that_o they_o will_v consider_v their_o latter_a end_n these_o serious_a consideration_n of_o our_o death_n and_o preparation_n for_o it_o be_v one_o of_o the_o chief_a point_n of_o wisdom_n in_o the_o world_n 7._o consider_v if_o thou_o miscarry_v in_o this_o great_a work_n of_o concernment_n viz._n thy_o death_n thou_o be_v undo_v for_o ever_o if_o thou_o may_v live_v again_o and_o mend_v that_o error_n which_o thou_o commit_v in_o thy_o die_a ill_a then_o there_o be_v some_o hope_n but_o it_o be_v appoint_v for_o all_o man_n once_o to_o die_v and_o but_o once_o affection_n 1._o abhor_v sin_n it_o be_v you_o and_o you_o only_o that_o can_v make_v that_o hour_n miserable_a unto_o i_o alas_o o_o my_o soul_n though_o we_o now_o have_v slight_a thought_n of_o such_o and_o such_o sin_n through_o the_o deceitfulness_n of_o satau_n and_o our_o own_o heart_n yet_o at_o that_o hour_n if_o we_o have_v a_o thousand_o world_n we_o will_v give_v they_o all_o for_o that_o which_o we_o have_v so_o little_o regard_v while_o we_o live_v viz._n that_o we_o have_v keep_v a_o strict_a communion_n with_o god_n and_o watch_v over_o our_o own_o heart_n 2._o despise_v the_o world_n o_o you_o vanity_n and_o foolery_n of_o the_o world_n why_o shall_v i_o spend_v my_o time_n and_o strength_n in_o follow_v after_o you_o what_o have_v you_o do_v for_o i_o or_o what_o can_v you_o do_v when_o i_o shall_v stand_v most_o in_o need_n of_o comfort_n you_o will_v not_o only_o prove_v vanity_n but_o vexation_n of_o spirit_n solomon_n have_v try_v you_o and_o he_o have_v from_o his_o own_o experience_n and_o from_o the_o teach_n of_o the_o spirit_n have_v tell_v i_o that_o you_o be_v but_o vanity_n and_o all_o man_n when_o they_o come_v to_o die_v set_v their_o seal_n to_o this_o truth_n shall_v i_o to_o my_o own_o destruction_n yield_v to_o your_o enticement_n why_o shall_v i_o not_o have_v the_o same_o opinion_n of_o you_o now_o as_o i_o certain_o shall_v have_v when_o i_o come_v to_o die_v 3._o humble_a thyself_o before_o god_n and_o cast_v thyself_o into_o his_o arm_n of_o love_n beg_v wisdom_n of_o he_o every_o night_n i_o be_o a_o day_n near_o my_o grave_n then_o in_o the_o morning_n i_o be_o near_a to_o it_o but_o lord_n make_v i_o fit_a for_o my_o grave_n and_o when_o that_o hour_n shall_v come_v let_v it_o not_o come_v as_o a_o thief_n in_o the_o night_n to_o rob_v i_o of_o my_o comfort_n and_o rather_o than_o that_o hour_n shall_v not_o be_v a_o happy_a hour_n let_v my_o whole_a life_n be_v nothing_o but_o affliction_n and_o misery_n alas_o lord_n if_o thou_o deny_v i_o this_o petition_n what_o will_v thou_o give_v i_o thou_o have_v say_v o_o that_o they_o be_v wise_a that_o they_o will_v consider_v their_o latter_a end_n and_o i_o say_v lord_n teach_v i_o so_o to_o number_v my_o day_n that_o i_o may_v apply_v my_o heart_n unto_o wisdom_n resolution_n o_o my_o soul_n since_o thing_n be_v thus_o let_v we_o not_o resist_v know_v truth_n shall_v we_o neglect_v these_o truth_n because_o they_o be_v plain_a if_o they_o be_v abstruse_a than_o we_o doubt_v they_o if_o they_o be_v plain_a shall_v we_o despise_v they_o do_v thou_o not_o know_v how_o soon_o thou_o shall_v die_v then_o what_o have_v we_o to_o do_v that_o must_v be_v do_v before_o we_o die_v do_v it_o with_o all_o thy_o might_n for_o the_o night_n come_v wherein_o no_o man_n work_v my_o child_n be_v not_o yet_o sufficient_o instruct_v in_o the_o way_n of_o god_n i_o will_v set_v apart_o half_a a_o hour_n in_o a_o day_n to_o instruct_v they_o for_o this_o month_n or_o give_v so_o much_o to_o the_o poor_a every_o time_n i_o miss_v there_o be_v such_o a_o neighbour_n or_o acquaintance_n who_o go_v on_o in_o wicked_a way_n and_o my_o word_n have_v so_o much_o power_n with_o he_o that_o i_o be_o confident_a if_o i_o do_v earnest_o beg_v of_o god_n to_o bless_v i_o in_o the_o work_n and_o take_v he_o private_o and_o lay_v before_o he_o his_o danger_n and_o press_v he_o to_o holiness_n he_o may_v be_v wrought_v upon_o i_o have_v omit_v it_o hitherto_o but_o i_o be_o resolve_v sometime_o within_o a_o week_n to_o take_v some_o opportunity_n to_o speak_v serious_o and_o home_o unto_o he_o or_o give_v so_o much_o to_o the_o poor_a and_o so_o every_o week_n give_v so_o much_o to_o the_o poor_a until_o i_o have_v speak_v with_o he_o etc._n etc._n and_o since_o it_o so_o much_o concern_v i_o to_o be_v prepare_v for_o death_n i_o will_v every_o day_n make_v it_o one_o special_a clause_n of_o my_o prayer_n to_o beg_v of_o god_n that_o he_o will_v fit_v i_o for_o that_o hour_n and_o i_o will_v lay_v up_o a_o treasury_n in_o heaven_n by_o give_v to_o the_o poor_a and_o make_v myself_o friend_n of_o this_o unrighteous_a mammon_n that_o when_o i_o fail_v they_o may_v receive_v i_o into_o their_o habitation_n conclusion_n 1._o pray_v beg_v of_o god_n that_o he_o will_v increase_v in_o thou_o strong_a spiritual_a apprehension_n of_o death_n and_o that_o the_o thought_n of_o death_n may_v embitter_v every_o unlawful_a pleasure_n to_o thou_o say_v unto_o god_n lord_n how_o few_o day_n be_v between_o i_o and_o eternity_n whether_o of_o horror_n or_o of_o glory_n i_o be_o not_o yet_o full_o satisfy_v it_o be_v a_o sad_a thing_n that_o a_o thing_n of_o so_o great_a concernment_n i_o shall_v be_v uncertain_a of_o o_o bless_a god_n let_v this_o meditation_n so_o work_v upon_o i_o that_o i_o may_v not_o cease_v to_o pray_v unto_o thou_o and_o to_o examine_v myself_o and_o use_v all_o holy_a mean_n for_o the_o make_n of_o my_o call_v and_o election_n sure_a for_o very_o short_o i_o shall_v be_v pass_v pray_v past_o examine_v for_o when_o thou_o shall_v summon_v i_o out_o of_o this_o life_n than_o i_o must_v come_v to_o judgement_n therefore_o those_o resolution_n that_o i_o have_v make_v of_o walk_v more_o strict_o give_v i_o grace_n to_o perform_v they_o to_o the_o utmost_a 2._o praise_v god_n bless_a be_v thy_o name_n o_o god_n for_o any_o inward_a motion_n of_o thy_o spirit_n that_o thou_o have_v afford_v i_o and_o for_o any_o etc._n etc._n 3._o acknowledge_v thy_o weakness_n etc._n etc._n bless_a god_n if_o my_o heart_n be_v not_o so_o base_a so_o hard_o so_o vile_a that_o it_o always_o hinder_v i_o either_o in_o holy_a duty_n or_o from_o holy_a duty_n it_o be_v not_o possible_a but_o that_o such_o serious_a truth_n such_o powerful_a spiritual_a practical_a truth_n shall_v have_v wrought_v so_o mighty_o upon_o i_o that_o i_o shall_v never_o from_o this_o very_a hour_n be_v deceive_v any_o more_o with_o the_o vanity_n of_o the_o world_n but_o shall_v have_v set_v myself_o and_o make_v it_o my_o business_n to_o prepare_v for_o that_o great_a day_n etc._n etc._n after_o all_o 1._o think_v what_o passage_n most_o affect_v thou_o 2._o write_v down_o thy_o resolution_n etc._n etc._n 3._o go_v unwilling_o from_o the_o duty_n meditat._n v._o of_o the_o day_n of_o judgement_n 1._o be_v convince_v of_o and_o affect_v with_o the_o presence_n of_o god_n 2._o beg_v of_o god_n that_o he_o will_v enable_v thou_o serious_o to_o think_v of_o firm_o to_o believe_v and_o strong_o to_o be_v affect_v with_o the_o truth_n concern_v the_o day_n of_o judgement_n consideration_n 1._o consider_v how_o dreadful_a and_o terrible_a that_o day_n will_v be_v when_o the_o sea_n shall_v roar_v when_o the_o very_a power_n of_o heaven_n shall_v be_v shake_v when_o christ_n shall_v come_v with_o thousand_o of_o his_o angel_n in_o flame_a fire_n when_o a_o angel_n come_v down_o from_o heaven_n to_o roll_v away_o the_o stone_n the_o soldier_n that_o watch_v there_o become_v as_o dead_a man_n nay_o the_o holy_a man_n that_o have_v live_v have_v be_v exceed_o afraid_a at_o thing_n of_o far_o less_o terror_n than_o those_o thing_n be_v which_o will_v be_v at_o the_o day_n of_o judgement_n for_o moses_n himself_o do_v exceed_o fear_v and_o tremble_v when_o he_o hear_v and_o see_v the_o terrible_a sign_n that_o be_v at_o the_o give_v of_o the_o law_n and_o the_o bless_a apostle_n hebr._n 12._o 21._o become_v as_o a_o dead_a man_n when_o he_o see_v christ_n not_o in_o a_o flame_a fire_n as_o he_o shall_v appear_v at_o the_o day_n of_o judgement_n rev._n 1._o 17._o 2._o consider_v that_o at_o the_o day_n of_o judgement_n sin_n will_v appear_v out_o of_o measure_n sinful_a for_o than_o it_o will_v appear_v with_o all_o its_o aggravation_n for_o the_o majesty_n holiness_n and_o mercy_n of_o god_n will_v appear_v in_o their_o perfect_a glory_n man_n shall_v then_o know_v what_o it_o be_v to_o sin_n against_o god_n our_o ignorance_n of_o god_n now_o make_v we_o senseless_a of_o the_o sinfulness_n
that_o i_o must_v say_v if_o god_n will_v forsake_v i_o for_o ever_o meditat._n vi._n since_o our_o dear_a lord_n jesus_n christ_n have_v love_v i_o and_o give_v himself_o for_o i_o oh_o that_o my_o heart_n be_v ravish_v with_o his_o love_n oh_o that_o he_o be_v the_o belove_a of_o my_o soul_n and_o that_o i_o be_v sick_a of_o his_o love_n who_o die_v for_o the_o love_n of_o i_o oh_o that_o i_o can_v not_o be_v stay_v but_o with_o his_o flagon_n this_o my_o jesus_n the_o chief_a of_o ten_o thousand_o have_v tell_v i_o that_o he_o that_o see_v thou_o see_v the_o father_n whereby_o i_o understand_v that_o thou_o be_v just_a as_o he_o be_v as_o pitiful_a as_o gracious_a as_o willing_a to_o forgive_v as_o sweet_a and_o as_o easy_a to_o be_v entreat_v as_o my_o good_a saviour_n and_o in_o all_o the_o thing_n and_o passage_n that_o thy_o word_n have_v make_v know_v to_o we_o of_o he_o i_o read_v not_o of_o one_o of_o all_o that_o come_v to_o he_o not_o one_o poor_a soul_n that_o ever_o beg_v any_o grace_n or_o any_o pardon_n nor_o never_o do_v any_o come_v to_o be_v heal_v of_o any_o bodily_a disease_n in_o vain_a lord_n thou_o be_v as_o he_o be_v lord_n jesus_n thou_o be_v as_o thou_o be_v thy_o be_v in_o heaven_n make_v thou_o not_o less_o like_o thy_o father_n or_o thyself_o bless_v god_n i_o do_v beseech_v thou_o to_o give_v i_o thy_o poor_a hard-hearted_a servant_n a_o soft_a heart_n lord_n jesus_n i_o beseech_v thou_o thou_o see_v my_o heart_n my_o poor_a heart_n desire_v as_o imperfect_o as_o cold_o to_o make_v intercession_n for_o i_o i_o for_o who_o thou_o have_v pay_v a_o dear_a price_n as_o one_o that_o have_v be_v so_o long_o from_o his_o friend_n have_v he_o can_v hardly_o call_v to_o remembrance_n what_o countenance_n he_o have_v so_o i_o poor_a i_o that_o can_v choose_v but_o pity_v the_o sad_a condition_n of_o my_o own_o heart_n which_o though_o it_o do_v not_o incessant_o and_o importunate_o desire_v grace_n as_o it_o shall_v yet_o methinks_v it_o be_v a_o sad_a thing_n to_o see_v it_o in_o such_o a_o careless_a temper_n i_o be_o such_o a_o stranger_n to_o thou_o that_o i_o have_v much_o ado_n to_o make_v one_o thought_n of_o thy_o sweet_a love_n and_o excellency_n that_o may_v affect_v my_o heart_n and_o bring_v the_o sweet_a apprehension_n of_o thou_o to_o remembrance_n thy_o tender_a mercy_n and_o former_a relish_v of_o thy_o goodness_n be_v to_o i_o like_o the_o shadow_n of_o death_n they_o be_v as_o christ_n walk_v upon_o the_o water_n they_o terrify_v i_o lord_n let_v i_o weep_v thou_o to_o i_o again_o oh_o my_o god_n i_o be_o undo_v undo_v undo_v a_o poor_a undo_v creature_n those_o in_o desertion_n be_v in_o a_o thousand_o time_n better_a condition_n than_o i_o be_o they_o want_v the_o comfort_n but_o then_o indeed_o they_o have_v the_o grace_n of_o the_o spirit_n but_o be_v not_o my_o poor_a soul_n that_o want_v both_o in_o a_o sad_a condition_n that_o can_v sit_v down_o and_o fall_v asleep_a when_o i_o shall_v seek_v my_o saviour_n i_o have_v a_o soul_n of_o such_o a_o temper_n as_o make_v i_o wonder_v at_o myself_o as_o in_o the_o spring_n and_o sometime_o there_o will_v come_v a_o cloud_n that_o will_v seem_v to_o overspread_v the_o heaven_n and_o yet_o on_o the_o sudden_a all_o will_v be_v blow_v over_o and_o the_o day_n so_o fair_a that_o there_o will_v not_o be_v a_o cloud_n to_o be_v see_v so_o be_o i_o sometime_o my_o heart_n be_v full_a of_o sorrow_n and_o my_o eye_n full_a of_o tear_n and_o yet_o upon_o the_o sudden_a my_o heart_n lose_v that_o sweet_a sad_a temper_n and_o all_o be_v blow_v over_o and_o not_o a_o cloud_n appear_v and_o these_o cloud_n of_o grief_n be_v not_o disperse_v with_o the_o comfort_n and_o joy_n of_o thy_o spirit_n but_o with_o worldly_a business_n or_o company_n when_o i_o do_v grieve_v for_o my_o sin_n carnal_a grief_n bear_v a_o share_n in_o it_o and_o carnal_a joy_n abolish_v it_o meditat._n vii_o to_o confess_v my_o sin_n without_o any_o sense_n of_o they_o without_o any_o hatred_n of_o they_o to_o pray_v for_o grace_n and_o not_o to_o be_v sensible_a of_o the_o necessity_n or_o excellency_n of_o it_o to_o come_v to_o thy_o ordinance_n without_o reap_v any_o good_a from_o they_o to_o think_v and_o meditate_v of_o thou_o and_o neither_o admire_v nor_o love_v thou_o nor_o long_o and_o delight_v to_o be_v in_o thy_o company_n to_o what_o purpose_n be_v these_o thing_n thou_o desire_v of_o we_o our_o heart_n and_o not_o our_o work_n word_n or_o thought_n without_o that_o ah_o my_o lord_n and_o my_o god_n shall_v all_o be_v in_o vain_a and_o will_v thou_o cast_v i_o off_o for_o ever_o do_v thou_o hate_v my_o soul_n and_o be_o i_o a_o abomination_n unto_o thou_o must_v i_o be_v shut_v out_o for_o ever_o and_o never_o enjoy_v the_o sweetness_n of_o thy_o presence_n thou_o will_v not_o o_o my_o god_n thou_o will_v not_o thou_o can_v not_o o_o my_o god_n thou_o can_v not_o for_o thou_o have_v make_v a_o covenant_n withme_n and_o i_o claim_v that_o covenant_n for_o i_o have_v not_o any_o thing_n in_o world_n beside_o thy_o covenant_n in_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n that_o i_o can_v so_o much_o as_o have_v the_o least_o hope_n that_o will_v do_v i_o any_o good_a if_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n do_v not_o sit_v at_o thy_o right_a hand_n to_o make_v intercession_n for_o i_o my_o sin_n continual_o daily_o hourly_o clamor_v against_o i_o and_o accuse_v of_o i_o must_v needs_o prevail_v against_o i_o alas_o my_o hair_n be_v far_o from_o that_o spiritual_a frame_n that_o thou_o require_v for_o the_o misery_n that_o sin_n bring_v be_v more_o troublesome_a and_o heavy_a to_o i_o then_o the_o silthiness_n that_o be_v in_o fin_n thy_o blessing_n be_v more_o lovely_a in_o my_o eye_n then_o thyself_o every_o duty_n harden_v i_o in_o my_o formality_n lord_n thovart_n the_o father_n of_o mercy_n oh_o have_v mercy_n upon_o i_o for_o my_o case_n be_v not_o the_o common_a case_n of_o thy_o people_n but_o few_o few_o of_o many_o may_v be_v find_v who_o soul_n be_v like_o my_o poor_a soul_n for_o where_o be_v there_o any_o that_o can_v say_v so_o and_o yet_o be_v so_o little_o affect_v as_o i_o be_o meditat._v viii_o my_o hope_n be_v false_a and_o my_o fear_n be_v true_a the_o deadly_a poison_n do_v not_o make_v i_o sick_a nor_o the_o excellent_a cordial_n do_v not_o comfort_v i_o i_o be_o not_o sick_a of_o sin_n nor_o do_v the_o sacrament_n of_o the_o body_n and_o blood_n of_o christ_n fill_v i_o with_o joy_n nay_o rather_o do_v it_o not_o fill_v i_o with_o grief_n and_o fear_n if_o my_o fear_n and_o grief_n be_v not_o carnal_a will_v they_o be_v more_o but_o my_o carnal_a joy_n eat_v out_o my_o spiritual_a grief_n and_o my_o joy_n also_o i_o be_o as_o it_o be_v like_o absalon_n i_o hang_v between_o heaven_n and_o earth_n i_o will_v fain_o have_v heaven_n and_o yet_o will_v not_o part_v with_o earth_n oh_o my_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n be_v thou_o of_o no_o more_o excellency_n in_o my_o eye_n do_v thy_o love_n to_o i_o raise_v up_o no_o more_o love_n in_o i_o then_o to_o stand_v deliberate_v what_o to_o do_v when_o thou_o stand_v with_o stretch_v out_o arm_n to_o receive_v i_o to_o thy_o bosom_n can_v thou_o love_v one_o that_o love_v thou_o so_o little_a as_o i_o do_v thou_o do_v love_v i_o when_o i_o love_v thou_o not_o at_o all_o why_o sit_v thou_o so_o sad_a o_o my_o soul_n go_v cast_v thyself_o into_o the_o arm_n and_o bosom_n of_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n there_o lie_v and_o hear_v the_o beat_n of_o his_o heart_n towards_o thou_o and_o it_o may_v be_v thou_o may_v be_v warm_v with_o the_o heat_n of_o his_o love_n christ_n pour_v out_o the_o boil_a stream_n of_o his_o heartblood_n upon_o thy_o poor_a soul_n for_o his_o hear_v boil_a in_o love_n towards_o thou_o and_o can_v thy_o heart_n still_o be_v freeze_v oh_o infidelity_n thou_o be_v the_o poison_n of_o my_o soul_n thou_o with_o thy_o cold_a blast_n haste_v freeze_v mâ—ne_a heart_n and_o keep_v it_o so_o lord_n give_v i_o faith_n or_o else_o all_o thy_o mercy_n be_v in_o vain_a thy_o love_n be_v and_o have_v be_v too_o great_a for_o i_o to_o believe_v lord_n thou_o that_o love_v i_o so_o much_o as_o to_o give_v i_o christ_n oh_o love_v i_o so_o much_o as_o to_o give_v i_o say_v to_o believe_v it_o there_o remain_v in_o my_o heart_n no_o more_o than_o the_o first_o spark_n of_o thy_o love_n and_o the_o first_o principle_n of_o grace_n that_o thou_o do_v put_v into_o my_o soul_n when_o thou_o do_v regenerate_v i_o all_o the_o flame_n
man_n what_o injury_n soever_o he_o do_v i_o now_o i_o will_v so_o watch_v over_o my_o word_n that_o i_o will_v not_o offend_v with_o my_o tongue_n and_o that_o by_o degree_n i_o may_v attain_v some_o perfection_n herein_o i_o here_o vow_v every_o week_n between_o this_o and_o the_o next_o communion_n to_o keep_v one_o day_n so_o strict_o that_o i_o will_v not_o during_o that_o day_n speak_v so_o much_o as_o one_o idle_a word_n that_o day_n if_o i_o do_v i_o will_v give_v to_o the_o poor_a lord_n how_o excellent_a be_v thy_o service_n so_o pure_a so_o sweet_a o_o that_o there_o be_v such_o a_o heart_n in_o i_o that_o i_o may_v for_o ever_o serve_v thou_o meditat._v xxvii_o when_o i_o read_v the_o story_n of_o the_o martyr_n i_o do_v wish_v that_o i_o have_v live_v in_o those_o day_n that_o i_o may_v also_o die_v as_o they_o do_v or_o methinks_v i_o can_v now_o willing_o lay_v down_o my_o life_n rather_o than_o yield_v to_o the_o abominable_a idolatry_n and_o superstition_n of_o the_o sea_n of_o rome_n but_o when_o i_o search_v &_o try_v my_o heart_n i_o much_o fear_v that_o the_o reason_n of_o this_o my_o desire_n be_v because_o i_o think_v it_o easy_a to_o lay_v down_o my_o life_n for_o christ_n sake_n then_o for_o his_o sake_n to_o overcome_v my_o corruption_n for_o it_o be_v but_o one_o act_n though_o it_o have_v more_o pain_n yet_o be_v but_o of_o small_a continuance_n it_o be_v less_o trouble_n than_o all_o my_o life_n long_o to_o fight_v against_o sin_n and_o thus_o i_o do_v ill_a even_o in_o my_o best_a wish_n in_o divers_a respect_n for_o i_o choose_v martyrdom_n not_o because_o thereby_o i_o may_v more_o honour_n god_n but_o that_o i_o may_v the_o soon_o and_o easy_o come_v to_o heaven_n and_o again_o that_o i_o think_v i_o may_v content_v myself_o though_o i_o do_v not_o so_o much_o hate_v corruption_n if_o i_o die_v a_o martyr_n all_o will_v be_v well_o whereas_o though_o i_o give_v my_o body_n to_o be_v burn_v and_o have_v not_o charity_n it_o will_v profit_v nothing_o and_o to_o love_n god_n it_o be_v impossible_a for_o he_o that_o do_v not_o hate_n and_o fight_v against_o his_o corruption_n alas_o o_o my_o soul_n how_o weary_a be_v we_o of_o our_o spiritual_a fight_n and_o we_o will_v fain_o find_v some_o other_o way_n to_o heaven_n then_o by_o the_o continuance_n of_o it_o o_o that_o i_o be_v dead_a to_o the_o world_n yet_o while_o we_o know_v something_o better_o we_o shall_v not_o think_v so_o we_o talk_v much_o of_o the_o vanity_n of_o the_o world_n but_o who_o believe_v that_o the_o world_n be_v vanity_n and_o vexation_n of_o spirit_n or_o who_o be_v sensible_a of_o this_o truth_n or_o if_o he_o be_v sensible_a of_o it_o and_o sometime_o affect_v with_o it_o yet_o it_o soon_o wanish_v and_o we_o do_v not_o live_v according_o how_o much_o easy_a be_v it_o to_o speak_v like_o a_o angel_n then_o live_v like_o a_o saint_n meditat._n xxviii_o lord_n that_o thou_o will_v do_v it_o for_o i_o take_v my_o soul_n and_o my_o body_n what_o shall_v i_o do_v with_o they_o any_o long_o i_o govern_v they_o so_o ill_o and_o indeed_o be_o so_o unable_a to_o govern_v they_o that_o they_o govern_v i_o lord_n if_o thou_o shall_v condemn_v i_o at_o the_o last_o day_n i_o do_v now_o justify_v thou_o and_o testify_v to_o all_o the_o world_n that_o thou_o be_v just_a though_o then_o if_o such_o a_o time_n shall_v come_v i_o shall_v blaspheme_v thou_o my_o dear_a god_n i_o have_v yet_o a_o spark_n of_o thy_o love_n i_o will_v not_o leave_v that_o small_a hold_n of_o thou_o for_o ten_o thousand_o world_n i_o know_v lord_n there_o be_v no_o dally_v with_o thou_o what_o if_o i_o speak_v with_o the_o tongue_n and_o write_v with_o the_o pen_n of_o man_n and_o angel_n it_o be_v nothing_o lord_n take_v a_o poor_a soul_n at_o his_o word_n lord_n i_o be_o thou_o and_o do_v now_o give_v myself_o and_o ten_o thousand_o world_n if_o i_o have_v they_o to_o thou_o yet_o when_o thou_o do_v take_v from_o i_o some_o poor_a part_n of_o my_o estate_n i_o murmur_v alas_o i_o have_v a_o poor_a weak_a heart_n meditat._v xxix_o lord_n my_o knowledge_n of_o thou_o be_v but_o small_a and_o that_o which_o be_v be_v but_o little_a spiritual_a or_o experimental_a to_o know_v thou_o by_o what_o other_o write_v and_o say_v of_o thou_o be_v sweet_a to_o they_o that_o can_v set_v their_o seal_n to_o it_o from_o their_o own_o experience_n lord_n what_o be_v it_o that_o have_v keep_v i_o so_o long_o from_o thou_o or_o keep_v thou_o so_o long_o from_o i_o i_o know_v that_o i_o have_v be_v want_v to_o thou_o and_o to_o myself_o lord_n take_v my_o heart_n i_o have_v too_o much_o love_n for_o any_o beside_o thou_o though_o i_o have_v too_o little_a for_o thou_o oh_o how_o sweet_a be_v the_o thought_n of_o thou_o and_o will_v be_v sweet_a if_o i_o think_v often_o and_o long_o and_o more_o attentive_o of_o thou_o alas_o i_o be_o almost_o grow_v out_o of_o acquaintance_n with_o thou_o i_o do_v not_o perceive_v my_o corruption_n in_o any_o thing_n more_o than_o in_o this_o that_o though_o to_o think_v of_o thou_o be_v a_o thing_n so_o easy_a and_o so_o profitable_a yet_o i_o think_v so_o seldom_o my_o dear_a god_n deliver_v i_o from_o the_o business_n of_o the_o world_n suit_n of_o law_n and_o such_o thing_n they_o undo_v i_o they_o take_v up_o my_o thought_n that_o i_o can_v be_v rid_v of_o they_o i_o feel_v upon_o i_o the_o curse_n which_o thou_o threaten_v upon_o the_o people_n of_o israel_n if_o they_o will_v not_o serve_v thou_o with_o joy_n they_o shall_v serve_v stranger_n with_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o hardship_n i_o be_v well_o while_o i_o be_v with_o thou_o than_o i_o have_v my_o song_n in_o the_o night_n now_o my_o day_n be_v turn_v into_o the_o shadow_n of_o death_n lord_n draw_v i_o draw_v i_o make_v the_o cord_n of_o thy_o love_n strong_a or_o rather_o than_o i_o shall_v perish_v make_v the_o cord_n of_o thy_o affliction_n strong_a and_o if_o i_o murmur_v scourge_v i_o while_o i_o leave_v murmur_v how_o true_a do_v i_o find_v that_o say_n he_o that_o injure_v forgive_v not_o my_o wickedness_n i_o have_v commit_v against_o thou_o make_v i_o not_o able_a to_o believe_v almost_o that_o thou_o be_v or_o can_v be_v reconcile_v unto_o i_o when_o i_o shall_v do_v more_o for_o thou_o and_o less_o against_o thou_o i_o shall_v easy_o believe_v thy_o love_n or_o rather_o when_o thy_o spirit_n shall_v shed_v abroad_o thy_o love_n in_o my_o heart_n i_o shall_v know_v thou_o love_v i_o i_o sigh_v and_o mourn_v and_o weep_v over_o my_o poor_a soul_n but_o can_v help_v it_o dear_a lord_n let_v my_o tear_n prevail_v with_o thou_o pity_v pity_n have_v pity_n upon_o a_o poor_a languish_a soul_n that_o be_v even_o gasp_v out_o his_o last_o breath_n it_o grieve_v i_o to_o see_v what_o a_o sad_a condition_n i_o be_o in_o i_o be_o not_o yet_o in_o hell_n and_o by_o thy_o mercy_n i_o may_v never_o come_v thither_o but_o i_o be_o run_v thither_o woe_n be_v i_o that_o i_o be_o constrain_v to_o live_v in_o mesech_n and_o to_o have_v my_o habitation_n in_o the_o tent_n of_o kedar_n meditat._v xxx_o lord_n i_o pray_v for_o mercy_n and_o when_o i_o have_v they_o to_o see_v the_o unsuitableness_n of_o my_o spirit_n to_o they_o and_o my_o unthankfulness_n for_o they_o bring_v more_o sadness_n upon_o i_o then_o to_o want_v they_o all_o the_o thing_n i_o beg_v of_o thou_o for_o temporal_a mercy_n both_o in_o carry_v i_o forth_o and_o bring_v i_o home_o and_o concern_v my_o business_n i_o go_v about_o not_o find_v thing_n in_o such_o a_o sad_a condition_n at_o home_n yet_o my_o poor_a heart_n be_v the_o same_o still_o and_o be_v as_o hard_o and_o as_o stony_a not_o willing_a to_o yield_v itself_o and_o all_o up_o to_o thou_o as_o if_o i_o be_v more_o able_a to_o order_v matter_n than_o thou_o now_o my_o heart_n be_v subject_a to_o murmur_v that_o it_o be_v so_o hard_a when_o it_o shall_v mourn_v lord_n thou_o have_v do_v enough_o to_o justify_v thy_o love_n and_o thy_o tender_a compassion_n to_o i_o if_o thou_o shall_v never_o do_v more_o and_o not_o only_o thy_o justice_n can_v not_o be_v blame_v but_o not_o thy_o mercy_n medit._fw-la xxxi_o accept_v of_o my_o poor_a prayer_n and_o when_o at_o the_o last_o day_n when_o the_o secret_n of_o all_o heart_n shall_v be_v know_v the_o hypocrisy_n and_o cold_a and_o my_o desire_n shall_v be_v know_v and_o thy_o goodness_n shall_v be_v admire_v in_o hear_v such_o prayer_n as_o i_o be_v for_o the_o light_n of_o thy_o countenance_n to_o shine_v upon_o and_o the_o breathe_n
cause_v all_o those_o to_o be_v judge_v and_o condemn_v that_o live_v in_o they_o therefore_o i_o be_o resolve_v by_o the_o gracious_a assistance_n of_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n for_o the_o time_n to_o come_v never_o to_o censure_v or_o judge_v any_o one_o as_o i_o have_v do_v and_o frequent_o to_o examine_v myself_o and_o as_o frequent_o and_o severe_o to_o judge_v myself_o as_o former_o i_o have_v use_v to_o censure_n and_o judge_v other_o and_o to_o use_v as_o much_o lenity_n mildness_n in_o judge_v and_o censure_v other_o as_o ever_o i_o do_v in_o censure_v my_o own_o way_n and_o if_o i_o do_v speak_v ill_a of_o any_o one_o i_o will_v if_o i_o remember_v it_o when_o i_o be_o before_o the_o throne_n of_o grace_n not_o only_o beg_v pardon_n of_o my_o sin_n in_o rash_a judge_n but_o as_o much_o as_o in_o i_o lie_v make_v he_o some_o restitution_n by_o put_v up_o as_o many_o prayer_n for_o he_o as_o i_o have_v speak_v evil_a thing_n of_o he_o and_o let_v we_o further_o resolve_v of_o my_o soul_n and_o by_o thy_o bless_a assistance_n o_o god_n i_o be_o resolve_v and_o do_v promise_n before_o thou_o for_o the_o time_n to_o come_v frequent_o and_o i_o beseech_v thou_o that_o i_o may_v always_o do_v it_o before_o i_o do_v or_o speak_v any_o thing_n consider_v whether_o i_o dare_v own_o that_o action_n or_o that_o word_n at_o the_o day_n of_o judgement_n and_o if_o i_o dare_v not_o own_v it_o i_o will_v not_o dare_v to_o do_v or_o speak_v it_o and_o when_o at_o any_o time_n i_o think_v of_o omit_v of_o any_o holy_a duty_n and_o think_v that_o such_o or_o such_o a_o excuse_n will_v serve_v i_o will_v bring_v it_o beforâ—_n the_o judgement_n seat_n of_o god_n by_o serious_o consider_v with_o myself_o whether_o in_o my_o conscience_n i_o think_v that_o god_n will_v take_v that_o for_o a_o sufficient_a excuse_n at_o that_o great_a day_n for_o the_o conclusion_n of_o this_o exercise_n i_o refer_v you_o to_o the_o conclusion_n of_o the_o former_a meditation_n for_o i_o be_o loath_a this_o manual_n shall_v swell_v too_o much_o meditat._n vi_o of_o hell_n be_v convince_v of_o and_o affect_v with_o the_o presence_n of_o god_n consideration_n 1_o consider_v o_o my_o soul_n the_o greatness_n of_o these_o torment_n certain_o if_o god_n so_o heavy_o afflict_v his_o own_o people_n as_o he_o do_v job_n heman_n and_o divers_a of_o his_o people_n who_o have_v be_v in_o disertion_n many_o year_n how_o sad_a be_v the_o expression_n of_o david_n he_o say_v he_o roar_v for_o the_o disquietness_n of_o his_o soul_n and_o how_o many_o sad_a expression_n have_v job_n that_o he_o have_v not_o time_n to_o swallow_v his_o spittle_n and_o how_o that_o he_o choose_v rather_o a_o strangle_a then_o life_n and_o many_o other_o exceed_v sad_a expression_n which_o can_v never_o have_v proceed_v from_o a_o holy_a man_n who_o be_v set_v before_o we_o as_o a_o pattern_n of_o patience_n if_o his_o affliction_n have_v not_o be_v very_o great_a and_o heman_n say_v that_o the_o terror_n of_o the_o lord_n be_v so_o great_a that_o he_o be_v almost_o distract_v with_o they_o and_o so_o from_o his_o youth_n up_o until_o that_o time_n that_o he_o write_v that_o psalm_n psal._n 88_o if_o this_o be_v do_v to_o the_o green_a tree_n what_o shall_v be_v do_v to_o the_o dry_a and_o if_o god_n chastise_v his_o people_n with_o such_o rod_n what_o scorpion_n shall_v the_o damn_a be_v scourge_v with_o and_o if_o the_o righteous_a have_v be_v thus_o afflict_v toss_v with_o tempest_n and_o not_o comfort_v where_o shall_v the_o wicked_a and_o ungodly_a appear_v what_o shall_v the_o portion_n of_o their_o cup_n be_v even_o the_o dregs_o of_o the_o vial_n of_o god_n wrath_n for_o upon_o the_o wicked_a he_o shall_v rain_v snare_n fire_n and_o brimstone_n and_o a_o horrible_a tempest_n 2._o consider_v what_o the_o suffering_n of_o christ_n be_v if_o we_o do_v true_o and_o serious_o consider_v how_o much_o those_o word_n signify_v when_o our_o saviour_n say_v my_o soul_n be_v heavy_a to_o the_o death_n we_o shall_v be_v help_v to_o understand_v what_o our_o saviour_n sorrow_n be_v if_o the_o wise_a holy_a and_o patient_a man_n in_o the_o world_n who_o be_v not_o oppress_v or_o distemper_v at_o all_o by_o reason_n of_o any_o bodily_a distemper_n of_o mclancholly_a i_o say_v if_o such_o a_o man_n shall_v come_v to_o a_o intimate_a bosom_n friend_n and_o with_o a_o sad_a countenance_n shall_v fell_v he_o that_o he_o be_v even_o ready_a to_o die_v because_o of_o the_o abundance_n of_o grief_n and_o sadness_n that_o lie_v upon_o his_o spirit_n will_v not_o this_o argue_v that_o his_o sorrow_n be_v exceed_o great_a especial_o when_o his_o friend_n never_o hear_v he_o to_o complain_v in_o all_o his_o life_n though_o the_o injury_n and_o suffering_n have_v be_v very_o great_a all_o along_o if_o he_o shall_v further_o say_v unto_o his_o friend_n i_o beseech_v you_o to_o watch_v with_o i_o sure_o it_o will_v argue_v a_o heart_n overwhelm_v with_o grief_n now_o i_o say_v for_o a_o saviour_n to_o say_v so_o to_o his_o disciple_n and_o afterward_o to_o sweat_v blood_n o_o what_o unknown_a sorrow_n do_v our_o saviour_n feel_v how_o then_o be_v it_o possible_a for_o the_o wicked_a to_o escape_v when_o god_n spare_v not_o his_o own_o son_n though_o he_o be_v but_o a_o surety_n and_o those_o sorrow_n that_o make_v he_o groan_v will_v crush_v thou_o to_o piece_n woe_n be_v to_o that_o man_n that_o be_v to_o satisfy_v the_o justice_n of_o god_n in_o his_o own_o person_n 3._o consider_v o_o my_o soul_n the_o sad_a aggravate_v concomitant_n of_o these_o torment_n every_o member_n and_o faculty_n both_o of_o body_n and_o soul_n shall_v be_v torment_v here_o if_o our_o head_n ache_v may_v be_v our_o heart_n do_v not_o ache_v if_o we_o have_v the_o stone_n we_o have_v not_o the_o gout_n or_o if_o both_o they_o yet_o not_o some_o other_o torture_a disease_n or_o if_o the_o whole_a body_n be_v torture_v yet_o one_o may_v possess_v his_o soul_n in_o patience_n but_o to_o have_v a_o torture_a body_n and_o a_o wound_a conscience_n who_o can_v bear_v it_o beside_o all_o this_o none_o can_v help_v none_o will_v pity_v those_o that_o be_v in_o hell_n nay_o what_o be_v the_o height_n of_o misery_n that_o way_n god_n himself_o shall_v in_o the_o midst_n of_o all_o their_o roar_n and_o torture_n laugh_v at_o their_o calamity_n when_o it_o come_v as_o desolaion_n and_o as_o a_o whirlwind_n upon_o they_o 4_o consider_v serious_o what_o eternity_n mean_v for_o ever_o ever_o ever_o to_o be_v torment_v be_v a_o overwhelm_a consideration_n to_o lie_v under_o the_o torture_n of_o the_o stone_n but_o one_o night_n how_o tedious_a be_v it_o but_o to_o be_v torment_v to_o all_o eternity_n o_o it_o be_v the_o hell_n of_o hell_n affection_n and_o resolution_n be_v aostnish_v and_o tremble_v at_o the_o wrath_n of_o the_o lord_n alas_o o_o my_o soul_n why_o do_v thou_o not_o tremble_v as_o felix_n do_v when_o thou_o consider_v these_o thing_n why_o be_v not_o thou_o more_o sensible_a of_o the_o power_n of_o his_o wrath_n do_v not_o the_o foundation_n of_o the_o earth_n tremble_v and_o the_o pillar_n of_o heaven_n shake_v when_o he_o be_v angry_a and_o how_o come_v it_o to_o pass_v that_o thou_o be_v so_o little_o affect_v with_o these_o thing_n have_v thou_o full_a assurance_n of_o the_o favour_n of_o god_n when_o be_v it_o seal_v sure_o the_o very_a possibility_n that_o these_o thing_n shall_v come_v upon_o we_o shall_v very_o much_o affect_v we_o 2._o pray_v o_o bless_a god_n thou_o that_o have_v the_o key_n of_o death_n and_o of_o hell_n take_v pity_n of_o i_o and_o though_o i_o neither_o understand_v nor_o be_o sensible_a in_o any_o considerable_a measure_n either_o of_o the_o the_o misery_n of_o hell_n or_o of_o my_o own_o danger_n in_o fall_v into_o they_o lord_n how_o thou_o know_v both_o let_v the_o bowel_n of_o thy_o compassion_n earn_v towards_o i_o and_o never_o suffer_v i_o to_o fall_v into_o that_o devour_a fire_n and_o into_o those_o everlasting_a burn_n bless_a be_v thy_o name_n that_o i_o be_o on_o this_o side_n of_o hell_n if_o thou_o have_v cast_v i_o into_o that_o place_n of_o torment_n as_o i_o have_v daily_o provoke_v thou_o to_o do_v i_o have_v be_v past_o hope_n past_a prayer_n past_a mercy_n past_a repentance_n i_o beseech_v theâ—_n o_o lord_n that_o thou_o will_v chasten_v i_o that_o i_o may_v not_o be_v condemn_v with_o the_o world_n 3._o despise_v and_o abhor_v the_o sinful_a vanity_n and_o pleasure_n of_o the_o world_n o_o vain_a world_n there_o be_v nothing_o in_o thou_o but_o sin_n and_o misery_n temptation_n vanity_n and_o vexation_n of_o spirit_n and_o be_v thy_o vain_a
in_o my_o heart_n and_o sencelesness_n upon_o my_o spirit_n i_o speak_v these_o thing_n ah_o lord_n thou_o have_v scourge_v i_o with_o scorpion_n for_o my_o sin_n do_v increase_v as_o well_o as_o my_o affliction_n these_o affliction_n to_o i_o be_v scorpion_n to_o i_o they_o have_v poison_n in_o they_o and_o at_o once_o i_o be_o scourge_v and_o sting_v with_o they_o a_o sad_a ease_n it_o be_v when_o my_o punishment_n be_v heavy_a than_o i_o can_v bear_v and_o yet_o notwithstanding_o i_o go_v from_o the_o presence_n of_o god_n too_o and_o that_o more_o and_o more_o my_o tear_n dry_v up_o in_o my_o eye_n and_o my_o love_n go_v out_o of_o my_o heart_n as_o soon_o as_o kindle_v when_o the_o candle_n of_o the_o lord_n shine_v upon_o my_o tabernacle_n in_o my_o first_o conversion_n when_o the_o fire_n of_o thy_o love_n be_v kindle_v in_o my_o heart_n i_o have_v have_v some_o discourse_n of_o devotion_n that_o i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o bear_v the_o ravishment_n that_o the_o remembrance_n and_o meditation_n of_o they_o bring_v to_o my_o soul_n now_o almost_o as_o full_a of_o sadness_n as_o then_o of_o joy_n after_o those_o time_n as_o those_o after_o the_o flood_n my_o joy_n and_o the_o act_n and_o work_n of_o my_o grace_n grace_n grow_v very_o short_a live_v in_o comparison_n of_o what_o they_o be_v before_o then_o they_o be_v methusalems_n for_o age_n and_o sampson_n for_o strength_n to_o what_o they_o be_v now_o before_o though_o i_o fall_v spiritual_o sick_a and_o my_o strength_n and_o comfort_n be_v go_v yet_o i_o be_v sensible_a of_o my_o weakness_n it_o be_v a_o pain_n and_o a_o grief_n unto_o i_o that_o i_o can_v not_o walk_v into_o the_o delightful_a garden_n of_o the_o spouse_n and_o to_o the_o sweet_a bed_n of_o his_o spice_n i_o can_v weep_v for_o want_v of_o tear_n if_o not_o i_o can_v mourn_v for_o sorrow_n but_o now_o like_o a_o man_n that_o groan_v and_o struggle_v so_o long_o that_o he_o can_v struggle_v no_o long_o but_o grow_v senseless_a can_v hardly_o be_v perceive_v to_o breathe_v or_o live_v if_o the_o sweet_a music_n shall_v be_v play_v by_o he_o or_o the_o dear_a friend_n in_o the_o world_n shall_v come_v and_o ask_v he_o with_o tear_n in_o his_o eye_n dear_a husband_n or_o dear_a wife_n how_o do_v you_o the_o poor_a sick_a one_o do_v not_o so_o much_o as_o open_v the_o eye_n to_o see_v who_o it_o be_v that_o speak_v or_o if_o open_v they_o they_o be_v present_o heavy_a with_o death_n fall_v down_o again_o and_o he_o die_v so_o be_v it_o with_o my_o poor_a soul_n sometime_o i_o can_v hear_v my_o saviour_n as_o it_o be_v say_v unto_o i_o for_o sometime_o methinks_v i_o see_v he_o about_o my_o sick_a soul_n ah_o poor_a soul_n how_o do_v thou_o do_v be_v my_o joseph_n yet_o live_v but_o alas_o lord_n thou_o know_v i_o have_v scarce_o strength_n or_o life_n to_o lift_v up_o my_o eye_n to_o thou_o lord_n can_v these_o dry_a bone_n live_v can_v these_o dry_a eye_n weep_v can_v this_o freeze_a heart_n be_v inflame_v meditat._n iu._n lord_n i_o be_o ashamed_a to_o consider_v what_o i_o know_v of_o thou_o when_o i_o think_v what_o i_o do_v for_o thou_o ah_o my_o god_n the_o care_n of_o the_o world_n lie_v heavy_a upon_o i_o resolution_n though_o never_o so_o strong_a be_v too_o weak_a to_o overcome_v my_o corruption_n alas_o i_o can_v scarce_o say_v any_o more_o than_o i_o have_v say_v in_o the_o confess_v and_o bewail_v my_o sad_a spiritual_a condition_n though_o i_o have_v say_v nothing_o to_o what_o i_o shall_v say_v have_v i_o not_o tell_v thou_o lord_n with_o tear_n in_o my_o eye_n and_o with_o a_o sad_a heart_n that_o i_o find_v my_o corruption_n get_v ground_n of_o i_o my_o prayer_n my_o tear_n my_o resolution_n and_o some_o endeavour_n do_v resist_v but_o can_v overcome_v they_o these_o keep_v they_o from_o prevail_v so_o soon_o but_o not_o from_o prevail_v i_o humble_o confess_v or_o desire_v so_o to_o do_v that_o i_o may_v complain_v to_o thou_o but_o i_o shall_v add_v to_o my_o abomination_n exceed_o if_o i_o shall_v complain_v of_o thou_o my_o heart_n do_v always_o tempt_v i_o to_o it_o when_o i_o consider_v what_o i_o be_v and_o what_o i_o be_o it_o be_v a_o talon_n of_o lead_n upon_o my_o soul_n yet_o since_o my_o preach_n thou_o be_v glorify_v and_o thy_o people_n edify_v more_o than_o if_o i_o shall_v spend_v all_o my_o time_n in_o private_a meditation_n i_o be_o willing_a to_o submit_v only_o i_o do_v humble_o beseech_v thou_o with_o tear_n in_o my_o eye_n that_o though_o i_o have_v less_o time_n to_o spend_v in_o such_o private_a duty_n yet_o that_o my_o poor_a soul_n may_v not_o lose_v her_o love_n to_o they_o and_o though_o i_o perform_v few_o duty_n i_o may_v not_o perform_v they_o worse_o than_o i_o do_v when_o i_o perform_v more_o meditat._n v._n i_o do_v much_o wonder_n at_o myself_o and_o at_o many_o nay_o some_o what_o at_o all_o christian_n upon_o day_n of_o humiliation_n but_o most_o at_o myself_o to_o hear_v the_o tongue_n of_o a_o poor_a christian_a confess_v and_o his_o eye_n weep_v for_o his_o sin_n and_o speak_v of_o they_o with_o such_o expression_n and_o such_o figh_n that_o one_o will_v think_v sure_o this_o christian_n keep_v a_o strict_a communion_n with_o god_n sure_o he_o will_v not_o sin_v for_o a_o world_n sure_o god_n be_v in_o all_o this_o man_n thought_n and_o yet_o stay_v but_o while_o he_o have_v do_v his_o prayer_n and_o you_o find_v in_o he_o such_o strong_a thought_n word_n and_o action_n that_o be_v almost_o incredible_a loose_a and_o idle_a word_n and_o vain_a thought_n i_o but_o too_o often_o experience_v it_o and_o make_v it_o even_o past_a hope_n it_o shall_v be_v otherwise_o with_o i_o if_o any_o town_n that_o be_v straight_o besiege_v with_o cruel_a enemy_n shall_v send_v for_o aid_n to_o such_o or_o such_o and_o when_o they_o come_v they_o shall_v send_v out_o most_o of_o the_o town_n to_o join_v with_o the_o enemy_n against_o those_o that_o come_v to_o help_v they_o what_o shall_v we_o say_v of_o such_o people_n lord_n just_o thus_o be_v we_o we_o have_v a_o world_n of_o corruption_n and_o temptation_n sin_n and_o hell_n and_o satan_n all_o beset_v we_o and_o violent_o assault_v we_o we_o pray_v for_o the_o help_n of_o god_n against_o they_o day_n after_o day_n we_o send_v our_o prayer_n to_o heaven_n for_o assistance_n well_o god_n do_v send_v his_o holy_a spirit_n to_o help_v his_o poor_a soul_n in_o the_o ministry_n of_o the_o word_n tell_v we_o what_o we_o shall_v do_v to_o overcome_v these_o enemy_n and_o send_v many_o motion_n of_o the_o spirit_n to_o bring_v into_o our_o soul_n grace_v to_o strengthen_v we_o we_o will_v not_o do_v what_o he_o advise_v we_o to_o do_v nay_o but_o we_o take_v part_n with_o our_o corruption_n and_o resist_v and_o fight_v against_o the_o power_n of_o â—he_n world_n to_o come_v o_o thy_o patience_n be_v not_o to_o be_v understand_v i_o be_o weary_a to_o think_v before_o i_o go_v to_o prayer_n how_o little_a fruit_n i_o expect_v from_o they_o i_o pray_v and_o pray_v and_o weep_v and_o hear_v and_o sigh_v and_o confess_v these_o as_o well_o as_o other_o of_o my_o sin_n and_o yet_o as_o a_o ship_n in_o the_o sea_n they_o do_v divide_v my_o corruption_n for_o the_o present_a but_o they_o present_o return_v to_o their_o former_a course_n lord_n do_v not_o the_o bowel_n of_o thy_o compassion_n yern_v within_o thou_o to_o see_v i_o thy_o poor_a servant_n in_o such_o a_o miserable_a condition_n as_o i_o be_o in_o do_v not_o thou_o see_v how_o sin_n and_o corruption_n do_v as_o it_o be_v lie_v gnaw_v upon_o i_o and_o eat_v up_o my_o very_a flesh_n and_o destroy_v my_o soul_n and_o i_o have_v neither_o hand_n nor_o foot_n to_o move_v against_o they_o lord_n who_o be_v it_o that_o must_v make_v i_o hate_v corruption_n be_v it_o not_o thy_o spirit_n who_o must_v overcome_v my_o resist_n of_o thy_o spirit_n be_v it_o not_o thy_o spirit_n lord_n i_o do_v not_o know_v in_o the_o world_n what_o to_o do_v to_o leave_v off_o strive_v be_v not_o only_o to_o despair_v of_o thy_o goodness_n because_o thou_o do_v not_o help_v as_o much_o and_o when_o i_o will_v and_o beside_o if_o i_o can_v get_v ground_n nay_o though_o notwithstanding_o i_o lose_v ground_n yet_o doubtless_o i_o shall_v not_o go_v so_o swift_o down_o the_o stream_n as_o if_o i_o strive_v not_o at_o all_o if_o i_o must_v be_v forsake_v by_o thou_o to_o all_o eternity_n yet_o lord_n let_v i_o not_o while_o i_o live_v so_o fall_v that_o i_o shall_v be_v a_o scandal_n to_o religion_n alas_o be_v it_o come_v to_o this_o o_o my_o soul_n
for_o i_o that_o thou_o have_v do_v for_o i_o bless_a god_n do_v but_o make_v i_o thou_o meditat._n xiii_o in_o the_o most_o serious_a address_n of_o my_o soul_n to_o take_v hold_n upon_o god_n i_o find_v a_o unhappy_a frozenness_n benumb_v the_o best_a of_o my_o devotion_n and_o thereby_o i_o show_v either_o that_o i_o be_o extreme_o ignorant_a of_o thou_o lord_n or_o what_o be_v worse_o senseless_a of_o thou_o the_o truth_n be_v i_o may_v just_o tremble_v when_o i_o come_v to_o keep_v any_o day_n of_o humiliation_n in_o thy_o sight_n not_o only_o because_o of_o the_o desperate_a sin_n i_o be_o guilty_a of_o but_o especial_o because_o such_o duty_n do_v work_v little_a or_o nothing_o upon_o i_o and_o this_o be_v sure_a enough_o that_o those_o ordinance_n that_o do_v not_o soften_v do_v harden_v i_o be_o in_o a_o great_a straight_o my_o conscience_n drive_v i_o upon_o duty_n and_o i_o dare_v not_o omit_v they_o and_o yet_o my_o heart_n be_v so_o hard_a and_o filthy_a that_o they_o do_v not_o purify_v i_o so_o i_o be_o more_o defile_v than_o before_o ah_o my_o god_n thou_o know_v what_o affliction_n be_v bitter_a and_o strong_a enough_o to_o purge_v these_o corruption_n lord_n send_v they_o and_o though_o i_o be_o so_o vile_a that_o i_o do_v not_o now_o fervent_o and_o earnest_o enough_o desire_n to_o be_v cure_v but_o yet_o lord_n i_o know_v my_o want_n of_o desire_n of_o reformation_n be_v one_o of_o my_o great_a corruption_n i_o desire_v to_o be_v cure_v of_o that_o or_o at_o least_o lord_n thy_o fatherly_a goodness_n i_o hope_v will_v take_v care_n to_o cure_v i_o of_o that_o and_o lord_n this_o i_o know_v that_o when_o thou_o shall_v send_v any_o such_o affliction_n upon_o i_o i_o shall_v it_o be_v too_o likely_a murmur_n and_o be_v weary_a of_o the_o chastisement_n of_o the_o lord_n it_o may_v be_v i_o shall_v pray_v for_o the_o take_n off_o of_o that_o corrosive_n before_o it_o have_v eat_v away_o that_o deadness_n of_o heart_n and_o other_o corruption_n that_o now_o lie_v upon_o i_o yet_o lord_n do_v not_o yield_v to_o such_o prayer_n go_v on_o with_o thy_o cure_n and_o if_o i_o be_v impatient_a cure_v that_o corruption_n also_o and_o every_o other_o corruption_n that_o shall_v appear_v in_o the_o time_n of_o cure_n of_o any_o corruption_n i_o shall_v bless_v thou_o one_o day_n for_o not_o hear_v and_o not_o grant_v such_o prayer_n as_o shall_v be_v for_o my_o spiritual_a harm_n lord_n death_n be_v very_o bitter_a unto_o i_o sure_o it_o will_v not_o be_v so_o bitter_a if_o there_o be_v no_o root_n of_o bitterness_n in_o i_o if_o i_o keep_v a_o strict_a communion_n with_o thou_o in_o this_o world_n i_o shall_v long_o for_o a_o full_a communion_n with_o thou_o in_o heaven_n for_o ever_o meditat._n xiii_o alas_o oh_o my_o soul_n may_v not_o i_o just_o spend_v the_o remainder_n of_o my_o day_n in_o sigh_v to_o perceive_v my_o good_a from_o who_o presence_n i_o have_v in_o former_a time_n have_v so_o much_o grace_n and_o comfort_n to_o be_v such_o a_o stranger_n now_o to_o i_o and_o what_o be_v worse_o my_o heart_n so_o senseless_a of_o his_o absence_n the_o time_n have_v be_v when_o my_o heart_n have_v almost_o bleed_v within_o i_o to_o think_v what_o a_o miserable_a condition_n i_o shall_v be_v in_o if_o ever_o it_o shall_v come_v to_o pass_v that_o it_o shall_v be_v thus_o lord_n why_o do_v thou_o absent_v thyself_o from_o my_o poor_a soul_n if_o i_o be_v in_o a_o desertion_n of_o comfort_n i_o be_v in_o a_o far_o better_a condition_n but_o to_o be_v in_o a_o desertion_n of_o grace_n and_o not_o to_o be_v trouble_v be_v a_o sad_a condition_n me_n think_v i_o see_v my_o stock_n of_o grace_n grow_v weak_a and_o weak_a and_o more_o and_o more_o to_o languish_v as_o one_o that_o be_v die_v the_o pulse_n grow_v weak_a and_o weak_a until_o at_o last_o it_o be_v no_o more_o o_o lord_n what_o to_o say_v i_o do_v not_o know_v alas_o i_o can_v but_o call_v and_o cry_v &_o pray_v lord_n if_o ever_o thou_o will_v take_v pity_n upon_o a_o poor_a miserable_a speechless_a sinner_n lord_n if_o thou_o will_v that_o i_o may_v overcome_v lord_n i_o can_v get_v my_o heart_n to_o be_v content_a to_o be_v damn_v and_o indeed_o since_o then_o i_o must_v eternal_o be_v separate_v from_o thou_o i_o do_v not_o desire_v to_o get_v my_o heart_n to_o be_v content_a but_o to_o struggle_v against_o it_o as_o long_o as_o i_o be_o able_a meditat._n fourteen_o to_o have_v satan_n and_o corruption_n come_v and_o beset_v i_o as_o soon_o as_o i_o awake_v and_o to_o follow_v i_o all_o the_o day_n long_o and_o go_v to_o bed_n with_o i_o and_o to_o keep_v i_o wake_v to_o have_v no_o respite_n be_v a_o sad_a condition_n when_o i_o shall_v awake_v with_o my_o god_n my_o good_a god_n who_o keep_v i_o and_o watch_v over_o i_o while_o i_o sleep_v to_o have_v satan_n stand_v ready_a and_o hold_v his_o temptation_n before_o my_o eye_n which_o way_n soever_o i_o look_v and_o to_o prevail_v so_o far_o with_o i_o as_o at_o last_o to_o make_v i_o scarce_o to_o hate_v the_o sin_n he_o tempt_v i_o to_o i_o feel_v in_o my_o spiritual_a part_n a_o utter_a abhor_v of_o the_o sin_n i_o will_v give_v ten_o thousand_o world_n rather_o than_o commit_v the_o sin_n and_o yet_o i_o have_v much_o ado_n to_o refrain_v alas_o can_v my_o secure_a soul_n live_v meditat._n xv._n i_o be_o in_o such_o a_o wretched_a temper_n as_o to_o be_v willing_a to_o offend_v my_o god_n and_o when_o i_o go_v about_o to_o grieve_v sorrow_n be_v far_o from_o i_o nay_o the_o grief_n which_o sometime_o i_o feel_v be_v not_o strong_a enough_o to_o conquer_v the_o temptation_n when_o tear_n stand_v in_o my_o eye_n to_o consider_v the_o miserable_a condition_n of_o my_o soul_n in_o be_v so_o proâ—e_v to_o sin_n the_o temptation_n increase_v to_o hear_v one_o of_o thy_o servant_n groan_v under_o thy_o hand_n and_o then_o to_o stand_v parly_v with_o temptation_n and_o not_o rather_o be_v afraid_a that_o the_o same_o affliction_n etc._n etc._n lord_n i_o be_o in_o thy_o hand_n for_o affliction_n lay_v what_o thou_o will_v upon_o i_o i_o must_v bear_v it_o and_o i_o will_v bear_v it_o patient_o nay_o lord_n though_o this_o temptation_n be_v such_o a_o unwelcome_a guest_n and_o i_o be_o two_o weary_a of_o it_o yet_o so_o thou_o will_v give_v i_o grace_n to_o overcome_v my_o impatience_n i_o be_o content_a lord_n as_o much_o as_o i_o can_v but_o alas_o my_o god_n to_o have_v satan_n my_o companion_n instead_o of_o my_o god_n i_o hope_v will_v never_o be_v please_v to_o i_o meditat._v xvi_o lord_n what_o vain_a heart_n think_v of_o thou_o it_o matter_n not_o except_o it_o be_v to_o discover_v the_o wretchedness_n of_o it_o thou_o have_v more_o glorious_a creature_n to_o praise_v thou_o my_o praise_n and_o my_o thought_n of_o thou_o be_v so_o low_a and_o so_o unworthy_a of_o thou_o that_o thou_o may_v forbid_v i_o as_o thou_o do_v the_o devil_n to_o confess_v thou_o or_o to_o say_v any_o thing_n of_o thou_o my_o dear_a god_n if_o a_o world_n will_v buy_v it_o for_o one_o such_o sight_n of_o thou_o as_o may_v so_o ravish_v my_o soul_n that_o i_o may_v never_o more_o see_v any_o beauty_n or_o taste_v any_o sweetness_n in_o any_o thing_n but_o in_o thou_o that_o i_o may_v see_v thou_o with_o open_a face_n that_o i_o may_v be_v transform_v into_o thy_o image_n from_o glory_n to_o glory_n lord_n thou_o be_v still_o beyond_o i_o the_o high_a my_o thought_n be_v of_o thou_o the_o more_o thou_o be_v beyond_o i_o and_o above_o i_o when_o my_o thought_n be_v best_a my_o thought_n be_v lose_v in_o the_o meditation_n of_o thou_o as_o the_o stone_n that_o be_v throw_v into_o the_o calm_a sea_n make_v great_a and_o great_a circle_n but_o can_v never_o reach_v the_o shore_n lord_n i_o be_o content_a i_o may_v be_v lose_v in_o myself_o so_o i_o may_v find_v thou_o lord_n though_o there_o be_v none_o but_o thou_o and_o i_o in_o the_o world_n i_o have_v enough_o nay_o though_o there_o be_v none_o but_o thou_o and_o i_o in_o heaven_n i_o have_v enough_o enough_o though_o i_o have_v nothing_o to_o say_v to_o thou_o but_o what_o i_o have_v say_v a_o thousand_o time_n thou_o be_v my_o god_n my_o saviour_n my_o all_o thou_o be_v he_o who_o my_o soul_n love_v yet_o though_o i_o have_v nothing_o else_o to_o say_v nor_o case_n there_o be_v any_o new_a relish_n yet_o i_o delight_v to_o be_v alone_o with_o thou_o nay_o though_o thou_o say_v nothing_o to_o my_o poor_a soul_n but_o what_o i_o have_v hear_v from_o thou_o yet_o let_v i_o still_o be_v in_o thy_o company_n i_o have_v
that_o inflame_v all_o thy_o angel_n with_o love_n i_o have_v no_o way_n but_o to_o come_v before_o thy_o presence_n in_o hope_n that_o at_o the_o last_o shall_v be_v thaw_v if_o not_o inflame_v thou_o will_v not_o put_v out_o the_o smoke_a snuff_n of_o a_o candle_n i_o be_o such_o a_o one_o enlighten_v and_o inflame_v though_o now_o i_o send_v forth_o nothing_o but_o a_o unsavoury_a stench_n what_o shall_v i_o stand_v imperfect_a as_o i_o be_o thus_o speak_v what_o i_o may_v and_o what_o i_o have_v to_o lay_v to_o my_o god_n lord._n thou_o have_v command_v in_o thy_o word_n that_o if_o a_o adulterer_n defile_v a_o woman_n and_o she_o cry_v not_o out_o than_o he_o shall_v be_v put_v to_o death_n lord_n infidelity_n hypocrisy_n and_o vainglory_n be_v come_v to_o undo_v i_o to_o defile_v my_o soul_n and_o they_o have_v almost_o persuade_v my_o soul_n not_o to_o cry_v out_o to_o be_v ravish_v be_v a_o great_a affliction_n but_o to_o embrace_v the_o adulterer_n be_v a_o abomination_n if_o i_o cry_v to_o man_n for_o succour_n if_o i_o go_v to_o ordinance_n alas_o the_o adulterer_n be_v a_o strong_a man_n he_o have_v lock_v the_o door_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o none_o can_v break_v they_o open_v but_o thou_o only_o lord_n do_v not_o thou_o stand_v knock_v at_o the_o door_n of_o my_o heart_n for_o the_o strong_a man_n will_v not_o and_o i_o be_o keep_v so_o fast_o by_o my_o corruption_n i_o can_v come_v to_o let_v thou_o in_o lord_n break_v open_a the_o door_n and_o come_v in_o to_o help_v i_o before_o i_o be_o utter_o undo_v as_o it_o be_v with_o the_o levite_n concubine_n so_o will_v it_o be_v with_o my_o poor_a soul_n corruption_n after_o corruption_n and_o sin_n after_o sin_n will_v so_o abuse_v she_o that_o she_o will_v be_v at_o last_o dead_a alas_o i_o think_v i_o look_v upon_o my_o poor_a soul_n as_o one_o look_n upon_o a_o ship_n toss_v among_o rock_n in_o the_o sea_n one_o see_v it_o and_o pity_v it_o but_o know_v not_o how_o to_o help_v it_o there_o come_v a_o wave_n and_o carry_v it_o with_o violence_n among_o the_o midst_n of_o the_o rock_n and_o make_v it_o reel_v and_o stagger_v like_o a_o drunken_a man_n and_o then_o all_o in_o the_o ship_n be_v fain_o to_o pump_v and_o toil_n to_o save_v their_o life_n at_o last_o it_o be_v dash_v in_o piece_n and_o all_o fain_a to_o get_v upon_o break_a piece_n of_o the_o ship_n to_o swim_v to_o the_o shore_n if_o it_o may_v be_v my_o soul_n be_v even_o labour_v for_o life_n lord_n what_o will_v thou_o do_v will_v thou_o be_v as_o a_o man_n astonish_v and_o as_o a_o mighty_a man_n that_o can_v help_v then_o i_o be_o undo_v than_o i_o may_v say_v if_o thou_o will_v not_o then_o farewell_n all_o my_o duty_n farewell_o all_o my_o grace_n and_o all_o my_o comfort_n which_o i_o have_v have_v in_o the_o dear_a embrace_n of_o my_o god_n ah_o must_v i_o not_o pray_v but_o with_o my_o tongue_n mast_n i_o have_v no_o more_o comfort_n but_o what_o poor_a creature_n can_v give_v i_o lord_n if_o i_o must_v perish_v let_v i_o perish_v in_o thy_o way_n let_v i_o convert_v many_o unto_o thou_o though_o i_o know_v my_o damnation_n shall_v be_v great_a if_o i_o perish_v for_o live_v so_o contrary_a to_o i_o own_o doctrine_n lord_n i_o be_o a_o poor_a miserable_a man_n and_o a_o more_o miserable_a christian_a thou_o be_v i_o can_v possible_o imagine_v what_o but_o i_o hope_v lord_n i_o shall_v know_v these_o day_n of_o ignorance_n and_o sin_n will_v not_o always_o last_o when_o my_o change_n come_v i_o shall_v nomore_o sin_v and_o repent_v and_o repent_v and_o sin_n as_o i_o do_v now_o oh_o my_o corruption_n i_o hope_v one_o day_n i_o shall_v leave_v you_o all_o in_o the_o grave_a behind_o i_o the_o day_n be_v come_v when_o while_o i_o be_o praise_v god_n you_o shall_v not_o come_v and_o lie_v as_o a_o talon_n of_o lead_n upon_o my_o soul_n and_o hinder_v my_o flight_n come_v lord_n jesus_n come_v quick_o come_v while_o my_o soul_n be_v fill_v with_o joy_n to_o think_v of_o thy_o come_n o_o my_o god_n thou_o be_v enough_o for_o i_o for_o my_o soul_n can_v hold_v no_o more_o lord_n i_o be_o afraid_a of_o the_o joy_n sometime_o i_o have_v to_o think_v of_o thou_o tear_n for_o my_o sin_n be_v fit_a for_o i_o then_o tear_n of_o joy_n yet_o i_o dare_v not_o refuse_v they_o nay_o i_o can_v if_o i_o will_v they_o be_v so_o sweet_a so_o sweet_a heaven_n be_v but_o a_o great_a measure_n of_o they_o lord_n thou_o be_v enough_o enough_o for_o they_o that_o love_v thou_o meditat._v xxii_o to_o see_v a_o dead_a man_n array_v with_o all_o the_o rich_a clothes_n still_o there_o be_v more_o horror_n to_o behold_v he_o then_o delight_n so_o my_o poor_a soul_n look_v ghastly_a in_o all_o the_o duty_n i_o perform_v i_o have_v a_o cold_a and_o dead_a soul_n for_o all_o they_o and_o more_o terror_n there_o be_v in_o the_o deadness_n then_o there_o be_v comfort_n in_o the_o multitude_n of_o they_o this_o i_o know_v by_o experience_n yet_o christ_n be_v not_o sweet_a unto_o i_o my_o dear_a saviour_n to_o who_o i_o be_v so_o dear_a lord_n jesus_n give_v i_o a_o heart_n that_o may_v feel_v thy_o sweetness_n i_o be_o convince_v that_o thou_o be_v so_o but_o my_o poor_a heart_n have_v not_o enough_o taste_v the_o sweetness_n of_o this_o truth_n that_o all_o thing_n be_v dross_n and_o dung_n in_o comparison_n of_o christ_n lord_n here_o be_v my_o estate_n my_o health_n my_o life_n my_o liberty_n and_o all_o that_o i_o have_v and_o have_v i_o more_o i_o will_v free_o give_v all_o give_v but_o such_o a_o heart_n as_o i_o desire_v and_o the_o same_o will_v i_o consecrate_v unto_o thou_o in_o spiritual_a affection_n all_o my_o day_n now_o i_o think_v thus_o with_o myself_o when_o i_o be_v most_o desirous_a of_o and_o addict_v to_o humane_a learning_n it_o be_v wonderful_a delightful_a to_o i_o to_o be_v instruct_v in_o some_o new_a truth_n or_o to_o have_v some_o difficult_a question_n clear_o resolve_v to_o read_v the_o mathematics_n be_v wonderful_a delightful_a because_o they_o prove_v such_o strange_a thing_n than_o i_o have_v recourse_n to_o the_o word_n of_o god_n and_o by_o that_o i_o be_o assure_v that_o all_o the_o treasure_n of_o wisdom_n and_o knowledge_n be_v hide_v in_o christ_n and_o in_o his_o gospel_n then_o further_o i_o have_v recourse_n to_o the_o experience_n of_o the_o people_n of_o god_n in_o the_o word_n of_o god_n and_o in_o particular_a to_o paul_n who_o be_v a_o learned_a man_n yet_o account_v all_o thing_n as_o dross_n and_o dung_n in_o comparison_n of_o christ_n i_o have_v also_o recourse_n to_o the_o experience_n of_o several_a godly_a person_n i_o know_v of_o the_o abundant_a sweetness_n and_o excellency_n of_o the_o knowledge_n of_o christ_n therefore_o lord_n though_o i_o have_v not_o at_o this_o present_a the_o power_n and_o ravish_a feeling_n of_o christ_n excellency_n yet_o assure_v myself_o all_o these_o way_n whereby_o i_o full_o do_v assent_v to_o that_o truth_n that_o it_o be_v life_n eternal_a to_o know_v thou_o and_o jesus_n christ_n i_o do_v beseech_v thou_o o_o lord_n to_o give_v i_o a_o full_a knowledge_n of_o thou_o in_o christ_n i_o beseech_v thou_o i_o beseech_v thou_o let_v not_o my_o undervalue_v of_o this_o knowledge_n cause_v thou_o to_o deny_v it_o i_o shall_v more_o value_v it_o if_o i_o have_v more_o of_o it_o lord_n i_o know_v if_o thou_o shall_v look_v in_o i_o and_o my_o life_n to_o see_v what_o thou_o can_v find_v to_o hinder_v the_o grant_n of_o this_o request_n thou_o may_v find_v enough_o nay_o i_o that_o know_v myself_o not_o so_o well_o as_o thou_o do_v know_v enough_o and_o enough_o nay_o i_o know_v nothing_o to_o move_v thou_o in_o myself_o except_o something_o i_o have_v have_v from_o thou_o those_o thing_n i_o have_v so_o abuse_v that_o i_o know_v they_o may_v be_v swift_a witness_n against_o i_o but_o lord_n if_o thou_o shall_v give_v i_o this_o knowledge_n of_o they_o i_o may_v do_v great_a thing_n for_o thou_o lord_n hear_v i_o alas_o lord_n my_o desire_n to_o know_v christ_n do_v even_o die_v while_o i_o be_o pray_v to_o know_v he_o alas_o lord_n such_o a_o heart_n as_o i_o have_v be_v fit_a for_o none_o but_o thou_o for_o none_o in_o the_o world_n can_v tell_v what_o to_o do_v with_o it_o but_o thou_o only_o it_o be_v past_o the_o skill_n of_o all_o in_o heaven_n and_o earth_n but_o thou_o it_o be_v not_o in_o the_o power_n of_o ordinance_n and_o duty_n if_o thou_o shall_v not_o set_v in_o i_o will_v pity_v the_o soul_n of_o my_o great_a enemy_n if_o i_o shall_v see_v it_o in_o