this breach is impatience of restraint and limitation for that which is most forbidden is most desired Hee is the old deuill that still tempts in that likenesse that came to Eue in Paradise and perswaded her to eate the forbidden fruite of the Tree of knowledge of good and euill vpon whom he obtained such a victory and conquest in that first battell that euer was fought that neuer since hath he distrusted the force of that stratageme Euery woman is an abridgement of all woman-kind containes the shape the proportion the lyniaments the members the vse of all the women in the world and likewise so of man why should not desire then being so linked in the most sufficient and wisest allowance that God and man thought meete couch and submit it selfe to these ordinances but that concupiscence and lust inkindle desire and it findeth not delight in that it hath but in that it would haue according as the Poet verifyeth Lust nere takes delight in what is due But still leaues knowne delights to seeke out new It lookes out of the window where fuell is administred where temptation entreth in edgeth it selfe vpon one for respects that it can conceiue but not vtter vpon an other for some thing it likes but knowes not what It makes choyce of a third for modesty baites his lust in that flame to thinke with what lookes it could looke in conclusion that is so fiered with blushes in but proffered concerning circumstances though farre distant and remote from either time or action Vpon a fourth for her quaint conceite and discouers by debating how she could vse it being put to her non plus in the bare point of tryall with the beauty of a fift to conceiue what a large fruition it were to be inflamed on the promontory of the Hill when the demeanes and adiacent Vallies to that fuller surfet restrained not their shades nor fountaines And indeed to conclude there is none so ugly none so deformed but Lust will finde argument to make vse of it may it but haue meanes to enioy it CHAP. VIII Aduice for choice and whether it be best to marry a Widdow or a Maide HEe that marryeth a Widdow hath but a reuersion in taile and if she proue good may thanke death for his aime if euill vpbraide him and not vniustly for his occasion He that takes her thus halfe-worne makes account shee hath that will pay for new dressing shee seemes to promise security in her peace yet inuites many times to a troublesome estate when the conquest atchieued scarce counteruailes the warres the principall of her loue is perished with the vse for what is once firmely set on can neuer be cleanly taken off and he must nere looke to bee enriched that way that hath her The end of her Marriage is lust and ease more then affection or loue and deserue what thou canst the dead shall vpbraide thee by the helpe of her tongue flattered behind his backe the more to vexe thee to thy face The best is though the worse for thee they are nauigable without difficulty more passable then Virginia and lye at an easier Rode as vnsatiate as the sea or rather the graue which many times the sooner presents them thether At the decease of their first husbands they learne commonly the trickes to turne ouer the second or third and they are in league with death and coadiutors with him for they can harden their owne hearts like iron to breake others that are but earth and I like them the worse that they will marry dislike them vtterly they marry so soone for shee that so soone forgets the flower and Bride-groome of her youth her first loue and prime of affection which like a colour layed on in Oyle or dyed in graine should cleaue fast and weare long will hardly thinke of a second in the neglect and decay of her age Many presidents wee haue against these suddaine nay against these second Marriages deriued from former times the ages of more constancy and shame of these latter The daughter of M. Cato bewayling a long time the death of her husband being asked which day should haue her last teare answered the day of her death not the end of a month or yeare for saith shée should I méete with a good husband as I had before I should euer bée in feare to loose him if with a bad one I were better be without him In like manner Portia a yong and honourable Lady hauing lost her husband answered solicited by another A happy and chaste Matrone neuer marries but once Valeria hauing lost her husband importuned by another answered My husband euer liues in my thoughts Arthemesia the wife of Mausoll King of Corinth could not not bée brought to any such action but still answered being mindefull of her husband deceased Vpon thy pillow shall neuer second rest his head Shée dyed a widdow and in memory of her husband erected that Monument or Tombe the cost and fame whereof hath ouerspread the world which Wife and Monument Lucinius thus further commendeth Rex dudum erat c. There was a King of whom it may be read In ancient Stories sepulchred ere dead More wrong you 'le say they did him to depriue Him of his Kingdome thus he being aliue 〈…〉 No he had all his rights more then Kings haue That rul'd a Kingdome and raign'd in his graue A Kingdome nay a little world and more A great world and respected as before Nay euen a Regiment that hath disturb'd The ablest health and pollicy to curb A womans heart and minde and which more strange Free from variety of thought or change So willingly subiected to his bloud Ne're to depose him whilst her Empire stood Of whom all loues and Lawes did firme remaine In force till one stone did enclose them twaine Of whom it may be said now shee is gone Ther 's few such Toombes erected women none Such a Widdow couldst thou marry shée were worthy thy choyce but such a one shee could not bee because shee would not then marry Compare the loyalty of our times with those of more ancient and sée how they equall thy conscience and carkase breaking how with thy piled vp chestes they build monuments of remembrances to thy name and memory after death nay rather obserue but how their ambition thus heated makes them forgetfull of themselues as well as thee Knowing this who would not with these distraughted times to leaue the purchase of a Ladiship to his wife glide like a shadow in his life vpon earth with a shrinking inside and penurious out-side and sléepe with broken thoughts and distracted dreames to gather with paine and forbeare with want that which his liuing enemy may afterwards spend with pleasure and surfet with fulnesse Who can loue those liuing that he knowes will so soone forget him being dead that are but Summer Swallowes for the time of felicity that will hang about ones necke as if they had neuer armes for
drunken men Ambition equality example you fore-mentioned euils you foote-ball players which short-héeled creatures it is you that are arraigned found guilty in this tryall The Countrey Damsell vnder the thacht roofe of her naturall habitation where she scarce euer thought of so much pride as handsomnesse neuer beheld her how otherwise presented then in a bowle of water that dreamed more deuoutlier vnder that innocent couering being asleepe then others pray in their lofty Pallaces being awake who can scarce there remember marriage but shee blushes to thinke what a shame it is to lye with a man yet afterwards bring her to the Citty enter her into that schoole of vanity set but example before her eyes shée shall in time become a new creature and such a strong mutation shall so strangely possesse her that shée shall haue new thoughts new purposes and resolutions and in the end so shoulder out her modesty that shée shall not blush to do that vnlawfully which before shée was bashfull to thinke on lawfully Come to the Citty there you shall haue some good amongst many bad but should haue many more were it not for this sickenesse of this ill Example therefore well were it with the world If what were most done were most good Such a one could bée content for any desire of nouelty or change or for any heate in her bloud more then might bee lawfully allayed to be honest but that shee knowes such a friend and such a Gentlewoman her Gossip haue their variety of Gownes of giftes of fauours and variety of pleasures to interchanging with variety of persons and in this regard shée will bee no longer her owne foe to kéepe her selfe longer without such a friend shée sees the world takes notice of no more then it sees and they are accounted most chaste that can best seeme so In this resolution shée puls vp the Flood-gates where her tyde of vanity is swelled to the brimme which immediately ore-flowes and drownes her therein extinguishing all former sparkes of vertue and respect which before this conquest shée debated with and beares her along with the perishing multitude for these brittle respects that héere shée is insnared with The Court the very Element and Center of these sinnes the ne plus vltra for any example beyond that being the patterne to it selfe and to others the respects that ioyne there are the respects of pleasure not of profite the hyghest ambition of theirs is to be most allured most desired to haue most seruants most friends most fauours and these should presage most falles whose open out sides bosomes were their insides so displayed it would bée found a poore and idle sinne had not there béene harboured whose sattin out-sides and silken insides soft rayment and swéete feeding so stroake the skinne and perswade the bloud that it will not bee perswaded There is a Text in woman that I would faine haue woman to expound or man either to what end is the laying out of the embrodred haire embared breasts virmilioned chéekes alluring lookes fashion gates and Artfull countenances effeminate intangling and insnaring gestures their curles and purles of proclaiming petulancies boulstred and layed out with such example and authority in these our daies as with allowance and beseeming conueniency such apish fashions and follies that the more seuerer out-worne ages of the world deceased and gone should they haue but lifted vp their head and in their times would haue hyssed out of countenance to death But as to please woman hath much starched vp man from his slouenry so to delight man or rather his enemy hath the woman thus increased in prides doth the world waxe barren through decrease of generations and become like the earth lesse fruitfull then heeretofore Doth the bloud loose his heate or the Sunne-beames become more watrish and lesse feruent then formerly they haue béene that men should be thus inflamed and perswaded on to lust or hath this age of sinne vsurped such a séeming purity or thought that the most licensed lust hath the originall from concupisence or some taint of sinne and therefore must bée thus dragged vp to this anchor like a Pitcher by the eares by these bloud neare-touching witcheries and inducements no rather the contrary witnesse the superfluity and increase of these our times of this our Kingdome that hath more people then pasture more bringing forth then breeding for that it is compelled to empty it selfe into farre distant Regions and Kingdomes Is it not rather the contrary when the youth of both sexes are daily cropt in the blossome by this forward motion or rather head-strong deuill and vnripely prest to that action forestalling maturity and fitnesse where a Vestall should bée more pointed at in a Cloyster then a Comet in the Aire Is it not rather the contrary when lust is growne so vnbounded so head-strong that it will not bee hemm'd nor incircled within any Lawes or limites of God or man when it will garbadge without all respect or controule vpon Adultery fornication possest the vnpossest the bond the free where care shall more possesse a man to keepe his faire wife from foule play when hee hath her then iealousy did to loose her when hee first riual'd for her where vertue shall not so disguise it selfe in any habite but vice will trace it out and betray it The ignorant Papists or other sectaries of Heresies most commonly giue no other reason for their seduced errors then example of multitude of parents progenitors or friends that went before them so the example of this euill so common so much made of so cockred so thriuing so bedecked so admired so dandled on the lap of Greatnesse of Authority drawes millions to perdition after it for the greatest part neuer looke further then the example of the greatest number the Coach easily runnes that is drawne wtth many horses soone followes one where thousands leade the way These haue disioyned in chambers by the deuill that were conioyned in the Church by God and yet it must be ingenuously confest it is but a cold comfort to goe to hote hell for company Lust that boyling damned putrefaction of the bloud that raging ruling headstrong sinne of this age that is too apt to breake out though it went cloathed in Sacke-cloth and Hairecloath and fed onely as saith an Authour with the Capuchin dyet of grasse and hearbes and such like and supprest with all the subiection can be imposed to subdue it that yet like lime it would flash and flie out through out all these impositions but on the contrary we are so far from subduing that passion and keeping it vnder by any such meanes that it is attired and set out in the most Artfull bewitching and inticing temptation that may be deuised whole daies and nights and thoughts and studies and costs and cares cast away thereon for the better successe therein though the worse ill thereby for the end thereof is but repentance and sorrow Another maine enemy to open
A Discourse OF MARRIAGE AND WIVING AND OF The greatest Mystery therein CONTAINED How to choose a good Wife from a bad An Argument Of the dearest vse but the deepest cunning that man may erre in which is to cut by a Thrid betweene the greatest Good or euill in the world Pertinent to both Sexes and Conditions as well those already gone before as shortly to enter this honest society Amare sapere vix Dijs conceditur BY ALEX. NICCHOLES Batchelour in the Art he neuer yet put in practise Hee that stands by and doth the game suruey Sees more oftimes then those that at it play LONDON Printed by N.O. for Leonard Becket and are to be sold at his Shop in the Inner-Temple 1615. TO THE VERTVOVS YONG GENTLEMAN AND HIS VVORTHILY REspected friend Mr. Thomas Edgworth vnder Treasurer of Windsor Health and Content in his owne Person and in the happy fruition of his vertuous Wife SIR your felicity the highest top of enioyment in this kind is become the aime that the practicke Art in this schoole of direction leuelleth at you being already instated with enuy and admiration in that blisse which others may thus toyle after in most beseeming circumstances by many degrees to come short of VVhen I enter this course of life as for ought I know I may one day marry be it my highest ambition with all my directions to haue one to be a neere imitator of her so many Religious and Morall vertues for whose happy continuance my best wishes shall be spent that she may long continue yours to make you a father of happy and vndoubted children sonnes for the earth and Saints for heauen multiplying vpon your head all the comforts in that Couenant And for this Treatise which by your direction comes forth to direct others to that modell of happinesse wherein you stand eminent may it haue that successe with all that it hath had approbation with you and as kinde entertainement with the world as those best creatures the subiect thereof in their perfection deserue which are the Seed and Seminary thereof and which by this meanes haue maintained that lasting and yet vn-ended war against those two arch and vnwearied aduersaries of Mankind Time and Death the wasters thereof and consumers of all sublunary things which began their siege against the first man that liued and haue euer since held on without league or imparlance for the space of these 5500 yeares and vpwards and which shall go on and continue the siedge to the end thereof and consummation of all things VVherein if it shall be so happy beyond expectation the paine thereof hath beene well vndertaken and your encouragement fortunately seconded which howsoeuer I leaue it to the aduenture and you to your hearts best wishes By him that intirely is dedicated yours ALEX. NICCHOLES To the Youth and Batchelary of England hote blouds at high Reuels which fore-thought of this action and all other that hereafter intend this aduenture SINCE that the meanest blessing in mans life Is not the Dowry of a vertuous wife No otherwise then is the aduerse crosse To him that beares it the most easy losse Therefore to you whose weary bonds yet keepe Seuering the Armes wherein you long to sleepe That haue before-hand many a tedious howre Wisht that approaching minute in your powre Which when arriu'd most slowly brought to passe Cancels but Parchment to inroule in Brasse What not so short a terme of yeares shall end Vnlesse one shew himselfe the kinder friend Wherein lest your to forward hast should stray Here is beforehand chalked out a way As conscience craueth for so large connexion Should not be entred in without direction Which who so walkes in to the true intent Shall not commit that action to repent The ignorant by this haue sharper eyes More deeper insight to these misteries And were their vnderstanding darke or blinde To passe this Laborinth 't is here refinde Here are the Characters insculpt and read That make a happy or a loathed bed What woman is on whom all these depend Her Vse Creation Excellence and End In making choyce how much to be confin'd To Beauty Riches Parentage or Kinde What are the chiefe disturbers of this state That soonest point a man that sorest fate Here are the Rockes discouered to the eye That he that would not shipwracke may saile by And these the rather being aforehand laid Vnballanst pleasures to each youth and maid That when experience shall their sweetnesse tell In stead of heauen they purchase not a hell And that the ioy their forward youth hath sought Vncrosly match'd mry come more neere their thought To those that forbeare marriage for more liberty of sin But you whose lusts this lymit shall not tye For more inlargement to variety That will not any your owne proper call The better interressed to commerse with all As when your Lord and Lady downe are laid Behind the dore to woe the Chamber-maid Or amongst neighbours where you lead your liues To be the more familliar with ther wiues Or any place where ere you do espye A pretty morsell pleasing to your eye To ceize it more suspectlesse being knowne Then hee that hath at home a wife of 's owne Well take that blessing but withall this curse To walke on weake legges with an empty purse The Contents 1 OF the Institution and Author of Marriage 2 Of the excellency of Marriage with the consequence and vse 3 Worldly choyce what it is or how for the most part men choose theis wiues 4 How to choose a good wife from a bad 5 What yeares are most conuenient for Marriage 6 That conueniency and fitnesse in choyce is more to bee preferred then either Beauty Riches or any other addition of either minde or fortune 7 What is that chiefe moath and canker that especially vndermineth and fretteth the marriage bed 8 Aduice for choyce and whether it be best to marry a Widdow or a Maide 9 Since the end of Marriage is Issue whether it be lawfull for old Couples to marry that are past hope of children 10 The difference betweene Lust and Loue. 11 The best way to continue a woman chaste 12 The patterne of a bad husband and a good wife instanced in two letters 13 An admonition to Hu-bands and Wiues for Vnity and Concord 14 Certaine precepts to be obserued in Wiuing and Marriage as also resolutions to Chastety 15 Discontents in all Ages Sexes States Conditions If by this leuell thou a good wife hit Thanke God that ere this Booke was bought or writ Of Marriage and Wiuing CHAP. I. Of the first Institution and Authour of Marriage IT is not good for man to bee alone saith the alone and absolute Goodnesse of all goodnesse it selfe 〈…〉 mus ergo adiutorem 〈◊〉 Gen. 2.18 Let vs therefore make him a helper meete for him So the creation of the woman was to be a helper to the man not a hinderer a companion for his comfort not a
vexation to his sorrow for Consortium est Solatium Company is comfortable though neuer so small and Adam tooke no little ioy in this his single companion being thereby fréed from that solitude and silence which his lonenesse would else haue bene subiect vnto had there beene no other end nor vse in her more then this her bare presence and society alone But besides all this the earth is large and must be peopled and therefore they are now the Crowne of his Workemanship the last and best and perfectest peece of his handiworke diuided into Genders as the rest of His creatures are Male and Female fit and enabled Procreare sibi similem to bring forth their like to accomplish his will who thus blessed their fruitfulnesse in the Bud Increase multiply and replenish the earth Well might S. Paul say obseruing this Marriage is honorable amongst al men the bed vndefiled since God himselfe was the Author and Institutor thereof euen in Paradice who gaue the woman in the in before in his sleepe Adam lost a Rib but now 〈…〉 Reperit Costam he hath his Rib againe with 〈…〉 encrease branched into many Veines and Ribs and 〈◊〉 and Arteries of wonderfull vse and admirabl◠〈◊〉 So the creation of woman as it was for man 〈…〉 out of man Adam was made of the same of the earth and were it not to make woman proud I would 〈…〉 was of that better substance of that well husbanded workeman-ship and refined matter refined and 〈◊〉 by the touch of his hands in moulding to so excâ—llent a proportion as man of a bone taken out of his side which that side euer wanteth since as Anatomists obserue to make him the more plyable towards her not of a bone of his foote that she should be so low or contemptible or of his head so high or ambitious but of his side a middle part that shee might bee of a middle condition his fellow and companion not his seruant or slaue for Socij sunt qui iunguntur lateribus they are fellowes that walke side by side of a bone neare to his heart to put him in minde of dilection and loue from vnder his arme of protection and defence c. Now the Author of this creation we finde here to be the Author of this Mystery He who made the woman of the man gaue her to the man euen God himselfe who as Cassianus saith further in the very prime and beginning of the world Dedit this Vnam Vni gaue this one woman to one man and no more then one although for the increase and peopling of all the yet vnhabited Regions and Kingdomes of the earth In which no doubt the Diuine Wisedome had a respect to the loue not to the lust of man aiming hereby to aduance the one and suppresse the other for where loue is diuided there it is weakned can neuer be strong and as we see by experience he who loues many formally neuer loues any feruently for vnity is loues number cannot transcend and God would haue an entire affection betweene the husband and the wife which he himselfe in person thus vouchsafed to honor by coniunction that as theâ—e bodies were then not two so their desires should be but one and withall to insinuate by this his proper institution the more respect and reuerence to that holy ordination which had so high a beginning and so holy an end honoured by his Person by his Prophets by his Miracles and which should so generally be exercised throughout all estates and conditions ages and times to the end of the world and decistency of all things which by this meanes ere that eternall dissolution should runne a long and continued race in despight of graue and death CHAP. II. Of the execellency of Marriage with the consequence and vse thereof THE excellency thereof doth the more manifest it selfe in this in that it was an addition of beatitude and blessednesse to that happy and absolute estate that Adam had in his first creation and innocency that it was so pretious flower that it would not thriue but in so pure a soyle that God himselfe was the Authour to institute it and the Priest to celebrate it ere euer sinne and impurity had tainted the earth or blemished the Angelicall beauty of either the Bride or Bridegroome and though the consequence in that place brought sorrow and death yet hath it a relation to as full nay more ample ioy and life in the extent and determination thereof then it could otherwise haue had in that first perseuerance and fruiton from which though now by sinne our best faculties priuiledges and prerogatiues in all kinds are so clowded eclypsed and fallen away that wee discerne not aright the excellencies true vses and ends of so Diuine a Mystery in it selfe notwithstanding we do yet in this twylight perceiue such glimpses and sparkles of originall purity and felicity vnextinguished therein that we are wedded by our owne wils and induced by so naturall a coaction to the embracement thereof for the mutuall society and comfort of life without which it could neither subsist nor continue more then to any other duty or action therein commanded or required whatsoeuer From the excellency of the institution come wee to the excellency of the true vse the danger of the contrary and therefore the deepe regard to be had before hand as in the enterprise it selfe being of such weighty moment and import of which one thus further displaying it writeth Marriage of all the humane actions of a mans life is one of the greatest weight and consequence as thereon depending the future good or euill of a mans whole after-time and dayes that Gordian knot once fastened not to be vnloosed but by death the meanes either to exalt an high to preferment or cast downe headlong to destruction and the present disposer of a mans whole estate and fortune to his greatest ioy or mysery and therefore with his tale pondus as before not be danced into lightly or vnaduisedly with the first that comes to hand as a blind man layes his hold but soberly entered vpon with mature aduise yeares and deliberation consent and counsell of Parents and Friends For it is in this action as in a Stratageme of warre Wherein he that erres can erre but once perisheth vnrecouerably to all after aduice and reliefe And therefore that merry prouerbe is not amisse that thus implyeth That in Wiuing and Thriuing a man should aske counsell of all the world it being a matter of such difficulty doubt and danger to bee resolued in such a continuall storme and tempest to those that lanch not forth in a prosperous gale hauing peruerted their felicity therein by running from the rule of God in their choyce that with Ionas such to be deliuered were better be cast aliue into the Sea to the belly of the Whale and mercy of the mercilesse bottomlesse deepe though with him they neuer came to shoare againe then indure such a perpetuall