we_o only_o believe_v we_o must_v flee_v unto_o the_o horn_n of_o the_o althar_n and_o i_o have_v find_v when_o i_o have_v neglect_v prayer_n my_o heart_n have_v be_v very_o dead_a and_o full_a of_o unbelief_n and_o again_o i_o have_v find_v it_o no_o comfort_n to_o rest_v upon_o duty_n for_o that_o be_v a_o dangerous_a evil_a to_o set_v up_o such_o a_o idol_n in_o the_o heart_n but_o here_o in_o lay_v my_o comfort_n when_o i_o by_o faith_n can_v have_v communion_n with_o god_n and_o come_v near_o to_o he_o can_v cast_v my_o burden_n upon_o he_o and_o go_v away_o quiet_a in_o my_o mind_n that_o christ_n will_v do_v all_o for_o i_o and_o when_o i_o be_v willing_a god_n shtould_v do_v what_o he_o please_v with_o i_o and_o my_o will_n be_v bring_v to_o his_o will_n then_o have_v i_o have_v the_o mercy_n i_o have_v ask_v and_o more_o also_o many_o time_n i_o have_v find_v retire_v place_n and_o watch_n the_o best_a opportunity_n and_o great_a advantage_n unto_o prayer_n also_o i_o have_v have_v many_o temptation_n against_o prayer_n but_o the_o best_a way_n to_o overcome_v they_o be_v to_o mind_v the_o command_n of_o jesus_n christ_n which_o be_v that_o we_o shall_v watch_n unto_o prayer_n and_o pray_v always_o keep_v close_o to_o the_o duty_n in_o the_o strength_n of_o christ_n and_o lose_v not_o the_o motion_n of_o the_o spirit_n neither_o grieve_v the_o spirit_n by_o sin_n but_o watch_n against_o all_o appearance_n of_o evil_a for_o i_o hahave_v find_v that_o the_o neglect_n of_o watchfulness_n against_o sin_n and_o be_v overcome_v by_o it_o do_v great_o deaden_a the_o heart_n to_o duty_n keep_v your_o eye_n upon_o the_o promise_n by_o faith_n look_v up_o unto_o christ_n in_o prayer_n and_o let_v all_o take_v heed_n of_o set_v up_o prayer_n or_o any_o other_o duty_n above_o or_o in_o the_o room_n of_o jesus_n christ_n iâ—_n god_n assist_v you_o to_o pray_v for_o a_o mercy_n though_o he_o give_v it_o not_o in_o present_o yet_o hold_v on_o if_o your_o ask_n be_v according_a to_o his_o will_n and_o your_o end_n the_o glory_n of_o god_n and_o you_o find_v enlargement_n from_o the_o spirit_n of_o life_n you_o may_v be_v sure_a he_o will_v be_v answer_v you_o in_o that_o thing_n or_o else_o in_o some_o thing_n better_o for_o you_o in_o his_o own_o season_n myself_o seek_v the_o lord_n 20_o year_n for_o one_o thing_n before_o i_o have_v a_o answer_n but_o at_o last_o be_v at_o prayer_n after_o i_o have_v do_v god_n give_v i_o in_o a_o most_o gracious_a answer_n and_o set_v down_o the_o very_a time_n of_o deliverance_n and_o do_v according_o accomplish_v it_o at_o the_o very_a time_n to_o he_o be_v the_o praise_n and_o many_o other_o thing_n i_o have_v seek_v the_o lord_n for_o and_o he_o have_v be_v please_v to_o grant_v my_o desire_n especial_o when_o he_o have_v make_v i_o earnest_a and_o importunate_a and_o have_v assist_v i_o to_o hold_v on_o and_o give_v i_o a_o spirit_n of_o faith_n to_o believe_v for_o the_o thing_n pray_v for_o another_o 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and_o indeed_o so_o walk_v as_o none_o can_v see_v aught_o a_o mouse_n in_o her_o conversation_n yet_o notwithstanding_o the_o poor_a heart_n be_v ignorant_a of_o herself_o and_o of_o jesus_n christ_n but_o she_o be_v under_o a_o family_n catechise_n and_o instruction_n be_v by_o the_o mighty_a power_n of_o the_o eternal_a spirit_n work_v convince_v of_o original_a sin_n and_o then_o she_o see_v that_o for_o all_o her_o formality_n she_o be_v a_o sinner_n and_o have_v need_n of_o a_o saviour_n and_o so_o be_v bring_v home_o to_o close_v with_o jesus_n christ_n this_o also_o i_o have_v find_v that_o a_o constant_a close_o seck_v of_o god_n have_v be_v crown_v with_o his_o presence_n for_o i_o myself_o be_v with_o some_o other_o desire_v to_o pray_v to_o the_o lord_n for_o council_n and_o direction_n for_o they_o but_o they_o will_v not_o tell_v i_o in_o what_o it_o be_v that_o they_o seek_v direction_n yet_o notwithstanding_o i_o do_v not_o know_v the_o thing_n i_o set_v myself_o to_o seek_v god_n for_o they_o and_o he_o be_v please_v to_o show_v i_o what_o it_o be_v this_o be_v anno_fw-la 1657._o and_o i_o do_v pray_v god_n to_o let_v i_o know_v his_o mind_n in_o that_o particular_a and_o the_o lord_n put_v it_o upon_o my_o heart_n to_o go_v and_o read_v and_o the_o place_n of_o scripture_n hand_v to_o i_o be_v quite_o against_o their_o work_n at_o that_o time_n which_o they_o have_v upon_o their_o heart_n to_o do_v than_o i_o seek_v the_o lord_n again_o and_o the_o second_o answer_n be_v go_v in_o and_o â—ead_a then_o i_o look_v up_o to_o the_o lord_n as_o i_o do_v before_o and_o say_v lord_n show_v i_o where_o i_o shall_v read_v and_o that_o scripture_n also_o be_v flat_a against_o their_o work_n and_o just_o so_o i_o have_v a_o three_o answer_v also_o and_o the_o next_o day_n as_o i_o be_v at_o my_o work_n my_o heart_n and_o meditation_n be_v above_o and_o my_o secret_a desire_n still_o to_o god_n for_o the_o further_a teach_n of_o his_o good_a spirit_n and_o these_o follow_a line_n with_o much_o more_o come_v in_o as_o a_o further_a answer_n from_o the_o lord_n as_o for_o the_o work_n of_o babylon_n it_o be_v a_o mighty_a work_n and_o strong_a but_o yet_o my_o power_n shall_v it_o complete_a for_o my_o wisdom_n it_o mighty_a great_a they_o must_v sit_v still_o behold_v my_o power_n which_o work_v for_o they_o hour_n by_o hour_n and_o now_o my_o dear_a christian_a friend_n into_o who_o hand_n this_o my_o poor_a mite_n shall_v come_v i_o desire_v you_o take_v notice_n of_o that_o great_a love_n and_o wondered_a grace_n of_o god_n which_o he_o have_v be_v please_v to_o manifest_v
give_v i_o a_o taste_n of_o the_o riches_n of_o his_o pardonning_a love_n and_o grace_n in_o christ_n jesus_n i_o be_v also_o carry_v out_o to_o pity_v other_o and_o beg_v that_o god_n will_v let_v they_o also_o taste_v of_o the_o same_o and_o a_o particular_a person_n be_v set_v upon_o my_o heart_n to_o beg_v of_o god_n for_o and_o in_o a_o short_a time_n the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o answer_v my_o desire_n in_o work_v a_o work_n of_o grace_n in_o that_o soul_n then_o i_o be_v call_v by_o providence_n to_o remove_v into_o a_o dark_a family_n where_o i_o have_v live_v some_o time_n beofore_o and_o i_o then_o find_v much_o opposition_n against_o i_o be_v not_o willing_a to_o go_v thither_o again_o but_o set_v myself_o to_o pray_v not_o that_o i_o may_v be_v willing_a to_o submit_v to_o the_o will_n of_o god_n but_o that_o i_o may_v not_o remove_v into_o that_o family_n though_o have_v i_o then_o understand_v it_o my_o call_n be_v clear_a enough_o be_v earnest_o desire_v there_o unto_o by_o my_o husband_n and_o invite_v by_o the_o family_n who_o now_o profess_v they_o can_v not_o be_v without_o i_o though_o when_o i_o be_v there_o before_o they_o do_v not_o affect_v i_o well_o be_v lofty_a and_o can_v not_o bear_v such_o admonition_n that_o sometime_o let_v fall_n among_o they_o but_o upon_o the_o importunity_n of_o my_o husband_n and_o this_o family_n i_o then_o at_o length_n set_v myself_o to_o seek_v the_o lord_n that_o my_o heart_n may_v be_v make_v to_o submit_v to_o his_o will_n what_o ever_o it_o be_v and_o that_o if_o i_o do_v go_v i_o may_v some_o way_n or_o other_o be_v useful_a to_o he_o in_o that_o place_n now_o that_o which_o make_v i_o so_o unwilling_a to_o go_v unto_o that_o family_n be_v because_o of_o the_o opposition_n that_o i_o have_v meet_v with_o before_o in_o the_o way_n of_o god_n and_o then_o a_o want_n of_o the_o mean_n both_o of_o preach_v the_o word_n and_o fellowship_n with_o the_o saint_n but_o upon_o my_o earnest_n seek_v to_o know_v 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a_o accuse_a conscience_n all_o which_o the_o lord_n have_v deliver_v you_o from_o and_o therefore_o now_o wait_v upon_o the_o lord_n i_o be_o confident_a the_o lord_n will_v appear_v in_o this_o thing_n and_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v after_o seek_v of_o he_o to_o set_v it_o upon_o my_o heart_n that_o that_o child_n be_v well_o with_o he_o and_o that_o he_o have_v such_o another_o mercy_n for_o i_o on_o earth_n which_o he_o give_v i_o faith_n in_o notwithstanding_o great_a opposition_n against_o at_o that_o present_a yet_o after_o some_o half_n a_o year_n wait_v upon_o the_o lord_n i_o be_v assure_v of_o it_o a_o fit_a of_o desertion_n after_o this_o the_o god_n of_o comfort_n be_v please_v to_o withdraw_v and_o leave_v i_o in_o a_o desert_a condition_n which_o i_o find_v to_o be_v very_o sad_a and_o i_o be_v very_o much_o perplex_v in_o my_o spirit_n but_o can_v not_o speak_v of_o it_o unto_o any_o but_o go_v to_o hear_v a_o sermon_n the_o minister_n be_v upon_o that_o text_n lord_n 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i_o be_v this_o a_o worship_n in_o spirit_n and_o truth_n which_o thy_o soul_n when_o it_o be_v upon_o the_o wing_n with_o god_n can_v join_v with_o all_o for_o i_o can_v not_o join_v with_o the_o word_n then_o read_v in_o that_o foremost_a prayer_n upon_o which_o i_o even_o melt_v in_o my_o spirit_n and_o fall_v into_o shed_v of_o tear_n resolve_v to_o separate_v from_o and_o come_v no_o more_o to_o join_v in_o such_o a_o way_n of_o worship_n until_o i_o have_v very_o diligent_o search_v into_o the_o true_a way_n of_o god_n worship_n as_o it_o be_v write_v in_o his_o bless_a word_n and_o in_o order_n there_o unto_o i_o make_v use_v of_o all_o the_o best_a book_n i_o can_v get_v that_o be_v then_o publish_v to_o that_o purpose_n and_o also_o call_v in_o the_o help_n of_o many_o godly_a minister_n of_o several_a judgement_n but_o when_o all_o this_o be_v do_v i_o be_v still_o unsatisfied_a in_o that_o behalf_n and_o then_o do_v i_o cry_v unto_o the_o lord_n to_o teach_v i_o and_o it_o be_v by_o the_o lord_n set_v upon_o my_o heart_n that_o i_o must_v not_o do_v any_o thing_n in_o the_o way_n of_o his_o worship_n but_o what_o i_o have_v ground_n for_o in_o his_o holy_a word_n &_o that_o god_n servant_n be_v always_o to_o observe_v his_o pattern_n in_o all_o that_o they_o do_v to_o he_o and_o that_o scripture_n be_v much_o set_v upon_o my_o heart_n rev._n 22._o vers_fw-la 18_o 19_o for_o i_o testify_v unto_o every_o man_n that_o hear_v the_o word_n of_o the_o prophesy_n of_o this_o
consult_v what_o to_o do_v for_o i_o but_o conclude_v there_o be_v no_o help_n but_o i_o must_v die_v but_o when_o i_o hear_v that_o i_o say_v there_o be_v yet_o help_v in_o god_n and_o it_o be_v set_v upon_o i_o to_o believe_v that_o if_o i_o can_v but_o touch_v the_o hemm_n of_o the_o garment_n of_o jesus_n christ_n that_o be_v believe_o go_v to_o he_o i_o shall_v be_v heal_v be_v also_o put_v in_o mind_n of_o that_o promise_n that_o whosoever_o forsake_v any_o thing_n for_o his_o sake_n and_o the_o gospel_n mat._n 19_o 29._o shall_v receive_v a_o hundredfold_a then_o i_o cry_v lord_n give_v i_o to_o be_v heal_v of_o this_o distemper_n by_o thou_o see_v thou_o be_v please_v to_o deny_v help_n by_o man_n and_o one_o day_n our_o pastor_n call_v in_o to_o visit_v i_o as_o he_o be_v go_v to_o the_o meeting_n who_o i_o do_v desire_v to_o pray_v for_o i_o and_o to_o stir_v up_o the_o brother_n to_o join_v with_o he_o and_o i_o much_o encourage_v he_o that_o they_o shall_v pray_v in_o faith_n believe_v for_o what_o they_o ask_v tell_v he_o that_o by_o faith_n and_o prayer_n he_o will_v assure_o heal_v i_o and_o very_o according_a unto_o my_o faith_n it_o be_v do_v unto_o i_o for_o ever_o bless_v be_v god_n for_o j._n christ_n for_o as_o they_o be_v pray_v in_o his_o name_n the_o distemper_n depart_v next_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o lay_v his_o afflict_a hand_n upon_o another_o of_o my_o child_n than_o do_v i_o much_o desire_n that_o all_o affliction_n may_v be_v sanctify_v rather_o then_o remove_v and_o that_o by_o all_o i_o may_v be_v make_v more_o conformable_a unto_o jesus_n christ_n be_v i_o help_v then_o to_o read_v and_o mind_n thad_z place_n in_o job_n job_n 34_o 32._o that_o which_o i_o see_v not_o teach_v thou_o i_o if_o i_o have_v do_v iniquity_n i_o will_v do_v no_o more_o then_o our_o pastor_n come_v again_o to_o visit_v i_o i_o ask_v he_o how_o we_o shall_v know_v the_o mind_n of_o god_n in_o these_o many_o affliction_n he_o answer_v i_o that_o a_o man_n have_v a_o orchard_n or_o vineyard_n walk_v therein_o and_o among_o all_o the_o tree_n he_o make_v choice_n it_o may_v be_v of_o some_o one_o tree_n who_o stand_v be_v more_o pleasant_a and_o convenient_a than_o other_o and_o that_o tree_n he_o chap_v &_o hack_n and_o make_v a_o arbour_n to_o sit_v in_o for_o his_o delight_n and_o say_v he_o if_o god_n will_v do_v so_o by_o you_o will_v you_o not_o there_o with_o be_v content_a oh_o yes_o say_v i_o if_o that_o be_v the_o good_a will_n of_o my_o heavenly_a father_n and_o bless_v be_v god_n i_o do_v find_v it_o so_o for_o though_o i_o have_v sow_v in_o tear_n i_o have_v reap_v in_o joy_n and_o have_v find_v the_o time_n of_o great_a outward_a trouble_n and_o affliction_n have_v be_v the_o only_a time_n of_o great_a inward_a and_o spiritual_a joy_n and_o soul_n consolation_n very_o i_o can_v express_v with_o tongue_n nor_o pen_v the_o large_a experience_n i_o have_v have_v upon_o this_o account_n and_o this_o i_o have_v find_v that_o when_o a_o poor_a soul_n be_v faithful_a and_o single_a heart_a for_o god_n walk_v up_o to_o the_o light_n id_fw-la have_v receive_v this_o be_v the_o very_a way_n to_o enjoy_v the_o presence_n of_o god_n and_o his_o blessing_n upon_o he_o in_o what_o state_n and_o condition_n so_o ever_o he_o be_v in_o for_o this_o i_o can_v declare_v from_o my_o own_o experience_n that_o lose_v be_v the_o way_n to_o gain_v troublet_n be_v the_o way_n to_o peace_n sorrow_n be_v the_o way_n to_o joy_n and_o death_n be_v the_o way_n to_o life_n he_o that_o lose_v his_o life_n for_o my_o sake_n say_v jesus_n christ_n the_o same_o shall_v find_v it_o through_o the_o valley_n of_o tear_n lie_v the_o way_n to_o the_o mountain_n of_o joy_n for_o whilst_o i_o set_v myself_o in_o good_a earnest_n to_o seek_v the_o lord_n for_o instruction_n into_o the_o truth_n as_o it_o be_v in_o jesus_n i_o meet_v with_o many_o difficulty_n but_o yet_o out_o prayer_n hear_v god_n be_v please_v to_o come_v in_o by_o degree_n have_v through_o his_o grace_n give_v i_o faith_n in_o his_o son_n who_o be_v exalt_v as_o a_o prince_n and_o a_o sà viour_n to_o give_v i_o repentance_n make_v i_o also_o willing_a to_o be_v baptize_v for_o the_o remission_n of_o sin_n now_o that_o which_o make_v i_o willing_a to_o obey_v the_o lord_n in_o this_o ordinance_n be_v the_o command_n of_o jesus_n christ_n in_o mat._n 28_o 19_o and_o act._n 10_o 48._o and_o the_o example_n of_o christ_n and_o the_o practice_n of_o the_o apostle_n and_o primitive_a saint_n together_o with_o the_o promise_n of_o the_o gift_n of_o the_o holy_a ghost_n annex_v thereunto_o act_v 2_o 38._o and_o indeed_o this_o truth_n a_o last_o be_v so_o set_v upon_o my_o heart_n by_o the_o lord_n that_o though_o many_o difficulty_n lay_v in_o the_o way_n yet_o the_o lord_n carry_v i_o through_o they_o all_o and_o after_o i_o have_v obey_v the_o lord_n therein_o in_o very_a faithsulness_n i_o must_v declare_v that_o i_o do_v enjoy_v the_o income_n of_o god_n in_o a_o more_o plentisul_n manner_n then_o before_o but_o satan_n for_o some_o time_n labour_v to_o hinder_v i_o in_o obey_v the_o lord_n in_o this_o piece_n of_o service_n with_o this_o temptation_n that_o by_o this_o mean_v a_o death_n in_o all_o likelihood_n and_o in_o a_o eye_n of_o reason_n will_v fall_v upon_o my_o livelihood_n but_o god_n make_v it_o a_o furtherance_n to_o i_o and_o to_o other_o also_o so_o that_o many_o of_o we_o be_v at_o that_o time_n after_o wait_v on_o god_n by_o fast_v and_o prayer_n baptize_v together_o and_o after_o that_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o bless_v i_o in_o my_o employment_n that_o follow_a year_n with_o more_o than_o ordinary_a success_n by_o which_o the_o devil_n be_v prove_v a_o liar_n but_o afterward_o i_o have_v some_o fear_n that_o my_o employment_n may_v be_v a_o suare_fw-la unto_o mâ—e_n as_o the_o world_n be_v to_o many_o and_o that_o i_o shall_v be_v too_o earthly_a in_o it_o for_o this_o scripture_n do_v follow_v i_o very_o much_o which_o i_o desire_v to_o give_v good_a heed_n unto_o oh_o earth_n earth_n hear_v the_o word_n of_o the_o lord_n and_o often_o in_o prayer_n i_o do_v cry_v unto_o god_n say_v speak_v lord_n for_o thy_o servant_n desire_v to_o hear_v and_o be_v very_o desirous_a to_o know_v what_o the_o lord_n will_v have_v i_o to_o understand_v by_o this_o word_n and_o when_o i_o have_v consider_v i_o find_v some_o thing_n in_o my_o employment_n sinsul_n and_o a_o hindrance_n unto_o my_o spiritual_a enjoyment_n to_o convince_v i_o of_o which_o the_o lord_n waâ—_n please_v to_o with_o hold_v his_o blessing_n upon_o that_o employment_n which_o before_o i_o have_v find_v therein_o to_o the_o convince_a and_o convert_v of_o some_o to_o himself_o so_o find_v something_o in_o it_o contrary_a to_o his_o will_n i_o be_v constrain_v to_o leave_v it_o of_o and_o after_o much_o seek_n of_o the_o lord_n for_o council_n these_o scripture_n be_v much_o with_o i_o math._n 7_o 7._o ask_v and_o it_o shall_v be_v give_v you_o seek_v and_o you_o shall_v find_v knockâ—_n and_o it_o shall_v be_v open_v unto_o you_o if_o you_o then_o be_v evil_a know_v how_o to_o give_v good_a gift_n unto_o your_o child_n how_o much_o more_o shall_v your_o father_n which_o be_v in_o heaven_n give_v good_a thing_n to_o they_o that_o ask_v he_o math._n 7_o 11._o and_o on_o my_o servant_n and_o on_o my_o hand_n maiden_n will_v i_o pour_v out_o of_o my_o spirit_n and_o they_o shall_v prophesy_v act_n 2_o 18._o these_o promise_n do_v dwell_v with_o i_o for_o a_o long_a season_n so_o that_o i_o be_v much_o stir_v up_o to_o pray_v to_o the_o lord_n that_o he_o will_v please_v to_o accomplish_v they_o upon_o i_o and_o pour_v out_o of_o his_o bless_a spirit_n upon_o i_o and_o after_o long_o seek_v especial_o one_o day_n be_v very_o earnest_a and_o importunate_a with_o the_o lord_n after_o which_o i_o go_v out_o to_o walk_v and_o on_o a_o sudden_a i_o be_v endue_v with_o the_o gift_n of_o sing_v in_o such_o a_o way_n and_o manner_n as_o i_o have_v not_o be_v acquaint_v with_o before_o and_o immediate_o this_o follow_a song_n come_v in_o as_o fast_o as_o i_o can_v sing_v as_o follow_v it_o be_v in_o the_o year_n 1655._o in_o the_o month_n of_o february_n come_v home_o come_v home_o thy_o work_n be_v do_v my_o glory_n thou_o shall_v see_v let_v all_o the_o meek_a one_o of_o the_o earth_n come_v home_o along_o with_o thou_o cast_v of_o the_o world_n it_o be_v too_o base_a and_o low_a for_o thou_o to_o dwell_v i_o have_v redeem_v thou_o from_o