our best esteemed friends Maister Spark and Maister Ruffell Fel: Our good wishes euer waite vpon our best belooued friendes Maister Ruffell and Maister Sparke Ambo Wee both are much indebted to your Ladiships Fle: Looke yee signior that 's she whose loue meanes to assault your braines since you haue blowne vp your owne sconce with Tobacco Pet. As I am truely generous shee 's modest Faire Mistris you are so wise that neither time nor age could euer cousen you of beautie and I sweare euen by the Alpes high heauen-touching tops the trauelers narrowe passage and by the towring head of high mount Chiego the Sea-mās southward marke by these the witnesses vnto my trauell I doe vow that you are passing fayre From: If I be not faire sir I must be foule Pet A Foule Lady what bird might that be Fro: A foule Ladie y' are a sawcy Iacke to call mee so that you are Pet. O be not angry for I protest I cannot but commend the whitenes of your skin From: Mary muffe I thinke a be a Tanner and meanes to buy me for my skin Pet Gods mee shee 's angrie what shall I doe now Signior Fle. To her agen man doe not leaue her the Moone is now vpon change she will turne Pet I pray you Ladie knowe mee by the title of some kindenes From. Kindenes faith sir you are mistaken in mee you must seeke your flurts some other where and I pra'y come not to make a foole of me alas man though I am a waiting-woman do not think I spend my time in nothing but tempering of colours working of drawn-worke warming of Smockes and pinning in of ruffes faith yes Fle: And you come to her Signior you must come to her as countrie Gentlewomen doe into the fashion that is in the taile and latter end on 't From, Faith I and ye come to begin your knauerie on me I le take you down I am none of your young simpering waiting-women that are asham'd to be counted proud therefore suffer euerie Seruingman to vse them at their pleasure Pet. Now on my conscience Mistresse my loue is honest and I desire marriage Fro. Indeed if you meane mariage I am content to beare the more with you but I pra'y sir when shal we be maried by my troth I aske you because I haue beene so often deceiued I warrant you I haue bin promised dealt vpon promises in the way of mariage aboue an hundred times Pet. At our next meeting we wil set down a day for the effecting of it Flo. Gentlemen we haue some small discourse which a little requires secrecie therefore if it please ye to walke in and make vse of our better roomes wee will not long be absent from you Sp. Ruf With all our heartes Exeunt Manent two Ladies the Lord and Knight Felicia and the two Wenches disguised hide themselues Flo. Worthy Lord doe not thinke immodestie in mee though contrarie to the bashfull habite of my sexe I am inforc'd by loues almightie power to reueale the secretes of my heart Your Letters haue so much preuailed with mee that in a worde I must confesse I loue you Fel. Worthie Knight I would my wordes had but the power so worke in you that which your lines haue done in me then should the happie consolation of my life dwell euer in your loues embracements Kni. Assure ye Ladie your gift of loue to mee shall bee deserued though nothing but my liues deare breath requite its Piso. And I will rather die a shamefull death then liue a hatefull life which I must do vnlesse I find a meanes that may deserue your loue Flo. No we your tongue goes like a well tuned Instrument and makes my heart within my bosome daunce with ioy to heare such large requitall of my loue but durst you to maintaine this your affection although it were with some daunger of your life Piso. Durst I I vowe euen by my soules eternitie I durst Flo Alas if you knew all t' is your owne good not mine and yet I lie t' is my good too since my life depends vpon your safetie Piso. What is 't deare Ladie although it be the death of man if it be pleasing vnto you I le doo 't Flo O let me embrace so deare a spirit in so deare a bosome and since you haue bound your selfe by promise I will be plaine there are two that hate you two because wee loue you and often haue perswaded vs by giftes and large protestations to haue vs loue them if they kil'd you Piso What vs Kni: Who wee Flo Nay t' is too true for while you liu'd they said there was no hope for them to looke for any loue from vs nowe wee poore sillie women fearing least they without consent of vs should doe that which their hatred doth intend wee thinke it fitte preuention first be vsed by giuing them to drinke of what themselues haue brude Piso First murther them Fel. True so shall ye then be sure T' inioy our loues we yours and liue secure Piso. But what are they Ladies Flo. Sparke Fel. And Ruffell Pis: They die for 't though they were my fathers sons Kni. They shall not liue Piso Let little children feare the shallow Brookes for I can swim though 't be through Seas of blood let foolish feare goe dwell with women for bloodie resolution shall not part from me I le kill them both euen with mine owne hands I le doo 't Flo. O no I le reueale it then vnlesse you first do swear and take a Sacrament what euer hap to keepe our names vntoucht Piso Vntoucht wee le doo 't Fel. Then for the meanes Kni: Wee le stabb them Piso Wee le fight with them Flo No so you may misse them and they kill you Fel: Giue them a Figg Flo Make them drinke their last Fel. Poyson them Piso But for the meanes Flo You two shall make a banquet and in a cuppe of Wine a health shall passe Piso In which I le mingle mingle such a dram as they shall ride to heauen in post vnlesse they misse the way Kni. But where shall we get the poyson because you knowe t' is daungerous and will breede suspect where ere wee buy it Piso. I haue a Countrey-man in towne an Apothecarie one Signeur Aluino a fellow that is well stor'd and will sell me of the best Nan If a were of my minde a would thinke no poyson too good for you Flo Come then I would haue you goe about the preparation of the feast Exeunt Fle, Now boyes you haue a couple of goodly maisters Nan I Fleir and thou hast a couple of vertuous Mistresses O they are a couple of damn'd peeces that will plot or counsell the death of two such worthie Gentlemen Su. For one of them the earth did neuer beare a worthier creature Nan Which is that Su, Which is that Why sister haue you so oft confest that his all perfection'd spirit poyntes him out for vertue
youe neuer run bare before them Nan Neuer we sir Fle. Whither are you going Sus. Sir we want a service end are going to get a Master Fle. Come come I le preferre you both thou shalt serue a Countrey-man of mine hee s going to trauaile shalt goe with him thou shalt serue one of my Ladies Su. We would willingly serue two nere friendes because we are brothers and indeed two twins and therefore are loath to be parted Fl: Two twins that 's all one come come you shall serue 'am Nan You shall pardon vs sir Enter Flor Sparke Felec Ruffell Piso Knight and Fromaga Flor. I hope you le not condemne me for my loue Sp: I haue no reason Lady Flo I offered you vnaskt Sp: That with a number oft hath bought Flo Partlie they haue and partlie not for I would haue you know my function seldom sels affection what though I haue euill liu'd repentant teares can wash away my sin which I le poore foorth like droppes of winter raine and now hencefoorth euer I le this life abhor and to the earth my knees I le dayly bow to get mercy from heauen loue from you Nan O the deuill take impudencie she courts him Sp. Madam the loue that I may giue you fully doe inioy but I haue sworne with other loue then as a Brother doth a sister neuer to loue any Fel. O sir my fortunes are not fellowes with my birth they make me stoope to base deiected courses but would you loue me I would as swift as thought flie this life and leaue lusts fowlest sinne for fleshlye beastes to sleepe and wallow in Su: Shame to thy sex no more Ruff: Lady in all the honest offices that friendship may commaund commaund me still but yet I haue not seene the face to which I owe so much of loue as may iustly arrest my affections and when I doe I le pay so due a debt without imprisonment Pis: Methinkes yond Lady growes fayrer much then she was wont me thinks her feature mendes her comely gesture much hath drawne my heart to loue her O but shee 's a whore Nan Gentlemen doe you lack a Boy Sp. No Nan O God I am vndone Su: Sir do' y want a Seruant Ruff: No Su: O Lord what shall I doe Pis: What canst doe Na: Any thing that a Boy should doe Kni. Woot dwell with me Su: T is partly as you le vse me Kni: I le vse thee well Su: Well Pis: Tell me are you both content to dwel with vs two Both As please you two Pis. Then thou shalt liue with me Kni. And thou with me Sp: Come Gentlemen will you bee going Both We attend you sir Sp. Ladies our occasions cals vs hence and I am sorrye we must leaue you Exeunt manent Piso and Nan Flo. Gentlemen you all both haue and euer shall bee welcome Pis: Lady I will leaue you much affection more then I thought to lend you but I deale on vse and haue much interest Flei: Caught I hope hold hooke and line hee 's fast by heauen Flo. My Lord what you lend me with much interest shall be repaide Pis. Adew Flo. Fare you well refusd Fel. Contemn'd Flo Disdain'd Fel: Abus'd Flo Adyes Fel, A shall not liue Flor. Disdaine the Daughter of such a Signior Fel, Condemne a Ladie borne sister we are wrong'd Flo But if you le consent I haue a proiect laid that in requitall both of them shall die Fel. You make my soule sweet harmony come le ts about it then Exeunt Finis Act Secundi Actus Tertius scena prima Enter the Ladies each with a Letter and Fleire aside Flo. Are we in priuate Fel, We are Flo Pray Sister what moouing lines of loue has your Knight toucht your affection with Fel. Faith his stile is plaine onely a little courtlike silken phrase it has but I hope your lord hath sent rich words like iewels for your eares against your nuptiall day Flo. Faith a woes with lines that might perswade another thought not mee which I le lend your eyes vpon the like receiued curtesie from you Fel. With all my heart Change Letters Flo. What haue we heere Reade Lady I know the noblenes of your disposition defends you from the least Sparke of basenesse wherefore I inuocate euerie particular vertue of yours to be mediators to your best iudgement for my better estimation in your loue my affection is zealous my intent honorable my desire mariage thus desiring your resolued answere I rest Euer at your disposure lacke Haue-little Knight Vpon my life some friend did pen it for the foole Fel. Let me see what 's this Reade You the vnderstanding spirit of a woman let the splender of your Beautie with some heate of your affection shine vpon the creature that adores yee and with the heauenlye comfort of your loue melt and thaw dispaire from in dying heart which if it liue it liues to loue it dye if it dyes in loue but howsoeuer t is your's t was made for you liues by you and dies without you Yours in the moste affectionate degree of affection Don Piso De Florence Sister vpon my life this is sonne and heire to Duke Piso that now is Flo O would hee were but whosoere he bee a must bee made a match to giue fire to the hell blacke pouder of our reuenge yet your loue the wise Knight and he are two in one there are no such friendes as they Fle. Then let them march both hand in hand in one way Flo Then shall be thus these two being earnest suters for our loues wee le graunt vpon condition that suddenly they murther Sparke and Ruffell but first to take the Sacrament if euer it be knowne as knowne 't will be to keep our names vnspotted in the action this being done Fel. Let them challenge vs wee and our loues are won but say they should reueale vs Flo. O none will breake a Sacrament to heape vp periury on other sinnes when death hel stands gaping for their soules Fel. But say they raile on vs Flo. If they doe t is knowne we lou'd Sparke and Ruffel and men will thinke they kild a'm for our loues since they liu'd in our fauour these in disgrace Fel, I like it well come le ts hasten it For this is euen as true as er'e was text Plots are but dreames vntill they take effects Exeunt Fle. O God I think the path to hell that women tread is broder then the way men goe how they walke by couples to the Deuill Enter Piso. Pis. O that I should loue a whore a very common Cocatrise my thoughts are drown'd in a gulf of sinne shee 's a very Canniball which doth deuoure mans flesh and a Horse-leach that sucks out mens best blouds perfection a very prisoners box that 's ope for euery mans beneuolēce and I am Heire vnto a Duke yet loue her doth any man heere loue a whore I who I I I t is I an
am away strayght to pay for the feeding of their Horses there was a Chamber-maide damb'd for keeping her virginitie till shee was marryed and there were many Soldiers damb'd for saying their prayers when they were drunke Fl: But what didst thou see in hell Ruff, O I sawe a Scriuener damb'd for procuring a Gentleman money Gratis but I came in an excellent time Fle, What time wa' st Ruff, In a gossipping time for Proserpina was newllie brought a bed of two twins Fl: Two twins what were they Ruff, A Sergeant and a Yeoman but shee has put them out to nurse Fle, I prithee where Ruff: Faith at the Counter in Wood-street and the slaues will sucke alreadie like little Horsleaches Fl: But when will she haue am home that shee may be rid of am Ruff: Faith shee 's an vnnaturall Mother shee cares not greatlie if they neuer come home but the deuill their Father hee loues am well hee le haue am home againe ere long Fle: Which is the elder Brother Ruff, O the Sergeant the Deuill allowes him the better maintenance for hee has more to the dressing of his meate Fle. Well Gentlemen since by the heauens pleasure I haue bin appointed to saue your liues let mee intreate you to keepe your selues secret till the sequell of this action shall neede your presence Ruff, Come le ts goe wee le onely follow your directions Exeunt Enter two Iudges with their traine and sit downe Iaylor VVil 't please yee haue the prisoners brought foorth Caius VVee can doe nothing till wee heare from Doctor Ferrio to knowe his pleasure in these proceedings 2. Iudges Was any man sent to him Caius Yes Fleire the Lady Floridaes man which is not yet returned Enter a Iaylor Iaylor Reuerend Iudges heere 's a Doctor at doore desires admittance Caius Intreate him to come in Enter Fleire like a Doctor Fle, Learned Doctors Doctor Ferrio commends him to you and because sicknesse hath laide so strong a hand vpon his weake decrepit bodye which dooth detayne his presence hee intreates you to accept of mee in his place and as assurance of his earnest desire thereof he has sent this well knowne ring as a token to you Caius Sir wee knowe the ring and you are verie welcome and so I pra'y assume his place Iaylor Is it your pleasure the Prisoners be brought footh Caius I both of them Enter Piso Knight two Ladies two wenches Nan and Sue Petoune Fromaga Caius My Lord you are heere indited of a hatefull crime I am verie sorry to see you in this sort stand here Pis. Thrice Reuerend Iudges and therefore honored Lords I must confesse that like a skilfull dancer I haue truely footed folly yet like a learner in my course of life trod much out of measure I haue liu'd like an vnbackt colt proud and wanton my tree of life hath borne more leaues then fruite I neuer was deboash'd steard away my daies even in a sea of sinne Caius And in that sea my Lord you bore so great a saile as you haue ouer set your barke of life and heere you are accused my Lord euen of a hatefull crime so is the Knight there for poisoning two Gentlemen Sparke and Ruffell how doe you answere this my Lord Pis. Alas my Lord this is soone answered for though that I haue surfeited on sinne yet haue I not bin drunke with blood Caius What say you Knight Kni: The crime is great I must confesse my Lord but I am sure the proofe can be but little Cai: Ladies you know moste and therefore t is fittest most you speake Fl. Why then my Lord this is all we can say this Lord and knight feasted diuers of vs their friendes but foure of vs he drench'd with such a dramme which soone made two discharge the debt they owd to nature Pis. O conscience wouldst thou giue me leaue Fal: And wee no doubt my Lordes had long ere this breath'd out our liues like them but that we had the lesser quantisie for being esteemed the weaker vessels they thought the lesser blow would breake vs Kni: O had not death arrested me Fle: VVhy then my Lord wee thus must now proceede they that spilt innocent blood themselues must bleed but Ladies I haue heard you had a man cald Fleire what 's become of him Flo He was sent to Doctor Ferrio and we neuer saw him since Fl, Doe you know his hand Ladies Fel. Very well Fle. I pray looke heere then Flo This is his hand indeede Fel. I very perfectly doe know it to be his Fle Why then vppon this hand I heare arrest you both vpon your liues Both Who wee Fle, I you Ladies my Lord I pray you reade this letter Cai: Reuerend Iudges God wil by some meanes punish euerie sinne and though against my will yet by my conscience I am enforced to vnmaske my Ladies vilianies the murther for which the Lord and Knight are like to die was first plotted by them the two Pages with my selfe did heare it the Prisoners in this action are inforc't by Sacrament to be secret and thus intreating heauen in Iustice still to ayde you Yours Fleere a Florentine Caius Is this true my Lord 2 Iudg They are sworne not to reueale it Fle. But being reueald they may affirme it Both T is too true my Lord Fle, Where are the Pages Both Heere my Lord Fle. How say you boyes to this letter Both The letter speakes nothing but the truth Fle: Wel Ladies then we heere pronounce this sentence that you must die among the rest Flo You powers deuine I know doe plainely see Heauens starrie eyes sees all our villanie And God in Iustice murther will reueale But were I now my life for to beginne I de be an honest wife to you wherefore forgiue me deerest Lord Pis, Lady I doe euen as I hope to be forgiuen Fel. Show mercy heauen my sinnes doe thee offend There 's none can say hee 's happie till his end Forgiuenesse Knight and since the law on vs Hath laid so strickt a hand O let me be Thy wife before I die and were I now A thousand yeares to liue I would be honest Louing none but thee Kni. I doe forgiue you Lady with my soule Enter a Messenger with Letters to Piso. Mes. Long liue my honored Lord and mighty Duke of Florence Pis, So a will as long as 't please the Hang-man Mes, My honored Lord your Father is deceased and the state of Florence by me hath sent their Letters and allegiance Pis. Let them call backe the banisht Signior Antifront whome they we and al haue wrong'd O could I liue but to inquire him out in satisfaction of his wronges I de marry his eldest Daughter and whilst a liu'd a should be restored to his estate but O hee 's Fleire showes himselfe to be Antifront Fle. Heere my Lord I taxe you to your word Signior Antifront yet liues And heere 's his elder Daughter whome himselfe But now condemn'd to die and heere 's the younger Left for you the poisoned men are heere a liue againe Who did but dreame of death but yet doe Liue t' enrich a nuptiall bed to you two And now since euerie thing so well doth sort Let all be pleas'd in this our comicke sport Where 's Petoune he shal haue his Mistris too He most deserues for he did hotly woe If we part friendes your hands vnto vs lend What was not well wee le next striue to amend Exeunt Omnes FINIS