Wrinkle or any such thing And this I beg with all Humility and Devotion that I am able to do upon the Account and for the Sake of my ever Blessed Redeemer and Advocate concluding in that Heavenly Prayer He Himself hath taught me saying Our Father c. A Prayer for the Author or Reader O Lord assist me so with Thy Blessed Spirit that all that I have now Written or Read in this foregoing Work may always be fresh upon my Heart and Soul and grant me O God that at this time I may pour out my Soul unto Thee upon my bended Knees in such like Prayers and Supplications that may be prevalent with Thee my Heavenly Father to guard and defend me this Day from all manner of Sins and power of Temptations whatsoever More especially against all those Sins that do so easie beset me and meet me at every turn those Sins thou knowest O Heavenly Father are my familiar and prevailing Sins that now by the special Concurrence of thy Blessed Spirit I may be able to strike at the very root of them all and like David kill the Goliah Give me O Lord a true rectify'd Spirit Sanctify'd throughout to overcome all Infirmities and Corruptions of Human Nature And that I may betake my self sincerely to the great Business of the Salvation of my Soul And that with the Blessed Apostle I may run the Race that is set before me looking unto Christ Jesus the Author and Finisher of my Faith who for the Joy that was set before him endur'd the Cross despis'd the shame and now is set at the Right Hand of God daily to make Intercession for me For him O Heavenly Father hast thou highly exalted and given him a Name above all other Names that at the Name of Jesus every Knee should how both of things in Heaven and of things on Earth O sweet Jesu O blessed Jesu who can but bow to Thee and supplicate to Thee and pour out their Prayers and Tears to Thee that left the bosom of Thy Father and all the Adorations and Chorus's of Saints and Angels and came down from Heaven to suffer the cursed and ignominious Death of the Cross for my Sins to have thy tender Hands that were always doing of Good and healing Diseases and thy blessed Feet that always kept the steady Paths of Eternal Life now to be turn'd twisted extended distorted disjointed and Nail'd to the Cross to drink the Vinegar and Gaul of Thy Father's high Displeasure for my great and grievous Sins to have Thy most sacred Sides pierc'd and to gush out with Water and Blood To see Thee all over sweating and pouring down Streams of Blood from the Crown of Thy Head to the Foot of the Cross and to suffer all this for my great grievous hainous Sins and abominable Iniquities Nay further O Dear Jesu to see Thee endure and to lie under Thy Father's Wrath and the pressure of all these Agonies and Torments which made Thee bitterly to cry out My God my God Why hast thou forsaken â—e O Lord What shall I do Who is able to behold Thee longer Who can but love Thee and in loving Thee adore Thee with infinite unbounded and unmeasurable Love and desire earnestly to be Dissolved and to be with Thee But if it is Thy good Pleasure to spare me longer let the true Love and perfect sense of all this Love and Suffering of Thine my Dear Lord and Saviour help me to live up to that exact Pattern thou hast left me here of Meekness Lowliness Humility Charity Forgiveness Bowels of Pity and Compassion and that a perfect sense of Thy Crucifixion may always be fresh in my Heart and Soul that so it may beget in me a compleat hatred and dread of all Sins that in the whole Course of my remaining Life I may be preserved and defended from the like Sins that I run not the danger of Eternal Damnation And that the inexhaustible Bowels of Thy Mercy may take pity of me so that I Crucifie Thee not again but being delivered from all Iniquities by thy most mighty Power may with finishing my Course here be receiv'd into the open Arms of Thy Eternal Salvation And this I most heartily beg upon the bended Knees of my Soul for Thy sake only and upon the alone account of Thee my Dear Lord and Saviour and ever-blessed Redeemer and Advocate Amen and Amen A Death Bed Meditation I Owe to God a Death as his Son did for me Ever since I have been born I have been sailing to this Haven and gathering Patience to comfort me in this Hour therefore should I be one of those Guests that would not come to the Banquet when they were invited What hurt is there is going to Sleep In going to Paradise I shall lose nothing but the Sense of Evils and anon I shall have greater Joys than I feel Pains for my Head is in Heaven already to assure me my Soul and Body shall follow after O Death Where is thy Sting Why should I fear that which I would not escape because my chief Happiness is gone before and I cannot have it unless I go to it I would even go through Hell it self for Heaven and therefore if I march but through Death I suffer less than I would for God My Pains do not dismay me because I Travel to bring forth Eternal Life My Sins do not fright me because I have Christ my Redeemer there The Judge doth not astonish me because I have the Judges Son my Advocate The Devil amazes me not because the Angels pitch their Tents about me The Grave grieves me not because I know it was my Lord's Bed O that God's Mercy to me might move others to love him For the less I can express of it the more it is The Prophets and the Apostles are my Fore-runners every Man will go before or follow after If it please God to receive me into Heaven before them that serv'd him better what Thankfulness do I owe him and because I have deferr'd my Repentance till this Hour whereby my Salvation had been cut off had I dy'd suddenly How doth my God in his Infinite Mercy to prevent my Destruction call me by this lingring Sickness and prepares me for my End and makes me by wholsome Pains weary of this beloved World lest I should depart unwillingly like to those whose Death is their Damnation Thus he loves me while he beats me and his Stripes are Plaisters to cure my Sores therefore who shall love him if I displease him This is my whole Business now to strengthen my Body with my Heart and to be contented as God hath appointed until I can Glorify him or He me If I live I live to Sacrifice If I dye I dye to my Saviour for Christ my Saviour is Sacrificed for me and therefore should I fear Death I have not that Faith and Hope I have profess'd but I doubted of God's Truth in his Promises Whether or no he will forgive Penitent Sinners which I sear not Come Lord Jesus for now thy Servant cometh into thy Everlasting Arms of Mercy I commit my Soul into thy Hands O Heavenly Father Come Lord Jesus come quickly A Letter written to his Friend in his Sickness Beloved I Marvelled not that you have Pain for you are Sick but I marvel that you cover it not for Offences because the Wisdom of Man is to bite in his Gpief and always to shew more Comfort in God than Pain in Suffering Now God calleth to Repetitious to see whether you have learn'd more Patience and Constancy than others If Sickness be sharp make it not more sharp by frowardness But know this is a great Favour to us when we dye by Sickness that makes us ready for God when he calls us Now you have nothing to think upon but God and you cannot think upon him without Joy Your Grief passes away but your Joy will never Tell me Friend or Patient How many Stripes is Heaven worth Is my Friend only Sick in the World or his Faith weaker than others You have always Pray'd Thy Will be done and are you now offended that God's Will is done How hath the Faithful Man forgot that all things even Death if self turn to the best to them that love God Teach the Happy O Lord to see his Happiness through Troubles Every Pain is the prevention of the Pain of Hell Every Ease in Pain is a fore-tast of the Ease and Peace and Joys in Heaven Remember therefore your own Comforts to others before and be not impatient when there is most need of Patience but as you have ever Taught us to Live so now give us an Example to Dye and deceive Satan as Job did FINIS
what place the Lord my King shall be whether in Death or Life even there also will thy Servant be 2 Sam. 15.19 20 21. And as Ruth said to her Mother-in-Law Naomi Entreat me not to leave thee nor to return from following after thee for where thou goest I will go where thou lodgest I will lodge they People shall be my People and thy God my God where thou dyest I will dye and there will I be buried The Lord do so to me Ruth 1.16 17. and much more also if ought but Death part thee and me Saith Peter So is my Heart knit to thee dear Master Peter I know that thou lovest me and therefore Satan hath a desire to sift thee and try thee as he did Job but I have prayed for thee that thy Faith fail thee not Job ch 1. Then Jesus goeth to Gethsemane for his hour being now come and taketh with him only three of his Disciples Peter James and John they being the three appointed by their Lord and Master to see the said Tragedy Peter because his chief Disciple to whom he should commend the Care of his Church which e're long was to suffer great Persecution James the last of the Disciples yet the first that was to suffer for the Gospel's sake and therefore most fit to see his Master betray'd that his Master's meekness and patience in suffering might be a pattern and example to him who e're long must follow And John the most beloved Disciple of Jesus whom Peter ask'd his Master But of this Disciple that lean'd on thy Breast at Supper-time and first said Whom it is Lord that shall betray thee What shall this man do Saith Jesus to him If I will that he tarry till I come what is that to thee Follow thou me Yet most Holy Jesus thou that knowest all things probably for such-like Reasons took these only along with thee and said unto them My Soul is exceeding sorrowful even unto Death Tarry ye here and watch with me And be went a little farther and fell on his face to the ground and prayed O my Father if it be possible let this Cup pass from me nevertheless not as I will but as thou wilt For tho' Jesus as Man fear'd the approaching danger that was coming upon him and just now ready to seize him and therefore was in this great Agony sweating drops of Blood falling to the ground yet as God it was mutually agreed upon already in the great Court of Heaven between his Father and Himself that this was the only way could be found out for the Redemption of fallen Man For God so loved the World that he have bis only begotten Son to death for it that whosoever believeth in him might not perish but have everlasting life therefore as God God-Man was resolv'd to fulfil his Father's Will Father all things are possible to thee but if this Cup shall not pass Thy Will be done O Holy Father And he cometh to his Disciples again a second time but finding them asleep saith to Peter Simon Why sleepest thou Could not you watch with me one hour You know what I have Pray'd for already Watch and Pray now lest you enter into Temptation The Spirit indeed Peter I know is willing but the Flesh it weak O Holy Jesu what Sweetness and Love is this of thine that even at the very minute that thou wert to be betrayed thou shouldest pity the Infirmities of thy Servants that even now thou hadst commanded to Watch and Pray and yet even in this very last minute found them sleeping one would rather have thought thou shouldst have been extremely angry with them but instead of that thou excusest their fault This sweetness and this behaviour of thine and compassion of Humane Infirmities will draw all Men to thee Christ knew at this time that shortly he was to suffer for the Sins of the whole World in what nature and kind soever as to the aggravation and heinousness of them and might he not then very well pass by the Infirmities of his beloved Disciples when he knew that their Sleep proceeded partly from their Trouble and Sorrow Jesus leaveth them again and goeth a Third time and prayeth more earnestly and cryeth louder and sweateth much greater drops of Blood than before O Righteous Father if it be possible let this Cup pass from me but yet Holy Father thy Will be done O my Soul where am I The devout Soul hearing the Cry seeketh after our Saviour Where O Watchmen Where am I Where is my Beloved Where is he gone aside My Soul melteth away I hear his Cry but I know not where to find him I am sure it 's his Voice but I know not which way to go the dark Night hath conceal'd him from my Sight but not from my Heart His Cry pierceth my Soul O good Watchmen Dear Watch-men Where shall I find him whom my Soul loveth and longeth for Hark! Hark! He cryes louder and louder Help Help What 's the matter dear Saviour I cannot find thee I know not where thou art sometimes thy Voice seemeth near and sometime farther off sometimes on this side os me and sometimes on that sometimes before me and sometimes behinds whether from the Walls and Vaults of Jerusalem or whether from the Brook Cedron or from the Trees in the Garden or from all these places together these uncertain Sounds and Eccho's come I know not they perplex me and confound me I cannot find thee I know not where thou art Direct me Lord the way I know thou art the Way the Truth and the Light but I know not where to find thee thus at a distance this dark Night Direct me Lord the way Speak Dear Lord and thy Servant heareth My Soul is attentive to thy Call but I am not able to bear longer thy Cry O quickly Dear Saviour quickly Tell me but where I shall find thee What No Directions yet Dear Jesu O! dear Watchmen for the Lord's sake for my dear Saviour's sake for my poor Soul's sake tell me tell me for why should I be as one that turneth aside from the Flocks of thy Companions Saith the Watchmen we cannot longer endure to hear thee cry and make such moan We suppose you may find him in or about the Garden of Gethsemane We believe the Cry comes that way We can hear it easily but it is beyond our Bounds we must not nor dare not go beyond our own Precincts especially without the Gates of the City and more especially when there is so great a Noise and Tumult abroad we know not how soon there may be an uproar here and therefore we must keep our Posts upon Life and Death let what will come of it otherwise some of us would go along with you to direct you and light you along but that is the way I but are you sure the Cry and Noise comes from thence That we are not sure but this we are sure of That a great Company and
thy Spirit is willing but thy Flesh is weak How ready and willing is the Saviour of the World to accept of any drowsy inclinations or endeavours of his Servants in his Service if their Hearts be but sincere The Disciples slumber yet Christ trims their Lamps O infinite Love of the Son of God! to excuse and save poor drowsy Sinners For this Cause was he toucht with our infirmities and took upon him our human Nature This was the Cause of our Saviours interceding for us with his Father for our Lives O infinite Love of the Son of God! that whilst we were yet Sinners Christ dy'd for us Now let us follow him to the Judgment-Hall Carry'd to the Judgment-Hall to be arraign'd but first to Anna's House and not like Peter stand at a distance from him and at last deny him but rather be a sharer with him in his Death and pray with the Thief upon the Cross for Eternal Life They carry him first before Annas the High-Priest Caiphas's Uncle and in the way to his House to see what he could find against him This was one of the Great Council that consulted how they might take Jesus of Nazareth King of the Jews and put him to Death This was he that deliver'd to Judas the thirty pieces of Silver out of the Treasury after they had all agreed upon it but when he was brought before him and he saw the Witnesses could not agree together upon their Examination that they might have longer time to lay their Heads together and more readily agree in their Accusation sends them to his Nephew Caiphas they being both High-Priests that year When he comes before Caiphas he Examines him and finding they could not yet agree in their accusing him rather than he should want full Witnesses against him and for that let him go he with the rest of them that were assembled together for the very purpose all the High-Priests and Elders and the Scribes for many there were that did bear false Witness against him but their Witnesses agreed not yet together Now the Great Assembly being all met as I said before to this very end and purpose and consulted and agreed thus farther of him He hath of late raised Lazarus out of the Grave after he had been sour days dead and began to stink and many of the Jews believe on him already from the Miracles that he daily sheweth amongst them and more especially for this Miracle that he wrought even now of raising Lazarus from the Dead and it is not barely a Report to make a noise for a while but it is as to Matter of Fact a very great Truth and a Miracle for some of us both heard him say at the Graves Mouth Lazarus come forth and he immediately as soon as this Man had call'd thus to him he that was dead came forth bound hands and feet with Grave-Cloaths about him and a Napkin upon his Head And this Man Jesus commanded some that stood by to loose him and let him go and many of the Jews that were there believed on him and went away with Mary and Jesus but we came to acquaint you what we have both seen and heard John 11.43 Then the Chief Priests and Elders John 11.47 with the Scribes and Pharisees further consulted and said What do we for this Man doth many Miracles and if we let him thus alone all Men will believe on him and the Romans will come and take away from us both our Place and Nation Caiphas said unto them ye know nothing at all nor consider that it is expedient for us Caiphas prophesies against himself that one Man should dye for the People and that the Nation perish not and this he spake not of himself but God order'd it so that the Prophecy should come out of his own Mouth and this being Recorded as his Opinion doth still remain that out of his own Mouth himself should be condemn'd at last And so from that day forward they took Counsel together to put him to Death John 11.53 And when they saw that all their Machinations and Contrivances prevail'd nothing to the purpose at last they hir'd two Soldiers and gave them Money to come and swear against him in the High Priests Hall And they with a loud and clamarous Voice exalted above the rest with open Mouth say This Fellow said I am able to destroy the Temple of God and to raise it again in three days And so he were this being all Truth but he spake of his Body as the Apostle Paul saith Our Bodies are the Temples of the Holy Ghost That in three days time he should raise it from the Grave But these two Fellows nor his Judges had not yet known the Scriptures nor the power of God Then said the High Priest Is it true what these two witness against thee But Jesus held his peace Then said the High Priest I adjure thee by the Living God to tell us whether thou art Christ the Son of the Living God And Jesus when it was put thus home to him in these three great Truths Art thou Christ the Son of the Living God Answered I am Then the High Priest rent his Cloaths and said What need we any further witness against him Ye have all heard now how he hath Blasphemed What think ye And they all with one consenting Voice condemn'd him to be guilty of Death Matth. 26.60 6 62 63 64. Mark 14.58 to thâ— 64. Then they began to spit upon him and to buffet him and strike him with the Palms of their hands and to revile him as a Pestilent Fellow and one that sow'd Sedition and Rebellion amongst them and they blind-folded him and smote him on the Face and said unto him Prophesie now unto us Christ who it was that struck thee And at last finding they could not agree together as to the putting of him to death and to pass Sentence upon him for they all acquiesc'd in the just Merits of his Condemnation yet he must be first sent to Pontius Pilate their Chief Governor But before we come to that we must observe the Words of our Blessed Jesus verify'd concerning Peter one of the beloved Disciples who follow'd after his Master to the High Priest's Hall to hear what they said of him and did with him And happy are they O Peter that have once deny'd their Saviour that bought them with Cursing and Swearing and bitter Execrations to find a door of Mercy ready open upon their Repentance to receive them again and immediately embrace them And now Peter what do I observe here But thou that wast the greatest Votary to thy Master and the forwardest to follow him to his dismal Trial where were all kind of the most wicked Profligate Wretches that could be pickt out amongst the Jews Scribes and Pharisees that were best and most notoriously qualify'd with Cursing and Swearing with Reviling Blasphemy and Perjury such that they had cull'd out on purpose that were qualify'd
Multitude of Soldiers ran that way and said nothing but ran apace whispering amongst themselves Some carry'd with them Swords others carry'd Staves and Halbards and Candles and Lanthorns in their hands We believe it 's some great matter they are gone about they carry it with so much secrecy as they go along but we cannot think it is for Jesus of Nazareth because we did see Judas one of the Lord's Disciples amongst them Hark! the Cry is louder indeed now I don't know what to think of it but there 's the ready way O my dear Lord have I found thee What in Blood Soul in the depth of thine Agony with violent Sweats and drops of Blood runing down thy Face and crying to thy thy Father too What 's the matter dear Lord Speak quickly to my Soul or else I sink and dye I cannot longer forbear having run my self quite out of breath with thy grievous Cry Grievous indeed it must needs be that maketh the Son of God sweat and cry and bleed thus I am striving and strugling praying Christ sweating and bleeding for thy Salvation with my Father's Wrath and Indignation but thy Sins are so great so heinous and grievous that nothing will satisfie him but thy Eternal Death which thou alas art never able to endure the Wrath and Indignation of an incensed and enraged God against thee I have been pleading and interceding with my Heavenly Father offering up strong Prayers and Tears for thy Atonement but all will not do A Life must be given and I have offered my own if nothing else will satisfie Not my Will but thy Will be done It must be so and the unalterable and uncontrouled Decree of the Almighty must be fulfilled and I come willingly as in the Volume of the Book it is written of me to do thy Will O God And behold here they are to whom I am betray'd Whom is it you seek for Soldiers with your Lanthorns and Torches Whom is it you look for Jesus of Nazareth I am he What gaze you for I tell you I am he The Signal was before agreed upon That whomsoever Judas kiss'd him they must seize therefore the strict Order before concluded of and delivered to them must punctually be observed lest a discovery should be made and they seize the wrong and the King of the Jews make his escape The Plot being laid thus cunningly and warily before-hand they must not too rashly nor unadvisedly proceed but stood looking earnestly till the Signal should be given Judas thô the dark Night conceal me from thy Sight yet here I am The hour is now come that the Son of Man must be betray'd into the hands of Sinners Then Judas came and cry'd Hail Master Judas betrays him and kissed him and straight way or forthwith they laid violent hands on him What makes you come thus with Swords and with Staves Judas as if I were a Thief and a Robber And they began immediately to spit in his Face and one of the Soldiers smote him on the Cheek with the Palm of his hand and asked him who struck him But Jesus said to Judas take me and lead me away and thy own Salvation too I have a Baptism to be Baptiz'd with and O how I long till it is accomplisht Peter endeavours his Master's Rescue But Peter as soon as he saw what inhumane rudeness they offer'd to his Lord and Master hastily drew his Sword and cut off one of the Ears of the High Priest's Servants Then Jesus rebuked Peter and said put thy Sword up into the Sheath He that useth the Sword let him perish by the Sword The Cup that my Father giveth me shall I not drink it John 18. v. 8. 11. Thinkest thou not Peter that if I would resist I would pray to my Father and he would presently give me more than twelve Legions of Angels to rescue me but how then shall the Scriptures be fulfill'd And it pleased the Lord to bruise him and put him to Grief when his Soul shall make and Offering for Sin he shall see his Seed he shall see of the Travel of his Soul and be satisfied By his knowledge shall my Righteous Servant justifie many for he shall bear their Iniquities Isa ch 53. v. 10 11. But stay O Malchus what Malchus's Ear healed wilt thou still persist in this bloody Deed and wicked Proceedings Wilt thou not hear the Voice of thy God in this Fray Thou shedd'st but a drop of Blood from thy Ear and thy Saviour Sweats not only drops of Blood in his Agony praying for thy Soul but also his Heart bleeds for thee and he takes immediately Compassion of thee and stretch'd forth his hand and cur'd thy Ear And could not this Miracle of the Lord of Life toward thee work perfectly upon thee to endeavour thy Physicians Rescue but still wilt thou go on to drag and hale him before the Judge Will not the immediate Touch of the Hand of God cure thy wounded Soul as readily as thy wounded Body Will not this Miracle of Christ and Love of his to thee persuade thee That he is Christ the Son of the Living God Wilt thou remain ignorant still of thy Saviour and Salvation How many of the Multitude that follow'd Christ would have thought themselves happy to have been blest with such a Touch yea that it might be but the Hem of his Garment Well if thou wilt still proceed in persecuting him he will proceed in praying for thee with the rest of thy Confederates Peter Was this the effect of thy Passion Christ reproved Peter just rous'd from sleep and begin to fight When saw'st thou such Weapons used in my School Was ever any thing but Prayers and Tears my Defence Hast thou overslept and neglected thy God and now fall immediately to fighting Couldst not thou and thy Brethren have watch'd and pray'd with thy Saviour for one hour especially when wak'd and stirr'd up by thy Master and when he had so lately told you the time was at hand in which he must be betray'd and by one of thy Brother Disciples Shouldst not thou rather have endeavour'd to have watch'd the time of his coming and dissuaded him from his intended Wickedness especially when thou hadst seen thy Saviour exceeding sorrowful even to Death Was he earnestly praying and in his Agony sweating drops of Blood dropping upon the Ground for thee And couldst not thou be watching for him but sit sleeping upon the Ground with the rest of thy Companions Or if you had been so extremely sleepy could you not have took your turns one after another This Peter is great neglect of so good a Master Was he striving and struggling sweating and praying to his Heavenly Father for thy Soul and couldst not thou be watching of his Body But he being upon the Work of Salvation excuses thy Infirmity from the Consideration of thy frail human Nature that was not able to undergo one single hours watch I know Peter
of the whole World he suffered and endured here on Earth for us which made him bitterly complain and cry out Behold and see all ye that pass by if there were ever any Sorrow like to my Sorrow any Wounds and Torments like mine which I have receiv'd in the House of my friends Canst thou receive suffer and endure all this for our Sins and still call us friends Canst thou O Holy Jesu still cry call suffer bleed and dye for us and yet pray for us and still be an Advocate for us and a compleat Redeemer O infinite O unlimited O unbounded O inconceiveable O inexpressible O incomprehensible Love of God to us that so loved the World than he gave his only begotten Son to Death for us for us Sinners wicked Sinners apostatizing Sinners even dead in Trespasses and Sins and all this Peter thou art not ignorant of Now Peter more particularly to thy self The First Denial of Peter And as Peter was beneath in the Palace there cometh one of the Maids of the High Priest and when she saw Peter warming of himself amongst the Croud she looked steadfastly upon him and said in derision Thou also wast with Jesus of Nazareth but he denied saying I know not neither do I understand what thou sayest And he went out into the Porch as fearing they might seize on him tho' but the Night before he had said Tho' all forsake thee yet will not I But he still lingers and stays not that he intended to suffer and dye with his Master as he had promised but only had a mind to see what would become of his Master and to hear what they did say to him for now was the time that our Saviour told him The Devil will tempt you Peter Satan hath a mind to winnow thee as Wheat but I have prayed for thee and well were it for thee Peter that whatever thy Master endur'd for thee in his Sacred Body yet he had secur'd thy Soul I have prayed for thee thy Faith fail thee not And as he was standing in the Porch the Cock crew the first time but as yet neither the Time nor the Scripture was fulfilled nor did Peter take any notice of it Mark 14.68 And while he was yet in the Porch The Second another Maid saw him and said unto them that were likewise with her This very fellow pointing to him was also with Jesus of Galilee and when he had heard what she said he flatly denied with an Oath I know not the man Matth. 26.71 72. How now Peter now I see the Devil is tempting thee indeed Hast thou so much forgot thy self and thy Duty to so good and so great a Master Are all his Miracles forgot by thee Are all his Lessons Instructions and Sermons or Sayings forgot by thee Are his very last and dying Words too forgot by thee And are thy own Promises and Engagements to thy departing and dying Saviour forgot by thee This is a great Crime indeed Peter and in all Ages and Times hath been accounted most abominable and unworthy not to fulfil the Request of our dying Friends and Relations and also not to perform our Promises to their dying Person and last Gasp and especially for thee Peter who hadst so dear and tender a Lord and Master that had took such pains with thee and care of thee whose Words one would have thought could never have been forgot by thee more especially not so soon and at this very instant when thou wast so near as to hear how thy Heavenly Master was confronted and abused and most wrong fully impeach'd and most falsely accus'd yet not to reminiscentiate the words of thy Master but when thou wast so peremptorily charg'd thou so flatly denied Well Peter thou wilt pay for this at last It 's well thou hast a friend in Court Then came one of the Servants of the High Priest The Third being his Kinsman and whose Ear Peter had out off charges him home and says Did not I see thee in the Garden with him And dost not thou very well know I have a just Quarel against thee And this is a fit place for it for cutting off my Ear when I laid hands of your Master in the Garden Look here and behold the mark I still bear of my Ear for thee and if it were not that my Kinsman was so busie with thy Master and I do not know how soon I may be called and therefore am unwilling to create another Fray and Disturbance otherwise I would make thee an Example and make you know you was thee I have no so quickly forgot you nor your Ear-mark neither John 18.26 And moreover if you should deny and lye never so much if there were no more in it but your Speech your very Speech it self is enough to betray you Then began Peter when he had heard all this to Curse and to Swear with all the Execrations imaginable and positive Denials I never saw before this time the Man neither do I know him and immediately the Cock crew Matth. 26.74 And the Lord turned back and looked steadfastly on Peter and Peter seeing that remembred the Words of his Master how he had said unto him Before the Cock crow twice thou shalt deny me thrice and he went out and wept bitterly Luk 22.61 62. Now Peter art thou in the Gaul of Bitterness and in the Bond of Iniquity now thou know'st not where to hide thy head now the very Arrows of the Almighty pierce the very Soul of thee now thou seest thou art fallen Let him that standeth take precaution by thy Example lest he fall in the same manner thou hast done What! deny thy Master Peter thy Saviour and thy Redeemer And what with such abominable Oaths and positive Denials This would make the very dumb Ass to open his Mouth and upbraid thy unparalell'd unkindness Thou alone Peter to be the Man to deny thy Lord and Master who had the most reason of any of the Disciples to have own'd him because present with him and hearing the Ignominy and notorious Slanders that they impudently spake against him thy own Conscience bearing thee Witness O how with Cain Peter complaining and praying for himself am I branded with my Infamy My Sins are greater than I am able to bear O that some one would even slay me What! deny my Master My Lord and Master my God! my Saviour and my Redeemer and my ever blessed Jesus What! and three times and with Cursing and Swearing too that I did not know thee O sweet Jesu not thee what not know thee O heavenly Jesu that brought me up from the beginning that converted me to the Faith that made me one of thy Disciples and not the least neither one that thou more remarkably took'dst notice of and care for and foretold me of this very present hour of Satan's Tempting me and pray'd earnestly for me to be deliver'd from this fatal hour O blessed Jesu well was it
God Let them in scorn and derision be Crucifying my Saviour between two Malefactors as the chiefest of them I in the greatest bitterness of my Soul will be pouring out the most ardent of my Prayers with Sighs Groans and Tears that are unutterable to remember me both now whilst thou art on the Cross and as soon as thou art exalted in thy Kingdom of Glory O God! the Son Redeemer of the World have mercy upon me miserable Sinner By the mystery of thy Holy Incarnation By thy Nativity and Circumcision By thy Fasting Baptism and Temptation Good Lord deliver me By thy Agony and Bloody Sweat By the Cross and Passion By thy precious Death and Burial By thy Glorions Resurrection and Ascension And by the coming of the Holy Ghost Good Lord deliver me O Son of God! I beseech thee to hear me O Lamb of God! that takest away the Sins of the World Grant me thy Peace O Christ hear me O Lord hear me O Lamb of God that takest away the Sins of the World have Mercy upon me Lord have mercy upon me Christ have mercy upon me O Lord hear me and remember me now now thou art giving up thy most precious Life and pouring out thy innocent harmless and compassionate Soul Remember me when thou com'st into thy Kingdom What can a poor Soul beg more and desire more of its Redeemer at the point of Death Or what can be given or done more by an ever-blessed Saviour and Holy Jesu to save us from the Jaws of Death Power of Hell and Eternal Torments Than to be pouring out his own Soul by Prayers and Tears to his Heavenly Father at the very last minute of his precious Life for us But stay O blessed Jesu What is it I perceive and see still in this black and dismal hour O Lord Is it thee still in thy Agony and bloody Sweat It is so dark I can but just perceive thee Is it not finisht yet What say'st thou Lord now to my poor fainting dying Soul Speak Lord one word of comfort to me notwithstanding all thy Adversaries and implacable Enemies about thee Speak Lord and thy Servant heareth Speak Lord and my Soul shall live If thou art so faint thou can'st not speak in this grievous Conflict let thy good Prophet speak for thee Wherefore when I came was there no man to help When I call'd was there none to answer Do you think I am past Saving of you or Delivering of you in this time of my Dereliction Tho you all forsake me in this hour of my Crucifixion I do not forsake you my Children my Flock and my poor Lambs my Redeemed and the purchas'd of my Soul Is my Hand shortned at all though nail'd to the Cross that I cannot Save or that I cannot Redeem Or have I no power to deliver Behold at my Rebuke I dry up the Sea I make the Rivers a Wilderness The Fish stinketh and dieth for Thirst because there is no Water I cloath the Heavens with blackness and I make Sack loth their covering I make the Earth to quake and tremble and it would tumble down to the Eternal Abiss but that I bear up the Pillars of it at this very moment that I am bleeding and dying upon the Cross Let the Jews have as vile and mean thoughts of me as they please and cast all their scorn and malice mixt with their cruel rage and poison at me It 's I that make the Rocks to rent the Sun to gather paleness and the Moon to be turn'd into Blood Notwithstanding that all the Scriptures might be fulfill'd and my Redeem'd Ones the Purchas'd of my Soul set at liberty I give my Back to the smiters and my Cheeks to them that pluck't off my Hair I hid not my face from shame and spitting for the Lord Gâ—d doth and will help my Soul and sustain it Whatever my Body doth or shall cry out and say therefore I shall not be confounded therefore I have set my Face like a Flint and know that I shall not be asham'd He is near that justifieth me Who will contend with me Let us stand together Who is my Adversary Let him come near Behold the Lord will help me Who is he that will condemn me Lo they shall all wax old as a Garment and the Moth shall eat them up Who is it amongst you that feareth the Lord Who obeyeth the Voice of hit Servant that walketh in darkness and hath no light Let him trust in the Name of the Lord and stay himself upod his God Behold all ye that kindle a Five that compass your selves about with sparks walk in the light of your Fire and in the sparks that ye have kindled this shall ye have of my hand ye shall lie down in sorrow Isa 50. But my Soul draw near or else thou wilt lose the sight of thy Saviour Darkness hastens on a-pace O Holy Jesu is it not thee Let me wipe and drain my dim and almost spent and blind Eyes and look again Lord it is thee I still perceive thy Tears distilling down thy sacred Face Thy Temples boiling out of Spirituous Blood Thy Sacred Hands and Feet blubbering up and venting out from behind the Nails great Bladders of Blood and Froth from the expulsive force of thy most exquisite Torments O Lord even now my Soul fainteth and dieth within me My Spirits fail me My poor Mortal Eyes and tender fainting Heart is not able to behold thee longer Nor yet while my Life and Strength remains can I forbear when an interval of Tears will permit my sight looking after thee still and pouring forth my fervent and frequent requests to thee and falling into these most strict Examinations within my self What! From the Sixth till almost the Ninth Hour is my dear Saviour in the height of this vehement Agony and not over yet But still labouring and groaning under the burthen of my Sins What great and heinous Sin of mine is it that I am guilty of that is not aton'd yet That God is so extremely incens'd at and that he will not yet pardon That my poor Saviour is yet struggling for till the last drop of his most Precious Blood is exhausted Let me look immediately into my Soul into every corner and crany of it all must out and be discover'd of what nature or quality soever it be whether Lying Cursing Swearing and Forswearing Theft Murther Fornication Adultery Incest Pollution with the Dead or Copulation with Beasts Blasphemy Spite and Contempt against thy Holy Word and Sacraments O quickly quickly quickly help me O my God to find it out and to bring all to remembrance that thou mayest no longer be extorted and convuls'd in these grievous Torments Look upon me dear Saviour and cast quickly thy dying Eye towards me Christ cast his dying Eyes to a Supplicant Sinner as thou didst upon Peter in the High-Priest's Hall denying thee that I may immediately remember it seeing thy Righteous Father is so exact
Saviour of the World O where Where My distracted Soul Where Where shall I run Where shall I fly to find my Saviour Whom shall I enquire of Where shall I go Whom shall I find to direct my perplexed Soul Flesh It 's dark stormy and tempestuous If it were never so dark and dismal I will go I cannot longer stay Thou art warm and safe in Bed and within doors why shouldest thou disturb thy self Peace lye still and take thy rest I may lye still and slumber a little but I cannot rest I sleep but my Heart waketh Hark I Hark again It is the Voice of my Beloved that cryeth out and he knocketh as he passeth by Christ passâ—th by to the Garden of Gethsemane to see whether I will receive him and let him in I hear him speak Open to me my Sister my Love my Dove my Vndefiled for my Head is filled with Dew and my Locks with the Drops of the Night Lord What 's the matter What makes him abroad now What 's the matter I am sure more than ordinary I will rise and let him in Thou hast put off thy Clothes how canst thou put them on in the dark Moreover thou hast wash'd thy Feet why should'st thou defile them again I stand not upon these Curiosities of my sinful Flesh that must e're long crumble in the Dust My Beloved hath put in his band by the bole of the Door and my Bowels are troubled for him I cannot rest I must and will rise I have opened the Door to my Beloved but he is withdrawn and is gone My Soul even faileth within me The Rude Multitude persuing our Saviour I hear a confused Noise at a distance I called after the Noise but he gave me no answer and I have sought for him about the door but cannot find him well I will after him I stand not upon the exactness of Dress nor the danger of the Night I will along the Street and as near as I can follow A truly gracious Soul touch'd once with the love of God will follow him at his Call and no hazard or difficulty can obstruct or hinder its eager pursuit after its dear Jesu the good Shepherd of its Soul My Sheep hear my Voice and they follow me John 10.3 4. Pardon me if I here make a little digression Christ commits the care of his scattered Flock to Peter and anticipate the words of our Saviour to Peter Happy art thou O Peter that the Saviour of Souls deems thee worthy to be his deputed Shepherd and commits his Flock to thy vigilant Care before he left the World they were near and dear to him they were the purchas'd of his Soul He carrieth his Lambs his tender Lambs in his Arms and gently leadeth those that are with Young therefore Peter you very well know the value I have for them and the belief I have in you Take care I say to feed my little Flocks beside or near the Shepherd's Tents Peter be not angry that I ask you again and again Do you love me Do you love me more than all Yea Lord thou know'st that I love thee Then feed my Sheep feed my Lambs and see that none of them be lost I know all their Names and I bear them all in my Heart as the High-Priest did the Tribes in his Breast and I carry them all to Heaven with me whither I am now preparing with all speed after I have eaten with you Where I am there they shall be also And it came to pass when Jesus had finished all these sayings be said unto his Disciples Ye know that after two days is the Feast of the Passover Christ foretels his being apprehended and the Son of Man is betrayed to be crucified Then assembled together all the Chief Priests and the Scribes and the Elders of the People unto the Palace of the High-Priests which is called Caiphas and consulted that they might take Jesus by subtilty and kill him but not on the Feast day lest there be an uproar among the People Matth. 26. For Annas the High-Priest had at that time agreed with Judas to betray his Master and had given him thirty pieces of Silver out of the Treasury and Judas with them craftily concluded it should be in the Night for better security and freer from disturbance Now the first day of the Feast of unleaven'd Bread being come the Disciples came to Jesus and ask'd him Where he pleas'd they eat the Passover Jesus saith unto them Go two of you into the City to such a Man's House and tell him The Master saith My time is at hand I will keep the Passover at thy House this night Accordingly they went and made ready the Passover and when Even was come he sate down with the Twelve and as they did eat he said Verily I say unto you that one of you will betray me and they were exceeding sorrowful and began every one of them to say into him Lord Is it I And he answered and said The same that dippeth his hand with me in the Dish shall betray me The Son of Man goeth as it is written of him but wo unto that Man by whom the Son of Man is betrayed It had been good for that man if he had never been born Judas being near unto our Lord and hearing this sharp precaution and the fore-knowledge that his Master had of his design would seem before the rest of the Disciples to be as innocent of the thing as any of them that were so exceedingly troubled and therefore ask'd his Master Is it I Not thinking that Jesus could or if he could that he would point-blank charge him with it yet notwithstanding his Master said Thou hast said Now Judas was startled at all this yet for covetousness and lucre of the Money having already receiv'd it would not go back And as they were eating Jesus rook Bread and blessed it and brake it and gave it to his Disciples and said Take eat this is my Body which is broken for you this do in remembrance of me and he took the Cup in like manner and gave thanks and gave it to them saying Drink ye all of it for this is the Blood of the New Testament shed for many for the remission of Sins But I say unto you Luke 22.20 I will not henceforth drink of the fruit of the Vine till I drink it new with you in my Fathers Kingdom And when they had sung an Hymn they went out Jesus saith unto them Ye shall all be offended because of me this night For it is written I will smite the Shepherd and the Sheep shall be scatter'd Peter saith Tho' all be offended yet will not I. Jesus saith unto him Before the Cock crow twice thou shalt deny me thrice Peter saith unto him I will be with thee my Lord both in Life and Death And as Ittai said to David As the Lord liveth and as my Lord the King liveth surely in
hang'd himself Matth. 25.5 AND now O most Holy Jesu let this Blessed Spirit further assist me in this great Work to present thee Dear Lord to the Life to my Devout Soul that it may the more perfectly see thee in all thy Agony Passion Death Burial Resurrection and Ascension and to admire thee and adore thee most Blessed Lord and Saviour in the greatest humiliation and adoration a poor Creature is able to do as thou art daily interceding for me at the Throne of Heaven And this I beg upon the bended Knees of my Soul in thy own Name and for thy own sake who art my Lord and Saviour and Ever-Blessed Redeemer and Advocate Amen But now to proceed on with this wicked Tragedy of the Jews After Judas had Hang'd himself the Chief-Priests took the Silver-pieces and said It is not lawful to put them into the Treasury because it is the price of Blood And they consulted together and bought the Potters Field to bury Strangers in wherefore that Field is call'd the Field of Blood to this day Then was fulfill'd that which was spoken by Jeremiah the Prophet saying And they took the Thirty pieces of Silver the price of him that was valued whom they of the Children of Israel did value and gave them for the Potters Field as the Lord appointed Jesus carried before Pilate But the High Priests took Jesus and bound him and sent him away very early it being a work of darkness to Pilate and they themselves came after to accuse him Pilate entring the Tribunal Seat ask'd them What Accusations they did bring against this Man they answer and say in in general If he were not a Malefactor we would not have deliver'd him up to you Pilate being unwilling to meddle in this Affair perceiving it was for envy they accus'd him and not any thing of a just Offence Pilate ask'd them Why they did not proceed against him and judge him according to their Law and not to trouble him The Jews said unto him It is not lawful for us to put any Man to death that the saying of Jesus might be fulfill'd which be spake signifying what Death he should dye as he himself had prophesi'd of himself And they shall deliver him to the Gentiles to mock and to scourge and to crucifie Then Pilate enter'd the Judgment-Hall and when he saw no body come against him calls to Jesus and said unto him Art thou the King of the Jews Thinking happily he might trap Jesus in his words but Jesus as cautiously ask'd him another Question Hast thou said this thing of thy self or did others tell it thee of my Pilate answer'd him Am I a Jew Thy own Nation and the Chief Priests have deliver'd thee to me What hast thou done For as yet none can testifie any thing against him for they had not as yet their pretended Fact ready whereby to accuse him moreover they found Pilate to be very strict in his Examination and very unwilling to be both Accuser and Judge and made them not willing to answer to any particulars till they had drawn up full Proof against him seeing a General Charge had no Influence upon Pilate Jesus said unto Pilate my Kingdom is not of the World Pilate therefore said unto him Art thou a King then Jesus answered Thou sayest that I am a King For this Cause was I born and for this Cause came I into the World that I should bear witness to the Truth What is the Truth saith Pilate Jesus answered Every one that is of the Truth heareth my Voice Pilate then goes out to the Jews and tells them If they had nothing else to say against Jesus of Nazareth he must and will discharge him for be for his part found no fault in him at all John 18.29 to 38. Then when they heard this rather than he should be discharg'd the whole Multitude ran in with open Mouth and began to accuse him saying If we must come to Particulars we are prepared We found this Fellow teaching Sedition and Rebellion and endeavouring to pervert the Nation from paying Tribute to Caesar and saying That himself is Christ a King saith Pilate I have heard of this already and I will hear no more of it I must discharge him if this is all you have to say for I tell you I can find no fault in the Man Then they were the more fierce against him but all to no purpose saying He stirreth up the People Teaching throughout Jury beginning from Galilee to this place Pilate being now quite wearied out with this Nonsense and hearing he was a Galilean knew that he belong'd to Herod's Jurisdiction and turns him over to him Luke 23.8 whom he knew to be at Jerusalem at that time Jesus carried before Herod and therefore sends Jesus to him who had been desirous of a long season to see him because he had heard many things of him and hoped to see some of his Miracles done by him Then Herod begins to Interrogate Jesus and finding he could get nothing from him nor no Miracles to be done by him and being most vehemently accused by the Chief Priests and Elders saying all manner of Evil against him that the subtilty of Men or Devils could invent for they distrusted to have any good done by Pilate and therefore concluded this was the last Stake they had to play and thereupon resolv'd to make the best of it They said that He pretended to be a King and had forbid them to pay Tribute to any Earthly Monarch and that he did frequently sow Sedition amongst the People and moreover said He could destroy the Temple and build it again in three days But he answered nothing to all this Moreover Herod was informed they had been before Annas and Caiphas and that their Witnesses could not agree together and that Pilate could find no just Accusation of Death against him and upon that account had sent him to him which he took very kindly from Pilate and upon this occasion they Two were made friends which before had been at Variance and Enmity for a great while Notwithstanding Herod calls a Council of his Mighty Men and they debate the Matter amongst themselves but yet could find no cause of Death in him more than the violency of the People so that Herod was neither willing to release him nor yet to condemn him but He and his Nobles make sport with him awhile set him at nought mock'd him and arrayed him in a Purple Robe others a White Robe out of derision to his Regal Power and on purpose to render him more the peoples Scorn and the more to enflame their merciless Cruelty and thus return him back again to Pilate with Thanks and a great Compliment for the grand favour he had done him in sending this Malefactor the King of the Jews to him I have Rob'd him and given him what Ignominy and Despite I thought convenient but as for his Death or to condemn him belongs not
to my Province but more immediately to you under Tiberius Caesar's Government And thus our Dear Lord and Saviour the Lord of Life and Glory is carried first to Annas then to Caiphas then to Pilate afterwards to Herod and now back to Pilate again toss'd and tumbled up and down and permitted no where to rest but posted and hurried from one Court Council and Judgment-Seat to another and none could yet determine the Matter but blind-folded spit upon and struck in one Court bound mock'd set at nought and array'd in another thump'd and revil'd in another and scourg'd and buffeted almost in all but yet not acquitted or discharg'd in any Well might he bitterly complain Foxes have holes and the Birds of the Air have Nests but the Son of Man hath not where to lay his Head Now a second time is our dear Jesus brought before Pilate from Herod's Court Jesus carried before Pilate a second time Pilate being now much concern'd at the Clamour abroad that was made against Jesus of Nazareth by the most rude and common people that run more by Tumult and Cry than Reason and Judgment and it appearing all along to be perfect unheady inconsiderate malice Pilate resolves to trouble himself no more with this sort of Cattle but now he was minded to hear what the Chief Priests and Rulers had to say of themselves Luke 23.13 You have brought this Man before me again What have you to say against him And finding they had no more to say than what they had said to Herod before That he was a Receiver and one that perverted the People from their Duty and Allegiance to the King and calls himself a King Says Pilate I have been credibly informed that in one of his Speeches he made to the People he exhorted them quite contrary to give Tribute to whom Tribute is due Custom to whom Custom is due And moreover to give to Caesar the things that are Caesars and to God the things that are Gods And we have all read the Scriptures and we know that they are all full and abound every where almost with Predictions of a Saviour and of a Messias and of a Christ and of a King of the Jews and this may be the Man as far I know This we are all sure of that he hath given shrewd Demonstrations of his Godhead and Power and why may he not be your King Forthwith they all cry'd out with one Acclamation We will have no King but Caesar But hold saith Pilate If I must be his Judge I must ground my Reasons upon good clear full and agreeable Evidence before I can condemn him I am not yet free to condemn I profess plainly I have great Anxities of Mind and there is one thing that continually disturbs my Mind of late that I meet with in my Thoughts at every turn and that is That strange Miracle that was wrought by him of late which none of you can be ignorant of and that is the raising of Lazarus from the Dead after he had been in the Grave four days and began to stink This is a very great thing and a wonderful Miracle let us rather permit him a while to go on farther with his Miracles and if he be the Son of God more and greater Wonders than these will appear but if he be a Pseudo-Christus a false Christ or a false Prophet we will immediately condemn him But say the Jews if we let him go on thus and he should do more Miracles the Romans will come in upon us and take away from us both our Nation and Synagogues Now when Pilate saw they still persisted in this envious and malicious Impeachment saith he Ye have brought this Man here before me as one that seduceth the people Behold Gentlemen Silence in the Court Cryer I must speak plainly behold there he stands I have examined him according to the strictness of the Law and with as great Subtilty as I am capable of and I have cross-examin'd him to see if I could trap him in his words but I profess before you all I find no fault at all in this man touching those things whereof you accuse him Nay Silence Gentlemen I pray and hear me a little farther You your selves very well know I was willing to give you all the satisfaction that possibly I could I did not clear him nor acquit him the time before tho' I might justly have done it for there was nothing from your Accusations that was worthy of Bonds or Imprisonment much less of Death yet to please you seeing you were so eager of his Death and withal to satisfie my self of Herod's Opinion I sent you your selves with him bound before Herod and I know you have no mean thoughts of Herod's Judgment and you know I suppose that his opinion was That he found nothing worthy of Death in him but hath return'd him back again to me Luke 23 11 15. I will therefore chastise him and let him go Moreover you know that you have a Custom that I should release unto you one at the Passover I will therefore release unto you the King of the Jews then they came all in crowding at the Door and crying at once with a lond voice Away with this Man and release unto us Barabbas Now Barabbas was one that for Robbery and Murder in the City was cast into Prison Pilate being willing to release Jesus spake again to them But they cry'd saying Crucifie him Crucifie him Matth. 23.19 20 21. Pilate resolv'd then to see if the following Severity to the ever blessed Jesu would satisfie them Pilate then took Jesus and scourg'd him and the Soldiers platted a Crown of Thorns and put it upon his Head Well might Isaiah say of the Sin of the Jews Your Hands are defiled with Blood for now were our blessed Saviour's Back and Sides all in a Gore-Blood The Chastisement of our Peace was upon him and by bit Stripes we are boaled Surely be bath born our Griefs and carried our Sorrow yet we did esteem him stricken smitten of God and afflicted He is despised and rejected of Men a Man of Sorrows and acquainted with Grief which made the Cry break out of his Sacred Mouth Behold If any Sorrow be like unto my Sorrow And Isaiah further tells how his Disciples would leave him at this time And we hid as it were our Faces from him And the Soldiers platted a Crown of Thorns and put it upon his Head and they put on him again the Purple Robe that Herod had array'd him in and said Hail King of the Jews and smote him with their hands and bowing he Knee worshipp'd him in Scorn and Derision to his Kingly Attire with his Sacred Temples pouring down Blood from the Crown of Thorns fasten'd into them which made him say The Arrows of the Almighty stick fast in me Lord who is able to behold thee in this miserable scourg'd and bleeding condition Thy Face besmear'd and daub'd with the precious Blood of