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A58142 Tunbridge-Wells, or, A days courtship a comedy : as it is acted at the Dukes-Theatre / written by a person of quality ... Rawlins, Thomas, 1620?-1670. 1678 (1678) Wing R368; ESTC R21395 36,383 58

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most Women they 're less deceitful than the tongue Alin. Well since it must be so By all Fair. Hold do nothing rashly swear seriously an demurely Alin. You are a pleasant Gentleman here comes my Brother you had best tell him I invited you Fair. Nay I 'le Swear it for I find you hant courage to deny it Alin. Rely upon 't Enter Vainman Vain T' is Fairlove If Owmuch should not have glutinized our Imbroglio he starts back Alin. Nay Brother you may advance for our discourse might suit the Piazza for it's concern and the Mall for it's impertinence Fair. Madam I suppose you speak for your own since y● ought to have mine in more reverence Alin. Good forward Sir it is not come to that yet Fair. Not to the Maturity you wish Lady Vain The ruptures cemented I may be bold dear Fairlove I am transcendantly perplexed by the participation of some sinister misapprehensions between us Fair. I never entertained the least of Sir Lofty Vain By the quiddity of my Knight-hood I was as innocent of any intentional injury or injurious intention But con licenza that figure must not laps quotation draws his Book Fair. Your Brother slips no opportunity of improving his observation Alin. I find little difference between ye for he silently observes his own follies and you loudly proclame yours to render 'em observeable to others Enter Owmuch Owm. How Sir Lofty and Fairlove I wish my Stratagem to keep 'em at distance been't discovered Alin. I 'm glad this Gentleman comes to my deliverance Fair. You talk as if you were with Child Alin. I 've been in travail ever since you came Fair. She means she has been at labour to detain me here Alin. I suppose you know his way of confidence Owm. I doubt not but you understand your selves and my business lies to Sir Lofty Vain Fairlove and I have contracted a reintigration of amity thou hast performed a Miracle Owm. Tom can witness how industruously I labour'd but pray a word Fair. I may connive a wile at his deceit till I 've imprinted on my sisters Soul the knowledg of her happiness in marrying so Rich a Fop But he shall then refund or joyn his interest to conclude the Match Vain Balsamich Fairlove I petition thy pardon for I have very ponderous engagements Fair. You are Master of your own occasions Alin. Sure Brother you wont leave me abandon'd to the discretion of a stranger Vain Were you my Mother I could not recommend you to a Person of more sincere sobriety or sober sincerity another admirable anti me tabole but time compresses my af●air Exit with Owm. Alin. My wise Brother as trusted us together Fair. He knew I ran the greater hazard in trusting my self Alin. I shall scarce eat you tho' it be towards dinner time Fair. Yet your fair eies devours my peace your Beauty preys upon my heart continually Alin. How do you Sir Are you well Alinda stamps Fair. Well Madam y'astonish me Alin. You spoke so like a Wight in Love I was afraid you 'd sound and knock'd for a Restorative Fair. You are resolv'd I find to murther me Alin. Die not yet I beseech you 'till the World has taken notice you were my Servant That may advantage me Fair. I had rather live miserable all my life than profit a Woman by my death Alin. Nay it shall cost you nothing die when you please I 'le mourn at my own charge and wear the ruthful Bandore like a Bill upon my forehead t' inform Mankind that here 's a Woman to be let Fair. By Lease or yearly Rent Alin. That 's as we can agree perhaps for term of Life Fair. Y' are a mad Soul nothing but age and wedlock can tame you Alin. When I am hungry especially therefore I 'le to dinner Exit Fair. And because I can digest a good meal better than your unkindness I 'le follow Exit SCENE II. Enter Witless Quibble Farendine Crack Wit Not except my Verses I 'le lampoon her to dishonour Crac. You mispend your fury my Lady 's not of the Tribe of Hellicon and were you heir apparent to Parnassus she 'd not accept it for a joynture Wit Each Acre of that precious Land is worth an Empire Crac. What 's Empire to her that would be content with a Parish Quib. Or the tyth of a Parish Well urg'd Crack Faren She 'l be as soon pleas'd with a tyth Pig Wit Or a Pigs tail Quib. The tip of such a tail 's worth all thy rhiming Reams Wit Avaunt ignorance I despise and desert you like two legg'd Brutes that have felloniously stollen the Shapes of rational Creatures Exit Crac. There 's one blown off in vapour These I must manage to more profit Aside Quib. Your Lady I doubt is no Saint Crac. Your reason good charitable Vicar Quib. Because she loves deeds of darkness and seldome comes to light Crac. She loves you indeed but too well Quib. Softly dear Rogue Farendine over hears Far. She wheedles him to give me opportunity to woo the Widow which these Orators will soon effect when Gold is no prevailing advocate Quib. Thy services have been remarkable and I 'le reward them methodically with a positive mark of my liberality a comparative mark of thy fidelity and a Superlative mark of my own gratitude gives her money Crack You 'l observe the time and place Quib. I 'le be as watchful as a famisht Cat that has her Prey in a pound Exit Quibble Crac. 'T was no slight cunning to stave off these Suitors to give your love and bounty free access Faren I thirst to see thy Lady and present her with my heart this offering a purse of gold Crac. She loves old gold most passionately but I delay your bliss I pray walk in Far. Be faithful and be happy Exeunt SCENE III. Fairlove Alinda Fair. To make protestations were t' increase your doubts but rest assured I 'le serve you with all the faith becomes a Gentleman your apprehensions are to me no strangers Alin. You then must think it worth a Sisters care t' impede the ruin of an only Brother Fair. In pity to him and kindness to my Sister before I had the honour to know you I meant to retreive him from that Harpies snares Alin. Persue the kind design I should be proud to have him joyn'd to a Person of her conduct Fair. Your partial Character seems t'nsinuate a former knowledge of my Sister Courtwit Alin. I 've seen her oft at either Theater But could not till last Spring boast her acquaintance when she was pleased t' oblige my morning walks i' th' Mall with her converse Fairlove 't was there she gave me that little but kind knowledge of your worth which best justifies my Modesty in craving thus abruptly your assistance Fair. The greatest justice you can do my love Is to believe that I was born to serve you Enter Fop. Fop. Ner'e stir Madam you know I 'm to lodge next door to
vainly hopes a conquest o're this heart Since 't has resisted Wit his keenest dart Exit The Wells continue still full of company Enter Wilding and Courtwit Court I wonder you 'd embark on the Vessel of Matrimony having so little kindness for the Voyage Wild. Beauty and Portion were such tempting Devils Court I shou'd suspect 'em for Angels since they have brought you so soon to Repentance Wild. Had not your beauty relieved me they had play'd the Divil's in earnest and led me e're this to dispair Court Your faithless inconstancies hath play'd that Devils part with so many of our Sex that I 'm arrived at that Harbor already and utterly dispairing of Mans reformation have form'd most desperate resolutions against Marriage Wild. Indeed it is pleasanter t' enjoy the same delights at liberty and change often else it is as dull for if a man must be confined to one dish a Wife 's the more Sanctified diet and sometimes the more wholesome Court How profainly you talk Wild. A Wife of the second year has less Harmony than the Bells in a Pestilence a perpetual jangling and should the Husband rise at every peal the thin Animal might rest to Eternity Court And you come to th' Wells for a recess Wild. Rather to put my self i' th' mode and chuse a Miss for their price is so inhanced in Town through the vanity of Witless Heirs that a very waiting Actress expects a Settlement Court Approves your Lady these excursions Wild. We be neither so ill bred to concern our selves with each others intrigues Court On these terms I cou'd fancy Marriage extreamly Wild. Fie Love and liberty have softer charms Birds never hatch well in a Cage And I 'm not so enamour'd on the words to have and to hold but I cou'd be kinder without 'em especially to so dear a Creature Court But how long wou'd this kindness continue not till Death us depart Wild. Can you be so cruel to expect it Love and Youth shou'd finish their course together for ther 's no condition in Nature so miserable as to be strong in desire and weak in performance Court What think you of the Married one Wild. As of a Pestilence none but so fair a Doctress can relieve Court I fancy Paywell has the same power and happyly more inclination Wild. She 's in years and Married and I 'm a very conscientious Sinner Court Therefore may oblige you with more safety Wild. Dull security rebates all pleasure give me danger and difficulty to inhance th' object I hate an easy purchase Court Now I know your mind I 'le grow extreamly scornfull to heighten your affections Wild. I would not have you put a constraint upon your self you have beauty and youth sufficient to heighten love without such artifice Cour. I cannot digest that compliment without a glass of Water Le ts to the Well They walk towards the Well and the Alderman and Mrs. Paywel Outside and Parret advance follow'd by an Old Woman with Water Ald. Give me t'other glass these Waters are so cold I profess they 'l hardly down Ou ts Stir Mr. Alderman motion warms and gives the Waters just operation Payw. By my truly if they don't satisfie my longing for a Boy I shall scarce applaud ' em Ou ts You see they 've brought th' old Gentleman t' an appetite Par. He eats well as you say but I can't discern the Madam one jot the better satisfied Ald Midwives will talk Mr Doctor and my Bunting's so passionate for a great Belly she 'l ne'r have done by her good will when any Man enters upon that argument Par. She 's not so long upon that point as you 'r too short Mr. Alderman Pay Many a Woman wou'd have supplied his defects elsewhere rather than suffer such an estate to go out of her line Ou ts Have patience till I have finish'd his course then by the help of a prolifie Bolus and a secret Arcana I 'le administer I dare ingage an happy product Parret spies Owmuch at distance Par. Yonder 's the Party I told you of Payw. Conduct him to the Place of Assignation Well Doctor the hopes you give me shall suspend my longing Good Honey fee him well Ald. I ha'nt known my Bunting in a better humour Come Doctor le ts walk and see how the squares go among the Nine-pins Exeunt Alderman and Doctor As Paywel is looking for Parret she meets Wilding and Courtwit advancing toward her Payw. Mr. Wilding You are very late this morning Wild. I have been here this hour Payw. What Creature have you got by th' fist her Garb savours much of the Mall by twylight Court And why o' th' Mall Dear Madam Payw. Because of your Court tincture Nature works you all in wax and like an Artist Painter cloaths variety of Features with the same complexion Wild. You are too severe this Lady lives in Fleetstreet Payw. I beg your Ladiships pardon and since y' inhabit within the verge of the City supplicate a further acquaintance Y' eye my Point I think 't is the greatest curiosity in Europe my Smock's laced with the same I assure you Wild. Now she 's enter'd her right qu. Payw. And were it not for giving scandal in so open a place I coud shew that might creat th' envy of all the Court Misses Wild. 'T would much oblige the Company Court And no wayes disoblige the Court Payw. They rail at me already for wearing such rich points upon my petty-coats and swear they don't become a Tradesmans Wife but did they see what 's under my petty-coats Wild. That were a sight indeed Payw. I 'le come one day with all my trappings and dazle their weak eyes and let 'em know a Banckers Wife can vie jewels with the proudest of ' em Enter Witless his Pockets crammed with Papers Alderman Farendine Quibble Outside Tipwell as from Nine-pins Quib. Sussex Sussex I 'le be judg'd by the Alderman Aid I scarce observ'd it What say you Doctor Faren He 's a Bettor What says Poet Witless Wit I vote against you either tip from the Brook or bowl again All. Content Quib. Not five Mr. Alderman Ald. Five for a Crown Ou ts For another Wit Not five six Faren Not six six to four Ou ts I take you Exeunt huddling Witless drops a paper Court The Poet has drop't a paper pri'the reach it Wild. What 's here A Lampoon and to that Satyrical Tune of Amarillis Court As you love me sing it Wild. I have none of the charming'st voices and may therefore obey you without further intreaty LAMPOON COurtwit she 's exceeding gay Courtwit she 's exceeding gay And kisses Wilding when she may Without her Brothers knowledge For plush Outside she does deride Tho a Member of the Colledge Court The rhiming Fop was much your friend proceed Alinda she is seldom kind Alinda she c. Altho' her wit seem much refin'd I doubt at last 't will fool her For she 's of Age I dare engage