God why is it so so odious It must bee so because hee that hath sinned and then repented hath weighed God and the Deuill in a ballance hee hath heard God and the Deuill plead and after hearing giuen Iudgement on that side to which he adheres by his subsequent practise if he returne to his sinne hee decrees for Satan he prefers sinne before grace and Satan before God and in contempt of God declares the precedency for his aduersary And a contempt wounds deeper than an iniury a relapse deeper than a blasphemy And when thou hast told me that a relapse is more odious to thee neede I aske why it is more dangerous more pernitious to me Is there any other measure of the greatnesse of my danger than the greatnesse of thy displeasure How fitly and how fearefully hast thou expressed my case in a storm â—t Sea if I relapse They mount vp to Heauen and they goe downe againe to the depth My sicknesse brought mee to thee in repentance and my relapse hath cast mee farther from thee The end of that man shall be worse than the beginning saies thy Word thy Sonne My beginning was sicknesse punishment for sin but a worse thing may follow saies he also if I sin againe not onely death which is an â—nd worse than sicknesse which was the beginning but Hell which is a beginning worse than that end Thy great seruant denied thy Sonne and he denied him againe but all before Repentance here was no relapse O if thou haddest euer re-admitted Adam into Paradise how abstinently would hee haue walked by that tree and would not the Angels that fell haue fixed themselues vpon thee if thou hadst once re-admitted them to thy sight They neuer relapsed If I doe must not my case be as desperate Not so desperate for as thy Maiestie so is thy Mercie both infinite and thou who hast commanded me to pardon my brother seuenty seuen times hast limited thy selfe to no Number If death were ill in it selfe thou wouldest neuer haue raised any dead Man to life againe because that man must necessarily die againe If thy Mercy in pardoning did so farre aggrauate a Relapse as that there were no more mercy after it our case were the worse for that former Mercy for who is not vnder euen a necessity of sinning whilst hee is here if wee place this necssity in our own infirmity and not in thy Decree But I speak not this O my God as preparing a way to my Relapse out of presumption but to preclude all accesses of desperation though out of infirmity I should Relapse 23. PRAYER O Eternall and most gracious God who though thou beest euer infinite yet enlargest thy selfe by the Number of our prayers and takest our often petitions to thee to be an addition to thy glory and thy greatnesse as euer vpon all occaâ—ions so now O my God I come to thy Maiestie with two Prayers two Supplications I haue Meditated vpon the Ielouzie which thou hâ—st of thine owne honour and considered that Nothing can come neerer a violating of that hâ—nor neerer to the Nature of a scorne to thee then to sue out thy Pâ—rdon and receiue the Sealâ—s of Reconciliation to thee and then returne to thâ—t sinne for which I needed and had thy pardon before I know that this comes to neare to a making thy holy Ordinances thy Word thy Sacraments thy Seales thy Grace instruments of my Spirituall Fornications Since therefore thy Correction hath brought mee to such a participation of thy selfe thy selfe O my God cannot bee parted to such an intire possession of thee as that I durst deliuer my selfe ouer to thee this Minute If this Minute thou wouldst accept my dissolution preserue me O my God the God of constancie and perseuerance in this state from all relapses into those sinnes which haue induc'd thy former Iudgements vpon me But because by too lamentable Experience I I know how slippery my customs of sinne haue made my wayes of sinne I presume to adde this petition too That if my infirmitie ouertake mee thou forsake mee not Say to my Soule My Sonne thou hast sinned doe so no more but say also that though I doe thy Spirit of Remorce and Compunction shall neuer depart from mee Thy Holy Apostle Saint Paul was shipwrackd thrice yet stil saued Though the rockes and the sands the heights and the shallowes the prosperitie and the aduersitie of this world do diuersly threaten mee though mine owne leakes endanger mee yet O God let mee neuer put my selfe aboard with Hymeneus nor make shipwracke of faith and a good Conscience and then thy long-liud thy euerlasting Mercy will visit me though that which I most earnestly pray against should fall vpon mee a relapse into those sinnes which I haue truely repented and thou hast fully pardoned FINIS Gen. 28.16 Mat. 13â— 16. 2 Reg. 4.40 Prou. 13.17 Esa. 58.8 1 Sam. 24 15. 2 Sam. 9.8 2 Sam. 24.14 Psa. 34.8 Prou. 14.30 Psa. 38.3 Ibid. Mat. 19.13 Amos 6 4. Psal. 132 3. Apoc. 2.22 Mat. 8.6 8.4 8.14 Psa. 26.8 84.4 5.8 69.10 1 Cor. 9.27 2. Reg. 2.11 Exod. 21 18. Psa. 41.3 Psal. 4.4 Iob 13.3 Ezâ—c 47.12 Ioh. 5.6 Ier. 8.22 Ecclus. 38.4 Ecclus. 38.15 1. Chro. 16.12 Ecclus â—8 9 Ps. 6.2 v. 10. v 12. Act. 9. â—4 Luc. 5.17 Apo. 22 2â— Ier. 51.9 Ose 5.13 Esa. 2 Châ—o 7.14 Ezech 47.11 Mat. 4.23 Luc. 6.19 Io 7.23 2. Reg. 20. â— Num 12.14 Io 13.23 Num 23.9 Deu 33.28 Eccles. 4.10 Sap. 1.9 Mat. 14.23 Mat. 26.13 Io. 8.16 Psa. 38.11 Esa. 63.3 1. regâ— â—4 14 Luc. 10.40 Ier. 1.1 Leu 13.46 Exo 14.2 Gen. 32.24 Ecclus. 6.16 2 Sam 3.11 9.34 Iob 9.34 Luc 18.1 Luc. 11.5 Psa. 27.1 Num 14.9 Ps 35.70 46.5 Ecclus 41 3. Mar. 6.20 Psa 25.14 Pro 2.5 Act. 9.31 Gen. 3.10 Pro 1.26 10.24 Ps 14.5 53 6. Io 7.13 19.38 29.19 Esai 33.6 Mat. 8.26 Iud 7.3 Apo 21.8 Iob. 6.20 Mat. 28.8 Ps 111.10 Pro. 1.7 Ecclus. 1.20.27 Deu 4.10 Heb 11.7 Ecclus 18.27 2 Sam. 18 25. So al but our Translation takes it Euen Burcdorf Schindler 2.4.11 Exod. 18 13. Num. 11 16. Heb. 1.6 Mat. 26.53 Mat. 25.31 Luc. 21.15 Io. 20.12 Gen. 28.12 Psa. 91.13 Gen. 19.15 Apo. 1.20 Apo. 8.2 Mat. 13.39 Luc. 16.22 Apoc. 21.12 1. Reg. 19.35 Luc. 4.18 Eph. 4.11 1. Pet 2.25 Io. 20.22 Ecclus. 13.23 Augustus 2 Sam. 19.12 2 Sam. 24. â—â— v. 17. 2 Chro. 14.8 2. Chro. 25.16 42.13 9.6 11.2 Gen. 1.26 Iob. 1. Tim. 4.1 Ose. 4.12 Esa. 19.14 Apoc. 7.1 Iosephus Iere. 9.21 Io. 8.44 Ioh. 6.70 Ps. 19.12 Esay 47.10 Gen. 4.10 Ier. 20.27 Eccle. 10.20 Gen. 3.8 Eccles. 12.14 Mat. 10.26 Psal. 32.34 8.5 Prou. 23.26 Iob. 1.8 Ier. 17 9 Gen. 6.5 Amos 4.14 1 Sam. 13 14. Ier. 3.15 Ezech. 11 19. Eccles. 7.26 Prou. 28.26 Io. 13.2 Ecclus. 50.23 Leuit. 26 36. Ios. 2.11 1 Sam. 7.3 2. Cor. 1.22 1. Sam. 25.37 24.5 1. Sam. 24.10 1. Reg. 8.38 Phil. 4.7 Coma latro in Val. Max. Ardionus 4.14 Gen. 2.6 Leuit. 16 23. Ezech. 8.11 Sap. 7.24 Sap. 11.18 Ioel. 2.30 Act. 2.19 Psa. 78.8 Esa. 6.4 Apo. 9.2 Psa. 91.13 Eze. 7.16 37.3 Can. 4.7 Iud. 23. Iob 9.30 Ephes. 5.29 Iosua 22.17 Sap. 13.14 Gen. 30.33 Mat. 9.12 Iob 11.15 Dan. 7 9. Mat. 20.6 6â—34 4.10 2 16â— 2. Cor. 6.2 Apoc. 6.17 Eph. 6.1 3. Ioh. v. 2. Heb. 1.2 2. Thes. 5.8 Mat. 23 30â— Mat. 22.15 V. 23. V. 34. V. 46. Gen. 32.26 2 Pet. 3.8 Ecclus. 41.1 Mat. 28.20 Psa. 121.1 2 Pet. 2.3 Psa. 127 1. Leu. 26.6 Ion. 1.5 Mat. 8.24 Io. 11.12 Eccles. 8.16 Pro. 4.16 Eccles. 5.12 Mat. 13.25.28.13 26.40 Iud. 16.3 vers 19. Eph. 5.14 1 Thes. 5.6 Ier. 51.59 Can. 5.8 1 Thes. 5.6 vers 10. Magius Antwerp Roan Roccha Num. 10 1. Exo. 18. Apoc. 14 13. Gen. 49.1 Deut. 33 1. 2 Reg. 20.1 2 Pet. 2.13 Ioh. 14.1 Psal. 31.5 Leuit. 21 1. Sap. 14.14 Sap. 13.9 Sap. 13.18 Esay 8.14 Deu. 33.6 Zechar. 11.9 Iud. 12. Exo. 12.30 Apo. 1.5 1 Sam. 19.11 Apoc. 3 2â— Iud. 6.23 Num. 20.26 1 Reg. 16 18. Ioh. 8.21 Vers. 24. Esay 66.14 Psal. 46.3 Psa. 33.7 Psa. 8.29 Ios. 3.17 Ecelus 43.24 vers 27. Sap. 14.3 Act. 17.11 Luc. 5.3 Act. 27.24 Mar. 5.2 Act. 27.31 Iac. 3.4 Apo. 8.9 Io. 6.21 Lam. 3.26 Exo. 13.21 16.10 1 Reg. 19.43 August Eccles. 11.4 Prou. 10 4. Psal. 24.3 Exod. 31.29 1 Sam. 22.17 Leuit. 8.36 Galâ—n Galen Galen Psa. 106 12. Mar. 15 23. Io. 12.28 Mat. 27 46.50 Deut. 5.22 2 Sam. 22.14 Psal. 68 33. Psal. 29. Io. 5.25 Apo. 1.12 Iob. 4.16 Psa. 93.3.4 Ecclus. 8.8 Ibid. v. 7. 1 Sam. 19.15 2 Chro. 24.25 Amos 3.12 Act. 5.15 Mat. 96 Leu. 5.2 Num. 15 22. Rom. 1.32 Eph. 2.3 1 â—o 3.4 Rom. 7.23 Ier. 6.7 7.26 Iacob 1.14 Gen. 3.6 1 Reg. 1â— 3 1 Reg. 21 1 Par. 22 3. Luâ— 23.23 Act. 12.3 Eph. 4.22 1 Cor. 5.7 Psal. 78.41 Num. 14 22. Ios. 23.12 Deut. 13 12. Iâ—s 22.11 1.12 Num. 25 4. Tertull. Psa. 107 26. Mat. 12.45 Io. 8.14 Mar. 14 70. Ecclus. 2.18 Ecclus. 21.1 2. Cor. 11.25 Timo. 1.19
feare of death that there was not a house where there was not one dead for therupon the Aegyptians said we are all deaâ— men the death of others should catechise vsâ— to death Thy Sonne Christ Iesus is the first begotten of the dead he rises first the eldest brother and he is my Master in this science of death but yet for mee I am a younger brother too to this Man who died now and to euery man whom I see or heare to die before mee and all they are vshers to mee in this schoole of death I take therefore that which thy seruant Dauids wife said to him to bee said to me If thou saue not thy life to night to morrow thou shalt bee slaine If the death of this man worke not vpon mee now I shall die worse than if thou hadst not afforded me this helpe for thou hast sent him in this bell to mee as thoâ— didst send to the Angelâ— of Sardis with commission to strengthen the things that remaine and that are ready to die that in this weaknes of body I mighâ— receiue spiritual strengâ—h by these occasions This is my strength that whether thou say to mee as thine Angell said to Gedeon Peace bee vnto thee feare not thou shalt not die or whether thou say as vnto Aaron Thou shalt die there yet thou wilâ— preserue that which is ready to die my soule from the worst death that of sinne Zimrie died for his sinnes saies thy Spirit which he sinned in doing euill and in his sinne which he did to make Israel sinne For his sinnes his many sinnes and then in his sinne his particular sinne for my sinnes I shall die whensoeuer I die for death is the wages of sinne but I shall die in my sinne in that particular sinne of resisting thy spirit if I apply not thy assistances Doth it not call vs to a particular consideration That thy blessed Sonne varies his forme of Commination and aggrauates it in the variation when hee saies to the Iewes because they refused the light offered you shall die in your sinne And then when they proceeded to farther disputations and vexations and tentations hee addes you shall die in your sinnes he multiplies the former expressing â—o a plurall In this sinne â— and in all your sinnes doth not the resisting of thy particular helps at last draw vpon vs the guiltinesse of all our former sinnes May not the neglecting of this sound ministred to mee in this mans death bring mee to that miserie as that I whom the Lord of life loued so as to die for me shall die and a Creature of mine owne shall be immortall â— that I shall die and the worme of mine owne conscience shall neuer die 18. PRAYER O Eternall and most gracious God I haue a new occasion of thanks and a new occasion of prayer to thee from the ringing of this bell Thou toldst me in the other voice that I was mortall and approaching to death In this I may heare thee say that I am dead in an irremediable in an irrecouerable state for bodily health If that bee thy language in this voice how infinitely am I bound to thy heauenly Maiestie for speaking so plainly vnto mee for euen that voice that I must die now is not the voice of a Iudge that speaks by way of condemnation but of a Physitian that presents health in that Thou presentest mee death as the cure of my disease not as the exaltation of it if I mistake thy voice herein if I ouer-runne thy pace and preuent thy hand and imagine death more instant vpon mee than thou hast bid him bee yet the voice belongs to me I am dead I was borne dead and from the first laying of these mud-walls in my conception they haue moldred away and the whole course of life is but an actiue death Whether this voice instruct mee that I am a dead man now or remember me that I haue been a dead man all this while I humbly thanke thee for speaking in this voice to my soule and I humâ—ly beseech thee also to â—ccept my prayers in his behalfe by whose occasion this voice this sound is come to mee â—or though hee bee by death transplanted to thee and so in possession of inexpressible happinesse there yet here vpon earth thou hast giuen vs such a portion of heauen as that though men dispute whether thy Saints in heauen doe know what we in earth in particular doe stand in need of yet without all disputation wee vpon earth doe know what thy Saints in heauen lacke yet for the consummation of their happinesse and therefore thou hast affoorded vs the dignitie that wee may pray for them That therefore this soule now newly departed to thy Kingdome may quickly returne to a ioâ—full reunion to that body which it hath left and that wee with it may soone enioy the full consummation of all in body and soule I humbly beg at thy hand O our most mercifull God for thy Sonne Christ Iesus sake That that blessed Sonne of thine may haue the comsummation of his dignitie by entring into his last office the office of a Iudge and may haue societie of humane bodies in heauen as well as hee hath had euer of soulesâ— And that as thou hatest sinne it selfe thy hate to sinne may bee expressed in the abolishing of all instruments of sinne The allurements of this world and the world it selfe and all the temporarie râ—uenges of sinne the stings of sicknesse and of death and all the castles and prisons and monuments of sinne in the graue That time may bee swallowed vp in Eternitie and hope swallowed in possession and ends swallowed in infinitenesse and all men ordained to saluation in body and soule bâ— one intire and euerlasting sacrifice to thee where thou mayest receiue delight from them and they glorie from thee for euermore Amen 19. Oceano tandem emenso aspicienda resurgit Terra vident iustis medici iam cocta mederi se posse indicijs At last the Physitians after a long and stormie voyage see land They haue so good signes of the conâ—oction of the disease as that they may safely proceed to purge 19. MEDITATION ALl this while the Physitians themselues haue beene patients patiently attending when they should see any land in this Sea any earth any cloud any indication of concoction in these waters Any disorder of mine any pretermission of theirs exalts the dâ—sease accelerates the rages of it no diligence accelerates the concoction the maturitie of the disease they must stay till the season of the sicknesse come and till it be ripened of it selfe and then they may put to their hand to gather it before it fall off but they cannot hasten the ripening Why should wee looke for it in a disease which is the disorder the discord the irregularitie the commotion and rebellion of the body It were scarce a disease if it could bee ordered and
sin together Yet O blessed and glorious Trinity O holy whole Colledge and yet but one Phisician if you take this confession into a consultâ—â—â—on my case is not despâ—rate my destructioÌ„ is not decreed If your consultation determin in writing if you refer mee to that which is written you intend my recouery for al the way O my God euer constant to thine owne wayes thou hast proceeded opeÌ„ly intelligâ—bly manifestly by the book From thy first book the book of life neueâ— shut to thee but neuer throughly open to vs froÌ„ thy second book the booke of Nature wher though subobscurely and in shadows thou hast expressed thine own Image froÌ„ thy third booke the Scriptures where thou hadst writteÌ„ all in the Old and then lightedst vs a caÌ„dle to read it by in the New Testament To these thou hadst added the booke of iust and vsefull Lawes established by them to whom thou hast committed thy people To those the Manualls the pocket the bosome books of our own Consciences To â—hose thy partcular books of all our particular sins and to those the Booke with seuen seales which only the Lamb which was slaine was found worthy to opeÌ„ which I hope it shall not disagree with the meaning of thy blessed Spirit to interpreâ—e the promulgation of their pardon and righteousnes who are washed in the blood of that Lambe And if thou refer me to these Bookes to a new reading a new triall by these bookes â— this feuer may be but a burning in the hand and I may be saued thogh not by my book mine own conscience nor by thy other books yet by thy first the book of life thy decree for my election and by thy last the book of the Lamb and the shedding of his blood vpon me If I be stil vnder coÌ„sultation I am not coÌ„demned yet if I be sent to these books I shall not be condem'd at all for though there be somthing written in some of those books particularly in the Scripturâ— which some men turne to poyson yet vpon these consultations these confessions these takings of our particular cases into thy consideration thou intendest all for phisick euen from those Sentences from which a tooâ—late Repenter will sucke desperation he that seeks thee early shall receiue thy morning dew thy seasonable mercy thy forward consolation 9. PRAYER O Eternall and most gracious God who art of so pure eyes as that thou canst not look vpon sinn and we of so vnpure constitutions as that wee can present no obiect but sin and therfore might iustly â—eare that thou wouldst turn thine eyes for euer from vs as though we cannot indure afflictions in our selues yet in thee we canâ— so thogh thou canst not indure sinne in vs yet in â—hy Sonn thou canst and he hath taken vpon him seâ—fe and presented to thee al those sins which might displease thee in vs. There is an Eye in Nature that kills assoon as it sees the eye of a Serpent no eye in Nature that nourishes vs by looking vpon vs But thine Eye O Lord does so Looke therefore vpon me O Lord in this distresse and that will recall mee from the borders of this bodily death Look vpon me and that wil raise me again from that spirituall death in which my parents buried me when they begot mee in sinne and in which I haue pierced euen to the lawes of hell by multiplying such heaps of actuall sins vpon that foundation that root of originall sinn Yet take me again into your Consultation O blessed and glorious Trinitie thogh the Father know that I haue defaced his Image receiued in my Creation though the Son know I haue neglected mine interest in the Redemption yet O blessed spirit as thou art to my ConscieÌ„ce so be to them a witnes that at this minute I accept that which I haue so often so often so rebelliously refused thy blessed inspirations be thou my witnes to them that at more poores then this slacke body sweates teares this sad soule weeps blood and more for the displeasure of my God then for the stripes of his displeasure Take me then O blessed glorious Trinitie into a RecoÌ„sultation and prescribe me any phisick If it bee a long painful holding of this soule in sicknes it is phisick if I may discern thy hand to giue it it is phisick if it be a speedy departing of this Soule if I may discerne thy hand to receiue it 10. Lentè Serpenti satagunt occurrere Morbo They find the Disease to steale on insensibly and endeauour to meet with it so 10. MEDITATION THis is Natures nest of Boxes The Heauens containe the Earth the Earth Cities Cities Men. And all these are Concentrique the common center to them all is decay ruine only that is Ecoentrique which was neuer made only that place or garment rather which we can imagine but not demonstrate That light which is the very emanation of the light of God in which the Saints shall dwell with which the Saints shall be appareld only that bends not to this Center to Ruine that which was not made of Nothing is not threatned with this annihilation All other things are euen Aâ—gels eueÌ„ our soules they moue vpon the same poles they bend to the same Center and if they were not made immortall by preseruation their Nature could not keepe them from sinking to this center Annihilation In all these the frame of the heuens the States vpoÌ„ earth Men in them comprehend all Those are the greatest mischifs which are least discerned the most insensible in their wayes come to bee the most sensible in their ends The Heauens haue had their Dropsie they drownd the world and they shall haue their Feuer and burn the world Of the dropsie the flood the world had a foreknowledge 120 yeares before it came and so some made prouision against it and were sauâ—dâ— the feuer shall break out in an instant consume all The dropsie did no harm to the heauens froÌ„ whence it fell it did not put out those lights it did not quench those heates but the feuer the fire shall burne the furnace it selfe annihilate those heauens that bâ—eath it out Though the Dog-Starre haue a pestilent breath an infectious exhalation yet because we know when it wil rise we cloâ—he our selues wee dieâ— our selues and wee shadow our selues to a sufficient preueÌ„tion but Comets and blazing starres whose effects or significations no man can interrupt or frustrat no man foresaw no Almanack tells vs when a blazing starre will breâ—k out the matter is carried vp in secret no Astrologer tels vs when the effects wil be accomplishd for that 's a secret of a higher spheare then the other and that which is most secret is most dangerous It is so also here in the societies of men in States CommoÌ„wealths Twentie rebellious drums make not so daÌ„gerous a noise as a few whisperers and secret plotters in corners The Canon
Seuenth day my Euerlasting Saboth in thy rest thâ— glory thy ioy thy sight thy sâ—lfe and where I shall liue as long without reckning any more Dayes after as thy Sonne and thy Holy Spirit liued with thee before you three made any Dayes in the Creation 14. PRAYER O Eternall and most gracious God who though thou didst permit darknesse to be before light in the Creation yet in the making of light didst so multiplie that light as that it enlightned not the day only but the night too though thou haue suffered some dimnesse some clouds of sadnesse disconsolatenesse to shed themselues vpon my soule I humbly blesse and thankfully glorifie thy holy name that thou hast afforded mee the light of thy spirit against which the prince of darkenesse cannot preuaile nor hinder his illumination of our darkest nights of our saddest thoughts Euen the visitation of thy most blessed Spirit vpon the blessed Virgin is called an ouershadowing There waâ— the presence of the Holy Ghost the fountaine of all light and yet an ouershadowing Nay except there were some light there could bee no shadow Let thy mercifull prouidence so gouerne all in this sicknesse that I neuer fall into vtter darknesse ignorance of thee or inconsideration of my selfe and let those shadowes which doe fall vpon mee faintnesses of Spirit and condemnations of my selfe bee ouercome by the power of thine irresistible light the God of consolation that when those shadowes haue done their office vpon mee to let me see that of my selfe I should fall into irrecouerable darknesse thy spirit may doe his office vpon those shadowes and disperse them and establish mee in so bright a day here as may bee a Criticall day to me a day wherein and whereby I may giue thy Iudgement vpon my selfe and that the words of thy sonne spoken to his Apostles may reflect vpon me Bâ—hold I am with you alwaies euen to the end of the world Intereà insomnes noctes Ego duco Diesque I sleepe not day nor night 15. MEDITATION NAturall Men haue coÌ„ceiued a two fold vse of sleepe That it is a refreshing of the body in this life That it is a preparing of the soule for the next That it is a feast and it is the Grace at that feast That it is our recreation and cheeres vs and it is our Catechisme and instructs vs wee lie downe in a hope that wee shall rise the stronger and we lie downe in a knowledge that wee may rise no more Sleepe is an Opiate which giues vs rest but such an Opiate as perchance being vnder it we shall wake no more But though naturall men who haue induced secondary and figuratiue considerations haue found out this second this emblematicall vse of sleepe that it should be a representation of death God who wrought and perfected his worke before Nature began for Nature was but his apprentice to learne in the first seuen daies and now is his foreman and works next vnder him God I say intended sleepe onely for the refreshing of man by bodily rest and not for a figure of death for he intended not death it selfe then But Man hauing induced death vpon himselfe God hath taken Mans Creature death into his hand and mended it and whereas it hath in it selfe a fearefull forme and aspect so that Man is afraid of his own Creature God presents it to him in a familiar in an assiduous in an agreeable and acceptable forme in sleepe that so when hee awakes from sleepe and saies to himselfe shall I bee no otherwise when I am dead than I was euen now when I was asleep hee may bee ashamed of his waking dreames and of his Melancholique fancying out a horâ—id and an affrightfull figure of that death which is so like sleepe As then wee need sleepe to liue out our threescore and ten yeeres so we need death to liue that life which we cannot out-liue And as death being our enemie God allowes vs to defend our selues against it for wee victuall ouâ— selues against death twice euery day as often as we eat so God hauing so sweetned death vnto vs as hee hath in sleepe wee put our selues into our Enemies hands once euery day so farre as sleepe is death and sleepe is as much death as meat is life This then is the misery of my sicknesse That death as it is produced from mee and is mine owne Creature is now before mine Eies but in that forme in which God hath mollified it to vs and made it acceptable in sleepe I cannot see it how many prisoners who haue euen hollowed themselues their graues vpon that Earth on which they haue lion long vnder heauie fetters yet at this houre are â—sleepe though they bee yet working vpon their owne graues by their owne waight hee that hath seene his friend die to day or knowes hee shall see it to morrow yet will sinke into a sleepe betweene I cannot and oh if I be entring now into Eternitie where there shall bee no more distinction of houres why is it al my businesse now to tell Clocks why is none of the heauinesse of my heart dispensed into mine Eie-lids â—hat they might fall as my heart doth And why since I haue loâ—t my delight in all obiects cannot I discontinue tâ—e facultie of seeing them by closing mine Eiâ—s in sleepe But why rather being entring into that presence where I shall wake continually and neuer sleepe more doe I not interpret my continuall waking here to bee a pâ—rasceue and a preparation to that 15. EXPOSTVLATION MY God my God I know for thou hast said it That he that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleepe But shall not that Israel ouer whom thou watchest sleepe I know for thou hast said it that there are Men whose damnation sleepeth not but shall not they to whom thou art Saluation sleepe or wilt thou take from them that euidence and that testimony that they are thy Israel or thou their saluation Thou giuest thy beloued sleepe Shall I lacke that seale of thy loue You shall lie downe and none shall make you afraid shal I bee outlawd from that protection Ionas slept in one dangerous storme and thy blessed Sonne in another Shall I haue no vse no benefit no application of those great Examples Lord if hee sleepe he shall doe well say thy Sonnes Disciples to him of Lazarus And shall there bee no roome for that Argument in me or shall I bee open to the contrary If I sleepe not shall I not bee well in their sense Let me not O my God take this too precisely too literally There is that neither day nor night seeth sleepe with his eies saies thy wise seruant Solomon and whether hee speake that of worldly Men or of Men that seeke wisdome whether in iustification or condemnation of their watchfulnesse we can not tell wee can tâ—ll That there are men that cannot sleepe till they haue done mischiefe
bodies whole Churches what becomes of the soules of the righteous at the departing thereof from the body I shall bee told by some That they attend an expiation a purification in a place of torment By some that they attend the fruition of the sight of God in a place of rest but yet but of expectation By some that they passe to an immediate possession of the presence of God S. Augustine studied the Nature of the soule as much as any thing but the saluation of the soule and he sent an expresse Messenger to Saint Hierome to consult of some things concerning the soule But he satisfies himselfe with this Let the departure of my soule to saluation be euident to my faith and I care the lesse how darke the entrance of my soule into my body bee to my reason It is the going out more than the comming in that concernes vs. This soule this Bell tells me is gone out Whither Who shall tell mee that I know not who it is much lesse what he was The condition of the Man and the course of his life which should tell mee whither hee is gone I know not I was not there in his sicknesse nor at his death I saw not his way nor his end nor can aâ—ke themâ— who did thereby to conclude or argue whither he is gone But yet I haue one neerer mee than all these mine owne Charity I aske that that tels me He is gone to euerlasting rest and ioy and glory I owe him a good opinion it is but thankfull charity in mee because I receiued benefit and instruction from him when his Bell told and I being made the fitter to pray by that disposition wherein I was assisted by his occasion did pray for him and I pray not without faith so I doe charitably so I do faithfully beleeue that that soule is gone to euerlasting rest and ioy and glory But for the body How poore a wretched thing is that wee cannot expresse it so fast as it growes worse and worse That body which scarce three minutes since was such a house as that that soule which made but one step from thence to Heauen was scarse thorowly content to leaue that for Heauen that body hath lost the name of a dwelling house because none dwels in it and is making haste to lose the name of a body and dissolue to putrefaction Who would not bee affected to see a cleere sweet Riuer in the Morning grow a kennell of muddy land water by noone and condemned to the saltnesse of the Sea by night And how lame a Picture how faint a representation is that of the precipitatioÌ„ of mans body to dissolution Now all the parts built vp and knit by a louely soule now but a statue of clay and now these limbs melted off as if that clay were but snow â— and now the whole house is but a handfull of sand so much dust and but a pecke of Rubbidge so much bone If he who as this Bell tells mee is gone now were some excellent Artiâ—icer who comes to him for a clocke or for a garment now or for counsaile if hee were a Lawyer If a Magistrate for iustice Man before hee hath his immortall soule hath a soule of sense and a soule of vegitation before that This immortall soule did not forbid other soules to be in vs before but when this soule departs it carries all with it no more vegetation no more sense such a Mother in law is the Earth â— in respect of our naturall Mother in her wombe we grew and when she was deliuered of vs wee were planted in some place in some calling in the world In the wombe of the Earth wee diminish and when shee is deliuered of vs our graue opened for another wee are not transplanted but transported our dust blowne away with prophane dust with euery wind 18. EXPOSTVLATION MY God my God if Expostulation bee too bold a word doe thou mollifie it with another leâ— it be wonder in my selfe let it bee but probleme to others but let me aske why wouldest thou not suffer those that serue thee in holy seruices to doe any office about the dead nor assist at their funerall Thou hadst no Counsellor thou needest none thou hast no Controller thou admittest none Why doe I aske in Ceremoniall things as that was any conuenient reason is enough who can bee sure to propose that reason that moued thee in the institution thereof I satisfie my selfe with this that in those times the Gentiles were ouerfull of an ouer-reuerent respect to the memory of the dead a great part of the Idolatry of the Nations flowed from that an ouer-amorous deuotion an ouer-zealous celebrating and ouer-studious preseruing of the memories and the Pictures of some dead persons And by the vaine glory of men they entred into the world and their statues and pictures contracted an opinion of diuinity by age that which was at first but a picture of a friend grew a God in time as the wise man notes They called them Gods which were the worke of an ancient hand And some haue assigned a certaine time when a picture should come out of Minority and bee at age to bee a God in 60. yeeres after it is made Those Images of Men that had life and some Idols of other things which neuer had any being are by one common name called promiscuously dead and for that the wise man reprehends the Idolatrer for health he praies to that which is weake and for life he praies to that which is dead Should we doe so saies thy Prophet should we goe from the liuing to the dead So much ill then being occasioned by so much religious coÌ„plement exhibited to the dead thou ô God I think wouldest therefore inhibit thy principall holy seruants from contributing any thing at all to this dangerous intimation of Idolatry and that the people might say surely those dead men are not so much to bee magnified as men mistake since God will not suffer his holy officers so much as to touch them not to see them But those dangers being remoued thou O my God dost certainly allow that we should doe offices of piety to the dead and that we should draw instructions to piety from the dead Is not this O my God a holy kinde of raising vp â—eed to my dead brother if I by the meditation of his death produce a better life in my selfe It is the blessing vpon Reuben Let Reuben liue not die and let not his men be few let him propagate many And it is a Malediction That that dieth let it die let it doe no good in dying for Trees without fruit thou by thy Apostle callst twice dead It is a second death if none liue the better by me after my death by the manner of my death Therefore may I iustly thinke that thou madest that a way to conuay to the Aegyptians a feare of thee and a
comfort which wee might haue in our first sicknesse from that meditation Alas how generally miserable is Man and how subiect to diseases for in that it is some degree of comfort that wee are but in the staâ—e common to all we fall I say to this discomfort and selfe accusing selfe condemning Alas how vnprouident and in that how vnthankfull to God and his instruments am I in making so ill vse of so great benefits in destroying so soone so long a worke in relapsing by my disorder to that from which they had deliuered mee and so my meditation is fearefully transferred from the body to the minde and from the consideration of the sicknesse to that sinne that sinfull carelesnesse by which I haue occasioned my relapse And amongst the many weights that aggrauate a relapse this also is one that a relapse proceeds with a more violent dispatch and more irremediably because it finds the Countrie weakned and depopulated before Vpon a sicknesse which as yet appeares not wee can scarce fix a feare because wee know not what to feare but as feare is the busiest and irksomest affection so is a relapse which is still ready to come into that which is but newly gone the nearest obiect the most immediate exercise of that affection of fearâ— 23. EXPOSTVLATION MY God my God my God thou mightie Father who hast beene my Physitian Thou glorious Sonne who hast beene my physicke Thou blessed Spirit who hast prepared and applied all to mee shall I alone bee able to ouerthrow the worke of all you and relapse into those spirituall sicknesses from which your infinite mercies haue withdrawne me Though thou O my God hâ—ue filled my measure with mercie yet my measure was not so large as that of thy whole people the Nation the numerous and glorious nation of Israel and yet how often how often did they fall into relapses And then where is my assurance how easily thou passedst ouer many other sinnes in them and how vehemently thou insistedst in those into which they so often relapsed Those were their murmurings against thee in thine Instruments and Ministers and their turnings vpon other gods and embracing the Idolatries of their neighbours O my God how slipperie a way to how irrecouerable a bottome is murmuring and how neere thy selfe hee comes that murmures at him who comes from thee The Magistrate is the garment in which thou apparellest thy selfe and hee that shoots at the cloathes cannot say hee meant no ill to the man Thy people were feareful examples of that for how often did their murmuring against thy Ministers end in a departing from thee when they would haue other officers they would haue other gods and still to daies murmuring was to morrowes Idolatrie As their murmuring induced Idolatrie and they relapsed often into both I haue found in my selfe O my God O my God thou hast found it in me and thy finding it hath shewed it to me such a transmigration of sinne as makes mee afraid of relapsing too The soule of sinne for wee haue made sinne immortall and it must haue a soule The soule of sinne is disobedience to thee and when one sinne hath beene dead in mee that soule hath passed into another sinne Our youth dies and the sinnes of our youth with it some sinnes die a violent death and some a naturall pouertie penurie imprisonment banishment kill some sinnes in vs and some die of age many waies wee become vnable to doe that sinne but still the soule liues and passes into another sinne and that that was licentiousnesse growes ambition and that comes to indeuotion and spirituall coldnesse wee haue three liues in our state of sinne and where the sinnes oâ— youth expire those of our middle yeeres enter and those of our age after them This transmigration of sinne found in my selfe makes me afraid O my God of a Relapse but the occasion of my feare is more pregnant â—han so for I haue had I haue multiplied Relapses already Why O my God is a relapse so odious to thee Not so much their murmuring and their Idolatry as their relapsing into those sinnes seemes to affect thee in thy disobedient people They limited the holy one of Israel as â—hou complainest of them That was a murmuring but before thou chargest them with the fault it selfe in the same place thou chargest them with the iterating the redoubling of â—hat fault before the fault was named How oft did they prouoke mee in the Wildernesse and grieue me in the Desart That which brings thee to that exasperation against them as to say that thou wouldest breake thine owne oath rather than leaue them vnpunished They shall not see the land which I sware vnto their fathers was because they had tempted thee ten times infinitely vpon that thou threatnest with that vehemencie if ye do in any wise goe backe know for a certainty God will no more driue out any of these Nations from before you but they shall be snares and traps vnto you and scourges in your sides and thornes in your eies till ye perish No tongue but thine owne O my GOD can expresse thine indignation against a Nation relapsing to Idolatry Idolatry in any Nation is deadly but when the disease is complicated with a relapse a knowledge and a profession of a former recouerie it is desperate And thine anger workes not onely where the euidence is pregnant and without exception so thou saiest when it is said That certaine men in a Citie haue withdrawne others to Idolatrie and that inquirie is made and it is found true the Citie and the inhabitants and the Cattell are to bee destroied but where there is but a suspicion a rumor of such a relapse to Idolatrie thine anger is awakened and thine indignation stirred In the gouernment of thy seruant Iosua there was a voice that Reuben and Gad with those of Manasseh had built a new altar Israel doth not send one to enquire but the whole congregation gathered to goe vp to warre against them and there went a Prince of euery Tribe And they obiect to them not so much their present declination to Idolatry as their Relapse is the iniquity of Peor too little for vs An idolatry formerly committed and punished with the slaughter of twenty foure thousand delinquents At last Reuben and Gad satisfie them that that Altar was not built for Idolatry but built as a patterne of theirs that they might thereby professe themselues to bee of the same profession that they were and so the Army returned without bloud Euen where it comes not so farre as to an actuall Relapse into Idolatry Thou O my GOD becommest sensible of it though thou who seest the heart all the way preuentest all dangerous effects where there was no ill meaning how euer there were occasion of suspicious rumours giuen to thine Israel of relapsing So odious to thee so aggrauating a weight vpon sinne is a relapse But O my
We scarce heare of any man preferred but wee thinke of our selues that wee might very well haue beene that Man Why might not I haue beene that Man that is carried to his graue now Could I â—it my selfe to stand or sit in any Mans place not to lie in any mans graue I may lacke much of the good parts of the meanest but I lâ—cke nothing of the mortality of the weakest Thâ—y may haue acquired better abilities than I but I was borne to as many infirmities as they To be an incumbent by lying down in a graue to be a Doctor by teaching Mortiâ—ication by Example by dying though I may haue seniors others may be elder than I yet I haue proceeded apace in a good Vniuersity and gone a great way in a little time by the furtherance of a vehement feuer and whomsoeuer these Bells bring to the ground to day if hee and I had beene compared yesterday perchance I should haue been thought likelier to come to this preferment then than he God hath kept the power of death in his owne hands lest any Man should bribe death If man knew the gaine of death the ease of death he would solicite he would prouoke death to assist him by any â—and which he might vse But as when men see many of their owne professions preferd it ministers a hope that that may light vpon them so when these hourely Bells tell me of so many funerals of men like me it presents if not a desire that it may yet a comfort whensoeuer mine shall come 16. EXPOSTVLATION MY God my God I doe not expostulate with thee but with them who dare doe that Who dare expostulate with thee when in the voice of thy Church thou giuest allowance to this Ceremony of Bells at funeralls Is it enough to refuse it because it was in vse amongst the Gentiles so were funeralls too Is it because some abuses may haue crept in amongst Christians Is that enough that their ringing hath been said to driue away euill spirits Truly that is so farre true as that the euill spirit is vehemently vexed in their ringing therefore because that action brings the Congregation together and vnites God and his people to the destruction of that Kingdome which the euill spirit vsurps In the first institution of thy Church in this world in the foundation of thy Militant Church amongst the Iewes thou didst appoint the calling of the assembly in to bee by Trumpet and when they were in then thou gauest them the sound of Bells in the garment of thy Priest â— In the Triumphant Church thou imploiest both too but in an inuerted Order we enter into the Triumphant Church by the sound of Bells for we enter when we die And then we receiue our further edification or consummation by the sound of Trumpets at the Resurrection The sound of thy Trumpets thou didst impart to secular aâ—d ciuill vses too but the sound of Bells onely to sacred Lord let not vs breake the Communion of Saints in that which was intended for the aduancement of it let not that pull vs asunder froÌ„ one another which was intended for the assembling of vs in the Militant and associating of vs to the Triumphant Church But he for whose funerall these Bells ring now was at home at his iournies end yesterday why ring they now A Man that is a world is all the things in the world Hee is an Army and when an Army marches the Vaunt may lodge to night where the Reare comes not till to morrow A man extends to his Act and to his example to that which he does and that which he teaches so doe those things that concerne him so doe these bells That which rung yesterday was to conuay him out of the world in his vaunt in his souleâ— that which rung to day was to bring him in his Reare in his body to the Church And this continuing of ringing after his entring is to bring him to mee in the application Where I lie I could heare the Psalme and did ioine with the Congregation in it but I could not heare the Sermon and these latter bells are a repetition Sermon to mee But O my God my God doe I that haue this feauer need other remembrances of my Mortalitie Is not mine owne hollow voice voice enough to pronounce that to me Need I looke vpon a Deaths-head in a Ring that haue one in my face or goe for death to my Neighbours house that haue him in my bosome We cannot wee cannot O my God take in too many helps for religious duties I know I cannot haue any better Image of thee than thy Sonne nor any better Image of him than his Gospell yet must not I with thanks confesse to thee that some historicall pictures of his haue sometimes put mee vpon better Meditations than otherwise I should haue fallen vpon I know thy Church needed not to haue taken in from Iew or Gentile any supplies for the exaltation of thy glory or our deuotion of absolute necessitie I know â—hee needed not But yet wee owe thee our thanks that thou hast giuen her leaue to doe so and that as in making vs Christians thou diddest not destroy that which wee were before naturall men so in the exalting of our religious deuotions noâ— we are Christians thou hast beene pleased to continue to vs those assistances which did worke vpon the affections of naturall men before for thou louest a good man as thou louest a good Christian and though Grace bee meerely from thee yet thou doest not plant Grace but in good natures 16. PRAYER O Eternall and most gracious God who hauing consecrated our liuing bodies to thine owne Spirit and made vs Temples of the holy Ghost doest also requirâ— a respect to bee giuen to these Temples euen when the Priest is gone out of them To these bodies when the soule is departed from them I blesse and glorifie thy Name that as thou takest care in our life of euery haire of our head so doest thou also of euery graine of ashes after our death Neither doest thou only doe good to vs all in life and death but also wouldest haue vs doe good to one another as in a holy life so in those things which accompanie our death In that Contemplation I make account that I heare this dead brother of ours who is now carried out to his buriall to speake to mee and to preach my funerall Sermon in the voice of these Bells In him O God thou hast accomplished to mee euen the request of Diues to Abraham Thou hast sent one from the dead to speake vnto mee He speakes to mee aloud from that steeple hee whispers to mee at these Curtaines and hee speaks thy words Blessed are the dead which die in the Lord from henceforth Let this praier therfore O my God be as my last gaspe my expiring my dying in thee That if this bee the houre of my transmigration I may die the
death of a sinner drowned in my sinnes in the bloud of thy Sonne And if I liue longer yet I may now die the death of the righteous die to sinne which death is a resurrection to a new life Thou killest and thou giuest life which soeuer comes it comes from thee which way soeuer it comes let mee come to thee 17. Nunc lento sonitu dicunt Morieris Now this Bell tolling softly for another saies to me Thou must die 17. MEDITATION PErchance hee for whom this Bell tolls may bee so ill as that he knowes not it tolls for him And perchance I may thinke my selfe so much better than I am as that they who are about mee and see my state may haue caused it to toll for mee and I know not that The Church is Catholike vniuersall so are all her Actions All that she does belongs to all When she baptizes a child that action concernes mee for that child is thereby connected to that Head which is my Head too and engraffeâ— into that body whereof I am a member And when she buries a Man that action concernes me All mankinde is of one Author and is one volume when one Man dies one Chapter is not torne out of the booke but translated into a better language and euery Chapter must be so translated God emploies seuerall translators some peeces are translated by Age some by sicknesse some by warre some by iustice but Gods hand is in euery translation and his hand shall binde vp all our scattered leaues againe for that Librarie where euery booke shall lie open to one another As therefore the Bell that rings to a Sermon calls not vpon the Preacher onely but vpon the Congregation to come so this Bell calls vs all but how much more mee who am brought so neere the doore by this sicknesse There was a contention as farre as a suite in which both pietie and dignitie religion and estimation were minglâ—d which of the religious Orders should ring to praiers first in the Morning and it was determined that they should ring first that rose earliest If we vnderstand aright the dignitie of this Bell that rolls for our euening prayer wee would bee glad to make it ours by rising early in that application that it might bee ours as wel as his whose indeed it is The Bell doth toll for him that thinkes it doth and though it intermit againe yet from that minute that that occasion wrought vpon him hee is vnited to God Who casts not vp his Eie to the Sunne when it rises but who takes off his Eie from a Comâ—t when that breakes out who bends not his eare to any bell which vpon any occasion rings but who can remoue it from that bell which is passing a peece of himselfe out of this world No Man is an Iland intire of it selfe euery man is a peece of the Continent a part of the maine if a Clod bee washed away by the Sea Europe is the lâ—sse as well as if a Promontorie were as well as if a Mannor of thy friends or of thine owne were Any Mans death diminishes me because I am inuolued in Mankinde And therefore neuer send to know for whom the bell tolls It tolls for thee Neither can we call this a begging of Miserie or a borrowing of Miserie as though we were not miserable enough of our selues but must feâ—ch in more from the next house in taking vpon vs the Miserie of our Neighbours Truly it were an excusable couetousnesse if wee did for affliction is a treasure and â—carce any Man hath enough of it No Man hath affliction enough that is not matured and ripened by it and madâ—â—it for God by that affliction If a Man carry treasure in bullion or in a wedge of gold and haue none coined into currant Monies his treasure will not defray him as he trauells Tribulation is Treasure in the nature of it but it is not currant money in the vse of it except wee get nearer and nearer our home heauen by it Another Man may be sicke too and sicke to death and this afâ—liction may lie in his bowels as gold in a Mine and be of no vse to himâ— but this bell that tels mee of his afâ—liction digs out and applies that gold to mee â— if by this consideration of anothers danger I take minâ— owne into Contemplation and so secure my selfe by making my recourse to my God who is our onely securitie 17. EXPOSTVLATION MY God my God Is this one of thy waies of drawing light out of darknesse To make him for whom this bell tolls now in this dimnesse of his sight to become a superintendent an ouerseer a Bishop to as many as heare his voice in this bell and to giue vs a confirmation in this action Is this one of thy waies to raise strength out of weaknesse to make him who cannot rise from his bed nor stirre in his bed come home to me and in this sound giue mee the strength of healthy and vigorous instructions O my God my God what Thunder is not a well-tuned Cymball what hoarsenesse what harshnesse is not a cleare Organ if thou bee pleased to set thy voice to it and what Organ is not well plaied on if thy hand bee vpon it Thy voice thy hand is in this sound and in this one sound I heare this whole Consort I heare thy Iaacob call vnto his sonnes and â—ay Gather your selues together that I may tell you what shall befall you in the last daies He saies That which I am now you must bee then I heare thy Moses telling mee and all within the compasse of this sound This is the blessing wherewith I blesse you before my death This that before your death you would consider your owne in mine I heare thy Prophet saying to Ezechias Set thy house in order for thou shalt die and not liue Hee makes vs of his familie and calls this a setting of his house in order to compose vs to the meditation of death I heare thy Apostle saying I thinke it meet to put â—ou in remembrance knowing that shortly I must goe out of this Tabernacle This is the publishing of his will this bell is our legacie the applying of his present condition to our vse I heare that which makes al sounds musique and all musique perfit I heare thy Sonne himselfe â—aying Let not your hearts be troubled â— Only I heare this change that whereas thy Sonne saies there I goe to prepare a place for you this man in thiâ— sound saies I send to prepare you for a place for a graue But O my God my God since heauen is glory and ioy why doe not glorious and ioyfull things leade vs induce vs to heauen Thy legacies in thy first will in thy old Testament were plentie and victorie Wine and Oile Milke and Honie alliances of friends ruine of enemies peacefull hearts cheerefull countenances and by these galleries thou broughtest them