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A30616 A narrative of the conversion of Thomas Mackernesse, late of March, in the Ille of Ely who was condemn'd for robbery, &c. and executed at Wisbech, Aug. 19, 1694 : with an account of his penitential behaviour, and discourses with the ministers who came to visit him / publish'd by J. Burroughs. Burroughs, J.; Mackernesse, Thomas. 1694 (1694) Wing B6128; ESTC R29165 12,362 41

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added I could instruct him better then he knew of himself Now said he I am Resolved to Prepare my self for Dying though at first when I returned from the Place of Tryal and Condemnation to Prison many Vain Projects came into my Head of preventing my Execution And truly said he all along I have cherished flattering but false hopes of Escape never once admitted a serious thought of Death till I heard the Judge say Mackerness You shall Die And then those Words struck me to the Heart yet for a time I stifled that Allarm till on a Sudden my Mind Labouring hard under many Temptations to the contrary and overcoming them I was fully determined to a Vigorous and Serious Application to the Things of another Life Hereupon I Endeavoured to help him what I could in the Great work he had to do for his poor Soul Desired and Assisted him to look into himself that he might discover the Vileness and Deformity of his Depraved Nature that Fountain of Corruption from which all the Evil of his Life proceeded spending some time in such Discourse as I thought most conducive throughly to inform him of his Lost Undone Estate not without some fruit I at last commended him to God by Prayer so left him that Night promising to come again the next Night Accordingly I went and found him at Prayer himself and in much the same temper of Mind though still more hopeful He declined a multitude saying He desired no company but that which might do his Soul good For now he found all was vanity wished he had looked into his own heart when he came first into Prison and desired a few days longer to have prepared for Death but since that was impossible feelingly declared That the worst place in Hell would be too good for him if he did not industriously improve every Minute of this little Time In Prayer he did with great eagerness catch hold of the expressions I used Repeating them over again with more than ordinary fervency When I importunately begged of God that those poor Sinners including the rest of the Prisoners and particularly that poor Woman that suffered with him might be as Firebrands pulled out of the burning he vehemently cryed out Firebrands indeed Lord And when I added A Christ good God for these miserable Souls he cryed aloud A Christ and nothing but a Christ weeping as he spake with much more to the like purpose giving various expressions of a Heart in some good measure broken with a true sense of sin and misery thereby seeming desirous to speak with me alone but could not that Night by reason of much company and therefore deferred it till Morning Coming again the next Morning he did ingenuously open to me the state of his Soul and acquainted me how Satan that malicious and subtile Adversary did watch for Advantages against him to obstruct his Proceeding in the great Business of his Soul's Salvation manifested more Self-Detestation accompanied with Pathetical and Ardent Longings after Christ Now I observed in him some kindly Beginnings of True Repentance which I laboured to Promote with utmost diligence He shewed me several Books lent to him concerning which he asked my Advice My Reply was That he had not time to Read Books and that I judged it best to lay them all aside except the Bible and a little Book Intitled A Guide for Heaven because it contained Excellent Directions for a saving close with Christ I directed him to several Texts of Scripture which I desired him to Peruse and Meditate upon in my absence He thankfully accepted my Directions and when I returned in the Evening he saluted me on this manner Welcome welcome Guest indeed I can now tell you that you and none but such as you are that come to do my Soul good are welcome to me One might read a marvelous change of his inward Disposition in his Countenance he seemed transported with more than ordinary sense of the Quickening and Comforting Influences of Divine Grace I have been considering saith he the Advice your gave me and Meditating on those Scriptures you directed me to And Oh! I see it is Nothing but a Christ will do me good Oh the Sweet Promises that God hath made to Returning Sinners Blessed be God I am out of Hell I had thought I had been in Hell in the Night I saw as it were Hell Gaping the Devil Roaring and my own Conscience Condemning me to the Pit of Hell and indeed crying out with Horrour Blood gushed from my Nose Some that lay in the Room with me said I had been in a Slumber whether I was or no I could not well tell but thought I might be so However when I found my self out of Hell Oh how it affected me Then he Wept and Melted kindly saying Oh what a Wretch am I that I should Sin against so good a God as this who hath declared himself so ready to forgive I am resolved to lie at his Feet I am convinced that I am a lost undone Creature out of Christ It is not all I can do that will or can save me Were I to Live my days over again and spend them in nothing but Prayers and Tears that could not Save me no it is nothing but the mercy of God in Christ that must save me and upon this will I trust I am resolved that at the last I will lay my self wholly at the Feet of God's Mercy in Jesus Christ and there I will Die This he utteered with raised and enlarged Affections They have brougt my Coffin and I am not afraid to see it proceeded he I thank God I can freely Lie down in it These Shackles about my Leggs are as if they were not I do not regard them My Heart is so cheared with the consideration of the Pretious Promises God hath made to poor perishing Sinners and Why not to me And Why not to thee indeed said I. She Loved much to whom much was forgiven Ah Reply'd he it is much must be forgiven me Much indeed More to this purpose passed between us Several other Ministers were with him that Day and Prayed with him as he told me what Discourse they had with him I know not On Tuesday Morning being the day before his Execution after some Conference for the settling his Faith and Hope upon a right bottom cautioning him against all the delusions of a subtile Tempter and self-deceiving Heart that he might not be confident in himself or any thing else but only in the sure Word of Truth he broke out into a most Pathetical Rapture not without a Flood of Tears Admireing the Love of God to Man in Christ Jesus so as was wonderful to behold and next to inexpressible Thus he continued for about a quarter of an hour his Heart seemed as if it would break in pieces before it could get vent it seem'd to me impossible such Words as then flowed from his Mouth should proceed from any other than an Heart truly
was precious to him but he shewed strange Zeal for the Salvation of others pitied poor Sinners with bowels of Compassions oft declaring his deep sense of their miserable state who lived careless in the matters of their Souls Eternal Peace and Comfort A little before Execution enquiring of him what Confession he thought to make he said he was not inclined to speak much publickly in that respect for this reason That he judged it useless and at most would only gratifie some who came for nothing else but to hear him tell a long Story of a Vicious Life which was more likely to discompose his own mind than tend to their Edification Moreover he said I cannot affect the Guilty and for others some may believe me some may not The Guilty know themselves I will therefore leave them to God and their own Consciences wishing them true Repentance that they may never come to this miserable End He did not think fit to go out of the World accusing others whom he could no more than accuse and neither bring them to deserved Punishment for what they had done nor prevent thereby their proceeding in the same course of Wickedness No for said he God must convince them and change their hearts which he did and would pray earnestly for to his last He was desirous to imploy all his little space in seeking God and giving up himself to Jesus Christ in humble prayer now and then saying Oh! my Time is short within a few hours yea moments I shall be in Eternity O vain World And thus he prepared himself to Embrace Death with comfort for though any one might see great seriousness in all his Carriage when going to the Place of Execution and when there yet as little sadness appeared as ever did sn any in his condition that was not absolutely stupid and insensible Requesting me oft not to leave him till Death separated us I accompanied him to the Place of Execution where I prayed with him committing his Soul to God he joyned with me with great Ardency Then was sung the latter part of the 39th Psalm by his appointment in singing whereof he seemed Elevated in Heart and Voice above most present At last turning about and looking round on the multitude he took his farewell in these words or words to the like effect Gentle Spectators You are come to see a sinful miserable wretch suffer this Ignominious Death I thank God it is not terrible to me for I trust that I shall find Mercy with God for my poor Soul through the precious Blood of my sweet Jesus You may see here what Sin will bring you to Oh take warning by me take heed of Sin shun Temptations flee Evil Company beware of Sabbath-breaking for by this Sin the Devil begins with many to draw them to all manner of Wickedness so he did with me Oh forsake all your Evil Ways turn to the Lord he is a gracious God Oh vile Wretch that I have so sinned against a holy just and merciful God I have been a Prodigal indeed but I hope now a Returning one Oh that they that have been my Companions in mischief may repent before it be too late I beg of them to fear God and mind their Souls There may be some of them that hear me at this time the Lord touch their hearts Oh do not still go on you are known to God who will call you to account for all one day Think of it I beseech you the Lord give you Repentance and Pardon your Sins that you may not come to this miseable End you see me come to With more to the like purpose Then Resigning himself to God and beging Acceptance with him for the Merits of a Dear and Alsufficient Redeemer he Ended this Temporal and miserable Life Hitherto I have given a bare Historical Relation of what came within my own personal knowledge and I Appeal to God for my Fidelity in the whole For though in some things I may have varied from his precise words which yet I have stuck to as much as is possible I dare confidently affirm that I have not departed from his Sense and the truth in any thing Only let me add farther a few Observations for Spiritual improvement as what may from the Preceding Narrative be inferred First That when God sets sin upon the Conscience and inlightens the mind to see its Guilt the most obdurate sinner cannot withstand the Terrors of Divine Wrath This was most plainly demonstrated in this Man's Case He that had once made a mock of Sin as all ungodly Fools do and no fear of the Great and Terrible Majesty of an Infinitely Holy Just and Omnipotent God did lay constraint upon him but in contempt of Hell and all the Threatnings of Eternal Divine Displeasure swaggered it out in those ways that lead directly to Eternal perdition till the Lord graciously let in some beams of Holy Light into his Soul then how horrid were his Sins and how dreadful the apprehension of their just desert Oh the Agonies that I saw him in How did he Tremble And the thoughts of having to do with an Angry Almighty God will shake the Hearts of the stoutest Sinners for Who knows the power of his Wrath Who can dwell with Everlasting burnings Secondly That when Men come once seriously to consider Death Judgment and a future State the necessity of a Christ for their Souls will presently and evidently appear to them Did not Men cast these out of their Thoughts it could not be that they should live at ease set so light by a Saviour as the generality of them do Alas Men put the evil Day far from them and look upon Death Judgment and things of another World as at a vast distance or at most not absolutely certain and so their Preparations for Eternity are but Languid Remiss Heartless and Insignificant But let Death look them in the Face and their Minds be possessed with Sober Lively Believing Apprehensions of the grand important matters of a World to come then give them a Christ and nothing but a Christ is the load and earnest cry of their Souls Oh the worth excellency and necessity of that pretious Christ that they had long before vilified and rejected Thirdly If the Lord please to put a poor Sinner upon sollicitous care and concern for Saving the Soul no means will be neglected no diligence in the use thereof wanting for that end especially they will be much in Prayer Cry oft and mightily to the Lord for Grace and Mercy Give God and their own Souls no rest till they find both Nothing more remarkable than this in the present instance What a price did he set upon Prayer as appears by this that he gladly accepted the Prayers of any though of never so mean capacity and though at first he could only Pray with others help yet upon my pressing him to exercise himself in Prayer using his own expressions and telling him when he pleaded he could