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trouble_a soul_n may_v suffer_v in_o a_o last_a storm_n here_o
wonder_v at_o my_o infirmity_n and_o disable_n in_o my_o fortune_n in_o conclusion_n impute_v it_o to_o my_o have_v be_v put_v out_o of_o my_o way_n upon_o what_o ground_n i_o know_v not_o but_o i_o be_o sure_a he_o be_v not_o mistake_v for_o first_o my_o early_a marriage_n in_o a_o short_a fortune_n abate_v the_o edge_n and_o alacrity_n of_o my_o spirit_n next_o the_o course_n and_o conversation_n of_o the_o court_n by_o accident_n make_v unfit_a and_o unfavourable_a to_o i_o have_v enter_v upon_o it_o be_v no_o small_a dejection_n myself_o also_o by_o the_o examination_n and_o test_n of_o discourse_n contradict_v â—â—chewed_v and_o restrain_v my_o natural_a and_o youthful_a inclination_n which_o other_o young_a man_n use_v with_o a_o full_a sail_n to_o give_v way_n to_o and_o uncontrol_o please_v themselves_o amate_v and_o contristate_v my_o mind_n but_o above_o all_o the_o good_a spirit_n of_o god_n who_o way_n and_o religion_n be_v opposite_a to_o flesh_n and_o blood_n and_o consequent_o to_o i_o and_o i_o in_o nature_n bring_v such_o a_o conflict_n upon_o i_o as_o prove_v at_o first_o to_o corrupt_v nature_n ever_o harsh_a and_o perplex_a with_o many_o reluctation_n win_n and_o lose_n of_o ground_n but_o by_o degree_n and_o succession_n of_o grace_n sweet_o recompense_v all_o our_o conflict_n all_o our_o suffering_n good_a god_n how_o sweet_a and_o admirable_a be_v thy_o mercy_n which_o never_o fail_v to_o relieve_v and_o deliver_v they_o who_o persevere_v to_o call_v and_o rely_v upon_o thou_o oh_o the_o tumultuous_a condition_n of_o a_o melancholy_a taint_a mind_n oh_o the_o herculean_a labour_n to_o oppose_v and_o repress_v it_o how_o thought_n impetuous_o like_o hydra_n head_n grow_v upon_o we_o as_o fast_o as_o we_o allay_v and_o cut_v they_o off_o junâ—_n shall_v have_v set_v hercules_n to_o that_o task_n to_o have_v plague_v he_o more_o than_o all_o his_o monster_n all_o his_o labour_n it_o be_v true_o say_v of_o it_o that_o it_o be_v hospitium_fw-la calamitatis_fw-la &_o quamcunque_fw-la rem_fw-la malam_fw-la quares_n illic_fw-la inuenies_fw-la it_o insinuate_v itself_o at_o first_o as_o a_o flatter_a friend_n but_o in_o the_o treacherous_a sweetness_n of_o it_o we_o drown_v and_o lose_v ourselves_o like_o unlucky_a fly_n etc._n etc._n proh_fw-la jupiter_n quantum_fw-la mortalia_fw-la pectora_fw-la caecae_fw-la noctis_fw-la habent_fw-la how_o many_o way_n there_o be_v for_o we_o to_o lose_v ourselves_o in_o this_o world_n labyrinth_n and_o how_o many_o miscarry_v before_o they_o understand_v where_o they_o be_v why_o they_o come_v &_o what_o they_o have_v to_o do_v some_o lose_v themselves_o in_o their_o pleasure_n other_o in_o their_o trouble_n some_o find_v unfortunate_a and_o so_o deign_v some_o a_o linger_a ruin_n some_o be_v bear_v to_o â—â—â—re_v some_o to_o stormy_a day_n some_o to_o journey_n with_o the_o windâ—_n in_o their_o back_n some_o in_o their_o face_n if_o fate_n be_v but_o a_o dream_n the_o world_n have_v be_v much_o deceive_v the_o constancy_n of_o it_o in_o some_o man_n fortune_n speak_v it_o more_o to_o the_o christian_a all_o be_v the_o providence_n of_o god_n and_o there_o be_v no_o true_a plaster_n for_o the_o cure_n of_o a_o break_a heart_n a_o break_a fortune_n but_o the_o contemplation_n and_o application_n of_o his_o goodness_n and_o mercy_n by_o a_o lively_a faith_n that_o must_v be_v his_o gift_n and_o will_v dispel_v all_o cloud_n storm_n and_o discomfort_n it_o little_o import_v what_o weather_n we_o find_v in_o a_o short_a journey_n so_o we_o attain_v at_o our_o journey_n end_n a_o place_n of_o perdurable_a joy_n and_o comfort_n how_o full_a of_o darkness_n be_v the_o mind_n of_o man_n how_o little_o do_v we_o understand_v and_o how_o little_a be_v we_o able_a to_o make_v use_n without_o god_n grace_n of_o what_o we_o know_v how_o often_o and_o violent_o be_v we_o transport_v as_o it_o be_v against_o our_o will_n against_o our_o knowledge_n how_o obvious_a and_o near_a unto_o we_o be_v thing_n ordinary_o most_o useful_a and_o affect_v which_o yet_o we_o be_v most_o blind_a to_o discern_v at_o our_o need_n such_o be_v our_o frailty_n such_o our_o blindness_n so_o that_o neither_o ear_n eye_n knowledge_n will_n or_o understanding_n be_v far_a available_a than_o it_o shall_v please_v god_n to_o bless_v they_o he_o alone_o it_o be_v that_o give_v the_o will_n and_o the_o deed_n and_o without_o he_o the_o will_n be_v uneffectual_a he_o have_v small_a experience_n of_o the_o world_n or_o have_v little_o observe_v himself_o who_o have_v not_o this_o experience_n it_o have_v please_v god_n to_o have_v bless_v i_o with_o some_o understanding_n some_o industry_n and_o some_o holy_a affection_n towards_o he_o all_o have_v fail_v i_o and_o in_o all_o i_o have_v be_v fail_v to_o myself_o yet_o through_o many_o fall_v and_o frailty_n i_o be_o confident_a at_o last_o by_o his_o great_a mercy_n to_o have_v attain_v such_o grace_n as_o will_v abide_v with_o i_o to_o my_o eternal_a comfort_n god_n grant_v i_o to_o my_o end_n the_o antidote_n of_o faith_n and_o confidence_n of_o his_o mercy_n in_o christ_n etc._n etc._n august_n 8._o 1637._o it_o be_v good_a to_o refer_v ourselves_o to_o god_n who_o best_o know_v what_o be_v good_a for_o we_o in_o the_o discourse_n of_o death_n i_o fall_v in_o my_o first_o manhood_n to_o affect_v that_o caesaâ—_n kind_n which_o be_v least_o long_o and_o languish_a suppose_v ever_o a_o constant_a preparation_n but_o it_o have_v please_v god_n contrariwise_o that_o i_o have_v spend_v a_o great_a part_n of_o my_o time_n face_v and_o struggle_v with_o seem_v imminent_a death_n so_o far_o have_v i_o be_v from_o enjoy_v the_o pleasure_n and_o contentment_n that_o this_o world_n afford_v to_o other_o i_o humble_o thank_v god_n who_o have_v give_v i_o patience_n and_o without_o his_o grace_n and_o respect_n to_o he_o my_o resolution_n can_v never_o have_v undergo_v it_o melancholy_n the_o taint_n and_o canker_n of_o our_o mind_n body_n and_o fortune_n how_o many_o way_n and_o easy_o be_v thou_o contract_v how_o almost_o impossible_a to_o be_v cure_v how_o inevitable_o incident_a to_o many_o yea_o the_o strong_a mind_n especial_o when_o many_o perplexity_n and_o cross_a accident_n do_v at_o once_o assault_v they_o for_o my_o part_n beside_o my_o mischievous_a disease_n breed_v in_o my_o body_n which_o natural_o work_v upon_o the_o mind_n make_v all_o more_o sour_a and_o difficult_a i_o meet_v with_o cross_a ambiguity_n and_o judication_n in_o almost_o all_o that_o concern_v i_o or_o that_o i_o affect_v i_o confess_v that_o which_o now_o more_o torment_v i_o a_o resolution_n and_o course_n may_v have_v be_v take_v to_o have_v prevent_v in_o reason_n the_o unhappiness_n which_o i_o have_v find_v and_o breed_v but_o alas_o i_o be_v nip_v in_o my_o bud_n destitute_a of_o experience_n and_o good_a advice_n meet_v with_o time_n opposite_a and_o such_o a_o disposition_n of_o my_o own_o as_o can_v neither_o abandon_v itself_o to_o pleasure_n nor_o rigid_a enough_o to_o subsist_v profit_v though_o ever_o so_o sensible_a therein_o as_o never_o to_o allow_v myself_o a_o ruinous_a delight_n my_o expense_n have_v never_o the_o ground_n of_o please_v myself_o though_o our_o artificial_a humane_a condition_n be_v full_a of_o ambiguity_n and_o some_o mind_n more_o than_o other_o of_o various_a complexion_n yet_o have_v i_o miss_v my_o disease_n i_o may_v with_o god_n grace_n as_o well_o as_o another_o have_v extricate_v myself_o a_o soul_n hard_o to_o please_v and_o a_o pregnant_a fancy_n be_v of_o the_o most_o troublesome_a guest_n a_o man_n can_v lodge_v i_o have_v at_o length_n learn_v so_o to_o disaffect_v this_o world_n and_o worldly_a pleasure_n that_o by_o god_n grace_n i_o be_o only_o please_v in_o he_o it_o be_v a_o hard_a conquest_n etc._n etc._n august_n 8._o 1637._o man_n certain_o in_o his_o natural_n as_o more_o abound_v in_o fancy_n be_v more_o variable_a than_o other_o creature_n yet_o more_o sophisticated_a by_o pleasure_n art_n and_o policy_n by_o religion_n cross_v his_o nature_n cast_v into_o further_a ambiguity_n and_o perplexity_n difficulty_n and_o disproportion_n in_o his_o condition_n and_o fortune_n with_o respect_n to_o his_o quality_n and_o engagement_n aggravate_v and_o intricate_a he_o often_o more_o but_o when_o a_o root_v melancholy_a once_o seize_v he_o as_o by_o many_o accident_n as_o well_o as_o natural_o it_o often_o do_v then_o to_o disentangle_a from_o the_o cross_a consideration_n incident_a to_o a_o perverse_a fortune_n will_v trouble_v a_o strong_a mind_n nay_o so_o hard_o be_v it_o to_o reconcile_v the_o inconvenience_n to_o find_v and_o take_v the_o best_a in_o the_o course_n of_o the_o world_n that_o the_o strong_a and_o large_a the_o mind_n be_v which_o be_v to_o choose_v the_o hard_a it_o find_v it_o to_o please_v itself_o and_o the_o
the_o irish_a sea_n so_o troublesome_a and_o dangerous_a there_o be_v a_o proportion_n of_o bear_v beyond_o which_o we_o sink_v i_o be_v in_o my_o prime_a youth_n encounter_v with_o many_o unfavourable_a dysaster_n etc._n etc._n the_o great_a change_n of_o the_o court_n and_o long_a greatness_n of_o they_o who_o accident_n etc._n etc._n my_o other_o absence_n in_o travail_n hinder_v my_o fall_n in_o with_o those_o time_n my_o retiredness_n by_o that_o course_n and_o over-exact_a study_n of_o language_n which_o certain_o be_v proper_a only_a to_o child_n to_o who_o it_o come_v insensible_o and_o be_v most_o troublesome_a to_o curious_a spirit_n these_o and_o much_o more_o conspire_v against_o i_o i_o will_v when_o my_o fortune_n be_v whole_a have_v match_v my_o son_n then_o very_o young_a and_o have_v assure_v my_o land_n upon_o he_o for_o a_o reasonable_a portion_n it_o can_v not_o be_v my_o predecessor_n after_o a_o long_a and_o desperate_a sickness_n live_v just_a enough_o to_o marry_v i_o and_o many_o strange_a thing_n than_o these_o have_v befall_v i_o in_o the_o article_n of_o a_o catastrophe_n to_o my_o fortune_n november_n 2._o 1637._o to_o say_v something_o still_o of_o diverse_a ambiguity_n and_o perplexity_n incident_a to_o my_o condition_n and_o fortune_n which_o beside_o the_o accidental_a melancholy_n breed_v in_o my_o body_n can_v hardly_o sail_v to_o work_v a_o alteration_n and_o disease_n upon_o a_o mind_n curious_a of_o avoid_v inconvenience_n and_o choose_v the_o best_a my_o nature_n be_v bend_v to_o ordinary_a pleasure_n yet_o moral_o withdraw_v to_o a_o observation_n of_o decency_n virtue_n moderation_n and_o improvement_n of_o knowledge_n with_o a_o acquisite_a affectation_n of_o philosophical_a moral_a civil_a and_o christian_a perfection_n wherein_o as_o well_o for_o vogue_n fashion_n and_o reputation_n as_o truth_n i_o can_v not_o willing_o consent_v to_o come_v short_a of_o the_o best_a when_o i_o grow_v towards_o manhood_n be_v of_o myself_o dispose_v to_o forbear_v marriage_n until_o i_o shall_v be_v thirty_o year_n old_a and_o then_o not_o to_o marry_v without_o great_a choice_n in_o fit_v myself_o and_o obtain_v a_o fullness_n of_o fortune_n to_o set_v myself_o at_o ease_n in_o my_o quality_n and_o that_o estate_n â—&c_n â—&c_n â—&c_n i_o see_v the_o inconvenience_n but_o wife_n child_n and_o my_o disease_n make_v i_o unfit_a for_o another_o man_n house_n and_o though_o i_o wish_v yet_o i_o can_v not_o resolve_v a_o change_n which_o to_o i_o who_o can_v never_o easy_o admit_v a_o resolution_n with_o inconvenience_n attend_v it_o be_v ever_o abhorrent_n my_o natural_a curiosity_n who_o mind_n be_v never_o quiet_a till_o all_o circumstance_n and_o conveniency_n be_v run_v over_o and_o over_o and_o accommodate_v by_o i_o make_v all_o thing_n especial_o in_o a_o seat_n of_o my_o own_o most_o troublesome_a to_o the_o melancholy_a taint_a spirit_n nothing_o be_v more_o unfit_a than_o idleness_n nothing_o more_o troublesome_a than_o its_o curious_a discourse_v upon_o resolution_n nothing_o more_o unfit_a than_o confinement_n to_o one_o place_n yet_o nothing_o more_o hard_a then_o to_o resolve_v and_o digest_v change_n and_o alteration_n once_o marry_v i_o be_v set_v to_o seek_v how_o to_o live_v where_o to_o live_v my_o birth_n and_o breed_n be_v in_o the_o city_n my_o affection_n and_o chief_a seat_n in_o cambridgeshire_n but_o many_o strong_a consideration_n divert_v i_o from_o it_o the_o court_n where_o i_o be_v young_a enter_v follow_v may_v have_v keep_v i_o from_o that_o depth_n of_o melancholy_n whereunto_o travail_n study_n and_o retiredness_n in_o care_n and_o fancy_n of_o what_o belong_v to_o a_o house_n drown_v i_o but_o that_o also_o by_o accident_n be_v unfit_a for_o i_o yet_o at_o length_n for_o a_o strong_a diversion_n and_o under_o so_o brave_a a_o patronage_n as_o that_o of_o prince_n henry_n i_o readventure_v upon_o it_o but_o his_o immature_n death_n and_o much_o sickness_n of_o my_o own_o follow_v upon_o it_o with_o other_o disproportion_n final_o alien_v i_o from_o that_o course_n thus_o and_o much_o more_o have_v my_o life_n be_v a_o conflict_n with_o disease_n and_o fortune_n i_o have_v former_o touch_v many_o more_o particular_n yet_o not_o all_o nor_o the_o worst_a it_o be_v one_o of_o the_o great_a in_o satisfaction_n of_o writing_n to_o a_o ingenuous_a spirit_n in_o most_o important_a matter_n to_o have_v least_o freedom_n there_o be_v many_o noli_fw-la i_o tangere's_fw-fr the_o contrast_n of_o god_n grace_n and_o religion_n against_o the_o impetuosity_n of_o natural_a affection_n have_v be_v many_o year_n my_o great_a combat_n i_o have_v fight_v resolute_o but_o receive_v many_o foil_n yet_o by_o the_o infinite_a goodness_n of_o my_o saviour_n i_o have_v receive_v such_o most_o unexpected_a succour_n that_o to_o my_o unvaluable_a comfort_n i_o triumph_v etc._n etc._n i_o have_v dedicate_v myself_o next_o to_o god_n whole_o to_o my_o son_n and_o have_v many_o year_n endeavour_v his_o good_a beyond_o my_o own_o i_o have_v now_o make_v myself_o his_o pensioner_n and_o i_o wish_v no_o worldly_a happiness_n more_o than_o his_o prosperity_n thus_o with_o a_o run_a pen_n i_o ease_v my_o mind_n which_o though_o with_o no_o serious_a exactness_n yet_o with_o little_a prejudice_n to_o my_o health_n for_o otherwise_o the_o strength_n of_o my_o disease_n will_v not_o suffer_v i_o to_o bear_v the_o strength_n and_o curiosity_n of_o my_o own_o discourse_n he_o who_o be_v subject_a to_o melancholy_n let_v he_o shun_v as_o a_o rock_n at_o sea_n over-studying_a or_o tire_v of_o his_o thought_n and_o when_o he_o find_v conclusion_n come_v not_o off_o clear_o and_o that_o a_o restinesse_n of_o discourse_n grow_v upon_o he_o let_v he_o give_v over_o for_o the_o present_a not_o admit_v the_o least_o tumultuation_n till_o such_o a_o good_a and_o fit_a time_n after_o as_o he_o may_v return_v new_a and_o fresh_a to_o work_v by_o this_o mean_n shall_v he_o avoid_v much_o hurt_n of_o his_o spirit_n and_o attain_v better_o to_o his_o end_n in_o read_v also_o little_a and_o little_a at_o once_o shall_v dispatch_v more_o and_o that_o without_o inconvenience_n of_o health_n then_o much_o together_o to_o the_o oppression_n of_o the_o soul_n ne_fw-la quid_fw-la nimis_fw-la in_o all_o thing_n be_v a_o excellent_a instruction_n how_o many_o a_o man_n have_v tire_v his_o horse_n by_o ride_v a_o little_a too_o fast_o who_o may_v otherwise_o have_v come_v well_o to_o his_o journey_n end_n the_o like_a be_v see_v in_o expense_n a_o very_a little_a contract_n will_v often_o have_v give_v ease_n and_o thirst_n where_o a_o very_a small_a overspending_a have_v breed_v continual_a want_n and_o ruin_n by_o my_o miserable_a experience_n i_o can_v give_v many_o rule_n upon_o this_o world_n course_n and_o melancholy_a moderation_n be_v good_a but_o god_n grace_n be_v above_o all_o and_o without_o it_o nothing_o can_v prosper_v how_o lusty_o do_v the_o root_n feed_v a_o tree_n who_o branch_n be_v few_o and_o small_a in_o respect_n to_o the_o all-seeing_a god_n be_v glory_n for_o with_o we_o but_o through_o he_o dwell_v nothing_o but_o darkness_n error_n frailty_n and_o ignorance_n november_n 4._o 1637._o my_o gracious_a god_n the_o support_n and_o guide_v of_o we_o and_o all_o our_o action_n since_o thou_o have_v vouch_v save_v to_o grant_v i_o a_o firm_a and_o happy_a faith_n in_o christ_n and_o love_n of_o thou_o with_o a_o contempt_n of_o all_o earthly_a and_o carnal_a joy_n confirm_v unto_o i_o i_o most_o humble_o beseech_v thou_o thy_o heavenly_a grace_n and_o the_o comfort_n of_o thy_o good_a spirit_n for_o i_o abhor_v myself_o whensoever_o that_o joy_n fail_v i_o or_o any_o worldly_a affection_n assault_v i_o none_o more_o than_o i_o know_v their_o vanity_n their_o unsoundnesse_n their_o emptiness_n of_o all_o true_a and_o perfect_a satisfaction_n such_o as_o leave_v i_o ever_o to_o seek_v ever_o unquiet_a till_o such_o time_n as_o i_o whole_o resign_v myself_o unto_o thou_o the_o world_n be_v a_o wilderness_n of_o ravenous_a beast_n there_o be_v no_o path_n no_o safety_n no_o contentment_n or_o protection_n but_o through_o thy_o favour_n sweet_a lord_n impart_v it_o unto_o i_o and_o i_o shall_v find_v that_o quiet_a and_o joy_n of_o heart_n which_o i_o have_v ever_o want_v help_v i_o for_o i_o shall_v hate_v myself_o if_o through_o the_o infirmity_n of_o my_o flesh_n and_o blood_n i_o reap_v not_o more_o joy_n and_o complacence_n in_o my_o surrender_n to_o thou_o and_o in_o thy_o grace_n than_o ever_o i_o do_v or_o can_v find_v in_o the_o most_o full_a and_o flatter_a pleasure_n which_o this_o instable_a world_n afford_v i_o have_v often_o find_v thy_o most_o merciful_a and_o miraculous_a relief_n and_o support_n beyond_o expectation_n beyond_o natural_a conceit_n let_v thy_o mercy_n and_o grace_n continue_v with_o i_o to_o my_o end_n and_o
at_o thy_o good_a pleasure_n set_v a_o period_n to_o that_o life_n which_o i_o only_o hold_v in_o expectation_n of_o a_o happy_a discharge_n and_o dissolution_n by_o thou_o amen_o amen_n november_n 5._o 1637._o a_o physician_n once_o tell_v i_o upon_o repair_n to_o he_o for_o my_o disease_n that_o i_o be_v to_o resort_v to_o god_n call_v upon_o he_o for_o his_o grace_n and_o guide_v myself_o by_o he_o or_o to_o like_a effect_n i_o think_v it_o then_o strange_a and_o improper_a in_o his_o profession_n but_o i_o have_v find_v it_o speak_v like_o my_o good_a angel_n for_o there_o be_v no_o such_o anchor_n nor_o such_o receipt_n to_o a_o trouble_a to_o a_o agitate_a soul_n the_o melancholy_a humour_n once_o predominant_a in_o despite_n of_o judgement_n and_o resolution_n will_v obtrude_v importunate_a thought_n and_o fancy_n take_v occasion_n from_o almost_o every_o object_n to_o make_v a_o troublesome_a and_o discourse_a impression_n make_v thing_n otherwise_o of_o easy_a resolution_n anxious_a and_o vex_v represent_v difficulty_n as_o fast_o as_o design_n whereunto_o free_a spirit_n be_v not_o in_o the_o least_o sort_n obnoxious_a they_o be_v in_o a_o clear_a light_n and_o alacrity_n delight_v in_o themselves_o entertain_v and_o divert_v with_o ordinary_a conversation_n business_n and_o pastime_n while_o the_o other_o droop_v and_o howsoever_o often_o natural_o quick_a will_v play_v upon_o the_o wing_n the_o melancholy_a clog_n check_n and_o pull_v they_o to_o the_o ground_n god_n alone_o be_v the_o hercules_n that_o can_v purge_v that_o augean_a stable_n the_o aesculapius_n who_o can_v give_v relief_n ordinary_a physic_n be_v but_o a_o palliation_n nay_o often_o a_o aggravation_n of_o the_o disease_n the_o powder_n call_v kellowayes_n powder_n with_o god_n blessing_n be_v to_o be_v prize_v for_o it_o go_v to_o the_o root_n it_o work_v at_o length_n and_o so_o as_o the_o patient_n may_v sleep_v play_v go_v on_o in_o a_o ordinary_a diet_n and_o course_n a_o common_a and_o long_a course_n which_o urge_v keep_v in_o weaken_v and_o make_v tender_a be_v mischievous_a and_o incompatible_a if_o such_o powder_n breed_v inconvenience_n epsam_fw-la religion_n water_n though_o but_o a_o draught_n in_o a_o day_n at_o morning_n wonderful_o allay_v and_o rectify_v as_o also_o the_o use_n of_o new_a and_o good_a cider_n these_o with_o god_n grace_n constant_a exercise_n and_o a_o moderation_n of_o the_o mind_n be_v incomparable_a probatum_fw-la god_n have_v give_v i_o so_o strong_a a_o body_n and_o mind_n to_o bear_v the_o injury_n i_o have_v receive_v from_o myself_o accident_n and_o course_n of_o physic_n that_o i_o admire_v may_v it_o please_v he_o to_o make_v my_o life_n and_o death_n to_o his_o glory_n november_n 6._o 1637._o good_a god_n of_o thy_o great_a goodness_n continue_v thy_o mercy_n upon_o i_o and_o as_o i_o have_v hitherto_o prove_v the_o truth_n of_o all_o worldly_a thing_n to_o be_v nothing_o but_o vanity_n and_o vexation_n of_o spirit_n so_o be_v thou_o to_o i_o joy_n and_o comfort_n it_o be_v true_a that_o my_o nature_n education_n course_n of_o life_n and_o disease_n require_v society_n and_o diversion_n the_o consideration_n of_o my_o past_a and_o present_a fortune_n be_v full_a of_o sadness_n but_o thou_o can_v raise_v light_a out_o of_o darkness_n and_o joy_n from_o sorrow_n thy_o good_a spirit_n be_v the_o spirit_n of_o comfort_n and_o without_o thou_o there_o be_v true_o none_o thou_o have_v bless_v i_o so_o far_o as_o to_o have_v allay_v satisfy_v and_o expel_v all_o my_o worldly_a fancy_n i_o have_v fit_v my_o house_n and_o fortune_n to_o my_o son_n in_o as_o much_o as_o i_o affect_v and_o be_v capable_a bless_v it_o unto_o he_o and_o by_o thy_o grace_n exempt_v he_o from_o these_o unquietness_n which_o i_o have_v find_v there_o be_v no_o perfect_a no_o solid_a happiness_n in_o this_o world_n teach_v he_o to_o bear_v such_o inconvenience_n as_o may_v be_v better_o bear_v than_o seek_v with_o a_o unquiet_a unsettle_n to_o be_v avoid_v it_o have_v be_v to_o i_o a_o great_a disease_n to_o over-humour_n myself_o therein_o there_o will_v in_o all_o condition_n be_v something_o amiss_o a_o mind_n curious_a and_o impatient_a be_v a_o great_a mischief_n thus_o appear_v that_o which_o have_v be_v observe_v that_o man_n seldom_o or_o never_o betake_v themselves_o to_o good_a and_o right_a course_n till_o such_o time_n as_o a_o press_a necessity_n i_o may_v rather_o say_v god_n compel_v and_o enforce_v they_o necessity_n i_o have_v ever_o say_v be_v the_o sure_a reformer_n then_o and_o not_o till_o then_o and_o often_o after_o smart_n we_o contract_v ourselves_o and_o contain_v and_o refrain_v our_o extravagancy_n presumption_n dissolution_n and_o luxuriant_a fancy_n november_n 6._o 1637._o a_o search_v spirit_n fall_v among_o the_o crudity_n and_o cavil_v of_o this_o world_n sophistry_n and_o imperfection_n be_v a_o great_a oppressor_n it_o be_v well_o if_o contention_n lay_v only_o as_o some_o affirm_v in_o the_o brink_n and_o not_o in_o the_o depth_n of_o science_n search_n show_v it_o far_o otherwise_o it_o be_v a_o happy_a spirit_n that_o can_v pass_v light_o over_o the_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n and_o even_o in_o matter_n and_o mystery_n of_o faith_n curiosity_n be_v neither_o safe_a nor_o allowable_a i_o be_o something_o of_o the_o nature_n of_o those_o dog_n which_o come_v into_o a_o strange_a place_n rest_v not_o till_o they_o have_v ferit_v every_o corner_n it_o be_v likewise_o a_o natural_a importunity_n with_o i_o in_o any_o thing_n that_o concern_v i_o in_o mind_n body_n or_o fortune_n not_o to_o take_v full_a rest_n till_o such_o time_n as_o to_o my_o capacity_n i_o have_v run_v over_o all_o that_o seem_v to_o belong_v to_o such_o resolution_n willing_o i_o sit_v not_o down_o short_a of_o other_o man_n i_o mean_v in_o honesty_n decency_n and_o knowledge_n much_o less_o short_a of_o myself_o world_n yet_o if_o we_o serious_o and_o curious_o mind_v these_o earthly_a thing_n they_o be_v full_a of_o scruple_n and_o vexation_n if_o we_o slight_v they_o a_o deliberate_v nature_n want_v much_o of_o satisfaction_n and_o contentment_n and_o do_v as_o it_o be_v brutifie_v and_o sin_n against_o itself_o yet_o so_o shall_v it_o as_o well_o minus_n dolere_fw-la as_o gaudere_fw-la it_o be_v that_o which_o i_o have_v long_o since_o find_v and_o affirm_v that_o if_o we_o set_v our_o heart_n on_o these_o worldly_a matter_n they_o prove_v foolishness_n and_o perturbation_n if_o we_o be_v cold_a and_o dull_a in_o they_o all_o thing_n be_v alike_o but_o it_o be_v the_o misery_n of_o a_o hot_a complexion_n that_o it_o require_v entertainment_n hot_a full_a and_o stir_v etc._n etc._n where_o grace_n once_o infuse_v itself_o all_o earthly_a trouble_n be_v evacuate_v that_o alone_o be_v friend_n pleasure_n and_o advantage_n enough_o it_o be_v all-sufficient_a all_o consolation_n perfect_a then_o good_a god_n the_o inestimable_a gift_n of_o faith_n which_o thou_o have_v give_v i_o it_o be_v true_o thy_o gift_n flesh_n and_o blood_n can_v afford_v nor_o relish_v it_o thy_o way_n to_o it_o be_v wonderful_a often_o sharp_a but_o most_o sweet_a in_o the_o conclusion_n i_o kiss_v thy_o rod_n i_o rejoice_v in_o my_o affliction_n and_o feel_v that_o i_o have_v perish_v if_o i_o have_v not_o perish_v thou_o who_o have_v rebuke_v the_o wind_n and_o they_o have_v obey_v thou_o rectify_v my_o spirit_n and_o calm_v all_o suggestion_n all_o storm_n within_o i_o then_o may_v melancholy_a be_v infectious_a but_o not_o mortal_a then_o shall_v i_o live_v and_o die_v to_o thou_o and_o thy_o glory_n which_o be_v all_o my_o ambition_n all_o my_o prayer_n november_n 7._o 1637._o i_o have_v not_o find_v any_o thing_n more_o strange_a nor_o be_v more_o abuse_v in_o any_o thing_n than_o that_o constitution_n of_o soul_n which_o be_v frequent_a and_o more_o or_o less_o incident_a to_o we_o all_o so_o mix_v so_o heterogene_a so_o pregnant_a and_o right_a of_o understanding_n in_o some_o thing_n and_o so_o dull_a and_o wrong_v in_o other_o such_o common_o be_v they_o which_o most_o disturb_v the_o world_n as_o dissonant_n from_o weakness_n as_o true_a strength_n of_o judgement_n exhibit_v according_a to_o the_o say_v such_o production_n as_o a_o fool_n can_v not_o and_o perfection_n will_v not_o so_o appear_v docile_a and_o capable_a of_o reason_n and_o improvement_n and_o yet_o in_o effect_n so_o insensate_a incorrigible_a and_o unalterable_a as_o it_o be_v hard_o to_o conceive_v how_o such_o incongruity_n and_o inconsequence_n shall_v consist_v in_o the_o same_o subject_n or_o in_o truth_n how_o they_o can_v quadrate_n with_o a_o soul_n rational_a and_o instructible_a but_o there_o be_v assign_v to_o we_o all_o a_o natural_a stature_n in_o all_o thing_n which_o no_o art_n food_n or_o industry_n can_v enable_v we_o to_o exceed_v the_o order_n of_o
contemperament_n and_o heat_n strength_n goodness_n and_o sweetness_n of_o nature_n and_o supernatural_a grace_n excite_v and_o maintain_v i_o find_v the_o best_a companion_n and_o physician_n of_o body_n and_o soul_n you_o be_v witness_v how_o necessary_a they_o have_v be_v of_o late_a unto_o i_o in_o the_o sorrow_n and_o trouble_n i_o have_v undergo_v i_o thank_v you_o for_o your_o visit_n and_o spiritual_a comfort_n you_o impart_v to_o my_o relapsed_a son_n he_o still_o need_v it_o he_o have_v not_o want_v natural_a heat_n and_o courage_n temper_n moderation_n and_o a_o well_o concoct_v discourse_n as_o well_o as_o a_o thorough_a digestion_n to_o some_o peccant_a humour_n of_o his_o body_n i_o fear_v he_o do_v time_n and_o conflict_n with_o evil_n have_v not_o confirm_v and_o wrought_v upon_o he_o exchange_n of_o liberty_n health_n and_o pleasure_n for_o disease_n restraint_n and_o pain_n with_o a_o apprehensive_a contemplation_n of_o imminent_a death_n this_o mortal_a year_n work_v a_o melancholic_a dejection_n upon_o his_o mind_n and_o meet_v with_o his_o infirmity_n appear_v at_o this_o time_n his_o great_a danger_n a_o little_a ease_n strength_n and_o alacrity_n of_o spirit_n animate_v his_o natural_a presumption_n to_o his_o harm_n and_o a_o little_a cloud_n overca_v he_o as_o much_o exanimate_v if_o god_n have_v not_o furnish_v i_o with_o as_o strong_a a_o resolution_n to_o flight_n as_o i_o have_v ever_o be_v apt_a to_o apprehend_v the_o worst_a event_n i_o have_v a_o thousand_o time_n miscarry_v there_o be_v no_o slavery_n like_o the_o fear_n of_o death_n no_o bravery_n like_o the_o contempt_n of_o the_o world_n and_o fortune_n i_o have_v lose_v possession_n friend_n brother_n child_n but_o i_o have_v find_v god_n and_o have_v not_o lose_v myself_o i_o have_v sow_v kindness_n and_o reap_v disrespect_n my_o good_a intention_n charity_n resolution_n and_o the_o grace_n of_o god_n be_v my_o reward_n and_o ever-relieving_a cordial_n i_o seek_v not_o myself_o abroad_o nor_o judge_v myself_o or_o other_o by_o the_o success_n other_o weakness_n and_o distemper_n shall_v not_o be_v i_o it_o shall_v rather_o fortify_v and_o recollect_v i_o if_o my_o exuberance_n of_o natural_a heat_n and_o fancy_n breed_v my_o inconvenience_n i_o can_v make_v a_o oil_n of_o the_o same_o scorpion_n to_o help_v i_o not_o to_o have_v too_o much_o be_v not_o to_o have_v enough_o aliquid_fw-la amputandum_fw-la be_v the_o best_a constitution_n luxuriance_n of_o nature_n be_v the_o long_a lastre_n at_o least_o if_o violence_n accident_n and_o overbold_a indiscreet_a propense_a adventure_n intercept_v it_o not_o heat_n be_v the_o vehiculum_n of_o virtue_n hot_a nature_a plant_n have_v the_o strong_a faculty_n and_o bravely_a resist_v the_o vigour_n and_o extremity_n of_o weather_n and_o winter_n thus_o i_o play_v the_o pedlar_n with_o you_o to_o you_o i_o open_v my_o pack_n of_o small_a ware_n to_o the_o world_n i_o dare_v but_o will_v not_o they_o will_v but_o pry_v and_o smile_v and_o scorn_n not_o buy_v to_o use_v to_o wear_v and_o make_v their_o own_o you_o find_v here_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o trash_n but_o no_o trumpery_n many_o babble_n and_o toy_n yet_o some_o glove_n to_o wear_v knife_n to_o cut_v linen_n to_o adorn_v cover_n and_o keep_v warm_a looking-glass_n to_o see_v and_o order_v yourself_o pedlar_n be_v not_o ever_o unwelcome_a sometime_o they_o be_v require_v at_o least_o let_v my_o good_a will_v make_v not_o unwelcome_a unto_o you_o this_o my_o good_a morrow_n yet_o to_o go_v a_o little_a further_o and_o end_v where_o i_o begin_v there_o be_v a_o happy_a and_o just_a use_n to_o be_v make_v of_o natural_a heat_n of_o ourselves_o and_o of_o god_n creature_n institute_v as_o oil_n for_o cheerfulness_n of_o countenance_n and_o wine_n to_o rejoice_v the_o heart_n of_o man_n that_o use_n to_o find_v that_o to_o practice_v without_o decline_v either_o to_o excess_n or_o fantastical_a superstition_n and_o rigidity_n of_o humane_a sophistry_n prevarication_n and_o error_n be_v that_o we_o ought_v to_o endeavour_v and_o pray_v for_o in_o the_o discreet_a exercise_n of_o a_o good_a conscience_n which_o god_n grant_v we_o amen_o november_n 17._o 1638._o thus_o you_o see_v animal_n vigilans_fw-la semper_fw-la laborat_fw-la some_o more_o remiss_a some_o more_o intense_a according_a to_o the_o activity_n of_o their_o spirit_n and_o occasion_n but_o my_o voyage_n be_v well_o pass_v over_o and_o i_o will_v not_o spread_v my_o sail_n to_o every_o wind_n i_o will_v be_v a_o stone_n to_o myself_o against_o the_o wing_n of_o my_o thought_n sedation_n shall_v be_v my_o affectation_n i_o will_v spare_v my_o fuel_n and_o rake_v up_o my_o fire_n let_v they_o make_v public_a bonfire_n and_o ring_v their_o bell_n to_o warm_v and_o sport_v the_o world_n who_o find_v matter_n and_o joy_n to_o publish_v i_o be_v inward_a and_o shall_v serve_v myself_o till_o opportunity_n concur_v accept_v in_o good_a part_n with_o your_o wont_a favour_n this_o my_o pastime_n account_n and_o register_n never_o intend_v for_o a_o work_n or_o piece_n of_o worth_n farewell_n soul_n must_v have_v object_n strong_a high-relished_n the_o strong_a fill_v fair_a and_o permanent_a such_o be_v god_n love_n wherewith_o not_o nourish_v earthly_a and_o base_a must_v be_v their_o nutriment_n no_o other_o love_n can_v defecate_v a_o soul_n from_o wallow_v in_o delight_n base_a empty_a foul_a thou_o lord_n who_o first_o do_v nip_v i_o in_o the_o bud_n from_o time_n to_o time_n do_v humble_v i_o lest_o i_o shall_v sin_v by_o height_n of_o blood_n and_o love_v the_o world_n more_o than_o the_o love_n of_o thou_o i_o gratulate_v thy_o favour_n confident_a that_o so_o thou_o do_v my_o soul_n preserve_v to_o be_v a_o well-tuned_a instrument_n to_o sound_v thy_o praise_n and_o thy_o decree_n to_o serve_v nor_n will_v i_o envy_v this_o man_n wantonness_n his_o honour_n or_o the_o other_o wealth_n esteem_v nothing_o happiness_n but_o to_o possess_v a_o soul_n in_o heavenly_a health_n all_o other_o joy_n infatuate_a the_o mind_n feed_v it_o with_o a_o false_a content_n oh_o let_v i_o still_o thy_o favour_n find_v to_o keep_v i_o thou_o i_o grudge_v no_o chastisement_n moderate_a health_n and_o fortune_n be_v the_o best_a a_o little_a fire_n close_o set_v unto_o and_o heat_n sufficient_a to_o digest_v do_v the_o same_o thing_n that_o more_o abound_a do_v the_o more_o we_o have_v the_o more_o we_o still_o presume_v disorder_v mind_n good_a state_n abuse_v the_o high_a spirit_n most_o consume_v may_v i_o have_v nothing_o more_o than_o grace_n to_o use_v great_a farm_n be_v seldom_o due_o husband_v rank_a ground_n abound_v in_o noisome_a weed_n wolf_n fox_n goat_n in_o waste_n be_v breed_v he_o feed_v more_o foe_n than_o friend_n who_o many_o feed_v though_o friend_n be_v absent_a conversation_n lose_v my_o bating_n soul_n oft_o labour_v in_o itself_o by_o wind_n and_o fortune_n on_o the_o black_a sea_n toss_v thou_o present_v lord_n i_o fear_v nor_o wave_n nor_o shelf_n thou_o father_n brother_n art_n and_o friend_n to_o i_o be_v the_o world_n who_o it_o list_v so_o thou_o be_v i_o they_o never_o miscarry_v who_o rely_v on_o thou_o grace_n storm_n dispel_v more_o strong_a than_o they_o combine_v all_o thrive_v where_o thou_o the_o prune_a gardner_n be_v to_o thy_o plant_n blast_n frugal_a blessing_n prove_v though_o summer_n height_n and_o flourish_a impart_v winter_n give_v strength_n and_o timber_n to_o the_o grove_n to_o thou_o all_o suffering_n end_v in_o joy_n and_o rest_n and_o the_o absence_n of_o a_o wicked_a world_n be_v best_a ease_n handsomeness_n nor_o profit_n it_o be_v to_o tread_v your_o shoe_n awry_o like_v may_v of_o vice_n be_v say_v it_o be_v ever_o best_o to_o live_v and_o walk_v upright_o thing_n crooked_a grow_v hardly_o return_v to_o right_v may_v i_o enjoy_v a_o fair_a and_o quiet_a mind_n soul_n work_v like_o trouble_a sea_n long_o after_o wind_n godly_a content_n and_o quiet_a of_o the_o mind_n constitute_v happiness_n resemble_v heaven_n where_o soul_n nor_o strife_n nor_o thirst_n of_o action_n find_v reluctancy_n be_v conquer_v all_o go_v even_o virtue_n itself_o untroubled_a must_v proceed_v however_o its_o act_n miscarry_v or_o succeed_v devotion_n et_fw-la quoniam_fw-la deus_fw-la ora_fw-la movet_fw-la sequar_fw-la ora_fw-la moventem_fw-la introduction_n divine_a herbert_n soul_n 162._o deign_v that_o i_o join_v in_o hymn_n accord_v to_o the_o heart_n by_o thou_o unto_o our_o master_n glory_n and_o admit_v i_o for_o a_o rival_n in_o thy_o height_n of_o love_n for_o though_o thy_o lofty_a flight_n be_v far_o above_o my_o creep_a muse_n in_o spirit_n verse_n and_o wit_n my_o love_n both_o may_v and_o aught_o thy_o love_n exceed_v since_o great_a pardon_n great_a love_n do_v breed_v thus_o live_v sing_v we_o swan-like_o sing_v dye_n his_o panegyric_n our_o own_o elegy_n other_o i_o