man confounded trembling and fearing O Lord I have gayned nothing thereupon but have wickedly and vainely mispent and consumed thy talent by my base living I should better have sayd by dying but then I thought I lived but I was dead because I lived without thee my true life yea the life of a wicked man may rather bee called death then life I may say I sooner began to die then live first I did not understand what life was when I had forsaken the life of lives and fountaine of life And mallice did supplant my yong age in manifold wickednesses I was scarce come out of my mothers womb but I was already a sinner comming into the world being yet ignorant of sinne I did bewaile the sinnes wherein my parents begot me neyther did I altogether leave bewailing others sinnes when I committed my own which I knew and did not bewayle Being an Infant I followed iniquity and spent my childhood wherin I should have beene pure impurely There breathed slimy vapours from the sinfull corruptions of my flesh and the spring of my youth did shadow my heart that it could not discerne light from darknesse and the clearnesse of the mind from the mist of lust and trayterous and crafty pleasures did carry my weake and forgetfull loose age into the headlong rocke of lust so as I boyled up in wicked desires to be satisfied in Hell From my childhoode I grew to growing yeeres neither was I sooner growing towards youth then my wickednesse did grow ripe and I was bold to grow wild in divers inordinate lusts by the which beeing drawn by the griefe of wickednesse I was drowned to death and destruction the evill and wicked daies of my growing years passed on and I grew towards youth but I returned backwards in filthiness and vanity And as I was elder I was a yong man and came to bee a man but Vice alwaies flourished in me instead of Vertue I waxed old and grey and did not walk in thy waies but as a child being now an Old man I lived childishly Where then at any time have I bin innocent that I should bee judged of thee according to the time of my
my inward parts are inflamed without rest the meat which before I desired is made abominable to my soule and my drink is mingled with teares and confusion is before my eyes and redness in my cheekes when I remember how grievously I have offended thee O my God and in how many thoughts deeds and desires I have abused my strength and thy gifts I have spent in vanity Everlasting cares have consumed me and being carried hither and thither with sensless cogitations I have spent my time I feigned to my self dreams sometimes and rejoyced and vanished away being deluded in vanities and madness To conclude I lived in all kinde of pleasure in the world being banished far from the delights of thy house and if at any time the fear of death and the last judgement did quicken my sloath and for a little time call me from the deep gulph of pleasures by and by I returned as a dog to his vomit being dead in them I yet live and abiding in death I hasten to death and see death swift by comming to mee But let thy mercy quickly prevent me before the terrible day of misery and calamity doe come the great and bitter day that though I die I may live and declare thy mercies above all thy workes Look back Lord and behold how my soule lieth in her concupiscence sicke of the Palsey and is evill vexed therewith deliver it from death that it may cleave to thee alone who art only the true life and leaving all others follow thee that art above all say unto my soule O Lord God of my salvation be it unto thee as thou desirest make mee to heare this thy voyce a voyce of rejoycing and salvation that I may run after thee and take hold of thee and not let thee go untill thou sendest mee whole away for being sick to whom should I go but to thee that I may be cured or who can heale my infirmities but he that for me and mankind came down from Heaven that they may be healed of their griefs who can quicken but he that can mortifie and quicken all things who can save but thou O my God and Saviour save mee therefore and quicken me thou that art the life and salvation everlasting of all that put their trust in thee and to thee that art without beginning be glory without end To thee bee Praise and Honour to thee be continuall Worship and thanksgiving thou art the everlasting Spring of mercy for I was gone far from thee and did run away and yet thou doest speedily come to him that is sick and doth run away when he doth call upon thee and dost grant his health before thou hearest his sighs for to bee willing to bee healed is enough that thou shouldest heale and to bee willing to live that thou shouldest grant life and in the blessings of thy sweetness dost prevent the desires of a sinner that doth know himselfe therefore I will say unto thee I know my iniquity and what it is to know because all my bones are vexed within me and my soule is very much troubled for my sin Behold I lay all my iniquities before thy sight O my God that thou mightest heale and cure my soule because it hath sinned against thee for thou art a God that desirest not the death of a sinner but rather that hee should be converted and live for the dead shall not praise thee O Lord but wee that live doe blesse thee O Lord and do confesse that thy mercy is everlasting and thy compassions never faile CHAP. V. I Have revealed my miseries to thee O Lord not to make knowne my wayes unto thee that didst not know them all from the beginning and hast numbred all my steps for thou knowest the hidden places of darknesse and all things are naked open to thy eye and thou doest not only see but discerne the lurking places of our thoughts and the marrow of our affections but I uncover that thou mayest cover and protect I reveale that thou mayst hide and give mee an humble and contrite spirit and by the offering of this sacrifice which is most acceptable unto thee be mercifull unto me and forgive me my sins I have spoken many and great things and yet sayd little for the worme of my conscience doeth pricke mee in more I would to God it might draw away the rottenness that by grieving it might consume it and withall bee it selfe consumed but woe is mee for when I think I have made an end of telling my evills then am I constrayned as it were to begin againe and my memory being full of uncleanesse doeth abundantly remember much more filthinâ—sse for I have sinned above the number of the sands of the seas and if I had a hundred tongues and a hundred mouthes I shall scarse answer one of a thousand thousand yet that increaseth all my griefe that I cannot remember all my filthiness past and the fleshly corruptions of my soule for while I forget new sins I forget the old but those that I remember I will not hide not that I will love them again more but that I may love thee more earnestly O my God and that I remembring my wicked waies in the bitterness of my remembrance thou mayest be sweet unto me by the pardon of them But I have not purged the old but rather from them did spring up many new sinnes for the which I am as it were cast out from before thy face O my God and being deprived of the comfort of thy presence I fall almost into desperation knowing not whither I goe and who will look upon my face if thou turn away from me and as a Reprobate deprive me of thy sight I shall undoubtedly become hatefull unto all men and as a wanderer and a runnagate in the Land I shall be made a slave unto them when they shall aske of mee where is thy God and wherfore hath he put thee from him what shall I doe therfore O wretched man that I am or what shall I say when I see my self estranged from thy protection and forsaken in the midst of my enemies that fight mightily against me I will seek thy face O Lord and with sighes and teares beseech thee not to leave me nor in anger to depart from thy servant for all mine enemies follow me as a fugitive to destroy my soule and therefore I must seeke refuge at thy hands to whom I flie O my God my strength my health my refuge in the day of tribulation for as there is no God besides thee so there is no Saviour besides thee Thou therfore O Lord that knowest all my miseries and from whom the workes of my weaknesse are not hidden cast behind thy back all my offences and doe not remember all my old iniquities but save me according to thy mercy from all those that persecute mee and deliver mee because there is none can redeem me and save me but thou O Lord who savest all
yet thou hatest not the sinner neither dost thou rejoyce in his destruction therefore though he tarry long before his conversion yet thou dost patiently look for him O how sweet and pleasant is that saying wherewith thou hast given hope and comfort to my soule thou hast plaid the harlot with many lovers yet returne thou unto me and I will receive thee How delightfull and pleasant is that word wherewith thou comfortest sinners that are in despaire of themselves I if a sinner repent him for all his sinnes he shall live and not die for the death of a sinner is not thy will for with great joy I heare thee when thou saist that the sheepe that had gone astray shall be brought home upon the Shepheards shoulders and that the groat shall be layd up in the treasures the neighbours rejoycing with the woman that found it and the joy of the solemnity of that house did force tears from me when I read of the younger sonne that was dead and lived againe Therefore give O Lord unto my soul the voice of thy vertue and not of thy vertue alone which shaketh off the sleep of souls but also the beams of thy light which doth shew to men their sins but giveth light also to the hidden places of darknesse Let thy voyce sound in the years of my heart and say unto my sleeping soule why art thou so long oppressed with a deadly sleep and kept in Captive bonds It is now time that thou forsake thy sins and to returne to thy Maker that Redeemed thee Returne O thou Shunamite returne that I may behold thee to return and defer no longer to come to mee for I am the Lord thy God that calleth thee I am he that blotteth out thine iniquities for my selfe neither carry in remembrance things past Then will I say boldly to my soule turne thee to thy rest for the Lord hath done well unto thee go safely unto him and though thou be weary in thy wicked waies go on the swifter in the waies of goodnesse that thou mayest the sooner take rest be not made afraid for thy sins for if they be as red as scarlet they shall be made as white as snow as a Cloud they shall be put away and fear not to be accused of boldness where thou art praised for obedience Go and make hast O my soule unto him that came not to call the righteous but sinners and if thou art a sinner thy God is the God of sinners wherefore dost thou fear to go thou that art not called of a cruell Judge but by the Father of mercy that thou mayest obtaine mercy therefore go now willingly being called to mercy that thou be not hereafter compelled to go unto judgement In thee O Lord do I trust wherefore I will not be ashamed to confesse unto thee my deformities and blasphemies who was not ashamed to confesse them before men and to barke against thee Let the Pharises murmure and say who can forgive sins but God alone for it is God that speaketh unto mee and to whosoever that putteth his trust in him he that calleth me is mild and pittifull and in his wrath remembreth mercy and therefore upon thy words wil I assuredly come unto thee O my God my trust and my portion in the Land of the living I will come and fall downe before thee and not fear thy Majesty because thou callest me and that I offend not thine eyes when I shall appeare uncleane in thy sight I will wash away my filthiness with continuall tears and my ey-lids shall not rest from weeping but my bed shal be privy to my sorrow wherin I hope to please thee though I displease my selfe and being by thee converted unto thee I repent mee of those things that I have commited against thee that I may praise thee with a clear heart saying O Lord who is like unto thee for then is thy praise seemly in the mouth of a Sinner and hee that hath sowed in teares shall reap in gladness CHAP. VII HAve mercy upon me O Lord for I am in trouble and vexed with unspeakable miseries for flouds of iniquity doe vex mee and the waters have entred into my soule as a River that is overflown for my sins which I have hitherto dissembled and much neglected to confesse and amend are growne so high that they have passed over my head and bowed my minde and will to the concupiscence of sensuall desires yea made mee subject to the slavery of the Divell Woe bee unto me for I am mortally wounded and there is no health in me from the crown of my head to the sole of my foot for my enemie hath supplanted me and as a most cruell tyrant tormented me and hath deprived mee of all my senses leaving only my understanding thereby joyning the knowledge of my hurt and losse that hee might also increase my sorrowes hee had done little hurt if hee had deprived me of the use of all my senses and had made mee utterly senslesse in all my actions but he hath deprived me thereof for doing that which is good and hath violently enforced me unto evill and hath so infected my minde which is altogether bent towards things with a certaine astonishment of inward senselesnesse that she cannot feele her inward hurts for when I should have heard I was deafe and turned my eares from the truth when it had beene fitter for mee to stop my eares from hearing unprofitable things and the toyes of many men I was swift to heare and a gentle hearer Heavenly things I tasted unsavoury and my soule loathed all spirituall meats but I judged earthly things sweeter then honey or the honey combe I was blind and an earthly man in beholding those things that were good but worldly things I looked on with a proud eye and desired them with an unsatiable heart neyther in my senses alone but my members also which God gave me for the service of my soule did the ancient enemy shut up from mee the way of salvation and prepared such cruell ambushes against mee in this cruell siedge as I was never able to avoyde them and as often as I tried to flie away I fell into his hands for I did offend both by seeing and refusing to see by hearing and by being deafe by speaking and holding my peace to conclude I changed all the peculiar and common use of my senses and members into a filthy abuse burning in my uncleane desires for that I have transgressed all the Lawes both of God and man and Nature and have lived diligently onely observing the lawes of sin I would to God I had been only so and now were not but alasse because I am the same that before I was and nothing changed from that I followed the worst for my sicke will doth yet beare rule and my most soule and stinking soule that is filled every where with horrible sores that doth proceed only from it selfe doeth still persevere in the old evills
staffe of his pitty wherefore O Lord and Father albeit I am a sinner yet I doe not cease to be thy Son because thou hast made me and new made me again like as I have sinned so correct mee and amend me commit me to the care and custody of thy only begotten Son Jesus Christ our Lord Is it possible for a woman to forget the childe of her own wombe and albeit she should forget it yet thou O most mercifull Father hast promised not to forget the same Behold I cry and thou dost not heare mee I am afflicted with griefe and thou dost not comfort me what shall I doe or say being in this extream misery alas I am altogether comfortless and which is worse am chased from thy presence wretch that I am from how great good into how great evill am I fallen whither did I attempt to go and whither am I come where am I and where am I not how is it that I that did sigh after Heaven do now sigh through so great tribulation I have sought comfort and have found affliction and truly it is better for me not to be then to be without thee O sweet Saviour It is better not to live then to live without thee the onely true life where are now O Lord Jesu thine accustomed mercies wilt thou bee displeased with me alwaies be appeased I beseech thee and take pitty of me and turne not away thy loving face from me who to redeeme mee hast not turned away thy face from those that did mocke and spit upon thee I confesse that I have sinned and my conscience doth adjudge mee worthy of damnation neither is my repentance sufficient to make satisfaction nevertheless it is a thing infallible that thy mercy doth surmount all offences whatsoever be it never so abhominable wherefore O most mercifull Lord I beseech thee enter not into judgement with thy servant but according to the multitude of thy mercies blot out mine iniquities wo be to me at the day of judgement when the Bookes of our Consciences shall be opened wherein our actions are registred when of mee it shall be openly proclaimed see here the man and his deeds committed what shal I do O Lord my God at that dreadfull day when the Heavens shal reveal my iniquities and the earth shal bear witnesse against me verily I shal be mute and able to say nothing but holding downe my head through shame and confusion I shall stand before thee shaking and blushing alas what shall I say I will call and cry unto thee O Lord my God why am I consumed being silent nevertheless if I speake my griefe will not cease and if I hold I shall inwardly be tormented with unspeakable bitterness weep O my soule and make lamentation as a yong married woman for the death of her new married husband weep and bewaile thy misery for that thy Bridegroome which is Christ hath forsaken thee O anger of the Almighty rush not upon mee because thou canst not be contained in me verily there is nothing in me that is able to contain thee take pitty of me lest I despaire of thy mercy that by despairing of my selfe I may finde comfort in thee and albeit I have done that for which thou mayest justly condemne me yet thou hast not lost thy accustomed property of shewing mercy and pitty thou O Lord dost not desire the death of sinners neither dost thou take pleasure in the perdition of those that die nay rather that those that were dead might live Thou thy selfe hast died and thy death hath been the death of that death that was due to sinners and if thou dying they have lived grant O Lord I beseech thee that thou living I may not die let thy heavenly hand help mee and deliver mee from the hands of those that hate me lest they insult and rejoyce over me saying we have devoured him How is it possible O blessed Saviour that ever any one can despaire of thy mercy who when wee were thy enemies hast redeemed us with thy most precious bloud and reconciled us to God Behold O Lord protected with the shaddow of thy mercy I run craving pardon to the throne of thy glory calling and knocking untill thou take pitty on mee for if thou hast called as to pardon even when wee did not seek it by how much more shall we obtaine pardon if we ask it remember not thy justice O blessed Saviour towards mee thy creature remember not thine anger towards mee guilty but bee mindfull of thy mercy towards me in misery forget my Pride provoking thee to displeasure and weigh my wretchedness imploring thy favour for what doth thy sacred Name Jesus signifie but only a Saviour wherefore O Saviour Jesu be thou my succour and protection and say unto my soule I am thy salvation I doe presume very much of thy divine bounty because thou thy selfe dost teach us to aske seeke and knocke at the doore of thy mercy wherefore I doe aske seeke and knock at thy doore as by thy word thou hast commanded mee to do thou therefore that willest me to aske grant that I may receive thou that dost bid me seek grant me likewise to find thou that dost teach me to knock open unto mee knocking at the doore of thy mercy recover me being diseased repair me being crazed raise mee being dead vouchsafe likewise so to direct and governe all my sences thoughts and actions in that which is pleasing unto thee that I may from henceforth faithfully serv thee and that I may live and give my selfe wholely unto thee I know O Lord that by reason thou hast made me I do owe my selfe unto thee and by reason thou hast redeemed me and hast been made man for me I do owe if I had it to give thee much more then my self unto thee by how much greater then mee thou art who hast given thy self for me I have nothing else to give thee neither can I give thee this without thee take mee therefore and draw mee unto thee that I mâ—y be thine by immitation and affection like as I am by condition and creation CHAP. IX TAke pity O Lord take pity O mercifull Saviour of mee a most miserable sinner doing things worthy of blame and worthily suffering for the same being by thee daily afflicted for that continually I am found to offend if I ponder the evill which I daily commit that which I endure is nothing in comparison of it that which I have done being much more grievous then my affliction thou art just O Lord and right is thy judgement all thy judgements are just and true thou O Lord our God art just and full of goodness neyther is there in thee any wickedness because when we doe offend thou doest not unjustly and cruelly afflict us who when wee were not hast powerfully made us and when for our sins wee were guilty of damnation thou hast by thy wonderfull mercy and goodness set us in a state of
sing O happy soule who present dost Behold so great a King And from thy lofty throne surviewst The underwheeling Globes The sun the moon al the heavens In star bespangled robes O Christ the palme of warriors Vouchsafe me of thy pity To make me when I end my war A freeman of this City Grant me among these Citizens Thy bounties to pertake Meane while assist me with thy ayd A happy fight to make That warring out my time the rest In quiet I may spend And for my guerdon thee injoy For ever without end Amen A serious discourse concerning the Day of Death LET us imagine how the time being now come in which the sinfull soule is to be separated from the bands of the body with how grievous feare it is terrified with how great anguish of an afflicted conscience it is tormented it remembers the things forbidden which it hath committed it beholdeth the Commandements of God which through negligence and contempt it hath omitted it grieveth that the time which it had to repent hath been so vainly imployed it grieveth the imutable moment of severe revenge is so near at hand not possible to bee avoyded it would fain stay it is forced to depart it would faine recover that which it hath lost and cannot be heard it looketh backward upon the course of its whole life past and esteemeth it to be but as it were one onely little pace it looketh forward and seeth infinite worlds of time which shall never have end It lamenteth therfore for having lost the joyes of all eternity which it might have gained so quickly it weepeth likewise that for the short pleasure of the alluring flesh it is bereaved of everlasting happinesse it blusheth that for the substance sake which is to be meat for wormes it hath neglected that which should have been placed amongst the quires of Angels At length it lifteth up the eyes of its mind and considering the glory of the immortall riches of Heaven it is ashamed that for the love of the beggery of this present life it hath lost that glory againe when it looketh downwards upon the vaile of this world as upon a mist and contrariwise seeing above it the brightnesse of that eternall light it plainly perceiveth that that which was loved was but darknesse and night Oh if it could obtaine the favour to have some little time for repentance how austere would it be in life and conversation how many and how great matters would it promise to perform how strictly would it binde it selfe to piety and devotion in the meane season whilst the eye-sight faileth and whilst the heart panteth and the throat doth draw breath with difficulty whilst the countenance groweth pale and all the members of the body become stiffe through cold whilst these things and other such like happen as certain signes of death approaching all its works and words present themselves before it yea it s very thoughts are not wanting and all these give bitter testimony against it as against the Authour of them All its sins and iniquities are laid as it were in heaps before its eyes and those which it is unwilling to see it is forced to behold whether it will or no. Moreover on the one side of it it beholdeth a terrible troop of dreadful Devils on the other side a multitude of heavenly Angels the soule that lyeth in the middest quickly perceiveth to which of these companies it appertaineth for if there bee seen in it the signes and tokens of goodnesse it is comforted by the comfortable speeches of the Angels and by the sweetness of their harmonious melody it is allured to come forth of the body contrariwise if the darkness of its deserts and deformity of its filthinesse do adjudge it to the left hand it is forthwith strucken with intolerable fear it is troubled through the foâ—ce of the sudden violence that is used it is throwne down headlong and assaulted and poor soule is forcibly pluckt out of the prison of the flesh that it may be drawn to eternall torments with unspeakable bitternesse Now after it is departed out of the body who is able to expresse how many troops of wicked spirits do lie in wait to intrap it how many bands of frowning fiends being ready with cruell torments to afflict it doe beset the way to hinder his passage and to the end it may not escape and passe through them whole legions of them do assault the same Wherefore to consider these and such like things by frequent meditation is a soveraigne meanes to contemne the inticing allurements of sin to abandon the world and to subdue the unlawfull motions of the flesh and finally doth cause and conserve in us a continuall desire of attaining to perfection which God of his mercy grant us Amen ALmighty God and all mercifull Father which art the Physitian of my body and soule in thy hands are life and death thou bringest to the grave and pullest backe againe I came into the world upon condition to forsake it whensoever thou wouldest call me and now the Sumners are come thy fetters hold mee and none can loose mee but hee that bound me I am sick in body and in soule but he hath strucken me which in judgement sheweth mercy I deserved to die so soon as I came to life but thou hast preserved me till now and shall this mercy be in vaine as though I were preserved for nothing who can praise thee in the grave I have done thee no service since I was borne but my goodness is to come and shall I die before I begin to live but Lord thou knowest what is best of all and if thou convert me I shall be converted in an instant and as thou acceptedst the will of David as well as the act of Solomon so thou wilt accept my desire to serve thee as well as if I had lived to glorifie thee the spirit is willing but the flesh is fraile and as I did live sinfully whensoever thy spirit was from me so I shal die unwillingly unlesse thy spirit prepare me therefore dear Father give me that minde which a sick man should have and increase my patience with my pain and call unto my remembrance all which I have heard or read or felt or meditated to strengthen mee in this hour of my triall that I which never taught any good while I lived may now teach others how to dye to bear their sickness patiently apply unto me all the mercies and merits of thy beloved Son as if he had died for me alone be not far from me when the enemy comes but when the tempter is busiest let thy spirit be busie too and if it please thee to loose me out of this prison when I shall leave my earth to earth let thy Angels carry up my soule to Heaven as they did Lazarus and place me in one of those Mansions which thy Son is gone to prepare for me this is my Mediator which hath
reconciled me unto thee when thou didst abhor me for my sins thou didst send him from heaven to me to shew that thou art ready to heare him for us therefore in him I come unto thee in him I will call upon thee O my Redeemer Preserver and my Saviour to thee be praise with the Father and the Holy Spirit for ever Amen Who shall stay mee from my Father and my Brother and my Comforter I Owe God a death as his Son died for me ever since I was borne I have been sayling towards this Haven and gathering patience to comfort this houre therefore shall I be one of those guests now that would not come to the banquet when they were invited what hurt is in going to Paradice I shall lose nothing but the sense of evil and anon I shall have greater joyes then I feele pains for my head is in Heaven already to assure me that my soule and body shall follow after O Death where is thy sting why should I fear that which I would not escape because my chiefest happiness is behind and I cannot have it unlesse I go unto it I would goe through Hell to Heaven and therefore if I march but through death I suffer lesse then I would for God my pains do not dismay me because I travell to bring forth eternall life my sins do not affright me because I have Christ my Redeemer the Judge doth not astonish me because the Judges Son is my Advocate the Devill doth not amaze me because the Angels pitch about mee the grave doth not grieve me because it was my Lords bed O that Gods mercies to me might move others to love him for the less I can expresse it the more it is the Prophets and Apostles are my forerunners every man is gone before me or else he will follow after me if it please God to receive mee into Heaven before them that have served him better I owe more thanks to him and because I have deferred my repentance till this houre wherby my salvation is cut off if I should dye suddenly lo how my God in his mercifull providence to prevent my destruction calleth me by a lingring sickness which stayeth till I be ready and prepareth me to my end lik a Preacher and makes me by wofull pains wery of this beloved world lest I should depart unwillingly like them whose death is their damnation so he loveth me whilst he beateth mee that his stripes are Plaisters to salve me therefore who shal love him if I forsake him this is my whole desire now to strengthen my body with my heart and to be contented as God hath appoynted untill I glorifie him or he glorifie mee If I live I live to sacrifice if I die I die a sacrifice for his mercy is above my iniquity therefore if I should fear death it were a signe that I had not faith nor hope as I professed but that I doubted of Gods truth in his promise whether he will forgive his penitent sinners or no. It is my Father let him doe what seemeth good in his sight Come Lord Jesus for thy servant commeth I am willing help my unwillingnesses For the Morning NOw that the day star doth arise Beg we of God with huÌ„ble cries Hurtfull things to keep away While we duly spend the day Our tongues to guide so that no strife May breed disquiet in our life To shut and close the wandring eye Lest it let in vanity To keep the heart as pure and free From â—â—nd and troubled fantasie To tame proud flesh while we deny it A full cup and wanton diet That when the day light shall go out Time bringing on the night about We by leaving worldly wayes May in silence sing God prayse Amen Come Holy Ghost our soules inspire And lighten with celestiall fire Thou the anointing spirit art Who dost thy sevenfold gifts impart Thy blessed unction from above Is comfort life and fire of love 〈…〉 with perpetuall light The … nesse of my blinded sight Anoâ—â—t and cheere my soyled face With the abundance of thy grace Keep 〈◊〉 my â—oes give peace at hom Where thou art guide no ill can com Teach mee to know the father son And thee of both to be but one That through the Ages all along This may be my endles song Prayse to thy Eternall Merit Father Son and Holy Spirit A Prayer for the Morning O Lord be mercifull unto mee a miserable sinner O Lord I beseech thee let thine eares bee attentive unto the prayer of thy servant that desires to feare thy name and prosper I pray thee thy servant this day And good Lord I beseech thee send thy holy Spirit into my soule so to teach mee to pray unto thee that both my selfe and my prayers may be acceptable in thy sight O Lord my strength and my Redeemer And good Lord I beseech thee to remove all my sinnes out of thy sight that they may neither hinder my prayers from ascending up unto thee nor thy mercies from descending downe upon me And good Lord I humbly beseech thee to banish out of my heart and soule all evil thoughts and desires all fond love and affection all carnall lust and concupiscence and whatsoever else may any way hinder mee from the true love and worship of thy divine and sacred Majesty O Eternall God maker and high possessour both of Heaven and Earth looke downe I humbly beseech thee with pity and compassion upon a poor miserable distressed sinner who am not worthy to lift up my eyes towards the throne of thy divine and sacred Majesty much lesse worthy of any of thy mercies and gracious blessings which continually from time to time thou hast beene pleased to bestow upon mee for O Lord so many and so mighty are my sinnes wherewith I have offended thy divine and sacred Majesty both in thought word deed and desire that if thou shouldst enter into judgement with mee and deale with mee according to thy justice and my desert I must expect nothing but eternall death and damnation But I most humbly beseech thee for Jesus Christ his sake that it wil please thee to have mercy upon me and to pardon me all my sinnes and offences and to remove all those judgements away from mee which my sinnes have deserved and give mee grace ever heerafter to amend my ungodly life and to love and serve and honour thee truly faithfully and unfeignedly without pride presumption vaine glory and hypocrisie from these and all other deadly sinnes good Lord deliver me And good Father I give thee most humble thanks for all thy mercies and gracious blessings which continually from time to time thou hast been pleased to bestow upon me more especially for that it hath pleased thee this night past to preserve me from all evills notwithstanding all my sinnes and ill deserts Lord thou mightest have made my bed my grave and throwne my soule into the deep pit of hell hadst thou dealt with mee according
as he in his holy and Heavenly and most blessed Gospel hath taught us saying Our Father c. Let thy mighty hand and outstretched arme O Lord be still our defence thy mercy and loving kindnes in Jesus Christ thy deare sonne our salvation thy true and holy word our instruction thy grace and holy spirit our comfort and consolation unto the end and in the end Amen When we enter into our bed IN the Name of our Lord Jesus Christ who was crucified upon his Crosse and layd into his grave for me I lay me downe to rest he blesse me keepe me and rayse me up again and bring mee at last to life eternall Amen I will lay me downe in peace and take my rest for it is thou Lord only that makest me dwell in safety Have mercy upon mee O Lord now and at the howre of death Preserve mee while I am waking and defend mee when I am sleeping that my soule may continually watch for thee and both body and soule may rest in thy peace for evermore Amen An admonition before wee goe to sleepe PErmit not sluggish sleep To close your waking eye Till that with judgement deepe Your dayly deeds you try He that his sin in conscience keeps When he to quiet goes More desperat is then he that sleeps Amidst his mortall foes At night lie downe Prepare to have Thy sleep thy death Thy bed thy grave Awake arise Thinke that thou hast Thy life but lent Thy breath a blast O thou God Almighty Father of all mercy Fountaine of all pity Grant I beseech thee Of thy great clemency On me to have mercy Now and at the howre of death Amen Proverbs of Solomon Chap. 10. TReasures of wickednesse profit nothing but righteousnesse delivereth from death The Lord will not suffer the soule of the righteous to famish but hee casteth away the substance of the wicked Blessings are upon the head of the Just but violence covereth the mouth of the wicked The memory of the just is blessed but the name of the wicked shall rot The blessings of the Lord it maketh rich and he doth adde no sorrowes with it The fear of the Lord increaseth the daies but the years of the wicked shall be diminished The patient abiding of the righteous shal be gladnesse but the hope of the wicked shall perish The righteous shall never be removed but the wicked shall not dwell in the Land Chap. 11. RIches availe not in the day of wrath but righteousnesse delivereth from death The righteousness of the just shall deliver them but the transgressors shal be taken in their owne net He that is mercifull rewardeth his owne soule As righteousness leadeth to life so he that followeth evill seeketh his owne death They that are of a froward heart are abomination to the Lord but they that are upright in the way are his delight He that trusteth in riches shall fall but the righteous shall flourish as a leafe Chap. 13. THe hope that is deferred is the fainting of the heart but when the desire commeth it is a tree of life He that despiseth the word he shal be destroyed but he that feareth the Commandements he shal be rewarded Chap. 14. IN the fear of the Lord is an assured strength and his Children shall have hope The feare of the Lord is a Well-spring of life to avoyd the snares of death Chap. 15. THe Lord is far from the wicked but he heareth the prayer of the righteous The feare of the Lord is the instruction of wisdome and before honour goeth humility Chap. 16. COmmit thy workes unto the Lord and thy thoughts shal be directed By mercy and truth iniquity shall be forgiven and by the feare of the Lord they departed from evill Age is a crowne of glory when it is found in the way of righteousnesse He that is slow to anger is better then the mighty man and he that ruleth his own mind is better then he that winneth a City Chap. 17. A Joyfull heart causeth good health but a sorrowfull minde drieth the bones Chap. 18. THe name of the Lord is a strong towre the righteous runneth to it and is exalted The spirit of man will sustain his infirmity but a wounded spirit who can beare Chap. 19. HEE that hath mercy upon the poore lendeth unto the Lord and the Lord will recompence him that which he hath given The feare of the Lord leadeth to life and he that is filled therewith shall continue and shall not be visited with evill Chap. 21. HEE that followeth after righteousnesse and mercy shall finde life righteousnesse and glory Chap. 22. THe reward of humility and the fear of God is riches glory and life My son give me thy heart and let thine eyes delight in my wayes Chap. 28. HEE that hideth his sins shall not prosper but he that confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy Blessed is the man that feareth alway but he that hardneth his heart shall fall into evill He that walketh uprightly shal be saved but he that is froward in his wages shall fall at once Job Chap. 28. THe feare of the Lord is wisdome and to depart from evill is understanding Ecclesiastes Chap. 7. A Good Name is better then a good Oyntment and the day of death then the day that one is born It is better to go to the house of mourning then to the house of feasting because this is the end of all men and the living shall lay it to heart Anger is better then laughter for by a sad look the heart is made better The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth The end of a thing is better then the beginning thereof and the patient in spirit is better then the proud in spirit In the day of wealth be of good Comfort and in the day of affliction consider Surely there is no man just upon the earth that doth good and sinneth not Ecclesiasticus Chap. 1. THe fear of the Lord is glory and gladnesse and rejoycing and a joyfull Crowne The fear of the Lord maketh a merry heart and giveth gladness and joy and long life Who so feareth the Lord it shall go well with him at the last and he shall finde favour in the day of his death Who so feareth the Lord shall prosper and in the day of his end he shall be blessed A patient man will suffer for a time and then he shall have the reward of joy Chap. 2. YE that feare the Lord love him and your hearts shal be lightned Consider the old generations of men ye children and marke them them well was there ever any confounded that put his trust in the Lord or who hath continued in his feare and was forsaken or whom did he ever dispise that called upon him For God is gracious and mercifull and forgiveth sins and saveth in the time of trouble and is a defender for all them that seek him in