say you had abus'd his light By doing that it was asham'd to see And therefore darknesse must your portion bee The night which you can scarce distinguish then Whilst your sad thoughts your errours may condemne Instead of sleepe should with a thousand feares Sound your wak'd conscience larums in your eares Vnfold your guilts and crowne your watchfull eyes Not with a dreame but sence of Miseries Then death which or you feare not or despise Must coldly in your apprehensions rise And teach you truly what it is to die Not natures but the sonnes of infamie ☞ But such considerations haue long since With your worst thoughts a cruell difference For you beleeue you haue deseru'd to bee Admir'd not scorn'd for your past villany And that the actions you haue done are such As pace with honour can endure the touch Of cruell'st censure whilst you fondly deeme That men you braue and valiant doe esteeme And so are bound with your ills to conniue And in despight of Law keepe you aliue So from the Gaole vnto the halter goe Carelesse of now or after ouerthrow Base vsurpation and conceits as vaine As are your liues expenses and your gaine For good and braue men censure right your sinne And pitty you and the course you are in Rather in common Pietie then that Your vilde defeatings should be wondred at And since you are discouered thus by mee If by mistake before a man might bee So cheated with your boastings and lowd talke Because he neuer knew the tracke you walke With your disguises now his Iudgement may Be altered betterd or quite throwne away When all your fained worths appeare to be But faint protectors of your infamy Disabled in the poore things you commit Which neither are for worth nor valour fit Your ends besides if nothing else might draw ☞ You into feare to breake the rigorous Law Vnhappie he that hangs vpon a tree The wretched guerdon of impietie Nor Dyes the shame with him that suffers so His family in such an ouerthrow Participate and share whose innocence Are Dyed in scandall but for his offence And the whole stocke aboue an age in time Is blasted for this debt he paid his crime And yet these sencelesse Caitiues who inherit This way of dying by their owne demerit Laugh at this Iudgement call it a fine thing Thus to be pulld to heauen in a stringe And that the Apoplex fleames and Catarre More cruell to the soules of Christians are Then hanging for these passions take men hence Ere they can thinke of dying or haue sence Of their repentance being snatcht away Scarce with so poore a warning as to pray But these haue Sermons prayer Sacrament Psalmes and alwayes to bring them to repent And a great audience of the people by For whose faire warning th' are content to dy And thus their strong deluder drawes them on To laugh at and deserues destruction What should be their example and afright them Doe rather please reioyce content delight them ☞ But you fond men it may be doe suppose Because I scap'd that you shall neither loose Your forfeit liues I wish the grace I found May not to any of your harmes redownd I meane to your encouragement you know But of particulars no generalls grow One Swallow makes no Summer though Noyes flood Once ouerwhelmed all the liuing brood That stroue against the streame topping the rankes Of the great Mountaines and the lesser Bankes With euery Grawling creature not one mist Though they Lent all their powers to resist Yet God hath promised we haue vnderstood He will not send vs such another flood Things seldome are not vsuall besides strong The reasons are that did my life prolong You must conclude that had the time not byn The Iubily of mercy when my sinne Was cald in question I had president Bin not in writing but in punishment For that great power by whom we gouern'd are To limit my ill courses straind so farre Thus tooke me from my sinne and did contriue How by strange meanes I should be kept aliue For know iust at that instant when the ioyes Of great men good men old men young men Boyes Had but one obiect like the heauenly spheares Whose harmony one note one burthen beares Then when each face did like a Bridegroome smile And one entire contentment crown'd this Isle The Birds the Beasts the men and euery thing Presenting their glad Aues to their king Who like a Sunne new risen on the earth Disdaines to view a corner where 's not mirth So threw a beame on me whose lucklesse fate Was then midst all this ioy disconsolate Then was my apprehension euen iust then As if my faults distinguish'd me from men That were ordain'd for ioy or mine offence Deny'd my share in blisse of Innocence Yet this preseru'd me Barabbas must be At the great Feast from death and bondage free It was no fauour to the man or crime That sau'd his life his blessing was the time Nor could my glorious Sunne that Rose so faire With blood infect or cloud the laughing aire Or die the Crimson of his Morne with red Of Malefactors blood so early shed His beauty is his owne nor would he shine At first in Iustice though 't is cald diuine Hence grew the Mercy that my ioy so might Be in respect of all mens tripartite For besides this I had an Aduocate Whose vertue could the hardest penetrate And make compassion easie for her smile Could the sad browes of sternesse reconcile Her sweetnesse can the angry Ocean calme And turne the Aspe his poison into Balme And stay the thunders heauy hand iust then When it is threatning ruine to all men The Tiger of her yong-ones robd would stay But at her presence and forbeare her prey The angriest things must at her sight appeare As smooth as August or the springing yeare She the rich partner of his royall bed Who weares a triple crowne vpon his head Embrac'd him cald him Lord and at that word Who could denie a pardon to afford She ask'd he gaue and my deare fate in this Got my free pardon she a bountious kisse So sweetly seald was my remisse from death So ratified by this so royall breath Presume not yet on this occasion so Will not her liberall aide to all bestow One thiefe was sau'd that no man should despaire But one so that presumptions forfeit are He with his Sauiour died blest time for him Who else had found no pardon for his sinne I in my Soueraignes glory was to die And that time set my life at liberty Note the occasions strange that set vs free Me from this death him to eternitie My Prince's crowning his Redeemers death Assur'd his soule and did restore my breath But euery day is not Coronation Nor Did many suffer with our Sauiour And mercy at such times as these extended To Iudgements turne if grace be twice offended And now you thinke me happy being free From death and shame by
A RECANTATION Of an ill led Life OR A discouerie of the High-way Law WITH Vehement disswasions to all in that kind OFFENDERS As also Many cautelous Admonitions and full Instructions how to know shun and apprehend a Theefe MOST Necessarie for all honest Trauellers to per'use obserue and Practise Written by Iohn Clauell Gent. Ego non sum Ego Quà ntum mutatus ab illo Approued by the KINGS most Excellent Maiestie and published by his expresse Commaund LONDON Printed for Richard Meighen 1628. The Epistle Dedicatorie To the Kings most Excellent Maiestie THat you may see great King you haue not done A worke in which your glory shall not liue In sauing me the course which I haue runne Behold deciphred here to you I giue In which I doe so punctually set forth Euen in the liueliest colours what I know Of those base wayes that who so has of worth The meanest sparke will scorne the like to doe I haue not only charactred this ill But Actors to that the least iudging eye Those Locusts which your Land with trouble fill May in their chief'st disguises them discrie So that in sauing me you haue destroy'd O Heauen knowes what a crew of those vild things By whom your better people were anoy'd Whose liues may now speake seruice to their Kings And for my selfe let my Detractors call This course a seruile one and to my shame Say I haue rip'd the bowels vp of all And to preserue my life haue lost my fame By such detections but great Sir you know Your bountie without article or tie My forfeit life so freely did bestow You bad it was obey'd I did not die This then I pay to you a double debt First to that grace preseru'd me Next that borne dutie I must not forget which is yours The subiect ow's to Princes and their powers The last made greater by the first engage Both life and dutie in a two-fold band Which may produce vnto succeeding age Storiet worth my redemption which may stand With the faire memories of men so plac'd The times may blesse your mercy by whose grace This shame and ills of mine are quite defac'd When vertue shall succeed in vice his place So that what after good my life shall bring Must needs be call'd the blessing of my King Your Maiesties most humbly deuoted prostitute Iohn Clauell TO HER NEVER TO BE equall'd MAIESTIE the Queene of Great Brittaine c. HOnours Store-house Vertues Storie Fames best Trophie Natures Glorie O may with mosse the Muses floud Be ouer growne damm'd vp with mud All their holy Hils polluted And their Oracles confuted If that they straine not all they may Now their best vowes to you to pay And hoarse as Rauens may they sing Who dare neglect their offering Or find a subiect for a Verse That any meaner worths rehearse You the true Storie are and all That 's rich faire sweet Maiesticall The fullest wonder of our time For Chronicles in Prose or Rime And like the Rosie morne doe blesse Our drooping Land with cheerefulnesse Throwing your bountie's euery where As fresh and fragrant as the ayre The Woodbines and the Violet The Season of the Yeare forget And to attend your sweetnesse doe Grow euery where you tread or goe I in the Autume of my life When guilt and Iustice were at strife Was by your royall breath strange thing Vnwithered turn'd into my Spring Accept this Sacrifice great Queene In which no merit can be seene But that your Royall Name doe blesse My Muse in her vnworthinesse And though no lustre crowne my art Holy fires inspires my heart Obedience Dutie Zeale attend The faithfull tribute that I send So the Gods accept of still Not the off'ring but the will Celuy qui plus honor vos vertus admire vostre Bonte Clemence qui est le plus oblige a vostre Maiestate Iehan Clauell To the no lesse ennobled by Vertue theâ—… Honourable by their Titles and Dignities the Duchesses Marchionesses Countesses with the rest of the most worthy and noble Ladies of the Court of that great Queene of Mercie her Maiestie of Great Brittaine THe hardest heart with rudest hand That is least subiect to command That feares not God grimme Death nor Hell Nor euer knew but to rebell Seizing by force and rifling all That in his greedie Clutches fall As you passe by must in a Maze Voyd of all power stand and gaze Such awe a Ladies presence beares Filling a Rake-hells heart which feares Besides you alwayes haue your guide And a safe conuoy as you ride Not to protect you there 's no need Is then this Storie you may reade This chiefly is to let you see My good amendments constancie Our blessed Queene mou'd thereunto I doe presume by some of you Preseru'd my life accept you then Iust thankes from my vnskilfull pen Loe this I was enioyn'd to write But I meane shortly to indite A perfect true and ample Storie That shall speake nothing but your glory Accept meane while what heere you see You 'le otherwise dishearten mee The admired of Vertues Iohn Clauell To the right Honourable the Lords of his Maiesties most Honourable Priuie Counsaile and Counsaile of Warre Right Honourable So vild and audacious so publike and rebellious haue mine offences beene such and so extraordinary the mercy I haue receiued of both which I am truly sensible that I wish really and sincerely from my heart I had suffered the shamefull death was due vnto mee then that now there is a faire occasion I should bee debarred from regaining my lost honour and reputation in his Maiesties Warres abroad May it please your Honours when I saw all my fellow offenders and other Delinquents whatsoeuer discharged and sent vpon imployment I enuied not their happinesse but seriously began to consider how I who alone was denied that fairest way of all might doe my Country some seruice euen whilst I continued here an vnfortunate and wretched prisoner Thus sadly musing finding my Conscience burthened I resolued to write this reall Recantation of all my euill wayes whereby I haue not only disarmed and preuented my selfe from falling into the same lewd course of life at any time hereafter but also so fully and faithfully instructed all honest Trauellers that no man that will bee pleased to follow my aduise can from hence forth that way miscarry Sithence therefore I haue yeelded so faire a testimonie both of my contrition and conuersion I most humbly beseech your Honours to entertaine a fauourable and good opinion of me and moued thence vnto commiseration that you would vouchsafe to grant a Warrant for my discharge that I may not spend my youthfull dayes in this miserable and wretched prison but may on vpon my Prince and Countries seruice where I am resolued to acquite my selfe by some braue and notable exploite or a worthy death and whilst I liue I shall at all times rest accountable for my libertie and the life that is lent Your Honours
fortresses lay siege The simpathizing liking and those parts Of loues religion which locks louers hearts Was throwne on me and these who can disproue Must either haue no heart or know no loue In pitty then to Citharaea's Shrine All you that sacrifice your thoughts diuine Since we are pleas'd let none our peace molest Nor breake the Vnion of so sweet a rest With nice inquiry after things you must Confesse you haue no businesse with that 's iust And we shall be if you but leaue vs so More happy then 't is fit for you to know ☞ Yet for my selfe beleeue I haue the sence Of mine owne youth's abusing and offence Which I haue wrought against the Common-weale Whose wounds by this relation I may heale If my aduice be follow'd you will see The soule vnlac'd of high-way subtiltie That who shall suffer now in such offence Has none to blame but his owne negligence I doe besides my pretious youth lament My reput's forfeit hoâ—…â—…shment The deare mispences of my fairest time Conuerting all my blessings into crime My wit my Iudgement strength courage and all Vnto my Countries mischiefe mine owne fall Nor doe I thinke it halfe enough that I Barely confesse mine owne impiety And talking onely to the people shew Those guilts perhaps before I speake they know Or with a superficiall glosse thus seeme To flatter men into a faire esteeme Of my best promis'd actions whose euent Might proue the speakers of a worse intent No naked as first Adam's Innocence I strip the deform'd shape of mine offence Dislodging from my heart that banisht spirit That can no dwelling there againe inherit And on iust cause diuorc'd from such a bride Can hardly now it 's memory abide Me thinkes thus purg'd I hate the very roome Which that vild Inmates lodging was become And as the bodies glorified scorne The thoughts of ioyes wherewith their frailty's borne Despising as it were the fullest things Which the dull earth to our admiring brings So my refined soule and my cleare minde Can in these vild companions no peace finde But troubled at the old acquaintance grow Thought-sick that e're such practice they did know Or as the Epicure whose working wish Is dreaming still vpon some curious dish On which his waking thoughts and sleepe imploy'd Are busily vntill it be enioyâ—d Which purchac'd his discretion is farre lesse Then was his couet ere he did possesse For gluttonizing his o're-charged chest He neither can vngorge nor yet digest Till surfeited to death he loaths it more Then ere he did embrace or loue before So I whose easie youth with fond admire Was drawne at first this ill course to desire Hug'd it in dreames and in my waking fits Doted vpon 't to my worse losse of wits Whil'st I esteem'd none braue or good but this But now I know how farre I was amisse And surfeited as 't were to death indeed From which by rare ingredients I am freed I loath my stomacke-queller and abhorre What I in too much louing sufferd for Nor can profession free me from the doome Of cruel'st censure and opinion These actuall ills of mine freely confess'd Must be in act recouer'd or exprest My faire intentions cannot be nor I Sau'd from the taxe of my first infamie ☞ O may my fate so well prouide as now That power which knowes may helpe me in my vow And crowne my resolutions with some way Which of the world and heauen recouer may All my lost honour by some acts of mine That may proue farre more welcome to the time Then my disastrous courses and expresse I am much better then I dare professe And that great king whose mercy goodnesse grace Hath fixt my tottering life in a firme place Whose royall bounty do's I know expect From my so great enioying some effect Which may a thankfull tribute pay to him And speake the full redemption of my sinne You mightie Sir to whom my life I owe As debt to that great grace you did bestowe May now command it prostrate at your feet In any danger I shall haste to meet That so by seruing in your enterprise You may perceiue how true a sacrifice I le make againe of what you gaue so free And that 's the offering must accepted bee I hope great Sir it is not your intent That I shall spend my dayes in Banishment For happier farre is he condemn'd that dies Then him you saue t'exile from your faire eies For what auailes the blinded man to see If that a dungeon must his prison bee Where doubly curs'd to be debarr'd from light He dwells that knew 't not whil'st he wanted sight O let me liue where euery day I may My most religious offrings truely pay And that the life you gaue me be not made A trouble to me whil'st my thoughts inuade My discontented soule with torments strange Not that I must my aire and Country change Or bard inheriting thereby forgoe The temporall fortunes I am borne vnto But that the Shryne I worship should not see The constant sacrifice is made by mee Me thinkes could doe more then common men For no such obligation strengthens them That my Prince might his owne great power know In seruice I could doe vpon his foe So let me liue that vent'ring so to die I pay my debt and suffer happilie Viuit post funera virtus FINIS To the Kings most excellent Maiestie John Clauell wisheth a long and prosperous reigne in this and in the world to come a plenteous share of those peculiar blessings which God himselfe out of his wonderfull and abundant goodnes hath prouided and set apart euen for the choisest of his elect which are farre beyond the imagniation of mortall men to conceiue much more impossible to be expressed IT grieues my soule and wounds my troubled minde That onely I alone must be confinde When others are let loose that they may gaine The honour they haue lost whil'st my foule staine Blurres both my birth and fortunes had I dide My ignominious death had satisfide But to liue still and still to liue in shame Within the summons of vpbraiding fame Is a worse plague then euer Egypt had It may be thought I that haue beene so bad Cannot recant but very likely may Fall to my old rebellion on the way First let this treaty plead then here I call My God aboue to witnesse who knowes all The secrets of my heart I doe intend Whilst these your warres endure euen there to spend My time in that braue seruice when that ends If I chance to suruiue I haue then friends And a poore fortune of my owne that can Fairely maintaine me like an honest man If so your Highnesse please that I may haue My gratious pardon you so freely gaue What is required of me I cannot pay If that the meanes wherewith be kept away Confinde within these walls is it your will That I a prisoner here continue still When I was past the cure and helpe of men You that could onely shielded me iust then When death had taken leuell with his dart Was it that I might feele this greater smart O no I neuer since haue beg'd that boone But you great Sir haue granted it right soone Yet notwithstanding your most royall pleasure I am enforc'd to tarry others leasure Like Tantalus in this my hell I see And know the grace you haue bestowd on me But may not touch it and enioy much lesse The more 's my griefe and my vnhappinesse O free me from this lingring lethergie Set me at liberty or let me die