Selected quad for the lemma: death_n
Text snippets containing the quad
|
ID |
Title |
Author |
Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) |
STC |
Words |
Pages |
|
B23348
|
The harangues or speeches of several famous mountebanks in town and country
|
D. G.
|
1700
(1700)
|
Wing G7
|
23,561
|
76
|
together with never-failing Medicines and Methods to cure Ruptures and knit the Peritonaeum And here I cannot forbear to communicate an useful Piece of Knowledge to the World which is that which the learned Villipandus in his excellent Treatise De congrubilitate materiae primae cum confessione Augustana I take a Rupture to be a Relaxation of the natural Cavities at the bottom of the cremaster Muscles But this en pâ—ssant I forge all my self nay my very Machines for safe and easy drawing Teeth and obscure Stumps Mrs. Littlehand Midwife to the Princess of Phlegethon can sufficiently inform the Women of my Helps and what I do for the Disruption of the Fundament and Uterus and other strange Infirmities of the Matrix occasioned by the bearing of Children violent Coughing heavy Work c. which I challenge any Person in the Acherontick Dominions to perform but my self If any Woman be unwilling to speak to me they may have the Conveniency of speaking to my Wife who is expert in all feminine Distempers She has an excellent Cosmetick Water to carry off Freckles Sun-burn or Pimples and a curious red Pomatum to plump and colour the Lips She can make red Hair as white as a Lilly she shapes the Eyebrows to a Miracle makes low Foreheads as high as you please has a never-failing Remedy for offensive Breaths a famous Essence to correct the ill Scent of the Arm-pits a rich Water that makes the Hair curl a most delicate Paste to smooth and whiten the Hands also A rare Secret that takes away all Warts From the Face Hands Fingers and Privy-Parts Those who are not able to come to me let them send their Urine especially that made after Mid-night and on sight of it I will tell them what their Distemper is and whether curable or no. Nay let a Man be in never so perfect Health of Body his Constitution never so vigorous and athletical if he shews me his Water I can as infallibly predict what Distemper will first attack him though perhaps it will be thirty or forty Years hence as an Astronomer by the Rules of his Science can foretel Solar or Lunar Eclipses the Year before they happen I have predicted miraculous Things by the Pulse far above any Philosopher By it I not only discover the Circumstances of the Body but if the Party be a Woman I can foretel how many Husbands and Children she shall have if a Tradesman whether his Wife will fortify his Forehead with Horns and so of the rest This is not all but I will engage to tell any serious Persons what their Business is on every radical Figure before they speak one Word what has already happened to them from their very Infancy down to the individual Hour of their consulting me what their present Circumstances are what will happen to them hereafter in what part of the Body they have Moles what Colour and Magnitude they are of and lastly how profited that is whether they calminate Equinoctially or Horizontally upon the Mesogastrium from which Place alone and no other as the profound Trismegistus has observ'd before me in his elaborate Treatise De erroribus Styli Gregoriani all solid Conjectures are to be formed I have likewise attained to the green golden and black Dragon known to none but Magicians and hermatick Philosophers I tell the Meaning of all magical Panticles Sigils Charms and Lameness and have a Glass and Help to further Marriage and what is more by my Learâ—ing and great Travels I have obtained the true and perfect Seed and Blossom of the Female Fern and infinitely improved that great Traveller Major John Coke's fomous Necklaces for breeding of Teeth The Spring being already advanc'd which is the properest Season for preventing new and renewing old Distempers neglect not this Opportunity My Hours are from Nine till Twelve in the Morning and from Two in the Afternoon till Nine at Night every Day in the Week except on the real Christian Sabbath called Saturday It may be of Use to keep this Advertisement The HARANGUE of ROBERT WILMORE Gentlemen and Ladies BEHOLD this little Viol which contains in its narrow Bounds what the whole Universe cannot purchase if sold to its true Value This admirable this miraculous Elixir drawn from the Hearts of Mandrakes Phoenix Livers and Tongues of Mairmaids and distill'd by contracted Sun-Beams has besides the unknown Virtue of curing all Distempers both of Mind and Body that Divine one of animating the Heart of Man to that Degree that however remiss cold and cowardly by Nature he shall become Vigorous and Brave O stupid and insensible Man when Honour and secure Renown invites you to treat it with Neglect even when you need but passive Valour to become the Heroes of the Age receive a thousand Wounds each of which would let out fleeting Life here 's that can snatch the parting Soul in its full Career and bring it back to its native Mansion baffles grim Death and disappoints even Fate Gentlemen If any of you here present was at Death's Door here 's this my Divine Elixir will give you Life again This Will recover whole Fields of Slain And all the Dead shall rise and fight again 'T was this that made the Roman Legions numerous and now makes France so formidable and this alone may be the Occasion of the Loss of Germany Come Gentlemen buy this Coward 's Comfort quickly buy What Fop would be abus'd mimick'd and scorn'd for fear of Wounds that can be so easily cur'd Who is it would bear the Insolence and Pride of domineering great Men proud Officers or Magistrates Or who would cringe to Statesmen out of Fear What Cully would be cuckol'd What foolish Heir undone by cheating Gamesters What Lord would be Lampoon'd What Poet fear the Malice of his Satyrical Brother Or Atheist fear to fight for Fear of Death Come buy my Coward 's Comfort quickly buy Here Gentlemen is my little Paper of Powder whose Value surmounts that of Rocks of Diamonds and Hills of Gold 'T was this made Venus a Goddess and given her by Apollo from her deriv'd to Hellen and in the Sack of Troy lost till recover'd by me out of some Ruins of Asia Come buy it Ladies you that wou'd be Fair and wear eternal Youth and you in whom the amorous Fire remains when all the Charms are fled You that dress Young and Gay and would be thought so that Patch and Paint to fill up sometimes old Furrows on your Brows and set your selves for Conquest though in vain here 's that which will give you aubern Hair white Teeth red Lips and Dimples on your Cheeks Come buy it all you that are past betwitching and wou'd have handsome young and active Lovers Come all you City Wives that would advance your Husbands to be Lord-Mayors come buy of me new Beauty This will give it though now decay'd as are your Shop Commodities this will retrieve your Customers and vend your false and out-of-fashion'd Wares Cheat lye