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A86135 The Trap-pannnians aias [sic] trap-pallians alias trap-tonians. A detection of some unparall'd plots, attempts and perpetrations practised of a knot of knaves, in and about the city of London. For the apprehending and mulcting of tjhose [sic] whom (by their conivance) the cunning courtezans of the town consent to &c. to the disgrace impoverishment and utter ruin of many honest and eminent men in and about London. 1653 (1653) Wing H126; Thomason E708_10; ESTC R207151 4,987 8

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Mansion of their owne Whose function sicknesse and is almost growne fit for Pye Corner to sing Piggs or save Roast meat from burning he I say poore Knave Dares not upon his dearest Maulkin ceaze Though he be furnish't with a Writ of ease But hee 's ejected by our brave Trap. Pannians Cugel'd and us'd like any scab'd Rascallian Vnlesse the thing he so much doats upon For which all hopes of his salvation Hee 'd part with glorious gold he can produce Gold that supports the Church and makes the Stewes Whiter than Nuneries or place where Religious Auchorites secluded are Nor may the witty Poor find protection From this Pestiferous this dire Infection No though Apollo and the three times three Engage themselv's as his securitie Vpon the sacred Bard their impious hands They 'l lay and scourge him with iron wands But scabberded nor will the Rogves retire Though he strike Orpheus or Imphions Lyre If with his treacherous Goddesse they surprize him Not all his allegories can disguise him His Tropes and Figures will alas not ayd him Vnlesse to h●r and these that have betray'd him He prostrate what h● very seldome wins Money't expiate his venerious sins Is it not a vast power these seeming sin-haters lay claime to and insooth did they aime at their makers glory to suppresse and erradicate those crying fin of Adultery and fornication we should have cause to prize them no lesse then Patriarchs and to afford them as much veneration as the sick brain'd Vulgarre dedicated to Trinmvirate of sedition that threefold cord of Schisme Prin Burton and Bastwick when they found Manumission in spight of the Bishops Mandates but we know that these fellows smell no more of vertue than a Poll-Cat of Musk as if Mintz were he alive should impeach Martin of sensuality or Rablais accuse Aretine and the Ovid of obscenity fellows whose fortunes are as broken as their fronts are brazen their manner of entrapping take thus from him who experimentally avows it Three or perhaps six of these Trap Pannians are given to know by their Mistresse in common that such a Knight such a Gentleman such a Citizen affects her and is solicitous to enjoy her he saith she hath been very beneficial As courteous a Cullee as ever Curtezan dandled our least of Taverne Reckonings is forty shillings or three pounds Mention but a paire of Gloves and a Gowne and Kirtle attends me or the losse of a Hand kercheife and twenty ells of Holland wait me This Loach has store of coine you know my meaning I will seemingly for I hate the fellows Person more than hel give my consent such a day and houre in such a place to meet the Beast with two backs at which time you three shall be absconded either under the bed in the closet or some other private place and when the Hot-spur begins the onfet I will let fall either my Busk or the Bed-staffe which may serve for your warning peice then rush upon us one of you as my husband and surprize us I shall not be angry to be call'd what I profess my selfe Whore nor blame the hand that bangs me since the compensation will prove ample enough bang him Coxcombly Cit say they it will be but Justice to draine hir purse or hang his person all things concluded on my Inamorate has his Mistresse grant to meet but first he solemnly sw●urs not to divulge her for should her husband a man of an anstere and fiery temper but have the least ●ckling of their stollen imbracements they must both expect certain death either by his hands or the hangmans feace not my sweet answers he we will so carry it that no detriment shall happen either to thee or me and for this free favour thou shalt ever command me body and sou l the wish'd day on all hands now arrives the lover folds his M●st●esse in his armes sporting so long at the brink that now he is resolved to leap in when oh fatall there appears his Ladies husband and two others with swords and pistolls who with death menacing brows threaten to dispatch them shee good soule on her knees with teares begs● her husbands mercy but he loading her with blows seemes as if nothing may appease him but blood while her poor amazed Lover esteeming this as a just judgement of God inflicted on him as an allay to his lust like a p●rfect P●neteutlary implores his Ladies jealous Lord to spare him 〈◊〉 ●either spill his blood nor expose him to to shame in lieu of such love he will gratifie him with a good sum of 〈◊〉 but the angry husband remains refractory vowing to off 〈◊〉 both his wife and the ●dulterer on the altar of revenge the Law quoth he shall take place and therefore my trusty freind whom I shall ever honour for this aid let us convey this strumpe● and her Letcher to the next ●ustice upon this the surprized couple a fresh besetch which m●llifying the harts of her husbands freinds they earnestly request that he will not bring his wife to publick shame for say they consider it will redound to your disputagement and for the Gentleman we are confident of his sorrow fulnesse for his fault and therefore let us prevail with you accept of a sufficient sum and let him returne to his house this fot their sakes is at length granted the Cit with many thanks for the favour proposes his watch with all the mony in his pockets gives bond for so much more and praysing God departed to his home Eheu quam tenui pendeut mortalia fil● Thus and thus have hundreds Gentlemen and Mechanicks about London been lately served and which is strange so prevalent is the itching disease now grown that all the waming in the world no though they have been informed by those who have have bought the expetience at a dear rate can deter some from ventring upon this Praecipice but let us leave such fooles to their just deserved destiny and conclude with a Satyre directed to those fallacious females who draw men into such dangerous Praemunites Pox take ye all your qualities are much After your faces and your faith is such As are your workes f●r what is there in you That is not counterfeit and painted too Doe your lips ope before ye speak ye lye And if ye sigh ye lye most damnably False lights your eyes are and false weights your eares Your hearts false measures and false pearle your teares So talk or think or look or laugh or crie Seeme or seeme not walk stand or sit ye lye Nay there 's more yet your couzening of those Most who in you do most trust repose Your loving most those who do least love you And chusing to dye rather then be true Blush blush fond men and fair example take By those have been Trap-Pannian'd how you make An idoll of a face and tak 't for granted There 's no such Devill as a Whore that 's sainted She thinks her wit and beauty without Peere And ore thy slavish soul doth dommineere Like some great Goddesse counting thou wert b●●● As a thing mortall only for the scorn Curse on such Vassalage henceforth expresse Even in your loves Valour and Manlinesse S.H. FINIS