have not felt the ground I have gone upon When my pains are greatest I have usually most peace and that upholds me Not long before her death she told one of her relations that she was so ravished with the contemplation of the love of God in Christ that it did even swallow her up so as that she was not able to bear it nor contain it but was forced to remit and let go her present thoughts thereof And the ground of my comfort is the assurance of the love of God which he hath given me And what is the assurance of Gods love worth It is more worth than a thousand worlds and I will not let it go it makes me for joy as it were to fly up and down Thus Gods Love was better to her than Wine yea than Life and the Love of God and the assurance thereof is indeed a Cordial that will revive when none other can nor will none to that This is the very life of our lives the light of our day the â—un of our firmament the spring of our year the joy of our hearts the solace of our souls the strength comfort and support of our spirits the mercy of mercies the blessing of blessings so much better than life that life it self without it is no better than death But this is life even in death and hence the Prophet David prays for this for his Cordial and comfort Psal 119.76 Let I pray thee thy merciful kindness be for my comfort c. And this was the cordial and comfort of this blessed Saint now in Heaven in all her tryals and afflictions while here 3. The word and promises of God These were to her as a banqueting or house of wine as staying flagons and comforting apples as green pastures and still waters c. Cant. 2.4 5. Psal 23.2 As that word Rev. 3.19 As many as I love I rebuke and chasten And Heb. 12.10 But he for our profit that we might be partakers of his holiness And Rom. 8.28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God c. One night she repeated over to her self several promises which she said God brought to her mind and were a very sweet cordial to her Such as Psal 34.22 The Lord redeemeth the soul of his servants and none of them that trust in him shall be desolate Vers 10. The young lyons do lack and suffer hunger but they that seek the Lord shall not want any good thing Isa 40.11 He shall gather the Lambs with his arm and carry them in his bosom c. Vers 29 He giveth power to the faint and to them that have no might he increaseth strength c. I am much comforted with that promise Isa 43.25 and I would even live upon it I even I am he that blotteth out thy transgressions for mine own sake and will not remember thy sins c. There were two places of Scripture which did more especially much run in her mind of late and were very comforting to her one was 1 Cor. 15.55 O death where is thy sting O grave where is thy victory c Vers 57 But thanks be to God who giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ The other Job 19.25 26 27 For I know that my Redeemer liveth and that he shall stand at the latter day upon the earth And though after my skin worms destroy this body yet in my flesh shall I see God Whom I shall see for my self and mine eyes shall behold and not another though my Reins be consumed within me These words were very refreshing to her and were the words discoursed of by Dr. Jacomb at her Funeral though it being propounded to her she acknowledged her great unworthiness that any such thing should be done for her but it might she said do good to the living Those words especially Whom I shall see for my self and mine eyes shall behold and not another she often repeated and was much comsorted by For my self for my self And blessed be God now she sees God for her self even for her self and is in the actual possession of that blessedness of which the contemplation was so sweet to her here She is now seeing God in Heaven in her soul and though after her skin worms destroy her body yet she also shall in due time her body being rais'd see God in her flesh for her self and her eyes shall behold and not another though her reins be consumed within her But her soul is now at present injoying that vision indeed she beholds man no more here with the inhabitants of the world as Hezekiah spake Isa 38 11 neither sees she any more her near and dear relations but she sees a far better sight she sees and injoys God and shall do so for ever and so is now in the participation of the comfort wrapt up in that Scripture and knows experimentally what it is to see God which she had been so long praying and waiting for and to see him for her self for her self and not another as she repeated it Asking her once what it was that comforted her This said she that God hath brought home his promises to my soul and applied them to me he hath said this promise belongs to thee Isa 54.7 8 For a small moment have I forsaken thee but with great mercies will I gather thee In a little wrath I hid my face from thee for a moment but with everlasting kindress will I have mercy on thee saith the Lord thy Redeemer O how full and sweet is this promise c. Thus Gods Word and Promises were very comforting and refreshing to her very sweet yea sweeter than honey and the honey-comb they were her songs in the house of her pilgrimage better to her than thousands of gold and silver and she rejoyced thereat as one that findeth great spoil Psal 119 54 72 162 111. And by those things as Hezekiah said She lived and in all these things was the life of her spirit Isa 38.16 and she might well say as once the Prophet David and as a precious Saint and dear sister of hers long since formerly said Vnless thy Law had been my delights I should then have perished in my affliction Psal 119.2 And the Word of God is the best Cordial in the world Thus that which supported them both was the Word of God and indeed in several respects * Mrs. Elizabeth Moor sometimes of Aldermanbury London who dyed now many years since and at whose funeral Mr. Calamy preached as she desired on those words Psal 119.92 Which Scrmon with several others on the same Text were long since extant And to them we annexed her evidences for Heaven both these dear Sisters and their cases were much a-like both examples of great affliction as also of extraordinary patience in which they possessed their souls both brought to such a sweet humble submissive frame as to be willing to undergo whatever the Lord was pleas'd to
me betimes an hatred of what was evil and a love of what was good and I then dearly loved those that feared the Lord and spake of what was good but I could not delight in vain Company I was fearful to offend God c. It is good to set out and begin with God betimes I chose God when I was young and then my endeavour was to do what he commanded me and I was grieved when I slipped my greatest sorrow was for sin and nothing troubles me more now than that I ran no swifter then in the ways of God If my work was now to do and my evidences to seek what a sad condition was I in And if I had not spent more time for Heaven when I had time and health and strength it would even sink me now Thus this blessed Saint Remembred her Creatour in the days of her Youth Eccles 12.1 he had her golden age the prime of her Years the chief and choice of her days and who indeed should have these but God who is the best and chiefest of all And there was in her whilst a Child found some good thing towards the Lord God of Israel 1 Kings 14.13 and then even while young and tender she began to seek after the God of her godly Parents 2 Chron. 34.3 whose care it was to train her up betimes in the way she should go and she bare the yoke in her youth and so did not bear the reproach of her youth Lam. 3.27 Jer. 3.19 in neglecting then to do God service and to mind her everlasting concerns when was the chief time for it but had the comfort of her youth And this is Gods due the chief and choice of our days The first of the first fruits were to be offered to God Exod. 23.19 repeated 34 26. and youth is the time which of all times God does chiefly require and most delight in his Soul desires the first ripe fruit Micah 7.1 and early fruits are very acceptable c. God prizes the services of young ones and it exceedingly pleases him to see plants grown up even in their youth Psal 144.12 and he especially bespeaks young ones to give him the heart my Son give me thine heart c. Proverbs 23.26 So my Daughter you young ones c. and this is given as one Reason why that title my Son is so often used in the Book of Proverbs because God does there especially speak to young ones c. and we while young experiencing bounty and kindness from God there 's all the reason he should have duty and service from us Can we while we are young live without him And why therefore should we not then live unto him and as he is the guide of our youth so make him the God of our youth and truly our whole time is so short all our days so few but as an hands breadth Psal 39.5 that God may well have all and a poor pittance too for him who intends an eternity of felicity for us O how many have repented they began no sooner but who ever repented for beginning so soon And is it not safest to begin betimes is not youth the seasonning age And does not the vessel retain longest the savour of what it is first seasoned with When Children grow crooked at first while young they are hardly ever set straight again afterwards Few instances of old ones converted c. Besides old age says one is the time to spend grace Youth to get it old age to reap the fruit of Holiness youth to sow the seed of it and are not young ones in their youth dedicated and consecrated to God by virtue of their Baptism and is it not Sacriledg to impropriate the service of that to sin and Satan that is dedicated to God And do not young ones die as well as old and are there not Skulls in Golgotha of all sizes How many are taken away in the very prime of their days and flower of their age And young ones must appear before God at the great day of judgment as well as elder I saw the dead says John both small and great stand before God Rev. 20.12 they were all there c. And how well was it therefore for this precious Soul she began so soon 2. As concerning her sense of sin and sorrow for her soul-distempers THE distempers of my body trouble me and I am ready to complain because of pain but they do not sad me but the distempers of my soul they much sad me yea even sink me I am very much troubled with this body of sin and death and that I can do and receive no more good When I pray for health and the removing of the distempers of my Body then methinks I pray but slenderly in comparison but when I pray for the removing of the distempers of my Soul then I pray most earnestly so that when I have begun I know not how as it were to make an end yea I am so earnest in desiring God to cure the one that I am ready to forget to beg of him the cure of the other Sorrow for other things makes me sleep the more but when it is for sin I cannot sleep but the night is as the day Going once to a Lecture and hearing a Minister speaking of the signs of a Child of God and he answering a Christians complaint as concerning his sins But how says he dost thou wear them as a Gold chain or ornament or as an Iron chain and as Fetters that manacle thee and as that thou would'st fain be rid of c This though very sad and much troubled before so that she was loath to have gone What should such a one as I do going I shall but fill up room and do no good c. Yet this so comforted her that said she I even laughed for joy and though going late I stood all the while yet after that I was not weary I am much troubled at my unbelief impatiency And she being once in a special manner but tempted to a sin she had such an abhorrency thereof that it eaus'd her as she told me to shed a Thousand tears and it was as if a Sword had been run into her c. And how often did she complain not of her sikness but sius c 3. As concerning Satans temptations and his fierce onsets formerly WHen I was very young I had sometimes neglected prayer and I dream'd one night the Devil was pulling me to Hell and I trembled and quak'd and methoughts I was even at the Pits brink but some Scriptures comforted me and afterward to prevent the same I would get Scriptures by heart when I went to bed Satan hath often formerly much troubled me and I have been afraid of that roaring Lyon that when I went to sleep he would devour me but the Lord methoughts told me though he was mine enemy yet he was in Chains and so I have found him me thought I saw him at
I she replied better than she I am a poor worthless worm She said of her Silk-Gown it was but the work of a worm to cloath a worm c. As she lived privately she desired to be buried privately When Servants proved bad she would reflect upon her self and say I have not my self been to God so good a Servant as I should and ought to have been c. When others sin I am willing to reflect on my self and look back into mine own heart and there to see the same sin And speaking of Mercies and Blesings she would often say if my sins do not hinder I was willing to do good to the poor and such as stood in need I often thought I might spare this and that and the other that so I might distribute to such c. Indeed her expressions carriages behaviours and converses were still such as savoured of humility and abundantly evidenced the same and that she was not only humble but clothed with humility as the Apostle Peter exhorts 1 Pet. 5.5 she was humility all over it was her wear her garment and her great ornament too Oh! what low thoughts had she of her self and what vilifying and abasing expressions would she have of her self when she shone brightest in the eyes and aspect of others She was dark and obscure as to her self truly poor in spirit preferring others before her self but the more despicable she was in her own eyes the more precious no doubt she was in Gods eyes there being no grace which more recommends us to God than humility as there is no vice more abominable than pride God had richly adorn'd her with the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit which is in the sight of God of so great price 1 Pet 3.4 9. As concerning her firm trust and affâ—ance in God in her affliction SHE having a very sick night when she was in greatest extremity she said Though he kill me yet will I trust in him and this she often said And the Lord hath helped me and will help me my God hath and will strengthen me Though I walk through the shadow of death I will fear no evil c. There is a dark Entry to go through Death but God shall carry me through it And God will send his Angels to conveigh my soul to Heaven And I know my Redeemer liveth and that I shall live with him there where he now intercedes at Gods right hand for poor creatures for me also c. The Lord has does and will comfort me he is an Almighty Alsufficient and Unchangeable God he once said so to me when I was ready to despair c. He is my rock my fortress my high tower c. I am like a Ship sometimes under the waves but it appears again I would cast all my cares and burdens upon the Lord and I would that all that fear him would do so and if not they will bear the shame and reproach thereof My time seems to tarry and when in extremity I am ready to say how â—ong but the time appointed for deliverance and times of refreshing will come c. Waiting on God truly it is that which I earnestly desire to be always doâ—ng and that with delight Oh! that we could look up to him and wait on him and make him our heaven and happiness who is the heaven and happiness of his people The Lord delighteth in those that fear him in those that hope in his mercy Psal 147.11 10. As concerning her whole reliance on Jesus Christ alone for Life and Salvation I Rest and rely wholly and only on Jesus Christ my dear sweet Saviour Advocate and Mediator I see nothing in my self to trust in but I bless God I have good hope through Jesus Christ I have indeavoured in times of health to build on that Rock that when storms came I might be born up My Redeemer hath perfected my peace in Heaven and is now in Heaven making intercession for me I am a poor worm I have nothing but in Christ I have all justification by his merit sanctification by his spirit and he hath purchased for me eternal Life and Salvation Asking her if she did not find much comfort within she answered I do blessed be God in and through Jesus Christ who gave himself a ransom for me About him I will clasp and will not let go Having once been speaking to me of Gods gracious dealings with her and what God had wrought in her and what comfortable evidences she had for Heaven after all I said to her My Dear dost rest in these Rest No no I rest only on Jesus Christ and if I perish I 'le perish in his arms I 'le lye at his feet at his feet But I speak of these as some poor weak evidences but though weak yet true I dare not belye my own soul I could not speak of these to others but only to thee my Dear my Heart my Self and I speak of them not as boasting but I desire thy approbation and I hope God will not cast me off but gather me to himself and come life come death it shall be well with me Being asked what she would have She answered Jesus Christ and him alone And indeed affliction sanctified makes to see emptiness in every thing but in Jesus Christ in the enjoyment of whom is full satisfaction and who is a Christians all and in all and in whom alone he is compleat Col. 3.11 2.10 11. As concerning her earnest desires of the good of the souls of her Children I Would willingly live to bring up my Children and if I could but see Christ form'd in them then I could say Lord now lettest thou thy poor servant depart in peace I travel in birth again as it were of my Children till Christ be formed in them I exceedingly desire the good of their souls and I am almost impatient of delay as I go up and down I say Lord when shall it once be and how shall I see the destruction of their souls and bodies both When shall I have real cause of joy She formerly weeping over one of her little ones was asked why she wept she answered because I would fain live to bring it up in the fear of the Lord c. One of her Daughters formerly being very sick and weak oh how sollicitous was she of her eternal welfare how earnestly did she breathe out her desires for her that the good Lord would have pity and compassion on her and that he would please to fit her for himself and that if he took her out of this miserable sinful world he would take her to himself in whose presence is fulness of joy c. and oh that when ever he takes her out of my poor bosom he would take her into his own The good Lord help me to discharge my duty to all my relations She thus once declar'd her self to one of her daughters I would have you labour to be very good be
inflict and as long as he pleas'd to afflict both injoying much inward peace and comfort and still fetching cordials out of Gods Word to keep them from fainting Both though their afflictions were heavy defired more the sanctifying of them than their removal and more that they might learn the Lessons God would teach by them than to be rid of them Both were unbottom'd off themselves and their own righteousness and cast their Souls wholly and only on Jesus Christ and his righteousness for life and salvation both as willing to take Jesus Christ as their Prophet to teach them as their King to govern them and subdue them to himself as their Priest to satisfie for them and reconcile them Both proved and tried as silver is tried went as it were through fire and water but now are brought out into a wealthy place Both such as had not their Ark to build when the flood came nor their graces comforts nor evidences to seek when they came to dye but had nothing then to do but to dye having made comfortable provision aforehand against an evil day and improved their time health and strength whilst they had it for the good of their souls Both walked in Heavens way and are now arrived at Heavens happiness both endured the Cross and now receive the Crown and their light afflictions which were but for a moment have but wrought for them a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory 4. Prayer and Meditation and former experiences I Have meditated often on this bed and have had much comfort in several evidences for Heaven and so have sweetly fallen asleep and sweetly awaked again When by reason of weakness I could not pray whilst up when I was in bed I spent a great time of the night in meditation and prayer and was sweetly refreshed And when I cannot speak I lye and think and meditate c. I have had clear evidences for Heaven and Gods loving-kindness hath shone clearly upon me though afterward they have been clouded I remember the days of Gods right hand c. I can truly say I have cryed to the Lord my God and he hath heard me in my distress and delivered me and oh that I could more and more honour him c. The Lord hath been very gracious to me though I have had castings down yet have I had liftings up the Lord hath supported me under great temptations of Satan and much sadness of heart by reason of the Churches sufferings c. 5. Heaven and the future happiness and glory If this earthly house of this tabernacle was dissolved I have a building of God an house not made with hands eternal in the heavens c. 2 Cor. 5 1. What a restless condition am I in When I am in bed then I would be up when up then in bed c. There remains a rest for the people of God Heb. 4.9 And he will carry me through the gates of Death and bring me to his everlasting rest The times of refreshing are coming on a pace c. I have a painful night but shall have a joyful morning I shall be in the embraces of my dear Redeemer there will be none of these tossings to and fro hereafter I shall rest quietly in the bed of the grave c. If the Lord will have me end my days in this condition with pains and weakness Heaven will pay for all there the weary are at rest Being under convulsions these says she are great shogs but God will carry me through them I am not afraid of death but shuck at these pains but who would not go through pains to such a place of rest In my fathers presence are fulness of joy c. Asking her how she did she said I shall be well anon meaning in Heaven And one telling her he hoped she might be better by such a time she replied she hoped so too being in Heaven I am now going and I verily believe I shall go to God I can't speak now I am very weak and low What a condition was I now in if I could not see beyond death and beyond the grave c I would be buried in such a place but no matter where God will raise up my dust again I am going to the heavenly Jerusalem to an innumerable company of Angels c. and into the bosom of my blessed Redeemer and what blessed company are these c One of her Daughters being in the Country and not returning at the time expected Tell her says she I shall meet her in a better place c. Thus the fore-sight and the fore-thoughts of the future glory comforted her under all her afflictions here and one minute now in Heaven makes amends for all her pain and misery here 15. As concerning her carnest desires to be dissolved c. IF the Lord sees good I would fain depart and leave this body of death when will God send his Messenger Is this the night I must depart hence O! what joyful news would that be another night Surely this is the night God will call me home Come Lord Jesus come quickly make kast make hast O my God when wilt thou come O when will that sweet day come I hope it is now nigh what a joyful time will that be to have a total victory over sin I am now going to be married and the Wedding-knot will be tied for everlasting When will my God come What a deal of do is here for my soul to get out of this carcass and how much a do have I to get loose But these shall meet again I earnestly desire earnestly desire to be clothed upon with that house which is from Heaven c. When will my Father send his Waggons to fetch me And telling her she was as a Ship at the Downs waiting for a fair Gale of Wind but when says she will that blessed Gale come And speaking to her of her going to Heaven to her Fathers House she replied she feared not yet Lord send me safe thither And when through weakness we could scarce understand what she said she breath'd home home home and seem'd troubled when any said they hoped she might recover again c. 16. As concerning the ends and reasons of her so earnest desires to be dissolved UPon serious consideration I found that the end why I desired to dye it was not to be freed of my pains or troubles but that I might be freed of sin and no more dishonour God and that I might injoy more of him and be no more discontented under his hand which I am sometimes ready to be I would fain go to Heaven and long to be in Heaven Why Because then I should be freed of Satans temptations and sin no more and that I might have more time to serve God and I am troubled I can have no more here but then I should do nothing but serve God c. And oh what a mercy and happiness would it be to
me if my work was done to be gone c. I am afraid lest I should desire to dye to be freed of my pains but I would desire to dye out of love to God and that I may injoy him and be rid of sin more than sorrow and then our graces shall be perfect knowledg perfect love perfect c. 17. As concerning her being above the fears of death SOmetimes formerly she has not though seemingly near to death been so willing to dye but would say Will not God make me more willing to dye before I dye Surely he will I have been more willing c. And so he did in this her last sickness whereby we might have foreseen her death to have been near Asking her whither she was not afraid of death she replied no I am not I do not look upon death singly but as it brings me to rest I must go through that dark entry before I can get to my Fathers house I shall go to my first husband c. Methoughts I saw death as a Messenger coming for me and I told him I would go with him I thought I should have died such a day and methoughts I was troubled to think of living When she was in pain she used to say Is not the sound of his Masters feet behind Physick won't do c. And this she speak as being little concerned therewith She said of her sickness these are but Messengers to bid me prepare c. I bless God I can smile on that grim Messenger God will send his Angels to conduct me safe through that dark entry to my Fathers House A Child is afraid to go through a dark place by himself but God says Fear not for I am with thee c. I am not afraid of death but my passage to my fathers House is rough But having gotten so far onward in my way I am loath to go back again If that sweet Messenger come I will bid him wellcome and shall rejoyce and if you love me indeed you will rejoyce too I am no more afraid of Death than to take the choicest Cordial that is for my good for so is death and I look through it and beyond it and long to be with my dear Lord and Saviour My Children are loath to look out my burial-clothes but they are my wedding-clothes and I hope my Bridegroom is not far of c. Telling her of a friend that would come to see her she replied she will come to my burial Why said I saist thou so She answered why should I not comfort my self that I am going home I long to be at home we shall meet again How sweet will that sleep be when I shall wake in Heaven Seeing one of her Daughters weep why says she weep you would you not have me go to my Father He is sending his holy Angels for me Are they not all ministring spirits sent forth to minister for them who shall be beirs of salvation Heb. 1.14 I have one night less I bless God to be here where is sin and sorrow Seeing Cordial-water brought for her she said she hoped she should not live to drink up half that water and being to take a Powder she asked if it was to sweeten her passage then she would take it but not to stay it but what God will I can scarce swallow my spittle a comfortable forerunner I hope of death And her pains falling into her joynts she rejoycingly said there was something further to help her forward to her journeys end Death is indeed a sowre Messenger but my Fathers Messenger to fetch me home She speaking of her death and how she would have things ordered at her Funeral she spake thereof with a great deal of joy and rejoycing but perceiving me to be troubled she looked smilingly upon me and said I can with as much joy yea with more joy speak of my burial-clothes than ever the day before I was married I could of my wedding-clothes I shall be cloth'd with the White Robe of Christs righteousness and have a Diadem upon my head c. 18. Some few of her breathings as in reserence to her self SHould I not make my moan to my God The Lord give me more patience that I may not dishonour him now at last my God teach me teach me as well as correct me strengthen me c. I want nothing but a thankful fruitful heart an heart more humble holy and more to honour God I would have more grace more faith patience meekness humility more of Heaven more holiness more likeness to God and I beg praiers that the Lord would fit me for what his will is concerning me and inable me to bear what he is pleas'd to lay upon me I am weak but he is strong my strength fails but his never fails Good Lord help me to be still carrying on my great work c. And oh that I might lose nothing in this hot furnace but dross But why say I hot It is no other than what my Father sees good and all shall work together for my good if my corruptions hinder not I am so afraid they should but I earnestly desire they may not and I hope the Lord will rather answer my desires than let it be according to my fears Lead me to the rock that it higher than I. The good Lord fiâ— us for what his good pleasure is and for the greatest trials that can come Here we have no continuing City the good Lord help us to be seeking one to come a City that hath foundations c. The Lord fit us for the day of our death that it may be a good day to us The good Lord sanctifie all his fatherly corrections to me and grant I may by all be made the more meet to partake of the inheritance of the Saints in light that we may live to honour our good God all our days that so when our Lord comes we may be found of him in peace The Lord help us to get our hearts into an heavenly frame that our meditations may be more of those things that concern our souls and will sland us in stead to all eternity c. 19. Some of her Speeches to and Prayers for her Husband as in reference to himself and Children formerly MY Dear be not melancholly but still wait upon God rest quietly upon him he that hath fed us cloth'd us and provided for us will still I hope do it My Dear be not sad or troubled but cast thy burdens upon the Lord he will sustain thee The good lord help us to exercise faith and patience O that we could live more a life of faith and holiness and more sweetly and freely depend upon our good God who never fails his poor Children in any time of need O let us cast all our care upon God who hath and will care for us and ours God hath been a long while weaning thee from me we must part but we shall after a little while
meet again Resign thy will up to Gods Will be willing to part with me that is the way still to have me c. I am in a streight this was many years since willing to leave a world of sin and a body of sin and willing to be in Heaven where I may sin no more nor sorrow no more but sorrow no more that 's the least where I may serve God without distraction and always be in his presence and among the spirits of just men made perfect O it is sweet being there and yet I am willing to stay knowing the need my dear Husband and Children will have of me c. Indeed I have been able to do little for them but my earnest prayers have been for them and my tender affections towards them especially for their eternal wellfare and happiness and though I have not done so much as I would have done and desired to do yet this is my comsort I did what I could yea more many times than this poor carcass could well indure and this is my comfort I bless God Before ever I first came to thee I sought God to direct me and desired it might not be if it was not for his glory and both our comforts and that which made me willing to enter into that condition it was because God would have it so otherwise I considered what might have discouraged me from it as hindrances in the service of God losses and crosses care to bring up Children and then grief to part with them c. The first time I went to speak with her I found she was at prayer as to that great concern to that God who makes all meetings and relations happy by the enjoyment of himself The Lord will provide for thee and will not leave thee nor forsake thee in nothing be careful with any distracting care faith leaves Christian nothing to do but to pray and give thanks if I leave thee God will not leave thee but visit thee with his loving-kindness if he take away a crazy broken Cistern he will be a fountain of living waters Fear not but God will tread down thy spiritual enemies and therefore cease not to wrestle and strive and watch and pray O that we could always remember we are born Soldiers the good Lord help us to fight the good fight of faith that we may lay hold on eternal life c. God hath blessed thy ministry to me and what thou didst Preach as concerning the loving-kindness of God as being better than life it was very sweet in the Preaching of it and it is so now in my own experience and it was not in vain that God put thee also upon that subject Psal 73.26 My flesh and my heart faileth but God is the strength of my heart and my portion for ever For when is a time to make use of God as our portion but in a time of affliction then to trust in his all sufficiency to submit to his will c I love thee dearly I love thy soul and pray for the good of it as much as my own I can say more than my own God is thy God and will be thy God and the God of thy seed I trust my dear Children and Husband with him he will take care of them and provide for them I am going home going home to my Fathers house I must go c. Where are my dear Children will they not follow after me to Heaven Wait on God God is good to them that wait for him c. he is a God at hand c. he will make thy Children blessings to thee labour to bear up thy spirits the Lord help thee so to do and cast thy self and thy affairs upon the Lord. c. The Lord counsel comfort support and direct thee in all thy ways The Lord do thee and thine good and multiply on you his blessings spiritual and temporal and give thee to submit to his will The Lord help thee in thy work and make it prosperous and successful and prepare us for the doing and suffering of his most holy will whatever it be The Lord prepare thee to part with me and me to resign my self up to him as into the hand of a faithful Creator The Lord make our souls prosperous the outward man is but for a little while Lord keep my dear Husband by thy power c. and my dear Children that they may walk uprightly before thee and do thy pleasure and submit to thy will and whatever they do here Heaven will be enough hereafter The Lord recompence all thy labour of love to me c. The good Lord bless you and keep you and cause his face to shine upon you and give you inward joy and peace the light of his countenance which is better than any thing here c. And Lord keep thy Ministers hold them fast in thy hand and tread their enemies down as mire preserve the Gospel O the Gospel for my poor Childrens sake that though I go that may continue still to mine c. O that we may be kept by the mighty power of God through faith unto salvation The good Lord still follow thee with loving-kindness and tender mercies all thy days c. 20. Some of her Speeches and Prayers very lately and a little before her Death MY Dear I have but a few days now to be with thee and when by reason of thy being abroad I cannot see thee nor injoy thy Company so much as I would I comfort my self with this I shall one day injoy thee again and we shall ever be together I must declare this That thou hast been a dear loving faithful Husband to me and I have received much comfort by thy Preaching Praying and what thou hast spoken to me and God hath a blessing in store for thee for many are blessing God for thee c. And I bless God for thee but can't speak much now the Lord hath made thy ministry abundantly comfortable to me abundantly abundantly and I have come home full of joy and I have told thee one shove more would have put me into Heaven c. But since I came to London and could not have the opportunity to hear thee as formerly God hath made others ministry especially Dr. Jacombs very comfortable to me Why art thou so sad thou shouldest rejoyce count it all joy when ye fall into diverse temptations cast thy care upon God and in nothing be troubled he will provide he will not leave thee c. wouldest have me continue still in this misery and pain We came together to part and therefore let us part comfortably we shall meet again where we shall never part I go a little before thou lovest me and wilt thou not let me go to my first Husband I have another Husband and if he send a Messenger for me I must go though I leave never such dear Relations here Do as much work as thou canst for God but do not over
do that thou maist hold out the longer The loss and hindrance I have been to my family she meant by reason of her long sickness the Lord will make it up to thee and thy Children do but trust in him c. The Lord will direct thee what to do do not trouble thy self beforehand he will make thy way plain before thee She spake to those about her as followeth Make Religion your business walk with God get a Covenant-interest in Christ do not neglect secret prayer I have found much comfort in it prize the Word by which you may be saved hear it as often as possibly you can and hear it and do it Live comfortably and contentedly together It is good to store up Cordials and make provision against times of affliction To give all diligence to make our calling and election sure and we had need in times of health to provide for sickness and death and all little enough It is one thing to talk of death and another thing to be willing to dye c. I would have you all bless God when I am gone that I shall sin no more sorrow no more c. She said to one of her Grandchildren about four years old poor Child the Lord give thee a Covenant-interest in himself If I live I purpose to do my endeavour to teach thee to know God and love God and Jesus Christ but if I dye Sirs do you take care and let him not play on Sabbath-days let all his play-things behind c. To her Daughters Maid she said be instructing these poor Children learn them good things c. the Lord has a blessing in store for my Children and the little ones One of her Daughters being out of the Town and supposing she should see her no more Tell her says she I hope God will carry on the work he has begun and give her grace to fear him c. I would have her labour to get that good work finished and to eye God in all his dealings and to do his will to ask counsel of God for body and soul for temporal and spiritual affairs and let her trust in God Take heed c. God expects we should follow some employment here and not to fall upon business causes to grow melancholly and discontented there are many snares in living out of a calling An idle life is pleasing to the flesh to take no care nor pains but it will be sad afterward c. my dear Husband my dear Children but I can't speak now c. She prayed earnestly for her Husband Children little ones and for Gods Ministers c. I pray all the blessings of Heaven may be upon thee upon soul and body and that he would make up the want of all Relations by himself The Lord bless thee the Lord bless thee out of Sion and recompence all thy love to me a thousand-fold with his tender compassions The Lord prosper thee in the work of thy Ministry that thou maist win many souls to him The Lord make my Children truly gracious and comforts to thee The Lord give them grace and the shinings of his face and that will be better than the life of a Mother The Lord carry my Daughter Shayter who was then near her time through her great work and bless thee my Son and make my Daughter a blessing to thee and the Lord bless the little one and make it an Heir of Heaven one of Christs Lambs I leave my blessing and prayers for the little ones and you all One of her Grandchildren coming to her she said to him Farwell my Lamb my dear Lamb farwell farwell the Lord make thee a comfort to thy Mother And one of her Daughters being near her she prayed the Lord bless thee out of Sion and give thee an everlasting Covenant-interest in himself c. She prayed for Gods Ministers That he would spare their lives incourage them and bless their labours c. More particularly for Dr. Jacomb That God would bless him and his ministry and recompence all the good he had done her she much desired to see him once again who coming to her and praying with her his praiers and presence were very refreshing to her Towards her end she grew somewhat light-headed but still had excellent expressions and spake sensibly of God and the things of God she often cryed O my God O my God pity me O my God help me for thy mercies and compassious sake Remember me O my God how long yet O my God have mercy on me c. The day of my redemption draws nigh and I am now near home my God help me help faith c. The fear of death is taken away blessed be God and the Lord does comfort me and I am comforted within and am glad I am going home c. She spake a great deal more but we could not now well understand what she said Now the doors began to be shut in the streets as Solomon speaks how good is it to open them to purpose whiles we may and the daughters of musick to be brought low and those that look out of the windows to be darkned because she was near to her long home but blessed be God not an everlasting home December 13. she was under great pains and groan'd much and spake little neither could what she spake be understood but she often fixed her eyes stedfastly towards Heaven for some time together Afterward going to prayer by her and begging of God if he saw it good to release her c. she lift up her eyes and one of her hands toward Heaven and the other hand being in one of her Daughters hands she pluck'd it out and lift up that also both eyes and hands with great earnestness and intenseness unto Heaven where her soul was now near entring I was with her that night till about twelve or one of the Clock and not knowing how to bear it to stay with her any longer I then went with a sad heart away from her not expecting to see her here any more alive but blessed be God I enjoyed her so long so truly pious prudent loving tender careful saithful and dearly affectionate Wife but though I departed from her I left her with him whose Angels were now waiting ready to transport her soul into the bosom of her blessed Redeemer But one of her Daughters remained still with her to the last which was not long after I was gone away her Daughter could not get her spirit willing at first to promise to bless God if he would take her to himself But when God had once brought her to be willing she soon after about two a Clock in the morning December 14 1678 expired and went triumphingly to Heaven an entrance being ministred to her abundantly into the everlasting kingdom of her dear Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ And thus she is now entred into peace and is taken away and secured from the evil to come she is passed from
earth to Heaven and is departed out of this world to the father She has left these bottoms of death and this low valley of misery and tears and is now gotten to those regions of joy and triumph to those mountains of myrrhe and hills of frankincense those mountains of spices or sweetnesses which are cloathed with everlasting joys and delights and on whose wealthy brows nothing ever springs but life and glory and where never any clouds or storms do once ever arise interpose or interrupt where like a thirsty Roe or Hart she was still aspiring and panting to be and where now she is got and where we leave her even there where is nothing but rest and light and love and delights and fulness of joys and crowns of life and glory perfect peace and pleasures for evermore incense praises and hallelujahs to him that sits upon the throne and to the Lamb for ever and ever Amen And I heard a voice from heaven saying unto me Write blessed are the dead which dye in the Lord from henceforth yea saith the Spirit that they may rest from their labours and their works do follow them Rev. 14.13 Favour is deceitful and beauty is vain but a woman that feareth the Lord she shall be praised Prov. 31.30 Give her of the fruit of her hands and let her own works praise her in the gates Prov. 31.31 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Pro Rosis deciduis coronam immarescibilem Death puf'd this light and its earths banish'd flame Flew up to Heaven and as a Sun became Soli Deo gloria in eternum Some Breathings upon the Decease of Mrs. Luce Perrot December 14 1678. O What a change hath this bless'd morning made To thee bless'd soul who now hast past deaths shade Now no more sorrows pains nor doleful cries But all tears quite are wiped from thine eyes How much afflicted in this vale of Tears But how refreshed now above the Sphears Thy way unto thy Fathers House was rough But now thou hast got thither 't is enough Thy stormy passage now thou art arriv'd At Heavens bless'd Haven makes but more reviv'd Thy pains and ails with which thou wast so prest Do now but so much more sweeten thy rest And though some months yea years they did extend One moment now in Heaven doth make amends And now that thou hast gotten to thy Lot Of bliss assign'd thee they are all forgot Thy pains thy conflicts combats here were many But now thou know'st not what belongs to any But of thy sorrows all thou hast release And now thy Soul is fill'd with blissful peace In bottoms here of death thou did'st reside But now the Spicy Mountains thee abide Thus every way thy change is for the best For Grace 't is Glory and for Labour Rest Thy sins now past and all thy sorrows gone And nevermore thou shalt experience one Thy faith and patience now are at an end Which though long exercis'd did still exten Faith now is turn'd into fruition Into possession expectation Thy Cabinet's dissolv'd thy Jewel 's gone To Heaven and there made up a glorious one Thy earthly house is fall'n that down doth lye But thy Soul 's mounted far above the Sky To th' highest Heaven where true felicity And Glory do it cloath eternally Thou long since weaned wast from all things here And now th' hast got where thy delights still were Thy earnest pantings longings for to be With Christ now fully satisfied hath he Sabbaths below how greatly did'st thou love And one eternal now thou keep'st above Thou feard'st not Death that Messenger so grim But saidst I can I bless God smile on him Yea though so grim sweet Messenger didst call And saidst if come thou 'dst welcome him withal And being so far onward in thy way How troubled wast to hear of further stay Is this saidst thou the night I must depart Oh! with what joy would such news fill my heart Lord Jesus come come Lord come speedily Make hast make hast How oft was this thy cry And when wilt come my God oh hasten thee And Charets of Aminidab like be Of Death I am no more afraid at all Than for to take the choicest Cordial Which is to do me good and Death doth so For through it and beyond it look I do And of my Burial-cloaths more joyfully Than of my Wedding-cloaths discourse can I. My Burial-cloaths My Wedding-cloaths they are And now my blessed Bridegroom is not far Farwel vain world for so I judg'd of thee And never other found thee for to be And that which others so much doted on As poor and pitiful I look'd upon My joys delights were higher fix'd above On God on Christ on 's Word and on his Love His Ways his Ordinances where to be One day than Thousands better was to me Oh! how dejected have I thither gone But how refreshed have returned home Bless'd Soul to thee Christ was to live the main And Death it self is now become thy gain Here he upheld thee in integrity Now sets before his face eternally Here with his counsels guided thou would'st be And thee to Glory now receiv'd hath he And though thy body left behind is here T is but to sow and when Christ shall appear Glorious shall rise and joyn'd unto again Thy Soul thou ever with him shalt remain And in thy flesh then for thy self shallt see God and thine eyes behold eternally THE EPITAPH THE Body here of her interr'd doth lye Who was a pattern of true piety Submissive humble meek and patient Grace and sweet nature in her eminent A loving faithful careful Wise also A Mother such her Children dear unto FINIS