this_o sentence_n fall_v upon_o my_o soul_n thy_o righteousness_n be_v in_o heaven_n and_o methinks_v withal_o i_o see_v with_o the_o eye_n of_o my_o soul_n jesus_n christ_n at_o god_n right_a hand_n there_o i_o say_v as_o my_o righteousness_n so_o that_o wherever_o i_o be_v or_o whatever_o i_o be_v a_o do_v god_n can_v not_o say_v of_o i_o he_o want_v my_o righteousness_n for_o that_o be_v just_a before_o he_o i_o also_o see_v moreover_o that_o it_o be_v not_o my_o good_a frame_n of_o heart_n that_o make_v my_o righteousness_n better_o nor_o yet_o my_o bad_a frame_n that_o make_v my_o righteousness_n worse_o for_o my_o righteousness_n be_v jesus_n christ_n himself_o the_o same_o yesterday_o to_o day_n and_o for_o ever_o heb._n 13.8_o 184._o now_o do_v my_o chain_n fall_v off_o my_o leg_n indeed_o i_o be_v loose_v from_o my_o affliction_n and_o iron_n my_o temptation_n also_o flee_v away_o so_o that_o from_o that_o time_n those_o dreadful_a scripture_n of_o god_n leave_v off_o to_o trouble_v i_o now_o go_v i_o also_o home_n rejoice_v for_o the_o grace_n and_o love_n of_o god_n so_o when_o i_o care_v home_o i_o look_v to_o see_v if_o i_o can_v find_v that_o sentence_n thy_o righteousness_n be_v in_o heaven_n but_o can_v not_o find_v such_o a_o say_v wherefore_o my_o heart_n begin_v to_o sink_v again_o only_o that_o be_v bring_v to_o my_o remembrance_n he_o be_v make_v unto_o we_o of_o god_n wisdom_n righteousness_n sanctification_n and_o redemption_n by_o this_o word_n i_o see_v the_o other_o sentence_n true_a 185._o for_o by_o this_o scripture_n i_o see_v that_o the_o man_n christ_n jesus_n as_o he_o be_v distinct_a from_o we_o as_o touch_v his_o bodily_a presence_n so_o he_o be_v our_o righteousness_n and_o sanctification_n before_o god_n here_o therefore_o i_o live_v for_o some_o time_n very_o sweet_o at_o peace_n with_o god_n through_o christ_n o_o methinks_v christ_n christ_n there_o be_v nothing_o but_o christ_n that_o be_v before_o my_o eye_n i_o be_v not_o now_o only_o for_o look_v upon_o this_o and_o the_o other_o benefit_n of_o christ_n apart_o as_o of_o his_o blood_n burial_n or_o resurrection_n but_o consider_v he_o as_o whole_a christ_n as_o he_o in_o who_o all_o these_o and_o all_o his_o other_o virtue_n relation_n office_n and_o operation_n meet_v together_o and_o that_o on_o the_o right_a hand_n of_o god_n in_o heaven_n 186._o it_o be_v glorious_a to_o i_o to_o see_v his_o exaltation_n and_o the_o worth_n and_o prevalencie_n of_o all_o his_o benefit_n and_o that_o because_o of_o this_o now_o i_o can_v look_v from_o myself_o to_o he_o and_o shall_v reckon_v that_o all_o those_o grace_n of_o god_n that_o now_o be_v green_a in_o i_o be_v yet_o but_o like_o those_o crack'd-groat_n and_o four-pence-half-penny_n that_o rich_a man_n carry_v in_o their_o purse_n when_o their_o gold_n be_v in_o their_o trunk_n at_o home_n o_o i_o see_v my_o gold_n be_v in_o my_o trunk_n at_o home_n in_o christ_n my_o lord_n and_o saviour_n now_o christ_n be_v all_o all_o my_o wisdom_n all_o my_o righteousness_n all_o my_o sanctification_n and_o all_o my_o redemption_n 187._o further_o the_o lord_n do_v also_o lead_v i_o into_o the_o mystery_n of_o union_n with_o this_o son_n of_o god_n that_o i_o be_v join_v to_o he_o that_o i_o be_v flesh_n of_o his_o flesh_n and_o bone_n of_o his_o bone_n and_o now_o be_v that_o a_o sweet_a word_n to_o i_o in_o ephes._n 5.3_o by_o this_o also_o be_v my_o faith_n in_o he_o as_o my_o righteousness_n the_o more_o confirm_v to_o i_o for_o if_o he_o and_o i_o be_v one_o than_o his_o righteousness_n be_v i_o his_o merit_n my_o his_o victory_n also_o i_o now_o can_v i_o see_v myself_o in_o heaven_n and_o earth_n at_o once_o in_o heaven_n by_o my_o christ_n by_o my_o head_n by_o my_o righteousness_n and_o life_n though_o on_o earth_n by_o my_o body_n or_o person_n 188._o now_o i_o see_v christ_n jesus_n be_v look_v on_o of_o god_n and_o shall_v also_o be_v look_v upon_o by_o we_o as_o that_o common_a or_o public_a person_n in_o who_o all_o tâ—e_v whole_a body_n of_o his_o elect_n be_v always_o to_o be_v consider_v and_o reckon_v that_o we_o fulfil_v the_o law_n by_o he_o die_v by_o he_o rose_z from_o the_o dead_a by_o he_o get_v the_o victory_n over_o sin_n death_n the_o devil_n and_o hell_n by_o he_o when_o he_o die_v we_o die_v and_o so_o of_o his_o resurrection_n thy_o dead_a man_n shall_v live_v together_o with_o my_o dead_a body_n shall_v they_o arise_v say_v he_o isa._n 26._o and_o again_o after_o two_o day_n he_o will_v revive_v we_o and_o the_o three_o day_n we_o shall_v live_v in_o his_o sight_n hos._n 6.2_o which_o be_v now_o fulfil_v by_o the_o sit_v down_o of_o the_o son_n of_o man_n on_o the_o right_a hand_n of_o the_o majesty_n in_o the_o heaven_n according_a to_o that_o to_o the_o ephesian_n he_o have_v raise_v we_o up_o together_o and_o make_v we_o sit_v together_o in_o heavenly_a place_n in_o christ_n jesus_n ephes._n 2.6_o 189._o ah_o these_o bless_a consideration_n and_o scripture_n with_o many_o other_o of_o a_o like_a nature_n be_v in_o those_o day_n make_v to_o spangle_v in_o my_o eye_n praise_v you_o the_o lord_n god_n in_o his_o sanctuary_n praise_v he_o in_o the_o firmament_n of_o his_o power_n praise_v he_o for_o his_o mighty_a act_n praise_v he_o according_a to_o his_o excellent_a greatness_n psal._n 150.1_o 2._o 190._o have_v thus_o in_o few_o word_n giâ—en_v you_o a_o taste_n of_o the_o sorrow_n and_o affliction_n that_o my_o soul_n go_v under_o by_o the_o guilt_n and_o terror_n that_o this_o my_o wicked_a thought_n do_v lay_v i_o under_o and_o have_v give_v you_o also_o a_o touch_n of_o my_o deliverance_n therefrom_o and_o of_o the_o sweet_a and_o bless_a comfort_n that_o i_o meet_v with_o afterward_o which_o comfort_n dwell_v about_o a_o twelvemonth_n with_o my_o heart_n to_o my_o unspeakable_a admiraration_n i_o will_v now_o god_n will_v before_o i_o proceed_v any_o further_a give_v yoâ—_n in_o a_o word_n or_o two_o what_o as_o i_o conceive_v be_v the_o cause_n of_o this_o temptation_n and_o also_o after_o thaâ—_n what_o advantage_n at_o tâ—e_v last_v it_o become_v unto_o my_o soul_n 191._o for_o the_o cause_n i_o conceive_v they_o be_v principal_o two_o of_o which_o two_o also_o i_o be_v deep_o convince_v all_o the_o time_n this_o trouble_n lie_v upon_o i_o the_o first_o be_v foâ—_n that_o i_o do_v not_o when_o i_o be_v deliver_v from_o the_o temptation_n that_o go_v before_o still_o pray_v to_o god_n to_o keep_v i_o from_o temptation_n that_o be_v to_o come_v for_o though_o as_o i_o can_v say_v in_o truth_n my_o soul_n be_v much_o in_o prayer_n before_o this_o trial_n seize_v i_o yet_o than_o i_o pray_v only_o or_o at_o the_o most_o principal_o for_o the_o removal_n of_o present_a trouble_n and_o for_o fâ—esh_a discovery_n of_o love_n in_o christ_n which_o i_o see_v afterwards_o be_v not_o enough_o to_o do_v i_o also_o shall_v have_v pray_v that_o the_o great_a god_n will_v keep_v i_o from_o the_o evil_a that_o be_v to_o come_v 192._o of_o thâ—s_n i_o be_v make_v deep_o sensible_a by_o the_o prayer_n of_o holy_a david_n who_o when_o he_o be_v under_o present_a mercy_n yet_o pray_v that_o god_n will_v hold_v he_o back_o from_o sin_n and_o temptation_n to_o come_v for_o then_o say_v he_o shall_v i_o be_v upright_o and_o i_o shall_v be_v innocent_a from_o the_o great_a transgression_n psal._n 19.13_o by_o this_o very_a word_n be_v i_o gauâ—ed_v and_o condemn_v quite_o through_o this_o long_a temptation_n 193._o that_o also_o be_v another_o word_n that_o do_v much_o condemn_v i_o for_o my_o folly_n in_o the_o neglect_n of_o this_o duty_n heb._n 4.16_o let_v we_o therefore_o come_v bold_o to_o the_o throne_n of_o grace_n that_o we_o may_v obtain_v mercy_n and_o find_v grace_n to_o help_v in_o time_n of_o need_n this_o i_o have_v not_o do_v and_o therefore_o be_v suffer_v thus_o to_o sin_n and_o fall_v according_a to_o what_o be_v write_v pray_v that_o you_o enter_v not_o into_o temptation_n and_o tru_o this_o veâ—y_a thing_n be_v to_o this_o day_n of_o such_o weight_n and_o awe_n upon_o i_o that_o i_o dare_v not_o when_o i_o come_v before_o the_o loâ—d_n go_v off_o my_o knee_n until_o i_o entreat_v he_o for_o help_n and_o mercy_n against_o the_o â—_z that_o be_v to_o come_v and_o i_o do_v beseech_v thou_o reader_n that_o thou_o learn_v to_o beware_v of_o my_o negligence_n by_o the_o affliction_n that_o for_o this_o thing_n i_o do_v for_o day_n and_o month_n and_o year_n with_o sorrow_n undergo_v 194._o another_o cause_n of_o this_o temptation_n be_v that_o i_o have_v tempt_v god_n and_o on_o this_o manner_n do_v i_o do_v it_o upon_o a_o
have_v be_v make_v upon_o it_o 249._o just_o thus_o i_o see_v it_o be_v and_o will_v be_v with_o they_o who_o have_v gift_n but_o want_v saving-grace_n they_o be_v in_o the_o hand_n of_o christ_n as_o the_o cymbal_n in_o the_o hand_n of_o david_n and_o as_o david_n can_v with_o the_o cymbal_n make_v that_o mirth_n in_o the_o service_n of_o god_n as_o to_o elevate_v the_o heart_n of_o the_o worshipper_n so_o christ_n can_v use_v these_o gift_a man_n as_o with_o they_o to_o affect_v the_o soul_n of_o his_o people_n in_o his_o church_n yet_o when_o he_o have_v do_v all_o hang_v they_o by_o as_o lifeless_a though_o sound_v cymbal_n 250._o this_o consideration_n therefore_o together_o with_o some_o other_o be_v for_o the_o most_o part_n as_o a_o maul_v on_o the_o head_n of_o pride_n and_o desire_n of_o vainglory_n what_o think_v i_o shall_v i_o be_v proud_a because_o i_o be_o a_o sound_a brass_n be_v it_o so_o much_o to_o be_v a_o fiddle_n have_v not_o the_o least_o creature_n that_o have_v life_n more_o of_o god_n in_o it_o than_o these_o beside_o i_o know_v it_o be_v love_n shall_v never_o die_v but_o these_o must_v cease_v and_o vanish_v so_o i_o conclude_v a_o little_a grace_n a_o little_a love_n a_o little_a of_o the_o true_a fear_n of_o god_n be_v better_a than_o all_o these_o gift_n yea_o and_o i_o be_o full_o convince_v of_o it_o that_o it_o be_v possible_a for_o a_o soul_n that_o can_v scarce_o give_v a_o man_n a_o answer_n but_o with_o great_a confusion_n as_o to_o method_n i_o say_v it_o be_v possible_a for_o they_o to_o have_v a_o thousand_o time_n more_o grace_n and_o so_o to_o be_v more_o in_o the_o love_n and_o favour_n of_o the_o lord_n than_o some_o who_o by_o virtue_n of_o the_o gift_n of_o knowledge_n can_v deliver_v themselves_o like_o angel_n a_o brief_a account_n of_o the_o author_n imprisonment_n 251._o have_v make_v profession_n of_o the_o glorious_a gospel_n of_o christ_n along_o time_n and_o have_v preach_v the_o same_o about_o five_o year_n i_o be_v apprehend_v at_o a_o meeting_n of_o good_a people_n in_o the_o country_n among_o who_o have_v they_o let_v i_o alone_o i_o shall_v â—â—ve_v preach_v that_o day_n but_o they_o take_v i_o away_o from_o among_o they_o and_o have_v i_o before_o a_o justice_n who_o after_o i_o have_v offer_v security_n for_o my_o appear_v at_o the_o next_o session_n yet_o commit_v i_o because_o my_o surety_n will_v not_o consent_v to_o be_v bind_v that_o i_o shall_v preach_v no_o more_o to_o the_o people_n 252._o at_o the_o session_n after_o i_o be_v indict_v for_o a_o upholder_n and_o maintainer_n of_o unlawful_a assembly_n and_o conventicle_n and_o for_o not_o conform_v to_o the_o national_a worship_n of_o the_o church_n of_o england_n and_o after_o some_o conference_n there_o with_o the_o justice_n be_v sentence_v to_o perpetual_a banishment_n because_o i_o refuse_v to_o conform_v so_o be_v again_o deliver_v â—p_n to_o the_o gaoler_n hand_n i_o be_v have_v home_o to_o prison_n again_o and_o there_o have_v lie_v now_o above_o five_o year_n and_o a_o quarter_n wait_v to_o see_v what_o god_n will_v suffer_v these_o mâ—n_z to_o do_v with_o i_o 253._o in_o which_o condition_n i_o have_v continue_v wiâ—h_v much_o content_n through_o grace_n but_o have_v meet_v with_o many_o tuâ—nings_n and_o going_n upon_o my_o heart_n both_o fâ—om_n the_o lord_n satan_n and_o my_o own_o corruption_n by_o all_o which_o glory_n be_v to_o jesus_n christ_n i_o have_v also_o receive_v among_o many_o thing_n much_o conviction_n instruction_n and_o understanding_n of_o which_o at_o laâ—ge_n i_o shall_v not_o here_o discourse_n only_o give_v you_o in_o a_o hint_n or_o two_o a_o word_n that_o may_v stir_v up_o the_o godly_a to_o bless_v god_n and_o to_o pray_v for_o i_o and_o also_o to_o take_v encouragement_n shall_v the_o case_n be_v their_o own_o not_o to_o fear_v what_o man_n can_v do_v unto_o they_o 254._o i_o never_o have_v in_o all_o my_o life_n so_o great_a a_o inlet_n into_o the_o word_n of_o god_n as_o now_o they_o scripture_n that_o i_o see_v nothing_o in_o before_o be_v make_v in_o this_o place_n and_o state_n to_o shine_v upon_o i_o jesus_n christ_n alâ—o_o be_v never_o more_o reâ—l_a and_o apparent_a then_o now_o here_o i_o have_v see_v he_o and_o feel_v he_o indeed_o o_o that_o word_n we_o have_v not_o preach_v unto_o you_o cunning_o devise_v fable_n 2_o pet._n 1_o 16._o and_o that_o god_n raise_v christ_n from_o the_o dead_a and_o give_v he_o glory_n that_o your_o faith_n and_o hope_n may_v be_v in_o god_n 1_o pet._n 1.20_o be_v bless_a word_n unto_o i_o in_o this_o my_o imprison_a condition_n 255._o these_o three_o or_o four_o scripture_n also_o have_v be_v great_a refreshment_n in_o this_o condition_n to_o i_o joh._n 14.1_o 2_o 3_o 4._o joh._n 16.33_o col._n 3.3_o 4._o heb._n 12.22_o 23_o 24._o so_o that_o sometime_o when_o i_o have_v be_v in_o the_o favour_n of_o they_o i_o have_v be_v able_a to_o laugh_v at_o destruction_n and_o â—o_o fear_v neiâ—her_o the_o horse_n nor_o his_o rider_n i_o have_v have_v sweet_a sight_n of_o the_o forgiveness_n of_o my_o sin_n in_o this_o place_n and_o of_o my_o be_v with_o jesus_n in_o another_o world_n o_o the_o mount_n zion_n the_o heavenly_a jerusalem_n the_o innumerable_a company_n of_o angel_n and_o god_n the_o judge_n of_o all_o and_o the_o spirit_n of_o just_a man_n make_v perfect_a and_o jesus_n have_v be_v sweet_a unto_o i_o in_o this_o place_n i_o have_v see_v that_o here_o that_o i_o be_o persuade_v i_o shall_v never_o while_o in_o this_o world_n be_v able_a to_o express_v i_o have_v see_v a_o truth_n in_o that_o scripture_n who_o have_v not_o see_v you_o love_v in_o who_o though_o now_o you_o see_v he_o not_o yet_o believe_v you_o rejoice_v with_o joy_n unspeakable_a and_o full_a of_o glory_n 1_o pet._n 1.8_o 256._o i_o never_o know_v what_o it_o be_v for_o god_n to_o stand_v by_o i_o at_o all_o turn_n and_o at_o every_o offer_n of_o satan_n etc._n etc._n as_o i_o have_v find_v he_o since_o i_o come_v in_o hither_o for_o look_v how_o fear_n have_v present_v themselves_o so_o have_v support_n and_o encouragement_n yea_o when_o i_o have_v start_v even_o as_o it_o be_v at_o nothing_o else_o but_o my_o shadow_n yet_o god_n as_o be_v very_o tender_a of_o i_o have_v not_o suffer_v i_o to_o be_v molest_v but_o will_v with_o one_o scripture_n and_o another_o strengthen_v i_o against_o all_o insomuch_o that_o i_o have_v often_o say_v be_v it_o lawful_a i_o can_v pray_v for_o great_a trouble_n for_o the_o great_a comfort_n sake_n eccles._n 7.14_o 2_o cor._n 1.5_o 257._o before_o i_o come_v to_o prison_n i_o see_v what_o be_v a_o come_n and_o have_v especial_o two_o consideration_n wâ—rm_v upon_o my_o heart_n the_o first_o be_v how_o to_o be_v able_a to_o endure_v shall_v my_o imprisonment_n be_v lonâ—_n and_o tedious_a the_o second_o be_v how_o to_o be_v able_a to_o encounter_v death_n shall_v that_o be_v here_o my_o portion_n for_o the_o first_o of_o these_o that_o scripture_n col._n 1.11_o be_v great_a information_n to_o i_o namely_o to_o pray_v to_o god_n to_o be_v strengthen_v with_o all_o might_n according_a to_o his_o glorious_a power_n unto_o all_o patience_n and_o long-suffering_a with_o joyfulness_n i_o can_v seldom_o go_v to_o prayer_n before_o i_o be_v imprison_v but_o for_o not_o so_o little_a as_o a_o year_n together_o this_o sentence_n of_o sweet_a petition_n will_v as_o it_o be_v thrust_v itself_o into_o my_o mind_n and_o persuade_v i_o that_o if_o ever_o i_o will_v go_v through_o long-suffering_a i_o must_v have_v all_o patience_n especial_o if_o i_o will_v endure_v it_o joyful_o 258._o as_o to_o the_o second_o consideration_n that_o say_v 2_o cor._n 1.9_o be_v of_o great_a use_n unto_o i_o but_o we_o have_v the_o sentence_n of_o death_n in_o ourselves_o that_o we_o may_v not_o trust_v in_o ourselves_o but_o in_o god_n that_o raise_v the_o dead_a by_o this_o scripture_n i_o be_v make_v to_o see_v that_o if_o ever_o i_o will_v suffer_v right_o i_o must_v first_o pass_v a_o sentence_n of_o death_n upon_o every_o thing_n that_o can_v proper_o be_v call_v a_o thing_n of_o this_o life_n even_o to_o reckon_v myself_o my_o wife_n my_o child_n my_o health_n my_o enjoyment_n and_o all_o as_o dead_a to_o i_o &_o myself_o as_o dead_a to_o they_o 259._o the_o second_o be_v to_o live_v upon_o god_n that_o be_v invisible_a as_o paul_n say_v in_o another_o place_n the_o way_n not_o to_o faint_v be_v to_o look_v not_o at_o the_o thing_n that_o be_v see_v but_o at_o the_o thing_n that_o be_v not_o see_v for_o the_o thing_n that_o be_v see_v be_v temporal_a but_o the_o thing_n that_o be_v not_o see_v they_o
the_o king_n contrary_a to_o the_o law_n esth._n 4.16_o i_o think_v also_o of_o benhadad_n servant_n who_o go_v with_o rope_n upon_o their_o head_n to_o their_o enemy_n for_o mercy_n 1_o kin._n 20.31_o etc._n etc._n the_o woman_n of_o canaan_n also_o that_o will_v not_o be_v daunt_v though_o call_v dog_n by_o christ_n mat._n 15.22_o etc._n etc._n and_o the_o man_n that_o go_v to_o borrow_v bread_n at_o midnight_n luk._n 11.5_o 6_o 7_o 8_o etc._n etc._n be_v great_a encouragement_n unto_o i_o 206._o i_o never_o see_v those_o height_n and_o depth_n in_o grace_n and_o love_n and_o mercy_n as_o i_o see_v after_o this_o temptation_n great_a sin_n do_v draw_v out_o great_a grace_n and_o where_o guilt_n be_v most_o terrible_a and_o fierce_a there_o the_o mercy_n of_o god_n in_o christ_n when_o show_v to_o the_o soul_n appear_v most_o high_a and_o mighty_a when_o job_n have_v pass_v through_o his_o captivity_n he_o have_v twice_o as_o much_o as_o he_o have_v before_o job_n 42.10_o bless_a be_v god_n for_o jesus_n christ_n our_o lord_n many_o other_o thing_n i_o may_v here_o make_v observation_n of_o but_o i_o will_v be_v brief_a and_o therefore_o shall_v at_o this_o time_n omit_v they_o and_o do_v pray_v god_n that_o my_o harm_n may_v make_v other_o fear_v to_o offend_v lest_o they_o also_o be_v make_v to_o bear_v the_o iron_n yoke_v as_o i_o 207._o now_o i_o shall_v go_v forward_o to_o give_v you_o a_o relation_n of_o other_o of_o the_o lord_n deal_n with_o i_o of_o his_o deal_n with_o i_o at_o sundâ—y_a other_o season_n and_o of_o the_o temptation_n i_o then_o do_v meet_v withal_o i_o shall_v begin_v with_o what_o i_o meet_v with_o when_o i_o first_o do_v join_v in_o fellowship_n with_o the_o people_n of_o god_n in_o bedford_n after_o i_o have_v propound_v to_o the_o church_n that_o my_o desire_n be_v to_o walk_v in_o the_o order_n and_o ordinance_n of_o christ_n with_o they_o and_o be_v also_o admit_v by_o they_o while_o i_o think_v of_o that_o bless_a ordinance_n of_o christ_n which_o be_v his_o last_o supper_n with_o his_o disciple_n before_o his_o death_n that_o scripture_n do_v this_o in_o remembrance_n of_o i_o luk._n 22.19_o be_v make_v a_o very_a precious_a word_n unto_o i_o for_o by_o it_o the_o lord_n do_v come_v down_o upon_o my_o conscience_n with_o the_o discovery_n of_o his_o death_n for_o my_o sin_n and_o as_o i_o then_o feel_v do_v as_o if_o he_o plunge_v i_o in_o the_o virtue_n of_o the_o same_o but_o behold_v i_o have_v not_o be_v long_o a_o partaker_n at_o that_o ordinance_n but_o such_o fierce_a and_o sad_a temptation_n do_v attend_v i_o at_o all_o time_n therein_o both_o to_o blaspheme_v the_o ordinance_n and_o to_o wish_v some_o deadly_a thing_n to_o those_o that_o then_o do_v eat_v thereof_o that_o lest_o i_o shall_v at_o any_o time_n be_v guilty_a of_o consent_v to_o these_o wicked_a and_o fearful_a thought_n i_o be_v force_v to_o bend_v myself_o all_o the_o while_n to_o pray_v to_o god_n to_o keep_v i_o from_o such_o blasphemy_n and_o also_o to_o cry_v to_o god_n to_o bless_v the_o bread_n and_o cup_n to_o they_o as_o it_o go_v from_o mouth_n to_o mouth_n the_o reason_n of_o this_o temptation_n i_o have_v think_v since_o be_v because_o i_o do_v not_o with_o that_o reverence_n at_o first_o approach_n to_o partake_v thereof_o 208._o thus_o i_o continue_v for_o three_o quarter_n of_o a_o year_n and_o can_v never_o have_v rest_n nor_o ease_n but_o at_o last_o the_o lord_n come_v in_o upon_o my_o soul_n with_o that_o same_o scripture_n by_o which_o my_o soul_n be_v visit_v before_o and_o after_o that_o i_o have_v be_v usual_o very_o well_o and_o comfortable_a in_o the_o partake_n of_o that_o bless_a ordinance_n and_o have_v i_o trust_v therein_o discern_v the_o lord_n body_n as_o break_v for_o my_o sin_n and_o that_o his_o precious_a blood_n have_v be_v shed_v for_o my_o transgression_n 209._o upon_o a_o time_n i_o be_v somewhat_o incline_v to_o a_o consumption_n wherefore_o about_o the_o spring_n i_o be_v sudden_o and_o violent_o seize_v with_o much_o weakness_n in_o my_o outward_a man_n insomuch_o that_o i_o think_v i_o can_v not_o live_v now_o begin_v i_o afresh_o to_o give_v myself_o up_o to_o a_o serious_a examination_n after_o my_o state_n and_o condition_n for_o the_o future_a and_o of_o my_o evidence_n for_o that_o bless_a world_n to_o come_v for_o it_o have_v i_o bless_v the_o name_n of_o god_n be_v my_o usual_a course_n as_o always_o so_o especial_o in_o the_o day_n of_o affliction_n to_o endeavour_v to_o keep_v my_o interest_n in_o life_n to_o come_v clear_a before_o my_o eye_n 210._o but_o i_o have_v no_o soon_o begin_v to_o recall_v to_o mind_v my_o former_a experience_n of_o the_o goodness_n of_o god_n to_o my_o soul_n but_o there_o come_v flock_v into_o my_o mind_n a_o innumerable_a company_n of_o my_o sin_n and_o transgression_n among_o which_o these_o be_v at_o this_o time_n most_o to_o my_o affliction_n namely_o my_o deadness_n dulness_n and_o coldness_n in_o holy_a duty_n my_o wander_n of_o heart_n my_o wearisomeness_n in_o all_o good_a thing_n my_o want_n of_o love_n to_o god_n his_o way_n and_o people_n with_o this_o at_o the_o end_n of_o all_o be_v these_o the_o fruit_n of_o christianity_n be_v these_o the_o token_n of_o a_o bless_a man_n 211._o at_o the_o apprehension_n of_o these_o thing_n my_o sickness_n be_v double_v upon_o i_o for_o now_o be_v i_o sick_a in_o my_o inward_a man_n my_o soul_n be_v clog_v with_o guilt_n now_o also_o be_v all_o my_o former_a experience_n of_o god_n goodness_n to_o i_o quite_o take_v out_o of_o my_o mind_n and_o hide_v as_o if_o it_o have_v never_o be_v nor_o see_v now_o be_v my_o soul_n great_o pinch_v between_o these_o two_o consideration_n live_v i_o must_v not_o die_v i_o dare_v not_o now_o i_o sink_v and_o fall_v in_o my_o spirit_n and_o be_v give_v up_o all_o for_o lose_v but_o as_o i_o be_v walk_v up_o and_o down_o in_o the_o house_n as_o a_o man_n in_o a_o most_o woeful_a state_n that_o word_n of_o god_n take_v hold_v of_o my_o heart_n you_o be_v justify_v free_o by_o his_o grace_n through_o the_o redemption_n that_o be_v in_o christ_n jesus_n rom._n 3.24_o 212._o now_o be_v i_o as_o one_o awaken_v out_o of_o some_o troublesome_a sleep_n and_o dream_n and_o listen_v to_o this_o heavenly_a sentence_n i_o be_v as_o if_o i_o hear_v it_o thus_o expound_v to_o i_o sinner_n thou_o think_v that_o because_o of_o thy_o sin_n and_o infirmity_n i_o can_v save_v thy_o soul_n but_o behold_v my_o son_n be_v by_o i_o and_o upon_o he_o i_o look_v and_o not_o on_o tâ—ree_n and_o will_v deal_v with_o thou_o according_a as_o i_o be_o please_v with_o he_o at_o this_o i_o be_v great_o lighten_v in_o my_o mind_n and_o make_v to_o understand_v that_o god_n can_v justify_v a_o sinner_n at_o any_o time_n it_o be_v but_o look_v upon_o christ_n and_o impute_v of_o his_o benefit_n to_o we_o and_o the_o work_n be_v forthwith_o do_v 213._o and_o as_o i_o be_v thus_o in_o a_o muse_n that_o scripture_n come_v with_o great_a power_n upon_o my_o spirit_n not_o by_o work_n of_o righteousness_n that_o we_o have_v do_v but_o according_a to_o his_o mercy_n he_o save_v we_o etc._n etc._n 2_o tim._n 1_o 9_o tit._n 3.5_o now_o be_v i_o get_v on_o high_a i_o see_v myself_o within_o the_o arm_n of_o grace_n and_o mercy_n and_o though_o i_o be_v before_o afraid_a to_o think_v of_o a_o die_a hour_n yet_o now_o i_o cry_v let_v i_o die_v now_o death_n be_v lovely_a and_o beautiful_a in_o my_o sight_n for_o i_o see_v we_o shall_v never_o live_v indeed_o till_o we_o be_v go_v to_o the_o other_o world_n o_o methinks_v this_o life_n be_v but_o a_o slumber_n in_o comparison_n of_o that_o above_o at_o this_o time_n also_o i_o see_v more_o in_o those_o word_n heir_n of_o god_n rom._n 8.17_o then_o ever_o i_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o express_v while_o i_o live_v in_o this_o world_n heir_n of_o god_n god_n himself_o be_v the_o portion_n of_o the_o saint_n this_o i_o see_v and_o wonder_v at_o but_o can_v tell_v you_o what_o i_o see_v 214._o at_o another_o time_n though_o just_a before_o i_o be_v pretty_a well_o and_o savoury_a in_o my_o spirit_n yet_o sudden_o there_o fall_v upon_o i_o a_o great_a cloud_n of_o darkness_n which_o do_v so_o hide_v from_o i_o the_o thing_n of_o god_n and_o christ_n that_o i_o be_v as_o if_o i_o have_v never_o see_v or_o know_v they_o in_o my_o life_n i_o be_v also_o so_o overrun_v in_o my_o soul_n with_o a_o senseless_a heartless_a frame_n of_o spirit_n that_o i_o can_v not_o feel_v my_o soul_n to_o move_v or_o stir_v after_o grace_n and_o life_n
with_o such_o conceit_n as_o these_o i_o shall_v think_v that_o god_n do_v mock_v at_o these_o my_o prayer_n say_v and_o that_o in_o the_o audience_n of_o the_o holy_a angel_n this_o poor_a simple_a wretch_n do_v hanker_v after_o i_o as_o if_o i_o have_v nothing_o to_o do_v with_o my_o mercy_n but_o to_o bestow_v it_o on_o such_o as_o he_o alas_o poor_a fool_n how_o be_v thou_o deceive_v it_o be_v not_o for_o such_o as_o thou_o to_o have_v favour_n with_o the_o high_a 90._o then_o have_v the_o tempter_n come_v upon_o i_o also_o with_o such_o discouragement_n as_o these_o you_o be_v very_o hot_a for_o mercy_n but_o i_o will_v cool_v you_o this_o frame_n shall_v not_o last_v always_o many_o have_v be_v as_o hot_a as_o you_o for_o a_o spirit_n but_o i_o have_v quench_v their_o zeal_n and_o with_o this_o such_o and_o such_o who_o be_v fall_v off_o will_v be_v set_v before_o my_o eye_n than_o i_o shall_v be_v afraid_a that_o i_o shall_v do_v so_o too_o but_o think_v i_o i_o be_o glad_a this_o come_v into_o my_o mind_n well_o i_o will_v watch_v and_o take_v what_o heed_n i_o can_v though_o you_o do_v say_v satan_n i_o shall_v be_v too_o hard_a for_o you_o i_o will_v cool_v you_o insensible_o by_o degree_n by_o little_a and_o little_a what_o care_v i_o say_v he_o though_o i_o be_v seven_o year_n in_o chill_v your_o heart_n if_o i_o can_v do_v it_o at_o last_o continual_a rock_n will_v lull_v a_o cry_a child_n asleep_o i_o will_v ply_v it_o close_o but_o i_o will_v have_v my_o end_n accomplish_v though_o you_o be_v burn_v hot_a at_o present_a yet_o if_o i_o can_v pull_v you_o from_o this_o fire_n i_o shall_v have_v you_o cold_a before_o it_o be_v long_o these_o thing_n bring_v i_o into_o great_a straits_n for_o as_o i_o at_o present_a can_v not_o find_v myself_o fit_a for_o present_a death_n so_o i_o think_v to_o live_v long_o will_v make_v i_o yet_o more_o unfit_a for_o time_n will_v make_v i_o forget_v all_o and_o wear_v even_o the_o remembrance_n of_o the_o evil_a of_o sin_n the_o worth_n of_o heaven_n and_o the_o need_v i_o have_v of_o the_o blood_n of_o châ—ist_n to_o wash_v i_o both_o out_o of_o mind_n and_o thought_n but_o i_o thank_v christ_n jesus_n these_o thing_n do_v not_o at_o present_a make_v i_o slack_v my_o cry_n but_o rather_o do_v put_v i_o more_o upon_o it_o like_o she_o who_o meet_v with_o the_o adulterer_n deut._n 22.25_o in_o which_o day_n that_o be_v a_o good_a word_n to_o i_o after_o i_o have_v suffer_v these_o thing_n a_o while_n i_o be_o persuade_v that_o neither_o death_n nor_o life_n etc._n etc._n shall_v separate_v we_o from_o the_o love_n of_o god_n which_o be_v in_o christ_n jesus_n rom._n 8.38_o and_o now_o i_o hope_v long_a life_n shall_v not_o destroy_v i_o nor_o make_v i_o miss_v of_o heaven_n 91._o yet_o i_o have_v some_o support_n in_o this_o temptation_n though_o they_o be_v then_o all_o question_v by_o i_o that_o in_o the_o three_o of_o jeremiah_n at_o the_o fiâ—st_n be_v something_o to_o i_o and_o so_o be_v the_o consideration_n of_o the_o five_o verse_n of_o that_o chapter_n that_o though_o we_o have_v speak_v and_o do_v evil_a thing_n as_o we_o can_v yet_o we_o shall_v cry_v unto_o god_n my_o father_n thou_o be_v the_o guide_n of_o my_o youth_n and_o shall_v return_v unto_o he_o 92._o i_o have_v also_o once_o a_o sweet_a glance_n from_o that_o in_o â—_o cor._n 5.21_o for_o he_o have_v make_v he_o to_o be_v sin_n for_o we_o who_o know_v no_o sin_n that_o we_o may_v be_v make_v the_o righteousness_n of_o god_n in_o he_o i_o remember_v also_o that_o one_o day_n as_o i_o be_v sit_v in_o a_o neighbour_n house_n and_o there_o very_o sad_a at_o the_o consideration_n of_o my_o many_o blasphemy_n and_o as_o i_o be_v say_v in_o my_o mind_n what_o ground_n have_v i_o to_o think_v that_o i_o who_o have_v be_v so_o vile_a and_o abominable_a shall_v ever_o inherit_v eternal_a life_n that_o word_n come_v sudden_o upon_o i_o what_o shall_v we_o say_v to_o these_o thing_n if_o god_n be_v for_o we_o who_o can_v be_v against_o we_o rom._n 8.31_o that_o also_o be_v a_o help_n unto_o i_o because_o i_o live_v you_o shall_v live_v also_o joh._n 14.19_o but_o these_o be_v but_o hint_n touch_n and_o short_a visit_n though_o very_o sweet_a when_o present_a only_o they_o last_v not_o but_o like_a to_o peter_n sheet_n of_o a_o sudden_a be_v catch_v up_o from_o i_o to_o heaven_n again_o act._n 10.16_o 93._o but_o afterward_o the_o lord_n do_v more_o full_o and_o gracious_o discover_v himself_o unto_o i_o and_o indeed_o do_v quite_o not_o only_o deliver_v i_o from_o the_o guilt_n that_o by_o these_o thing_n be_v lay_v upon_o my_o conscience_n but_o also_o from_o the_o very_a filth_n thereof_o for_o the_o temptation_n be_v remove_v and_o i_o be_v put_v into_o my_o right_a mind_n again_o as_o other_o christian_n be_v 94._o i_o remember_v that_o one_o day_n as_o i_o be_v travel_v into_o the_o country_n and_o muse_v on_o the_o wickedness_n and_o blasphemy_n of_o my_o heart_n and_o consider_v of_o the_o enmity_n that_o be_v in_o i_o to_o god_n that_o scripture_n come_v in_o my_o mind_n he_o have_v make_v peace_n by_o the_o blood_n of_o his_o cross_n col._n 1.20_o by_o which_o i_o be_v make_v to_o see_v both_o again_o and_o again_o and_o again_o that_o day_n that_o god_n and_o my_o soul_n be_v friend_n by_o this_o blood_n yea_o i_o see_v that_o the_o justice_n of_o god_n and_o my_o sinful_a soul_n can_v embrace_v and_o kiss_v each_o other_o through_o this_o blood_n thiâ—_n be_v a_o good_a day_n to_o i_o i_o hope_v i_o shall_v not_o forget_v it_o 95._o at_o another_o time_n as_o i_o be_v set_v by_o the_o fiâ—e_n in_o my_o house_n and_o muse_v on_o my_o wretchedness_n the_o lord_n make_v that_o also_o a_o precious_a word_n unto_o i_o for_o as_o much_o then_o as_o the_o child_n be_v partaker_n of_o flesh_n and_o blood_n he_o also_o himself_o likewise_o take_v part_n of_o thâ—_n same_o that_o through_o death_n he_o may_v destroy_v he_o that_o have_v the_o power_n of_o death_n that_o be_v the_o devil_n and_o deliver_v those_o who_o through_o the_o fear_n of_o death_n be_v all_o their_o life_n time_n subject_a to_o bondage_n heb._n 2.14_o 15._o i_o think_v that_o the_o glory_n of_o these_o word_n be_v then_o so_o weighty_a on_o i_o that_o i_o be_v both_o once_o and_o twice_o ready_a to_o swoon_v as_o i_o sit_v yet_o not_o with_o grief_n and_o trouble_n but_o with_o solid_a joy_n and_o peace_n 96._o at_o this_o time_n also_o i_o sit_v under_o the_o ministry_n of_o holy_a mr._n gifford_n who_o doctrine_n by_o god_n grace_n be_v much_o for_o my_o stability_n this_o man_n make_v it_o much_o his_o business_n to_o deliver_v the_o people_n of_o god_n from_o all_o those_o false_a and_o unsound_a rest_n that_o by_o nature_n we_o be_v prone_a to_o take_v and_o make_v to_o our_o soul_n he_o press_v we_o to_o take_v special_a heed_n that_o we_o take_v not_o up_o any_o truth_n upon_o trust_n as_o from_o this_o or_o that_o or_o another_o man_n or_o man_n but_o to_o cry_v mighty_o to_o god_n that_o he_o will_v convince_v we_o of_o the_o reality_n thereof_o and_o set_v we_o down_o therein_o by_o his_o own_o spirit_n in_o the_o holy_a word_n for_o say_v he_o if_o you_o do_v otherwise_o when_o temptation_n come_v if_o strong_o you_o not_o have_v receive_v they_o with_o evidence_n from_o heaven_n will_v find_v you_o want_v that_o help_n and_o strength_n now_o to_o resist_v as_o once_o you_o think_v you_o have_v 97._o this_o be_v as_o seasonable_a to_o my_o soul_n as_o the_o former_a and_o latter_a rain_n in_o their_o season_n for_o i_o have_v find_v and_o that_o by_o sad_a experience_n the_o truth_n of_o these_o his_o word_n for_o i_o have_v feel_v no_o man_n can_v say_v especial_o when_o tempt_v of_o the_o devil_n that_o jesus_n christ_n be_v lord_n but_o by_o the_o holy_a ghost_n wherefore_o i_o find_v my_o soul_n through_o grace_n very_o apt_a to_o drink_v in_o this_o doctrine_n and_o to_o incline_v to_o pray_v to_o god_n that_o in_o nothing_o that_o pertain_v to_o god_n glory_n and_o my_o own_o eternal_a happiness_n he_o will_v suffer_v i_o to_o be_v without_o the_o confirmation_n thereof_o from_o heaven_n for_o now_o i_o see_v clear_o there_o be_v a_o exceed_a difference_n betwixt_o the_o notion_n of_o flesh_n and_o blood_n and_o the_o revelation_n of_o god_n in_o heaven_n also_o a_o great_a difference_n between_o that_o faith_n that_o be_v feign_v and_o according_a to_o man_n wisdom_n and_o of_o that_o which_o come_v by_o a_o man_n be_v bear_v thereto_o of_o god_n mat._n 16.15_o 16._o 1_o john_n 5.1_o 98._o
transgression_n and_o as_o a_o cloud_n thy_o sin_n return_v unto_o i_o fâ—r_o i_o have_v redeem_v thou_o isa._n 44.22_o but_o i_o can_v not_o return_v but_o flee_v though_o at_o some_o time_n it_o cry_v return_v as_o if_o it_o do_v hollow_a after_o i_o for_o i_o fear_v to_o close_v in_o therewith_o lest_o it_o shall_v not_o come_v from_o god_n for_o that_o other_o be_v still_o sound_v in_o my_o conscience_n for_o you_o know_v how_o that_o afterward_o when_o he_o will_v have_v inherit_v the_o blessing_n he_o be_v reject_v etc._n etc._n 132._o all_o this_o while_n my_o life_n hang_v in_o doubt_n before_o i_o not_o know_v which_o way_n i_o shall_v tip_v only_o this_o i_o find_v my_o soul_n desire_n even_o to_o cast_v itself_o at_o the_o foot_n of_o grace_n by_o prâ—yer_n and_o supplication_n but_o o_o it_o be_v hard_a for_o i_o to_o bear_v the_o face_n to_o pray_v to_o this_o christ_n for_o mercy_n against_o who_o i_o have_v thus_o most_o vile_o sin_v yet_o i_o know_v this_o must_v be_v the_o way_n for_o mercy_n be_v no_o where_o else_o 133._o which_o when_o the_o tempteâ—_n perceive_v he_o strong_o suggest_v to_o i_o that_o i_o ought_v not_o to_o pray_v to_o god_n for_o prayer_n be_v not_o for_o any_o in_o my_o case_n neither_o can_v it_o do_v i_o good_a because_o i_o have_v â—ejected_v the_o mediator_n by_o who_o all_o prayer_n come_v with_o acceptance_n to_o god_n the_o father_n and_o without_o who_o no_o prayer_n can_v come_v into_o his_o presence_n wherefore_o now_o to_o pray_v be_v but_o to_o add_v sin_n to_o sin_n yea_o now_o to_o pray_v see_v god_n have_v cast_v you_o off_o be_v the_o next_o way_n to_o anger_n and_o offend_v he_o more_o than_o ever_o you_o do_v before_o 134._o for_o god_n say_v he_o have_v be_v weary_a of_o you_o for_o these_o several_a year_n already_o because_o you_o aâ—e_v none_o of_o he_o you_o bawl_v in_o his_o ear_n have_v be_v no_o pleasant_a voice_n to_o he_o and_o therefore_o he_o let_v you_o sin_v this_o sin_n that_o you_o may_v be_v quite_o cut_v off_o and_o will_v you_o pray_v still_o this_o the_o devil_n urge_v and_o set_v forth_o by_o that_o in_o number_n which_o moses_n say_v to_o the_o child_n of_o israel_n that_o because_o they_o will_v not_o go_v up_o to_o possess_v the_o land_n when_o god_n will_v have_v they_o therefore_o for_o ever_o after_o he_o do_v bar_v they_o out_o from_o thence_o though_o they_o pray_v they_o may_v with_o tear_n numb_a 14.36_o 37_o etc._n etc._n 135._o as_o it_o be_v say_v in_o another_o place_n exod._n 21.14_o the_o man_n that_o sin_n presumptuos_o shall_v be_v take_v from_o god_n altar_n that_o he_o may_v die_v even_o as_o joab_n be_v by_o king_n solomon_n when_o he_o think_v to_o find_v shelter_n there_o 1_o king_n 2.27_o 28_o etc._n etc._n these_o place_n do_v pinch_v i_o very_o sore_a yet_o my_o case_n be_v desperate_a i_o think_v with_o myself_o i_o can_v but_o die_v and_o if_o it_o must_v be_v so_o it_o shall_v once_o be_v say_v that_o such_o a_o one_o die_v at_o the_o foot_n of_o christ_n in_o prayer_n this_o i_o do_v but_o with_o great_a difficulty_n god_n do_v know_v for_o still_o that_o say_n about_o esau_n will_v be_v set_v at_o my_o heart_n even_o like_o a_o flame_a sword_n to_o keep_v the_o way_n of_o the_o tree_n of_o life_n lest_o i_o shall_v take_v thereof_o and_o live_v o_o who_o know_v how_o hard_o a_o thing_n i_o find_v it_o to_o come_v to_o god_n in_o prayer_n 136._o i_o do_v also_o desire_v the_o prayer_n of_o the_o people_n of_o god_n for_o i_o but_o i_o fear_v that_o god_n will_v give_v they_o no_o heart_n to_o do_v it_o yea_o i_o tremble_v in_o my_o soul_n to_o think_v that_o some_o or_o other_o of_o they_o short_o will_v tell_v i_o that_o god_n have_v say_v those_o word_n to_o â—hem_n that_o he_o once_o do_v say_v to_o the_o prophet_n concern_v the_o child_n of_o israel_n pray_v not_o for_o this_o people_n for_o i_o have_v reject_v they_o jer._n 11.14_o so_o pray_v not_o for_o he_o for_o i_o have_v reject_v he_o yea_o i_o think_v that_o he_o have_v whisper_v this_o to_o some_o of_o they_o already_o only_o they_o dare_v not_o tell_v i_o so_o neither_o dare_v i_o ask_v they_o of_o it_o for_o fear_v if_o it_o shall_v be_v so_o it_o will_v make_v i_o quite_o beside_o myself_o man_n know_v the_o beginning_n of_o sin_n say_v spira_n but_o who_o bound_v the_o issue_n be_v thereof_o 137._o now_o also_o do_v the_o tempter_n begin_v to_o mock_v i_o in_o my_o misery_n say_v that_o see_v i_o have_v thus_o part_v with_o the_o lord_n jesus_n and_o provoke_v he_o to_o displeasure_n who_o shall_v have_v stand_v between_o my_o soul_n and_o the_o flame_n of_o devour_a fire_n the_o way_n be_v now_o but_o one_o and_o that_o be_v to_o pray_v that_o god_n the_o father_n will_v be_v the_o mediator_n betwixt_o his_o son_n and_o i_o that_o we_o may_v be_v reconcile_v again_o and_o that_o i_o may_v have_v that_o bless_a benefit_n in_o he_o that_o his_o bless_a saint_n enjoy_v 138._o then_o do_v that_o scripture_n seize_v upon_o my_o soul_n he_o be_v of_o one_o mind_n and_o who_o can_v turn_v he_o oh_o i_o see_v it_o be_v as_o easy_a to_o persuade_v he_o to_o make_v a_o new_a world_n a_o new_a covenant_n or_o new_a bible_n beside_o that_o we_o have_v already_o as_o to_o pray_v for_o such_o a_o thing_n this_o be_v to_o persuade_v he_o that_o what_o he_o have_v do_v already_o be_v mere_a folly_n and_o to_o persuade_v with_o he_o to_o alter_v yea_o to_o disannul_v the_o whole_a way_n of_o salvation_n and_o then_o will_v that_o say_v rend_v my_o soul_n asunder_o neither_o be_v there_o salvation_n in_o any_o other_o for_o there_o be_v none_o other_o name_n under_o heaven_n give_v among_o man_n whereby_o we_o must_v be_v save_v act._n 4.12_o 139._o now_o the_o most_o free_a and_o full_a and_o gracious_a word_n of_o the_o gospel_n be_v the_o great_a torment_n to_o i_o yea_o nothing_o so_o afflict_v i_o as_o the_o thought_n of_o jesus_n christ_n for_o the_o remembrance_n of_o a_o saviour_n because_o i_o have_v cast_v he_o off_o bring_v both_o the_o villainy_n of_o my_o sin_n and_o my_o loss_n by_o it_o to_o mind_n o_o it_o be_v sad_a to_o be_v destroy_v by_o the_o grace_n and_o mercy_n of_o god_n to_o have_v the_o lamb_n the_o saviour_n turn_v lion_n and_o destroyer_n rev._n 6._o i_o also_o tremble_v at_o the_o sight_n of_o the_o saint_n of_o god_n especial_o at_o those_o that_o great_o love_v he_o and_o that_o make_v it_o their_o business_n to_o walk_v continual_o with_o he_o in_o this_o world_n for_o they_o do_v both_o in_o their_o word_n their_o carriage_n and_o all_o their_o expression_n of_o tenderness_n and_o fear_n to_o sin_n against_o their_o precious_a saviour_n condemn_v lay_v guilt_n upon_o and_o also_o add_v continual_a affliction_n and_o shame_n unâ—o_v my_o soul_n 140._o now_o also_o the_o tempter_n begin_v afresh_o to_o mock_v my_o soul_n say_v that_o christ_n indeed_o do_v pity_v my_o case_n and_o be_v sorry_a for_o my_o loss_n but_o for_o as_o much_o as_o i_o have_v sin_v and_o transgress_v as_o i_o have_v do_v he_o can_v by_o no_o mean_n help_v i_o nor_o save_v i_o from_o what_o i_o fear_v for_o my_o sin_n be_v not_o of_o the_o nature_n of_o they_o for_o who_o he_o bleed_v and_o die_v neither_o be_v it_o count_v with_o those_o that_o be_v lay_v to_o his_o charge_n when_o he_o hang_v on_o the_o tree_n therefore_o unless_o he_o shall_v come_v down_o from_o heaven_n and_o die_v anew_o for_o this_o sin_n though_o indeed_o he_o do_v great_o pity_v i_o yet_o i_o can_v have_v no_o benefit_n of_o he_o 141._o but_o o_o how_o this_o will_v add_v to_o my_o affliction_n to_o conceit_n that_o i_o shall_v be_v guilty_a of_o such_o a_o sin_n for_o which_o he_o do_v not_o die_v these_o thought_n will_v so_o confound_v i_o and_o imprison_v i_o and_o tie_v i_o up_o from_o faith_n that_o i_o know_v not_o what_o to_o do_v but_o oh_o thought_n i_o that_o he_o will_v come_v down_o again_o o_o that_o the_o work_n of_o man_n redemption_n be_v yet_o to_o be_v do_v by_o christ_n how_o will_v i_o pray_v he_o and_o entreat_v he_o to_o count_v and_o reckon_v this_o sin_n among_o the_o rest_n for_o which_o he_o die_v but_o that_o will_v strike_v i_o down_o christ_n be_v raise_v from_o the_o dead_a die_v no_o more_o death_n have_v no_o more_o dominion_n over_o he_o rom._n 6.9_o 142._o thus_o be_v i_o always_o sink_v whatever_o i_o do_v think_v or_o do_v so_o one_o day_n i_o walk_v to_o a_o neighbour_a town_n and_o sit_v down_o upon_o a_o settle_v in_o the_o street_n and_o fall_v into_o a_o