and when I doe soe I am much disturbed and full of Confusion where soever I turne my selfe I finde miseryes and daungers on all sides I am a Pilgrimme in my nothing and goe on for an incertaine space of time in a daungerous jorney to eternity It is common to all men to bee Pilgrimmes as well as mee yet the peril becomes not lesse by the greater multitude that runne the hasard but feare is rather encreased by the frequent examples of those that perish All men in this world are travalers walking on the slippery declivity of a most deepe precipice at the bottome where of hell is seated and heaven at the toppe but heaven lyes hid with a cloud and hell is covered with the pleasant amaenity of greene and delitious meddoes soe that allmost all not coâ—…ring heaven nor hell as they ought are easily carryed whither the alluring pleasures inuite And if any one by reason find out the deceitfullnesse of our sences and discover the ambuish what shall hee doe shall hee clime vp but his weake feet slipp away but the path is cragged and inaccessible to human sense but the darke and thick cloud threatens tempest and daunger of shipwracke Thus all things drive downe-wards the flesh the world and the devil all hinder the assent the thorny and difficult way the travalers weaknesse and the imminent tempest Yet wee must ascend wee must clyme vpwards But with what forces ô Lord not ours but thine this is the worke of thy mercy which makes that possible by grace which is impossible to nature I am not able of my selfe to worke my salvation vnlesse you that commaund give mee forces to doe what you ordaine Now if I looke into my soule alas how poore and miserable am I The vnderstanding capable of little knowes very few things If I runne over all creatures I have not knowledge of the hundered thousand part of them and if an vnprofitable knowledge is a Kind of ignorance what a deale of what I know is wholy vnprofitable Or even sometimes hurtfull A gaine a mong those few things I know if I examine each in particuler I shall clearely see I know noe one thing I say not perfectly as to the essence but even superficially in order to the vses it was given for As for heavenly things which it were only fit to know I doe almost allwayes erre by a certaine Kind of necessity for as a Mathematiciane that does vse instruments that are not exact or well proportioned cannot chuse but erre Soe for the most part my soule making vse of the sences of the body which have noe proportion with spirituall and heavenly things judges nothing rightly but generaly allwayes erres where it is not led by the conduct of devine faith I inquire after the enormity of sinne and find noe measure for it for I have offended God more then any humane thought can conceive I seeke what Eternity is and measure it by time because I have noe other measure of Eternity for though time bee not the measure of Eternity yet it is more like it then other things that have noe similitude therewith I seeke to vnderstand the happinesse of the Blessed and I define all according to a sensible love where as that happinesse surpasses all sense witnesse the Apostle who teaches that Neyther eye haâ— seene nor eare heard nor hath it â—…cended into the hart of man what things God has prepared for those that love him Thus am I ignorant of all things and what is the greatest weaknesse of my vnderstanding is that in all this palpable obscurity and darknesse I am ignorant of my owne ignorance and if I find others more absurd then my selfe I presently cloake my ignorance with the faire name of wisdome I will not compare my selfe with many that excelle mee least I should come to the knowledge of my owne weakenesse but with a few which I judge inferiour that others greater madnesse may flatter my phrensy and I seeme to know the more the lesse I doate And this is that great Idole which does soe puffe vp my poore vnderstanding that it is not capable of other things These are the distempers of the vnderstanding now how much more daungerous are the diseases of the will O what a civil warre doe I suffer with in my selfe whilst soe many several contrary affections and passions each draw their way The sea is not soe toren with contrary winds as my mind is rent and tost toe and froe with contrary desires The flesh and spirit each draw their way hope and feaâ—… anger and pusillanimity avarice and luxury and the mind is devided on the one side with the labour of acquiring glory and on the other with the shame of loosing it O raving ambition o cruell torment yet but a just punishment of thy selfe How much more happy should I bee if content with a mediocrity I did cast a way all hope or feare of humane things For now that I seeke humane prayse and feare disprayse I am ouerwhelmed with a multitude of disagreeing passions which only serve to hinder mee from obtaining the peace I soe much seeke after These o Lord are the things that passe my hart when you my peace my joy and my Crowne are absent And there is yet another great evil that praedominates which is inconstancy O how weake is my will I seldome beginne to doe well but I presently come to faile I not sooner resolve great matters and make great purposes but at the first occation of difficulty all my fervour is lost and like an infant I am puffed vp with a smale good and cast downe againe with as smale an evil and in the meane time live in noe smale daunger for though the fale bee easy the ruine is aeternal In the midst of tentations I live dayly in daunger of being overcome with Idlenesse anger pride pusilanimity or presumption of faling through the concupiscence of the flesh or eyes into sinne beeing surrounded with infinite occations And if I offend in one I am guilty of all and the fale is erreparable if death seases on mee offending If one might dye twice and live as often At least the second life might bee rightly ordered and the soule better informed of the truth of things would abhorre the daunger the seconde time but now that the blind vnderstanding leads a blind will I am forced to feare Least they both fale into the pitt If I must Iudge my selfe by the memory of my past life my feare does much increase Alas woe is mee how have I spent my time where are the dayes of my life how ill have I garded my sences How have I sinned both interiourly and exteriourly How seldome have I corresponded with devine grace of all my actions for soe many yeares among soe many helpes in the world or Religion I have hardly performed any soe but there has beene some thing to repent Some times performed with sloth and negligence some times I have
been puffed vp with good successe some times contristated at evil events and never intirely cooperated with devine grace This I have been such does my memory represent mee and this and worse shall I bee for the future if thou Lord doest not prevent mee with thy grace Banisht poore ignorant inconstant feeble sick infirme in spirit and more infirme in flesh blind in the vnderstanding blinder in the will prone to sinne by nature proner by evil custome I live a scandall to my brethren a prejudice to Religion and dangerous to my selfe There is noe creature whose injuryes I am not exposed to there is noe member of my body that is not subject to innumerable miseryes noe sense but that eternal death may enter by not a day not an hower not a moment but that I am in great daunger of loosing an aeternity Lord whilst I consider these things I cannot chuse but bee much troubled and ceased with feare and trembling How then ô Lord doe you say that the knowledge of my selfe does contribute to peace of mind Loe how even this imperfect knowledge of my selfe makes mee a weary of my Life and have noe mind to any thing but to lament and weepe If then I did fully know my selfe and clearely see my basnesse what other should I find but most bitter bitternesse and vnconsolable griefe Sonne doe not thinke you loose your peace by the knowledge of your selfe This thought is not with out paine and griefe and therefore worldings fly it as a disturber of quiet The knowledge of ones selfe takes a way sloath and pusillanimity but not peace Peace cannot consist without security nor security without a feare that proceeds from the knowledge of ones selfe The feare of God is the beginning of wisdome and the knowledge of ones selfe the beginning of the feare of God Vnlesse all things bee rightly ordred in you you can have noe peace nor can you have any thing rightly ordered in or concerning vnlesse you know your selfe There are three chiefe principles or maximes conducing to peace to bee drawen from the knowledge of your selfe The first is not to place any confidence in your selfe but cast all your hopes in Allm God who soever confides in himselfe shall bee deceived and restlesse Doe not presume of your selfe neither in great little or even the least things for of your selfe you can doe nothing If in your dayly actions you doe relye on your owne forces you will necessarily fale when assaulted with a strong tentation For on the one side your forces are not sufficient and on the other not beeing vsed to make your recourse to God you will not bee able to hope for his helpe soe that you will come to bee left voyd of all helpe The affaire of your salvation must bee perfited by God and your selfe and as God will not doe any thing with out you soe can not you doe any thing at all with out God Doe not therefore confide in thy selfe least God leave thee to thy selfe but begg of God that hee will vouchsafe powerfully to prevent thee that soe thou mayst bee able to doe all things in him that strengthens thee The best counsaile you can follow is to enter into the abysse of your owne basenesse before you beginne any affaire even the least to see vnderstand and confesse that you can doe nothing without mee and when you have rightly considered the abysse of your nothing then ascend vnto the hight of my mercy which is above all my workes and soe let one abysse invoke another abisse and I le ' open the cataracts of heaven and powerforth my grace vpon you When you have thus humbled your selfe aske what you will and it shall bee done The exinanition of ones selfe is the most efficatious prayer Lessen first your pride and then bend your knee in prayer As often as you shall humble your selfe in any of your actions soe often shall I assist you with my omminipotency that you may want nothing Loe therefore Sonne what great good there is contained in the knowledge of your selfe If you know your selfe you will humble your selfe and make your recourse to mee and if you have recourse to mee I le ' help you and labour with you and what can you feare when you have the Omnipotent to assist you who can as easily doe great matters as the smalest things You ought to feare nothing but only confiding in your selfe for as long as you place your confidence in God you shall aequaly overcome all because you relye on him who can with the same case doe all things either alone or with you God therefore left man naked needy and vnable to rayse him selfe towards his end because hee would himselfe out of his infinite love allways assist him with his wisdome rule him with his power defend him and replenish him with grace â—mediately floeing from himelfe If you doe rightly vnderstand these things you have lay'd a solide foundation of true peace And if you are come to know your â—nperfections you have made a great steppe towards perfection and this is the first fruite you must reape from the knowledge of your selfe which being well vnderstood you will easily obtaine the two following The second fruite then is that this knowledge of your selfe cutts a way all vaine hopes by the rootes Why doe you beginne with vaine hopes what of your selfe you are not able to effect for whome doe you heape vp treasures who are but a passenger that must leave them all to morrow Eternity is at the dore which will force thee to bid a long adieu to thy desires what will then become of the honour you soe dearly bought and soe carefully cherished when you shall sleepe in dust and bee noe longer thought on but graunt that all did prayse you after death what then shall not the wormes stil feede in the same manner on thy corps shall not thy soule bee tormented a like perhappes many have praysed you in your life time which you knew not of what were you the better for this vnknowen prayse Many alfoe have disprayed you which you were ignorant of and what are you the worse It will bee just soe after death when neyther prayse nor disgrace shall move you absent now and insensible If you did know your selfe you would curbe your ambition and live in a most profound peace Doe not labour and take pains that others may know you but endeavour to bee fully knowen to your selfe and God You are what you are in the sight of God and not what men Iudge you Doe not compare your selfe with others but beholde your selfe in the presence of God that you may allwayes humble your selfe If you compare your selfe with others to bee sure your perfections of body or mind will not reach to a mediocrity and labour what thou will you shall find your selfe surpassed by a great many Bee therefore content that as many surpasse you in guifts of nature as God has preferred
mischiefe as Idlenesse none soe vngratfull and fruitlesse for an Idle persone is vsefull to noe body and always displeasing to him selfe There is nothing soe like Idlenesse as foolishnesse for both render people vnfit for all things And there is nothing soe agreable to peace as a hardy but moderate labour where with life is ceasoned and time spent in tranquility Adam was placed in Paradice to manure it and you are caled to Religion to cultivate your soule by manfully working in it A Religious life is the worke of God And cursed hee that does the worke of God negligently You shall have your reward according to your workes even in this life as well as the next Labour therefore in my vineard and you shall have a double reward peace of mind in this life and glory in the next This is the fust conclusion conserning the things one is to doe that intends to live a pious and quiet life hee must always labour Now Sonne harken where in you are to labour Allways doe that which you shall not repent but wish to have done and you will find peace But what things are these O Lord Sonne they are those things which God requires and exacts of you But who shall tell mee what God requires of mee O happy man that has God for the directour of his actions and heares God saying this is the way walke in it that you may goe streight to aeternall Salvation Truely hee were inexcusable that should decline from the way that has God for his guide T is true Sonne there is noe greater happinesse then to have God for master directour and assistent in all actions Neyther Kings nor Princes have such a Counceler yet you enjoy this praerogative of Saints that you euer know the will of God in all your actions I tould you interiourly when I spake in your hart and caled you to Religion and now I tell it you againe that I commaund what soever your Superiours order You know my will when you know the will of your Superiur that cyther now is or shall bee for the fature And seeing I have given your Superiour my place it belongs to mee to provide that hee shall commaund what I will have and if I did not take care of this my Providence would bee defectiue which is indeficient and cannot faile The day you made your vowes to mee and promised to obey your Superiour in all things That very day did I take you into my care and ordered in the councell of my wisdome certaine actions which I have in part already let you know and in part shall declare wherin I have and yet will have you exercise your vow which I declare by your Superiour I doe not say your Superiour is infallible but I say that what soever your Superiour commaunds that is not a sinne I commaund the very same and I le soe direct you that if you obey as you ought what soever your Superiour commaunds shall conduce to your salvation This is an infinite confort of Religious persons that they allways heare mee speaking in the Superiour and soe are more sure they doe the will of God then if an Angel did reveale it to them For they may doubt of the Angel but ought not to doubt of the commaund of the superiour because I have constituted him in my place and I le ' soe guide him that though hee doe not thinke of it or will not hee shall doe my will That is hee shall commaund that which I resolved to commaund when you offred your selfe vnto mee Doe not therefore deliberate any longer but know that will That is hee shall commaund that which I resolved to commaund when you offred your selfe vnto mee Doe not therefore deliberate any longer but know that when you heare your superiour speake you heare my will For it is truely my will to governe thee as the supertour shall commaund whome I now feresee though you doe not yet know who or where they are there are many and hard commaunds that expect you which you shall vnderstand how hard they are when you shall heare them but I now tell you of them that when they happen you should remember that I have tould you that this is my will which you ought to fulfill for your great comfort and consolatione Lord I now see that the chiefe and maine rule or chusing things for obtaining peace is to chuse nothing but wholy depend on obedience that I may always doe thy will which is to bee coveted above all things Lord give mee thy grace that I may always doe thy will because I know this to bee best and most profitable for mce and let mee never seeke my owne And now because it often happens that there is some time left free to mee I alsoe desire to know what even then I am to doe For superiours doe not soe employ vs but there is some time left ouerplus Sonne when you find any such time which will often happen if you bee diligent come to mee and open your mouth and I will fill it I say betake your selfe to God in prayer and contemplation It is the most proper duty of man to contemplate the Devinity there is nothing on earth more sublime then prayer but the frequenting Sacraments It is an vnspeakable dignity of man that hee can speake with God and lay open all his miseryes and necessityes in his presence If any had soe free an accesse to a king as you have to God to propose what you will and when you will hee would think him selfe most happy Doe not therefore soe much neglect your good but make your recourse to God with confidence as often as you can and take it as a great favour that I have provided thee this time If you doe not willingly converse with God by meditation you are in great daunger of leaving your vocation for who soever does vnwillingly recollect himselfe gives an evident signe that hee little regards his progresse and hee that does not regarde his progresse cannot stand long Now to the end you may with constancy and profit converse with god in the recolection of your selfe be sure to have always some thing in readinesse wherein to employ your selfe with zeale Now consider the excellency of God now his love towards you now your end the terrible passage of death some times looke in to your past actions and others againe foreeast your future knowing that the more you weigh each in the sight of God the more profitable and tollerable they will become the chiefe point of humane wisdome consists in this that a man comparing future with the past doe rightly order his actions in the sight of God And hee that will not take time to forecast what is to bee can never behave himselfe well in occations Meditation is the rule of life and prayer is the key of heaven the one disposes to Paradice the other opens heaven the one teaches what is to bee done the other gives