that Sword Into his hand Come are you ready Sir Ping. Why you dear fight then it seemes Though thou art so ungodly a Chit as To say no prayers before thou begin'st I will I assure thee Good I pray and desire yee if I Do miscarry in this Duell that I may Meet with no woman in the tother VVorld Now thou worst of Females Have at thee Mir. Come I 'le let out all your Fat and Love at One Thrust Fight and she disarmes him Now ask thy Life and confess thou art an Asse Ping. I am an Asse and ask my life Mir. Then I thy conquering Caesar take my leave With this conclusion veny vidi vici And so farewell Oh Fate Oh Love O Fat. Exit Ping. After all my Miseries wou'd I were Up again else the next man that comes Will make a Rouler of me for to Roul Bowling greenes makes severall Attempts to rise and at last gets up So now have I a Mile home at least And every toilesome step I take I will Curse women Exit Enter Zoranzo and Amphelia lyeing upon Straw together Zo. Most blest of women I must tell you truth And yet I fear that truth will Amph. Will what I doubt he loves me aside Speak it Sir nothing from you can Be unwelcome Zo. O yes it will Amph. I 'le warrant you out with it Sir Zo. Then know I t will come no further Amph. Unhappy man 't is so he Loves me aside O Sir I have sadder truth to tell to you Then yours can be to me I dare not Speak it Zo. My fears are true she Loves me aside Pray tell me what it is Amph. Tell yours first Sir Zo. Alas you saw I tried but cou'd not Get it past my Lipps Amph. If I shou'd try mine wou'd not come so far Zo. Wou'd I knew yours I cou'd tell it For you Amph. So cou'd I yours yet I cant my own Zo. Alas she loves me aside Amph. Poor Zoranzo I see he loves me aside But Sir consider we are going to dye Let us dye undeceiv'd in one another Zo. Oh that some that knows each of Our hearts wou'd harken to our griefes And bid an Angel come and speake For both Enter Iaylor Iay. Come have you done your discourse Yee must go to Excecution Zo. A little patience Jaylor see we are Cal'd unto our deaths pray tell me What you mean Amph. I cannot first do you begin Zo. Nor I. Amph. Let us tell both together then that one May not blame the tother Zo. Agreed are you ready now to speak Amph. Yes oh no I am not well now I am Are you Zo. Yes I am begin oh stay I cannot yet Iay. Come Come I can give you no Longer time Amph. Nay then we must tell Zo. Poor Amphelia t is Amarissa that I Love Amph. O Zoranzo I love the Duke Zo. Then I am joyed I was afraid t was Me you Lov'd Amph. And so was I that you Lov'd me Now we shall dye both happy Never was two such friends as you and I. Iay. Come Come Amph. Good Jaylor we go most willingly now Exâ—â—nt Enter as on a Scaffold Duke Amarissa Ortellus Zoranzo Amphelia and Iaylor Excecutioner Amar. Jaylor why did'st thou let them stay so long Iay. They had so much to say to one another That still they begg'd one Minute and Then another Amar. D' yee hear Sir pray let the Jaylor Be turn'd out of his place for leting Them speak to one another Amph. See Zoranzo where they sit in tryumph O're our deaths aside Amar. S'life Sir they are whispering d' yee See yonder Excecutioner why don't You strike off their heads and let Them whisper then Sir you are Melancholly Duke I am indeed Zo. Now Amphelia to Heaven and you I truely Vow my Love is still the Same to cruel Amarissa Amph. Heaven and you witnesses the same For me my heart is still that Undeserving Dukes Excecu Come which of you will dye first Zo. Hast thou not skill enough to strike Our heads off together Amar. Excecutioner let them not have that Satisfaction pray Sir let that Woman dye first that damn'd Zoranzo May have two deaths it will be one To him to see her dye shall it be so Sir Duke What you please Amar. Excecutioner the Duke sayes she Must dye first Excecu Come Lady you must lay down your Head first the Duke sayes Amph. That word 's the sharpest Ax that I Shall feel Exce Have you said all both kneels as at Prayers Amph. To Earth I have but not to Heaven Farewell dear friend for one short Minute Zo. My soul shall hasten after yours Ama. S'life Jaylor will you let them speake To one another again Amph. Excecutioner now I am ready Duke Hold the Prisoner shall dye first Zo. With all my heart I am ready Duke Nay it is not you I mean Sir rise 'T is I that am the Prisoner I will Make you a present take your Life Your Love nay and my Dukedom too And to oblidge you most of all Excecutioner strike off my head for I Am weary of it Amph. Not for ten thousand worlds Sir What e're you mean Duke Know then I have lov'd you all this While but seeing your hate so Great to me I have dissembled Scorne to you she Swoones Why dost thou Swoon Amphelia Amph. Did not I hear some voice just now That said the Duke dos love me still Duke Thou did'st 't was he himself that Said so Amph. If 't were from Heaven good Heaven Say it again Duke T was I my self I tell thee and I will never Speake another word if that dos please thee Amp. Oh I am in Heaven then it seemes and 't is Some god that 's telling me how the Duke Lov'd me still Duke Dear Amphelia 't is I that Loves thee Tells thee so Amp. Hark now there 's a god that saies he loves Me too blest god I 'me sorry if you do Since I have heard the Duke dos Love me still He must be your rivall indeed I cannot Help it Oh let me fly down to the Earth Again only to hear him say he loves me I cannot promise when I shall return That very word from him wou'd keep me there Duke I must answer her no more they say 'T will keep 'um longer in a Trance he Rubs her Ortell I am but in a scurvy condition now if She comes to life again for they will Examine one another how the mistake Came between them and then I am Sure it must come to light Amph. Who 's that Duke Archemedes Duke The same sweet Angel Amph. Oh Sir I am come from Heaven to see you Since there I heard you love me still Duke Dear Amphelia thou hast dream'd all This while Heaven 't is true is where Thou art but 't was my voice that Said I Love thee Amph. Was not my head struck off just now Duke Canst thou ask that while I have A head and heart Amph. Why have you lov'd me still Duke
All Mistaken OR THE Mad Couple A COMEDY ACTED by His Majestyes SERVANTS at the Theatre Royal Written by the Honorable James Howard Esq LONDON Printed by H. Brugis for Iames Magnes in Russel-street near the Piazza in Covent-garden 1672. The Actors Names The Duke Ortellus next of Kin to the Duke of an Ambitious and Trecherous Nature Arbâ—tus suppos'd Brother to Artabella Philidor a Mad Kinsman of the Dukes in Love with Mirida Zoranzo The Dukes Prisoner of War in love with Amarissa Pinguister Two Rediculous Lovers of Mirida Lean-man Two Rediculous Lovers of Mirida Doctor to Pinguister Taylor to Lean-man Iaylor Servant to Philador Boy Clown Guard and Attendances Women Amphelia in love with the Duke Artabella the Dukes Sister but taken for the Sister of Arbatus Mirida Philador's mad Mistress Amarissa in love with Zoranzo 6. Ladies 3. Nurses with Children Scene ITALY All Mistaken OR THE Mad Couple ACT I. SCENE I. Enter Duke from War in Tryumph leading in his hand Artabella a Woman of that Countrey from whence he came with Arbatus her Brother and Zoranzo Prisoner and on the other side Amphelia and Ortellus and Guard Duke MAdam I need not say you 're welcome to this Countrey since 't is mine Artab Sir leaving my own for yours speaks my beleif of that and all things else you say Duke The same unto your worthy Brother Besides my thanks to you Sir for letting Your Sister take this Journey Arbat Your Highness hath so Nobly Exprest Your self unto my Sister that I Consented to her Coming with you so Highly I esteem'd your Princely word That I have let her Trespass on the Bound of Common Modesty in this Adventure for when this hasty Judging World shall see you have brought a woman From her'owne Country and not your Wife how soon will every Tongue give her Another title Duke Sir my suddain Actions shall prevent all Tongues or thoughts either to name or Thinke her any thing but my Dutchesse Therefore all that owe Duty or Respect To me pay it to her What Amphelia did you beleive the world So Barren of good Faces that yours Only dos enrich it or did you think 't was All mens fates only to Doat on yours Look on this Lady and you 'l see your Errour marke well her face and you Will find in every line Beauty sits Empress there These are the Eyes Amphelia now that dart obedience Through my heart are not you vext To see I am noe Constant foole and Love you still Amphe Vext at what to see a man I hate Love another a very great vexation Know Sir this Breast has only Roome for Joy and Love to brave Ortellus Forgive my heart that 't was not Yours before since you have long Deserv'd it Ortell Madam no time was long enough To wait this Blessed hour Amphe Alas great Duke instead of pineing For your Change you find me Mid'st a Thousand Joys in this New Choice Duke So you doe me Amphelia amid'st Ten Thousand Not all the Glories that attend a Conquering Souldier can create one Joy so great In me as being Conquer'd here in My owne Tryumphs I am but a slave Nor dos my victory over Thousands please Me so much as being overcome by One by this fair one whose Eyes By shining on my Tryumphs only Make it Glorious Amphe Well Sir we will not change our happy States you cannot brag of happyness So great to make me Envy I am Only sorry for this Lady that had nothing Else to doe with her heart 〈…〉 It you Madam if your Breast haâ— Been Crowded with some Twenty or Thirty hearts and amongst these one very Ill you might have made present of That to this mighty Duke Duke Madam does not this Ladies discourse Make you affraid of me Artab Not in the least Sir Duke Where 's this bold Prisoner Guard Here and please your Highness Duke Well Sir though you did attempt to Kill me In our Camp after you were our Prisoner You shall not dye since you are of the Same Country this Lady is Therefore Thank her and Fortune for your Life Zo. I 'de sooner Curse them both shall I thank Any for my life but heaven that gave It me I 'de rather give it to a Cat a Noble Death were far more welcome To me then a mean Life at second Hand my being here I owe unto the Gods when they think fit to lend it Me no longer they know the way To take it from me I scorn to run In debt unto a Mortal Duke for two Or three dayes Breath Amphe Brave Captive a side Duke You 're very high considering you Are in Chaines Zo. Why Sir think you these Fetters can Confine my mind as they doe my Leggs Or that my Tongue 's your Prisoner And dares only say may it please your Highness How much are you mistaken Know Sir my Soul is Prompter to my Tongue And gives it Courage to say any thing That Heaven will not frown at we shou'd Detract from those great pow'rs above if We pay feares to any here below perhaps You think I 'le beg my life now upon A pair of bent Petitioning knees No Sir Had I a hundred lives I 'de give them all To sharpest Deaths rather then Beg for one Duke You 'r well resolv'd perhaps your mind May alter when you see the Ax. In the mean time Commit him to the Closest Prison where if you have any Accounts with heaven you 'l have time To Cast them up before your Death Zo. Your Sentence brings me Joy welcome The Keenest Ax that can be set 't will Cut my Head and Chaines both off together Welcome most happy stroak since it Will bring rest to my Eyes and make A Slave a King Exit with Guard Duke Madam I suppose this Journy has so Wearyed you that 't is time to shew you The way to your Lodgings and leave you To your Repose Guard Make way there for the Duke Amph. My Lord you had best Attend the Duke Because 't is a Respect due to him Ortell I shall Madam at your Commands Exeunt Amphe How has my tongue bely'd my too true Heart in speaking hate unto the Duke and love to Ortellus I hate the Duke so Eyes do sleep that long have known No rest how cou'd my Lips give passage To such words and not have clos'd for ever Not by my hearts direction I am sure for That so swel'd being injur'd by my Mouth as had not Pride and reason Kept It here from this unquiet seate it wou'd Have forc't away to Archimedes Breast And there have whisper'd to his heart my Tongues untruth Why shou'd I love this Man that shews me nothing but Contempt And hate Rouze drooping heart and think Of that think of it alwaies so by degrees 'T will bring a Winter round thee that in Time shall Chill the heate of thy undone And lost affections oh 't is not true that all our Sex Love Change then I might find one Path that leades
Lord to give the Lye to Petty-coates Ortell Why did you deny your being in the Prison Amph. Not for fear of you I was with the brave Prisoner what then Ortell You went to make love to him you had Best use your Time well 't will be short And sweet your dear will not be so Proper a man by the head within this Two dayes False woman you have a Heart that flyes from one mans breast To another all the inconstancy of your Sex is Constancy to this of yours you Have deceiv'd the Duke already that Might have been my warning Amph. Faith and so it might the Duke in all Things so farr Excells you that you were A fool to think when once my heart Bid him farwell that it design'd no Better a Change then you troth you 'r Mistaken it had a further Journy to Make and so took your Breast for an Inn only to Lye by the way Ortell Base woman is 't not enough that You have fool'd me but you must mock Me too heaven hold my hand from Murthering thee Amph. Fright those that fear you Exit Ortell Cursed of all fool'd men like me light Heavy on thee Reveng begins to fill My heart and I will poure it out on This base woman I know the way I 'le to the Duke Enter Duke I am glad I have met your Highness for I have business to impart to you that Concerns Your Life Duke What is 't Ortellus Ortell Know Sir Amphelia that Duke Loves you Ortell No Sir she Loves the Prisoner Duke 'T is impossible Ortell 'T is very true Sir I caught her coming from him She is designeing his Escape and for ought I know her Love to him may put other Thoughts into her head Duke What d' yee mean Ortell She may designe your Life a woman that Is ill Exceeds a man in Mischiefe Duke My Lord I thank your Care if you can Track her further pray let me know in The mean time I shall prevent her Ill intentions Ortell My dilligence shall not be wanting so Since I can have no Love Revenge Shall be my Mistris Exit Duke Oh Amphelia why dost thou take such Paines to break my heart when 't is to Easily done She needs not secretly contrive My death since half a word from her Commands my life her face and heart Sure cannot be a kin Nature Mistooke Or else she was too blame to give one Woman to so great Extreames Enter Arbatus See here comes the Brother to wrong'd Artabella The horror of that sin growes bigger in me That I with a deludeing Love shou'd foole An Innocent to shew an outward scorn To false Amphelia for when I heard she Lov'd Ortellus I straight made Love to This young woman and brought her from Her own Countrey only to make Amphelia Think I lov'd another Arbat I hope I don't disturb your Highness Duke No Arbatus you are alwaies welcome to me Arba. Sir I should ask you a question Duke You freely may Arba. Not but I think my Sister far unworthy Either in Birth or Fortune to be call'd Your Wife Yet since you have been Pleas'd to grace her with your Love so Far as saying she shall be your Dutchess be pleas'd to tell me why It is not so she has been here so Long that people now begin to say you Mean her for your Mistress shou'd my Eares meet that sound from any Tongue I 'de Duke Hold Arbatus I 'me sure I have given no Cause as yet to doubt my kindness to Your Sister Arba. Pardon me Sir in your delay you have My Sister has no Dowry but her Vertue Youth and some small stock of Beauty These if you lov'd her for you wou'd Not waste by letting time rob her and You at once Duke Sir business of great importance has Hitherto defer'd my Marriage beleive Me you shall find me just Arba. A Princes word must not be question'd I have done Duke Oh Amphelia what dos thou make me do Exit Arba. Let him take heed if he dos fool my Sister were He ten thousand Dukes I 'de cut his throat Exit Enter Philidor alone Philli. I have been quite at tother end ot'h Town to put my children out to new Nurses for I am known so to every Nurse Here about that they will as soon nurse A Cats kitten as any child of mine this Is a very pleasant life I lead neither Is this the worst part of it for there are A certain flock of women that I have Promis'd Marriage I expect a volly of Shot from them too soon as they find Me out wou'd Wives and Children were as hard to come by as Money then wou'd I turn Usurer and let 'um out to use for To say truth I have enough to spare Enter Six Ladies one after another So here comes one of my promis'd Virgins Nay a second too a third a fourth A fifth a sixth Welcome blessed Half dozen now will I go Muster my Nurses and children to and go against the Great Turk I am glad to see they have Brought ne'r a Coffin for I expect nothing But death from them I wonder they do'nt Begin to Ring my Funeral peal See every one of them Beckons to me as much As to say I 'de speak with you in private But the Devil take me if e're a one Of them do I find by this they wou'd Not have their business known to One another this may be a means for me To get off for this time Ladies you all Look as if you had something to say to me Pray make me so happy as to let me know What 't is They dare not speak aloud aside Will you Madam or you or you Madam Or you Madam not one of you tell me What the honour of these Visits mean I see I am troublesome to you all therefore I le not be longer Rude and so I take My leave This was good luck that They shou'd come altogether for I had Beckon him Rather be alone six hours with the Devil Then with e're a one of them half an Houre I 'le stand close in this corner Till they are all gone 1 Lady Now the Pox take him for a cunning Rogue 2 Lady A Plague take him 3 Lady The Devil take him 4 Lady If there be e're a Divel worse then another Take him thou 5 Lady Oh that I had him alone 6. Lady Was there ever such a Rascal Exeunt at several doors Phil. So the cost is clear again peeps out Enter Mirida S'death here comes another O 't is none Of that gange though Mirida I 'le lay my head ne're a Girle in Christendome of my age can say what I can I 'me now but five years i' th Teens and I have fool'd five several men Phili. A brave wench by this light sure 't is I In Petty coates Mirida My humour is to love no man but to Have as many Love me as they please Come Cut or Long tail Phili. A most Divine wench Mirida
on me I have Love and Fat enough to furnish a whole Nation Exeunt ACT III. Enter Amphelia going to the Prison Amph. HOw false a woman to all Eyes I seeme Because I still will hide my Constant Love This way I take will bravely break my heart To tell the Duke were sneekingly to dye Since if he knew that I did Love him still With basest scornes he 'd laugh my heart To Death such friendship to this Prisoner I will shew shall make the Duke beleive My heart is there to set him free I 'le use my utmost Art Wou'd I cou'd do asmuch for this poor heart This way my Love with my designs complyes Thus one in Chaines another's Chaines unties I have made the Iaylor mine already By promising him these hundred Peeces 'T is now about the time I appointed To be here Enter Iaylor Oh yonder 's the Iaylor expecting me Here Iaylor here 's for thy honesty May the business be done new Iay. O Madam never at a fitter time take You the Key and go into the Prisoner Whil'st I go see the passage cleare Stand you at the door and when I beckon To you come away Amph. Honest Iaylor Iaylor So now I am just i th' fashion I have Taken money to do her business and Instead of doing it I have undone it Enter Duke and Ortellus Ortell T is so Sir the Jaylor has discover'd All to me here he comes Iay. And please your Highness to stand Close here for the Lady Amphelia is Now with the Prisoner I have given Her a Key to convey him through this Private passage assoon as I becken To her she will come away with him beckons them Amph. Come Sir give me your hand the Iaylor Beckens me the way is clear Duke Hold Lady and your Love we must shorten Your journey a little Amph. Ha the Duke and Ortellus I am betray'd Oh villain Iaylor Ortell Sir I fear we have interrupted them It may be they were going to be Married ha ha ha Amph. If I were 't was what I refus'd you Ortellus that makes you so Mad. Duke Well Madam if you have a mind to be Married a Priest shall not joyn your hands But you shall go both back to the Prison and the Iaylor shall tye you both Hands and Leggs together Amph. Know Sir a Prison with this brave Gentleman will be greater Paradice to Me then to be Mistris of your Pallace What do I say aside Duke Well you shall have your desire then Yee shall Live together and Dye together How cou'd I speake that word to her aside Zo. She dye Sir wou'd you destroy so great A World of Vertue Rather invent two Deaths for me that I may dye for her too You 'l rob your Dukedome of your greatest Treasure to take away so blest a life As her's let not an Ax part such a Head and Body least Heaven frown and Call you Murtherer you 'l pull upon your Head all Mankinds Curse when Nature See's her bounty thus rewarded she 'l Turn a Miser and will give no more Such Blessings to the World as this Fair Saint Duke Well Sir I am satisfied yee like one Another so you shall both return back To your straw Beds there you may lye As close together as you please Amphe No Sir virtue shall lye betwixt us Duke You 'l want a Pillow till you come both To Execution then you shall have one A Block to lay your Heads on Amph. Know Duke my head will rest better With his on a Block then with your's On the softest Pillow How many lyes must I confess before I dye aside Duke Indeed you 'l sleep pretty soundly See her scornes to me makes death a pleasure To her aside My Lord give order that she may be Brought immediately to her Tryal in the Mean time Iaylor take them you into Your Custody lay'um in Shackles both Cozen many thankes to you for this Timely discovery I must leave you a while Exit Ortell Duke you shall have less to thank me for Else I 'me deceiv'd I have found out he Loves Amphelia still so she dos him Now will I go possess Arbatus of this And tell him how the Duke intends to fool His Sister he has the Character of so Strict a Brother and so brave a spirit That his Soul will never disgest this injury Without the Dukes Blood I 'le joyn With him and tell him how the business May be done by this one of these Three things I shall have Either a Mistris Dukedome or a Grave Enter Arbatus and Artabella See here comes Arbatus and his Sister Artabella they talke very earnestly Arba. Sister I do not like it the Duke will Fool yee Arta. Indeed Brother I 'me amaz'd at this delay Arba. How dos he carry himself to you Arta. With all respect imaginable Arba. Then there must be somthing more in 't That he deferrs his Marriage thus Ortell There is so Sir Arba. My Lord harkenings but a base office But if you have heard it 't is no Treason Ortell No Sir but it is Falsness in the Duke To use your worthy Sister thus I Came To tell you upon my knowledge he never Intended to Marry her Arba. My Lord though I beleive it you must Pardon me if I wonder at this information From your Lordship that is his Near Cozen. Ortell Sir you have the Character of so brave A Gentleman Conscience and Honour Bids me discover this to you and your Sister Think of a way of being reveng'd and Here 's my Hand and Heart to help you Arba. Pardon me that I cannot thank you Truly because I needs must doubt This offer from your Lordship Ortell What can I say to confirm you will The Word and Honour of a Gentleman do 't Arba. To me those are things of great value Ortell Then here I give them both Arba. But what to do my Lord. Ortell What you will Arba Perhaps you think I 'de have you aske Some place about the Court for me In Recompence of this Injury to my Sister Ortell No Sir had you been such a person I shou'd not have trusted you thus far With what I have said I say agen I am your friend if you doubt it you Wrong my Honour Arba. Why then my Lord to be short nothing Will satisfy me but the Dukes Ortell What Arba. Blood Ortell Why thou shalt have it all if I can help Thee too 't this night will I convey you Privatly into his Bed-chamber come along With me and I will tell you all Exit Arba. My Lord I follow you Sister go you to your Chamber Arta. O Brother Heaven preserve you in this Danger Arba. Now it comes into my head I need not Doubt this Lords Truth he is next Heir To the Dukedome if the Duke Dye without Issue T is base in him the Dukes Life to pursue His blood is only to my Sister due Exit Arta. False Duke thou justly hast deserv'd Thy Death to Cheat the
way not to mistake Duke Then be assur'd 't is I Arta. Brother 't is nor t is I. Arba. Hey Day hey day I know not what To do or say Throwes down his Sword and goes away Ortell So he 's Dead I hope Arba. No more then you are Ortell How so Arba. Come my Lord as you go I 'le tell you Exit Duke Oh Artabella why did'st take my Arba. Orte Sin upon thy selfe hiding thy Innocence With a face of Guilt my Death had been Not Punnishment enough because I have Wrong'd so fair a Life as yours which Way to ask forgiveness I cant tell There are no Pardons for such Sins As mine the only way to do thee Right is this Arta. Hold Sir my Life shall follow yours If you strike Duke Why wou'dst thou have my Live Arta. Because I love you Sir Duke And that 's the only reason I wou'd dye Arta. Why wou'd it be kindly done To shew my Eyes your Blood Duke Yes far more kind then Live And shew thy heart no Love Oh Artabella that thou wert my Sister nothing But Brothers love were then thy due And I cou'd richly pay thee in that Coyn A Million more then ever Brother did Arta. Wou'd Nature then had made me so Or else had gave me never a heart Duke What wou'dst have me do poor Artabella Arta. Nothing but Love me Sir Duke See what thou dost ask a Man a god Wou'd do and yet I cant 't is not thy Want of Beauty but my Fate Angels Themselves to look upon thy Face wou'd Take a journy twice a day from Heaven Arta. If you wou'd come though far a shorter way You shou'd be much more welcome Duke Sweet Tongue lye still offer no more such Love as Gods themselves to have wou'd Think a Bliss since all thy kindness Dos but wound my Heart to see thine Ship-wrackt in a Sea of Love and cannot Give it Harbour in my Breast Arta. Sir let me beg one thing of you then Duke Withal my Soul be it my Dukedome And 't is thine Arta. 'T is no such great request 't is only When you meet me say I hate Thee Artabella Duke Why cou'd that word please thee Arta. No but to hear it said by you wou'd Bring my Death then I wou'd thank You for my Rest wou'd you not come Unto my Grave Sir Duke O yes and make thy Coffin float with a Sea of Teares Arta. Fair Sir of what Duke Of Griefe Arta. O me a Sea of Teares and yet not One of Love waste not such pretious Drops upon my Grave it will not Satisfy my hovering Soul to see your Eyes drop Pity without Love farewell Sir Oh for a Grave that were a resting place Good heart be kind and breake apace Exit Duke Heaven Love thee for me base Amphelia Thou art the Author of my horrid Sin Exit Enter Philidor and Mirada Phi. Thou talk'st of sport Mirida if all the Sport we have had already with our Lovers come not short of this hang me You say you have invited them already To my Funerall Mir. Yes yes Phili. So So Methinks my Body lies in Great State to see the Tribe that will Come by and by here will be half a Dozen cheife Mourners which shou'd have Been my Wives and some Three or Four Sonns and Heirs besides Three Or four hopefull Daughters these with The Congregation of Nurses will howle Me a pleasant Dirge Mirida you being My Excecutrix must carry your self Very gravely here 's my Will which You must read to'um I 'le be the Priest my selfe hark some body Knocks within Knocks at Gate Enter Boy Boy Sir they are all come Phi. Let 'um in Now Mirida Manage Your business well Mir. Let me alone I 'le warrant yee Enter Ladies and Nurses All La. Ah my poor dear dear All Nu. Ah my poor dear Master ah Child Cry for thy poor Dad. Kiss the Herse Phi. What a Dog-Kennell's here how they Howle aside Mir. When the passions of your Griefes are over Pray hear me speak because it concernes you all Phi. Pox of thy Gravity Mirida aside Mir. Nay hold your Tongue if you set me Once a Laughing I shall spoyl your Funerall aside Enter Pinguister and Lean-man So here comes my Fat Lover and my Leane one Welcome Gentlemen I Was afraid I shou'd not have had your Company Ping. Really sweet Lady I have taken a Purge to day as I do Constantly for Love of you which has detorted me By reason of its opparation neither can I say it has yet finished Mir. Sir please you to sit down and you Mr. Pinguister Ping. Lady I imbrace your offer and shall Press your Chair by my heart Madam This Chair was fitter for a Jackdaw Then me sits down and breaks the Chair Nay they make such Chairs now a daies That had I a Grudge to an Upholsterer I wou'd desire no greater revenge Then to fit down upon every Chair In his Shop Mir. Truly Sir I am sorry for your fall Ladies and Gentlewomen pray give your Attention to my dear deceased Cozens Will Poor young man he was Kill'd Yesterday by a Duel he liv'd but two Houres after he was hurt which time He made use of to settle somthing On all you here his worthy Friends Omnes A good young Man Miri Imprimis I bequeath my Soul as other People us'd to do and so my Body Item I give to Mrs. Mary for a reason that She knows 500. l. Item 500. l. To Mrs. Margaret for a Reason She knows Item 500. l. To Mrs. Sarah for a reason She knows Item 500. l. To Mrs. Martha for a Reason she knows Item 500. l. To Mrs. Alice for a reason She knows Item 500. l. To Mrs. Eliner for a reason She knows And so to all the rest Item To my Nurses I leave each of Them 20. l. A year a peece for their Lives besides their arreares due to Them for Nursing These Summes Of Money and Legacies I leave to be Rais'd and Paid out of my Mannor Of Constantinople in which the Great Turke is now Tennant for Life If they shou'd hear how their Laughs aside Legacies art to be Paid how they 'd fall A Druming on his Coffin Item I leave to Mr. Pinguister a very Fat Man Ping. I am so Mir. An Infallible receipt to make him leane Ping. So I hope the Dead may do what The Liveing cannot Mir. I leave to a Certain Leane Gentleman Whom I have seen in my Cozen Miridas Company a sure receipt to Make him Fat Le. ma. I find he knew I was to Marry his Cozen Mir. I desire my Body may be carried to the Grave by the six aforesaid Gentlewomen So Ladies now you have heard his Will Be pleas'd to take up the Body Nurses You are to follow next new which of you Will lead me 〈◊〉 I will Madam Le. ma. By my Bones but you shanot Ping. By my Fat but I will Sir Mir. Nay Gentlemen pray fall not out well One of
you lead me one half of the way Exeunt Ping. Agreed Sir take you her hand first a Very timely Proposition for my Purge Workes again save me where abouts Is the Closset goes out and comes in again What a loose must I run to overtake them Now else I shall not lead my Mistriss the Last half way deliver me from Love And Purges Enter all again with a Coffin Philidor and Mirida shut them into the Vault Phili. So there let u'm converse with the dead A while I had rather have 'um there then Above ground here will I keep 'um till They have all quitted me under their hands And Seals Mir. Oh the sport that we shall have by and by Well but I must go home a little my Father will miss me where shall we Meet again Phi. Just here Mir. I 'le not fail Exeunt Enter Amarissa just arriv'd Amar. I am come to late and yet too soon am here Since dear Zoranzo's death is now so near On the same block with him I 'le lay my head That our two bodies may have but one bed Thus are our Nuptial joyes decreed by fate Our Wedding and our Burial bare one date Sure I am the first of maids that ever gave Her body to her Lover in a Grave Alas in cold embraces we must meet With Icy kisses in a winding sheet Yet though this life denies us time to love The other life will not so cruel prove Our souls so fast in Lovers knots wee 'l tye That when the headsman strikes they both shall fly Twind in one another through the air And be at rest whilst other Souls despair Enter Iaylor This is the Prison and here 's the Jaylor I beleive Pray Sir do you belong Unto the Prison Iaylor Belong Yes I am the Keeper of it Amar. Is not here one Zoranzo a Prisoner Iaylor Yes but he wont be here long for he Is to dye anon Amar. Ah me Sir I am his Sister pray help Me to him that I may speak with him Before that cruel hour I love him So that I must needs dye with him I 'le Petition the Duke that I may sure he 'le Not deny me that request Iay. I can tell you a way that you may be sure To have that favour granted Amar. Tell it me and I 'le thank ye Iay. Why if you 'l try to convey him out of Prison As another Lady has already you may Bare them company too Amar. Why has there any Lady endeavor'd it Iay. Yes one that is his Mistriss and they are Both to dye together Amar. Ha! What is 't I hear his Mistriss Say you Iay. Yes Mistriss they both lye as Contentedly By one another as if they were not two Amar. Curse him good heaven ye cannot throw Too many curses on him here Jaylor Take this and let me speak with the Prisoner Iay. Madam you shall Enter Zoranzo and Amphelia as in Prison in Chains Zo. Amarissa are my eyes false or is it Truly she Ama. Your Eyes are true but 't is your heart That 's false Zo. I am deceiv'd that cannot be her tongue Ama. Shou'd it speak otherwise to thee I de Tear it out Devil Zoranzo curst Pair of Vipers that in chains of death Can practise Lust as if no end were nigh Do not my wrongs startle thy guilty Soul to think of all the torments it must Have that cou'd with so much falseness Murther Love when thou art gone to Hell as go thou must 't will be a task For all the Devils there to torture thee enough Thy sin is such were I thy headsman When thou com'st to dye I 'de be a week A cutting off thy head twixt every stroke I 'de stop and then I 'd hollow Amarissa In thy Eares thy Guilt wou'd be an Eccho To my wrongs and answer to my cry Wrong'd Amarissa which injur'd name Repeated to thy Eares wou'd make Thy Soul think Hell not half such pain Farwel Zoranzo I 'le come see your Head struck off and your Ladies Zo. Base Amarissa that can conclude me False because she saw this Lady lye In Chaines by me and cou'd not ask me how We came together Thus to revile me and Not know the truth I 'le scorn to tell Her now Enter Duke Amar. O Sir be pleas'd to hear a Maids Petition Though a Stranger to you Duke Fair Maid what is 't Amar. Zoranzo that 's Condemn'd to Dye may Duke Not Live if that be your request pray Do not ask I shan't grant it Amar. No Sir 't is that he may have a Thousand Deaths instead of One or one that has More pain then Thousands Duke What makes you thus incenc'd against him Amar. Heaven knows I have too much cause Sir I have Lov'd him long and the day he was Your Prisoner shou'd have been our Wedding news being brought to me In my own Country that he was to Dye In flying hast I took this tedious journey With Sorrow and with Joy I here arriv'd Tears in my eyes for his approaching Death Smiles in my Cheeks to think Of dyeing with him but when I came Unto the Prison gate I met the Jaylor and He told me all then let me in and to rejoyce My Eyes I saw two Devils lye in Chains together and not half so fast As Chain'd in Love all my intended Kisses then I chang'd into as many curses On his heart which with my eyes I Spoke as well as tongue Duke Alas poor injur'd Maid we must be one another's Petiters thy fate is mine That woman which you saw with him Has prov'd as false to me as he to you Amar. For Heavens sake Sir let 'um Dye both No sight wou'd please us like their Blood the Jaylor told me they lye as Close together all day as if they were not two Duke Oh curse on'um Amar. Oh the Devil take 'um pray Sir give Order that they may be brought Immediately to Excecution Duke I will Ama. I 'le go call the Jaylor Sir steps to th' Prison Enter Iaylor Duke Jaylor let the Prisoner be brought to Excecution straight I 'le be there my self Amar. And I too Sir Duke You shall wee 'l go together Exeunt ACT V. Enter all Ladies Nurses Pinguister Lean-man as in the Vault Philidor as a Cryer Phili. O Yes O yes o yes did any man hear Tale or Tidings of Three Nurses call'd Three Flanders Mares with Three Sucking Colts All Nu. Hark we are Cry'd in the Streets Phi. And also six Maiden Ladies that shou'd Have been all Married to a certain Promising Gentleman All La. Devil we are Cry'd too Phi. Also a very Lean Gentleman that must Be Patter before he 's Married Le. ma. Hark that 's I. Phi. And the hugest Loss of all is one Mr. Pinguister a lovely Fat Gentleman Whom all that knew him doubt him To be Dead upon some Privy house Because he Purg'd every day for Love By reason Mrs. Mirida will not Marry him Till a certain Measure that he has