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then_o he_o will_v not_o depart_v from_o i_o §_o 11._o i_o will_v conclude_v this_o chapter_n with_o a_o country_n poem_n of_o her_o honest_a kinsman_n mr._n eleazar_n careswell_n of_o sheffnall_a in_o shropshire_n who_o i_o never_o know_v to_o poetrize_v but_o now_o that_o tender_a love_n and_o passion_n teach_v he_o it_o signify_v these_o though_o it_o want_v the_o flowery_a part_n her_o danger_n of_o death_n so_o near_o to_o her_o conversion_n be_v very_o grievous_a to_o he_o margaret_z charlton_n anagram_n arm_v to_o late_a change_n the_o prudent_a soul_n refine_v from_o earth_n do_v ever_o arm_n to_o her_o late_a change_n and_o fear_v it_o never_o those_o glitter_a monarch_n who_o seem_v to_o command_v this_o ball_n shall_v be_v by_o death_n impartial_a hand_n put_v out_o and_o doom_v to_o a_o eternal_a state_n no_o mortal_a sinner_n can_v decline_v this_o fate_n death_n conquer_v scepter-swaying_a king_n but_o i_o shall_v conquer_v death_n be_v now_o arm_v to_o die_v arm_v soul_n 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the_o soul_n ascend_v to_o those_o high_a glorious_a region_n where_o she_o with_o christ_n and_o bless_a soul_n shall_v ever_o be_v soul_n trouble_v sin_n shall_v then_o molest_v no_o more_o which_o clog_v which_o wound_v she_o so_o long_o before_o poor_a soul_n go_v fetter_v here_o with_o flesh_n and_o sin_n death_n do_v her_o great_a deliverance_n begin_v thy_o soul_n renew_v by_o grace_n shall_v quick_o see_v how_o blessed_v a_o change_n that_o day_n will_v bring_v to_o thou_o death_n shall_v those_o weep_a eye_n dry_v up_o and_o close_o and_o pain_v weary_a flesh_n to_o rest_v repose_n the_o grave_n will_v be_v a_o safe_a and_o quiet_a bed_n to_o that_o frail_a body_n when_o the_o soul_n be_v flee_v this_o ache_a head_n shall_v there_o be_v lay_v to_o rest_v whilst_o thy_o glad_a soul_n of_o glory_n be_v possess_v as_o banish_v grief_n end_v in_o that_o quiet_a sleep_n thy_o dust_n be_v holy_a it_o thy_o lord_n will_v keep_v till_o the_o last_o trumpet_n sound_n and_o he_o shall_v raise_v the_o just_a and_o unjust_a at_o the_o last_o of_o day_n then_o the_o refine_a body_n shall_v again_o it_o be_v late_o dislodge_a soul_n re-entertain_a and_o reunite_v chant_v well-tuned_a lay_n unto_o the_o lamb_n who_o soul-enamouring_a ray_n shall_v ravish_v saint_n with_o bless_a perfect_a joy_n free_v from_o whatever_o will_v their_o rest_n annoy_n where_o they_o with_o flame_a love_n and_o pleasure_n sing_v holy_a melodious_a praise_n to_o god_n their_o king_n rise_v then_o my_o soul_n thy_o thought_n from_o earth_n estrange_v the_o first_o be_v wrought_v arm_v to_o thy_o late_a change_n thus_o the_o good_a
not_o think_v that_o his_o book_n be_v disgrace_v if_o he_o write_v not_o over_o again_o all_o that_o every_o one_o else_o have_v write_v before_o he_o but_o my_o fault_n lay_v 1._o in_o believe_v dr._n stillingfleet_n who_o tell_v we_o that_o these_o paper_n be_v write_v in_o k._n edward_n reign_n which_o make_v i_o look_v for_o they_o in_o dr._n burnet_n second_a volume_n where_o they_o be_v not_o and_o another_o affirm_v to_o i_o that_o he_o see_v they_o in_o that_o second_o volume_n and_o i_o peruse_v it_o purposely_o a_o second_o time_n confirm_v i_o but_o dr._n b._n say_v dr._n stillingfleet_n be_v mistake_v many_o year_n and_o that_o they_o be_v write_v long_o before_o in_o the_o reign_n of_o hen._n 8._o and_o so_o he_o have_v they_o in_o his_o first_o volume_n which_o i_o have_v not_o peruse_v not_o expect_v they_o there_o and_o for_o this_o hasty_a judge_n i_o beg_v his_o pardon_n as_o to_o these_o little_a private_a history_n of_o my_o own_o family_n foremention_v i_o be_v loath_a to_o cast_v by_o my_o own_o mother-in-law_n life_n she_o be_v a_o person_n of_o so_o long_a and_o extraordinary_a holiness_n live_v long_o with_o sir_n robert_n harley_n who_o lady_n be_v her_o cousin-german_a and_o after_o at_o shrewsbury_n and_o after_o with_o my_o father_n and_o i_o etc._n etc._n in_o so_o great_a communion_n with_o god_n contempt_n of_o the_o world_n and_o all_o its_o pomp_n and_o vanity_n so_o great_a victory_n over_o the_o flesh_n and_o so_o long_o desire_v to_o die_v and_o especial_o in_o much_o constant_a fervent_a successful_a prayer_n that_o have_v marvellous_a answer_n as_o very_o few_o christian_n attain_v and_o i_o be_v loath_a to_o have_v cast_v by_o the_o narrative_a of_o my_o wife_n mother_n for_o some_o reason_n not_o now_o to_o be_v mention_v and_o because_o her_o daughter_n extraordinary_a love_n to_o she_o make_v her_o just_a honour_n very_o dear_a to_o she_o but_o her_o character_n be_v in_o the_o sermon_n true_o give_v you_o but_o i_o be_o convince_v by_o the_o judgement_n of_o my_o friend_n that_o public_a thing_n be_v fit_a for_o public_a notice_n and_o i_o feel_v that_o love_n grief_n and_o nearness_n affect_v i_o with_o the_o matter_n that_o be_v so_o near_o i_o and_o as_o it_o do_v not_o much_o concern_v the_o world_n to_o know_v whether_o i_o be_o sick_a or_o well_o dead_a or_o alive_a or_o whether_o ever_o i_o have_v a_o be_v though_o it_o concern_v i_o so_o i_o shall_v think_v of_o the_o concern_v of_o my_o friend_n affection_n make_v we_o think_v our_o own_o or_o our_o friend_n affair_n to_o be_v such_o as_o the_o world_n shall_v be_v affect_v with_o i_o perceive_v this_o weakness_n and_o submit_v that_o which_o be_v leave_v out_o of_o the_o narrative_a of_o my_o wife_n life_n be_v the_o occasion_n and_o inducement_n of_o our_o marriage_n and_o some_o passage_n between_o some_o relative_n and_o she_o which_o the_o world_n be_v not_o concern_v yet_o at_o least_o to_o know_v if_o this_o that_o be_v write_v seem_v useless_a to_o any_o it_o will_v not_o hurt_v they_o if_o they_o leave_v it_o to_o other_o that_o find_v it_o more_o suitable_a to_o they_o all_o thing_n be_v not_o agreeable_a to_o all_o that_o may_v be_v useful_a to_o person_n of_o her_o own_o quality_n which_o be_v not_o so_o to_o many_o other_o to_o her_o nephew_n and_o niece_n and_o some_o other_o kindred_n who_o be_v also_o near_o to_o she_o and_o for_o who_o sake_n above_o most_o other_o i_o write_v it_o you_o can_v think_v that_o it_o will_v be_v altogether_o useless_a o_o that_o they_o will_v all_o imitate_v she_o in_o all_o that_o be_v praiseworthy_a and_o needful_a to_o themselves_o the_o grand_a objection_n i_o foresee_v will_v be_v that_o i_o seem_v but_o to_o predicate_v some_o of_o my_o own_o good_a work_n by_o praise_v she_o and_o must_v i_o needs_o bury_v the_o memory_n of_o they_o as_o she_o for_o fear_v of_o the_o sting_n of_o such_o objector_n i_o have_v tell_v they_o true_o it_o be_v not_o my_o own_o act_n but_o those_o that_o be_v proper_o she_o that_o i_o there_o mention_v it_o be_v not_o her_o give_v of_o my_o money_n which_o i_o there_o recite_v but_o that_o which_o either_o be_v she_o own_o and_o none_o of_o i_o or_o else_o procure_v by_o she_o for_o those_o use_n and_o the_o work_v such_o in_o which_o i_o be_v but_o the_o executor_n of_o her_o will._n she_o be_v go_v after_o many_o of_o my_o choice_a friend_n who_o within_o this_o one_o year_n be_v go_v to_o christ_n and_o i_o be_o follow_v even_o at_o the_o door_n have_v i_o be_v to_o enjoy_v they_o only_o here_o it_o will_v have_v be_v but_o a_o short_a comfort_n mix_v with_o the_o many_o trouble_n which_o all_o our_o fail_n and_o sin_n and_o some_o degree_n of_o unsuitableness_n between_o the_o near_a and_o dear_a cause_n but_o i_o be_o go_v after_o they_o to_o that_o bless_a society_n where_o life_n light_n and_o love_n and_o therefore_o harmony_n concord_n and_o joy_n be_v perfect_a and_o everlasting_a reader_n while_o i_o give_v thou_o but_o the_o truth_n forgive_v the_o effect_n of_o age_n weakness_n and_o grief_n and_o if_o before_o i_o get_v over_o this_o own_v passion_n i_o publish_v also_o a_o few_o poetical_a fragment_n partly_o suit_v to_o the_o condition_n of_o some_o sick_a or_o sad_a afflict_a friend_n and_o partly_o to_o my_o own_o if_o thou_o accept_v they_o not_o forgive_v they_o only_o and_o neglect_v they_o as_o the_o man_n be_v such_o will_v be_v his_o thought_n and_o work_n the_o lord_n prosper_v our_o preparation_n for_o our_o great_a approach_a change_n to_o leave_v this_o world_n for_o ever_o and_o enter_v upon_o a_o endless_a life_n where_o we_o shall_v speed_v according_a to_o the_o preparation_n of_o this_o little_a inch_n of_o time_n do_v certain_o bespeak_v the_o most_o scrious_a thought_n the_o wise_a and_o speedy_a care_n and_o diligence_n the_o most_o patient_a suffer_v the_o most_o unwearied_a labour_n the_o most_o frugal_a use_n of_o all_o our_o time_n the_o most_o resolute_a resistance_n to_o all_o temptation_n and_o to_o the_o faithful_a the_o most_o joyful_a hope_n july_n 23._o 1681._o rich._n baxter_n a_o breviate_v of_o the_o life_n of_o margaret_n the_o daughter_n of_o francis_n charlton_n esque_n and_o late_a wife_n of_o richard_n baxter_n who_o die_v june_n 14._o 1681._o chap._n i._o her_o parentage_n and_o the_o occasion_n of_o our_o acquaintance_n §_o though_o due_a affection_n make_v i_o willing_a to_o give_v the_o world_n a_o narrative_a which_o else_o i_o have_v omit_v yet_o the_o fear_n of_o god_n have_v not_o so_o forsake_v i_o that_o i_o shall_v willing_o deliver_v any_o falsehood_n through_o partiality_n or_o passion_n but_o as_o i_o know_v more_o of_o this_o person_n than_o any_o other_o for_o the_o good_a of_o the_o reader_n and_o the_o honour_n of_o god_n grace_n in_o she_o i_o shall_v by_o god_n assistance_n true_o report_v the_o thing_n which_o i_o know_v §_o 2._o we_o be_v bear_v in_o the_o same_o county_n within_o three_o mile_n and_o a_o half_a of_o each_o other_o but_o she_o of_o one_o of_o the_o chief_a family_n in_o the_o county_n and_o i_o but_o of_o a_o mean_a freeholder_n call_v a_o gentleman_n for_o his_o ancestor_n sake_n but_o of_o a_o small_a estate_n though_o sufficient_a her_o father_n francis_n charlton_n esq_n be_v one_o of_o the_o best_a justice_n of_o the_o peace_n in_o that_o county_n a_o grave_n and_o sober_a worthy_a man_n but_o do_v not_o marry_v till_o he_o be_v age_a and_o gray_a and_o so_o die_v while_o his_o child_n be_v very_o young_a who_o be_v three_o of_o which_o the_o elder_a daughter_n and_o his_o only_a son_n be_v yet_o alive_a he_o have_v one_o survive_a brother_n who_o after_o the_o father_n death_n maintain_v a_o long_a and_o costly_a suit_n about_o the_o guardianship_n of_o the_o heir_n yet_o live_a this_o uncle_n robert_n be_v a_o comely_a sober_a gentleman_n but_o the_o wise_a and_o good_a mother_n mary_n dare_v not_o trust_v she_o only_o son_n in_o the_o hand_n of_o one_o that_o be_v his_o next_o heir_n and_o she_o think_v that_o nature_n give_v she_o a_o great_a interest_n in_o he_o than_o a_o uncle_n have_v but_o it_o be_v in_o the_o heat_n of_o the_o late_a civil_a war_n robert_n be_v for_o the_o parliament_n have_v the_o advantage_n of_o strength_n which_o put_v she_o to_o seek_v relief_n at_o oxford_n from_o the_o king_n and_o afterward_o to_o marry_v one_o mr._n hanmer_n who_o be_v for_o the_o king_n to_o make_v her_o interest_n that_o way_n her_o house_n be_v a_o sort_n of_o a_o small_a castle_n be_v now_o garison_v for_o the_o king_n but_o at_o last_o robert_n procure_v it_o to_o be_v besiege_v by_o the_o parliament_n soldier_n and_o storm_v and_o
against_o her_o inclination_n §_o 8._o when_o that_o chapel_n be_v finish_v i_o begin_v and_o preach_v there_o but_o one_o day_n be_v to_o go_v on_o the_o morrow_n into_o the_o country_n it_o unhappy_o fall_v out_o that_o secretary_n henry_n coventry_n house_n be_v on_o the_o backside_n of_o it_o who_o resolve_v that_o it_o shall_v not_o be_v use_v by_o we_o the_o next_o lord_n day_n when_o i_o be_v far_o off_o and_o leave_v my_o wife_n at_o home_n she_o get_v one_o mr._n seddon_n a_o derbyshire-stranger_n then_o come_v to_o town_n to_o preach_v there_o a_o humble_a pious_a man_n that_o have_v suffer_v imprisonment_n former_o by_o cromwell_n party_n for_o be_v for_o the_o king_n restoration_n at_o the_o rise_n of_o sir_n george_n booth_n secretary_n coventry_n think_v i_o will_v be_v there_o have_v get_v three_o justice_n with_o a_o warrant_n as_o for_o i_o to_o have_v apprehend_v i_o and_o send_v i_o to_o goal_n but_o it_o fall_v on_o mr._n seddon_n but_o because_o the_o warrant_v make_v for_o i_o be_v so_o alter_v as_o to_o the_o name_n that_o it_o suit_v not_o his_o case_n after_o some_o time_n of_o imprisonment_n he_o have_v his_o habeas_fw-la corpus_fw-la and_o by_o the_o justice_n of_o worthy_a judge_n hale_n and_o other_o judge_n be_v deliver_v but_o he_o be_v a_o tender_a man_n and_o my_o wife_n sensible_a that_o she_o be_v the_o occasion_n which_o do_v she_o no_o good_a and_o all_o the_o burden_n lie_v on_o she_o to_o maintain_v he_o to_o visit_v and_o comfort_v he_o to_o pay_v the_o lawyer_n and_o discharge_v all_o fee_n which_o as_o i_o remember_v cost_v she_o 20_o l._n and_o yet_o we_o be_v calumniate_v as_o if_o i_o that_o be_v twenty_o mile_n off_o have_v put_v another_o to_o suffer_v in_o my_o stead_n §_o 9_o when_o she_o see_v that_o we_o can_v not_o be_v suffer_v to_o preach_v in_o the_o place_n which_o upon_o her_o promise_n she_o have_v build_v she_o be_v very_o glad_a that_o dr._n lloyd_n and_o the_o parishioner_n accept_v of_o it_o for_o their_o public_a worship_n ask_v they_o no_o more_o rent_n than_o we_o be_v to_o pay_v for_o the_o ground_n and_o the_o room_n over_o for_o a_o vestry_n at_o 5_o l._n and_o ask_v no_o advantage_n for_o all_o the_o money_n lay_v out_o on_o the_o build_n yet_o since_o the_o purchase_n of_o the_o fee-simple_n of_o the_o chappel-ground_n have_v cost_v i_o 200_o l._n more_o and_o the_o adjoin_a ground_n 200_o l._n more_o to_o my_o great_a loss_n §_o 10._o so_o much_o be_v her_o heart_n set_v on_o the_o help_a the_o ignorant_a untaught_a poor_a about_o st._n jame_n that_o she_o set_v up_o a_o school_n there_o to_o teach_v some_o poor_a child_n to_o read_v and_o the_o catechism_n free_o and_o thereby_o also_o relieve_v a_o poor_a honest_a man_n that_o teach_v they_o who_o have_v a_o wife_n and_o many_o child_n and_o no_o other_o maintenance_n of_o his_o own_o mr._n bruce_n and_o she_o will_v fain_o have_v set_v up_o more_o have_v she_o have_v money_n for_o this_o she_o beg_v a_o while_n of_o her_o good_a friend_n but_o they_o quick_o give_v over_o and_o she_o pay_v he_o most_o of_o her_o own_o six_o pound_n a_o year_n till_o her_o death_n i_o mention_v this_o to_o move_v some_o charitable_a people_n to_o continue_v it_o and_o to_o tell_v they_o that_o in_o the_o many_o great_a out-parish_n of_o london_n there_o be_v multitude_n of_o the_o child_n of_o the_o poor_a that_o spend_v their_o time_n in_o idleness_n and_o play_v and_o be_v never_o teach_v to_o read_v and_o that_o there_o be_v many_o good_a woman_n very_o poor_a that_o will_v be_v glad_a of_o a_o small_a stipue_v to_o teach_v such_o to_o read_v and_o the_o catechism_n and_o so_o both_o may_v have_v relief_n and_o help_n and_o i_o think_v charity_n can_v scarce_o be_v better_a use_v as_o honest_a mr._n gouge_n have_v in_o wales_n find_v by_o experience_n and_o i_o will_v such_o place_n in_o london_n where_o the_o ten_o or_o the_o four_o person_n in_o the_o parish_n can_v come_v to_o church_n and_o many_o thousand_o have_v disuse_v themselves_o from_o god_n public_a worship_n and_o breed_v up_o their_o child_n according_o be_v pity_v as_o well_o as_o wales_n §_o 11._o when_o she_o see_v that_o i_o can_v not_o use_v the_o chapel_n which_o she_o build_v she_o present_o hire_v another_o near_a ready_o build_v for_o gain_v in_o swallow-street_n that_o the_o poor_a people_n where_o i_o have_v begin_v through_o god_n mercy_n with_o considerable_a success_n may_v still_o be_v teach_v and_o when_o i_o have_v there_o a_o while_n continue_v and_o be_v keep_v out_o by_o the_o officer_n stand_v at_o the_o door_n with_o the_o justice_n warrant_v many_o month_n together_o it_o be_v her_o care_n and_o act_n to_o refer_v it_o to_o many_o good_a minister_n to_o choose_v one_o for_o the_o place_n that_o will_v be_v better_o endure_v by_o they_o that_o will_v not_o endure_v i_o and_o a_o faithful_a painful_a self-denying_a man_n be_v choose_v who_o have_v there_o do_v much_o good_a and_o still_o do_v §_o 12._o when_o i_o be_v thence_o drive_v it_o be_v her_o choice_n that_o i_o shall_v go_v quite_o to_o southwark_n each_o lordsday_n to_o preach_v to_o a_o congregation_n of_o poor_a people_n there_o §_o 13._o when_o dr._n manton's_n place_n at_o covent-garden_n be_v void_a it_o be_v her_o desire_n that_o i_o shall_v preach_v once_o a_o day_n there_o because_o be_v near_o many_o of_o the_o poor_a of_o st._n james_n will_v come_v thither_o as_o they_o do_v §_o 14._o she_o get_v from_o her_o friend_n also_o money_n to_o help_v to_o build_v another_o very_a useful_a chapel_n for_o another_o among_o a_o numerous_a poor_a people_n where_o still_o much_o good_a be_v do_v and_o she_o promote_v two_o or_o three_o such_o more_o §_o 15._o she_o be_v very_o impatient_a of_o public_a collection_n for_o the_o minister_n or_o for_o the_o rent_n of_o the_o place_n because_o it_o sound_v ill_a and_o prejudice_v the_o ignorant_a and_o covetous_a and_o trouble_v the_o poor_a that_o have_v no_o money_n and_o therefore_o do_v the_o utmost_a she_o can_v with_o she_o own_o purse_n and_o her_o friend_n to_o avoid_v it_o know_v that_o rent_n must_v be_v pay_v and_o minister_n and_o their_o family_n must_v have_v bread_n and_o it_o be_v pity_n they_o shall_v be_v under_o the_o care_n of_o want_n §_o 16._o she_o be_v so_o far_o from_o cross_v i_o in_o my_o preach_n free_o without_o salary_n or_o gather_v a_o church_n that_o will_v maintain_v i_o or_o make_v collection_n or_o get_v subscription_n that_o she_o will_v not_o have_v endure_v any_o such_o thing_n if_o i_o have_v desire_v it_o though_o she_o know_v that_o the_o labourer_n be_v worthy_a of_o his_o hire_n and_o that_o god_n have_v ordain_v that_o they_o that_o preach_v the_o gospel_n shall_v live_v of_o the_o gospel_n yet_o she_o know_v that_o all_o must_v be_v do_v to_o the_o furtherance_n of_o the_o gospel_n and_o to_o edify_v and_o be_v of_o paul_n mind_n that_o will_v rather_o die_v than_o any_o shall_v make_v his_o glory_v void_a and_o deprive_v he_o of_o that_o reward_n therefore_o it_o be_v so_o far_o from_o offend_v she_o as_o it_o will_v be_v with_o many_o minister_n wife_n that_o be_v in_o want_n and_o may_v have_v such_o maintenance_n as_o be_v their_o due_n that_o i_o neither_o conform_v nor_o take_v any_o place_n of_o gain_n that_o it_o be_v as_o much_o by_o her_o will_n as_o my_o own_o that_o for_o the_o first_o nine_o or_o ten_o year_n of_o my_o eject_v state_n i_o take_v not_o so_o much_o as_o any_o private_a gift_n to_o supply_v my_o want_n except_o ten_o pound_n a_o year_n from_o sergeant_n fountain_n which_o his_o importunity_n and_o my_o civility_n will_v not_o permit_v i_o to_o refuse_v §_o 17._o and_o i_o take_v it_o yet_o for_o a_o great_a part_n of_o her_o self-denial_n and_o charity_n that_o when_o her_o own_o estate_n prove_v much_o too_o short_a to_o maintain_v she_o in_o the_o exercise_n of_o such_o good_a work_n as_o she_o be_v devote_v to_o she_o at_o length_n refuse_v not_o to_o 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to_o supply_v the_o notorious_a necessity_n of_o the_o people_n and_o as_o helper_n of_o the_o allow_a ministry_n the_o good_a woman_n think_v this_o have_v be_v read_v the_o common-prayer_n and_o in_o a_o letter_n which_o i_o now_o find_v accuse_v my_o wife_n with_o five_o or_o six_o vehement_a charge_n for_o tell_v she_o i_o will_v not_o read_v 〈◊〉_d common-prayer_n my_o wife_n be_v of_o my_o mind_n for_o the_o matter_n but_o great_o offend_v with_o i_o for_o seem_v to_o do_v it_o for_o the_o avoid_n of_o danger_n and_o be_v so_o far_o from_o not_o pardon_v these_o false_a smart_a accusation_n that_o she_o never_o once_o blame_v the_o good_a woman_n but_o love_v she_o tender_v she_o and_o relieve_v she_o in_o sickness_n to_o the_o death_n but_o hardly_o forgive_v i_o and_o yet_o draw_v i_o from_o all_o other_o place_n if_o the_o minister_n be_v not_o of_o my_o mind_n by_o prudent_a diversity_n much_o less_o do_v her_o suffering_n from_o the_o time_n distemper_v she_o she_o have_v 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upon_o good_a but_o her_o weakness_n can_v not_o bear_v the_o cross_n or_o frustration_n of_o it_o §_o 12._o but_o the_o great_a infirmity_n which_o tyrannize_v over_o she_o be_v a_o disease_a fearfulness_n against_o which_o she_o have_v little_o more_o free_a will_n or_o power_n than_o a_o man_n in_o a_o ague_n or_o frost_n against_o shake_v cold_a her_o nature_n be_v prone_a to_o it_o and_o i_o say_v before_o abundance_n of_o sad_a accident_n make_v that_o and_o trouble_v of_o mind_n her_o malady_n beside_o as_o she_o say_v four_o time_n in_o danger_n of_o death_n 2._o and_o the_o storm_a of_o her_o mother_n house_n by_o soldier_n fire_v part_n kill_v plunder_v and_o threaten_v the_o rest_n 3._o the_o awakening_n of_o her_o conversion_n 4._o the_o sentence_n of_o death_n by_o sickness_n present_o before_o her_o peace_n be_v settle_v 5._o the_o fire_n next_o her_o lodging_n in_o sweetings-alley_n 6._o the_o burn_a of_o a_o merchant_n his_o wife_n and_o family_n in_o lothbury_n overagainst_a her_o brother_n vpton_n door_n 7._o the_o common_a terror_n and_o confusion_n at_o dunstan_n church_n in_o fleetstreet_n when_o they_o think_v the_o church_n be_v fall_v on_o their_o head_n while_o i_o be_v preach_v and_o the_o people_n cast_v themselves_o down_o from_o the_o gallery_n 8._o her_o mother_n death_n 9_o the_o friendless_a state_n she_o think_v she_o be_v then_o leave_v in_o 10._o the_o great_a plague_n 11._o the_o burn_v of_o london_n 12._o the_o crack_n and_o danger_n of_o her_o chamber_n in_o aldersgate_n street_n 13._o the_o crack_n and_o confusion_n at_o st._n jame_n market-house_n 14._o the_o many_o fire_n and_o talk_n of_o fire_v since_o 15._o the_o common_a rumour_n of_o murdering_n and_o massacre_n 16._o the_o death_n and_o danger_n of_o many_o of_o her_o friend_n and_o my_o own_o illness_n more_o than_o all_o these_o concur_v to_o make_v fear_n and_o aptness_n to_o be_v trouble_v to_o be_v her_o disease_n so_o that_o she_o much_o dream_v of_o fire_n and_o murderer_n and_o her_o own_o dream_n work_v half_a as_o dangerous_o on_o she_o as_o reality_n so_o that_o she_o can_v not_o bear_v the_o clap_v of_o a_o door_n or_o any_o thing_n that_o have_v suddenness_n noise_n or_o fierceness_n in_o it_o but_o all_o this_o be_v more_o the_o malady_n of_o her_o body_n than_o of_o her_o soul_n and_o i_o account_v have_v little_a moral_a guilt_n and_o i_o take_v it_o for_o a_o evidence_n of_o the_o power_n of_o grace_n that_o so_o timorous_a a_o person_n 1._o have_v overcome_v most_o of_o her_o fear_n of_o hell_n and_o god_n desertion_n 2._o and_o be_v more_o fearless_a of_o persecution_n imprisonment_n or_o loss_n and_o poverty_n thereby_o than_o i_o or_o any_o that_o i_o remember_v to_o have_v know_v §_o 13._o and_o though_o her_o spirit_n be_v so_o quick_a and_o she_o so_o apt_a to_o be_v trouble_v at_o man_n sin_n who_o she_o much_o love_v she_o great_o differ_v from_o i_o in_o her_o bear_n with_o they_o and_o carriage_n towards_o they_o 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least_o fault_n than_o i_o do_v and_o be_v more_o desirous_a of_o their_o great_a innocency_n and_o exactness_n §_o 14._o indeed_o she_o be_v so_o much_o for_o calmness_n deliberation_n and_o do_v nothing_o rash_o and_o in_o haste_n and_o my_o condition_n and_o business_n as_o well_o as_o temper_v make_v i_o do_v and_o speak_v much_o so_o sudden_o that_o she_o principal_o differ_v from_o i_o and_o blame_v i_o in_o this_o every_o considerable_a case_n and_o business_n she_o will_v have_v i_o take_v time_n to_o think_v much_o of_o before_o i_o do_v it_o or_o speak_v or_o resolve_v of_o any_o thing_n i_o know_v the_o counsel_n be_v good_a for_o one_o that_o can_v stay_v but_o not_o for_o one_o that_o must_v ride_v post_n i_o think_v still_o i_o have_v but_o a_o little_a time_n to_o live_v i_o think_v some_o considerable_a work_n still_o call_v for_o haste_n i_o have_v these_o forty_o year_n be_v sensible_a of_o the_o sin_n of_o lose_v time_n i_o can_v not_o spare_v a_o hour_n i_o think_v i_o can_v understand_v the_o matter_n in_o question_n as_o well_o at_o a_o few_o thought_n as_o in_o many_o day_n and_o yet_o she_o that_o have_v less_o work_n and_o more_o leisure_n but_o a_o far_o quick_a apprehension_n than_o i_o be_v all_o for_o stay_v to_o consider_v and_o against_o haste_n and_o eagerness_n in_o almost_o every_o thing_n and_o notwithstanding_o she_o over_o quick_a and_o feel_a temper_n be_v all_o for_o mildness_n calmness_n gentleness_n pleasingness_n and_o serenity_n §_o 15._o she_o have_v a_o earnest_a desire_n of_o the_o conversion_n and_o salvation_n of_o her_o servant_n and_o be_v great_o trouble_v that_o so_o many_o of_o they_o though_o tolerable_a in_o their_o work_n go_v away_o ignorant_a or_o strange_a to_o true_a
your_o daily_a study_n and_o let_v i_o in_o writing_n see_v some_o fruit_n of_o your_o labour_n before_o i_o go_v hence_o and_o be_v see_v here_o no_o more_o be_v not_o want_v to_o your_o own_o comfort_n and_o you_o can_v displease_v god_n nor_o your_o mother_n who_o belong_v more_o after_o your_o eternal_a good_a than_o i_o can_v now_o utter_v my_o love_n to_o you_o all_o and_o prayer_n for_o you_o all_o i_o continue_v your_o most_o tender_o love_v mother_n m._n h._n §_o 22._o in_o another_o to_o oxford_n 1657._o all_o will_v work_v for_o good_a to_o they_o that_o love_n god_n i_o hope_v you_o be_v one_o of_o those_o the_o lord_n direct_v your_o path_n that_o you_o may_v work_v out_o your_o salvation_n with_o fear_n and_o tremble_a in_o your_o youth_n and_o not_o let_v time_n slip_v till_o age_n which_o will_v come_v or_o death_n before_o it_o on_o all_o flesh_n and_o a_o account_n must_v be_v give_v of_o the_o precious_a time_n which_o we_o now_o neglect_v i_o have_v more_o to_o 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every_o other_o suitor_n and_o even_o in_o the_o midst_n of_o crowd_n and_o business_n take_v we_o up_o and_o and_o press_v every_o creature_n and_o occasion_n for_o their_o service_n but_o while_o we_o be_v weak_a and_o compass_v with_o flesh_n we_o must_v not_o only_o consider_v what_o we_o shall_v do_v but_o what_o we_o can_v do_v it_o be_v our_o great_a fault_n that_o we_o be_v no_o skilfull_a and_o faithfull_a in_o help_v one_o another_o that_o we_o may_v miss_v each_o other_o on_o better_a reason_n than_o mere_o from_o the_o inclination_n of_o love_n i_o hope_v god_n will_v make_v we_o better_o hereafter_o that_o when_o we_o be_v asunder_o each_o of_o we_o may_v say_v i_o miss_v the_o help_n for_o watchfulness_n and_o heavenliness_n for_o true_a love_n and_o thankfulness_n to_o god_n which_o i_o be_v wont_a to_o have_v but_o o_o what_o a_o enemy_n be_v a_o naughty_a heart_n which_o make_v we_o unable_a for_o our_o duty_n alone_o and_o make_v we_o need_v the_o help_n of_o other_o 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be_v faulty_a and_o dull_a and_o my_o strength_n of_o nature_n fail_v be_v sure_a that_o he_o will_v be_v a_o thousand_o fold_n better_o to_o thou_o even_o here_o than_o such_o crooked_a feeble_a useless_a thing_n as_o be_v from_o hampden_n thy_o r._n b._n chap._n ix_o of_o her_o bodily_a infirmity_n and_o her_o death_n §_o 1._o her_o disease_a frightfulness_n and_o many_o former_a sickness_n i_o have_v mention_v before_o a_o great_a pain_n of_o the_o head_n hold_v she_o from_o her_o youth_n two_o or_o three_o day_n every_o fortnight_n or_o little_o more_o and_o upon_o every_o thing_n that_o do_v irritate_fw-la the_o matter_n she_o have_v a_o constant_a straitness_n in_o the_o lung_n a_o great_a incapacity_n of_o much_o exercise_n motion_n or_o any_o heat_a thing_n ever_o since_o her_o sickness_n 1659._o she_o have_v live_v in_o a_o ill-conceited_n fear_v of_o distraction_n which_o great_o hurt_v she_o it_o be_v because_o she_o have_v a_o aunt_n long_o so_o decease_a and_o her_o parent_n be_v natural_o passionate_a and_o her_o spirit_n overquick_a and_o her_o blood_n thin_a and_o mobile_n and_o though_o wisdom_n hide_v it_o from_o other_o in_o her_o converse_n she_o feel_v the_o trouble_n of_o she_o own_o mind_n in_o thing_n as_o aforesaid_a that_o much_o displease_v she_o and_o so_o live_v in_o a_o constant_a fear_n which_o tend_v to_o have_v bring_v on_o she_o what_o she_o fear_v but_o her_o understanding_n be_v so_o far_o from_o fail_v that_o it_o be_v high_a and_o clear_a than_o other_o people_n but_o like_o the_o treble_a string_n of_o a_o lute_n strain_v up_o to_o the_o high_a sweet_a but_o in_o continual_a danger_n §_o 2._o about_o three_o year_n ago_o by_o the_o mis-perswasion_n of_o a_o friend_n drink_v against_o the_o colic_n a_o spoonful_n of_o powder_a ginger_n every_o morning_n near_o a_o quarter_n of_o a_o year_n together_o and_o then_o fall_v into_o some_o over-whelming_a thought_n beside_o it_o overthrow_v her_o head_n for_o a_o few_o day_n but_o god_n in_o great_a mercy_n soon_o restore_v she_o §_o 3._o ever_o since_o that_o time_n her_o headache_n abate_v and_o she_o complain_v of_o a_o pain_n in_o one_o of_o her_o breast_n and_o her_o uncurable_a timerousness_n settle_v she_o in_o a_o conceit_n that_o she_o shall_v have_v a_o cancer_n which_o i_o see_v no_o great_a cause_n to_o fear_v but_o she_o can_v neither_o endure_v to_o hear_v that_o it_o be_v none_o or_o that_o it_o be_v but_o in_o fear_v uncertainty_n prepare_v constant_o for_o a_o sad_a death_n and_o several_a friend_n neighbour_n and_o relation_n late_o die_v of_o cancer_n increase_v her_o fear_n but_o she_o seem_v to_o be_v prepare_v cheerful_o to_o undergo_v it_o §_o 4._o the_o many_o and_o weekly_a rumour_n of_o plot_n firing_n massacre_n etc._n etc._n much_o increase_v this_o fear_n as_o be_v aforesaid_a and_o the_o death_n of_o very_a many_o neighbour_n young_a strong_a and_o excellent_a christian_n of_o great_a use_n and_o many_o near_a friend_n do_v 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the_o last_o occasion_n of_o her_o sickness_n and_o too_o much_o tincture_n of_o amber_n which_o work_v too_o powerful_o on_o her_o brain_n and_o sudden_o cast_v she_o into_o strong_a disturbance_n and_o deliration_n in_o which_o though_o the_o physician_n with_o great_a kindness_n and_o care_n do_v omit_v nothing_o in_o their_o power_n she_o die_v the_o 12_o day_n she_o fall_v sick_a on_o friday_n june_n 3._o 1681._o and_o die_v june_n 14._o §_o 7._o though_o her_o understanding_n never_o perfect_o return_v she_o have_v a_o very_a strong_a remembrance_n of_o the_o affect_a passage_n of_o her_o life_n from_o her_o childhood_n mrs._n corbet_n who_o she_o dear_o love_v and_o have_v new_o get_v into_o the_o house_n to_o be_v her_o companion_n with_o other_o standing_z by_z she_o cry_v out_o to_o i_o my_o mother_n be_v in_o heaven_n and_o mr._n corbet_n be_v in_o heaven_n and_o thou_o and_o i_o shall_v be_v in_o heaven_n and_o even_o in_o her_o last_o weakness_n be_v persuade_v of_o her_o salvation_n §_o 8._o she_o oft_o show_v we_o that_o her_o soul_n do_v work_v towards_o god_n cry_v out_o complain_v of_o her_o head_n lord_z make_v i_o know_v what_o i_o have_v do_v fâ—r_v which_o i_o undergo_v all_o this_o lord_n i_o submit_v god_n choose_v best_a for_o i_o she_o desire_v i_o to_o pray_v by_o she_o and_o seem_v quiet_o to_o join_v to_o the_o end_n she_o hear_v divers_a psalm_n and_o a_o chapter_n read_v and_o repeat_v part_n and_o sing_v part_n of_o a_o psalm_n herself_o the_o last_o word_n that_o she_o speak_v be_v my_o god_n help_v i_o lord_n have_v mercy_n upon_o i_o §_o 9_o god_n have_v be_v so_o many_o year_n train_v she_o up_o under_o the_o