thee ready for him That person is in a sad condition that looks for death and cannot find it but he is in a sadder whom death finds before he looks for it The way to sleep well at night is to exercise well in the day the sleep of a labouring man is sweet saith the Preacher Death is but a long sleep and if we would hereafter rest with happiness from our labours we must so labour here that our works may follow us hereafter if we so sleep we shall do well We are not troubled when we lie down to take our natural rest upon the confidence we have in Gods ordinary providence that he will raise us up again why should Christians that do or should know the Scriptures and the power of God be more anxious and doubtful of their eternal then of their natural rest this is nothing but our infidelity for upon a true account there is more uncertainty of our waking out of our beds then there is of our rising out of our graves None can tell when he lies down whether he shall see any to morrow in this World or rise no more till the Heavens be no more but as to our Resurrection we are already so far raised as Christ our head is risen who is our resurrection and our life Lord increase our faith But what is it troubles us is it the thought that we shall live no longer We may as well lament that we were born no sooner it is but a measuring cast between the time when we were not and the time when we shall â—ot be one is as inconsiderable as the other if it be a matter of sorrow to think that we are mortal it may be a just cause of rejoycing to consider that we are so near being immortal it was as some hold the mercy of God after our first Parents had eaten of the forbidden fruit and thereby made themselves and their posterity miserable to prevent them that they should not eat of the tree of life for then both they and we had been everlastingly miserable Mortality is a mercy But possibly it is not death but dying that which the Philosopher calls the pomp of death that is so much apprehended the pangs and convulsions of death have a horrid Aspect certainly in those things we do many times but fright our selves with our own fancies for when we think those agonies insupportable nature is spent and often sensless But admitting the worst as our desire to sleep makes us bear with some tossings and tumblings and disquietings before we can well settle to rest so should our desire to depart and to sleep in Jesus prevail with us to endure those sufferings which are but for a moment but are followed with a quiet happy rest in the bosome of our Saviour to all eternity But it is a dismal thing to flesh and bloud to think that after death we must lie rotting and corrupting in a dark silent grave and that when we are reduced to dust as we were grass when we lived in regard of our frailty so we may come to be grass again after we are dead in a litteral sense and so pass away into several other substances this I confess might justifie some melancholy thoughts if we had no hope But when we are taught of God that after this Life ended our spirit shall return unto God who gave it and that after this World ended our dust shall be raised again and recompacted into a glorious body cloathed with immortality and honour and reunited to our Soul both to be for ever with the Lord we may bid defiance both to death and the grave O death where is thy sting O grave where is thy victory But what needs all this perswasion is it in our choice whether to die or not if we must die as die we must it is a perfect folly to be unwilling to do that which of necessity we must do whether we will or not take courage then O my Soul and act thy last part handsomely it is a degree toward dying well to be willing to die But I am dead what do I talk of dying or the fear of dying my whole life is but a continued death I have more reason to be apprehensive of my living then of my dying for I can never hope to live till I die that which we call death being in truth but the dying day of our death and the birth day of our everlasting life Nay I am not only dead but in a great part buried how much of my self is already laid in the dust death hath taken three of my ribs from me and so many of my limbs as I have lost children by his stroke My dearest relations are gon to bed before me to what purpose serves this fragment this remainder of me here Lord take all to thee let me not lie half in the bed and half out thy bed is not too little nor thy coverlet too narrow but thou hast room enough for me receive me I humbly beseech thee as thine I am thine O save me Lord now lettest thou thy Servant depart in peace In thy name I lay me down to rest FINIS A DAILY DIRECTORY EVery day is a life in little in the account whereof we may reckon our growth from the womb of the morning our growth from thence to noon when we are as the Sun in his strength after which like a shaddow that declineth we hasten to the evening of our age and so to our Sun set when we come to close our eyes in sleep the Image and representative of death Our whole life is but this tale of a day told over and over I would therefore so spend every day as if it were all the dayes I had to live and in pursuance of this resolution I would by the assistance of divine grace indeavour to observe this following daily practise 1. I Would awake with God as early as I could David hath a high expression for this In the morning shall my Prayer prevent thee as if he meant to be up first But to speak in a stile that may be fit such a worme as I am whensoever I awake I would willingly have my mouth prevent mine eyes and open first to shew forth his praise that so God may awake for me and make the habitation of my righteousness prosperous To this end I would be careful to ly down the night before in the peace of God who hath promised that his commandement shall keep me when I sleep and talk with me when I awake otherwise I may justly fear that those corruptions that bid me last good night may be ready to bid me first good morrow 2. I would arise as early as I could that course being most profitable both for Soul body and estate In Summer time I would be up by five in Psal 88. 13. winter by six or soon after as my health would permit and if nothing intervene of necessity to hinder me
moved with the sense of this weakness there is no new thing happened unto me but what is ordinarily incident to my years This and other the like infirmities are in the course of any considerable age but as the accidents of dust or durt or raine in a long journey which every rational man will expect and reckon upon before hand Lord give me a true sense of the frailty of my condition and I shall no more wonder at mine infirmities then I wonder at my life But what do I speak of infirmites I may rather justly bless God for the long continued health which for so many years I have formerly enjoyed then grudge at my present suffering I have been a young man a great while and therefore it is but reason I should be contented to be an old man a little while what shall I receive good at the hands of God and shall I not receive evil But why do I miscall my Gout shall a heathen Philosopher Possidonius be able upon the strength of a natural resolution to protest in the middest of his pain in this infirmity that no extremity should ever make him confess it to be an evil and shall not grace have so much power upon me as to make me acknowledge that it is good for me to be thus chastened shall I fly out into impatience when God corrects me for my profit they that will not lie still when God whips them do but gaine the more stripes and by their impatience make it appear that they were not corrected enough before Nay Lord I bless thee not only for thy staff but for thy rod which although it be one of thy smartest ones and by the continuance whereof I am brought thus low yet I find the end thereof to be dipt in hony tending to mine edification not to my distruction This very infirmity under which I lie hath the reputation to be of a medicinal nature as it contracteth other malignant humours into one channel and spendeth them with it self so let all thy chastisements O Lord operate upon me for the purging of mine iniquity and the taking away of my sin and I shall reckon them in the number of my blessings What though these paines be violent they are the less likely to continue either they will end themselves or end me the difference is not much either way there will be an end and that shortly The life of man is of few dayes and full of trouble And therefore when I think how short my time is I am contented because it is so full of trouble and when I consider how troublesome it is I am comforted with the thought that it is so short But now Lord what waite I for my hope my only hope is in thee Shall I say remove thy stroke away from me let me alone far be that from me deliver me O my God from that penal impunity and vouchsafe rather to continue thy gracious rod upon me so long as thou shalt see it good for so long I am sure it shall be for my good and I shall look upon it as a dear blessed gout to me Shew thy mercy to me as thou didst to thy Children of Israel in punishing mine inventions Chasten me so thou love me scourge on so thou receive me and it shall be my consolation O give me not only strength to bear these paines but thankfulness for them and wisdome to improve by them that I may neither despise thy chastening nor be weary of thy correction So shall thy rod like the rod of Aaron be productive and not only blossome but bring forth fruit unto me even the peaceable fruit of righteousness Make me such when I am well as I would be when I am sick In all conditions let thy grace be sufficient for me perfect thy strength in my weakness and imperfection and then I shall take pleasure in my paines and glory in mine infirmities and be able to say with that great Apostle when I am weak I am strong and when I am sick I am well MEDITATION IX Vpon my recovery out of the Gout IS this a recovery or a resurrection It was but a while ago that I had two feet in the grave and that I was ready to claime my last kindred with wormes and corruption and in what an Eagle condition am I now how renewed or rather resuscitated me thinkes I am as if I had outlived my death mine own surviour the posterity of my self Certainly life doth not consist in living but in well being health is the life of life and without that we have but a name that we live but we are dead There is nothing to be preferred before the health of the body but holiness which is the healâ—h of the Soul O Lord thou art the God of life and death thou killest and thou makest alive thou woundest and thou healest thou even thou art he and there is no God with thee I drew near unto destruction but upon my cry unto thee it pleased thee to send thy Soveraine word to heal me and I was healed O that I could therefore praise thee for thy goodness not only with my lips but with that life which thou hast so often re-given me The living the living he shall praise thee as I do this day and as I desire to do all my remaining dayes But am I so perfectly well I may ask my self how I do without offence and it is not an impertinent inquiry Blessed be God my house of clay is in a comfortable measure repaired and made tenantable again for a while But how is all within how doth the principal one so Job calleth the Soul it is my Soul that is my self my body is but mine old sute new mended the sheath of my Soul as it is stiled by Daniel the health and prosperity of that would signify little to me except according to the tenor of St. Johns wish unto Gains my Soul also prosper a sick Soul in a sound body is the worst constitution that can be It is written in the prophecy of Isaiah touching the restoration of Jerusalem that the inhabitants thereof shall not say I am sick for the people that dwell therein shall be forgiven their iniquity O Lord I am sick till mine iniquity be forgiven Thou hast shewed mercy to my worldly part to my lay part O heal my Spiritual part which needs thy mercy most and will rellish it best Untill that be done I am sick though never so well But admitting with all humble thankfulness my present being in perfect health I have no reason to think it will continue long all things under the Sun are subject to vicissitude and change and whilst that I say so I am changed my self My very health is but a brooding of sickness and every sickness is a pang of death My whole life is no other then a gradual dying I remember the first time I died was when mine infancy expired in my youth the next
according to the true value of the mettal and as brass coine O my Soul learn this wisdome use pleasures as pleasures and whilst thou laiest hold on these follies do as Solomon did retaine the wisdome to know they are but follies Do not set thine eyes upon that which is not or which if in any sence it be is never at such a consistence but that even whilst it is it may be said it was so fluid that like water the more it is embraced and grasped the more it slips away But look up and consider the things here below which are seen are temporary and of short continuance but the things which are above and which are not seen are eternal Those and none but those are the true pleasures which are at Gods right hand for evermore MEDITAT XVII Vpon the sight of a fair horse well mannaged WHat a noble Generous creature is this and how answerable to that character of a brave goodly horse which was delivered by God himself out of the whirlwind His crest seems to be clothed with thunder the glory of his Nostrils is terrible he swalloweth the ground with fierceness and rage and saith among the trumpets ha ha he mocketh at fear he paweth and reioyceth in his strength and is ready to go on to meet the armed men as if he smelt the battel afar off and heard the thunder of the Captains and the shouting God seemeth if I may so speak to take pleasure in describing this peice of his own workmanship setting forth as in the description of the Leviathan his parts and his power and his comely proportion Where God thinks it not fit to conceal the commendation of his works they ought to be had in remembrance and to be glorified by us All thy works praise thee O Lord and thy Saints shall bless thee in all thy works O my Soul praise thou the Lord as in other things so in this particular opperation of his hands which he himself hath praised and ranked with the cheif of his wayes It may be matter of just admiration even to the most knowing persons to consider how the strength and fierceness of this creature is subdued and subjected to the service and mannagement of a weak infirme man who is so far unable to cope with such an enemy upon even tearmes that he cannot withstand the kick of his foot Lord what is man that thou shouldst thus magnify him and put the fear and dread of him upon all thine inferior creatures and deliver them into his hand Certainly they are injurious to nature or rather to the God of nature that think man ill dealt with because he is not so long lasting as most vegetables are nor so strong and active as many sensitive creatures are not considering that the great creator aiming at a higher end in man is in these lower faculties less intent and elaborate as having in that excellent gift of reason wherewith he is indued not only repaired and compensated those defects unto him but exalted him above all other creatures and inabled him thereby to command their parts and qualities wherein they exceed him and to make use of them for his own service But what merit is there in man that should thus mount him and set him on horse-back It is true in his creation God innobled him by impressing the Signature of his own Image upon him and by giving him that dominion over the workes of his hands but man being in honour continued not but by his prevarication fell whereby he became not only like the beasts that perish so that they might say man is become like one of us but inferiour to them and subject to their annoyance to be mischeived and maistered and as it were to be ridden by them All other creatures retaine the honour and dignity of their creation all that host so the word of God calls it all that army of creatures doth punctually observe the discipline and pass upon the duty imposed on them by their maker and act accordingly but man only who was commissionated general of that army could not command himself but being misgoverned by his own corrupt affections did imbase and abbasterdise that noble kind wherewith God had honor'd him O the riches of free grace the reprobate Angels sinned but once and were immediatly and irrecoverably damned the sensitive creatures never sinned and yet are subdued to the bondage of corruption Man whom God had made little inferiour to the elect Angels and superiour to all the works of his hands in this sublunary world he doth nothing and can do nothing of himself as of himself but sin in every imagination of the thoughts of his heart and hath thereby rendered himself justly liable to death and hell and yet as if God had loved him better then himself it pleased him to give himself his only begotten Son Coessential Coequal with himself to be a ransome for his sins and by the all-sufficiency of that redemtion and attonement to re-invest him in his former command here and to intitle him to the Kingdom of Heaven hereafter O the depth How much should man love to whom so much is given and so much forgiven I cannot but have a charity for those poor ignorant people who upon the first sight of horse men took the men and the horses to be but one and the same creature But taking them as they are distinct who would not think but that as it was in the vision of the living creatures and the wheels the Spirit of the one were in the other and that one Soul acted both So doth the beast answer to every the least motion of the rider and obey his mannage What is is this but an emblem of sence guided by reason This horse may pass for the representative of a well governed man The great Moralist made that use of the description of a brave serviceable Horse in Virgil to apply it to the Character of a gallant person professing that if he were to commend Cato he could not express his constant regular noble carriage in better tearmes How beautiful is vertue and a well commanded courage in a man when the bare shaddow of that gallantry tho so far short is so well becoming even in a beast But we have a caveat given us Not to be as the horse which is exemplified in our turning to our own precipitate courses as the horse rusheth heedlesly into the battel and in our pampering and fomenting our corrupt affections when like fed horses we neigh after our lusts What a beast is man when he suffers his sense to transport him beyond his reason Surely so much worse then the horse and mule which have no understanding as he hath an understanding which he himself hath imbrutishtand abased below his Species He is brutish as the Prophet saith in his very knowledg The man may ride the horse but so long as the sense rides the reason the beast rides the man In vain doth he