gaue me motion to serue him I haue sometimes wished an end of my miserie lest miserie should cause my end but I found how foolish I was to wish for an end of that which can no way possible haue an end before my end for miserie is an inseparable companion to man so long as he is man for ceasing to be miserable he becommeth an Angell and no man He that falls from diuine contemplation to take content in the world is as he that after he hath bin fed with meat of Angels falls afterward to delight in Swines meat sensuall desires shall not captiuate my reason to the soueraigntie of Sence I resolue so to liue that dying I may liue for this life as it is a death so death to the good is an aduantage of life True it is which Democritus saith Truth lyeth hid in certaine deepe mines or caues yet being daughter to time she will be at last discouered after she hath bin so long depressed neuer neuer Truth loues to be retired from the world because shee sees that her fauourites be few in the world and rather will she liue a stale virgin than bestow herselfe of such as will but make a stale of her Mans life is a globe of examples a shadow of imitation where the latter day is euer scholer to the former I wish no further knowledge than to be a perfect scholer in Christ-crosse row for there as in a mirrour shall I behold Gods mercie mans miserie his miserie in falling Gods mercy in raising matter of thanksgiuing in man to God argument of affection in God to man Long is it since I purposed my conversion but yet a litle and then a litle makes to morrow as far from conversion as was yesterday I collect hence how powerfullst Resolues produce oft-times the poorest effects henceforth therefore I intend not to put off till to morrow by idling to day lest I neuer liue to repent on to morrow being call'd on to day I haue run a great part of my race am out-stripped by all in the course of vertue what remaines but that I should now strip my selfe of this heauy garment with which I am ouer-loaded that I may put on the heauenly garment with which those happy runners the Saints are adorned He that failes in his course cannot obtaine the goale and soone brethlesse am I vnlesse the Lord infuse his diuine breath in me I will therefore run and pray run that I may obteine pray that I cease not to run till I obteyne I haue found how soone affliction alters the countenance of adulterate friendship I haue a litle taste of it and experience bids me make this vse of it Though one Swallow make no summer yet one mans summer makes many Swallowes I will seeke therfore to gaine friends after time since most of these worldly friends are but obseruers of time Pittie it is I heare some say such a braue spirit should want but what a wittall was he that through his owne follie should enforce his own want with others pittie Enuie is better than pitty in estate not in honour for the decrease of honor as she is enuied before her fall yeelds argument of pitty so is shee oft-times restored by being generally pittied where estate as she was an obiect of enuie so piteously complayning shee remaines the same poore without altering I will not like another Herodicus doe nothing all my life long but intend my health for why should I bestow more care on the case than on the instrument within the case on the bodie than the soule No I will reserue that moderate care for the health of my bodie that like a good instrument it may euer yeeld cheerfull musick to the eare of my soule so shall my soule by the ministerie of my bodie conforme her-selfe in obedience to him that made the soule to enlighten the bodie It is strange to know what an impression of loue absence breeds in the Louer I wish the like effect in the absence of my soule from her Creator she is here diuided by the vaile of her flesh may shee be more firmely vnited to him in spirit she is here a prisoner may her desires pierce through these walls of earth and expresse their feruencie to the God of heauen shee is here a pilgrim may her skrip be humilitie her weede sanctitie her staffe charitie and her foode the nourishing milke of the word shee is an exile may shee hasten to her natiue country cherefully leauing this vale of misery shee is an Orphan may she addresse her-selfe thither where raignes the Widdowes iudge and Orphans father Abide here ô my soule let this be thy retreit cheere thy spirit ô my soule with this eternall receit he it is that from perills past hath preserued thee in perills present hath armed thee against perills to come hath fore-warned thee He it is invites thee fore-slowing expects thee opposing recalls thee straying and embraces thee returning He it is that protects thee resting assists thee labouring exhorts thee fighting and crownes thee vanquishing fore-slow not therfore since he invites thee oppose him not since he expects thee stray no farther since he recalls thee but returne with speed that he may embrace thee Rest thou mayst with ioy being so protected labour in hope being so assisted fight with courage being so excited and vanquish with comfort being to be crowned We must passe through a wildernesse to Canaan this wildernesse is the wide world ô may my soule neuer murmur though hunger should annoy her thirst afflict her all perturbations enclose her yea let her rather say with Iob I beleeue that my Redeemer liueth and that with these eyes I shall see him happie eyes that are made contemplators of such exceeding glory ô may my eyes grow dim with weeping to be afterwards partakers of so glorious a vision I resolue now to bid farewell to the world before I leaue it that being in it I may not be of it there is no affinitie betweene the citizens of Mammon and Syon I will fall by a loathing of the one to an vnfained louing of the other that in contempt of this world I may make my account more free in the world to come I will make the worlds follie my chiefest policie soule-wise without desire of sole-wise or self-wise may humilitie henceforth conduct me for conceit of knowledge through an opinionate arrogance hath made me many times glory in my owne ignorance I had rather be imprisoned in the flesh then by the flesh for so I bee freed in minde I little care though I be imprisoned in body since restraint of the one enlargeth the Libertie of the other whether therefore at freedome or restrained I resolue so to liue that my conscience may be a Testimonie how I haue liued making in Prison better vse of my grace then the Curtezan of her Glasse for there will I note the blemishes of my soule while she the spots and moles in her face
there shall I learne how to liue how to die for my Creator while she how to loue how to dye her colour different from what was giuen her by her Maker Hee that seeks to preuent that which cannot be auoyded flies into Adams groue to sconce himselfe from Gods iudgment I finde this approued when I labour to be exempted from the stroke of Death which can by no meanes be preuented whose doome as it is certaine so is his date vncertaine knocke he will but at what time I know not I will therefore so set all things in order before he come that he may finde me prouided when he comes I would be loth to be taken napping I will therefore so addresse my selfe euery houre that I may cheerfully embrace death in my last houre receiuing him not with feare as a guest that will be of necessitie harboured but with a friendly wellcome as one by whom I shall be to a secure harbour conducted Death as he is importunate so is he iminent fearefull to the rich but cheerefull to the poore for affliction breeds a loathing in liuing an accomplished content in dying knowing that there is an end of miserie apportioned by Death which was not granted to man during life I wish so to liue that my life may be an argument that I did liue sith life without employment the essence of mans life hath more affinitie with death than life As my God is Alpha and Omega being my Alpha begun in the kingdome of grace so he will be my Omega accomplished in the kingdom of glory the last day of my liuing the first day of my raigning the houre of my bodies discention into earth the houre of my soules ascention into heauen FINIS The heauenly Exercise of the fiue Sences couched in a diuine Poem LEt eye eare touch tast smell let euery Sence Employ it selfe to praise his prouidence Who gaue an eye to see but why was 't giuen To guide our feet on earth our soules to heauen An Eare to heare but what not iests o' th' time Vaine or prophane but melodie diuine A touch to feele but what griefes of our brother And t' haue a fellow feeling one of other A tast to relish what mans soueraigne blisse Come taste and see the Lord how sweet he is A smell to breath and what flowers that afford All choice content the odours of his word If our fiue Sences thus employed be We may our Sauiour smell tast touch heare see Vpon his Resolues MAy I resolue so my resolues expresse That th' world may see I am what I profess May Earth be my least care my heart on him Whose crosse's my crowne whose Sonne did salue my sin THE AVTHORS OPINION OF MARRIAGE Deliuered in a satisfying Character to his friend SIR as I am no Timon so am I no marriage-affecting Libertine I will labour therefore to satisfie your demands exactly making experience my directresse whose late familiaritie hath instructed me in this positiue Doctrine As it repenteth me not to know it now so it litle repenteth me not to haue knowne it before now for as the present estate adds to my content so my former want perhaps kept me from discontent I perceiue no such thing as bondage in marriage onely a restraint from Batchler-sensualitie which merits not the name of seruitude but libertie Vpon consideration had of two estates I account mariage concurring neerer with perfection and I ground my opinion vpon no worse probabilitie than the Arithmeticians maxime Numbers haue their beginning but not perfection from vnities yet exclude I not these two indiuidually vnited from that incomparable effect of marriage vnitie Content I finde more accomplished where mindes are consorting for singlenesse includes rather the condition of an Anchorite than of one affecting societie This better for procreation That for contemplation There is no felicitie if earth may be said to enioy it like a fellow-helper no fellow-helper equall to a faithfull bosom-friend I am neither for committing secrets nor concealing them till I finde an aptnesse to conceale or faith to reserue I finde Mysogenes opinion grosse and erroneous touching the secrecie of a woman a faithfull wife cannot chuse but be a good Secretarie Shee makes her husbands reputation her principall subiect and chuseth rather to dye than it should dye Her acquaintance is not popular nor craues shee rather to be seene what she weares than to be knowne what shee is Vertue is her best habit and her garnish is beholden more to Nature than Art shee affects no colours doing well without pretence of glory affecting what is good without desire of applause I haue bin in a strange error and it much repents me of it where imagination suggested to me wedlocke could not be without some aspersion of lust for I perceiue the sanctitie and puritie of the rite adds more to content than the outward delight it relisheth more of the Spirit than the flesh he that feeles an other effect in marriage he is more brutish than reasonable The best purchase is a good wife and the worst is her contrary I haue commended Arminius opinion and haue long embraced it whose conceit was so much remoued from the affection of marriage as he censured him dead to earths-comforts that tooke himselfe to any other bed-fellow than his owne minde to converse with but I exclaime now vpon that heresie I finde my minde strengthned by conference and that proceeds with best grace and consonance from a faithfull mate I will not trust her with my bodie whom I dare not make partner of my minde and though the excellencie of the one surpasse the frailtie of the other yet will I not commend the one where I dare not commit the other For frailtie of Sexes I conceiue how apt man is to iudge sinisterly of the weaker vessell and I impute it either to a want of Braines in that they cannot diue into the excellencie of so pure and exquisite a composition or some hard hap they haue had in making choice of such infirme creatures I haue found one though weake by condition yet firme in her affection making her resolues so vndoubtedly approued by him she loues as she hath vowed to engrosse her loue to none saue him she onely loues her content is so setled as she scornes to haue it diuided for she knowes that a heart diuided cānot liue She professeth her selfe to be not where shee liues but where she loues and the Adamant which drawes her to affection is the perswaded ground she intertaines of her husbands disposition which is too choice to be popular and too relenting not to be wonne as meere protestations were not of force to winne her so flatterie was too palpable a suter to woe her Content is worth a kingdome and my kingdome is my owne familie where I make euery day my account casting vp in the euening what I did in the day I thinke my day well bestowed if employed in the seruice of
thoughts from such an vngenerous condition meane time as the intentions of my soule are grounded on a more setled foundation than the opinion of that monster-multitude so shall my studies euer be directed for the satisfactorie delight and profit of the generous I am now drawing from the world heauens forbid that I should proue such a seruile obseruer of the world as to prize her Fauours before my fortunes in an other world In briefe as I am now learning how to number my dayes so will I take a strict account of the expence of my howres that my dayes well numbred may bring me to the length of dayes neuer to be summed that my howres well expended may bring me to ioyes in that last howre neuer to be ended so shall those vertues which I haue in others admired moue me to imitation those vices which I haue obserued in others enforce in me a detestation Male de me loquuntur sed mali mouerer si de me M. Cato si Lelius sapiens si duo Scipiones ista loquerentur nunc malis displicere laudari est Seneca ad Galion de remed fortuit FINIS RESOLVES I Offered before the sacrifice of my teares now remaines the prosecution of my Resolues that as the first were symbols and signalls of my conuersion and contrition so the latter might be persuasiue motiues of my firmer resolution Dry be those teares of repentance which are not seconded by a zealous continuance sith the perfection of vertue is perseuerance and fruitlesse is that zeale which like the seede in the parable is either by the thornie cares of the world choaked by the heat of persecution parched or by stonie impenitencie and obduracie withered I will therefore by the power of him that made me so forme my Resolution that I may finde a comfortable friend in the day of my dissolution so shall the howre of my death be my convoy to life my Exit a conduct to a more glorious intrat my farewell on earth to my welfare in heauen reaping for what I sowed in teares in a plenteous haruest of ioyes Thus therefore I addresse my Resolues which I wish may be with like feruor receiued as they were composed ministring no lesse matter of consolation to the devout Reader then they did of mortification to the penitent Author I resolue to fix mine eye more intentiuely vpon my image that my forme may put me in minde of my former I haue conversed too long with the world I will fall from discourse to contemplation from talking with the world to contemplate him that made the world I will no longer put my candle vnder a bushell shrowding my soules lustre with my bodies couer but will display the eminence of the one by the basenes of the other Since it is not granted to man to loue and to be wise willingly will I incurre the opinion of vnwise to gaine the loue of him that is solely wise The most precious things haue euer the most pernicious keepers which I found too true when I made my bodie my soules guardian I will henceforth esteeme more highly of such a treasure than to commit it to the trust of a Traytor I haue obserued two Solstices in the Sunnes motion but none in times revolution I will redeeme therefore my time while opportunitie is offred for being past shee is not to be recalled I haue seene young mens loue end in lust old mens in dotage if ere I plant my affection I will so waine my selfe from the first that my chast youth may exempt me from the latter Elegantly expressed was that conceit of the Emperor Fortune hath somewhat of the nature of a woman that if she be too much wooed shee is the farther of I will thinke it therefore the best of fortune neither to be allured by her fawne nor deiected by her frowne for our indifferencie towards fortune makes vs most fortunate Excellent was that soueraigntie or regencie of Fortune attributed by Liuie to Cato Maior In whom saith he there appeared such abilitie both for constancie of minde and maturitie of wit as in what place soeuer he bore himselfe he seemed to be the moulder and maker of his owne fortune but I desire no such transcendencie more haue fallen through the height of successe than for the want of meanes This is my wish to enioy no other meanes than my Sauiour who makes meanes for me to his Father I haue wondred at the strict accounts betwixt man and man while Man the image of his Creator forgets his accounts due to God by man I resolue therefore to make the Euening the summer vp of the day and morning that my daily Memorandums may direct me in my reckning when I shall come to be accomptant for my dispensing In my childhood I wished time after time to please my waggish fancie now is my wish extended to the length of time resoluing to liue to my fathers glory It grieues mee when I call to minde how those many howres of vanitie which did once delight me shall be produced as so many witnesses to condemne me yet am I cheered with this Resolue that He who moued me to this remorce for my sin will not suffer me to make relapse into sin nor will pronounce the iudgment of death on me for my former sin Grieuous sinnes require grieuous sighes I will passe therefore the remainder of my time in lamenting as I spent the prime of my time in transgressing so shall my teares witnesse my contrition my retire from the world my conuersion that in both I may adde to my soules glory by wayning my bodie from the conceit of her beauty Ech thing we see in her kinde and nature yet man by sin a priuitiue degenerates from his nature primitiue opposing himselfe by transgressing his law that made him for himselfe I haue heard many call this life a Pilgrimage yet did they liue in it as if it had bin the sole hope of their inheritance I resolue therefore to take in hand the actiue part and leaue the discursiue doe before I speake practise mortification before I prattle of it so shall my discourse be powerfull subsisting in the worke not word not externall or for fashion but in essence and operation I haue oftentimes entred into discourse with my selfe making the scope thereof venite abite I contemplated withall the happinesse of those fiue Virgins receiued the miserie of those fiue reiected reasoning with my selfe what this should meane and I found that no entry was admitted where the oyle of grace was not infused and that the heauenly Bridegroome will be by vs watchfully attended ere we be by him gloriously receiued I resolued therefore to prepare a Wedding garment to adorne me a Lampe full of oyle to lighten me and a trustie friend to direct me the garment of humilitie the oyle of charitie and my friendly conscience within me I haue wondred at some mens humors whose chiefest discourse was euer bent on their owne commendations