fauour of the great Ne fearest foolish reprehension But freelie dost of what thee list intreate Like a great Lord of peerelesse libertie Lifting the good vp to high honors seate And th' euill damning euermore to die For life and death is in thy doomefull writing Whereas thou saist the Asse in a manner is the only Author I alleadge I must know how you define an Asse before I can tell how to answere you for Cornelius Agrippa maketh all the Philosophers Oratours and Poets that euer were Asses and if so you vnderstand that I alleadge no Author but the Asse for all Authors are Asses why I am for you if otherwise thou art worse than a Cumanâ— Asse to leape before thou lookst and condemne a man without cause What Authors dost thou alleadge in thy booke not two but any Grammer Scholler might haue alleadgd There is not three kernels of more than common learning in all thy Foure Letters Common learning not common sense in some places Of force I must graunt that Greene came oftner in print than men of iudgement allowed off but neuerthelesse he was a daintie slaue to content the taile of a Tearme and stuffe Seruing mens pockets An Asse Gabriel it is harde thou shouldst name him for calling mee Calfe it breakes no square but if I bee a calfe it is in comparison of such an Oxe as thy selfe The chiefetaines of licentiousnes and truth can say the abhominable villanies of such base shifting companions good for nothing c. I am of the mind wee shall not disgest this neither Answere me succinctè expeditè what one period any way leaning to licentiousnes canst thou produce in Pierce Pennilesse I talke of a great matter when I tell thee of a period for I know two seuerall periods or full pointes in this last epistle at least fortie lines long a piece For the order of my life it is as ciuil as a ciuil orenge I lurke in no corners but conuerse in a house of credit as well gouerned as any Colledge where there bee more rare quallified men and selected good Schollers â—han in any Noblemans house that I knowe in Engltand If I had committed such abhominable villanies or were a base shifting companion it stoode not with my Lords honour to keepe me but if thou hast saide it canst not proue it what slandrous dishonor hast thou done him to giue it out that he keepes the committers of abhominable villanies and base snifting companions when they are farre honester than thy selfe If I were by thee I woulde plucke thee by the beard and spit in thy face but I would dare thee and vrge thee beyonde all excuse to disclose and prooue for thy heart bloud what villanie or base shifting by mee thou canst I defie all the worlde in that respect Because thou vsedst at Cambridge to shift for thy Friday at night suppers and cosen poore victuallers and pie-wiues of Doctours cheese and puddinges thou thinkst me one of the same religion too What Greene was let some other answere for him as much as I haue done I had no tuition ouer him he might haue writ another Galataeo of manners for his manners euerie time I came in his companie I saw no such base shifting or abhominable villanie by him Something there was which I have heard not seene that hee had not that regarde to his credite in which had beene requisite he should VVhat a Calimunco am I to plead for him as though I were as neere him as his owne skinne A thousande there bee that haue more reason to speake in his behalfe than I who since I first knew him about town haue beene two yeares together and not seene him But I le doe as much for any man especially for a deade man that cannot speake for himselfe Let vs heare how we are good for nothing but to cast awaie our selues spoile our adherents praie on our fauourers dishonour our Patrons Haue I euer tooke any likelie course of casting away my selfe VVhom canst thou name that kept me company and reapt any discommoditie by mee I can name diuers good Gentlemen that haue beene my adherents and fauourers a long time Let them report howe I haue spoilde them or praid on them or put them to one pennie detriment since I first consorted with theÌ„ Haue an eie to the maine-chaunce for no sooner shall they vnderstand what thou hast said by mee of them but they le goe neere to haue thee about the eares for this geare one after another My Patrons or anie that bind me to them by the least good turne there is no man in England that is or shall for my small power bee more thankefull vnto than I. Neuer was I vnthankefull vnto any no not to those of whome for deedes I receiued nothing but vnperformed deede promising words It is an honor to be accusde and not conuinst One of these months I shall challenge martirdome to my selfe and writ large stories of the persecution of tongues Troth I am as like to persecute as be persecuted Let him take vp his Crosse and blesse himselfe that crosseth mee for I will crosse shinnes with him though euerie sentence of his were a thousande tunnes of discourses as Gabriel saith euerie sentence of his is a discourse Quods quods giue mee my Text pen againe for I haue a little more Text to launce The secretaries of art and nature if it were not for friuolous contentions might bestead the commoÌ„-welth with manie puissant engins As for example Bacons brazen nose Architas wodden doue dancing bals fire breathing gourdes artificiall flies to hang in the aire by themselues an egshell that shall run vp to the toppe of a speare Archimides made a heau'n of brasse but we haue nothing to do with olde brasse and iron Appollonius Regimontanus did manie pretie iugling tricks but wee had rather drinke out of a glasse than a Iugge vse a little brittle wit of our owne than borrow any miracle mettall of Deuils Amongst all other stratagems and puissant engins what say you to Mates Pumpe in Cheapeside to pumpe ouer mutton and porridge into Fraunce this colde weather our souldiors I can tell you haue need of it and poore field mise they haue almost got the colicke and stone with eating of prouant Consider of it well for it is better than all Bacons Architas Archimedes Appollonius or Regiomontanus deuices for Gabriell that professeth all these with all their helpe cannot make the bias bowle at Saffron Walden run downe the hill when it is throwne down with the hardest hand that may bee but it will turne vp the hill againe in spite of a mans teeth and that which is worst giue no reason for it The Parrat and the Peacock haue leisure to reuiue repolish their expired workes you speake like a friend we le listen to you when you haue repolished and expired your perfected degree A Demy Doctor what a shame is it Because your books do call for a litle more
of winning credite by his workes as thou dost that dost no good workes but thinkes to bee famosed by a strong faith of thy owne worthines his only care was to haue a spel in his purse to coniure vp a good cuppe of wine with at all times For the lowsie circumstance of his pouerty before his death and sending that miserable writte to his wife it cannot be but thou lyest learned Gabriell I and one of my fellowes Will. Monox Hast thou neuer heard of him and his great dagger were in company with him a month before he died at that fatall banquet of Rhenish wine and pickled hearing if thou wilt needs haue it so and then the inuentorie of his apparrell came to more than three shillings though thou saist the contrarie I know a Broker in a spruce leather ierkin with a great number of golde Rings on his fingers and a bunch of keies at his girdle shall giue you thirty shillings for the doublet alone if you can helpe him to it Harke in your eare hee had a very faire Cloake with sleeues of a graue goose turd greene it would serue you as fine as may bee No more words if you bee wise play the good husband and listen after it you may buy it ten shillings better cheape than it cost him By S. Siluer it is good to bee circumspect in casting for the worlde there 's a great many ropes go to ten shillings If you want a greasy paire of silk stockings also to shew your selfe in at the Court they are there to be had too amongst his moueables Frustra fit per plura quod fieri potest per pauciora It is policie to take a rich penni-worth whiles it is offred Alas euen his fellow writer that proper yoong man almost scorns to cope with thee thou art such a crow troden Asse dost thou in some respectes wish him well and spare his name in some respects so doth hee wish thee as well hoc est to be as well knowne for a foole as my Lord Welles and promiseth by me to talke very sparingly of thy praise For thy name hee will not stoupe to plucke it out of the mire and put it in his mouth By this blessed cuppe of sacke which I now holde in my hand and drinke to the health of all Christen soules in thou art a puissant Epitapher Yea thy Muses foot of the twelues old long Meg of Westminster Then I trowe thou wilt stride ouer Greenes graue and not stumble If you doe wee shall come to your taking vp Letter Here lies the man whom Mistris Isam cround with bays She she that ioyd to heare her Nightingales sweete lays Comment Here Mistris Isam Gabriel floutes thy bays Scratch out his eyes that printeth thy dispraise She she will scratch and like a scritching night-owle come and make a dismal noise vnder thy chamber windowe for deriding her so dunstically A bigge fat lusty wench it is that hath an arme like an Amazon and will bang thee abhominationly if euer shee catch thee in her quarters It is not your Poet Garish and your forehorse of the parish that shall redeeme you from her fingers but shee will make actuall proofe of you according as you desire of God in the vnder following lines The next weeke Maister Bird if his inke-pot haue a cleare current hee will haue at you with a cap-case full of French occurrences that is shape you a messe of newes out of the second course of his conceit as his brother is said out of the fabulous abundance of his braine to haue inuented the newes out of Calabria Iohn Doletas prophesie of flying dragons commets Earthquakes and inundations I am sure it is not yet worne out of mens scorn for euery Miller made a comment of it and not an oyster wife but mockt it When that fly-boat of Frenchery is once launcht your trenchor attendant Gamaliel Hobgoblin intends to tickle vp a Treatise of the barly kurnell which you set in your garden out of which there sprung as you auouched twelue seuerall eares of corne at one time Redoubted Parma was neuer so matcht if hee kindle the match of his meeterdome and let driue at him with a volley of verses Let not his principalitie trust too much to it because his name is Latin for a shield for Poet Hobbinoll hauing a gallant wit and a brazen penne will honourably bethinke him and euen ambitiously frame his stile to a noble emulation of Liuie Homer and the diuinest spirites of all ages as hee hath done to the emulation of Tullie heeretofore when hee compiled a Pamphlet called Ciceranis Consolatio ad Dolobellam and publisht it as a newe part of Tullie which had bin hidde in a VVall a thousand and odde yeares and was found out by him before it euer found beeing The circumstance was this going downe the water at Cambridge one summer euening and asking certaine questions of the Eccho at Barnewell wall as the manner is passing by holding her verie narrowly to the poynt she reuealed vnto him what a treasure shee had hidden amongst her stones namely this new part of Gabrielis Cicenonis consolatio ad Dolobellam and though she was verie loath to disclose it yet because shee knewe not how soone God might call her videlicet how sodainely shee might fall to discharge her conscience before her death shee would deliuer it vp as freely vnto him as euer it was hers come and digge for it hee shoulde haue it Neuer more glad was shee in her life that since shee must needes surrender it to the light she had chaunst vppon such a Cardinall Corrigidore of incongruitie and Tullies nexte and immediate successour vnder Carre to whose carefull repolishing she might commit it Keepe it quoth she No if it were a booke of golde it is THINE reade it new print it dedicate it from thy gallery at Trinitie Hall to whom thou wilt VVhether hee vsde a spade or a mattocke for the vnburying of it I know not but extant it is and of a hundred I haue heard that it is his O Gabriell if thou hast any manhood in thy starcht peake looke vpon me and weepe not From this day forward shall a whole army of boies come wondring about thee as thou goest in the street and cry kulleloo kulleloo with whup hoo there goes the Ape of Tully tih he he steale Tully steale Tully away with the Asse in the Lions skinne Nay but in sadnesse is it not a sinful thing for a Scholler a Christian to turne Tully a Turke would neuer doe it Be counsaild in thy calamitie write no more Consolatios ad Dolabellam but Consolatio ad Doctorē Gabrielem thy selfe comfort thy selfe and learn to make a vertue of contempt Ad ruentem parietem ne inclina is a Prouerbe which would haue preuented all this if thou couldst haue sufferd thy selfe to haue beene directed by it for first and formost hadst not thou stept forrh to vnder-prop the ruinous wall of
drinke and a fewe more clothes when they are gone to bed that is when they lie dead you thinke ours should do so too No no we doe not vse to clappe a coat ouer a ierkin or thrust any of the children of our braine into their mothers wombe againe beget them a new after they are once borne If it bee a horne booke at his first conception let it be a horne booke still and turne not cat in the panne conuert the Pater noster to a Primer when it hath begd it selfe out at the elbowes vp and downe the cuntrey Thou didst thou knewst not what in eeking this thy short-wasted Pamphlet iwis as thou saist of thy selfe Thou art an old trewant fitter to plaie the dumbe dogge with some antients than the hissing snake VVho be those antient dumbe dogs we shal haue you a Martinist when all comes to all because you cannot thriue with the Ciuill Law and that you may marry her for any thing you are a kindred to her therfore you wil compare Whitegift and Cartwright white and blacke together name the highest gouernours of the Church without giuing them anie reuerence or titles of honour imbrace anie religion which will be euen with the profession that fauors not you There is no baile or maine prise for it but wee must haue you in the first peeping forth of the spring preaching out of a Pulpit in the woods you haue put on wolues raiment already seduced manie simple people vnder the habit of a sheepe in Wolfes print If you protest lie any more it is not your ending here like a sermon that will make you bee reputed for a saint Readers a decaied student lately shipwrackt with Si vales bene est hauing foure Lightors of Letters cleane cast away on the rocks called the Bishop his Clarks desires you all to pray for him and he will recommend you all to God in the next sermon he penneth for his brother Richard He hath a mind to pay euery man his owne though hee hath sustained great losse in fight that which he cannot effect he beseecheth the Lord to accomplish and euen to worke a miracle vpon the deafe Lord if it be thy will let him be an Asse still Gentlemen I haue no more to say to the Doctor dispose of the victorie as you please shortly I will present you with some thing that shal be better than nothing onely giue mee a gentle hire for my durtie day labor and I am your bounden Orator for euer Sonnette Were there no warres poore men should haue no peace Vncessant warres with waspes and droanes I crie Hee that begins oft knows not how to cease They haue begun I le follow till I die I le heare no truce wrong gets no graue in mee Abuse pell mell encounter with abuse Write hee againe I le write eternally Who feedes reuenge hath found an endlesse Muse If death ere made his blacke dart of a pen My penne his speciall Baily shall becum Somewhat I le be reputed of mongst men By striking of this duns or dead or dum Awaite the world the Tragedy of wrath What next I paint shall tread no common path Aut nunquam tentes aut perfice Tho. Nashe Obseruations for the Readers of this booke Item whatsoeuer for the most part is here in this booke in change of letter is our aduersaries owne Text and vnvaried words either in this his conuicted Foure Letters or some other fustie treatise set forth by him heretofore Thou that I am wrested and vtterly diuorced from my owne inuention constrained still still before I am warme in any one vaine to start away sodainely and follow him in his vanitie Finally Printers haue many false â—iches which are thus to hee drawen vp In the second page of C. for Baboune brother reade Baboune his brother in the 7. for allâ—gorized Abdias reade allegorized Abdias in the 8. for set hand reade set his hand idem for heaâ—men read headman in the first of D. for Liuor post quiescat reade Liuor post â—ata quiescat in the 5. for plaistâ—… of Doctourship reade plaistrie or dâ—…ing of Doctourship in the 7. for insolent inckehorne worme reade insolent incke worme in the 2. of E. for Asse in present read Asse in presenti in the 3. for bestow vpon reade bestow vpon him in the 5. for effect read efficacie in the 4. of F. for vertuous 5yr Iohn Norris read victoâ—…ious Syr Iohn Norris in the 5. page of H. for I introduce in a discontented Scholler read I introduce a discontented Scholler in the 8. for His assentrion reade His assertion in the 5. of I. for verie companie reade verie timpanie in the 5. page of K. for in this first case reade first in this case FINIS