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A02079 The blacke bookes messenger Laying open the life and death of Ned Browne one of the most notable cutpurses, crosbiters, and conny-catchers, that euer liued in England. Heerein hee telleth verie pleasantly in his owne person such strange prancks and monstrous villanies by him and his consorte performed, as the like was yet neuer heard of in any of the former bookes of conny-catching. By R.G. Greene, Robert, 1558?-1592. 1592 (1592) STC 12223; ESTC S105894 14,911 30

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who in the ende was crossebitten her selfe and thus it fel out She compacted with a Hooker whom some call a Curber hauing before bargained with the Gentleman to tell her tales in her eare all night hee came according to promise who hauing supt and going to bed was aduised by my wife to lay his clothes in the window where the Hookers Crome might crossbite them from him yet secretly intending before in the night time to steale his money forth of his sléeue They beeing in bed together slept soundly yet such was his chaunce that he sodenly wakened long before her being sore troubled with a laske rose vp and made a double vse of his Chamber pot that done he intended to throw it forth at the window which the better to performe he first remoued his clothes from thence at which instant the spring of the window rose vp of the owne accord This sodaiuly amazed him so that he leapt backe leaning the chamber pot still standing in the window fearing that the deuill had béen at hand By by he espyed a faire iron Crome come marching in at the window which in steade of the dublet and hose he sought for sodenly tooke hold of that homely seruice in the member vessell and so pluckt goodman Iurdaine with all his contents downe pat on the Curbers pate Neuer was gentle Angl●r so drest for his face his head and his necke were all besmeared with the soft ●●rreuerence so as hee stunke worse than a ●akes Farmer The Gentleman hearing one cry out and séeing his messe of altogether so strangely taken away began to take hart to him and looking out perceiued the Curber lye almost brained almost drowned well neare poysoned therewith where at laughing hartily to himselfe hee put on his owne clothes and gotte him secretly away laying my wiues clothes in the same place which the gentle Angler soone after tooke but neuer could she get them againe till this day This Gentlemen was my course of life and thus I got much by villany and spent it amongst whores as carelessely I sildome or neuer listened to the admonition of my fréendes neither did the fall of other men learne me to beware and therefore am I brought now to this end yet little did I think to haue laid my bones in Fraunce I thought indéed that Tyburne would at last haue shakt me by the necke but hauing done villany in England this was alwaies my course to slip ouer into the Low Countries and there for a while play the souldiour and partly that was the cause of my comming hither for growing odious in and about London for my filching lifting nipping foysting and cros-biting that euery one held me in contempt and almost disdained my companie I resolued to come ouer into Fraunce by bearing Armes to winne some credite determining with my selfe to become a true man ●ut as men though they chaunge Countries alter not their minds so giuen ouer by God into a reprobate sence I had no féeling of goodnes but with the dogge fell to my elde vomit and héere most wickedly I haue committed sacrilege robd a Church and done other mischéeuous pranks for which iustly I am condemned and must suffer death whereby I learne that reuenge deferd is not quittanst that though God suffer the wicked for a time yet hee paies home at length for while I lasciuiously lead a carelesse life if my friendes warned mée of it I scoft at them if they told me of the gallowes I would sweare it was my destenie and now I haue proued my selfe no lyar yet must I die more basely and bée hangd out at a window Oh Countrymen and Gentlemen I haue helde you long as good at the first as at the last take then this for a farewell Trust not in your owne wits for they will become too wilfull oft and so deceiue you Boast not in strength nor stand not on your manhood so to maintain quarrels for the end of brawling is confusion but vse your courage indefence of your country and then feare not to die for the bullet is an honorable death Beware of whores for they be the Syrens that draw men on to destruction their swéet words are inchantments their eyes allure and their beauties bewitch Oh take héede of their perswasions for they be Crocodiles that when they wéepe destroy Truth is honorable and better is it to be a poore honest man than a rich wealthy théefe for the fairest end is the gallowes and what a shame is it to a mans fréends when hee dies so basely Scorne not labour Gentlemen nor hold not any course of life bad or seruile that is profitable and honest least in giuing your selues ouer to idlenesse and hauing no yéerly maintenance you fall into many preiudiciall mischiefs Contemne not the vertuous counsaile of a frend despise not the hearing of Gods Ministers scoffe not at the Magistrates but feare God honor your Prince and loue your country then God will blesse you as I hope he will do me for all my manifolde offences and so Lord into thy hands I commit my spirit and with that he himselfe sprung out at the window and died Hereby the way you shall vnderstand that going ouer into Fraunce he neare vnte Arx robd a Church was therefore condemned and hauing no gallowes by they hangd him out at a window fastning the roape about the Bar and thus this Ned Browne died miserably that all his life time had béene full of mischiefe villany sleightly at his death regarding the state of his soule But note a wonderfull iudgement of God shewed vppon him after his death his body béeing taken down buried without the towne it is verified that in the night time there came a company of Wolues and torehim out of his graue and eate him vp where as there lay many souldiers buried many dead carcasses that they might haue prayde on to haue filled their hungry paunches But the iudgments of God as they are iust so they are inscrutable yet thus much we may coniecture that as he was one that delighted in rapine and stealth in his life so at his death the rauenous Wolues deuoured him pluckt him out of his graue as a man not worthy to be admitted to the honor of any buryall Thus haue I set downe the life and death of Ned Browne a famous Cutpurse and Conny-catcher by whose example if any be profited I haue the desired ende of my labour FINIS
agréed to me and we bet a bargaine that I should haue his Wife and he should haue mine conditionally that I should giue him siue poundes to boote which I promised though he neuer had it so wée like two good Horse-corsers made a choppe and change and swapt vp a Rogish bargaine and so he maried my wife and his Thus Gentlemen did I neither feare God nor his lawes nor regarded honestie manhood or conscience but these be trifles and veniall sinnes Now sir let me boast of my selfe a little in that I came to the credite of a high Lawyer and with my sword fréebooted abroad in the country like a Caualier on horsebacke wherein I did excell for subtelty For I had first for my selfe an artificiall haire and a beard so naturally made that I could talke diue and sup in it and yet it should neuer bee sp●ed I will tell you there rests no greater villany than in this practise for I haue robbed a man in the morning and come to the same Inne and bayted yea and dyned with him the same day and for my horse that he might not be knowne I coulde ride him one part of the day like a goodly Gelding with a large tayle hanging to his féetlockes and the other part of the day I could make him a Cut for I had an artificiall taile so cunningly counterfeited that the Ostler when hee drest him coulde not perceiue it By these pollicies I little cared for Hues and Cries but straight with disguising my selfe would outslip them all and as for my Cloake it was Tarmosind as they doe tearme it made with two outsides that I could turne it how I list for howsoeuer I wore it the right side still séemed to be outward I remember howe prettily once I serued a Priest and because one death dischargeth all and is as good as a generall pardon heare how I serued him A merrie tale how Ned Browne vsed a Priest I Chaunced as I road into Barkeshire to light in the company of a fat Priest that had hanging at his saddle how a capcase well stuft with Crowns that he went to pay for the purchase of some lands Falling in talke with him as communication will growe betwixt trauellers I behaued my selfe so demurely that he tooke me for a very honest man was glad of my company although ere we parted it cost him very deare and amongst other that he questioned me if I would sell my horse for hee was a faire large Gelding well spread and forheaded and so easily and swiftly paced that I could well ride him seauen mile an houre I made him answere that I was loth to part from my Gelding and so shapte him a slight reply but before wee came at our ba●●te hee was so in loue with him that I might say him no nay so that when wee came at our Iune and were at dinner together we swapt a bargain I had the Priests and twenty Nobles to boote for mine Well assoone as we had chang●e I got mee into the stable and there secretly I kuit a haire about the horse féetlock so straight vpon the veine that hee began a little to checke of that foote so that when he was brought foorth the horse began to halt which the Priest espying marueld at it and began to accuse me that I had deceiued him Well quoth I tis nothing but a blood and assoone as hee is warme hee will goe well and if in riding you like him not for twenty shillings losse Ile change with you at night the Priest was glad of this and caused his saddle to be set on my gelding and so hauing his Capcase on the saddle pummell rode on his way and I with him but still his horse halted and by that time we were two myles out of the towne hee halted right downe at which the Priest chaft and I saide I wondred at it and thought he was prickt bad him alight and I would see what he ayled and wisht him to get vp of my horse that I had of him for a mile or two and I would ride of his to trie if I could driue him from his hault The Priest thankt me and was sorrowfull and I féeling about his foote crackt the haue asunder and when I had done got vp on him smiling to my selfe to sée the Capcase hang so mannerly before mée and putting spurs to the horse made him giue way a little but beeing somewhat stiffe he halted for halfe a mile and then began to fall into his olde pace which the Priest spying said Me thinks my Gelding begins to leaue his halting I marry doth hée Maister Parson quoth I I warrant you hele gallop too fast for you to ouertake and so good Priest farewell and take no thought for the carriage of your Capcase With that I put spurres to him lustily and away flung I like the wind the Parson calde to mee and sayde bee hoped that I was but in ieast but he found it in earnest for he neuer had his horse nor his capcase after Gentlemen this is but a ieast to a number of villanies that I haue acted so gracelesse hath my life béene The most expert and skilful Alcumist neuer tooke more pains in experience of his mettals the Phisition in his simples the Mecanicall man in the mysterie of his occupation than I haue done in plotting precepts rules axiomes and principles how smoothly and neately to foist a pocket or nyppe a bung It were too tedious to holde you with tales of the wonders I haue acted séeing almost they bee numberlesse or to make report how desperately I did execute them eyther without feare of God dread of the Law or loue to my Country for I was so resolutely or rather reprobately giuen that I held Death only as Natures due and howsoeuer ignominiously it might happen vnto mée that I little regarded which carelesse disdain to die made me thrust my selfe into euery braule quarrell and other bad action whatsoeuer running headlong into all mischiefe neyther respecting the ende nor foreséeing the danger and that secure life hath brought me to this dishonorable death But what should I stand heere preaching I liued wantonly and therefore let me end merrily and tel you two or thrée of my mad prauks and so bid you farewell Amongst the rest I remember once walking vp and downe Smithfield very quaintly attired in a fustian dublet and buffe hose both layde downe with golde lace a silke stocke and a new Cloke I traced vp and downe verie solempnly as hauing neuer a crosse to blesse me withall where béeing in my dumps there happened to me this accident following A pleasant tale how Ned Brown kist a Gentlewoman and cut her purse THus Gentlemen beeing in my dumps I sawe a braue Countrey Gentlewoman comming along from saint Bartlemewes in a satten Gowne and foure men attending vpon her by her side shée had hanging a maruellous rich purse embroydred and not so faire without but it
THE BLACKE BOOKES MESSENGER Laying open the Life and Death of Ned Browne one of the most notable Cutpurses Crosbiters and Conny-catchers that euer liued in England Heerein hee telleth verie pleasantly in his owne person such strange prancks and monstrous villanies by him and his Consorte performed as the like was yet neuer heard of in any of the former bookes of Conny-catching Read and be warnd Laugh as you like Judge as you find Nascimur pro Patria by R. G. Printed at London by Iohn Danter for Thomas Nelson dwelling in Siluer streete neere to the signe of the Red-Crosse 1592. To the Curteous Reader Health GEntlemen I knowe you haue long expected the comming foorth of my Blacke Booke which I long haue promised and which I had many daies since finished had not sickenes hindered my intent Neuerthelesse be assured it is the first thing I meane to publish after I am recouered This Messenger to my Blacke Booke I commit to your curteous censures being written before I fell sick which I thoght good in the meane time to send you as a Fayring discoursing Ned Brownes villanies which are too many to bee described in my Blacke Booke I had thought to haue ioyned with this Treatise a pithy discourse of the Repentance of a Conny-catcher lately executed out of Newgate yet for asmuch as the Methode of the one is so far differing from the other I altered my opinion and the rather for that the one died resolute and desperate the other penitent and passionate For the Conny-catchers repentance which shall shortly be published it containes a passion of great importance First how he was giuen ouer from all grace and Godlines and seemed to haue no sparke of the feare of God in him yet neuerthelesse through the woonderfull working of Gods spirite euen in the dungeon at Newgate the night before he died he so repented him from the bottome of his hart that it may well beseeme Parents to haue it for their Children Masters for their seruants and to bee perused of euery honest person with great regard And for Ned Browne of whome my Messenger makes report hee was a man infamous for his bad course of life and well knowne about London Hee was in outward shew a Gentlemanlike companion attyred very braue and to shadowe his villany the more would nominate himselfe to be a Marshall man who when he had nipt a Bung or cut a good purse he would steale ouer into the Lowe Countries there to tast three or foure Stoapes of Rhenish wine and then come ouer forsooth a braue Souldier But at last hee leapt at a daysie for his loose kind of life and therefore imagine you now see him in his owne person standing in a great bay windowe with a halter about his necke ready to be hanged desperately pronounsing this his whole course of life and confesseth as followeth Yours in all curtesie R. G. A Table of the words of Artlately deuised by Ned Browne and his associates to Crosbite the old Phrases vsed in the manner of Conny-catching HE that drawes the fish to the bait the Beater The Tauerne where they goe the Bush. The foole that is caught the Bird. Connycatching to be called B●tfowling The wine to be called the Shrap The Cards to be called the Li●twigs The fetching in a Conny beating the bush The good Asse if he be woone stooping to the Lure If he keepe aloofe a H●ggard The verser in conny-catching is called the Retriuer And the Barnacle the pot hunter THE LIFE AND death of Ned Browne a notable Cutpurse and Conny-catcher IF you thinke Gentlemen to heare a repentant man speake or to tel a large tale of his penitent sorrowes ye are deceiued for as I haue euer liued lewdly so I meane to end my life as resolutely and not by a cowardly confession to attempt the hope of a pardon ●et in that I was famous in my life for my villainies I will at my death professe my selfe as notable by discoursing to you all merrely the manner and methode of my knaueries which if you hear without laughing then after my death call me base knaue and neuer haue me in remembrance Know therfore Gentlemen that my parents were honest of good reporte and no little estéeme amongst their neighbours and sought if good nurture and education would haue serued to haue made me an honest man but as one selfe same ground brings foorth flowers and thistles so of a sound stocke prooued an vntoward Syen and of a vertuous father a most vicious sonne It bootes little to rehearfe the pettie sinnes of my Non-age as disobedience to my parentes contempt of good counsaile despising of mine elders filching pe●ilashery and such trifling toyes but with these follyes I inurde myselfe till waxing in yeares I grew into greater villanies For when I came to eighteéne yeares olde what sinne was it that I would not commit with greedinesse what attempt so bad that I would not endeuour to execute Cutting of purses stealing of horses lifting picking of lockes and all other notable coossenages Why I helde them excellent qualities and accounted him vnworthy to liue that could not or 〈◊〉 not liue by such damnable practises Yet as sinne too openly manifested to the eye of the Magistrate is eyther sore reuenged or soone cut off So I to preuent that had a nette wherein to daunce and diuers shadowes to colour my knaueries withall as I would title my selfe with the name of a Fencer make Gentlemen beleeue that I pickt a liuing out by that mysterie whereas God wot I had no other fence but with my short knife and a paire of purse stringes and with them in troth many a bowt haue I had in my time In torth O what a simple oth was this to cōfirm a mans credit with all Why I sée the halter will make a man holy for whilest God suffered mee to flourish I scornd to disgrace my mouth with so smal an oath as In faith but I rent God in péeces swearing and forswearing by euery part of his body that such as heard mee rather trembled at mine oathes than feared my braues and yet for courage and resolution I refer my selfe to all them that haue euer heard of my name Thus animated to do wickednes I fell to take delight in the companie of harlots amongst whome as I spent what I gotte so I suffered not them I was acquainted withall to fether their nestes but would at my pleasure strippe them of all that they had What bad woman was there about London whose champion I would not be for a few Crownes to fight sweare and stare in her behalfe to the abuse of any that should doo Iustice vpon her I still had one or two in store to crosbite withall which I vsed as snares to trap simple men in for if I tooke but one suspitiously in her companie straight I verst vpon him and crossebit him for all the money in his purse By the way sith sorrow cannot