quickly Well quoth Sancho what I am going to tell you is every tittle true Shou'd I trip never so little in my Story my Master is here to take me up and give me the Lie Prithee said Don Quixote lie as much as thou wilt for all me I won't be thy hindrance But take heed what thou say'st Nay nay quoth Sancho let me alone for that I have heeded it and re-heeded it over and over and that you shall see I warrant you Truly my Lord said Don Quixote it were convenient that your Grace shou'd order this Fellow to be turn'd out of the Room for he will plague you with a thousand Impertinences Oh! as for that you must excuse me said the Dutchess Sancho must not stir a step from me I 'll engage for him he shall say nothing but what 's very proper Many and many proper Years quoth Sancho may your Holiness live Madam Dutchess for your Good Opinion of me tho' 't is more your Goodness than my Deserts Now then for my Tale. Once upon a time a Gentleman in our Town of a good Estate and Family for he was of the Blood of the Alamos of Medina del Campo and married one Donna Mencia de Quinones who was the Daughter of Don Alonzo de Maramon a Knight of the Order of St. Jago the very same that was drown'd in the Herradura about whom that Quarrel happen'd formerly in our Town in which I heard say that my Master Don Quixote was embroil'd and little Tom the Mad-Cap who was the Son of Old Balvastro the Farrier happen'd to be sorely hurt Is not all this true now Master Speak the Truth and shame the Devil that their Worships Graces may know that I am neither a Prater nor a Lyar. Thus far said the Clergy man I think thou are the first rather than the latter I can't tell what I shall make of thee by and by Thou producest so many Witnesses Sancho said Don Quixote and mention'st so many Circumstances that I must needs own I believe what thou say'st to be true But go on and shorten the Story for as thou beginnest I 'm afraid thou 'lt not have done these two Days Pray don't let him shorten it said the Dutchess Let him go his own way tho he were not to make an end these six Days I 'll hear him with Pleasure and think the time as pleasantly employ'd as any I ever pass'd in my Life I say then my Masters quoth Sancho that this same Gentleman I told you of at first and I know him as well as I know my right Hand from my left for 't is not a Bow-shot from my House to his this Gentleman invited a Husbandman to Dine with him who was a Poor Man but main Honest On Friend said the Chaplain at the rate you proceed you won't have made an end before you come to t'other World I shall stop short of half way quoth Sancho and it be Heaven's blessed Will A little more of your Christian Patience good Doctor Now this same Husbandman as I said before coming to this same Gentleman's House who had given him the Invitation Heaven rest his Soul Poor Heart For he 's now dead and gone and more than that they say he dy'd the Death of an Angel For my part I was not by him when he dy'd for I was gone to Harvest-Work at that very time to a place call'd Trembleque As you love your Life Friend said the Clergy-man leave your Reaping come back quickly from Trembleque without staying to bury the Gentleman unless you 've a Mind to make more Funerals and pray make an end of your Story You must know then quoth Sancho that as they two were ready to sit down at Table I mean the Husbandman and the Gentleman Methinks I see them now before my Eyes plainer than ever I did in my born Days The Duke and the Dutchess were infinitely pleas'd to find how Sancho spun out his Story and how the Clergy-man fretted at his Prolixity and Don Quixote spent himself with Anger and Vexation Well quoth Sancho to go on with my Story when they were going to sit down the Husbandman wou'd not sit till the Gentleman had taken his place but the Gentleman made him a sign to put himself at the Upper-end By no means Sir quoth the Husbandman Sit down said t'other Good your Worship quoth the Husbandman Sit where I bid thee said the Gentleman Still the other excus'd himself and would not and the Gentleman told him he should as meaning to be Master in his own House But the over-mannerly Lolpoop fancying he should be huge well Bred and Civil in it scrap'd and cring'd and refus'd till at last the Gentleman in a great Passion e'en took him by the Shoulders and forc'd him into the Chair Sit there Clod-pate cry'd he for let me sit where-ever I will that still will be the Upper-end and the place of Worship to thee And now you have my Tale and I think I ha' spoke nothing but what 's to the purpose Don Quixote's Face was in a thousand Colours that speckl'd its natural Brown so that the Duke and the Dutchess were obliged to Check their Mirth when they perceiv'd Sancho's Roguery that Don Quixote might not be put too much out of Countenance And therefore to turn the Discourse that Sancho might not run into other Fooleries the Dutchess ask'd Don Quixote what News he had of the Lady Dulcinea and how long it was since he had sent her any Giants or Robbers for a Present not doubting but that he had lately subdu'd many such Alass Madam answer'd he my Misfortunes have had a beginning but they will never have an end I have vanquish'd Giants Elves and Cuthroats and sent them to the Mistress of my Soul but where shall they find her She is Inchanted Madam and Transform'd to the ugliest Piece of Rusticity that can be imagin'd I don't know Sir quoth Sancho when I saw her last she seem'd to be the finest Creature in the Varsal World thus far at least I can safely vouch for her upon my own Knowledge that for Activity of Body and leaping the best Tumbler of 'em all does not go beyond her Upon my honest Word Madam Dutchess she 'll Vault from the Ground upon her Ass like a Cat. Have you seen her Inchanted said the Duke Seen her quoth Sancho And who the Devil was the first that hit upon this Trick of her Inchantment think you but I She is as much Inchanted as my Father The Church-man hearing 'em talk of Giants Elves and Inchantments began to suspect this was Don Quixote de la Mancha whose History the Duke so often us'd to Read tho' he had several times reprehended him for it telling him 't was a Folly to Read such Follies Being confirm'd in his Suspicion he address'd himself very angrily to the Duke My Lord said he your Grace will have a large account to give one Day for Pampering this Poor Man's Follies I
a cursed Copy of Verses he sung one Night under my Window which if I remember right began thus A SONG A Secret Fire consumes ny Heart And to augment my raging Pain The charming Foe that rais'd the Smart Denies me Freedom to Complain But sure 't is Just we shou'd conceal The Bliss and Woe in Love we feel For Oh what Humane Tongue can tell The Joys of Heaven or Pains of Hell These Words were to me so many Pearls of Eloquence and his Voice sweeter to my Ears than Sugar to the Taste The Reflection on the Misfortune which these Verses brought on me has often made me applaud Plato's Design of Banishing all Poets from a good and well-govern'd Common-wealth especially those who write Wantonly or Lasciviously For instead of Composing lamentable Verses like those of the Marquess of Mantua that make Women and Children Cry by the Fire-side they try their utmost Skill on such soft Strokes as enter the Soul and Wound it like that Thunder which hurts and consumes all within yet leaves the Garment sound Another time he entertain'd me with the following Song A SONG DEATH put on some kind Disguise And at once my Heart surprize For 't is such a Curse to Live And so great a Bliss to Die Should'st thou any Warning give I 'd relapse to Life for Joy Many other Verses of this kind he ply'd me with which charm'd when Read but Transported when Sung For you must know that when our eminent Poets debase themselves to the Writing a sort of Composure call'd Love-Madrigals and Roundelays now much in Vogue in Candaya those Verses are no sooner heard but they presently produce a dancing of Souls tickling of Fancies emotion of Spirits and in short a pleasing Distemper in the whole Body as if Quick-silver shooâ— it in every Part. So that once more I pronounce those Poets very dangerous and fit to be Banish'd to the Isles of Lizards Tho' truly I must confess the Fault is rather Chargeable on those foolish People that commend and the silly Wenches that believe ' em For had I been as cautious as my Place requir'd his Amorous Serenades cou'd never have mov'd me nor wou'd I have believ'd his Poetical Cant such as I dying Live I burn in Ice I shiver in Flames I hope in Despair I go yet stay with a thousand such Contradictions which make up the greatest part of those kind of Compositions As ridiculous are their Promises of the Phoenix of Arabia Ariadne's Crown the Coursers of the Sun the Pearls of the Southern Ocean the Gold of Tagus the Balsom of Panchaya and Heaven knows what By the way 't is observable that these Poets are very liberal of their Gifts which they know they never can make good But whither woe 's me whither do I wander miserable Woman What Madness prompts me to accuse the Faults of others having so long a score of my own to answer for Alas Not his Verses but my own Inclination Not his Musick but my own Levity not his Wit but my own Folly open'd a Passage and levell'd the way for Don Clavijo for that was the Name of the Knight In short I procur'd him Admittance and by my Connivance he very often had Natural Familiarity with Antonomasia who poor Lady was rather deluded by me than by him But Wicked as I was 't was upon the Honourable score of Marriage for had he not been engag'd to be her Husband he shou'd not have touch'd the very shadow of her Shooe-string No no Matrimony Matrimony I say for without that I 'll never meddle in any such Concern The greatest Fault in this Business was the Disparity of their Conditions he being but a private Knight and she Heiress to the Crown Now this Intrigue was kept very close for some time by my cautious Management but at last a certain kind of Swelling in Antonomasia's Belly began to tell Tales so that consulting upon the Matter we found there was but one Way Don Clavijo shou'd demand the young Lady in Marriage before the Curate by Virtue of a Promise under her Hand which I dictated for the Purpose and so binding that all the Strength of Sampson himself cou'd not have broke the Tie The Business was put in Execution the Note was produc'd before the Priest who examin'd the Lady and finding her Confession to agree with the Tenor of the Contract put her in Custody of a very honest Serjeant Bless us quoth Sancho Serjeants too and Poets and Songs and Verses in your Country O' my Conscience I think the World 's the same all the World over But go on Madam Trifaldi I beseech you for 't is late and I am upon Thorns till I know the End of this long-winded Story I will answer'd the Countess CHAP. XXXIX Where Trifaldi continues her stupendous and memorable Story IF every Word that Sancho spoke gave the Dutchess new pleasure every thing he said put Don Quixote to as much pain so that he commanded him silence and gave the Matron an opportunity to go on In short said she the Business was debated a good while and after many Questions and Answers the Princess firmly persisting in her first Declaration Judgment was given in favour of Don Clavijo which Queen Maguntia her Mother took so to Heart that we bury'd her about three Days after Then without doubt she dy'd quoth Sancho That 's a clear Case reply'd Trifaldin for in Candaya they don't use to Bury the Living but the Dead But with your good Leave Mr. Squire answer'd Sancho People that were in a Swoon have been bury'd alive before now and methinks Queen Maguntia should only have swoon'd away and not have been in such haste to have dy'd in good earnest for while there 's Life there 's Hopes and there 's a Remedy for all things but Death I don't find the young Lady was so much out of the Way neither that the Mother should lay it so grievously to Heart Indeed had she marry'd a Foot-man or some other Servant in the Family as I 'm told many others have done it had been a very bad Business and past curing but for the Queen to make such a heavy out-cry when her Daughter marry'd such a fine-bred young Knight Faith and Troth I think the Business had better been made up 'T was a slip but not such a hainous one as one would think For as my Master here says and he won't let me tell a Lie as of Scholars they make Bishops so of your Knights chiefly if they be Errant one may easily make Kings and Emperours That 's most certain said Don Quixote turn a Knight-Errant loose into the wide World with two penny-worth of good Fortune and he 's in potentia propinqua proxima I would say the greatest Emperour in the World But let the Lady proceed for hitherto her Story has been very pleasant and I doubt the most bitter part of it is still untold The most bitter truly Sir answer'd she and so bitter
watch'd Don Quixote's Motions no sooner spy'd such a Squadron driving the Dust before 'em but they got out of Harm's Way not judging it safe to be so near Danger And as for Sancho he shelter'd himself behind Rosinante's Crupper Only Don Quixote stood fix'd with an undaunted Courage When the Horsemen came near one of the foremost bawling to the Champion So hey cry'd he get out of the Way and be hang'd The Devil 's in the Fellow Stand off or the Bulls will tread thee to Pieces Go to ye Scoundrels answer'd Don Quixote none of your Bulls can avail with me tho' the fiercest that ever were Fed on the Banks of Xarama Acknowledge Hang-dogs all in a Body what I have proclaim'd here to be Truth or else stand Combat with me But the Cow-herd had not Time to Answer neither had Don Quixote any left to get out of the Way if he had been inclin'd to it for the Herd of Wild Bulls were presently upon him as they pour'd along with several tame Cows and a huge Company of Drivers and People that went to a Town where they were to be baited the next Day So bearing down all before 'em Knight and Squire Horse and Man they trampl'd 'em under foot at an unmerciful Rate There lay Sancho mawl'd Don Quixote stunn'd Dapple bruis'd and Rosinante in very indifferent Circumstances But for all this after the whole Rout of Men and Beasts were gone by up started Don Quixote ere he was throughly come to himself and staggering and stumbling falling and getting up again as fast as he cou'd he began to run after them Stop Scoundrels stop cry'd he aloud stay 't is a single Knight defies ye all one who scorns the Humour of making a Golden Bridge for a Flying Enemy But the hasty Travellers did not stop nor slacken their Speed for all his loud Defiance and minded it no more than the last Year's Snow At last Weariness stopp'd Don Quixote so that with all his Anger and no Prospect of Revenge he was forc'd to sit down in the Road till Sancho came up to him with Rosinante and Dapple Then the Master and Man made a shift to remount and asham'd of their bad Success hasten'd their Journey without taking leave of their Friends of the New Arcadia CHAP. LIX Of an extraordinary Accident that happen'd to Don Quixote which way well pass for an Adventure A Clear Fountain which Don Quixote and Sancho found among some verdant Trees serv'd to refresh 'em besmear'd with Dust and tir'd as they were after the rude Encounter of the Bulls There by the Brink leaving Rosinante and Dapple unbridl'd and unhalter'd to their own Liberty the two forlorn Adventurers sate down Sancho wash'd his Mouth and Don Quixote his Face The Squire then went to his old Cupboard the Wallet and having taken out of it what he us'd to call Belly-Timber laid it before the Knight But Don Quixote wou'd eat nothing for pure Vexation and Sancho durst not begin for pure good Manners expecting that he would first shew him the Way However finding him so wrapp'd in his Imaginations as to have no Thoughts of lifting his Hand up to his Mouth the Squire without letting one Word come out of his laid aside all Kind of good Breeding and began to stuff his hungry Maw with what Bread and Cheese he had before him Ear Friend Sancho cry'd Don Quixote repair the Decays of Nature and sustain Life which thou hast more Reason to cherish than I leave me to dye abandon'd to my Sorrows and the Violence of my Misfortunes I was born Sancho to Live Dying and thou to Dye Eating And that thou may'st be convinc'd I tell thee Truth do but reflect upon me famous in Histories dignify'd with the Honour of the Press renown'd for Feats of Arms courteous in Behaviour respected by Princes belov'd and importun'd by Damsels yet after all this when I at last flatter'd my self with Hopes of Laurels Triumphs and Crowns the Reward merited by my valorous Atchievements behold me trod under Foot trampl'd like the High-way Dirt Kick'd and Bruis'd by the Hoofs of vile and filthy Beasts The Thought dulls the Edge of my Teeth and of my Appetite unhinges my Jaws benums my Hands and stupifies my Senses and fearing more to live than to dye I am resolv'd almost to starve my self though to dye with Hunger be the most cruel of all Deaths So that belike quoth Sancho without losing any Time in Chewing you will not make good the Saying 'T is good to dye with a full Belly For my Part I am not so simple yet as to kill my self No I am like the Cobbler that stretches his Leather with his Teeth I am for lengthening my Life by Eating and I 'll stretch it with my Grinders as far as Heaven will let it run Faith and Troth Master there 's no greater Folly in this World than for a Man to despair and throw the Helve after the Hatchet Therefore take my Advice fall to and eat as I do and when you have done lye down and take a Nap the fresh Grass here will do as well as a Feather-bed I dare say by that Time you ' wake you 'll find your self better in Body and Mind Don Quixote follow'd Sancho's Counsel for he was convinc'd the Squire spoke good Natural Philosophy at that time However in the mean While a Thought coming into his Mind Ah! Sancho said he if thou would'st but do something that I am now going to desire thee my Cares wou'd sit more easy on me and my Comfort wou'd be more certain 'T is only this While according to thy Advice I try to compose my Thoughts with Sleep do thou but step aside a little and exposing thy Back-Parts bare in the open Air take the Reins of Rosinante's Bridle and give thy self some three or four Hundred smart Lashes in Part of the three Thousand and Odd thou art to receive to dis-enchant Dulcinea for in truth 't is a Shame and a very great Pity that poor Lady should remain enchanted all this while through thy Carelessness and Neglect There 's a great deal to be said as to that quoth Sancho but that will keep cold first let 's go sleep and then come what will come Heaven knows what will be done Do you think Sir 't is nothing for a Man to flogg himself in cold Blood I 'd have you to know 't is a cruel Thing especially when the Lashes must light upon a Body so weak and horribly lin'd within as mine is Let my Lady Dulcinea have a little Patience one of these Days when she least dreams on 't she 'll see my Skin pink'd and jagg'd like a flash'd Doublet with Lashes There 's nothing lost that comes at â—â—st whilst there 's Life there 's Hopes which is as good as to say I live with an Intent to make good my Promise Don Quixote gave him Thanks eat something and Sancho a great deal and then both betook themselves to
Custom he came to the Legacies as follows Item I give and bequeath to Sancha Pança whom in my Madness I made my Squire whatever Money he has or may have of mine in his Hands and whereas there are Reckonings and Accounts to be adjusted between us for what he has received and disburs'd my Will and Pleasure is That whatever may remain due to me which can be but small be enjoy'd by him as my free Gift without any Let or Molestation and much Good may it do him And as when I was mad he was thro' my Means made Governour of an Island I wou'd now in my right Senses give him the Government of a Kingdom were it in my Power in Consideration of his Integrity and Faithfulness And now my Friend said he turning to Sancho pardon me that I have brought upon thee as well as my self the Scandal of Madness by drawing thee into my own Errors and perswading thee there have been and there are still Knights-Errant in the World Woe is me my dear Master's Worship cry'd Sancho all in Tears don't die this Bout but e'en take my Counsel and live on a many Years 't is the maddest Trick a Man can ever play in his Life to let his Breath sneak out of his Body without any more ado and without so much as a Rap o'er the Pate or a Kick of the Guts to go out like the Snuff of a Farthing-Candle and die meerly of the Mulligrubs or the Sullens For Shame Sir don't give way to Sluggishness but get out of your doleful Dumps and rise Is this a Time to lie honing and groaning a Bed when we shou'd be abroad in the Fields in our Shepherd's Coats as we had resolv'd Ten to one but behind some Bush or under some Hedge we may find the Lady Madam Dulcinea stripp'd of her inchanted Rags and as fine as a Queen Mayhaps you take it to Heart that you were unhors'd and a little Crupper-scratch'd t'other Day but if that be all lay the Blame upon me and say 't was my Fault in not girting Rozinante tight enough You know too there 's nothing more common in your Errantry-Books than for the Knights to be every Foot justl'd out of the Saddle There 's nothing but Ups and Downs in this World and he that 's cast down to Day may be cock-a-hoop to Morrow Even so said Sampson honest Sancho has the right Notion of the Matter Soft and fair Gentlemen reply'd Don Quixote ne'er look for Birds of this Year in the Nests of the last I was mad but I am now in my Senses I was once Don Quixote de la Mancha but I am once more the good Alonso Quixano and I hope the Sincerity of my Words and my Repentance may restore me the same Esteem you have had for me before and so Mr. Scrivener pray go on Item I constitute and appoint Antonia Quixano my Niece here present sole Heiress of all my Estate both Real and Personal after all my just Debts and Legacies bequeath'd by these Presents shall have been pay'd satisfy'd and deducted out of the best of my Goods and Chattels and the first of that Kind to be discharged shall be the Salary due to my House-keeper together with twenty Ducats over and above her Wages which said Sum I leave and bequeath her to buy her Mourning Item I appoint Mr. Curate and Mr. Sampson Carrasco the Batchelor here present to be the Executors of this my last Will and Testament Item It is my Will that if my Niece Antonia Quixano be inclinable to marry it be with none but a Person who upon strict Inquiry shall be found never to have read a Book of Knight-Errantry in his Life and in case it appears that he has been conversant in such Books and that she persists in her Resolution to marry him she is then to forfeit all Right and Title to my Inheritance which in such Case my Executors are hereby impower'd to dispose to pious Uses as they shall think most convenient Item I entreat the said Executors that if at any time they happen to meet with the Author of a Book now extant entitl'd The Second Part of the Atchievements of Don Quixote de la Mancha they wou'd from me most heartily beg his Pardon for my being undesignedly the Occasion of his writing such a Parcel of Impertinences as is contain'd in that Book for it is the greatest Burden to my departing Soul that ever I was the Cause of his making such a Thing publick Having finish'd the Will he fell into a swooning Fit and extended his Body to the full Length in the Bed All the Company were troubl'd and alarm'd and ran to his Assistance However he came to himself at last but relaps'd into the like Fits almost every Hour for the Space of three Days that he liv'd after he had made his Will The whole Family was in Grief and Confusion and yet after all the Niece continu'd to eat the House-keeper drank and wash'd down Sorrow and Sancho Pança made much of himself For there is a strange Charm in the Thoughts of a good Legacy or the Hopes of an Estate which wondrously removes or at least alleviates the Sorrow that Men shouâ—d otherwise feel for the Death of Friends At last Don Quixote's Dying-Day did come after he had made all those Preparations for Death which good Christians ought to do and by many fresh and weighty Arguments shew'd his Abhorrence of Books of Knight-Errantry The Scrivener who was by protested he had never read in any Books of that kind of any Knight-Errant who ever dy'd in his Bed so quietly and like a good Christian as Don Quixote did In short amidst the Tears and Lamentations of his Friends he gave up the Ghost or to speak more plainly died which when the Curate perceiv'd he desir'd the Scrivener or Notary to give him a Certificate how Alonso Quixano commonly call'd The Good and sometimes known bp the Name of Don Quixote de la Mancha was departed out of this Life into another and died a natural Death This lest any other Author but Cid Hamet Benengeli shou'd take Occasion to raise him from the Dead and presume to write fabulous Histories of his pretended Adventures Thus dy'd that ingenious Gentleman Don Quixote de la Mancha whose Native Place Cid Hamet has not thought fit directly to mention that all the Towns and Villages in La Mancha should contend for the Honour of giving him Birth as the Seven Cities of Greece did for Homer We shall omit Sancho's Lamentations and those of the Niece and the House-keeper as also several Epitaphs that were made for his Tomb and will only give you this which the Batchelor Carrasco caus'd to be put over it Don Quixote's Epitaph THE Body of a Knight lies here So brave that to his latest Breath Immortal Glory was his Care And makes him triumph over Death His Looks spread Terrour every Hour He strove Oppression to controul Nor cou'd all Hell's United Pow'r Subdue or daunt his Mighty Soul Nor has his Death the World deceiv'd Less than his wondrous Life surpriz'd For if he like a Madman liv'd At least he like a Wise One dy'd Here the Sagsacious Cid Hamet addressing himself to his Pen O thou my slender Pen says he thou of whose Knib whether well or ill cut I dare not speak my Thoughts Suspended by this Wire remain upon this Rack where I deposite thee There may'st thou claim a Being many Ages unless presumptuous Scribblers take thee down to profane thee But e'er they lay their heavy Hands on thee bid 'em beware and as well as thou can'st in their own Stile tell 'em Avaunt ye Scoundrels all and some I 'm kept for no such thing Defile not me but hang your selves And so God save the King For me alone was the great Quixote born and I alone for him Deeds were his Task and to record 'em mine We two like Tallies for each other struck are nothing when apart In vain the spurlous Scribe of Tordesellas dar'd with his blunt and bungling Ostridge-Quill invade the Deeds of my most Valorous Knight The great Attempt derides his feeble Skill while he betrays a Sense benumm'd and frozen And thou Reader if ever thou can'st find him out in his Obscurity I beseech thee advise him likewise to let the wearied mouldring Bones of Don Quixote rest quiet in the Earth that covers ' em Let him not expose 'em in Old Castile against the Sanctions of Death impiously raking him out of the Grave where he really lies stretch'd out beyond a Possibility of taking a third Ramble thro' the World The two Sallies that he has made already which are the Subject of these two Volumes and have met with such universal Applause in this and other Kingdoms are sufficient to ridicule the pretended Adventures of other Knights-Errant Thus advising him for the best thou shalt discharge the Duty of a Christian and do good to him that wishes thee Evil. As for me I must esteem my self happy and gain my End in rendring those fabulous Nonsensical Stories of Knight-Errantry the Object of the Publick Aversion They are already going down and I do not doubt but they will drop and fall altogether in good Earnest never to rise again Adieu FINIS
pleas'd with his Gallantry and took a secret Delight in seeing my self thus courted by a Person of his Quality Such demonstrations of Love are never altogether displeasing to Women and the most disdainful in spight of all their Coyness reserve a little Complaisance in their Hearts for their Admirers But the disproportion between our Qualities was too great to suffer me to entertain any reasonable Hopes and his Gallantry too singular not to offend me Besides my Father who soon made a right Construction of Don Ferdinand's Pretensions with his prudent Admonitions concurr'd with the Sense I ever had of my Honour and banish'd from my Mind all favourable Thoughts of his Addresses However like a kind Parent perceiving I was somewhat uneasy and imagining the flattering Prospect of so advantagious a Match might still amuse me he told me one day he repos'd the utmost Trust in my Virtue esteeming it the strongest Obstacle he could oppose to Don Ferdinand 's dishonourable Designs yet if I wou'd Marry to rid me at once of his unjust Pursuit and prevent the ruin of my Reputation I shou'd have Liberty to make my own choice of a suitable Match either in our own Town or the Neighbourhood and that he would do for me whatever cou'd be expected from a loving Father I humbly thank'd him for his Kindness and told him that as I had never yet had any Thoughts of Marriage I wou'd try to rid my self of Don Ferdinand some other way Accordingly I resolv'd to shun him with so much Precaution that he shou'd never have the Opportunity to speak to me But all my reserv'dness far from tiring out his Passion strengthen'd it the more In short Don Ferdinand either hearing or suspecting I was to be marry'd thought of a contrivance to cross a Design that was likely to cut off all his Hopes One Night therefore when I was in my Chamber no Body with me but my Maid and the Door double-lock'd and bolted that I might be secur'd against the Attempts of Don Ferdinand whom I took to be a Man who would stick at nothing to compass his Designs unexpectedly I saw him just before me which amazing sight so surpriz'd me that I was struck dumb and fainted away with Fear So I had not power to call for help nor do I believe he wou'd have given me time to have done it had I attempted it for he presently ran to me and taking me in his Arms while I was sinking with the Fright he spoke to me in such endearing Terms and with so much Address and pretended Tenderness and Sincerity that I did not dare to cry out when I came to my self His Sighs and yet more his Tears seem'd to me undeniable proofs of his vow'd Integrity and I being but young bred up in perpetual Retirement from all Society but my virtuous Parents and unexperienc'd in those Affairs in which even the most knowing are apt to be mistaken my reluctancy abated by Degrees and I began to have some sense of Compassion yet none but what was consistent with my Honour However when I was pretty well recover'd from my first Fright my former Resolution return'd and then with more Courage than I thought I shou'd have had My Lord said Love I if at the same time that you offer me your Love and give me such strange Demonstration of it you wou'd also offer me Poison and Leave to take my choice I wou'd soon resolve which to accept and convince you by my Death that my Honour is dearer to me than my Life To be plain I can have no good opinion of a Presumption that endangers my Reputation and unless you leave me this Moment I will so effectually make you know how much you 're mistaken in me that if you have but the least sense of Honour left you 'll repent the driving me to that Extremity as long as you live I was born your Vassal but not your Slave nor does the greatness of your Birth privilege you to injure your Inferiours or exact from me more than the Duties which all Vassals pay That excepted I do not esteem my self less in my low Degree than you have reason to value your self in your high Rank Do not then think to awe or dazzle me with your Grandeur or fright or force me into a base Compliance I am not to be tempted with Titles Pomp and Equipage nor weak enough to be mov'd with vain Sighs and false Tears In short my Will is wholly at my Father's Disposal and I will not entertain any Man as a Lover but by his Appointment Therefore my Lord if you wou'd have me believe you so sincerely love me give over your vain and injurious Pursuit suffer me peaceably to enjoy the benefits of Life in the free possession of my Honour the loss of which for ever imbitters all Life's Sweets and since you cannot be my Husband do not expect from me that Affection which I cannot pay to any other What do you mean charming Dorothea cry'd the perfidious Lord. Cannot I be yours by the sacred Title of Husband Who can hinder me if you 'll but consent to bless me on those Terms Too happy if I have no other Obstacle to surmount I am yours this Moment beautiful Dorothea see I give you here my Hand to be yours and yours alone for ever And let all-seeing Heaven and this Holy Image here on your Oratory witness the solemn Truth Cardenio hearing her call her self Dorothea was now fully satisfy'd she was the Person whom he took her to be However he wou'd not interrupt her Story being impatient to hear the End of it only addressing himself to her Is then your Name Dorothea Madam cry'd he I have heard of a Lady of that Name whose Misfortunes have a great Resemblance with yours But proceed I beseech you and when you have done I may perhaps surprize you with an Account of things that have some Affinity with those you relate With that Dorothea made a stop to study Cardenio's Face and his wretched Attire and then earnestly desir'd him if he knew any thing that concern'd her to let her know it presently telling him that all the Happiness she had left was only the Courage to bear with Resignation all the Disasters that might befal her well assur'd that no new one cou'd make her more unfortunate then she was already Truly Madam reply'd Cardenio I wou'd tell you all I know were I sure my Conjectures were true but so far as I may judge by what I 've heard hitherto I don't think it material to tell it you yet and I shall find a more proper time to do it Then Dorothea resuming her Discourse Don Ferdinand said she repeated his Vows of Marriage in the most serious manner and giving me his Hand plighted me his Faith with the most binding Words and sacred Oaths But before I wou'd let him engage himself thus I advis'd him to have a Care how he suffer'd an unruly Passion to get the
Magnificent and Authentick This Thought yielded him a while some small Consolation but then he relaps'd into Melancholick Doubts and Anxieties when he consider'd that the Author had given himself the Title of Cid and consequently must be a Moor A Nation from whom no Truth could be expected they all being given to impose on others with Lies and fabulous Stories to Falsify and Counterfeit and very fond of their own Chimera's He was not less uneasie lest that Writer should have been too lavish in treating of his Amours to the Prejudice of his Lady Dulcinea del Toboso's Honour He earnestly wish'd that he might find his own inviolable Fidelity celebrated in the History and the Reservedness and Decency which he had always so Religiously observed in his Passion for her slighting Queens Empresses and Damsels of every degree for her sake and suppressing the dangerous impulses of natural Desire Sancho and Carrasco found him thus agitated and perplex'd with a thousand melancholick Fancies which yet did not hinder him from receiving the Stranger with a great deal of Civility This Batchelour though his Name were Sampson was none of the biggest in Body but a very great Man at all manner of Drollery he had a Pale and bad Complexion but good Sense He was about four and twenty years of Age round Visag'd flat Nos'd and wide Mouth'd all signs of a malicious Disposition and of one that would delight in nothing more than in making Sport for himself by Ridiculing others as he plainly discover'd when he saw Don Quixote For falling on his Knees before him admit me to kiss your Honour's Hand cry'd he most Noble Don Quixote for by the Habit of St. Peter which I wear though indeed I have as yet taken but the four first of the Holy Orders you are certainly one of the most Renowned Knights-Errant that ever was or ever will be through the whole extent of the habitable Globe Blest may the Sage Cid Hamet Benengeli be for inriching the World with the History of your mighty Deeds and more than Blest that curious Virtuoso who took care to have it Translated out of the Arabick into our vulgar Tongue for the universal Entertainment of Mankind Sir said Don Quixote making him rise is it then possible that my History is extant and that it was a Moor and one of the Sages that Penn'd it 'T is so notorious a Truth said the Batchelour that I do not in the least doubt but at this Day there have already been Publish'd above twelve thousand Copies of it Portugal Barcelona and Valencia where they have been Printed can Witness that if there were occasion 'T is said that 't is also now in the Press at Antwerp And I verily believe there 's scarce a Language into which it is not to be Translated Truly Sir said Don Quixote one of the things that ought to yield the greatest Satisfaction to a Person of eminent Virtue is to live to see himself in good Reputation in the World and his Actions publish'd in Print I say in good Reputation for otherwise there 's no Death but would be preferable to such a Life As for a good Name and Reputation reply'd Carrasco your Worship has gain'd the Palm from all the Knight-Errants that ever liv'd For both the Arabian in his History and the Christian in his Version have been very Industrious to do Justice to your Character your peculiar Gallantry your Intrepidity and greatness of Spirit in affronting Danger your Constancy in Adversities your Patience in suffering Wounds and Afflictions your Modesty and Continence in that Amour so very Platonick between your Worship and my Lady Donna Dulcinea del Toboso Odsbobs cry'd Sancho I never heard her call'd so before that Donna is a new kick for she us'd to be call'd only my Lady Dulcinea del Toboso in that the History is out already That 's no material Objection said Carrasco No certainly added Don Quixote But pray good Mr. Batchelor on which of all my Adventures does the History seem to lay the greatest stress of Remark As to that answer'd Carrasco the Opinions of Men are divided according to their Tastes Some cry up the Adventure of the Wind-mills which appear'd to your Worship so many Briareus's and Giants Some are for that of the Fulling-mills Others stand up for the Description of the two Armies that afterwards prov'd two Flocks of Sheep Others prize most the Adventure of the dead Corps that was carrying to Segovia One says that none of them can compare with that of the Galley-Slaves another that none can stand in Competition with the Adventure of the Benedictine Giants and the Valorous Biscayner Pray Mr. Batchelor quoth Sancho is there nothing said of that of the Yanguesians an 't please you when our precious Rozinante was so Mawl'd for offering to take a little Carnal Recreation with their Mares There 's not the least thing omitted answer'd Carrasco the Sage has inserted all with the nicest punctuality imaginable so much as the Capers which honest Sancho fetch'd in the Blanket I fetch'd none in the Blanket quoth Sancho but in the Air and that too oftner than I cou'd ha' wish'd the more my Sorrow In my Opinion said Don Quixote there is no manner of History in the World where you shall not find variety of Fortune much less any Story of Knight-Errantry where a Man cannot always be sure of good Success However said Carrasco some who have read your History wish that the Author had spar'd himself the pains of Regist'ring some of that infinite number of Drubs which the Noble Don Quixote receiv'd There lies the Truth of the History quoth Sancho Those things in human Equity said Don Quixote might very well have been omitted for Actions that neither impair nor alter the History ought rather to be bury'd in Silence than related if they redound to the Discredit of the chief Person Certainly Aeneas was never so Pious as Virgil represents him nor Ulysses so Prudent as he is made by Homer I am of your Opinion said Carrasco but 't is one thing to write like a Poet and another thing to write like an Historian 'T is sufficient for the first to deliver matters as they ought to have been whereas the last must relate 'em as they were really transacted without adding or omitting any thing upon any pretence whatever Well quoth Sancho if this same Moorish Lord be once got into the Road of Truth a hundred to one but among my Master's Rib-roastings he has not forgot mine for they never took Measure of his Worship's Shoulders but they were pleas'd to do as much for my whole Body But 't was no Wonder for 't is his own Rule that if once his Head aches every Limb must suffer too Sancho said Don Quixote you are an arch unlucky Knave upon my Honour you can find Memory when you have a mind to have it Nay quoth Sancho though I were minded to forget the Rubs and Drubs I ha' suffer'd the Bumps
only mean that their Penances are not so severe as in former Days yet this does not hinder but that the Hermits of the present Age may be good Men. I look upon 'em to be such at least their Dissimulation secures 'em from Scandal and the Hypocrite that puts on the Form of Holiness does certainly less harm than the bare-fac'd Sinner As they went on in their Discourse they saw a Man following them a great pace on Foot and switching up a Mule laden with Lances and Halbards He presently overtook 'em gave 'em the time of the Day and pass'd by Stay honest Fellow cry'd Don Quixote seeing him go so fast make no more haste than is consistent with good speed I can't stay Sir said the Man for these Weapons that you see must be us'd to morrow Morning so Sir I am in haste good b'y I shall Lodge to Night at the Inn beyond the Hermitage if you chance to go that way there you may find me and I 'll tell you strange News So fare ye well Then whipping his Mule away he mov'd forwards so fast that Don Quixote had not Leisure to ask him any more Questions The Knight who had always an Itching Ear after Novelties to satisfie his Curiosity immediately propos'd their holding straight on to the Inn without stopping at the Hermitage where the Scholar design'd to have stay'd all Night Well they all consented and made the best of their Way however when they came near the Hermitage the Scholar desir'd Don Quixote to call with him for a Moment and drink a Glass of Wine at the Door Sancho no sooner heard this propos'd but he turn'd Dapple that way and rode thither before but to his great Grief the hospitable Hermit was abroad and no body at home but the Hermit's Companion who being ask'd whether he had any strong Liquor within made answer that he cou'd not come at any but as for small Water he might have his Belly-full Body of me quoth Sancho were mine a Water-Thirst or had I liking to your cold Comfort there are Wells enough upon the Road where I might have swill'd my Skin full Oh the good Cheer at Don Diego's House and the savory Scum at Camacho's Wedding when shall I find your Fellow They now spurr'd on towards the Inn and soon overtook on the Road a young Fellow beating it on the Hoof pretty leisurely He carry'd his Sword over his Shoulder with a Bundle of Cloaths hanging upon it which to all outward Appearance consisted of a pair of Breeches a Cloak and a Shirt or two He had on a tatter'd Velvet-Jerkin with a ragged Sattin-Lining his Shirt hung out his Stockings were of Silk and his Shooes square at the Toes after the Court-Fashion He seem'd about Eighteen or Nineteen Years of Age a good pleasant-look'd Lad and of a lively and active Disposition To pass the Fatigue of his Journey the best he cou'd he Sung all the way and as they came near him was got to the end of a Ballad which the Scholar got by Heart A Plague on ill Luck Now my Ready's all gone To the Wars poor Pilgarlick must trudge Tho' had I but Money to Rake as I 've done The Devil a Foot wou'd I budge So young Gentleman said Don Quixote to him methinks you go very light and airy Whither are you bound I pray you if a Man may be so bold I 'm going to the Wars Sir answe'r'd the Youth and for my Travelling thus Heat and Poverty will excuse it I admit the Heat reply'd Don Quixote but why Poverty I beseech you Because I have no Cloaths to put on reply'd the Lad but what I carry in this Bundle and if I shou'd wear 'em out upon the Road I shou'd have nothing to make a handsome Figure with in any Town for I have no Money to buy new ones till I overtake a Regiment of Foot that lies about some twelve Leagues off where I design to List my self and then I shall not want a Conveniency to ride with the Baggage till we come to Carthagena where I here they are to Embark for I had rather serve the King abroad than any beggarly Courtier at home But pray said the Scholar have not you laid up something while you were there Had I serv'd any of your Grandees or great Persons said the young Man I might have done well enough and have had a Commission by this time for their Foot-boys are presently advanc'd to Captains and Lieutenants or some other good Post But a Plague on 't Sir 't was always my ill Fortune to serve pitiful Upstarts and Younger Brothers and my Allowance was commonly so ill paid and so small that the better half was scarce enough to wash my Linnen how then should a poor Devil of a Page who would make his Fortune come to any good in such a miserable Service But said Don Quixote how comes it about that in all this time you could not get your self a whole Livery Alack-a-day Sir answer'd the Lad I had a couple but my Masters dealt with me as they do with Novices in Monasteries if they go off before they Profess the fresh Habit is taken from them and they return them their old Cloaths For you must know that such as I serv'd only buy Liveries for a little Ostentation so when they have made their Appearance at Court they sneak down into the Country and then the poor Servants are stripp'd and must e'en betake themselves to their Rags again A sordid Trick said Don Quixote or as the Italians call it a notorious Espilocheria Well you need not repine at leaving the Court since you do it with so good a Design for there 's nothing in the World more commendable than to serve God in the first Place and the King in the next especially in the Profession of Arms which if it does not procure a Man so much Riches as Learning may at least intitle him to more Honour 'T is true that more Families have been advanc'd by the Gown but yet your Gentlemen of the Sword whatever the Reason of it is have always I know not what Advantage above the Men of Learning and something of Glory and Splendour attends 'em that makes them outshine the rest of Mankind But take my Advice along with you Child if you intend to raise your self by a Military Employment I would not have you be uneasie with the Thoughts of what Misfortunes may befall you the worst can be but to Die and if it be a good Honourable Death your Fortune 's made and you 're certainly happy Julius Caesar that Valiant Roman Emperor being ask'd what kind of Death was best That which is sudden and unexpected said he and tho' his Answer had a relish of Paganism yet with respect to Humane Infirmities 't was very Judicious for suppose you should be cut off at the very first Engagement by a Canon-Ball or the springing of a Mine what imports it 'T is all but Dying and there
come of the rest so their Turn is serv'd Now if a poor Judge does not hear and dispatch them presently either because he is other ways busie and cannot or because they don't come at a proper Season then do they grumble and give him their Blessing backwards rake up the Ashes of his Fore-Fathers and would gnaw his very Bones But with your Leave good Mr. Busy-body with all your Business you are too hasty pray have a little Patience and wait a fit Time to make your Application Don't come at Dinner-time or when a Man is going to Sleep for we Judges are Flesh and Blood and must allow Nature what she naturally requires unless it be poor I who am not to allow mine any Food thanks to my Friend Master Doctor Pedro Rezio Tirteafuera here present who is for starving me to Death and then swears 't is for the Preservation of my Life Heaven grant him such a Life I pray and all the Gang of such Physick-mongers as he is for the good Physicians deserve Palms and Laurels All that knew Sancho wonder'd to hear him talk so sensibly and began to think that Offices and Places of Trust inspir'd some Men with Understanding as they stupify'd and confounded others However Doctor Pedro Rezio aguero de Tirteafuera promis'd him he should sup that Night though he trespass'd against all the Aphorisms of Hippocrates This pacify'd the Governor for the present and made him wait with a mighty Impatience for the Evening and Supper To his thinking the Hour was so long a coming that he fancy'd Time stood still but yet at last the wish'd for Moment came and they serv'd him up some minc'd Beef with Onions and some Calves-feet somewhat stale The hungry Governour presently fell to with more Eagerness and Appetite than if they had given him Milan God wits Roman Pheasants Sorrentum Veal Moron Partridges or Lavajos Goslins And after he had pretty well taken off the sharp Edge of his Stomach turning to the Physician Look you quoth he Mr. Doctor hereafter never trouble your self to get me Dainties or Tit-bits to humour my Stomach that would but take it quite off the Hinges by Reason it has been us'd to nothing but good Beef Bacon Pork Goats-flesh Turnips and Onions and if you ply me with your Kickshaws your nice Courtiers Fare 't will but make my Stomach squeamish and untoward and I should perfectly loath them one time or other However I shall not take it amiss if the Steward will now and then set before me one of those Olla-Pâ—dridas's where all Sorts of good Things are rotten-stew'd and as it were lost in one another and the more they are thus rotten and like their Name the better the Smack and there you may make a Jumble of what you will so it be eatable and I shall remember him and make him Amends one of these Days But let no Body put Tricks upon Travellers and make a Fool of me for either we are or we are not Let 's be Merry and Wise when God sends his Light he sends it to all I 'll govern this Island fair and square without Underhand-dealings or taking of Bribes but take notice I won't bate an Inch of my Right and therefore let every one carry an even Hand and mind their Hits or else I 'd have them to know there 's Rods in Piss for ' em They that urge me too far shall rue for it make your self Honey and the Flies will eat you Indeed my Lord Governour said the Steward your Lordship is much in the right in all you have said and I dare engage for the Inhabitants of this Island that they will obey and observe your Commands with Diligence Love and Punctuality for your gentle Way of Governing in the Beginning of your Administration does not give them the least Opportunity to act or but to design any Thing to your Lordship's Disadvantage I believe as much answer'd Sancho and they would be silly Wretches should they offer to do or think otherwise Let me tell you too 't is my Pleasure you take care of me and my Dapple that we may both have our Food as we ought which is the most material Business Next let us think of going the Rounds when 't is time for me to do it for I intend to clear this Island of all Filth and Rubbish of all Rogues and Vagrants idle Lusks and sturdy Beggers For I would have you to know my good Friends that your slothful lazy lewd People in a Commonwealth are like Drones in a Bee-hive that waste and devour the Honey which the labouring Bees gather I design to encourage Husbandmen preserve the Privileges of the Gentry reward vertuous Persons and above all Things reverence Religion and have regard to the Honour Religious Men. What think you of this my good Friends do I talk to the Purpose or do I talk idly You speak so well my Lord Governour answer'd the Steward that I stand in Admiration to hear a Man so unletter'd as you are for I believe your Lordship can't read at all utter so many notable Things and in every Word a Sentence far from what they who sent you hither and they who are here present ever expected from your Understanding But every Day produces some new Wonder Jests are turn'd into Earnest and those who design'd to laugh at others happen to be laugh'd at themselves It being now Night and the Governour having supp'd with Doctor Rezio's Leave he prepar'd to walk the Rounds and set forward attended by the Steward the Secretary the Gentleman-Waiter the Historiographer who was to register his Acts several Sergeants and other Limbs of the Law so many in Number that they made a little Battalion in the Middle of which the great Sancho march'd with his Rod of Justice in his Hand in a notable manner They had not walk'd far in the Town before they heard the clashing of Swords which made 'em hasten to the Place whence the Noise came Being come thither they found onlâ— two Men a fighting who gave over perceiving the Officers What cry'd one of them at the same Time Do they suffer Folks to be robb'd in this Town in Defiance to Heaven and the King Do they let Men be stripp'd in the Middle of the Street Hold honest Man said Sancho have a little Patience and let me know the Occasion of this Fray for I am the Governor My Lord said the other Party I 'll tell you in few Words Your Lordship must know that this Gentleman just now at a Gaming Ordinary over the Way won above a thousand Reals Heaven knows how I stood by all the while and gave Judgment for him in more than one doubtful Cast tho' I could not well tell how to do it in Conscience He carried off his Winnings and when I expected he would have given me a Piece or Two as it is a Claim among Gentlemen of my Fashion who frequent Ordinaries from those that play high and win for
tenebras spero lucem That I don't understand quoth Sancho but this I very well know that while I am asleep I feel neither Hope nor Despair I am free from Pain at least if not from Pleasure Now Blessings light on him that first invented this same Sleep It covers a Man all over Thoughts and all like a Cloak 't is Meat for the Hungry Drink for the Thirsty Heat for the Cold and Cold for the Hot. 'T is the current Coin that purchases all the Pleasures of the World cheap and the Ballance that sets the King and the Shepherd the Fool and the Wise-Man even There is only one Thing which Somebody once put into my Head that I dislike in Sleep 't is that it resembles Death there 's very little Difference between a Man in his first Sleep and a Man in his last Sleep Most elegantly spoken said Don Quixote Thou hast much outdone any Thing I ever heard thee say before which confirms me in the Truth of one of thy own Proverbs Birth is much but Breeding more God's me Master of mine cry'd Sancho I 'm not the only he now that threads Proverbs for you tack 'em together faster than I do I think I see no Difference but that yours come in Season and mine out of Season but for all that they are all but Proverbs Thus they were employ'd when their Ears were alarm'd with a Kind of a hoarse and grunting Noise that spread it self over all the adjacent Valleys Presently Don Quixote started up on his Legs and laid his Hand to his Sword as for Sancho he immediately set up some Intrenchments about him clapping the Bundle of Armour on one Side and fortifying the other with the Ass's Pack-saddle and then he nested himself all up and squatted under Dapple's Belly where he lay snug and panting as full of Fears as his Master of Surprize and every Moment the Noise grew louder as the Cause of it approach'd to the Terror of the one at least for as for t'other 't is sufficiently known what his Valour was Now the Occasion was this Some Fellows were driving a Herd of above six hundred Swine to a certain Fair and with their grunting and squeaking the filthy Beasts made such a horrible Noise that Don Quixote and Sancho were almost stunn'd with it and cou'd not imagine whence it proceeded But at length the Knight and Squire standing in their Way the rude Swinish Animals came thronging up all in a Body and without any Respect of Persons some running between the Knight's Legs and some between the Squire 's threw down both Master and Man having not only insulted Sancho's Intrenchments but also thrown down Rosinante And having thus broke in upon 'em on they went and bore down all before 'em overthrowing Pack-saddle Armour Knight Squire Horse and all crouding treading and trampling over them all at a horrid rate Sancho was the first that made a shift to recover his Legs and having by this time found out what the Matter was he call'd to his Master to lend him his Sword and swore he would stick at least half a dozen of those rude Porkers immediately No no my Friend said Don Quixote let 'em e'en go Heaven inflicts this Disgrace upon my guilty Head for 't is but a just Punishment that Dogs shou'd devour Hornets sting and vile Hogs trample on a vanquish'd Knight-Errant And belike quoth Sancho that Heaven sends the Fleas to sting the Lice to bite and Hunger to famish us poor Squires for keeping these vanquish'd Knights Company If we Squires were the Sons of those Knights or any ways related to 'em why then something might be said for our bearing a Share of their Punishment tho' it were to the third and fourth Generation But what have the Pança's to do with the Quixotes Well let 's to our old Places again and sleep out the little that 's left of the Night To Morrow is a new Day Sleep Sancho cry'd Don Quixote sleep for thou wert born to sleep but I who was design'd to be still waking intend before Aurora ushers in the Sun to give a Loose to my Thoughts and vent my Conceptions in a Madrigal that I made last Night unknown to thee Methinks quoth Sancho a Man can't be in great Affliction when he can turn his Brain to the making of Verses Therefore you may versify on as long as you please and I 'll sleep it out as much as I can This said he laid himself down on the Ground as he thought best and hunching himself close together fell fast asleep without any Disturbance from either Debts Suretiship or any Care whatsoever On the other side Don Quixote leaning against the Trunk of a Beech or a Cork-Tree for 't is not determin'd by Cid Hamet which it was sung in Consort with his Sighs the following Composition A SONG to LOVE WHene'er I think what a mighty Pain The Slave must bear who drags thy Chain Oh! Love for Ease to Death I go The Cure of Thee the Cure of Life and Woe But when alass I think I 'm sure Of that which must by Killing Cure The Pleasure that I feel in Death Proves a strong Cordial to restore my Breath Thus Life each Moment makes me die And Death it self new Life can give I Hopeless and Tormented lye And neither truly Die nor Live The many Tears as well as Sighs that accompany'd this musical Complaint were a Sign that the Knight had deeply lay'd to Heart his late Defeat and the Absence of his Dulcinea Now Day came on and the Sun darting his Beams on Sancho's Face at last awak'd him whereupon rubbing his Eyes and yawning and stretching his drowsy Limbs he perceiv'd the Havock that the Hogs had made in his Baggage which made him wish not only the Herd but Somebody else at the Devil and further In short the Knight and the Squire both set forward on their Journey and about the Close of the Evening they discover'd some half a Score Horsemen and four or five Fellows on Foot making directly towards them Don Quixote at the Sight felt a strange Emotion in his Breast and Sancho fell a shivering from Head to Foot for they perceiv'd that these Strangers were provided with Spears and Shields and other warlike Implements Whereupon the Knight turning to the Squire Ah! Sancho said he were it lawful for me at this Time to practise Feats of Arms and had I my Hand at Liberty from my Promise what a joyful Sight shou'd I esteem this Squadron that approaches But now however notwithstanding my present Apprehensions Things may fall out better than we expect By this Time the Horsemen with their Lances advanc'd came close up to them without speaking a Word and encompassing Don Quixote in a menacing Manner with their Points levell'd to his Back and Breast one of the Footmen by laying his Finger upon his Mouth signify'd to Don Quixote that he must be mute then taking Rosinante by the Bridle he led him out of
of Darius which he devoted to enclose Homer s Works For I must tell you Neighbor that Book deserves particular respect for two things First for its own Excellencies and Secondly for the sake of its Author who is said to have been a learned King of Portugal Then all the Adventures of the Castle of Miraguarda are well and art fully manag'd The Dialogue very courtly and clear and the Decorum strictly observ'd in every Character with equal Propriety and Judgment Therefore Mr Nicholas continu'd he with submission to your better advice this and Amadis de Gaul shall be exempted from the Fire and let all the rest be condemn'd without any further enquiry or examination By no means I beseech you return'd the Barber for this which I have in my hands is the famous Don Bellianis Truly cry'd the Curate he with his second third and fourth parts had need of a Dose of Rhuharb to purge his excessive Choler besides his Castle of Fame shou'd be demolish'd and a heap of other Rubbish remov'd In order to which I give my Vote to grant 'em the benefit of Transportation and as they shew signs of amendment so shall Mercy or Justice be us'd towards 'em In the mean time Neighbor take 'em into custody and keep 'em safe at home but let none be permitted to converse with ' em Content cry'd the Barber and to save himself the labour of looking on any more Books of that kind he bid the House-keeper take all the great Volumes and throw 'em into the Yard She who long'd to be at that Sport as much as to be making her Wedding Smock had no need of being twice spoken to so that laying hold on no less than eight Volumes at once she presently made 'em leap towards the place of Execution But as she went too eagerly to work taking more Books than she cou d conveniently carry she happen'd to drop one at the Barbers Feet which he took up out of Curiosity to see what it was and found it to be the History of the famous Knight Tirante the White good lack-a-day cry'd the Curate Is Tirante the White here Oh pray good Neighbour give it me by all means for I promise my self to find in it a Treasure of Delight and a Mine of Recreation There we have that valorous Knight Don Kyrie-Eleiso of Montaban with his Brother Thomas of Montaban and the Knight Fonseca the combat of the valorous Detriante with the Mastiff the dainty and witty conceits of the Damsel Plazerdemivida with the Loves and Guiles of the Widow Reposada together with the Lady Empress that was in Love with Hippolito her Gentleman Usher I vow and protest to you neighbour continued he that as for style there is not a better Book in the World Why here your Knights eat and drink sleep and dye natural Deaths in their Beds nay and first make their last Wills and Testaments with a World of other things of which all the rest of these sort of Books don't say one syllable Yet after all I must tell you that for wilfully taking the pains to write so many foolish things the worthy Author fairly deserves to be sent to the Galleys for all the days of his life Take it home with you and read it and then tell me whether I have told the truth or no. I believe you reply'd the Barber But what shall we do with all these smaller Books that are left Certainly return'd the Curate these cannot be Books of Knight Errantry they are too small You 'll find they are only Poets And so opening one it happen'd to be the Diana of Montemayor which made him say believing all the rest to be of that stamp These do not deserve to be punisht like the others for they neither have done nor can do that mischief which those Stories of Chivalry have done being generally ingenious Books that can do no body any prejudice Oh! good Sir cry'd the Neice burn 'em with the rest I beseech you for shou'd my Unkle get cur'd of his Knight-Errant-Frenzy and betake himself to the reading of these Books we shou'd have him turn Shepherd and so wander thro the Woods and Fields nay and what wou'd be worse yet turn Poet which they say is a catching and an incurable Disease The Gentlewoman is in the right said the Curate and it will not be amiss to remove that stumbling Blockout of our Friends way and since we began with the Diana of Montemayor I am of opinion we ought not to burn it but only take out that part of it which treats of the Magician Felicia and the enchanted water as also all the longer Poems and let the work escape with its Prose and the honour of being the chief of that kind Here 's another Diana quoth the Barber the second of that name by Salmantino nay and a third too by Gil Polo Pray said the Curate let Salmantino encrease the number of the Crâ—minals in the Yard but as for that by Gil Polo preserve it as charily as if Apollo himself had wrote it and go on as fast as you can I beseech you good Neighbour for it grows late Here quoth the Barber I 've a Book call d the Ten Books of the Fortune of Love written by Anthony de Lofrasco a Sardinian Poet. Now by my holy Orders cry'd the Curate I do not think since Apollo was Apollo the Muses Muses and the Poets Poets there was ever a more comical more silly Book Of all the works of the kind commend me to this for in its way 't is certainly the best and most singular that ever was publish'd and he that never read it may safely think he never in his Life read any thing that was pleasant Give it me Neighbour continu'd he for I 'm more glad to have found it than if any one had given me a Cassock of the best Florence-Prunella With that he laid it aside with extraordinary satisfaction and the Barbâ—â— went on These that follow cry d he are The Shepherd of Iberia The Nymphs of Enares and The Cure of Jealousy Take 'em Jaylor quoth the Curate and never ask me why for then wâ— shall ne're have done The next said the Barber is The Shepherd of Filida he 's no Shepherd return'd the Curate but a very discreet Courtiâ—â— keep him as a precious Jewel There 's a biggeâ— cry'd the Barber call'd The Treasure of divers Poems had there been less of 'em said the Curate they wou'd have been more esteem'd 'T is fit the Book shou'd be prun'd and clear'd of several trifles that disgrace the rest Keep it however because the Author is my Friend and for the sake of his other more heroic and lofty Productions Here 's a Book of Songs by Lopez Maldonado cry'd the Barber he 's also my particular Friend said the Curate his Verses are very well lik d when he reads em himself and his voice is so excellent that they charm us whenever he sings ' em He seems
pace that they might get thither in time and so they arriv'd just as the Bearers had set down the Bier upon the ground and four of 'em had began to open the ground with their Spades just at the foot of a Rock They all saluted each other courteously and condol'd their mutual loss and then Don Quixote with those who came with him went to view the Bier where they saw the Dead Body of a young man in Shepherds weeds all strew'd over with Flowers The Deceased seem'd to be about 30 years old and dead as he was 't was easily perceiv'd that both his Face and Shape were extraordinary handsome Wâ—â—hin the Bier were some few Books and several Papers some open and the rest folded up This doleful object so strangely fill'd all the Company with sadness that not only the Beholders but also the Grave-makers and all the Mourning Shepherds remain'd a long time silent till at last one of the Bearers addressing himself to one of the rest Look Ambrose cry'd he whether this be the place which Chrysostome meant since you must needs have his Will so punctually perform'd This is the very place answer'd the other There it was that my unhappy Friend many times told me the sad story of his cruel Fortune There it was that he first saw that mortal Enemy of Mankind There it was that he made the first Discovery of his Passion no less innocent than violent There it was that the relentless Marcella last deny'd shunn'd him and drove him to that extremity of Sorrow and Despair that hasten'd the sad Catastrophe of his Tragical and Miserable Life and There it was that in token of so many Misfortunes he desir'd to be committed to the Bowels of eternal Oblivion Then addressing himself to Don Quixote and the rest of the Travellers This Body Sirs said he which here you now behold was once enliven'd by a Soul which Heaven had enrich'd with the greatest part of its most wealthy Graces This is the Body of that Chrysostome who was unrivall'd in Wit matchless in Courteousness incomparable in Gracefulness a Phaenix in Friendship Generous and Magnificent without Ostentation Prudent and Grave without Pride Modest without Affectation Pleasing and Complaisant without Meanness In a word the first in every esteemable Qualification and second to none in Misfortune He lov'd well and was hated he ador'd and was disdain'd he begg'd Pity of Cruelty itself he strove to move obdurate Marble pursu'd the Wind made his moans to solitary Desarts was constant to Ingratitude and for the Recompence of his Fidelity became a prey to Death in the Flower of his Age thro the barbarity of a Sheperdess whom he strove to immortalize by his Verse as these Papers which are here deposited might testify had he not commanded me to sacrifice 'em to the Flames at the same time that his body was committed to the Earth Shou'd you do so cry'd Vivaldo you wou'd appear more cruel to 'em than their exasperated unhappy Parent Consider Sir 't is not consistent with Discretion nor even with Justice so nicely to perform the Request of the Dead when 't is repugnant with Reason Augustus Caesar himself wou'd have forfeited his Title to Wisdom had he permitted that to have been effected which the Divine Virgil had order'd by his Will Therefore Sir now that you resign your Friends Body to the Grave do not hurry thus the noble and only Remains of that dear unhappy man to a worse Fate the Death of Oblivion What tho he has doom'd 'em to perish in the height of his Resentment you ought not indiscreetly to be their Executioner But rather reprieve and redeem 'em from eternal silence that they may live and flying thro the World transmit to all ages the dismal story of your Friends Virtue and Marcella s Ingratitude as a warning to others that they may avoid such tempting Snares and enchanting Destructions Therefore in the name of all the company like me deeply affected with a sense of Chrysostome's extraordinary merit and his unhappy fate and desirous to prevent such deplorable disasters for the future I beg that you will permit me to save some of these Papers whatever you resolve to do with the rest And so without expecting an answer he stretch'd out his arm and took out those Papers which lay next to his hand Well Sir said Ambrose you have found a way to make me submit and you may keep those Papers but for the rest nothing shall make me alter my Resolution of burning ' em Vivaldo said no more but being impatient to see what those Papers were which he had rescu'd from the Flames he open'd one of 'em immediately and read the Title of it which was The Despairing Lover That said Ambrose was the first Piece my dear Friend ever wrote and therefore that you may all hear to what a sad condition his unhappy Passion had reduc'd him read it aloud I beseech you Sir while the Grave is making With all my heart reply'd Vivaldo And so the Company having the same Desire presently gather'd round about him and he read the following lines CHAP. VI. The unfortunate Shepherd's Verses and other unexpected matters The Despairing Lover RElentless Tyrant of my heart Attend and hear thy Slave impart The matchless Story of his Pain In vain I labour to conceal What my extorted groans reveal Who can be rack d and not complain But oh who duly can express Thy cruelty and my distress No humane Art no humane Tongue Then Fiends assist and Rage infuse A raving Fury be my Muse And Hell inspire the dismal Song Owls Ravens Terrors of the Night Wolves Monsters Fiends with dire affright Joyn your dread accents to my Moans Joyn howling Winds your sullen Noise Thou grumbling Thunder joyn thy Voice Mad Seas your Roar and Hell thy Groans Thou still I mourn in dreiry Caves To desart Rocks and silent Graves My loud complaints shall wander far Born by the Winds they shall survive By pitying Ecchoes kept alive And fill the World with my despair Love's deadly Cure is fierce Disdain Distracting Fear a dreadful Pain And Jealousy a Matchless Woe Absence is Death yet while it kills I live with all these mortal Ills Scorn'd jealous loath'd and absent too No Dawn of hope e're cheer'd my heart No pitying Ray e're sooth'd my smart All all the sweets of Life are gone Then come Despair and frantic Rage With instant Fate my Pains asswage And end a thousands Deaths by one But ev'n in Death let Love be crown'd My fair destruction guiltless found And I be thought with Justice scorn'd Thus let me fall unlov'd unblest With all my Load of Woes opprest And even too wretched to be mourn'd Oh! thou by whose destructive hate Im hurried to this doleful Fate When I 'm no more thy Pity spare I dread thy Tears Oh spare 'em then But oh I rave I was too vain My Death can never cost a Tear Tormented Souls on you I call Hear one
for his sufferings If I have deceiv'd any one let him complain If I have broke my promise to any one let him despair If I encourage any one let him presume If I entertain any one let him boast But let no man call me cruel nor murtherer till I either deceive break my promise encourage or entertain him Heaven has not yet been pleas'd to shew whether 't is its will I shou'd love by destiny and 't is vain to think I will ever do it by choice So let this general caution serve every one of those who make their addresses to me for private ends And if any one hereafter dyes on my account let not their Jealousy nor my Scorn or Hate be thought the cause of their death for she who never pretended to love cannot make any one jealous and a free and generous Declaration of our fix'd Resolution ought not to be accounted hate nor disdain In short let him that calls me a Tygress and a Basilisk avoid me as a dangerous Thing and let him that calls me ungrateful give over serving me I assure 'em I will never seek nor pursue ' em Therefore let none hereafter make it their business to disturb my ease nor strive to make me haâ—â—â—d among men the quiet I now enjoy which I am perswaded is not to be found with ' em I have wealth enough and the innocent conversation of the neighbouring Shepherdesles with the care of my Flocks help me to pass away my time without either coquetting with this man or practising Arts to ensnare that other My Thoughts are limited by these Mountains and if they wander further 't is only to admire the Beauty of Heaven and thus by steps to raise my Soul towards her original dwelling As soon as she had said this without expecting any answer she left the place and ran into the thickest of the adjoyning Wood leaving all that heard her charm'd with her Discretion as well as with her Beauty However so prevalent were the Charms of the latter that some of the Company who were desperately struck cou'd not forbear offering to follow her without being the least deterr'd by the solemn Protestations which they had heard her make that very moment But Don Quixote perceiving their design and believing he had now a fit opportunity to exert his Knight-Errantry Let no man cry'd he of what Quality or Condition soever presume to follow the fair Marcella under the penalty of incurring my furious indignation She has made it appear by undeniable Reasons that she was not guilty of Chrysostome's Death and has positively declar'd her firm resolution never to condescend to the desires of any of her Admirers For which reason instead of being importun'd and persecuted she ought to be esteem'd and honour d by all good men as being perhaps the only Woman in the World that ever liv'd with such a Virtuous Reserv'dness Now whether it were that Don Quixote's Threats terrify'd the amorous Shepherds or that Ambrose's Persuasion prevail'd with 'em to stay and see their Friend interr'd none of the Shepherds left the place till the Grave being made and the Papers burnt the Body was deposited into the Bosom of the Earth not without many Tears from all the assistants They cover'd the Grave with a great Stone till a Monument were made which Ambrose said he design'd to have set up there with the following Epitaph upon it Chrysostome's Epitaph HEre of a wrethed Swain The frozen Body 's laid Kill'd by the cold Disdain Of an ungrateful Maid Here first Love's Pow'r he try'd Here first his Pains exprest Here first he was deny'd Here first he chose to rest You who the Shepherd mourn From coy Marcella fly Who Chrysostome cou'd scorn May all Mankind destroy The Shepherds strew'd the Grave with many Flowers and Boughs and every one having condol'd a while with his Friend Ambrose they took their leaves of him and departed Vivaldo and his Friend did the like as did also Don Quixote who was not a person to forgot himself on such occasions He likewise bid adieu to the kind Goat-herds that had entertain'd him and to the two Travellers who desir'd him to go with 'em to Sivill assuring him there was no place in the world more fertile in Adventures every street and every corner there producing some Don Quixote return'd them thanks for their kind information but told 'em he neither wou'd nor ought to go to Sivill till he had clear'd all those Mountains of the Thieves and Robbers which he heard very much infested all those parts Thereupon the Travellers being unwilling to divert him from so pious a design took their leaves of him once more and pursu'd their Journey sufficiently supply'd with matter to discourse on from the story of Marcella and Chrysostome and Don Quixote's follies As for him he resolv'd to find out the Shepherdess Marcella if possible to offer her his service to protect her to the utmost of his power But he happen'd to be crost in his designs as you shall hear in the sequel of this true History For here ends the second Book THE Life and Atchievements Of the Renowned Don Quixote de la Mancha PART I. BOOK III. CHAP. I. Giving an account of Don Quixote's unfortunate Rencounter with certain Yanguesian Carriers THe Sage Cid Hamet Benengeli relates that when Don Quixote had taken his leave of all those that were at Chrysostome's Funeral he and his Squire went after Marcella into the Wood and having rang'd it above two hours without being able to find her they came at last to a Meadow whose springing Green water'd with a delightful and refreshing Rivulet invited or rather pleasingly forc'd em to alight and give way to the heat of the day which began to be very violent So leaving the Ass and Rozinante to graze at large they ransackt the Wallet and without Ceremony the Master and the Man fell to and fed lovingly on what they found Now Sancho had not taken care to tye up Rozinante knowing him to be a Horse of that Sobriety and Chastity that all the Mares in the Pastures of Cordona cou'd not have rais'd him to attempt an indecent thing But either Fortune or the Devil who seldom sleeps so order'd it that a good number of Galician Mares belonging to some Yanguesian Carriers were then feeding in the same Valley it being the custom of those Men about the hottest time of the day to stop where-ever they meet with Grass and Water to refresh their Horses Nor cou'd they have found a fitter place than that where Don Quixote was Rozinante as I said before was chaste and modest however he was flesh and blood so that assoon as he had smelt the Mares forsaking his natural Gravity and Reserv'dness without asking his Masters leave away he trots it briskly to make 'em sensible of his little necessities But they who it seems had more mind to feed than to be merry receiv'd their Gallant so rudely with their heels and
Footmen that belong'd to the Company gave Don Quixote ill Language which so incens'd him that being resolv'd to be reveng'd upon 'em all in a mighty Rage he flew at the next he met who happen'd to be one of the Mourners Him he threw to the Ground very much hurt and then turning to the rest with a wonderful Agility he fell upon 'em with such a Fury that he presently put 'em all to Flight you wou'd have thought Rozinante had Wings at that Time so active and so fierce he then approv'd himself It was not indeed for Men unarm'd and naturally fearful to maintain the Field against such an Enemy no wonder then if the Gentlemen in White were immediately dispers'd some ran one way some another crossing the Plain with their lighted Torches you wou'd now have taken 'em for a parcel of Frolicksome Masqueraders gamboling and scouring on a Carnaval-Night As for the Mourners they poor Men were so muffled up in their long combersome Clokes that not being able to make their Party good nor defend themselves they were presently routed and ran away like the rest The rather for that they thought 't was no mortal Creature but the Devil himself that was come to fetch away the dead Body which they were accompanying to the Grave All the while Sancho was lost in Admiration and Astonishment charm'd with the Sight of his Master's Valour and now concluded him to be the formidable Champion he boasted himself After this the Knight by the Light of a Torch that lay burning on the Ground perceiving the Man who was thrown by his Mule lying near it he rode up to him and setting his Lance to his Throat Yield cry'd he and beg thy Life or thou dy'st Alas Sir cry'd t'other what need you ask me to yield I am not able to stir for one of my Legs is broken And I beseech you if you 're a Christian do not kill me I am in Holy Orders and a Master of Arts 't wou'd be a heinous Sacriledge to take away my Life What a Devil brought you hither then if you 're a Clergy-man cry'd Don Quixote What else but my ill Fortune reply'd the Supplicant A worse hovers o'er thy Head cry'd Don Quixote and threatens thee if thou do'st not answer this moment to every particular Question I ask I will I will Sir reply'd the other and first I must beg your Pardon for saying I was a Master of Arts for I have yet taken but Batchelor's Degree My Name 's Alonso Lopez I 'm of Alcovendas and came now from the Town of Baeca with eleven other Clergy-men the same that now ran away with the Torches We were going to Segovia to bury the Corps of a Gentleman of that Town who dy'd at Baeca and lies now in yonder Herse And who kill'd him ask'd Don Quixote Heaven with a Pestilential Fever answer'd the other If it be so said Don Quixote I am discharg'd of revenging his Death Since Heav'n did it there 's no more to be said had it been its Pleasure to have taken me off so I too must have submitted as I do All I have now to tell you Reverend Sir is that I am a Knight of La Mancha my Name Don Quixote my Employment is to visit all Parts of the World in quest of Adventures to right and relieve injur'd Innocence and punish Oppression Truly Sir reply'd the inferior Levite I don't understand how you can call that to right and relieve Men when you break their Legs You 've made that crooked that was right and strait before and Heaven knows whether it can ever be set right as long as I live Instead of relieving the Injur'd I fear you 've now injur'd me past Relief and while you seek Adventures you 've made me meet with a very great Misadventure All Things reply'd Don Quixote are not blest alike with a prosperous Event good Mr. Batchelor You shou'd have taken Care not to have thus gone a Processioning in these Desolate Plains at this suspicious Time of Night with your white Surplices burning Torches and Sable Weeds like Ghosts and Goblins that went about to scare People out of their Wits For I cou'd not omit doing the Duty of my Profession nor wou'd I have forborn attacking you tho' you had really been all Lucifer's infernal Crew for such I took you to be and till this moment cou'd have no better Opinion of you Well Sir said the Batchelor since 't is my hard Fortune I must only desire you as you 're a Knight-Errant and a Reliever of the Oppress'd to help me to get from under my Mule for it lies so heavy on me that I can't get my Foot out of the Stirrup Why did not you acquaint me sooner with your Grievance cry'd Don Quixote I might have talk'd on till to Morrow Morning and never have thought on 't With that he call'd Sancho who made no great haste for he was much better employ'd rifling a Load of choice Provision which the Holy Men carry'd along with 'em on a Sumpter Mule He had spread his Coat on the Ground and having laid on it as much Food as it wou'd hold he wrapt it up like a Bag and laid the precious Booty on his Ass and then away he ran to his Master and help'd him to set the Batchelor upon his Mule After which he gave him his Torch and Don Quixote bid him follow his Company and excuse him for his Mistake tho' all Things consider'd he cou'd not avoid doing what he had done And Sir quoth Sancho if the Gentleman wou'd know who 't was that so well thresh'd their Jackets you may tell 'em 't was the famous Don Quixote de la Mancha otherwise call'd the Knight of the Woful Countenance When the Batchelor was gone Don Quixote ask'd Sancho why he call'd him the Knight of the Woful Countenance I 'll tell you why quoth Sancho I have been staring upon you this pretty while by the Light of that unlucky Priest's Torch and may I ne'er stir if e'er I sat Eyes on a more Woful Phiz in my born Days and I can't tell what shou'd be the Cause on 't unless your being tir'd after this Fray or the want of your Worship's Teeth This is not the Reason cry'd Don Quixote No Sancho I rather conjecture that the Sage who is commissioned by Fate to register my Atchievements thought it convenient I shou'd assume a new Appellation as all the Knights of yore For one was call'd The Knight of the Burning Sword another of the Unicorn a third of the Phoenix a fourth the Knight of the Damsels another of the Gryphon and another the Knight of Death By which By-names and Distinctions they were known all over the Globe Therefore doubtless that Learned Inchanter my Historian has inspir'd thee with the Thought of giving me that additional Appellation of the Knight of the Woful Countenance And accordingly I arrogate the Name and intend henceforwards to be distinguish'd by that awful Denomination
Love and Fortune are my Foes III. Where shall I find a speedy Cure Death is a sure No milder Means to set me free Inconstancy Can nothing else my Pains assuage Distracting Rage What dye or change Lucinda lose O let me rather Madness chuse But judg ye Gods what we endure When Death or Madness are a Cure The Time the Hour the solitariness of the Place the Voice and agreeable manner with which the unseen Musician sung so fill'd the Hearers Minds with Wonder and Delight that they were all attention and when the Voice was silent they continued so too a pretty while watching with list'ning Ears to catch the expected Sounds and expressing their satisfaction best by that dumb Applause At last suspecting it wou'd sing no more they resolv'd to find out the charming Songster but as they were going to attempt it they heard the wish'd for Voice begin another Air which fix'd 'em where they stood till it had sung the following Sonnet A SONNET O Sacred Friendship Heaven's Delight Which tir'd with Man's unequal Mind Took to thy Native Skies thy Flight While scarce thy Shadow 's left behind From thee diffusive Good below Peace and her Train of Joys we trace But Falshood with dissembled show Too oft usurps thy sacred Face Blest Genius then resume thy Seat Destroy Imposture and Deceit Which in thy Dress confound the Ball Harmonious Peace and Truth renew Show the false Friendship from the true Or Nature must to Chaos fall This Sonnet concluded with a deep Sigh and such â—oleful Throbs that the Curate and the Barber now out of Pity as well as Curiosity before resolv'd instantly to find out who this mournful Songsâ—er was They had not gon far when by the side of a Rock they discover'd a Man whose Shape and Aspect answer'd exactly to the Description which Sancho had given 'em of Cardenio They observ'd that he stop'd short as soon as he spy'd 'em yet without any signs of fear only he hung down his â—â—ad like one abandon'd to Sorrow never so much aâ— lifting up his Eyes to mind what they did The Curate who was a good and a well spoken Man â—â—esently guessing him to be the same of whom Sancho had given them an account went towards him and addressing himself to him with great Civility and Discretion earnestly intreated him tâ— forsake this Desert and a course of Life so wretched and forlorn which endanger'd his Title to a better and from a wilful Misery might make him fall into greater and everlasting Woes Cardenio was then free from the Distraction that so often disturb'd his Senses yet seeing two Persons in a Garb wholly different from that of those few Rusticks who frequented these Desarts and hearing 'em talk as if they were no Strangers to his Concerns he was somewhat surpris'd at first however having look'd upon 'em earnestly for some time Gentlemen said he whoever ye be I find Heaven pitying my Misfortunes has brought ye to these Solitary Regions to retrieve me from this afrightful Retirement and recover me to the Society of Men. But because you do not know how unhappy a Fate attends me and that I never am freed from one Affliction but to fall into a greater you perhaps take me for a Man naturally endow'd with a very small stock of Sense and what 's worse for one of those Wretches who are altogether depriv'd of Reason and indeed I cannot blame any one that entertains such thoughts of me for even I my self am convinc'd that the bare remembrance of my Disasters often distracts me to that degree that losing all Sense of Reason and Knowledg I unman my self for the time and launch into those Extravagances which nothing but the height of Frenzy and Madness wou'd commit And I am the more sensible of my being troubled with this Distemper when People tell me what I have done during the Violence of that terrible Accident and give me too certaâ—â— Proofs of it And after all I can alledg no othâ—â— Excuse but the Cause of my Misfortune which oâ—casion'd that frantick Rage and therefore tell the story of my hard Fate to as many as have the patience to hear it for Men of Sense perceiving the Cause will not wonder at the Effects and tho' they can give me no Relief yet at least they will cease to condemn me for a bare Relation of my Wrongs must needs make 'em lose their Resentments of the Effects of my Disorder into a Compassion of my miserable Fate Therefore Gentlemen if you come here with that design I beg that before you give your selves the trouble of reproving or advising me you will be pleased to attend to the Relation of my Calamities For perhaps when you 've heard it you will think 'em past Redress and so will save your selves the labour you wou'd take The Curate and the Barber who desir'd nothing more than to hear the Story from his own Mouth were extremely glad of his Proffer and having assur'd him they had no design to aggravate his Miseries with pretending to remedy 'em nor wou'd they cross his Inclinations in the least they entreated him to begin his Relation The unfortunate Cardenio then began his Story and went on with the first part of it almost in the same Words as far as when he related it to Don Quixote and the Goatherd when the Knight out of his superstitious Niceness to observe the Decorum of Chivalry gave an Interruption to the Relation by quarrelling about Master Elizabat as we have already said Then he went on with that Passage concerning the Letter sent him by Lucinda which Don Ferdinand had unluckily found happening to be by and to open the Book of Amadis de Gâ—ule first when Lucinda sent it back to Cardenio with that Letter in it between the Leaves which Cardenio told 'em was as follows Lucinda to Cardenio I discover in you every Day so much Merit that I am oblig'd or rather forc'd to esteem you more and more If you think this Acknowledgment to your Advantage make that use of it which is most consistent with your Honour and mine I have a Father that knows you and is too kind a Parent ever to obstruct my Designs when he shall be satisfied with their being just and honourable So that 't is now your part to show you love me as you pretend and I believe This Letter continued Cardenio made me resolve once more to demand Lucinda of her Father in Marriage and was the same that encreas'd Don Ferdinand's Esteem for her by that discovery of her Sense and Discretion which so enflam'd his Soul that from that Moment he secretly resolv'd to destroy my Hopes e're I cou'd be so happy as to crown 'em with Success I told that perfidious Friend what Lucinda's Father had advis'd me to do when I rashly had ask'd her for my Wife before and that I durst not now impart this to my Father left he shou'd not willingly consent I shou'd marry yet Not
and the Sea Ports which occasion'd the Blunder she had made by saying that she landed at Ossuna I perceiv'd it reply'd the Curare and therefore I put in what you heard which brought matters to rights again But is it not an amazing thing to see how ready this unfortunate Gentleman is to give credit to these fictitious Reports only because they have the Air of the extravagant Stories in Books of Knight-Errantry Cardenio said that he thought this so strange a Madness that he did not believe the Wit of Man cou'd devise any thing like it shou'd any one ever start the thought of such another The Gentleman reply'd the Curate has some Qualities in him ev'n as surprizing in a Madman as his unparallel'd Frenzy For take him but off from his Romantick Humour to discourse with him of any other Subject you will find him to handle it with a great deal of Reason and shew himself by his Conversation to have very clear and entertaining Conceptions Insomuch that if Knight-Errantry bears no relation to his Discourse there is no Man but will esteem him for his vivacity of Wit and strength of Judgment While they were thus discoursing Don Quixote prosecuting his Converse with his Squire Sancho said he let us lay aside all manner of Animosity and tell me as speedily as thou canst without any remains of thy last displeasure how when and where didst thou find my Lady Dulcinea What was she doing when thou first pay'st thy respects to her How didst thou express thy self to her What Answer was she pleas'd to make thee What Countenance did she put on at the perusal of my Letter Who transcrib'd it fairly for thee and every thing else which has any relation to this Affair without Addition Lies or Flattery On the other side take care thou losest not a Tittle of the whole matter by abbreviating it lest thou rob me of part of that delight which I propose to my self from it Sir answer'd Sancho if I must speak the truth and nothing but the truth no body copy'd out the Letter for me for I carry'd none at all That 's right cry'd Don Quixote for I found the Pocket-Book in which it was written two days after thy departure which occasion'd exceeding grief in me because I knew not what thou couldst do when thou found'st thy self without the Letter and I could not but be induc'd to believe that thou wouldst have return'd in order to take it with Thee I had certainly done so reply'd Sancho were it not for this Head of mine which kept it in Remembrance ever since your Worship read it to me and help'd me to say it over to a Parish-Clerk who writ it out for me word for word so purely that he swore tho' he had written out many a Letter of Excommunication in his time he never in all the days of his life had read or seen any thing so well spoken as it was And dost thou still retain the Memory of it my dear Sancho cry'd Don Quixote Not I quoth Sancho for as soon as I had giv'n it her and your turn was serv'd I was very willing to forget it But if I remember any thing 't is what was on the top and it was thus High and Subterrene I would say Soveraign Lady and at the bottom Yours untill Death The Knight of the Woful Figure and I put between these two things three hundred Souls and Lives and Pigsnyes CHAP. IV. The pleasant Dialogue between Don Quixote and his Squire continu'd with other Adventures ALL this is mighty well said Don Quixote proceed therefore You arriv'd and how was that Queen of Beauty then employ'd On my Conscience thou found'st her stringing of Orient Pearls or imbroideing some curious Device in Gold for me her Captive Knight was it not so my Sancho No faith answer'd the Squire I found her winnowing a parcel of Wheat very seriously in the back Yard Then said the Don you may rest assur'd that every Corn of that Wheat was a Grain of Pearl since she did it the honour of touching it with her Divine Hand Didst thou observe the quality of the Wheat was it not of the finest sort Very indifferent I thought said the Squire Well this it least you must allow it must make the finest whitest Bread if sifted by her white Hands but go on when you deliver'd my Letter did she kiss it Did she treasure it in her Bosom or what Ceremony did she use worthy such a Letter How did she behave her self Why truly Sir answer'd Sancho when I offer'd her the Letter she was very busy handling her Sieve and prithee honest Friend said she do so much as lay that Letter down upon the Sack there I can't read it till I have winnow'd out what 's in my hands O unparallel'd Discretion cry'd Don Quixote she knew that a Perusal requir'd leisure and therefore deferr'd it for her more pleasing and private Hours But on my Squire while she was thus employ'd what Conferences past what did she ask about her Knight and what did you reply Say all say all my dearest Sancho let not the smallest Circumstance scape thy Tongue speak all that Thought can frame or Pen describe Her Questions were easily answer'd Sir said Sancho for she ask'd me none at all I told her indeed in what a sad pickle I had left you for her sake naked to the Waste that you eat and slept like the Brute Beasts that you wou'd let a Rasor as soon touch your Throat as your Beard that you were still blubbering and crying or swearing and cursing your Fortune There you mistook reply'd Don Quixote I rather bless my Fortune and always shall while Life affords me Breath since I am thought to merit the esteem of so high a Lady as Dulcinea del Toboso There you hit it said Sancho she is a high Lady indeed Sir for she 's taller than I am by a Foot and a half Why how now Sancho said the Knight hast thou measur'd thy length with her Ay marry did I Sir said the Squire for you must know that she desir'd me to lend her a hand in lifting a Sack of Wheat on an Ass so we buckl'd about it and I came so close to her that I found she was taller than I by a full span at least Right answered Don Quixote but thou art also conscious that the uncommon Stature of her Person is adorn'd with innumerable Graces and Endowments of Soul but Sancho when you approach'd the charming She did not an Aromatick Smell strike thy Sense a Scent so Odoriferous pleasing and sweet as I want a Name for it sweet as you understand me as the richest Fragrancy diffus'd around a Perfumer's Magazine of Odours this at least you must grant me I did indeed feel a sort of Scent a little unsavory said Sancho somewhat vigorous or so for I suppose she had wrought hard and sweat somewhat plentifully 'T is false answer'd the Knight thy smelling has been debauch'd
usually does make a Man happy I live the most discontented life in the World I am not able to tell you when my Misery began which now inwardly torments me with so strange extravagant and singular a Desire that I never reflect on it but I wonder at my self and condemn and curb my Folly and would fain hide my Desires even from my self And yet I have receiv'd no more advantage from this private Confusion then if I had publish'd my Extravagance to all the World Since therefore 't is evident that it will at last break out dear Lothario I would have it go no farther than thy known Fidelity and Secresy for that and my own Industry which as my Friend thou wilt turn to my Assistance will quickly I hope free me from the Anguish it now gives me and restore me that Tranquility of which my own Folly has now depriv'd me Lothario stood in great suspense unable to guess at the Consequence of so strange and prolix an Introduction In vain he rack'd his Imagination for the Causes of his Friend's Affliction the Truth was the last thing he could think of but no longer to remain in doubt he told Anselmo that he did his Friendship a particular Injury in not coming directly to the Point in the discovery of his Thoughts to him since his Counsels might enable him to support and perhaps to lose or compass such importunate Desires 'T is very true reply'd Anselmo and with that Assurance I must inform you that the Desire that gives me so much Pain is to know whether Camilla be really as Virtuous as I think her Nor can this be made evident but by such a Trial that like Gold by the Fire the Standard and Degree of her Worth be discover'd For in my Opinion no Woman has more Virtue than she retains after the force of the most earnest Solicitations Casta est quam nemo rogavit And she only may be said to be Chaste who has withstood the Force of Tears Vows Promises Gifts and all the Importunities of a Lover that is not easily deny'd For where 's the Praise of a Woman's Virtue whom no Body has ever endeavour'd to corrupt Where is the Wonder if a Wife be Reserv'd when she has no Temptation nor Opportunity of being otherwise especially if she have a jealous Husband with whom the least Suspicion goes for a Reality and who therefore punishes the least Appearances with Death Now I can never so much esteem her who owes her Virtue merely to Fear or want of Opportunity of being False as I would one who Victoriously surmounts all the Assaults of a vigorous and watchful Lover and yet retains her Virtue intire and unshaken These and many others Reason which I could urge to strengthen my Opinion make me desire that my Camilla's Virtue may pass through the fiery Trial of vigorous Solicitations and Addresses and these offer'd by a Gallant who may have Merit enough to deserve her good Opinion and if as I am confident she will she be able to resist so agreeable a Temptation I shall think my self the most happy Man in the World and attain to the height and utmost aim of my Desires and shall say that a Virtuous Woman is fallen to my Lot of whom the Wise Man says Who can find her If she yields I shall at least have the Satisfaction of finding my Opinion of Women justify'd and not be impos'd on by a foolish Confidence that abuses most Men which Consideration will be sufficient to make me support the Grief I shall derive from so expensive an Experiment And assuring my self that nothing which you can say can disswade me from my Resolution I desire that you your self my dear Friend would be the Person to put my Design in Execution I will furnish you with Opportunities enough of making your Addresses in which I would have you omit nothing you may suppose likely to prevail and mollify a Woman of Quality without Passion and reserv'd and discreet by Nature The most prevailing Reason that makes me choose you for this Affair above all others is because if she should prove so frail as to be overcome by Address and Importunities the Victory will not cost me so dear since I am secur'd from your taking that Advantage of which another might make no Scruple And so my Honour will remain untouch'd and the intended Injury a Secret in the Virtue of thy Silence for I know my Friend so well that Death and the Grave will as soon divulge my Affairs Wherefore if you would give me Life indeed and deliver me from the most perplexing Torment of Doubt you will immediately begin this Amorous Assault with all that Vigour Assiduity and Courage I expect from that Confidence I put in your Friendship Lothario gave so great an Attention to Anselmo's Reasons that he gave him no other Interruption than what we mention'd But now finding his Discourse was at an end full of Amazement at the Extravagance of the Proposal he thus reply'd Could I my dear Anselmo perswade my self that what you have said were any more than a piece of Raillery I should not have been so long silent no I should have interrupted you at the beginning of your Speech Sure you know neither your self nor me Anselmo or you would never have employ'd me in such an Affair if you had not thought me as much alter'd from what I was as you seem to be for as the Poet has it usque ad aras A true Friend ought to desire nothing of his Friend that is offensive to Heaven But should a Man so far exert his Friendship as to deviate a little from the Severity of Religion in Complaisance to his Friend no trifling Motive can excuse the Transgression and only his Honour and Life can make any tolerable Apology Which therefore of these Anselmo is in danger to warrant my undertaking so detestable a thing as you desire Neither I dare engage On the contrary you would make me the Assaultter of both in which my own is included for to rob you of your Reputation is to take away your Life since an Infamous Life is worse than Death and by making me the guilty Instrument of this as you would have me you make me worse than a dead Man by the Murder of my Reputation Therefore I desire you would hear with Patience what I have to urge against your extravagant Desire and I shall afterwards hear your Reply without Interrpution Anselmo having promis'd his Attention Lothario proceeded in this manner In my Opinion you are not unlike the Moors who are incapable of being convinc'd of the Error of their Religion by Scripture speculative Reasons or those drawn immediately from the Articles of our Faith and will yield to nothing but Demonstrations as evident as those of the Mathematicks and which can as little be deny'd as when we say If from two equal Parts we take away two equal Parts the Parts that remain are also equal And when
to him from that time forward to set in good Earnest about the Matter and that so effectually that he himself if he wou'd again give himself the trouble of observing him should find proof enough of his Sincerity Anselmo believ'd him and to give him the better opportunity he engag'd a Friend of his to send for him with a great deal of Importunity to come to his House at a Village near the City where he meant to spend eight Days to take away all Apprehension and Fear from both his Friend and his Wife Was ever Man so unhappy as Anselmo who industriously contriv'd the Plot of his own Ruine and Dishonour He had a very good Wife and possess'd her in Quiet without any other Man's mingling in his Pleasures her Thoughts were bounded with her own House and her Husband the only Earthly Good she hop'd or thought on and her only Pleasure and Desire his Will the Rule of her's and measure of her Conduct When he possess'd Love Honour Beauty and Discretion without Pain or Toil what shou'd provoke him to seek with so much danger and hazard of what he had already that which was not to be found in Nature He that aims at things impossible ought justly to lose those Advantages which are within the Bounds of Possibility as the Poet sings I. In Death I seek for Life In a Disease for Health For Quietness in Strife In Poverty for Wealth And constant Truth in an inconstant Wise II. But sure the Fates disdain My mad Desires to please Nor shall I e'er obtain What others get with Ease Since I demand what no Man e'er cou'd gain The next Day Anselmo went out of Town having first inform'd Camilla that his Friend Lothario would look after his Affairs and keep her Company in his Absence and desir'd her to make as much of him as of himself His Lady like a discreet Women begg'd him to consider how improper a thing it was for any other to take his Place in his Absence and told him that if he doubted her Ability in managing her House he should try her but this time and she question'd not but he would find she had Capacity to acquit her self to his satisfaction in greater Matters Anselmo reply'd that it was her Duty not to dispute but obey his Command To which she return'd that she would comply tho' much against her Will. In short her Husband left the Town Lothario the next Day was receiv'd at her House with all the respect that could be paid a Friend so dear to her Husband but yet with so much Caution that she never permitted her self to be left alone with him but kept perpetually some of her Maids in the Room and chiefly Leonela for whom she had a particular Love as having been bred in her Father's House with her from her Infancy Lothario said nothing to her the three first Days notwithstanding he might have found an opportunity when the Servants were gone to Dinner for tho' the prudent Camilla had order'd Leonela to dine before her that she might have no occasion to go out of the Room yet she who had other Affairs to employ her thoughts more agreeably to her Inclinations to gratify which that was usually the only convenient time she could find was not so very punctually obedient to her Lady's Commands but that she sometimes left them together Lothario did not yet make use of these advantages as I have said being aw'd by the Virtue and Modesty of Camilla But this silence which she thus impos'd on Lothario had at last a quite contrary Effect For tho' he said nothing his Thoughts were active his Eyes were employed to see and survey the outward Charms of a Form so perfect that 't was enough to fire the most cold and soften the most obdurate Heart In these Intervals of silence he consider'd how much she deserv'd to be belov'd and these Considerations by little and little undermin'd and assaulted the Faith which he ow'd to his Friend A thousand times he resolv'd to leave the City and retire where Anselmo should never see him and where he shou'd never more behold the dangerous Face of Camilla but the extream Pleasure he found in seeing her soon destroy'd so feeble a Resolve When he was alone he wou'd accuse his want of Friendship and Religion and run into frequent Comparisons betwixt himself and Anselmo which generally concluded that Anselmo's Folly and Madness was greater than hit Infidelity and that wou'd Heaven as easily excuse his Intentions as Man he had no cause to fear any Punishment for the Crime he was going to commit In fine Camilla's Beauty and the opportunity given him by the Husband himself wholly vanquish'd his Faith and Friendship And now having an Eye only to the means of obtaining that Pleasure to which he was prompted with so much Violence after he had spent the three first Days of Anselmo's Absence in a conflict betwixt Love and Virtue he attempted by all means possible to prevail with Camilla and discover'd so much Passion in his Words and Actions that Camilla surpriz'd with the unexpected Assault flung from him out of the Room and retir'd with haste to her Chamber Hope is always born with Love nor did this Repulse in the least discourage Lothario from farther Attempts on Camilla who by this appear'd more charming and more worthy his Pursuit She on the other hand knew not what to do upon the discovery of that in Lothario which she never cou'd have imagin'd The Result of her Reflections was this that since she cou'd not give him any opportunity of speaking to her again without the hazard of her Reputation and Honour she wou'd send a Letter to her Husband to sollicit his Return to his House The Letter she sent by a Messenger that very Night and it was to this purpose CHAP. VII In which the History of the Curious Impertinent is pursu'd AS 't is very improper to leave an Army without a General and a Garrison without a Governour so to me it seems much more imprudent to leave a young marry'd Woman without her Husband especially when there are no Affairs of Consequence to plead for his Absence I find my self so all in your's and so impatient and unable to endure it any longer that if you come not home very quickly I shall be oblig'd to return to my Father's tho' I leave your House without any one to look after it For the Person to whom you have entrusted the Care of your Family has I believe more Regard to his own Pleasure than your Concerns You are wise and prudent and therefore I shall say no more nor is it convenient I shou'd Anselmo was not a little satisfy'd at the Receipt of this Letter which assur'd him that Lothario had begun the Attempt which she had repell'd according to his Hopes and therefore he sent her Word not to leave his House assuring her it shou'd not be long before he return'd Camilla was surpriz'd with
Verses he had made on his beloved Cloris telling him he might say any thing of her before Camilla since she did not know who the Lady was Did Camilla know her reply'd Lothario that should not make me pass over in Silence my Part of that Praise which was her Due or if a Lover complains of his Mistress's Cruelty while he is praising her Perfections she can never suffer in her Reputation Therefore without any Fear I shall repeat a Sonnet which I made Yesterday on the Ingratitude of Cloris A SONNET AT Dead of Night when ev'ry troubl'd Breast By balmy Sleep is eas'd of anxious Pain When Slaves themselves in pleasing Dreams are blest Of Heaven and Cloris restless I complain The rosy Morn dispells the Shades of Night The Sun the Pleasures and the Day return All Nature 's cheer'd with the reviving Light I only I can never cease to mourn At Noon in vain I bid my Sorrow cease The Heat encreases and my Pains encrease And still my Soul in the mild Ev'ning grieves The Night returns and my Complaints renew No Moment sees me free in vain I sue Heav'n ne'er relents and Cloris ne'er relieves Camilla was mightily pleas'd with the Sonnet but Anselmo transported he was lavish of his Commendation and added that the Lady must be barbarously cruel that made no Return to so much Truth and so violent a Passion What must we then believe all that a Poet in Love tells us for Truth said Camilla Madam reply'd Lothario tho' the Poet may exceed yet the Lover corrects his Fondness for Fiction and makes him speak Truth Anselmo to advance Lothario's Credit with Camilla confirm'd whatever he said but she not minding her Husband's Confirmations was sufficiently perswaded by her Passion for Lothario to an implicit Faith in all he said and therefore pleas'd with this Composition and more satisfy'd in the Knowledge she had that all was address'd to her self as the true Cloris she desir'd him to repeat some other Verses he had made on that Subject if he could remember any I remember some reply'd Lothario but Madam in my Opinion they are not so tolerable as the former but you shall be Judge your self A SONNET I. I Die your Victim cruel Fair And die without Reprieve If you can think your Slave can bear Your Cruelty and live II. Since all my Hopes of Ease are vain To die I now submit And that you may not think I feign It must be at your Feet III. Yet when my bleeding Heart you view Bright Nymph forbear to grieve For I had rather die for you Than for another live IV. In Death and dark Oblivion's Grave Oh! let me lie forlorn For my poor Ghost wou'd pine and rave Shou'd you relent and mourn Anselmo was not less profuse in his Praise of this Sonnet than he had been of the other and so added new Fuel to that Fire that was to consume his Reputation He contributed to his own Abuse in commending his false Friend's Attempts on his Honour as the most important Service he could do it and this made him believe that every Step Camilla made down to Contempt and Disgrace was a Degree she mounted toward that Perfection of Virtue which he desir'd she should attain Some Time after Camilla being alone with her Maid I am asham'd said she my Leonela that I gave Lothario so easy a Conquest over me and did not know my own Worth enough to make him undergo some greater Fatigues before I made so entire a Surrender I am afraid he will think my hasty Consent the Effect of the Loosness of my Temper and not at all consider that the Force and Violence he us'd depriv'd me of the Power of resisting Ah! Madam return'd Leonela let not that disquiet you for the speedy bestowing a Benefit of an intrinsick Value and which you design to bestow at last can never lessen the Favour for according to the old Proverb He that gives quickly gives twice To answer your Proverb with another reply'd Camilla That which costs little is less valu'd But this has nothing to do with you answer'd Leonela since 't is said of Love that it sometimes goes sometimes flies runs with one walks gravely with another turns a third into Ice and sets a fourth in a Flame It wounds one another it kills like Lightning it begins and ends in the same Moment It makes that Fort yield at Night which it besieg'd but in the Morning for there is no Force able to resist it Since this is evident what Cause have you to be surprized at your own Frailty And why should you apprehend any thing from Lothario who has felt the same irresistible Power and yielded to it as soon For Love to gain a Conquest took the short Opportunity of my Lord's Absence which being so short and uncertain Love that had before determin'd this shou'd be done added Force and Vigour to the Lover not to leave any thing to Time and Chance which might by Anselmo's Return cut off all Opportunities of accomplishing so agreeable a Work The best and most officious Servant of Love's Retinue is Occasion or Opportunity This it is that Love improves in all its Progress but most in the Beginning and first Rise of an Amour I trust not in what I have said to the Uncertainty of Report but to Experience which affords the most certain and most valuable Knowledge as I will inform you Madam some Day or other for I am like you made of frail Flesh and Blood fir'd by Youth and youthful Desires But Madam you did not surrender to Lothario till you had sufficient Proof of his Love from his Eyes his Vows his Promises and Gifts till you had seen the Merit of his Person and the Beauty of his Mind all which convinc'd you how much he deserv'd to be lov'd Then trouble your self no more Madam with these Fears and Jealousies but thank your Stars that since you were doom'd a Victim to Love you fell by the Force of such Valour and Merit that cannot be doubted You yielded to one who has not only the four S's which are requir'd in every good Lover but even the whole Alphabet as for Example he is in my Opinion Agreeable Bountiful Constant Dutiful Easy Faithful Gallant Honourable Ingenious Kind Loyal Mild Noble Officious Prudent Quiet Rich Secret True Valiant Wise the X indeed is too harsh a Letter to agree with him he is Young and Zealous for your Honour and Service Camilla laugh'd at her Woman's Alphabet and thought her as indeed she was more learn'd in the practical Part of Love than she had confess'd She then inform'd her Mistress of an Affair that had been betwixt her and a young Man of the Town Camilla was not a little concern'd at what she said being apprehensive that her Honour might suffer by her Woman's Indiscretion and therefore ask'd her if the Amour had pass'd any farther than Words Leonela without any Fear or Shame own'd her guilty Correspondence with
be witness of her Weakness He ask'd her Pardon for the Folly and her Counsel how to redress and prevent the ill Effect of it and bring them out of those Difficulties into which his Madness had plung'd them Camilla express'd her Resentment and her Fears in accusing his Treachey Baseness and want of Consideration yet her Anger and Fears being appeas'd and a Woman's wit being always more pregnant in Difficulties than a Man's she immediately thought of a way to deliver them from Dangers that bore so dismal and helpless a Face She therefore bid him engage Anselmo to be there the next Day assuring him she did not question but by that means to get a more frequent and secure Opportunity of enjoying one another than they hitherto ever had She would not make him privy to her whole Design but bid him be sure to come after her Husband was hid as soon as Leonela shou'd call him and that he should answer as directly to whatsoever she should ask him as if Anselmo were not within hearing Lothario spar'd no Importunity to get from her her whole Design that he might Act his Part with the greater Assurance and the better contribute to the Imposing on her Husband All you have to do reply'd Camilla is to answer me directly what I shall demand nor would she discover any more for fear he should not acquiesce in her Opinion which she was so well satisfy'd in but raise Difficulties and by Consequence Obstacles that might hinder her Design from having the desir'd Event or run her upon some less successful Project Lothario comply'd and Anselmo in appearance left the Town to retire to his Friend in the Country but secretly return'd to hide himself in the Wardrobe which he did with the greater Ease because Camilla and Leonela wilfully gave him opportunity We may easily imagine the Grief with which Anselmo hid himself since it was to be a Spectator of his own Dishonour and the loss of all that Happiness he possess'd in the Embraces of his beautiful and belov'd Camilla On the other hand she being now certain that Anselmo was hid enter'd the Wardrobe with Leonela and fetching a deep and piteous Sight thus address'd her self to her Ah! my Leonela would it not be much better that thou pierce this infamous Bosom with Anselmo's Dagger before I Execute what I design which I have kept from thee that thou might'st not endeavour to disappoint me Yet not so for where is the Justice that I should suffer for another's Offence No I will first know of Lothario what Action of mine has given him assurance to make me a discovery of a Passion so injurious to his Friend and my Honour Go to the Window Leonela and call the wicked Man to me who doubtless is waiting in the Street the Signal for his Admission to accomplish his Villanous Design yet first my Resolution shall be performed which tho' it be cruel is what my Honour strictly demands of me Alas my dear Lady cry'd the cunning Leonela alass What do you intend to do with that Dagger Is your fatal Design against your self or Lothario Alass you can Attack neither without the Ruin of your Fame and Reputation You had better give no Opportunity to that bad Man by admitting him while we are thus alone in the House Consider Madam we are but two weak and helpless Women he a strong and resolute Man whose Force is redoubl'd by the Passion and Desire that possess him so that before you may be able to accomplish what you design he may commit a Crime that will be more injurious to you than the loss of your Life We have reason to curse my Master Anselmo who gives such frequent Opportunites to Impudence and Dishonesty to pollute our House But Madam suppose you should kill him as I believe you design what shall we do with his dead Body What! said Camilla why we would leave him in this place to be bury'd by Anselmo for it must be a grateful Trouble to him to bury with his own Hand his own Infamy and Dishonour Call him therefore quickly for methinks every Moment my Revenge is deferr'd I Injure that Loyalty I owe to my Husband Anselmo gave great attention to all that was said and every Word of Camilla's made a strange alteration in his Sentiments so that he could scarce forbear coming out to prevent his Friend's Death when he heard her desperate Resolution against his Life but his desire of seeing the end of so brave a Resolve with-held him till he saw an absolute necessity of discovering himself to hinder the Mischief Now Camilla put on a fear and weakness which resembl'd a Swoon and having thrown her self on a Bed in the Room Leonela began a most doleful Lamentation over her Alas said she how unfortunate should I be if my Lady so eminent for Virtue and Chastity as well as Beauty should thus perish in my Arms This and much more she utter'd with that force of perfect Dissimulation that whoever had seen her wou'd have concluded her one of the most innocent Virgins in the World and her Lady a meer persecuted Penelope Camilla soon came to her self and cry'd to Leonela why don't you call the most Treacherous and Unfaithful of Friends Go fly and let not thy delays waste my Revenge and Anger in meer Words and idle Threats and Curses Madam reply'd Leonela I will go but you must first give me that Dagger lest you commit some outrage upon your self in my absence which may give an eternal Cause of sorrow to all your Friends that love and value you Let not those Fears detain you said Camilla but assure your self I will not do any thing till you return for tho' I shall not fear to punish my self in the highest degree yet I shall not like Lucretia punish my self without killing him that was the principal cause of my Dishonour If I must die I shall not refuse it but I will first satisfie my Revenge on him that has tempted me to come to this guilty Assignation to make him lament his Crime without being guilty of any my self Camilla could scarce prevail with Leonela to leave her alone but at last she obey'd her and withdrew when Camilla entertain'd her self and her Husband with this following Soliloquy Good Heav'n said she had I not better have continued my Repulses than by this seeming Consent suffer Lothario to think Scandalously of me till my Actions shall convince him of his Error That indeed might have been better in some respects but then I should have wanted this opportunity of Revenge and the Satisfaction of my Husband 's injur'd Honour if he were permitted without any Correction to go off with the Insolence of offering such Criminal Assaults to my Virtue No no let the Traitor's Life attone for the guilt of his false and unfaithful Attempts and his Blood quench that lewd Fire he was not content should burn in his own Breast Let the World be witness if it
and Paper and to be left alone with his Door lock'd When finding that his End approach'd he resolv'd to leave in Writing the Cause of his sudden and unexpected Death Taking therefore the Pen he began to write but unable to finish what he design'd he dy'd a Martyr to his impertinent Curiosity The Gentleman finding he did not call and that it grew late resolv'd to enter his Chamber and see whether his Friend were better or worse he found him half out of Bed lying on his Face with the Pen in his Hand and a Paper open before him Seeing him in this Posture he drew near him call'd and mov'd him but soon found he was dead which made him call his Servants to behold the unhappy Event and then took up the Paper which he saw was written in Anselmo's own Hand and was to this Effect A Foolish and impertinent Desire has robb'd me of Life If Camilla hear of my Death let her know that I forgive her for she was not oblig'd to do Miracles nor was there any Reason I should have desir'd or expected it and since I contriv'd my own Dishonour there is no Cause Thus far Anselmo writ but Life would not hold out till he could give the Reasons he design'd The next Day the Gentleman of the House sent Word of Anselmo's Death to his Relations who already knew his Misfortune as well as the Monastery whither Camilla was retir'd She her self was indeed very near that Death which her Husband had pass'd though not for the Loss of him but Lothario of which she had lately heard a flying Report But though she was a Widow now she would neither take the Veil nor leave the Monastery till in a few Days the News was confirm'd of his being slain in a Battel betwixt Monsieur de Lautrec and that great General Gonzalo Fernandez de Cordoua in the Kingdom of Naples This was the End of the offending and too late penitent Friend the News of which made Camilla immediately profess her self and soon after overwhelm'd with Grief and Melancholy pay for her Transgression with the Loss of her Life This was the unhappy End of them all proceeding from so impertinent a Beginning I like this Novel well enough said the Curate yet after all I cannot perswade my self that there 's any thing of Truth in it and if it be purely Invention the Author was in the Wrong for 't is not to be imagin'd there can ever be a Husband so foolish as to venture on so dangerous an Experiment Had he made his Husband and Wife a Gallant and a Mistress the Fable had appear'd more probable but as it is 't is next to impossible However I must confess I have nothing to object against his manner of telling it CHAP. IX Containing an Account of many surprizing Accidents in the Inn. AT the same Time the Inn-keeper who stood at the Door seeing Company coming More Guests cry'd he a brave jolly Troop on my Word If they stop here we may sing O be joyful What are they said Cardenio Four Men said the Host gallantly Mounted with black Masks on their Faces and Arm'd with Lances and Targets a Lady too all in white that rides single and Mask'd and two running Foot men Are they near said the Curate Just at the Door reply'd the Inn-keeper Hearing this Dorothea veil'd her self and Cardenio had just time enough to step into the next Room where Don Quixote lay when the Strangers came into the Yard The four Horsemen who made a very genteel Appearance dismounted and went to help down the Lady whom one of them taking in his Arms carry'd into the House where he seated her in a Chair by the Chamber-door into which Cardenio had withdrawn All this was done without discovering their Faces or speaking a Word only the Lady as she sat down in the Chair breath'd out a deep Sigh and let her Arms sink down in a weak and fainting Posture The Curate marking their odd Behaviour which rais'd in him a Curiosity to know who they were went to their Servants in the Stable and ask'd what their Masters were Indeed Sir said one of them that 's more than I can tell you they seem of no mean Quality especially that Gentleman who carry'd the Lady into the House for the rest pay him great Respect and his Word is a Law to them Who is the Lady said the Curate We know no more of her than of the rest answer'd the Fellow for we could never see her Face all the time and 't is impossible we should know her or them any otherwise They pick'd us up on the Road my Comrade and my self and prevail'd with us to wait on them to Andalusia promising to pay us well for our Trouble so that bating the two days Travelling in their Company they are utter Strangers to us Could you not hear them name one another all this time ask'd the Curate No truly Sir answer'd the Footman for we heard them not speak a Syllable all the way The poor Lady indeed us'd to sigh and grieve so pitifully that we are perswaded she has no Stomach to this Journey Whatever may be the Cause we know not by her Garb she seems to be a Nun but by her Grief and Melancholy one might guess they are going to make her one when perhaps the poor Girl has no Fancy to live in a Nunnery Very likely said the Curate and with that leaving them he return'd to the Place where he left Dorothea who hearing the Mask'd Lady sigh so frequently mov'd by the natural Pity of the soft Sex could not forbear enquiring the Cause of her Sorrow Pardon me Madam said she if I beg to know your Grief and assure your self that my Request does not proceed from meer Curiosity but an earnest Inclination to serve and assist you if your Misfortune be any such as our Sex is naturally subject to and in the Power of a Woman to cure The melancholy Lady made no return to her Compliment and Dorothea press'd her in vain with new Reasons when the Gentleman whom the Foot-boy signify'd to be the chief of the Company interpos'd Madam said he don't trouble your self to throw away any generous Offer on that ungrateful Woman whose Nature cannot return an Obligation neither expect any Answer to your Demands for her Tongue is a Stranger to Truth Sir said the disconsolate Lady my Truth and Honour have made me thus miserable and my Sufferings are sufficient to prove you the falsest and most base of Men. Cardenio being only parted from the Company by Don Quixote's Chamber-door over-heard these last Words very distinctly and immediately cry'd out Good Heaven what do I hear what Voice struck my Ear just now The Lady startl'd at his Exclamation sprung from the Chair and would have bolted into the Chamber whence the Voice came but the Gentleman perceiving it laid hold on her to prevent her which so disorder'd the Lady that her Mask fell off and discover'd an
incomparable Face Beautiful as an Angel's tho' very pale and strangely discompos'd her Eyes eagerly rolling on every side which made her appear distracted Dorothea and the rest not guessing what her Eyes sought by their violent motion beheld her with Grief and Wonder She struggl'd so hard and the Gentleman was so disorder'd by holding her that his Mask dropt off and discover'd to Dorothea who was assisting to hold the Lady the Face of her Husband Don Ferdinand Scarce had she known him when with a long and dismal Oh! she fell in a Swoon and would have reach'd the Floor with all her Weight had not the Barber by good Fortune stood behind and supported her The Curate ran presently to help her and pulling off her Veil to throw Water in her Face Don Ferdinand presently knew her and was struck almost as dead as she at the Sight nevertheless he did not quit Lucinda who was the Lady that struggl'd so hard to get out of his Hands Cardenio hearing Dorothea's Exclamation and imagining it to be Lucinda's Voice flew into the Chamber in great Disorder and the first Object he met was Don Ferdinand holding Lucinda who presently knew him They were all struck dumb with Amazement Dorothea gaz'd on Don Ferdinand Don Ferdinand on Cardenio and Cardenio and Lucinda on one another At last Lucinda broke Silence and addressing Don Ferdinand Let me go said she unloose your hold my Lord by the Generosity you shou'd have or by your Inhumanity since it must be so I conjure you leave me that I may cling like Ivy to my only Support and from whom neither your Threats nor Prayers nor Gifts nor Promises could ever alienate my Love Contend not against Heaven whose Power alone could bring me to my dear Husband's Sight by such strange and unexpected means You have a thousand Instances to convince you that nothing but Death can make me ever forget him Let this at least turn your Love into Rage which may prompt you to end my Miseries with my Life here before my dear Husband where I shall be proud to lose it since my Death may convince him of my unshaken Love and Honour till the last Minute of my Life Dorothea by this time had recover'd and finding by Lucinda's Discourse who she was and that Don Ferdinand would not unhand her she made a Virtue of Necessity and falling at his Feet my Lord cry'd she all bath'd in Tears if that Beauty which you hold in your Arms has not altogether dazl'd your Eyes you may behold at your Feet the once happy but now miserable Dorothea I am that poor and humble Villager whom your generous Bounty I dare not say your Love did condescend to raise to the honour of calling you her own I am she who once confin'd to peaceful Innocence led a contented Life till your Importunity your Shew of Honour and deluding Words charm'd me from my Retreat and made me resign my Freedom to your Power How I am recompenc'd may be guess'd by my Grief and my being found here in this strange Place whither I was led not through any dishonourable Ends but purely by Despair and Grief to be forsaken of You. 'T was at your Desire I was bound to you by the strictest Tye and whatever you do you can never cease to be mine Consider my dear Lord that my matchless Love may ballance the Beauty and Nobility of the Person for whom you would forsake me she cannot share your Love for 't is only mine and Cardenio's Interest in her will not admit a Partner 'T is easier far my Lord to re-call your wandring Desires and fix them upon her that adores you than to draw her to love who hates you Remember how you did sollicit my humble State and conscious of my Meanness yet paid a Veneration to my Innocence which join'd with the honourable Condition of my yielding to your Desires pronounce me free from ill Design or Dishonour Consider these undeniable Truths Have some Regard to your Honour Remember you 're a Christian Why should you then make her Life end so miserably whose Beginning your Favour made so happy If I must not expect the Usage and Respect of a Wife let me but serve you as a Slave so I belong to you though in the meanest Rank I never shall complain Let me not be expos'd to the slandring Reflections of the Censorious World by so cruel a Separation from my Lord Afflict not the declining Years of my poor Parents whose faithful Services to you and yours have merited a more suitable Return If you imagine the Current of your Noble Blood should be defil'd by mixing with mine consider how many Noble Houses have run in such a Channel besides the Woman's Side is not essentially requisite to ennoble Descent but chiefly think on this that Virtue is the truest Nobility which if you stain by basely wronging me you bring a greater Blot upon your Family than Marrying me could cause In fine my Lord you cannot must not disown me for your Wife to attest which Truth I call your own Words which must be true if you prize your self for Honour and that Nobility whose want you so despise in me witness your Oaths and Vows witness that Heaven which you so oft invok'd to ratify your Promises and if all these should fail I make my last Appeal to your own Conscience whose Sting will always represent my Wrongs fresh to your Thoughts and disturb your Joys amidst your greatest Pleasures These with many such Arguments did the mournful Dorothea urge appearing so lovely in her Sorrow that Don Ferdinand's Friends as well as all the rest sympathiz'd with her Lucinda particularly as much admiring her Wit and Beauty as mov'd by the Tears the piercing Sighs and Moans that follow'd her Entreaties and she would have gone nearer to have comforted her had not Ferdinand's Arms that still held her prevented it He stood full of Confusion with his Eyes fix'd attentively on Dorothea a great while at last opening his Arms he quitted Lucinda Thou hast Conquer'd cry'd he Charming Dorothea thou hast Conquer'd me 't is impossible to resist so many united Truths and Charms Lucinda was still so disorder'd and weak that she would have fall'n when Ferdinand quitted her had not Cardenio without regard to his Safety leap'd forward and caught her in his Arms and embracing her with Eagerness and Joy Thanks Gracious Heaven cry'd he aloud my dear my faithful Wife thy Sorrows now are ended for where canst thou rest more safe than in my Arms which now support thee as once they did when my bless'd Fortune first made thee mine Lucinda then opening her Eyes and finding her self in the Arms of her Cardenio without regard to Ceremony or Decency threw her Arms about his Neck and laying her Face to his Yes said she thou art he thou art my Lord indeed 'T is even you your self the right Owner of this poor harrass'd Captive Now Fortune act thy worst nor Fears
thee adorn'd with all the fineries that I could give thee if we were at Liberty and designed to be Merry This gives me more Wonder and Trouble than even our sad Misfortune therefore answer me The Renegade interpreted all that the Moor said and we saw that Zoraida answer'd not one Word but on a Sudden he spying the little Casket in which she was us'd to put her Jewels which he thought had been left in Algiers remain'd yet more astonish'd and ask'd her how that Trunk could come into our hands and what was in it to which the Renegade without expecting Zoraida's Answer reply'd Do not trouble thy self to ask thy Daughter so many Questions for with one Word I can satisfy them all Know then that she is a Christian and 't is she that has filled off our Chains and given us Liberty she is with us by her own consent and I hope well pleas'd as People should be who come from Darkness to Light and from Death to Life Is this true Daughter said the Moor It is so reply'd Zoraida How then said the Old Man art thou really a Christian and art thou she that has put thy Father into the power of his Enemies to which Zoraida reply'd I am she that is a Christian but not she that has brought thee into this Condition for my design never was to injure my Father but only to do my self good And what good hast thou done thy self said the Moor Ask that of Lela Marien reply'd Zoraida for she can tell thee best The Old Man had no sooner heard this but he threw himself with incredible Fury into the Sea and without Doubt he had been drown'd in it had not his Garments which were somewhat large kept him some time above Water Zoraida cry'd out to us to help him which we all did so readily that we pull'd him out by his Vest but half drown'd and without any feeling This so troubl'd Zoraida that she threw her self upon her Father and began to lament and take on as if her Father had been really dead We turn'd him on his Belly and by the much Water that came out of him he recover'd a little in about two hours time The Wind in the mean while was come about and forc'd us ashore so that we were oblig'd to ply our Oars not to be driven upon the Land It was our Fortune that we got into a small Bay which is made by a Promontory call'd the Cape of the Caba Rumia which in our Tongue is the Cape of the wicked Christian Woman and it is a Tradition among the Moors that there lies buried Caba the Daughter of Count Julian who was the cause of the loss of Spain and they think it Ominous to be forc'd into that Bay for they never go in otherwise than by Necessity but to us it was no unlucky Harbour but a safe Retreat considering how high the Sea went by this time We posted our Centries on Shore but kept our Oars ready to be ply'd upon occasion taking in the mean time some refreshment of what the Renegade had provided praying heartily to God and the Virgin Mary to protect us and help us to bring our design to a happy conclusion Here at the desire of Zoraida we resolv'd to set her Father on Shore with all the other Moors whom we kept fast ty'd for she had not Courage nor could her tender Heart suffer any longer to see her Father and her Country-men ill us'd before her Eyes but we did not think to do it before we were just ready to depart and then they could not much hurt us the Place being a Solitary one and no Habitations near it Our Prayers were not in vain the Wind fell and the Sea became Calm inviting us thereby to pursue our intended Voyage We unty'd our Prisoners and set them on Shore one by one which they were mightily astonish'd at When we came to put Zoraida's Father on Shore who by this time was come to himself he said Why do you think Christians that this wicked Woman desires I should be set at Liberty do you think it is for any Pity she takes of me No certainly but it is because she is not able to bear my presence which hinders the prosecution of her ill Desires I wou'd not have you think neither that she has embrac'd your Religion because she knows the difference between yours and ours but because she has heard that she may live more loosely in your Country than at Home And then turning himself to Zoraida while I and another held him fast by the Arms that he might commit no Extravagance he said O infamous and blind young Woman where art thou going in the power of these Dogs our natural Enemies curs'd be the Hour in which I begot thee and the Care and Affection with which I bred thee But I seeing he was not like to make an end of his Exclamations soon made haste to set him on Shore from whence he continu'd to give us his Curses and Complaints begging on his Knees of Mahâ—met to beg of God Almighty to confound and destroy us and when being under Sail we cou'd no longer hear him we saw his Actions which were to tear his Hair and his Beard and roll himself upon the Ground but he once strain'd his Voice so high that we heard what he said which was Come back my dear Daughter for I forgive thee all Let those Men have the Treasure which is already in their Possession and do thou return to comfort thy disconsolate Father who must else lose his Life in these Sandy Desarts All this Zoraida heard and shed abundance of Tears but cou'd answer nothing but beg that Lela Marien who had made her a Christian wou'd comfort him God knows said she I cou'd not avoid doing what I have done and that these Christians are not oblig'd to me for I cou'd not be at rest till I had done this which to thee dear Father seems so ill a thing All this she said when we were got so far out of his hearing that we cou'd scarce see him So I comforted Zoraida as well as I cou'd and we all minded our Voyage The Wind was now so right for our purpose that we made no doubt of being the next Morning upon the Spanish Shore but as it seldom happens that any Felicity comes so pure as not to be temper'd and allay'd by some mixture of Sorrow either our ill Fortune or the Moor's Curses had such an effect for a Father's Curses are to be dreaded let the Father be what he will that about Midnight when we were under full Sail with our Oars laid by we saw by the light of the Moon hard by us a round Vessel with all her Sails out coming a-head of us which she did so close to us that we were forc'd to strike our Sail not to run foul of her and the Vessel likewise seem'd to endeavour to let us go by they had come so near us to ask
their Guide and Conductor For certainly at the approach of this lovely Damsel not only Castles ought to open and expand their Gates but even Rocks divide their solid Bodies and Mountains bow their Ambitious Crests to make her entrance and afford her a Retreat Enter therefore Sir this Paradise where you shall find a bright Constellation worthy to shine in conjunction with that Heaven of Beauty which you bring Here shall you find Arms in their height and Beauty in Perfection Don Quixote's Speech Mien and Garb put the Judge to a strange Non-plus and he was not a little surpriz'd on t'other Hand at the sudden appearance of the Three Ladies who being inform'd of the Judge's coming and the young Lady's Beauty were come out to see and entertain her But Don Ferdinand Cardenio and the Curate addressing him in a Style very different from the Knight soon convinc'd him that he had to do with Gentlemen and Persons of Note tho' Don Quixote's Figure and Behaviour put him to a stand not being able to make any reasonable conjecture of his Extravagance After the usual Civilities pass'd on both Sides they found upon examination that the Women must all lye together in Don Quixote's Apartment and the Men remain without to guard them The Judge consenting that his Daughter shou'd wait on the Ladies he remain'd contented with his own Bed and part of the Inn-keeper's for himself and the Gentlemen and so made a shift to pass the Night The Captain upon the first sight of the Judge had a strong presumption that he was one of his Brothers and presently ask'd one of his Servants his Name and Country The Fellow told him his Name was Juan Perez de Viedma and that as he was inform'd he was born in the Highlands of Leon. This with his own Observations confirm'd his Opinion that this was the Brother who had made Study his Choice whereupon calling aside Don Ferdinand Cardenio and the Curate he told them with great Joy what he had learn'd with what the Servant further told him that his Master being made a Judge of the Court of Mexico was then upon his Journey to the Indies that the young Lady was his only Daughter whose Mother dy'd in Child-birth settl'd her Dowry upon her Daughter for a Portion and that the Father had still liv'd a Widower and was very Rich. Upon the whole Matter he ask'd their Advice whether they thought it proper for him to discover himself presently to his Brother or by some means try how his Pulse beat first in relation to his loss by which he might guess at his Reception Why should you doubt of a kind one Sir said the Curate Because I am poor Sir said the Captain and would therefore by some device fathom his Affections for should he prove ashamed to own me I should be more asham'd to discover my self Then leave the Management to me said the Curate the Affable and courteous Behaviour of the Judge seems to me so very far from Pride that you need not doubt a Welcome but however because you desire it I engage to find a way to found him Supper was now upon the Table and all the Gentlemen sat down but the Captain who eat with the Ladies in the next Room when the Company had half Supp'd My Lord Judge said the Curate I remember about some years ago I was happy in the acquaintance and friendship of a Gentleman of your Name when I was Prisoner in Constantinople he was a Captain of as much Worth and Courage as any in the Spanish Infantry but as unfortunate as brave What was his Name pray Sir said the Judge Ruy Perez de Viedma answer'd the Curate of a Town in the Mountains of Leon. I remember he told me a very odd Passage between his Father his two Brothers and himself and truly had it come from any Man below his unsuspected Credit and Reputation I should have thought it no more than a Story He said that his Father made an equal dividend of his Estate among his three Sons giving them such Advice as might have fitted the Mouth of Cato that he made Arms his choice and with such success that within a few Years by the pure Merit of his Bravery he was made Captain of a Foot-Company and had a fair prospect of being advanc'd to a Colonel but his Fortune forsook him where he had most reason to expect her Favour for in the memorable Battel of Lepanto where so many Christians recover'd their Liberty he unfortunately lost his I was taken at Goletta and after different turns of Fortune we became Companions at Constantinople thence we were carry'd to Algiers where one of the most strange Adventures in the World befell this Gentleman The Curate then briefly ran through the whole Story of the Captain and Zoraida the Judge sitting all the time more attentive than he ever did on the Bench to their being taken and stripp'd by the French and that he had heard nothing of them after that nor could ever learn whether they came into Spain or were carry'd Prisoners into France The Captain stood list'ning in a Corner and observ'd the Motions of his Brother's Countenance while the Curate told his Story Which when he had finish'd the Judge breathing out a deep sigh and the Tears standing in his Eyes O Sir said he if you knew how nearly your Relation touches me you would easily excuse the violent Eruption of these Tears The Captain you spoke of is my eldest Brother who being of a stronger Constitution of Body and more elevated Soul made the Glory and Fame of War his Choice which was one of the three Proposals made by my Father as your Companion told you I apply'd my self to Study and my younger Brother has purchas'd a vast Estate in Peru out of which he has transmitted to my Father enough to support his liberal Disposition and to me wherewithal to continue my Studies and advance my self to the Rank and Authority which now I maintain My Father is still alive but dies daily for grief he can learn nothing of his eldest Care and importunes Heaven incessantly that he may once more see him before Death close his Eyes 'T is very strange considering his discretion in other Matters that neither Prosperity nor Adversity could draw one Line from him to give his Father an account of his Fortunes For had he or we had the least hint of his Captivity he needed not have staid for the Miracle of the Moorish Lady's Cane for his Deliveance Now am I in the greatest uneasiness in the World least the French the better to conceal their Robbery may have kill'd him the thoughts of this will damp the pleasure of my Voyage which I thought to prosecute so pleasantly Could I but guess dear Brother continu'd he where you might be found I would hazard Life and Fortune for your Deliverance Could our aged Father once understand you were alive though hidden in the deepest and darkest Dungeon in
make this to be an Adventure I will not yet affirm answer'd Don Quixote that 't is an Adventure but a very fair Rise to one as ever was seen But hark he 's tuning some Instrument and by his coughing and spitting he 's clearing his Throat to sing Troth now Sir quoth Sancho 't is e'en so in good earnest and I fancy 't is some Knight that 's in Love All Knight-Errants must be so answer'd Don Quixote But le ts us hearken and if he sings we shall know more of his Circumstances presently for out of the Abundance of the Heart the Mouth speaks Sancho wou'd have answer'd but that the Knight of the Wood's Voice which was but indifferent interrupted him with the following SONG 1. BRight Queen how shall your Loving Slave Be sure not to displease Some Rule of Duty let him crave He begs no other Ease 2. Say must I die or hopeless live I 'll Act as you Ordain Despair a silent Death shall give Or Love himself complain 3. My Heart tho' soft as Wax will provâ— Like Diamonds firm and true For what th' Impression can remove That 's stamp'd by Love and you The Knight of the Wood concluded his Song with a Sigh that seem'd to be fetch'd from the very bottom of his Heart and after some pause with a mournful and disconsolate Voice Oh the most Beautiful but most Ungrateful of Woman-kind cry'd he how is it possible most Serene Casildea de Vandalia your Heart shou'd consent that a Knight who idolizes your Charms should waste the Flower of his Youth and kill himself with continual Wandrings and hard Fatigues Is it not enough that I have made you to be acknowledg'd the greatest Beauty in the World by all the Knights of Navarre all the Knights of Leon all the Tartesians all the Castilians and in fine by all the Knights of La Mancha Not so neither said Don Quixote then for I my self am of La Mancha and never acknowledg'd nor ever cou'd nor ought to acknowledge a Thing so injurious to the Beauty of my Mistress therefore Sancho 't is a plain case this Knight is out of his Senses But let us hearken perhaps we shall discover something more That you will I 'll warrant you quoth Sancho for he seems in Tune to hoan a Month together But it happen'd otherwise for the Knight of the Wood over-hearing them ceas'd his Lamentation and raising himself on his Feet in a loud but courteous Tone call'd to them Who 's there What are ye Are ye of the Number of the Happy or the Miserable Of the Miserable answer'd Don Quixote Repair to me then said the Knight of the Wood and be assur'd you have met Misery and Affliction it self Upon so moving and civil an Invitation Don Quixote and Sancho drew near him and the Mournful Knight taking Don Quixote by the Hand Sit down said he Sir Knight for that your Profession is Chivalry I need no other Conviction than to have found you in this Retirement where Solitude and the cold Night-dews are your Companions and the proper Stations and reposing places of Knight-Errants I am a Knight answer'd Don Quixote and of the Order you mention and tho' my Sorrows and Disasters and Misfortunes usurp the Seat of my Mind I have still a Heart dispos'd to entertain the afflictions of others Yours as I gather by your Complaints is deriv'd from Love and I suppose owing to the Ingratitude of that Beauty you now mention'd While they were thus parleying together they sate close by one another on the hard-Ground very peaceably and lovingly and not like Men that by Break of Day were to break one another's Heads And is it your Fortune to be in Love ask'd the Knight of the Wood 'T is my Misfortune answer'd Don Quixote tho' the pleasant Reflection of having plac'd our affections Worthily sufficiently ballances the Weight of our Disasters and turns them to a Blessing This might be true reply'd the Knight of the Wood if the Disdain of some Mistresses were not often so galling to our Tempers as to inspire us with something like the Spirit of Revenge For my part said Don Quixote I never felt my Mistress's Disdain No truly quoth Sancho who was near them for my Lady is as gentle as a Lamb and as soft as Butter Is that your Squire said the Knight of the Wood It is answer'd Don Quixote I never saw a Squire said the Knight of the Wood that durst presume to interrupt his Master when he was speaking himself There 's my Fellow yonder he 's as big as his Father and yet no Man can say he was ever so saucy as to open his Lips when I spoke Well well quoth Sancho I have talk'd and may talk again and before as and perhaps but I have done The more ye stir the more 't will stink At the same time the Squire of the Wood pulling Sancho by the Arm come Brother said he let us two go where we may chat freely by our selves like downright Squires as we are and let our Masters get over Head and Ears in the Stories of their Loves I 'll warrant ye they 'll be at it all Night and won't have done by that time 't is Day With all my Heart quoth Sancho and then I 'll tell you who I am and what I am and you shall judge if I am not fit to make one among the talking Squires With that the two Squires with-drew and had a Dialogue as Comical as that of their Masters was Serious CHAP. XIII The Adventure with the Knight of the Wood continu'd with the Wise Rare and Pleasant Discourse that pass'd between the two Squires THE Knights and their Squires thus divided the latter to tell their Lives and the former to relate their Amours the Story begins with the Squire of the Wood. Sir said he to Sancho this is a troublesome kind of Life that we Squires of Knight-Errants lead Well may we say we eat our Bread with the sweat of our Brows which is one of the Curses laid on our first Parents Well may we say too quoth Sancho we eat it with a cold Shivering of our Bodies for there are no poor Creatures that suffer more by heat or cold than we do Nay if we cou'd but eat at all 't wou'd never vex one for good Fare lessens Care but sometimes we shall go ye a Day or two and never so much as breakfast unless it be upon the Wind that blows After all said the Squire of the Wood we may bear with this when we think of the reward we are to expect for that same Knight-Errant must be excessively Unfortunate that has not some time or other the Government of some Island or some good handsome Earldom to bestow on his Squire As for me quoth Sancho I have often told my Master I wou'd be contented with the Government of any Island and he is so Noble and Free-hearted that he has promis'd it me over and over For my part
Imagination that the Batchelor Sampson Carrasco shou'd come Arm'd at all Points like a Knight-Errant on purpose to Fight with me Have I ever been his Enemy or given him any occasion to be mine Am I his Rival Or has he taken up the Profession of Arms in Envy of the Glory which I have purchas'd by my Sword Ay but then reply'd Sancho what shall we say to the Resemblance between this same Knight whoever he be and the Batchelor Carrasco and the Likeness between his Squire and my Gossip If 't is an Inchantment as your Worship says were there no other People in the World but they two to make 'em like All all cry'd Don Quixote is the Artifice and Delusion of those malevolent Magicians that Persecute me who foreseeing that I shou'd get the Victory disguis'd their Vanquish'd Property under the Resemblance of my Friend the Batchelor that at the Sight my Friendship might interpose between the Edge of my Sword and moderate my just Resentment and so rescue him from Death who basely had attempted on my Life But thou Sancho by Experience which cou'd not Deceive thee know'st how easie a Matter 't is for Magicians to Transmute the Face of any one into another Resemblance fair into foul and foul again into fair since not two Days ago with thy own Eyes thou beheld'st the Peerless Dulcinea in her natural state of Beauty and Proportion when I the Object of their Envy saw her in the homely disguise of a Blear-Ey'd Fetid Ugly Country-Wench Why then should'st thou wonder so much at the frightful Transformation of the Batchelor and thy Neighbour Cecial But however this is a Comfort to me that I got the better of my Enemy whatsoever Shape he assum'd Well quoth Sancho Heaven knows the Truth of all things This was all the Answer he thought fit to make for as he knew that the Transformation of Dulcinea was only a Trick of his own he was willing to wave the Discourse tho' he was the less satisfy'd in his Master's Chimera's but fear'd to drop some Word that might have betray'd his Roguery While they were in this Conversation they were overtaken by a Gentleman mounted on a very fine Flea-bitten Mare He had on a Riding-Coat of fine Green Cloath fac'd with Murry-colour'd Velvet a Hunter's Cap of the same The Furniture of his Mare was Country-like and after the Jennet-fashion and also Murry and Green By his Side hung a Moorish Scimiter in a large Belt of Green and Gold His Buskins were of the same Work with his Belt His Spurs were not Gilt but Burnish'd so well with a certain green Varnish that they look'd better to suit with the rest of his Equipage than if they had been of pure Gold As he came up with them he very civilly saluted them and clapping Spurs to his Mare began to leave 'em behind him Thereupon Don Quixote call'd to him Sir cry'd he if you are not in too much haste we should be glad of the favour of your Company so far as you Travel this Road. Indeed answer'd the Gentleman I had not thus Rid by you but that I 'm afraid your Horse may prove unruly with my Mare If that be all Sir quoth Sancho you may hold in your Mare for our Horse here is the Honestest and Soberest Horse in the World he is not in the least given to do any naughty thing on such Occasions Once upon a time indeed he happen'd to forget himself and go astray but then he and I and my Master ru'd for 't with a Vengeance I tell you again Sir you may safely stay if you please for if your Mare were to be serv'd up to him in a Dish I 'll lay my Life he would not so much as touch her Upon this the Traveller stopp'd his Mare and did not a little gaze at the Figure and Countenance of our Knight who rodo without his Helmet which like a Wallet hung at the Saddle-bow of Sancho's Ass If the Gentleman in Green gaz'd on Don Quixote Don Quixote look'd no less upon him judging him to be some Man of Consequence His Age seem'd about fifty he had some gray Hairs a sharp Look and a grave yet Pleasing Aspect In short his Mein and Appearance spoke him a Man of Quality When he look'd on Don Quixote he thought he had never beheld before such a strange appearance of a Man He could not but admire at the lankness of his Horse he consider'd then the Long-back'd Raw-bon'd Thing that bestrid him His wan meager Face his Air his Gravity his Arms and Equipage such a Figure as perhaps had not been seen in that Country time out of Mind Don Quixote observ'd how intent the travelling Gentleman had been in surveying him and reading his Desire in his Surprize as he was the very Pink of Courtesie and fond of pleasing every one without staying till he shou'd question him he thought fit to prevent him Sir said he that you are surpriz'd at this Figure of mine which appears so new and exotick I do not wonder in the least but your Admiration will cease when I have inform'd you that I am one of those Knights who go in quest of Adventures I have left my Country Mortgag'd my Estate quitted my Pleasures and thrown my self into the Arms of Fortune My design was to give a new Life to Knight Errantry that so long has been lost to the World and thus after infinite toils and hardship sometimes stumbling sometimes falling casting my self headlong in one place and rising again in another I have compass'd a great part of my Desire relieving Widows protecting Damsels assisting Marry'd Women and Orphans the proper and natural Office of Knight-Errants and so by many Valorous and Christian-like Atchievements I have merited the Honour of the Press in almost all the Nations of the World Thirty thousand Volumes of my History have been printed already and thirty thousand Millions more are like to be printed if Heaven prevent not In short to summ up all in one Word know I am Don Quixote de la Mancha otherwise call'd The Knight of the woeful Figure I own it lessens the value of Praise to be the Publisher of it one's self yet 't is what I am sometimes forc'd to when there is none present to do me Justice And now good Sir no longer let this Steed this Lance this Shield this Armour nor this Squire nor the Paleness of my Looks nor my exhausted Body move your Admiration since you know who I am and the Profession I follow Having said thus Don Quixote was silent and the Gentleman in Green by his delaying to answer him seem'd as if he did not intend to make any Return But at last after some pause Sir Knight said he you were sensible of my Curiosity by my Looks and were pleas'd to say my Wonder wou'd cease when you had inform'd me who you was but I must confess since you have done that I remain no less surpriz'd and amaz'd than
There was a large Scaffold erected on one side of the Meadow and adorn'd with Carpets and Boughs for the Marriage-Ceremony and the more convenient Prospect of the Shows and Entertainments The Procession was just arriv'd to this Place when they heard a piercing out-cry and a voice calling out Stay rash and hasty People stay upon which all turning about they saw a Person coming after them in a black Coat border'd with Crimson powder'd with Flames of Fire On his Head he wore a Garland of mournful Cypress and a large Truncheon in his Hand headed with an Iron Spike As soon as he drew near they knew him to be the gallant Basil and the whole Assembly began to fear some Mischief would ensue seeing him come thus unlook'd for and with such an Outcry and Behaviour He came up tir'd and panting before the Bride and Bridegoom then leaning on his Truncheon he fix'd his Eyes on Quiteria turning pale and trembling at the same time and with a fearful hollow Voice Too well you know cry'd he unkind Quiteria that by the Ties of Truth and Law of that Heaven which we all revere while I have Life you cannot be marry'd to another You may remember too that all the while I stay'd hoping that Time and Industry might better my Fortune and render me a Match more equal for you I never offer'd to transcend the Bounds of honourable Love by solliciting Favours to the Prejudice of your Virtue But you forgetting all the Ties between us are going now to break 'em and give my Right to another whose large Possessions tho' they can procure him all other Blessings I had never envy'd could they not have purchas'd you But no more the Fates have ordain'd it and I will further their Design by removing this unhappy Obstacle out of your Way Live rich Camacho live happy with the ungrateful Quiteria many Years and let the poor the miserable Basil die whose Poverty has clipp'd the Wings of his Felicity and laid him in the Grave Saying these last Words he drew out of his suppos'd Truncheon a short Tuck that was conceal'd in it and setting the Hilt of it to the Ground he fell upon the Point in such a Manner that it came out all bloody at his Back the poor Wretch weltring on the Ground in Blood His Friends strangely confounded by this sad Accident ran to help him and Don Quixote forsaking Rozinante made Haste to his Assistance and taking him up in his Arms found there was still Life in him They would fain have drawn the Sword out of his Body but the Curate urg'd it was not convenient till he had made his Confession and prepar'd himself for Death which would immediately attend the Effusion of Blood upon pulling the Tuck out of his Body While they were debating this Point Basil seem'd to come a little to himself and calling on the Bride Oh. Quiteria said he with a faint and doleful Voice now now in this last and departing Minute of my Life even in this dreadful Agony of Death would you but vouchsafe to give me your Hand and own your self my Wife I should think my self rewarded for the Torments I endure and pleas'd to think this desparate Deed made me yours tho' but for a Moment I would die contented The Curate hearing this very earnestly recommended to him the Care of his Soul's Health which at the present Juncture was more proper than any Gratification of his outward Man that his Time was but short and he ought to be very earnest with Heaven in imploring its Mercy and Forgiveness for all his Sins but especially for his last desperate Action To which Basil answer'd That he could think of no Happiness till Quiteria yielded to be his but if she would do it that Satisfaction would calm his Spirits and dispose him to confess himself heartily Don Quixote hearing this cry'd out aloud That Basil's Demand was just and reasonable and that Signior Camacho might as honourably receive her as the worthy Basil's Widow as if he had receiv'd her at her Father's Hands Say but the Word Madam continu'd he pronounce it once to save a Man from Despair and Damnation you will not be long bound to it since the nuptial Bed of this Bridegroom must be the Grave Camacho stood all this while strangely confounded till at last he was prevail'd on by the repeated Importunities of Basil's Friends to consent that Quiteria should humour the dying Man knowing her own Happiness would be deferr'd but some few Minutes longer Then they all bent their Entreaties to Quiteria some with Tears in theiâ— Eyes others with all the engaging Arguments their Pity could suggest She stood a long Time inexorable and did not return any Answer till 〈◊〉 last the Curate came to her and bid her resolâ—â— what she would do for Basil was just ready to 〈◊〉 up the Ghost But then the poor Virgin trembling and dismay'd without speaking a Word came to poor Basil who lay gasping for Breath with his Eyes fix'd in his Head as if he were just expiring she kneel'd down by him and with the most manifest Signs of Grief beckon'd to him for his Hand Then Basil opening his Eyes and fixing them in a languishing Posture on hers Oh Quiteria said he your Heart at last relents when your Pity comes too late Thy Arms are now extended to relieve me when those of Death draw me to their Embraces and they alas are much too strong for thine All I desire of thee O fatal Beauty 〈◊〉 this let not that fair Hand deceive me now as 〈◊〉 has done before but confess that what you do iâ— free and voluntary without Constraint or in Compliance to any one's Commands declare me openly thy true and lawful Husband Thou wilt noâ— sure dissemble with one in Death and deal falsâ—â— with his departing Soul that all his Life has beeâ— true to thee In the Midst of all this Discourse 〈◊〉 fainted away and all the By-standers thought hiâ— gone The poor Quiteria with a blushing Modesâ—â— a kind of Violence upon her self took him by 〈◊〉 Hand and with a great deal of Emotion 〈◊〉 Force said she could ever work upon my Will 〈◊〉 this Degree therefore I believe it purely my owâ— free Will and Inclination that I here publickly dâ—clare you my only lawful Husband Here 's 〈◊〉 Hand in Pledge and I expect yours as freely 〈◊〉 return if your Pains and this sudden Accideâ—â— have not yet bereft you of all Sense I give it you said Basil with all the Presence of Mind imaginable and here I own my self thy Husband And I thy Wife said she whether thy Life be â—ong or whether from my Arms they bear thee this Instant to the Grave Methinks quoth Sancho this young Man talks too much for a Man in his Condition pray advise him to leave off his Wooing and mind his Soul's Health I 'm afraid his Death is more in his Tongue than in his Teeth Now when Basil and Quiteria had
durst he feign an Answer and pretend he found her winnowing Wheat a Fiction and Banter so injurious to the Reputation of the peerless Dulcinea and so great a Blemish on the Character of a faithful Squire Here Sancho got up without speaking a Word laid his Finger on his Lips and with his Body bent crept cautiously round the Room lifting up the Hangings and peeping in every Hole and Corner At last finding the Coast clear he return'd to his Seat Now quoth he Madam Dutchess since I find there 's no Body here but our-selves you shall e'en hear without Fear or Favour the Truth of the Story and what else you 'll ask me but not a Word of the Pudding First and foremost I must â—ell you I look on my Master Don Quixote to be no better than a down-right Mad-man tho' sometimes he 'll stumble on a Parcel of Sayings so quaint and so tightly put together that the Devil himself could not mend 'em but in the main I can't beat it out of my Noddle but that he 's as mad as a March-Hare Now because I 'm pretty confident of knowing his blind Side whatever Crotchets come into my Crown though without either Head or Tall yet can I make 'em pass upon him for Gospel Such was the Answer to his Letter and another Sham that I put upon him but t'other Day and is not in Print yet touching my Lady Dulcinea's Inchantment for you must know between you and I she 's no more inchanted than the Man in the Moon With that at the Dutchess's Request he related the whole Passage of the late pretended Inchantment very faithfully to the great Diversion of the Hearers But Sir said the Dutchess I have another Scruple in this Affair no less unaccountable than the former for I think I hear something whisper me in the Ear and say If Don Quixote de la Manchâ— be such a Shallow-brains why does Sancho Pança who knows him to be so wait upon this Mad-man and rely thus upon his vain extravagant Promises I can only infer from this that the Man is more a Fool than the Master and if so will not Madam Dutchess be thought as mad as either of 'em to bestow the Government of an Island or the Command of others on one who can't govern himself By 'r Lady quoth Sancho your Scruple comes in Pudding-time But it need not whisper in your Ear it may e'en speak plain and as loud as it will I am a Fool that 's certain for if I 'd been wise I had left my Master many a fair Day since but it was my Luck and my vile Errantry and that 's all can be said on 't I must follow him through Thick and Thin We are both Towns-born Children I have eaten his Bread I love him well and there 's no Love lost between us He pays me well he has giv'n me three Colts and I am so very true and trusty to him that nothing but Death can part us And if your High and Mightiness does not think fit to let me have this same Government why even do so with less was I born and with less shall I die it may be for the Good of my Conscience to go without it I am a Fool 't is true but yet I understand the Meaning of the Saying The Pismire had Wings to do her Hurt and Sancho the Squire may sooner get to Heaven than Sancho the Governour There 's as good Bread bak'd here as in France and Joan's as good as my Lady in the Dark Unhapppy's he that wants his Breakfast at two in the Afternoon 'T is always good Fasting after a good Breakfast There 's no Man has a Stomach a Yard bigger than another but let it be never so big there will be Hay and Straw enough to fill it A Belly full's a Belly full The Sparrow speeds as well as the Sparrow-Hawk Good Serge is fine but coarse Cloth is warm and four Yards of the one are as long as four Yards of the other When the Hour is come we must all be pack'd off the Prince and the Prick-Louse go the same Way at last the Road is no fairer for the one than the other and the Pope and the Sexton may peer in the Pit and so good Den and good Night Friends must part as the King said to his Hounds And let me tell you again if you don't think fit to give me an Island ' cause I 'm a Fool I 'll be so wise as not to care whether you do or no. 'T is an old Saying The Devil lurks behind the Cross All is not Gold that glisters From the Tail of the Plough Bamba was made King of Spain and from his Silks and Riches was Rodrigo â—â—st to be devour'd by the Snakes if the old Ballads say true and sure they are too old to tell a Lie That they are indeed said Donna Rodriguez the old Waiting-Woman who listen'd among the rest for I remember one of the Ballads tells us how Don Rodrigo was shut up alive in a Tomb full of Toads Snakes and Lizards and how after two Days he was heard to cry out of the Tomb in a low and doleful Voice now they eat me now they gnaw me in the Part where I sinn'd most And according to this the Gentleman is in the Right in saying he had rather be a poor Labourer than a King to be gnaw'd to Death by Vermin Sancho's proverbial Aphorisms and the simple Waiting-woman's Comment upon the Text were no small Diversion to the Dutchess You know said she he â—â—st Sancho that the Promise of a Gentleman or Knight must be as precious and sacred to him as his Life I make no Question then but that my Lord Duke who is also a Knight though not of your Master's Order will infallibly keep his Word with you in Respect of your Government Take Courage then Sancho for when you least dream on 't in spight of all the Envy and Malice of the World you will suddenly see your self in full Possession of your Government and seated in your Chair of State in your rich Robes with all your Marks and Ornaments of Power about you But be sure to administer true Justice to your Vassals who by their Loyalty and Discretion will merit no less at your Hands As for the governing Part quoth Sancho let me alone I was ever charitable and good to the Poor and scorn to take the Bread out of another Man's Mouth On the other Side by 'r Lady they shall play me no foul Play I 'm an old Cur at a Crust and can sleep Dog-sleep when I list I can look sharp as well as another and let me alone to keep the Cobwebs out of my Eyes I know where the Shooe wrings me I 'll know who and who 's together Honesty 's the best Policy I 'll stick to that The Good shall have my Hand and Heart but the Bad neither Foot nor Fellowship And in my Mind the main Point in
be hang'd and dye without Remission upon the Gibbet at the End of the Bridge After due Promulgation of this Law many People notwithstanding its Severity adventur'd to go over this Bridge and as it appear'd they swore Truth the Judges permitted 'em to Pass unmolested It happen'd one Day that a certain Passenger being sworn declar'd that by the Oath he had taken he was come to dye upon that Gallows and that was all his Business This put the Judges to a Nonplus for said they If we let this Man pass freely he is forsworn and according to the Letter of the Law he ought to dye If we hang him he has sworn Truth seeing he swore he was to dye on that Gibbet and then by the same Law we should let him pass Now your Lordship's Judgment is desir'd what the Judges ought to do with this Man For they are still at a stand not knowing what to determine in this Case and having been inform'd of your sharp Wit and great Capacity in resolving difficult Questions they sent me to beseech your Lordship in their Names to give your Opinion in so intricate and knotty a Case To deal plainly with you answer'd Sancho Those worshipful Judges that sent you hither might as well have spar'd themselves the Labour for I am more inclin'd to Dullness I assure you than Sharpness However let me hear your Question once more that I may throughly understand it and perhaps I may at last hit the Nail o' the Head The Man repeated the Question again and again and when he had done To my thinking said Sancho this Question may be presently answer'd as thus The Man swore he came to dye on the Gibbet and if he dies there he swore Truth and according to the Law he ought to be free and go over the Bridge On the other Side if you don't hang him he swore false and by the same Law he ought to be hang'd 'T is as your Lordship says reply'd the Stranger you have stated the Case right Why then said Sancho ev'n let that Part of the Man that swore true freely pass and hang the other Part of the Man that swore false and so will the Law be fulfill'd But then my Lord reply'd the Stranger the Man must be divided into two Parts which if we do he certainly dies and the Intent of the Law which must be observ'd is not put in Execution Well hark you me honest Man said Sancho either I am a Codshead or there is as much Reason to put this same Person you talk of to Death as to let him live and pass the Bridge for if the Truth saves him the Lye casts him as well Now the Case stands thus I would have you tell those Gentlemen that sent you to me since there 's as much Reason to bring him off as to condemn him that they e'en let him go free for 't is always more commendable to do Good than Hurt And this I would give you under my own Hand if I cou'd write Nor do I speak this of my own Head but I remember one Precept among many others that my Master Don Quixote gave me the Night before I went to govern this Island which was that when the Scale of Justice is even or a Case is doubtful we shou'd prefer Mercy before Rigour and it has pleas'd God I should call it to Mind so luckily in this Instance For my Part said the Steward this Judgment seems to me so equitable that I do not believe Lycurgus himself who gave Laws to the Lacedemonians could ever have decided the Matter better than the great Sancho has done And now Sir sure there 's enough done for this Morning be pleas'd to adjourn the Court and I 'll give Order that the Governour may dine to his Heart 's Content Well said cry'd Sancho that 's all I want and then a clear Stage and no Favour Feed me well and then ply me with Cases and Questions thick and threefold you shall see me untwist 'em and lay 'em open as clear as the Sun The Steward was as good as his Word believing it wou'd be a Burthen to his Conscience to famish so wise a Governor besides he intended the next Night to put into Practice the last Trick which he had Commission to pass upon him Now Sancho having plentifully din'd that Day in spight of all the Aphorisms of Doctor Tirte a fuera when the Cloath was remov'd in came an Express with a Letter from Don Quixote to the Governour Sancho order'd the Secretary to read it to himself and if there were nothing in it for secret Perusal then to read it aloud The Secretary having first run it over accordingly My Lord said he the Letter may not only be publickly read but deserves to be engrav'd in Characters of Gold and thus it is Don Quixote de la Mancha to Sancho Pansa Governor of the Island of Barataria WHen I expected to have had an Account of thy Carelesness and Impertinences Friend Sancho I was agreeably disappointed with News of thy wise Behaviour for which I return particular Thanks to Heaven that can raise the lowest from their Poverty and turn the Fool into a Man of Sense I hear thou governest with all the Discretion of a Man and that while thou approv'st thy self one thou retain'st the Humility of the meanest Creatures But I desire thee to observe Sancho that 't is many Times very necessary and convenient to thwart the Humility of the Heart for the better Support of the Authority of a Place For the Ornament of a Person that is advanc'd to an eminent Post must be answerable to its Greatness and not debas'd to the Inclination of his former Meanness Let thy Apparel beneat and handsome even a Stake well dress'd does not look like a Stake I wou'd not have thee wear foppish gaudy Things nor affect the Garb of a Soldier in the Circumstances of a Magistrate but let thy Dress be suitable to thy Degree and always clean and decent To gain the Hearts of thy People among other Things I have two chiefly to recommend One is to be affable courteous and fair to all the World I have already told thee of that And the other to take Care that Plenty of Provisions be never wanting for nothing afflicts or urges more the Spirits of the Poor than Scarcity and Hunger Do not put out many new Orders and if thou dost put out any see that they be wholesome and good and especially that they be strictly observ'd For Laws not well obey'd are no better than if they were not made and only shew that the Prince who had the Wisdom and Authority to make 'em had not Resolution to see 'em executed and Laws that only threaten and are not kept become like the Log that was given to the Frogs to be their King which they fear'd at first but soon scorn'd and trampl'd down Be a Father to Virtue but a Father-in-Law to Vice Be not always severe
perswaded that this was his Daughter who being now unbound embrac'd her Father and joyn'd with him in his Joy and Grief My Lords said the old Pilgrim this is my Daughter Anna Felix more unhappy in Fortune than in Name and fam'd as much for her Beauty as for her Father's Riches I left my Country to seek a Sanctuary for my Age and having fix'd upon a Residence in Germany return'd in this Habit with other Pilgrims to recover my Wealth which I have effectually done but I little thought thus unexpectedly to have found my greatest Treasure my dearest Daughter My Lords if it can consist with the Integrity of your Justice to pardon our small Offence I joyn my Prayers and Tears with her's to implore your Mercy on our behalf since we never design'd you any Injury and are innocent of those Crimes for which our Nation has justly been banish'd Ay ay cry'd Sancho putting in I know Ricote as well as the Begger knows his Dish and so far as concerns Anna Felix's being his Daughter I know that 's true too but for all the Story of his Goings-out and Comings-in and his Intentions whether they were good or whether they were bad I 'll neither meddle or make not I. So uncommon an Accident fill'd all the Company with Admiration so that the General turning to the fair Captain Your Tears said he are so prevailing Madam that they compel me now to be forsworn Live lovely Anna Felix Live as many Years as Heaven has decreed you and let those rash and insolent Slaves who alone committed the Crimes bear the Punishment of it With that he gave Order to have the two delinquent Turks hang'd up at the Yard's-Arm But at the Intercession of the Viceroy their Fault shewing rather Madness than Design the fatal Sentence was revok'd the General considering at the same time that their Punishment in cold Blood wou'd look more like Cruelty than Justice Then they began to consider how they might retrieve Don Gaspar Gregorio from the Danger he was in to which purpose Ricote offer'd to the Value of above a Thousand Ducats which he had about him in Jewels to purchase his Ransom But the readiest Expedient was thought to be the Proposal of the Spanish Renegado who offer'd with a small Bark and half a dozen Oars mann'd by Christians to return to Argiers and set him at Liberty as best knowing when and where to land and being acquainted with the Place of his Confinement The General and the Viceroy demurr'd to this Motion thro' a Distrust of the Renegado's Fidelity since he might perhaps betray the Christians that were to go along with him But Anna Felix engaging for his Truth and Ricote obliging himself to ransom the Christians if they were taken the Design was resolv'd upon The Viceroy went ashore committing the Morisca and her Father to Don Antonio Moreno's Care desiring him at the same time to command his House for any thing that might conduce to their Entertainment such Sentiments of Kindness and good Nature had the Beauty of Anna Felix infus'd into his Breast CHAP. LXIV Of an unlucky Adventure which Don Quixote laid most to Heart of any that had yet befallen him DON Antonio's Lady was extremely pleas'd with the Company of the fair Morisca whose Sense being as exquisite as her Beauty drew all the most considerable Persons in the City to visit her Don Quixote told Don Antonio that he cou'd by no means approve the Method they had taken to release Don Gregorio it being full of Danger and little or no Probability of Success but that their surest way wou'd be to have him set ashore in Barbary with his Horse and Arms and leave it to him to deliver the Gentleman in spight of all the Moorish Power as Don Gayferos had rescu'd his Wife Melissandra Good your Worship quoth Sancho hearing this look before you leap Don Gayferos had nothing thing but a fair Race for 't on dry Land when he carried her to France But here an 't please you tho' we shou'd deliver Don Gregorio how the Devil shall we bring him over to Spain cross the broad Sea There 's a Remedy for all Things but Death answer'd Don Quixote 't is but having a Bark ready by the Sea-side and then let me see what can hinder our getting into it Ah Master Master quoth Sancho there 's more to be done than a Dish to wash Saying is one Thing and Doing is another and for my Part I like the Renegade very well he seems to me a good honest Fellow and cut out for the Business Well said Don Antonio if the Renegado fails then the Great Don Quixote shall embark for Barbary In two Days the Renegado was dispatch'd away in a fleet Cruiser of six Oars aside mann'd with brisk lusty Fellows and two days after that the Gallies with the General left the Port and steer'd their Course Eastwards The General having first engag'd the Viceroy to give him an Account of Don Gregorio's and Anna Felix's Fortune Now it happen'd one Morning that Don Quixote going abroad to take the Air upon the Sea-shore arm'd at all Points according to his Custom his Arms as he said being his best Attire as Combat was his Refreshment he spy'd a Knight riding towards him arm'd like himself from Head to Foot with a bright Moon blazon'd on his Shield who coming within his Hearing call'd out to him Illustrious and never sufficiently extoll'd Don Quixote de la Mancha I am the Knight of the White Moon whose incredible Atchievements perhaps have reach'd thy Ears Lo I am come to enter into Combate with Thee and to compel thee by Dint of Sword to own and acknowledge my Mistress by whatever Name and Dignity she be distinguish'd to be without any Degree of Comparison more beautiful than thy Dulcinea del Toboso Now if thou wilt fairly confess this Truth thou freest thy self from certain Death and me from the Trouble of taking or giving thee thy Life If not the Conditions of our Combat are these If Victory be on my Side thou shalt be oblig'd immediately to forsake thy Arms and the Quest of Adventures and to return to thy own Home where thou shalt be engag'd to live quietly and peaceably for the Space of one whole Year without laying Hand on thy Sword to the Improvement of thy Estate and the Salvation of thy Soul But if thou com'st off Conqueror my Life is at thy Mercy my Horse and Arms shall be thy Trophy and the Fame of all my former Exploits by the lineal Descent of Conquest be vested in thee as Victor Consider what thou hast to do and let thy Answer be quick for my Dispatch is limited to this very Day Don Quixote was amaz'd and surpriz'd as much at the Arrogance of the Knight of the White Moon 's Challenge as at the Subject of it so with a solemn and austere Address Knight of the White Moon said he whose Atchievements have as yet been kept from my
the opacous Shades of Dis tremendous Judge of Hell Thou to whom the Decrees of Fate unscrutable to Mortals are reveal'd in order to restore this Damsel to Life open and declare 'em immediately nor delay the promis'd Felicity of her Return to comfort the drooping World Scarce had Minos finish'd his Charge but Rhadamanthus starting up proceed said he ye Ministers and Officers of the Houshold superiour and inferiour high and low proceed one afrer another and mark me Sancho's Face with twenty four Twitches give him twelve Pinches and run six Pins into his Arms and Back-side for Altisidora's Restoration depends on the Performance of this Ceremony Sancho hearing this could hold out no longer but bawling out Body of me cry'd he I 'll as soon turn Turk as give you Leave to do all this You shall put no Countenance of mine upon any such Mortification What the Devil can the spoiling of my Face signify to the restoring of this Damsel I may as soon turn up my broad End and awaken her with a Gun Dulcinea is bewitch'd and I forsooth must flogg my self to free her from Witchcraft And here 's Altisidora too drops off of one Distemper or other and presently poor Sancho must be pull'd by the Handle of his Face his Skin fill'd with Oilet-holes and his Arms pinch'd black and blue to save her from the Worms No no you must not think to put Tricks upon Travellers An old Dog will learn no Tricks Relent cry'd Rhadamanthus aloud thou Tiger submit proud Nimrod suffer and be silent or thou dy'st No Impossibility is requir'd from thee and therefore pretend nor to expostulate on the Severity of thy Doom Thy Face shall receive the Twitches thy Skin shall be pinch'd and groan under the Penance Begin I say ye Ministers of Justice execute my Sentence or upon the Honour of a Man ye shall curse the Hour ye were born At the same Time six old Duena's or Waiting-women appear'd in the Court marching in a formal Procession one after another four of 'em wearing Spectacles and all with their right Hands held aloft and their Wrists according to the Fashion about four Inches bare to make their Hands seem the longer Sancho no sooner spy'd them but roaring out like a Bull do with me what you please cry'd he let a Sackfull of mad Cats lay their Claws on me as they did on my Master in this Castle drill me through with sharp Daggers tear the Flesh from my Bones with red-hot Pincers I 'll bear it with Patience and serve your Worships But the Devil shall run away with me at once before I 'll suffer old waiting-women to lay a Finger upon me Don Quixote upon this broke Silence have Patience my Son cry'd he and resign thy self to these Potentates with Thanks to Heaven for having endow'd thy Person with such a Gift as to release the Inchanted and raise the Dead from the Grave By this the Waiting-women were advanc'd to Sancho who after much Perswasion was at last wrought upon to settle himself in his Seat and submit his Face and Beard to the Female Executioners the first that approach'd gave him a clever Twich and then dropp'd him a Curtsie Less Courtesy and less Sauce good Mrs. Governante cry'd Sancho for by the Life of Pharoah your Fingers stink of Vinegar In short all the Waiting-women and most of the Servants came and â—witch'd and pinch'd him decently and he bore it all with unspeakable Patience But when they came to prick him with Pins he could contain no longer but starting up in a pelting Chafe snatch'd up one of the Torches that stood near him and swinging it round put all the Women and the rest of his Tormenters to their Heels Avaunt cry'd he ye Imps of the Devil d' ye think that my Backside is made of Brass or I intend to be your Master's Martyr At the same Time Altisidora who could not but be tir'd with lying so long upon her Back began to turn herself on one Side which was no sooner perceiv'd by the Spectators but they all set up the Cry She lives she lives Altisidora lives And then Rhadamanthus addressing himself to Sancho desir'd him to be pacify'd for now the wonderful Recovery was effected On the other Side Don Quixote seeing Altisidora stir went and threw himself on his Knees before Sancho my dear Son cry'd he for now I will not call thee Squire now is the Hour for thee to receive some of the Lashes that are incumbent upon thee for the Disinchanting of Dulcinea This I say is the auspicious Time when the Virtue of thy Skin is most mature and efficacious for working the Wonders that are expected from it Out of the Frying-pan into the Fire quoth Sancho I have brought my Hogs to a fair Market truly after I have been twindg'd and tweak'd by the Nose and every where and my Buttocks stuck all over and made a Pin-cushion I must be now whipp'd like a Top must I If you 've a Mind to make an End of me at once can't you as well tie a handsome Stone about my Neck and tip me over into a Well Better make an End of me at once than have me loaded so every foot like a Pack-horse with other Folks Burdens Look ye say but one Word more to me of any such Thing and on my Soul all the Fat shall be in the Fire By this Time Altisidora sat on the Tomb and presently the Musick struck up all the Instruments being joyn'd with the Voices of the Spectators who cry'd aloud Live live Altisidora Altisidora live The Duke and Dutchess got up and with Minos and Rhadamanthus accompany'd by Don Quixote and Sancho went all in a Body to receive Altisidora and handed her down from the Tomb. She pretending to faint bow'd to the Duke and Dutchess and also to the two Kings but casting a shy Look upon Don Quixote Heaven forgive that hard-hearted lovely Knight said she whose Barbarity has made me an Inhabitant of the other World for ought I know a thousand Years But to thee said she turning to Sancho to thee the most compassionate Squire that the World contains I return my Thanks for my Change from Death to Life in Acknowledgment of which six of the best Smocks I have shall be chang'd into Shirts for thee and if they are not spick and span new yet they are all as clean as a Penny Sancho pull'd off his Mitre put his Knee to the Ground and kiss'd her Hand The Duke commanded that they should return him his Cap and instead of his flaming Frock to give him his Gaberdine but Sancho begg'd of his Grace that he might keep the Frock and Mitre to carry into his own Country as a Relick of that wonderful Adventure The Dutchess said he should have 'em for he knew she was always one of his best Friends Then the Duke order'd the Company to clear the Court and retire to their respective Lodgings and that Don Quixote and Sancho
Regard to Virgin-Decency are forc'd to give their Tongues a Loose and betray the Secrets of their Hearts Alas Noble Don Quixote de la Mancha I am one of those unhappy Persons over-rul'd by my Passion but yet so reserv'd and patient in my Sufferings that Silence broke my Heart and my Heart broke in Silence 'T is now two Days most inexorable and Marble-hearted Man since the Sense of your severe Usage and Cruelty brought me to my Death or something so like it that every one that saw me judg'd me to be dead And had not Love been compassionate and assign'd my Recovery on the Sufferings of this kind Squire I had ever remain'd in the other World Truly quoth Sancho Love might e'en as well have made Choice of my Ass for that Service and he would have obliged me a great deal more But pray good Mistress tell me one Thing now and so Heaven provide you a better natur'd Sweet-heart than my Master what did you see in the other World What Sort of Folks are there in Hell For there I suppose you have been for those that die of themselves must needs go to that Summer-house To tell you the Truth reply'd Altisidora I fancy I could not be dead out-right because I was not got so far as Hell for had I got in I 'm sure I should ne'er have been allow'd to have got out again I got to the Gates indeed where I found a round Dozen of Devils in their Breeches and Waste-coats playing at Tennis with flaming Rackets they wore flat Bands with scollop'd Lace and Ruffles of the same Their Arms were naked four Fingers Breadth to give an Air to their Wrists and make their Hands look the longer But what I most wonder'd at was that instead of Tennis-balls they made use of Books that were every whit as light and stuff'd with Wind and Flock or such Kind of Trumpery This was indeed most strange and wonderful but what still amaz'd me more I found that contrary to the Custom of Gamesters among whom the gaining Party at least is in good Humour and the Losers only angry these Hellish Tossers of Books of both sides did nothing but fret fume stamp curse and swear most horribly as if they had been all Losers That 's no Wonder at all quoth Sancho for your Devils whether they play or no win or lose they can never be contented That may be said Altisidora but another Thing that I admire I then admir'd I would say was that the Ball would not bear a second Blow but at every Stroke they were oblig'd to change Books some of 'em new some old which I thought very strange And one Accident that happen'd upon this I can't forget They tos'd up a new Book fairly bound and gave it such a smart Stroke that the very Guts flew out of it and all the Leaves were scatter'd about Then cry'd one of the Devils to another look look what Book is that 'T is the Second Part of the History of Don Quixote said the other not that which was compos'd by Cid Hamet the Author of the first but by a certain Arragonian who professes himself a Native of Tordesillas Away with it cry'd the first Devil down with it plunge it to the lowest Pit of Hell where I may never see it more Why is it such sad stuff said the other Such intolerable Stuff cry'd the first Devil that if I and all the Devils in Hell should set our Heads together to make it worse it were past our Skill The Devils continu'd their Game and shatter'd a World of other Books but the Name of Don Quixote that I so passionately ador'd confin'd my Thoughts only to that Part of the Vision which I told you It could be nothing but a Vision to be sure said Don Quixote for I am the only Person of that Name now in the Universe and that very Book is tos'd about here at the very same rate never resting in a Place for every Body has a Fling at it Nor am I concern'd that any Phantom assuming my Name should wander in the Shades of Darkness or in the Light of this World since I am not the Person of whom that History treats If it be well writ faithful and authentick it will live Ages but if it be bad 't will have but a bad Journey from its Birth to the Grave of Oblivion Altisidora was then going to renew her Expostulations and Complaints against Don Quixote had not he thus interrupted her I have often caution'd you Madam said he of fixing your Affections upon a Man who is absolutely uncapable of making a suitable Return It grieves me to have a Heart obtruded upon me when I have no Entertainment to give it but bare cold Thanks I was only born for Dulcinea del Toboso and to her alone the Destinies if such there be have devoted my Affection So 't is â—resumption for any other Beauty to imagine she can displace her or but share the Possession she holds in my Soul This I hope may suffice to take away all Foundation from your Hopes and to recal your Modesty and re-instate it in its proper Bounds for nothing is to be expected from a Man in Impossibilities Upon hearing this Death of my Life Cry'd Altisidora putting on a violent Passion thou Lump of Lead thou with a Soul of Morter and a Heart as little and as hard as the Stone of an Olive more stubborn than a fullen Plough-driver or a Carrier's Horse that will never go out of his Road I have a good Mind to tear your Eyes out as deep as they are in your Head Why thou beaten Swash-buckler thou Rib-roasted Knight of the Cudgel hast thou the Impudence to think that I dy'd for Love of thy Lanthorn-Jaws No no Sir Tiffany all that you have seen this Night has been Counterfeit for I would not suffer the Pain of a Flea-bite much less that of dying for such a Dromedary as thou art Troth Lass I believe thee quoth Sancho for all these Stories of People dying for Love are meer Tales of a roasted Horse They tell you they 'll dye for Love but the Devil a-bit Trust to that and be laugh'd at Their Discourse was interrupted by the coming in of the Harper Singer and Composer of the Stanza's that were perform'd in the Court the Night before Sir Knight said he to Don Quixote making a profound Obeisance let me beg the Favour of being number'd among your most humble Servants 't is an Honour which I have long been ambitious to receive in regard of your great Renown and the Value of your Atchievements Pray Sir said Don Quixote let me know who you are that I may proportion my Respects to your Merits The Spark gave him to understand he was the Person that made and sung the Verses he heard the last Night Truly Sir said Don Quixote you have an excellent Voice but I think your Poetry was little to the Purpose for what Relation pray have
now the Knight was mightily off the romantick Pin to what he us'd to be as shall be shew'd presently more at large He was lodg'd in a ground Room which instead of Tapistry was hung with a course painted Stuff such as is often seen in Villages One of the Pieces had the Story of Helen of Troy when Paris stole her away from her Husband Menelaus but scrawl'd out after a bungling Rate by some wretched Dawber or other Another had the Story of Dido and Aeneas the Lady on the Top of a Turret waving a Sheet to her fugitive Guest who was in a Ship at Sea crouding all the Sails he could to get from her Don Quixote made this Observation upon the two Stories that Helen was not at all displeas'd at the Force put upon her but rather leer'd and smil'd upon her Lover Whereas on the other Side the fair Dido shew'd her Grief by her Tears which because they should be seen the Painter had made as big as Walnuts How unfortunate said Don Quixote were these two Ladies that they liv'd not in this Age or rather how much more unhappy am I for not having liv'd in theirs I would have met and stopp'd those Gentlemen and sav'd both Troy and Carthage from Destruction nay by the Death of Paris alone all these Miseries had been prevented I 'll lay you a Wager quoth Sancho that before we be much older there will not be an Inn a hedge-Tavern a blind Victualling-house nor a Barber's Shop in the Country but what will have the Story of our Lives and Deeds pasted and painted along the Walls But I could wish with all my Heart though that they may be done by a better Hand than the bungling Son of a Whore that drew these Thou art in the Right Sancho for the Fellow that did these puts me in Mind of Orbaneja the Painter of Uveda who as he sat at Work being ask'd what he was about made Answer any Thing that comes uppermost and if he chanc'd to draw a Cock he underwrit This is a Cock lest People should take it for a Fox Just such a one was he that painted or that wrote for they are much the same the History of this new Don Quixote that has lately peep'd out and ventur'd to go a strolling for his Painting or Writing is all at Random and any Thing that comes uppermost I fancy he 's also not much unlike one Mauleon a certain Poet who was at Court some Years ago and pretended to give Answer ex tempore to any manner of Questions some Body ask'd him what was the Meaning of Deum de Deo whereupon my Gentleman answer'd very pertly in Spanish De donde diere that is hab nab at a venture But to come to our own Affairs Hast thou an Inclination to have t'other Brush to Night What think you of a warm House would it not do better for that Service than the open Air Why truly quoth Sancho a Whipping is but a Whipping either abroad or within Doors and I could like a close Room well enough so it were among Trees for I love Trees hugely d' ye see methinks they bear me Company and have a Sort of fellow-feeling of my Sufferings Now I think on 't said Don Quixote it shall not be to Night honest Sancho you shall have more Time to recover and we 'll let the Rest alone till we get home 't will not be above two Days at most E'en as your Worship pleases answer'd Sancho but if I might have my Will it were best making an End of the Jobb now my Hand 's in and my Blood up There 's nothing like striking while the Iron is hot for Delay breeds Danger 't is best grinding at the Mill before the Water 's past ever take while you may have it a Bird in Hand is worth two in the Bush For Heaven's sake good Sancho cry'd Don Quixote let alone thy Proverbs if once thou go'st back to Sicut erat or as it was in the Beginning I must give thee over Can'st thou not speak as other Folks do and not after such a tedious and intricate manner How often have I told thee of this Mind what I tell you I 'm sure you 'll be the better for 't 'T is an unlucky Trick I 've got reply'd Sancho I can't bring you in three Words to the Purpose without a Proverb nor bring you in any Proverb but what I think to the Purpose but I 'll mend if I can And so for this time their Conversation broke off CHAP. LXXII How Don Quixote and Sancho got Homeâ— THat whole Day Don Quixote and Sancho continu'd in the Inn expecting the Return of Night the one to have an Opportunity to make an End of his Penance in the Fields and the other to see it fully perform'd as being the most material Preliminary to the Accomplishment of his Desires In the mean Time a Gentleman with three or four Servants came riding up to the Inn and one of 'em calling him that appear'd to be the Master by the Name of Don Alvaro Tarfe your Worship said he had as good stop here till the Heat of the Day be over In my Opinion the House looks cool and cleanly Don Quixote over-hearing the Name of Tarfe and presently â—urning to his Squire Sancho said he I am much mistaken if I had not a Glimpse of this very Name of Don Alvaro Tarfe in turning over that pretended second Part of my History As likely as not quoth Sancho but first let him alight and then we 'll question him about the Matter The Gentleman alighted and was shew'd by the Land-lady into a Ground-Room that fac'd Don Quixote's Apartment and was hung with the same Sort of course painted Stuff A While after the Stranger had undress'd for Coolness he came out to take a Turn and walked into the Porch of the House that was large and airy There he found Don Quixote to whom addressing himself Pray Sir said he which Way do you travel To a Country-Town not far off answer'd Don Quixote the Place of my Nativity And pray Sir which Way are you bound To Granada Sir said the Knight the Country where I was born And a fine Country it is reply'd Don Quixote But pray Sir may I beg the Favour to know your Name for the Information I am perswaded will be of more Consequence to my Afairs than I can well tell you They call me Don Alvaro Tarfe answer'd the Gentleman Then without Dispute said Don Quixote you are the same Don Alvaro Tarfe whose Name fills a Place in the second Part of Don Quixote de la Mancha's History that was lately publish'd by a New Author The very Man answer'd the Knight and that very Don Quixote who is the principal Subject of that Book was my intimate Acquaintance I am the Person that intic'd him from his Habitation so far at least that he had never seen the Tournament at Saragosa had it not been through my Perswasions and in
you The Niece and Maid who without Doubt were good-natur'd Creatures undress'd him put him to Bed brought him something to eat and tended him with all imaginable Care CHAP. LXXIV How Don Quixote fell sick made his last Will and died AS all humane Things especially the Lives of Men are transitory their very Beginnings being but Steps to their Dissolution so Don Quixote who was no way exempted from the common Fate was snatch'd away by Death when he least expected it Whether his Sickness was the Effect of his melancholick Reflections or pre-ordain'd by the Heavens I will not determine but he was seiz'd with a violent Feaver that confin'd him to his Bed six Days All that Time his good Friends the Curate Batchelor and Barber came often to see him and his trusty Squire Sancho Pança never stirr'd from his Bed-side They conjectur'd that his Sickness proceeded from the Regret of his Defeat and his being disappointed of Dulcinea's Dis-inchantment and accordingly they left nothing unessay'd to divert him The Batchelor begg'd him to pluck up a good Heart and rise that they might begin their Pastoral Life telling him that he had already writ an Eclogue to that Purpose not inferiour to those of Sannazaro and that he bought with his own Money of a Shepherd of Quintana two tearing Dogs to watch their Flock the one call'd Barcino and the other Bueron but this had no Effect on Don Quixote for he still continu'd dejected A Physician was sent for who upon feeling his Pulse did not very well like it and therefore desir'd him of all Things to provide for his Soul's Health for that of his Body was in a dangerous Condition Don Quixote heard this with much more Temper than those about him for his Niece his House-keeper and his Squire fell a weeping as bitterly as if he had been laid out already Don Quixote desir'd them to leave him a little to himself because he found himself inclinable to Rest they retir'd and he had a hearty Sleep of above Six Hours which the Maid and Niece were afraid would be his last At length he wak'd and with a loud Voice Blessed be the Almighty cry'd he for this great Benefit he has vouchsafed to do me Infinite are his Mercies they are greater and more in Number than the Sins of Men. The Niece harkening very attentively to these Words of her Uncle and finding more Sense in them than there was in his usual Talk at least since he had fallen ill What do you say Sir said she has any Thing extraordinary happen'd What Mercies are these you mention Mercies answer'd he that Heaven has this Moment vouchsafed to shew me in spite of all my Iniquities My Judgment is return'd clear and undisturb'd and that Cloud of Ignorance is now remov'd which the continual Reading of those damnable Books of Knight-Errantry had cast over my Understanding Now I perceive their Nonsense and Impertinence and am only sorry the Discovery happens so late when I want Time to make Amends by those Studies that shou'd enlighten my Soul and prepare me for Futurity I find Niece my End approaches but I wou'd have it such that tho' my Life has got me the Character of a Mad-man I may deserve a better at my Death Dear Child continu'd he send for my honest Friends the Curate the Batchelor Carrasco and Master Nicholas the Barber for I intend to make my Confession and my Will His Niece was sav'd the Trouble of sending for presently they all three came in which Don Quixote perceiving My good Friends said he I have happy News to tell you I am no longer Don Quixote de la Mancha but Alonso Quixano the same whom the World for his fair Behaviour has been pleas'd to call the Good I now declare my self an Enemy to Amadis de Gaul and his whole Generation all profane Stories of Knight-Errantry all Romances I detest I have a true Sense of the Danger of reading them and of all my pass'd Follies and thro' Heaven's Mercy and my own Experience I abhor them His three Friends were not a little surprized to hear him talk at this rate and concluded some new Frenzy had possess'd him What now said Sampson to him What 's all this to the Purpose Signior Don Quixote We have just had the News that the Lady Dulcinea is dis-inchanted and now we are upon the point of turning Shepherds to sing and live like Princes you are dwindl'd down to a Hermit No more of that I beseech you reply'd Don Quixote all the Use I shall make of these Follies at present is to heighten my Repentance and though they have hitherto prov'd prejudicial yet by the Assistance of Heaven they may turn to my Advantage at my Death I find it comes fast upon me therefore pray Gentlemen let us be serious I want a Priest to receive my Confession and a Scrivener to draw up my Will There 's no trifling at a Time like this I must take Care of my Soul and therefore pray let the Scrivener be sent for while Mr. Curate prepares me by Confession Don Quixote's Words put them all into such Admiration that they stood gazing upon one another they thought they had Reason to doubt of the Return of his Understanding and yet they cou'd not help believing him They were also apprehensive he was near the Point of Death considering the sudden Recovery of his Intellects and he deliver'd himself after that with so much Sense Discretion and Piety and shew'd himself so resign'd to the Will of Heaven that they made no Scruple to believe him restor'd to his perfect Judgement at last The Curate thereupon clear'd the Room of all the Company but himself and Don Quixote and then confess'd him In the mean time the Batchelor ran for the Scrivener and presently brought him with him and Sancha Pança being inform'd by the Batchelor how ill his Master was and finding his Niece and House-keeper all in Tears began to make wry Faces and fall a crying The Curate having heard the sick Person 's Confession came out and told them that the good Alonso Quixano was very near his End and certainly in his Senses and therefore they had best go in that he might make his Will These dismal Tidings open'd the Sluices of the House-keeper's the Niece's and the good Squire 's swollen Eyes so that a whole Inundation of Tears burst out of those Flood-Gates and a thousand Sighs from their Hearts for indeed either as Alonso Quixano or as Don Quixote de la Mancha as it has been observ'd the sick Gentleman had always shew'd himself such a good-natur'd Man and of so agreeable a Conversation that he was not only belov'd by his Family but by every one that knew him The Scrivener with the rest of the Company then went into the Chamber and the Preamble and formal Part of the Will being drawn and the Testator having recommended his Soul to Heaven and bequeath'd his Body to the Earth according to
more wretched than you all Come Howl as in redoubled Flames Attend me to th' eternal Night No other Dirge nor Funral Rite A poor despairing Lover claims And thou my Song sad Child of Woe When Life is gone and I m below For thy lost Parent cease to grieve With Life and Thee my Woes increase And shou'd they not by dying cease Hell has no pains like those I leave These Verses were well approv'd by all the Company only Vivaldo observ'd that the Jealousies and Fears of which the Shepherd complain'd did not very well agree with what he had heard oâ— Marcella's unspotted Modesty and Reservedness But Ambrose who had been always privy tâ— the most secret Thoughts of his Friend inform d him that the unhappy Chysostome wrote those Verses when he had torn himself from his ador'd Mistress to try whether absence the comâ—â—â— cure of Love wou'd relieve him and mitigaâ—â— his Pain And as every thing disturbs an absent Lover and nothing is more usual than for him to torment himself with a thousand Chymera's of his own Brain so did Chrysostome perplex himself with jealousies and suspicions which had no ground but in his distracted imagination and therefore whatever he said in those uneasie Circumstances cou'd never affect or in the least prejudice Marcella's Virtuous Character upon whom setting aside her Cruelty and her disdainful Haughtiness Envy itself could never fix the least Reproach Vivaldo being thus convinc'd they were going to read another Paper when they were unexpectedly prevented by a kind of an Apparition that offered it self to their View 'T was Marcella herself who appear'd at the top of the Rock at the foot of which they were digging the Grave but so beautiful that Fame seem'd rather to have lessen'd than to have magnify'd her Charms those who had never seen her before gaz'd on her with silent wonder and delight nay those who us'd to see her every day seem'd no less lost in admiration than the rest But scarce had Ambrose spy'd her when with anger and indignation in his heart he cry'd out What mak'st thou there thou fierce thou cruel Basilisk of these Mountains com'st thou to see whether the Wounds of this murther'd Wretch will bleed afresh at thy presence Or com'st thou thus mounted aloft to glory in the fatal effects of thy native Inhumanity like another Nero at the sight of Flaming Rome Or is it to Trample this unfortunate Corps as Tarquin's ungrateful Daughter did her Fathers Tell us quickly why thou com'st and what thou yet desirest For since I know that Chrysostome's whole study was to serve and please thee while he liv'd I 'm willing to dispose all his Friends to pay thee the like obedience now he 's dead I come not here to any of those ungrateful ends Ambrose reply'd Marcella but only to clear my Innocence and show the injustice of all those who lay their misfortunes and Chrysostome's Death to my charge Therefore I entreat you all who are here at this time to hear me a little for I shall not need to use many words to convince People of sense of an evident Truth Heav'n you 're pleas'd to say has made me beautiful and that to such a degree that you are forc'd nay as it were compell'd to love me in spight of your endeavours to the contrary and for the sake of that love you say I ought to love you again Now tho I am sensible that whatever is beautiful is lovely I cannot conceive that what is lov'd for being handsom shou'd be bound to love that by which 't is lov'd meerly because 't is lov'd he that loves a beautiful object may happen to be ugly and as what is ugly deserves not to be lov'd it wou'd be ridiculous to say I love you because you are handsom and therefore you must love me again tho I am ugly But suppose two persons of different Sex are equally handsom it does not follow that their desires shou'd be alike and reciprocal for all Beauties do not kindle Love some only recreate the sight and never reach nor captivate the heart Alas shou'd whatever is beautiful beget Love and in slave the mind Mankind's desires wou'd ever run confus'd and wandering without being able to fix their determinate choice for as there is an infinite number of beautiful objects the Desires wou'd consequently be also infinite whereas on the contrary I have heard that true Love is still confin'd to one and voluntary and unforc'd This being granted why wou'd you have me force my Inclinations for no other reason but that you say you love me Tell me I beseech you had Heaven form'd me as ugly as it has made me beautiful cou'd I justly complain of you for not loving me Pray consider also that I do not possess those Charms by choice such as they are they were freely bestow'd on me by Heaven and as the Viper is not to be blam'd for the Poyson with which she kills seeing 't was assign'd her by Nature so I ought not to be censur'd for that Beauty which I derive from the same Cause For Beauty in a Virtuous Woman is but like a distant Flame or a sharp-edg'd Sword and only burns and wounds those who approach too near it Honour and Virtue are the ornaments of the Soul and that Body that 's destitute of 'em cannot be esteem'd beautiful tho it be naturally so If then Honour be one of those Endowments which most adorn the Body why shou'd she that 's belov'd for her Beauty expose herself to the loss of it meerly to gratifie the loose Desires of one who for his own selfish ends uses all the means imaginable to make her lose it I was born free and that I might continue so I retir'd to these solitary hills and plains where Trees are my Companions and clear Fountains my Looking-glasses Those whom I have attracted with my sight I have undeceiv'd with my words And if hope be the food of desire I never gave any encouragement to Chrysostome nor to any other it may well be said 't was rather his own obstinacy than my cruelty that shorten'd his life If you tell me that his intentions were honest and therefore ought to have been complyd with I answer that when at the very place where his Grave is making he discover'd his Passion I told him I was resolv'd to live and dye single and that the Earth alone shou'd reap the spoils of my Reserv'dness and Beauty and if after all the admonitions I gave him he wou'd persist in his obstinate pursuit and sail against the Wind what wonder is' t he shou'd perish in the Waves of his Indiscretion had I ever encourag'd him or amus'd him with ambiguous words then I had been false and had I gratify'd his wishes I had acted contrary to my better resolves He persisted tho I had given him a due caution and he despair'd e're he was hated Now I leave you to judge whether I ought to be blam'd
much that thou may'st see the vast difference between Knights and Knights and I think 't were to be wish'd that all Princes knew so far how to make the Distinction as to give the Preheminence to this first species of Knight-Errants among whom there have been some whose Fortitude has not only been the Defence of our Kingdom but of many more as we read in their Histories Ah! Sir said the Niece have a care what you say all the Stories of Knight-Errants are nothing but a pack of Lies and Fables and if they are not burnt they ought at least to wear a Sanbenito the Badge of Heresy or some other mark of Infamy that the World may know 'em to be wicked and perverters of good Manners Now by the powerful sustainer of my Being cry'd Don Quixote wert thou not so nearly related to me wert thou not my own Sister's Daughter I would take such Revenge for the Blasphemy thou hast uttered as would resound thro' the whole Universe Who ever heard of the like Impudence That a young Baggage who scarce knows her Bobbins from a Bodkin shou'd presume to put in her Wood and Censure the Histories of Knight-Errants What would Sir Amadis have said had he heard this But he undoubtedly would have forgiven thee for he was the most Courteous and Complaisant Knight of his Time especially to the fair Sex being a great Protector of Damsels but thy Words might have reach'd the Ears of some that would have Sacrific'd thee to their Indignation for all Knights are not possess'd of Civility or good Nature some are Rough and Revengeful and neither are all those that assume the Name of a Disposition suitable to the Function some indeed were of the right Stamp but others are either Counterfeit or of such an Allay as cannot bear the Touch-stone though they deceive the Sight Inferiour Mortals there are who aim at Knighthood and strain to reach the height of Honour and High-born Knights there are who seem fond of groveling in the Dust and being lost in the Crowd of inferiour Mortals The first raise themselves by Ambition or by Vertue the last debase themselves by Negligence or by Vice so that there is need of a distinguishing Understanding to judge between these two sorts of Knights so near ally'd in Name and so different in Actions Bless me dear Uncle cry'd the Niece that you should know so much as to be able if there was Occasion to get up into a Pulpit or Preach * * A common thing in Spain for the Fryars in an extraordinary fit of Zeal to preach in any part of the Street or Market-Place in the Streets and yet be so strangely mistaken so grosly blind of Understanding as to fancy a Man of your Years and Infirmity can be strong and Valiant that you can set every thing right and force stubborn Malice to bend when you your self stoop beneath the Burden of Age and what 's yet more odd that you are a Knight when 't is well known you are none For tho' Gentlemen may be Knights a poor Gentleman can't purchace a Knight-hood Therefore you say well Niece answer'd Don Quixote and as to to this last Observation I could tell you things that you would admire at concerning Families but because I will not mix Sacred things with Profane I wave the Discourse However listen both of you and for your further Instruction know that all the Lineages and Descents of Mankind are reduceable to these four Heads First of those who like a Pyramid revers'd from a very small and obscure beginning have rais'd themselves to a spreading and prodigious Magnitude of which the Family of the Ottomans is an Instance while they derive the greatness of their present Power and Empire from the base and groveling beginning of a poor groveling Shepherd A Second are the Counter-part to this whose Honours from large Foundations have dwindl'd into less compass and at last been extenuated till vanish'd into nothing of which there is an infinite number of Examples for all your Egyptian Monarchs your Pharaohs and Ptolemies your Caesars of Rome and all the Swarm if I may use that Name of Monarchs Princes and Potentates Medes Assyrians Persians Greeks and Barbarians and all these mighty things are ended in a Point the shadow of their greatness serves now only to obscure their mean Successors who are lost in the ignoble Crowd of vulgar Mortals A third sort there are who deriving their greatness from a Noble Spring still preserve the Dignity and Character of their original Splendour The last is of those whose Beginning Continuance and Ending are Mean and altogether Obscure such are the common People which I hate to mention being only the Lumber and Ballast of the World and only thrown in as Ciphers to encrease the general Summ their utmost Attempts deserving no further Renown nor Elogy Now my good natur'd Souls you may at least draw this reasonable Inference from what I have said of this promiscuous dispensation of Honours and this uncertainty and confusion of Descent That Vertue Wealth and Liberality in the present Possessor are the most just and undisputable Titles to Nobility for the advantages of Pedigree without these qualifications serve only to make Vice more conspicuous The great Man that is Vicious will be greatly Vicious and the rich Miser is only a covetous Beggar for not he who possesses but that spends and enjoys his Wealth is the rich and the happy Man nor he neither who barely spends but who does it with Discretion The poor Knight indeed cannot shew he is one by his Magnificence but yet by his Vertue Affability Civility and courteous Behaviour he may display the chief Ingredients that enter into the Compositions of Knight-hood and though he cannot claim Liberality wanting Riches to support it his Charity may recompence that Defect for an Alms of two Maravedis cheerfully bestow'd upon an indigent Beggar by a Man in poor Circumstances speaks him as Liberal as the larger Donative of a Vain-glorious Rich-man before a Fawning Crowd These Accomplishments will always shine thro' the Clouds of Fortune and at last break through 'em with Splendor and Applause There are two paths to Dignity and Wealth Arts and Arms. Arms I have chosen and the Influence of the Planet Mars that presided at my Nativity led me to that adventurous Road. So that all your Attempts to shake my Resolution are in vain for in spight of all Mankind I will pursue what Heaven has fated Fortune ordain'd what Reason requires and which is more what my Inclination demands I am sensible of the many Troubles and Dangers that attend the prosecution of Knight-Errantly but I also know what infinite Honours and Rewards are the consequence of the Performance The path of Vertue is narrow and the way of Vice easie and open but the difference in the end is as considerable The latter is a broad Road indeed and down-hill all the way but Death and Contempt are always met
at the end of the Journey whereas the former leads to Glory and Life not a Life that soon must have an end but an immortal Being For I know as our great * * Boscan one of the first Reformers of the Spanish Poetry Castilian Poet expresses it that Thro' steep Ascents thro' straight and rugged Ways Our selves to Glory's lofty Seats we raise In vain he hopes to reach the bless'd Abode Who leaves the narrow path for the more easy road Alack aday cry'd the Niece my Uncle is a Poet too He knows every thing I 'll lay my Life he might turn Mason in case of Necessity If he would but undertake it he could build a House as easie as a Bird-cage Why truly Niece said Don Quixote were not my Understanding wholly involv'd in Thoughts relating to the exercise of Knight-Errantry there is nothing which I durst not engage to perform no Curiosity should escape my Hands especially Cages and Tooth-pickers By this some body knock'd at the Door and being ask'd who it was Sancho answer'd 't was he Whereupon the House-keeper slipp'd out of the way not willing to see him and the Niece let him in Don Quixote receiv'd him with open Arms and locking themselves both in the Closet they had another Dialogue as pleasant as the former CHAP. VII An Account of Don Quixote's Conference with his Squire and other most famous Passages THE House-keeper no sooner saw her Master and Sancho lock'd up together but she presently surmis'd the Drift of their close Conference and concluding that no less than Villanous Knight-Errantry would prove the Result of this private Interview she flung her Veil over her Head and quite cast down with Sorrow and Vexation trudg'd away to seek Sampson Carrasco the Batchelor of Arts depending on his Wit and Eloquence to disswade his Friend Don Quixote from his frantick Resolution She found him walking in the Yard of his House and fell presently on her Knees before him in a cold Sweat and with all the Marks of a disorder'd Mind What 's the Matter Woman said he somewhat surpriz'd at her Posture and Confusion what has befallen you that you look as if you were ready to give up the Ghost Nothing said she dear Sir but that my Master 's departing he 's departing that 's most certain How cry'd Carrasco What d' you mean Is his Soul departing out of his Body No answer'd the Woman but all his Wits are quite and clean departing He means to be Gadding again into the wide World and is upon the Spur now the third Time to hunt after Ventures as he calls 'em though I don't know why he calls those Chances so The first time he was brought home was athwart an Ass and almost cudgel'd to pieces T'other Bout he was forc'd to ride home in a Waggon coop'd up in a Cage where he would make us believe he was Inchanted and the poor Soul look'd so dismal that the Mother that bore him would not have known the Child of her Bowels so meager wan and wither'd and his Eyes so sunk and hid in the utmost nook and corner of his Brain that I am sure I spent about six hundred Eggs to cocker him up again ay and more too as Heaven and all the World 's my Witness and the Hens that laid 'em can't deny it That I believe said the Batchelor for your Hens are so well bred so fat and so good that they won't say one thing and think another for the World But is this all Has no other ill Luck befaln you besides this of your Master 's intended Ramble No other Sir quoth she Then trouble your Head no farther said he but get you home and as you go say me the Prayer of St Apollonia if you know it then get me some warm Bit for Breakfast and I 'll come to you presently and you shall see Wonders Dear me quoth she the Prayer of St. Polonia Why 't is only good for the Tooth-ach but his Ailing lies in his Skull Gammer said he don't dispute with me I know what I say Have I not commenc'd Batchelour of Arts at Salamanca and do you think I have my Degree for nothing With that away she goes and he went presently to find the Curate to consult with him about what shall be declar'd in due Time When Sancho and his Master were lock'd up together in the Room there pass'd some Discourse between them of which the History gives a very punctual and impartial Account Sir quoth Sancho to his Master I have at last reluc'd my Wife to let me go with your Worship where-ever you 'll have me Reduc'd you would say Sancho said Don Quixote and not reluc'd Look you Sir quoth Sancho if I an 't mistaken I have wish'd you once or twice not to stand correcting my Words if you understand my Meaning If you don 't why then do but say to me Sancho Devil or what you please I understand thee not and if I don't make out my Meaning plainly then take me up for I am so forcible I understand you not said Don Quixote interrupting him for I can't guess the Meaning of your Forcible Why so Forcible quoth Sancho is as much as to say Forcible That is I am so and so as it were Less and less do I understand thee said the Knight Why then quoth Sancho there 's an end of the Matter it must e'en stick there for me for I can speak no better Oh! now quoth Don Quixote I fancy I guess your Meaning you mean Docible I suppose implying that you are so ready and apprehensive that you will presently observe what I shall teach you I 'll lay an even Wager now said the Squire you understood me well enough at first but you had a Mind to put me out meerly to hear me put your fine Words out-a-joint That may be said Don Quixote but prithee tell me what says Teresa Why an 't please you quoth Sancho Teresa bids me make sure Work with your Worship and that we may have less Talking and more Doing that 't is good to be certain that Paper speaks when Beards never wag that a Bird in Hand is worth two in the Bush One Hold-fast is better than two I 'll give thee and I say a Woman's Counsel is not worth much yet he that despises it is no wiser than he should be I believe so too said Don Quixote but pray good Sancho proceed for thou art in an excellent Strain thou talk'st most sententiously to Day I say quoth Sancho as you better know your-self than I do that we 're all mortal Men here to Day and gone to Morrow as soon goes the young Lamb to the Spit as the old Weather no Man can tell the Length of his Days for Death is deaf and when he knocks at the Door Mercy on the Porter He 's in Post haste neither fair Words nor foul Crowns nor Mitres can stay him as the Report goes and as we are told from the Pulpit