our best esteemed friends Maister Spark and Maister Ruffell Fel: Our good wishes euer waite vpon our best belooued friendes Maister Ruffell and Maister Sparke Ambo Wee both are much indebted to your Ladiships Fle: Looke yee signior that 's she whose loue meanes to assault your braines since you haue blowne vp your owne sconce with Tobacco Pet. As I am truely generous shee 's modest Faire Mistris you are so wise that neither time nor age could euer cousen you of beautie and I sweare euen by the Alpes high heauen-touching tops the trauelers narrowe passage and by the towring head of high mount Chiego the Sea-mās southward marke by these the witnesses vnto my trauell I doe vow that you are passing fayre From: If I be not faire sir I must be foule Pet A Foule Lady what bird might that be Fro: A foule Ladie y' are a sawcy Iacke to call mee so that you are Pet. O be not angry for I protest I cannot but commend the whitenes of your skin From: Mary muffe I thinke a be a Tanner and meanes to buy me for my skin Pet Gods mee shee 's angrie what shall I doe now Signior Fle. To her agen man doe not leaue her the Moone is now vpon change she will turne Pet I pray you Ladie knowe mee by the title of some kindenes From. Kindenes faith sir you are mistaken in mee you must seeke your flurts some other where and I pra'y come not to make a foole of me alas man though I am a waiting-woman do not think I spend my time in nothing but tempering of colours working of drawn-worke warming of Smockes and pinning in of ruffes faith yes Fle: And you come to her Signior you must come to her as countrie Gentlewomen doe into the fashion that is in the taile and latter end on 't From, Faith I and ye come to begin your knauerie on me I le take you down I am none of your young simpering waiting-women that are asham'd to be counted proud therefore suffer euerie Seruingman to vse them at their pleasure Pet. Now on my conscience Mistresse my loue is honest and I desire marriage Fro. Indeed if you meane mariage I am content to beare the more with you but I pra'y sir when shal we be maried by my troth I aske you because I haue beene so often deceiued I warrant you I haue bin promised dealt vpon promises in the way of mariage aboue an hundred times Pet. At our next meeting we wil set down a day for the effecting of it Flo. Gentlemen we haue some small discourse which a little requires secrecie therefore if it please ye to walke in and make vse of our better roomes wee will not long be absent from you Sp. Ruf With all our heartes Exeunt Manent two Ladies the Lord and Knight Felicia and the two Wenches disguised hide themselues Flo. Worthy Lord doe not thinke immodestie in mee though contrarie to the bashfull habite of my sexe I am inforc'd by loues almightie power to reueale the secretes of my heart Your Letters haue so much preuailed with mee that in a worde I must confesse I loue you Fel. Worthie Knight I would my wordes had but the power so worke in you that which your lines haue done in me then should the happie consolation of my life dwell euer in your loues embracements Kni. Assure ye Ladie your gift of loue to mee shall bee deserued though nothing but my liues deare breath requite its Piso. And I will rather die a shamefull death then liue a hatefull life which I must do vnlesse I find a meanes that may deserue your loue Flo. No we your tongue goes like a well tuned Instrument and makes my heart within my bosome daunce with ioy to heare such large requitall of my loue but durst you to maintaine this your affection although it were with some daunger of your life Piso. Durst I I vowe euen by my soules eternitie I durst Flo Alas if you knew all t' is your owne good not mine and yet I lie t' is my good too since my life depends vpon your safetie Piso. What is 't deare Ladie although it be the death of man if it be pleasing vnto you I le doo 't Flo O let me embrace so deare a spirit in so deare a bosome and since you haue bound your selfe by promise I will be plaine there are two that hate you two because wee loue you and often haue perswaded vs by giftes and large protestations to haue vs loue them if they kil'd you Piso What vs Kni: Who wee Flo Nay t' is too true for while you liu'd they said there was no hope for them to looke for any loue from vs nowe wee poore sillie women fearing least they without consent of vs should doe that which their hatred doth intend wee thinke it fitte preuention first be vsed by giuing them to drinke of what themselues haue brude Piso First murther them Fel. True so shall ye then be sure T' inioy our loues we yours and liue secure Piso. But what are they Ladies Flo. Sparke Fel. And Ruffell Pis: They die for 't though they were my fathers sons Kni. They shall not liue Piso Let little children feare the shallow Brookes for I can swim though 't be through Seas of blood let foolish feare goe dwell with women for bloodie resolution shall not part from me I le kill them both euen with mine owne hands I le doo 't Flo. O no I le reueale it then vnlesse you first do swear and take a Sacrament what euer hap to keepe our names vntoucht Piso Vntoucht wee le doo 't Fel. Then for the meanes Kni: Wee le stabb them Piso Wee le fight with them Flo No so you may misse them and they kill you Fel: Giue them a Figg Flo Make them drinke their last Fel. Poyson them Piso But for the meanes Flo You two shall make a banquet and in a cuppe of Wine a health shall passe Piso In which I le mingle mingle such a dram as they shall ride to heauen in post vnlesse they misse the way Kni. But where shall we get the poyson because you knowe t' is daungerous and will breede suspect where ere wee buy it Piso. I haue a Countrey-man in towne an Apothecarie one Signeur Aluino a fellow that is well stor'd and will sell me of the best Nan If a were of my minde a would thinke no poyson too good for you Flo Come then I would haue you goe about the preparation of the feast Exeunt Fle, Now boyes you haue a couple of goodly maisters Nan I Fleir and thou hast a couple of vertuous Mistresses O they are a couple of damn'd peeces that will plot or counsell the death of two such worthie Gentlemen Su. For one of them the earth did neuer beare a worthier creature Nan Which is that Su, Which is that Why sister haue you so oft confest that his all perfection'd spirit poyntes him out for vertue
poore Signior I see the Springle of her beautie hath alreadie caught the Woodcocke of his affections Pet Wel I see he that wil haue the commoditie of good wits in his companie must indure the discommoditie of ieastes wit is like the heate of blood in youth 't wil breake out Ruff, True Signior though it bee but on a Scab but come shall we goe Pet I my Heroique spirits I le followe yee Exeunt Actus Quintus Enter Petoune one way and Nan the Page another way Nan O Signior Petoune what newes Pet. Faith ill newes the two Florentine Ladies with Maister Sparke and Maister Ruffell were all poysoned yesterday at a feast by your Lord Piso and the Knight but the Ladies haue recouered their health but Sparke and Ruffell are dead and their burial is committed to Fleire your Lord the Knight are committed to prison shal to morrow be arraign'd for the murther and tride by the Ciuill-lawe because your Lord is a stranger and claimes to be tride by the law of nations Nan Faith Signior I am very sorry for my Lord Pet I protest sir so am I for them both Nan Well Signior I le commit you to God Pet Let the whole band of Angels be centinells to your safetie sweet sir Exeunt Enter Fleire at one doore and a Seruingman at another Fle, I pray sir doth Iustice Ferrio dwell heere Ser, Yes sir a dwells heere Fl. Are you towards him sir Ser. I am a poore Gentleman whose fortunes much depend vpon his fauours and indeede sir I am his Clarke Fle. I pray sir your name Seru. My name is Mittimus sir Fle, Good Maister Mittimus I would very willinglie speake with your Maister Ser. Indeede sir hee 's not well but if you please to send by me the substance of your busines I shall very carefullie deliuer it Fle, Truely Maister Mittimus my businesse is but this to morrow the Italian Lord and Sir Iohn Haue-little are to be araign'd and your maister beeing the chiefe Iudge of the Court without this presence or licence the rest can do nothing wherefore Doctor Caius intreates to know his pleasure in this businesse Mitti: Sir I shall deliuer your message and will returne his answere to you presently Fle: Good maister Mittimus therein shall you much obleige me to be thankfull O all-directing power yeeld good aspect And to my purpose giue a blessed ende My intent is good O let it so succeede And be auspicious still to each good deede Ente Seruingman with a Ring Ser: Sir my maister hath receiued your message hath sent this Ring as a token to Doctor Caius desiring him since my maisters health will not permit him to be present to proceede alone to iudgement and so commends his loue to him Fle: Good maister Mittimus I shall both deliuer your maisters commendations and the Ring Exeunt seuerally Enter Lord Piso with a Torch a Night-cap and his Doublet open In prison Piso. Still tonguelesse night put off thy sable robe Thou needs not mourne my villanies were done By day thou hadst no hand in them O I am great as is a woman that is neare her time And life 's the burthen that I beare But t' is a bastard for that I am asha'md on 't The Law I hope is a skilfull midwife and will soone deliuer me grim Iustice doe thy worst Thy crueltie shall prooue a curtesie And baile me out of prison Lie there thou selfe-consuming Taper true patern of my life I haue consumde my selfe for others as thou hast done for mee and nowe shee has extinguisht my life as I this light O how obedient was my bountie still To her commaund my liberalitie Did fatten mischiefe and hath made her prowde O that too much of any thing shuld be so ill in euery thing The Suns all seeng eye with too much vntemperate heate makes wither what it made to flourish The earth being mother to all wholsome hearbes With too much fatnesse oft produceth weedes A sute of cloath doth keepe the bodie warme When richer garments makes the wearer proude O the meanes the sweetest Musicke Contentment reuels when that string is toucht But O the time will come she will repent My death for when she lookes on vices face Vnmaske like mine she will detest and loath it For this is truth and euermore hath bin None can forsake before he knowes his sinne Exit Enter Fleir Sharke and Ruffell Fle. Come come thou didst but dreame thou wert in hell Sp: I tell thee I was in hell Ruff. And so was I too I le be sworne Fle. And how long was 't ere thou camest thither Sp. Me thought t' was long as long as a suit hangs here in the Law ere it be ended Fle: But I prethee how broad was the way to hell Sp: As broad as the space between two lines in a Chauncerie bill Fle. O sir there 's the conscience on 't say the Plaintiffe be in one line and the defendant in an other they being enemies wer 't either conscience or honestie in the Clearke to thrust them no neare togither that they might goe togither by th' eares but yfaith what good fellowship was there in hell Sp: O the diuels are excellent companions thei le drink your Dutch captains or Court Ladies spunges Fle: Who didst see there Sp. Faith I saw the foure sonnes of Aymon and they were Porters euer since there was a companie made of am Fle. Why are there a companie of Porters in hell Sp, O I the Diuels are but our Apes man Fle, But didst thou see more of them that were damn'd Sp. Yes I sawe a Citizen damn'd for refusing a desperate debt because t' was tendred him on a Sabboth Fle, I hope wee shall haue no more Citizens damn'd for that fault Spar. There was a poore mercinarie woman damn'd because shee forsooke her Trade and turnd Puritane Fle. And good reason why coulde not shee haue kept her Trade and beene a Puritane as well as a Puritane keepe her Religion and yet bee of her Trade Spar. There was a Ladie damn'd because shee neuer painted a Puritane for saying Grace without turning vppe the white of his eyes A Tailer for neuer hauing scabbie fingers A Vintner for making greate two pennie-woorths of Sugar But there was a Innes of Court man damn'd and I was sorie for him Fle. Why was he damn'd Sp: Alas for a small fault Fle. I prethe what wa st Spar: For hauing alwayes money in his purse Fle. Were there no Lawyers in hell Spar. There were none of your great Lawyers as your Serieants and Benchers for they take counsaile of too manie good Angells to come there but your young punie Lawyers they were in swarmes like Gnats in Summer Fle, Why are there so manie of them there Sp. Alas man they seldom conuerse with a good Angell scarce once in a whole Michaelmasse Tearme and if a come a stayes not long with am to feede these soules for they are faine to sende