for lying honest but for stealing fell suddenly very sick and when his friends began to despair of his recovery and that he thought himself he should die his Conscience began to prick him and to bring into his imagination all his former sins then did he think he saw before him all the Fiends of Hell displaying sundry colours of those Silks he had at several times stoln this so terrified him that after he grew well he bought him a Bible went to Church and shewed great reformation nay the very meat that was to be eat on Sunday he would have drest on Saturday also least the custom and frequent use he had of stealing should at any time make him forget his zeal he gave his Journeyman a special charge to put the apparition in his mind when ever he saw him stealing any thing Not long afâ—er when a Doctor of Physick sent him some Velvet to make him a Goat and he well knowing how much would serve snips off half a yard but his man espying it said O Master Master remember the Vision Yes yes said he I do remember the Vision but there was not one piece of such Silk in any part of it 246. A Gentleman that took great delight in Hunting came hastily one day into his Friends Chamber as he was employed about some other business asking him if he would go find a Hare Pish said the other let me alone let them go find Hares that have lost them 247. One sending a Pair of Gloves to his Lady for a New-years Gift writ on the Paper these two witty Verses If that from Glove you take the Letter G Then Glove is Love and that I send to thee 248. A witty Fellow in a company when the whole discourse was of the Female Sex said That Women were born in Wiltshire brought up in Cumberland led their lives in Bedfordshire brought their husbands to Buckinghamshire and died in Shrewsbury 249. When Mr. Kitchin a great Brasier in London died Cuds life says one will Death have his Kitchin unâ— ground 250. A Welchman lying in an Alehouâ—â— hâ—d run up a great deal for Cheese his Hostess therefore demanding a Shilling How the Devil cuds splutter anâ— nails can that be said he Why look here said she pointing to the score behind the door Ah thae's brave indeed said he what doth her think her does not know Chalk from Cheese 251. Another as he travelled on the Road and came to his Inn he found nothing else ready but Plaice so he would have two and the Host dressed them and sent them up then having eat all on the black side he found himself not satisfied and call'd for two more The man seeing his simplicity took away the Dish turn'd the Plaice and served them up with a little new Butter Cuds life says our Taffy hath he black Plaice and white Plaice too 252. A Baron and a Knight walking together on a Green a Crow lighted on a Rail by them making a great noise I believe says the Baron Sir Knight this Bird saluteth you Nay rather said the Knight t is to some Lord he makes such low obeysance 253. One meeting Bonner that had been once Bishop of London said Good morrow Bishop quondam whereupon he replied presently Adieu Knave semper 254. Hugh Peters preaching of Faith and Hope after a long and tedious discourse forgot Charity for he call'd out to a woman that was talking with her Neighbour to leave babling Beshrew thy heart said she who babbles most thou or I 255. The same man having newly hopt from the Stall to the Pulpit instead of the Priest offered up a pair of Doves for a peace offering read he offered up a pair of Gloves and a piece of fringe 256. 'T is said also of another of those fine Preachers in his days that he thought himself very learned and a good Divine when he said thus in his Sermon Paradise is become a pair of dice and all houses turn Alehouses but 't was not so in the dayes of Noah ah no. Another time he took this for his Text My Bed is green onely to shew this fancy Typical my Topical Bed and Tropical green So beloved you see how it stands Typical my Topical Bed Tropical green Typical Topical Tropical my Bed is green 257. When Tom Holland quartering in Fleet-street had raised his Landlady's Maids Belly whose name was Nell Cotton 't was wittily said by an ingenious person That he gave her a yard of Holland she gave him an ell of Cotton and what harm was there in all that 258. Some boon Companions being merry at a Tavern every one began to commend one sort of Wine or other one especially stood up for Sack that 't was a good Cordial and would make one fat Nay rather says another 't will make one lean How so Vpon a Staffe 259. A Gentleman meeting his friend who had a very pretty Lacquey ask'd him where he was Alas Sir said he death hath sent him on an errand And what is become of your Nag Sir you came up on Why he is foundred Why then replied the other he hath served you right to make you go on foot since you made him lame 260 One bid his Shoe-maker make one of his Boots bigger than the other and when he brought them home A pox on you for a Rogue said he I bid you make one bigger and you have made one less 261. The same Bull-speeker talking of London said That truly the City was a gallant place but the Air was very foggy and agreed not with him and he did really think that had he lived there till this time that he had died seven years ago 262. A discreet Gentleman being asked why he would not go when his friend desired him to have a man that could counterfeit the Nightingale exactly Because said he I have heard her when she sung her self 263. A Welshman travelling with a Charge of Money behind him in his Cloakbag was met by a Thief who bid him to deliver his Money immediately or else he would make that Pistol drawing one out of its Case to bounce thorow him What said the Welshman must that Pistol pounch through her Her had better give her money that is her Masters and spare her life that is her own So the Thief without any resistance took his Cloak-bag But pray Sir said the Welshman since her hath her money let her hear one pounce for it for her never heard the pounce of a Cun. The Thief ro satisfie him discharged his Pistol which ecchoed in many places Cuds splutter and nails said the Welshman 't was a gallant pounce and there was many little pounces too Pray let her have one more pounce for 't is a gallant thing So the Thief let off his other Pistol at which the Welshman seemed more pleased than before and asked if he had no more pounces No said the Thief I have not one more Then replied the Welshman that had long enough pleaded
knowing that his age was great and his hairs grey and thinking they were the cause why he did not succeed he coloured his Beard black and put on a Peruque and like a young man came again and petitioned the King concerning the same business his Majesty perceiving the deceit said to him I would be very glad to gratifie you in your desire but 't is not long since I deny'd it to your Father and 't were unjust to grant the Son what I deny'd him 50. In the flourishing time of Greece when young Alexander made the World shake and the War began to be waged against the Persian Monarchy the timerous Spies told one of Alexander's Captains That the Enemies beside all their other Military Preparations brought so many Archers against him as would darken the sky and exclude the light of the Sun at which news nothing daunted T is good news for us said he that are in a hot countrey for we shall fight in the shade 51. In Naples a City of Italy there happen'd in a great Siege it endured that the Governour made a severe Order That every man should be put to death that being above such an age did not wear a Sword but not long after as he was riding through the Street to see how well his Order was put in execution he espied a Gentleman without a Sword and commanded him to be brought before him then was the Order read and he condemned to die the death appointed which was to be hanged on the next Sign Post The Gentleman after he had pleaded several things in his own behalf but could avail nothing nevertheless desired this favour that he might not die so ignominiously but that the next Gentleman that passed might run him through with his Sword the request being reasonable was granted and the execution prorogued till the next came Now it happen'd that a young Gallant was coming from a Gameing House that way that having lost all so much as the blade of his Sword which was good Merchandise at that time did not dare in regard of the severe Order to go home until a woodden one was fitted to the handle This Gentleman was stopt and the dying mans case laid open but this ingenious person knowing his own insufficiency What said he must I be a common Executioner Must I stain my hands in blood without passion and be a reproach to all men Nevertheless this argument availed nothing and kill him he must then putting off his Cloak he began a Prayer to this effect Thou who seest all the transactions here below judge I pray thee and vindicate the cause of those that suffer wrong in especial manner grant that if this man here ought not to die this Sword may be turned into wood Then drawing it forth it appeared to be wood wherefore the dying Gentleman was released immediately with abundance of joy and the Woodden Sword was carried with great solemnity and hung up in the Cathedral Church as a true link to the Chain of Popish Miracles 52. In these late times every discourse being of preparations of War and proceedings against the Dutch amongst many other questions one was so curious as to ask one in the company why the Dutch were called Butter-boxes T is replied the other merrily because they are spread over the whole world 53. A Seaman being extreamly dry in the middle of the Fight was drinking to another out of a Bottle of Brandy when at the instant a Bullet coming through a Port-hole kill'd him as he was drinking wherefore falling down dead and the Bottle breaking A pox light on you said the other for a Rogue to spill all the Brandy 54. There were at Newberry some She Annabaptists that took upon them to have Revelations and therein to see such glorious things as could not be related nor imagined by others drawing by such means many poor simple people to be of their Religion in hopes of seeing the like glorious Visions One amongst the rest told the holy Brotherhood that she had a Revelation to be taken up into Heaven on such a night the rest resolving to take their solemn leave of her at the time appointed all went out with her into the Fields to see her glorious Ascension the night happen'd to be a Moon-shiny night and as they expected when some Angel should come to fetch her in a Fiery Chariot a Cloud covers the face of the Moon whereupon they began to cry Behold he comes in the clouds but immediately their hopes vanished with the Cloud 55. Another Quaker being Apprentice to a Tradesman in the City of London became at last after he had received the Documents of his Mistriss so Phanatical that he would give new names to all things in the Shop for being a Habberdasher of Small Ware if any one came for a Shuttle-cock he call'd it a Flying Cock if for a Ruler he call'd it a Measure of Righteousness if for Needles those he called the Camels impossibility if for Ribbons those he named the Devils Colours insomuch that he rendred himself incapable of Trading One day above the rest when his Master had invited many Guests to dinner he went into the Room and taking a Stool carried it to the upper end of the Table and sate down thereon covered His Master much astonished at his new impudence especially before so much company asked him the reason Why said he I am the Servant of the Living God and have more right to the creatures than you 56. A Valiant Captain that had lost his Leg formerly in the Wars was nevertheless for his great prudence and courage made Captain of a Ship and being in the midst of an Engagement a Cannon Bullet took off his woodden supporter so that he fell down the Seamen forasmuch as few knew he had a woodden leg call'd out for the Surgeon The Surgeon a pox on you all said he a Carpenter a Carpenter 57. A severe School-Master having one morning whipt one of his Boys saw him as soon as he came to his place write something in his Table-book wherefore commanding him to bring the Book and looking therein he saw that the Lad had writ down every time he had been whipt at School wherefore commending him for so doing as if the writing them down should put the faults fresh in his memory and make him eschew them he gave him half a Crown to buy him a Common-place Book The Youth bought a Common-place Book and the next day brought it to School his Master seeing it called him out for his Lesson and notwithstanding the Boy did very well whipt him Pray Sir said he let me know my fault for I perceive nothing in my self worthy of this punishment O said he if I do not take this course you will never fill your Common-place Book 58. A Citizen of London going along the Streets very hastily came at last where a great stop was made by Carts and other Gentlemen talking together who knew him one of
manner gave them their due hire and when he returned into the Countrey again began amongst the rest of his news and all the fine things he had seen at London to tell That he had been carried in a Sedan wherefore every one was desirous to know how it was Why it is said he like 〈◊〉 Watch house onely 't is covered with leather and were it not for the name of a Sedan one had as good go on foot 140. One meeting his Friend in the Street where was a great stop of Coaches that none could pass asked him where he was going To the Market replied the other to buy some meat Well then go by said he 〈◊〉 you can farewell 141. A Countreyman coming to Londoâ— into a Booksellers Shop to buy a Bible the man shewed him one that had a Patch in the Cover the Countreyman displeased at that would see more whereat the Master came out asking his man what his Chapman would have Sir said his boy he wants a Bible and he doth not like this Then his Master looking on it Why Sirrah said he to his Apprentice have I but one double covered Bible in all the Shop and you must shew every one this O pray said the Countreyman let me have it by all means if it be double covered for I would fain have a lasting one And so paid down the price most willingly 142. Thomas Frog and Mr. John Rain meeting accidentally at a broad kennel in the Street and knowing one another Frog was still hindring Rain and would fain be leaping over but Rain striving to get over Frog began to scold at him for dirting his Stockings I think these Frogs are alwayes croaking in wet weather says Rain So you must expect said Frog again till the Rain be over 143. An University Scholar being hot in discourse at the Table in the Hall and so loud that the Fellows heard him the Dean sent to him to be quiet after this manner by the Servitor Vir sapit qui pauca loquitur To which he returned this answer Vir loquitur qui pauca sapit 144. A Gentleman being choaked with a Honey-comb his friends began to bemoan him Why make you such lamentation said another never man died a sweeter death 145. One seeing a Ladies Legs as she lifted up her Coats a little too high he said to her Madam you have a very handsome pair of Twins You are mistaken Sir said she for I have had one between them 146. A Minister marrying a couple of his friends told them afterwards in merriment that if after they disliked they should come to him again and he would un-marry them So this Countrey Couple go home and are very merry for the first week or two but at last dissention arising between them they both came again to the Priest to be divorced Hereupon he fetcheth out a great Hatchet and asks who had the greatest desire to leave the other first For says he I have married you till death you do depart and therefore it is expedient that I kill one of you 147. A Barber being a Tobaconist and selling both Hair and Tobacco accidentally in the same ounce to his Customer for as much as some loose Hair scattered by chance into the Tobacco the next time his Customer met him and complained of his selling such bad Tobacco that was full of Hair Truly replied he I get much by selling such pennyworths an ounce of Hair that costs me ten shillings for three pence 148. A tall Minister told a short one scoffingly That he looked in a Pulpit like a Collar of Brawn in a Dish And you replied he look like a Pestle in a Mortar 149. At a great Feast where many Guests were present there was served up amongst other good Dishes a great Turky Pie iâ— whose sides the Cats had eat a great hole this gave the Master occasion to be angry with his Servants for their negligence but one of his Guests said Pray blame not your Servants Sir 't is enough it hath escaped the Turky-Pie-Cats so well 150. 'T was at the same Feast probably that a Rice Fool was brought up to the Table when many of the Guests doubted what it was One wittily said Per risum multum possis cognoscere stultum 151. Some Gentlemen quarrelling at Table one to reprehend the other of his great use of Tobacco and the foulness of his Mouth called him a foul Tobacco-Pipe The other readily told him he was a dented Quart-pot The strangeness of this Metaphor stuck in his mind and made him very urgent to know the reason Because said he you seem to have more in you than you have 152. A Gentleman of the Temple being newly come up to London told his Friend he had brought up a Horse with him and would sell it What have you him at your Chamber said the other 153. A meer Scholar sent one day for Tim the Sâ—â—th to hang up two Pictures and asking him when he had done what he must have Sir saith Tim there are two Ten-penny Nails and what you please for my labour Well there Sirrah are two Shillings said the Gentleman that is a Groat for thy pains and twenty pence for thy Nails Go thy ways 154. A Humorist calling for a reckoning found there was ten pence to pay wherefore breaking the Glass he had in his hand against the wall Dam you there 's a shilling Sirrah for you said he to the Tapster 155. A man being abused by many scandalous reproaches of his neighbour as calling him Rogue his Wife Whore and the like sued him at Law but finding after much trouble those words would bear no Action he was so incensed that as he stood in the middle of the Court he cry'd aloud My Lord you are a Rogue your Wife â—s a Whore and your Children are all Bastards 156. Two Boys going together to School met with one whose name was Pontius Vrben a Rag of the Law that was not well in his wits Lets us call yonder fellow Pontius Pilate says one of them and then ran away Whereupon the man became so furious that the other was forced also to double his pace and save himfelf in the School house Presently in came the man and would have beaten him but that the Master took him off and promised to whip him soundly So at every lâ—sh he asked him if ever he would say agâ—in Pontius Pilate To which he answered crying No Sir The next dâ—y at Prayers when the Boy came to these words in the Creed Who suffered undâ—r Pontius Pilate he remembred his fault and said Who suffered under Pontius Urben 157. Other young Scholars went up into a Steeâ—le to get a Sparrow-Hawk's Nest that was in a hole of the Wall and because it was just over a Window but just out of their reach they agreed that the strongest of the two should hold out a Board for the other to stand upon and take the Nest this done he that took the Nest call'd
Musick to Heaven Then said the Gascoign I dream'd that I saw you carri'd up to Heaven and thinking you would never come down again I rose and eat the Partridge for I knew you would have no need of meat in Heaven 321. Two Gascoigns came to Paris to live their by the sleight of their hand knavery stealth and such like endowments as their poor Countrey had furnish'd them with but being both apprehended one who had been branded before was hang'd on a Gibbet the other was whipt at the foot of it The latter having escap'd so well returned back to his own Countrey and after he was welcom'd home by his friends many enquir'd what was become of his Friend and Companion Oh says he he hath made true the saying That no body is a Prophet in his own Countrey How so said they Because repli'd he he is marri'd And when they asked To whom He answered To one of a high quality and that he danced at his Wedding 322. A Welchman being condemn'd to be hang'd when he was brought to the place of execution and was ready to be turn'd off the Hangman ask'd him if he had ought to say Yes said he I would willingly speak to some of my Countrey if any be here Then the Hangman callâ—d out to know if any such were there he should hold up his hand It hapned one was there to whom the Hangman said That poor man would speak with him So when he drew near he asked if he knew such persons in Wales The other repli'd He did Then said he you know my father and mother who I know will be much griev'd at my misfortune but pray to comfort them tell them I die a good Christian and am certainly informed that I shall go to heaven and I hope they will follow me thither the same way 323. A Gentleman coming into London out of the Countrey as he came by New Chappel his Horse threw him which a young Gentlewoman seeing fell a laughing The Gentleman being angry that she jeâ—red him said Pray wonder not at this Madam my Horse always stumbles when he sees a Whore To which she answerâ—d merrily Have a care then Sir for if you ride into the City you will break your neck 324. Three drunkards having been late a drinking and knowing what a peal their Wives would ring them when they came home lai'd a wager among themselves of ten pounds a man that they would all obey what their Wives first commanded them and would do it So coming to the first man's house his Wife had prepared a good staff for him and as soon as he came home sell upon him he stepping back trode upon an earthen dish and broke it Ay you Rogue said his Wife do go break all So he up with his staff and broke the windows and all the pots till at last she beat him out of doors Then they went to the Second's house his Wife was of the same temper and fell upon him that striving for haste to get away he let a Fart Ay go shit you drunken Rogue said his Wife go So he down with his breeches and Shit in the room Then they went to the thirdâ—s house where the Good-man being pretty well in drink he stumbled over the threshold Ay you drunken Rogue said his Wife go break your neck do A pox on you for a Whore said he you have made me lose my wager 325. A certain Papist that never carri'd Beads about him was ask'd the reason by his friend who accused him of his being Irreligious Oh said he I have a Wiâ—e who is so lean that in stead of Beads I can count the bones in her back and say my proyers so often Yes but said the other when you have gone as low as you can do you then kiss 326. A Curate in the Countrey had made the poor people believe he was a Conjurer and a great Diviner a Lord therefore sent one day for him and question'd if he could Divine so he plainly confess'd he could not but that the vulgar people had reported it onely of him Nay repli'd the Lord that will not serve either you must tell me four things that I shall ask you or resolve to be dispossessed of all your Preferment as a Cheat a Deluder and Impostor Thus when there was no hope of escape he desired him to propose his questions and to give him two days to consider on them The Lord gave him that time and said First you must tell me where the middle of the world is Secondly what I am worth Then what I think Lastly what I believe The Curate went away much perplexed what to answer but in his way a subtil Joyner of his acquaintance met him and by much perswasions got out of him the cause of his melancholly Well said he troubâ—e not your self lend me your robes and I will clear you of this matter So the day being come the Joyner invests himseâ—f with the Curates Gown and goes away betimes in the morning to the Lord that was not yet stirring nevertheless the Lord wiling to hear his answers got up Well said he what do you think of the questions where is the middle of the world Why reply'd he if you please to go out with me into the fields I shall shew you for it is hard by Is it possible says the Lord. So out they both went and the Joyner having drawn a Circle to colour the matter and some strange figures at last stuck down his stick and said Just there is the middle But how shall I know reply'd the Lord. Why if you please to measure it said he and it wants but one hands-breadth I will forfeit my life Well said the Lord what am I worth all my debts paid Why answer'd he our Saviour was sold but for thirty pence and if I say you are worth but nine and twenty I think I do you no great wrong Then the Lord ask'd him what he thought You think reply'd he more I am sure on your profit then on mine Lastly he ask'd what he believ'd Why you believe said the Joyner that I am the Curate but I am onely a poor Joyner Which caused the Lord to dismiss him with a reward of his ingenuity laughing heartily at his witty answers 327. Three Soldiers talking together were overheard by a Courtier to say thus one said Had he a thousand pounds he should be happier then the King The other said Were he a Captain under the King he should be happier then he The last That had he one nights lodging with the Queen he should be the happiest man in the world The Courtier related this to his â—ing and the King for divertisement sent for these three the next day before him and bid them upon pain of death confess and tell what they said the night before at such a time The first fearing the King's anger said That he had indeed rashly said That if he had a thousand pounds he should be as
him But the Peasant told him he did not know what he meant Why you fool quoth the Curate did you ever think that Chickens could be hatch'd out of hard Eggs Why so you told me Sir quoth he last Lent for when I confessed to you that I had eaten Eggs you chid me saying Eggs made Chickens Chickens grew to be Cocks and Cocks were made Capons now if boyled Eggs which I eat would ever have been Cocks and Capons how did I know but the boyl'd Eggs under your Hen would come to be so too 339. A certain old man a poor Labourer of the Countrey seeing the Archbishop of Cologn to ride through the fields armed and accompanied with armed Forces fell out in a loud laughing Whereupon being demanded why he laughed he answerd Because he wondred that St. Peter Christ's Vicar in the Church being exceeding poor had left his Successor so rich and wealthy and that his Train should be more furnished with Men at Arms than with Churchmen The Archbishop desired that the fellow should have better knowledge of him in his Place and Dignity and told him that he was not onely an Archbishop but a Duke also and that as a Duke he rode so accompanied with a Train of Men at Arms but when he was in his Church then he was attended on as an Archbishop Sir said the Labourer I pray tell me when my Lord Duke shall be with the Devil what will become of the Archbishop 337. The Emperour Sigismond and one of his Pages passing over a certain River at a Foard on Horsback when they were in the midst of the River the Emperoâ—s Horse stood still and began to stale which the Page seeing he said to the Emperour Most Sacred Prince your Horse is ill taught and resembleth you very much The Emperour answered not but rode on to his Lodging where being come and in pulling off his Boots he demanded of his Page why he had likened his Horse to him Because quoth the Page the River had no need of any water yet your Horse in pissing there did adde water to water and so do you for you give wealth and riches to them which have plenty but to such as have none you given tâ— any And it is long time since I have been with you yet I never tasted of your liberality The Emperor the next morning took two little Iron Coffers yet one was somewhat bigger which he filled with Lead the other with Duckets and bid his Page take one of them which he would for his long service The Page chusing the biggest Now open it said the Emperour and see what is within it which he did and found it to be Lead Then said the Emperour Now thou knowest thy fortune the fault was none of mine that thy choice was no better and that thou wert not made rich for thou hast refused thy good fortune when it was offered thee 338. A witty Gentlewoman after her Husbands decease was perswaded to live stil a Widdow in imitation and by the example of the Turtle which after the death of the male keeps continual chastity To which she made answer If I must follow the conditions of the Birds why do not you as well tell me of the Dove and the Sparrow 339. Lewis the Gross King of France taking part with Holy Earl of Maine against Henry King of England in a Battel fought between them found himself far severed from his people A certain English Knight seeing him and being in hope to make himself rich by taking him Prisoner laid hands upon the Reins of the Kings Horse with intent to stay him and began to cry aloud The King is taken The King being valiant and of a noble courage at one blow with his Sword overthrew the dead Knight to the ground and seeing him fall said It is not one Knight alone that can give the King the Mate 340. A certain bold Souldier was very importunate with a Gentleman to give him something for the losses and damages he had received in the Wars and shewed the wounds he had received in his visage The Gentleman seeing him so rash and audacious resolved to fit him for his boasting and ostentation saying Take heed thou turn not thy face another time when thou art flying from the enemy 341. A certain Courtier finding the King in a good humor as they discoursed of Dreams said with a good grace before all the Company how the night before he dreamt That the King bestowed upon him a bag of Guineys Whereunto the King presently answered Why are you so foolish as to think a Christian man ought to believe Dreams 342. In the City of Constantinople a certain Christian desired to borrow of a Jew the sum of Five hundred Duckets The Jew lent them unto him with condition that for the use of the money he should at the end of the term give him two ounces of his flesh cut off in some one of his members The day of payment being come the Christian repayed the Five hundred Duckets to the Jew but refused to give him any part of his flesh The Jew not willing to lose his interest convented the Christian before Sultan Soliman Emperour of the Turks who having heard the wicked demand of the one and the answer of the other commanded a Razor to be brought and to be given to the Jew to whom he said Because thou shalt know that Justice is done thee take there the Razor and cut from the flesh of the Christian two ounces which thou demandest but take heed thou cut neither more nor less for if thou dost thou shalt surely die The Jew holding that to be a thing impossible durst not adventure but acquitted the Christian his Interest 343. The Pope who will have the disposing of Kingdoms and Dominions and Empires when he consulted of taking up Arms against the Saracens made Sanctius Brother to the King of Spain for his valour hardiness and good parts King of Egypt which was immediately proclaimed Sanctius not understanding Latine in which Language the Cryer proclaimed him King of Egypt and hearing the loud Acclamations of the People asked what they were for who having told him that the Pope had granted and proclaimed him King of Egypt he said unto his Interpreter Stand up and make here presently a Proclamation before all this people that seeing the Pope hath made me King of Egypt I make him Caliph of Babylon 344. The Duke of Millain being besieged in a Castle by the Florentines one day as he sate at Dinner he could not away but fell in mislike with the taste of the Victuals that were set before him insomuch that he chid his Cook and was very angry with him But the witty Cook willing to justifie himself from blame said unto the Duke My Lord your mean is well though dressed but the Florentines have put your mouth out of taste 345. The Poet Dant demanded of a Citizen of Florence What hour it was who answered him very